Zamitiz 1

Yasmin Zamitiz

Professor Batty

English 28

16 May 2017

Friend or Foe?

What is a friendship really about? Especially when we are referring to a best friend? Is

friendship about competing against each other? or is it about supporting and respecting one

another and having the freedom to be oneself? Growing up, I did not have a lot of female friends:

it almost seemed like most girls were allergic to me. I seem to have related more to boys. When I

met my best friend Jessica, we quickly became really close. She was almost like a sister and she

became a part of my life. We laughed, we cried and we even had small fights just like sisters

would. But as we grew up, we also grew apart.

After my husband and I began to date. Jessica would always criticize about me being

traumatized from my previous relationship, since I commented to her that I was not trying to

fully commit to my new relationship. I was a bit scared since I did not want to get hurt again, as

my previous boyfriend had broken my heart. She thought that, by me not moving in with my new

boyfriend after a year of dating made us into a non-serious relationship. Because Jessica and her

partner were living together, she would brag about it. Her bragging made me feel as if I had to

rush into my boyfriends home just to be on Jessicas level of a relationship. I knew that I wanted

more than just a dating life but I was in no hurry to put myself into a situation that I would regret.

After three years of dating, my boyfriend proposed. I was so thrilled; I quickly spread the

news with my family about my engagement. My family was so happy for me. I could not wait to

share the good news with my best friend. I called Jessica and tried to set up a date with her so I
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could tell her the great news. She would always come up with an excuse so we were not able to

meet in various occasions.

My fianc and I had decided to get married the following year. After a few weeks of

trying to meet with her, I was very anxious to tell her, since I chose Jessica to be my maid of

honor. One day I was having a great conversation on the phone with Jessica, we were making

jokes and laughing. So I finally decided to tell her over the phone. After I told Jessica, there was

a long silence. In what felt like the longest minute with an awkward silence, she responded in

these exact words; oh, okay cool I guess you finally got what you always wanted. I felt very

uncomfortable by her comment. Then I tried to be as brief as I could. I asked her if she would

like to be my maid of honor, she replied: yes of course and she became mute again. Had I said

something wrong? I was not expecting this reaction from her at all, since we were just having

such a great conversation a few minutes ago. We said our good byes and hung up.

-In the next few months that followed I did not hear from Jessica. I needed to start

planning for my wedding, but it was so much work I became overwhelmed. I really needed her

help and support so I called her to meet with her; surprisingly she did not show up,

As the months came closer to my wedding day, my fianc and sisters became more involved. I

never expected for a wedding to be so stressful and time consuming. Jessica continued to be in

the shadows, the thought of this was becoming annoying and frustrating. Why was she acting this

way? One day that I was talking to her I commented with sarcasm about her not showing up

various times. Jessica decided to show up the very next day and talked about one of her friends

that were also getting married, she went on about her friend. I was not sure if she was making all

of it up or if it was true, since she had a lot more to say about someone elses wedding. My friend

Sheyla who was with us at that time was so surprised to hear how Jessica had so much to say
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about her friends wedding plans. At the end of day, Sheyla said, well, she really made sure that

today was not about your wedding Sheyla questioned my decision for picking Jessica as my

maid of Honor. I felt a bit embarrassed. I knew that Jessica did care about me deep down or at

least that is what I have hoped to believe. I chose to keep Jessica as my maid of honor.

When the big day finally came, I was so happy to be married to my fianc. My friends

and family were all there. As I walked down the aisle holding my fathers arm and when the

music from the harp started playing it gave me goosebumps all over. Every single detail at the

wedding reception had finally come together, it was just as I had imagined from the beautiful

pink and white rose centerpieces to the lights that were put across the backyard like a ceiling of

stars along with the lounge that had a fire pit. As I was approaching the front of the aisle, I could

see my fianc standing waiting for me with teary eyes. The bridesmaids were all wearing the

dusty rose vintage style dresses. But Jessica was not there. It was a shock to see that she would

actually miss my very special day since she was my maid of honor. I did not let Jessicas absence

get to me.

The end of my wedding was approaching and Jessica finally showed up. She was not

wearing the bridesmaid dress. She walked up to the table where I was sitting with a few friends

and family. Jessica did not apologize for being late; she acted as if she made it on time. She

greeted everyone at the table and sat next to Sheyla and began to converse. I was really surprised

to see that she actually showed up and pretended like everything was just fine, I did not want to

let her presence upset me. I was heading back to my table when she approached me and said I

like your make up. It looks nice. Here is your wedding present. She handed me an envelope and

said that she had no time to go through my wedding registry. I asked her, What happened to

you? How come you were not here earlier? You were my maid of honor. Jessica replied with a
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concerned look on her face: I had to work. so I asked her, But you knew about the wedding

for a few months already and you didnt request the day off? Jessica said yes, but I decided to

do some extra hours. I was speechless! Couldnt you have worked any other day instead of

today? I asked. She then responded, I need to wash my hands. Can you excuse me? I went

back to my table and Jessica never came back. She only showed up for about thirty minutes and

left without saying good bye. When I finally confronted Jessica a few months later about what

happened on my wedding day, she had so many excuses for every single question. I no longer

had any interest in continuing our friendship, but she insisted that it was not her intentions to

have acted that way. I tried to understand her but it did not make any sense to me.

I have learned that no matter how well or how long people might think they know a

friend, they cannot depend on them for help or support, even if it is an aged friendship that has

gone through many challenges. Jessicas feelings of competition and maybe even jealousy had

crippled our friendship. I also learned from Jessica that some friends do not always support their

friends, which to me is what makes a friendship, a bond that we could grow from without having

to emotionally scar each other. I concluded that it is better to be happy with the people who want

to be in your circle of friendship, rather than to keep negative friends in ones life.