21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Entertainment susscaise now Assassin's Creed: EW review Michael Fassbender stars in this adaptation of the video game series. DARREN FRANICH @DARRENFRANICH POSTED ON DECEMBER 21, 2016 AT 10:51AM EDT KERRY BROWN hiipilew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! wna21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Assassin's Creed (2016) TYPE: Movie GENRE: Action, Adventure RELEASEDATE: 12/21/16 RUNTIME: 116 Minutes PERFORMER: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons DIRECTO} Justin Kurzel CURRENTSTATUS: In Season MPAA: PG-13 incoherence is an underrated virtue in popcorn films. Bad blockbuster movies are never dumb just because they're nonsense. They're dumb because they try so hard to explain their nonsense, weighing down even the most lightweight flights of fancy with the anvil-crushing logic of studio notes and nervous exposition. My favorite incoherent sequence in any terrible movie this year was the beginning of Warcraft, a goofy nine-minute symphony of pregnant orcs, neon-green slimegas, mountain-sized wormholes, relentless percussion, unexpected childbirth, and Paula Patton. If the whole movie had been that wild, it would've been...well, not half as good as Lord of the Rings, but at least half as fun as The Dark Crystal. Instead, the next two hours was all explaining, explaining, explaining the all-important mythology, mythology, mythology. Will pop culture never free us from these infernal mythologies?! Warcraft was 2016's first failed attempt to make a movie franchise out of a videogame franchise— not counting The Angry Birds Movie, which you already forgot about, or Ratchet & Clank, which you and | never heard of. Now along comes Assassin's Creed to make Warcraft look good. Justin Kurzel’s adaption of Ubisoft's infamously buggy game franchise can’t even thrill you with the possibility of mystery. It opens with a white-text-on-black-screen crawl explaining how Assassins fight Templars for the Apple of Eden. Don’t worry if this explanatory text makes you immediately confused; the main character of the film you're about to watch will spend the whole film gradually learning what the opening crawl said. It’s as if Luke Skywalker spent a whole movie learning what an Empire was. That main character is actually two people: Callum Lynch, a troublemaker on death row for the never-explained-and-inadvertently-hilarious crime of pimp-killing; and Aguilar, Callum’s lookalike sponsored stories 360@ Pozyezka do 1600 zI-juzw15 HologicQ2RevenuesUp3 Are ‘Micro-Mansions’ the minut! Percent, Beat Estimates Next Big Thing? credilo.com 360dx.com Mansion Global hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! ana21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review 1g Reasons to Ifyouownacomputer you —_—The 19 Most Intelligent Immigrate to the US from must try this game! Celebrities in Hollywood Europe Throne: Kingdom at War Peek Worthy GlobalUSAGreenCard ‘Sponsored Links by Get the latest TV news from filef{aliliiellt more EW Movies How the ‘Assassin's Creed’ movie reinvented a series staple ARTICLE "Assassin's Creed’: Marion Cotillard on her mysterious character ARTICLE ‘Assassin's Creed! reviews: Critics pan Michael Fassbender’s action flick more Movies hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! ana21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review The 1997 premiere of 'My Best Friend's Wedding’ Was a Time Nicole Kidman Through the Years hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! ang21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Here's the ‘audacious’ 9/11 joke from Kumail Nanjiani's 'The Big Sick’ Part of ‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ was shot during ‘The Last Jedi’ hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! sa21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Molly Shannon, Aubrey Plaza are nutty nuns in ‘The Little Hours' posters SEE MORE STORIES Comments 56 Comments EW.com ® Login © Recommend 20 — & Share Sort by Best e Join the discussion... = e alientraveller + 6 months ago Hey now, Syndicate and Black Flag were really good. ans Reply » Share» e@ Dark Cider the Talkback © alientraveller - 6 months ago. <=> Yes they were. Whilst I don't doubt the MOVIE is shite, casually (and condescendingly) dismissing the games referenced is the height of lazy, pretentious writing. 40 \ © Reply » Share > @ thomas wayne + atentaveller «8 months ago <= Lagree. 3A v © Reply » Share» @) ve hiipilew comimovies!2016/122 lassassins-creed-ou-raviow! ang21002017 Assassin's Creed: EW review Sq, This moron declared No Man's Sky as one of the best games o1 2016, His opinions on anything are worthless. 33.0 v + Reply + Share» Earl Chatterton 4 Leo « 6 months ago <= Maybe so, but no one else is saying anything good about Assassin's Creed either. 10 A + Reply + Share > Kamelito Toe > Earl Chatterton + 5 months ago > sit safe to say the first 3 letters of the title of the movie enough to describe it? Av + Reply » Share > @ eee ens sons 299 cee BY the way, Jeremy Irons was in Dungeons & Dragons, Pink Panther 2, Eragon, The Time Machine... It's not like his career is flawless or something like that 7A ~ + Reply + Share» Darthmanwe + Chocho en lata * 6 months ago <= The Time Machine was a fun movie, damn. 2A v + Reply » Share> Chocho en lata + 6 months ago Thaven’t seen the movie, but Syndicate didn’t suck; it was a good game much better than Unity. 