Lozovska 1

Olga Lozovska
Professor H. Batty
English 101
30 May 2017

Visual Essay Reflection

First of all, I have changed my title to make it more informative. I have changed and

developed my thesis statement a little bit more, to encompass the reader about my meaning and

interpretation of the mural. In the introduction paragraph I have moved last three sentences that

were after the thesis: two of them I placed before the thesis and one of them I moved to the end

of the fourth paragraph. Besides that, I have moved my paragraphs around. In my original essay

my second, third, and fourth paragraphs were talking about how dangerous motorcycles are and

about the lane splitting, and next two paragraphs about the mural itself, I analyzed details and

colors. I moved paragraphs about mural analysis and placed them after the introduction

paragraph and before paragraphs about the motorcycles. Also, I decided to add another

paragraph about the counterargument that people think that this mural is about the death

celebrities, and I have placed it before the summary. In the second paragraph, I tried to develop

some ideas more, such as an interpretation why the author used this specific comic style for the

mural and to relate some details to the motorcyclists, such as zombie boys facial expression. In

my fifth paragraph about the mortality of motorcycles, I have added the sentence that refers to

the thesis and the mural. I have deleted some sentences in my next two paragraphs where I talk

about the lane splitting and combined them into one paragraph. In my summary, I decided to

develop some sentences more and to restate the thesis. Besides all this, I revised this essay for

some grammar and spelling mistakes.