HONEST MANIFESTO

I, The Fuck you Care, bearing ID number 2012A2PSXXXP (fuck my life) am standing for the post of Hostel
Representative of This fucking Bhawan. The following are my manifesto points:

1. First Yearites Supply

A minimum of 3 first yearites with cycles(optional) will be provided to each wing so that you can
finish the things you are too lazy to do.
The tasks ranges from assignment submission to Room delivery from ANC\Connaught all the while
having interactions (ragging duh!) at your doorstep
2. End of year trunk shifting
Arrangements will be made for the shifting of the trunks to the allotted Bhawans (if you are a dualite
or better yet you get a semback) at the end of the year.
Air Lifting Services will be provided at the cheapest cost and the first 10 lucky customers also have
an option of teleportation
3. Collection of Raddi
Old newspapers, notebooks and other waste (Empty BP bottles and Cigarette cartons) will be
collected regularly and sold off. This money will be put for the maintenance of myself.
4. Creation of Facebook page RP BHAWAN14
A Facebook page will be created (because I can and its free) so that you can use it as an advertising
portal to sell your *brand new* items while you leave the campus
5. Previous Years Question Papers
You dont need them and you dont care anyway so I might as well delete this point but Ill just leave
it here to fill the space.
6. Academic Help
Arrangements will be made to wake up the inmates with a Cock1 so that they can attend at least one
tut and manage scrape the course with an E instead of NC.
7. Maintenance of QTs and Washrooms
It will be made sure that the grass in the QTs will be regularly trimmed and kept clean regularly like
a pornstars pussy
A magazine stand with a variety in Cuntents will be kept in washrooms along with a assortments of
tissues. The waterlogging problems will not be addressed.
8. A first aid kit
A first aid kit will be maintained on a regular basis with the necessary lubricants, condoms and other
important facilities.
Contraceptive pills will be made available at a cheaper price for your imaginary girlfriend.
9. Quilt Arrangement
Good quality quilts will be arranged to keep you winters so that you can fap your way into oblivion
at reasonable rates.
10. Bongs on Lease
A minimum of 5 Bongs will be made available for the inmates for lease on a rotation basis.
Fillings will be made available at cheaper prices during Mid-Sems and Comprees
11. Miscellaneous
Sarla and Vatika have agreed to provide Bottles in collaboration with Teka at 20% discount for all
the placement treats (if by chance you get placed).
A feedback portal will be created and will be never visited and all the mails will be forwarded to
spam folder automatically.
Congrats youve arrived here. Its been a fucking pleasure to waste your time

For the Gen BITSian

1Cock = male hen (you perverted piece of shit)