7A \ + Reply + Share > @ dere cider the Talkback + chocho en ata + 6 months ago And Black Flag was fantastic 7A v + Reply » Share > e Henrique Rodrigues + 6 months ago ice. OF diss the movie as much as you want, but don't talk about the games or the books because you clearly know nothing about them. 18 v ~ Reply « Share» Qe mentee Dang. Still gonna watch, = 5A v = Reply » Share> 's Fassssssssssssssbender! TorreyAnderson 4 Jenn Nixon + 6 months ago << ITwilltoo. «once it's on Xfinity for free. TA © Reply + Share» Jenn Nixon # TorreyAnderson * 6 months ago <=> lol yup! hitpilew comimovies!2016/122 lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! ma21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Pye repy + orate» 0006 - 6 months ago This coming from Entertainment Weekly that even gave the Ghostbusters remake a good review. If Beyoncé was in this movie EW would have given it an A++ since all EW does is kiss her butt. 8A ~ + Reply + Share» Paul 4 OD0G + § months ago <=> hey, ghostbusters is good. Av + Reply + Share > ODOG 4 Paul + 5 months ago @@™ Ya the 1984 version :) 1A © Reply + Share» schneeadle 6 months ago since there is another movie titled "Creed" maybe you should stop calling the AC movie and game franchise Creed too?! And just be you didnt care about the plot of the AC games, that doesnt mean nobody cared about them or that they are not (most) important. For example: If you paid attention to the game plots, you would know why the Apple of Eden holds the genetic code of free will and how Abstergo will/can use the apple. Yes, I agree the movie failed to explain those important things more clearly and I agree ‘that the movie isnt the greatest, but your arguments are just ridiculous! 6A v + Reply » Share > Razzbender + 6 months ag0 I saw it a few hours ago. I can't remember much. 6A v= Reply » Share» e@ Kimmel 4 Razzbender + 6 months ago <= Lucky you 3.4 © + Reply + Share» @ _Rezzbendor + kimmel + 6 months ago —™ o ay Reply « Share > @ _ tion in the games. Joshua Ward » 6 months ago this is proof why you dont let 2 bit movie critics seen fan favorites based on games. of course he thinks the plot is dumb because he thought the plot of the games was stupid as well 3.4 ~© + Reply + Share» @ _*s1Giga8y - Joshua Ward - 6 monts ago <=> The movie is still stupid, and incoherent to the people who don't know the games. And the worst offend is, the makers thought people have ANY interest in the present, while nobody plays AC for the present events. Ever since Black Flag hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! ana21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review it doesn’t even have a nemed protagonist. This movie could have been good without the present plotline, but since it was there, and what's worse, it was the main plotline with the two third of the screentime, it was awful. V+ Reply + Share» 1A Joshua Ward + sgiGiggsy + 6 months ago it's supposed to be like the 1st and 2nd(trilogy) games, because that had equal parts of present day events mixed with ancient ones. Idk why the reviewer decided to see a movie for a game they hadnt even played or heard the plot of. Av = Reply + Share» sgtGiggsy > Joshua Ward + 5 months ago ‘The first maybe, but the second? What exactly happened in the present in AC2? Lucy rescued Desmond, they got to the warehouse, Desmond tested the abilities he learned from animusing Ezio, then... then the story ended, and he beat up the ‘Templars that found the safchouse. That took about one and half hour in a game that took around twenty hours to beat completely. Brotherhood was pretty much the same. They arrived in Monteriggioni, established power to their machines, then at the end they went after the relic. That also took like an hour or so, while Brotherhood also had a gametime around twenty hours. And Relevations? Desmond had about ten, or fifteen minutes in it. He found himself in that middle world, he spoke sometimes with Subject(Idon'trememberhisnumber) and that's all. After the first one, the only episode where the present plot meant anything was the third episode where unfortunately they put emphasis on Desmond's story. And nobody played Assassin's Creed for Desmond. It’s not a coincidence that AC for most people still means Ezio in the first place, Altair and Edward in the second, 1A y + Reply + Share» Joshua Ward 4 sgtGiggsy « § months ago yeah that's what I mean in the AC2 there is more present day assassins vs templar storylines, so one can see that the fight between them is still valid Av = Reply + Share > sgtGiggsy > Joshua Ward + 5 months ago More compared to what exactly? It doesn't take up more than 10% of gametime in AC2, while the Assassin's Creed movie had about 65% present scenes in the playtime. It was an awful-AWFUL decision. They could have completly ditch the present plot, and nobody would've bat an eye, but they chose to put emphasis on it, and that alone was enough to cement the fail. “ + Reply + Share > hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! son921062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review @ _ -2P+y Lourenco - Joshua Ward» 6 montis ago <== The plot of the games isn't stupid. It's far fetched sure, but not stupid. He hasn't even played the games so he shouldn't even comment on them at all. To say they were all buggy shows he knows nothing. Yes, Unity was bad. The rest were just fine. Av = Reply + Share > CJ Ramos + 6 months ago This was a poor review, did he even watch the movie? Just because you didn't get the philosophy within the story, doesn't mean the rest of us are as dumb as you. If you prefer movies that spoon feed you a plot, stick to watching Disney movies. Seriously, you're ruining it for the rest of us. 3A + Reply + Share» @ _=stGigaey 4 cu Ramos «6 montns age <=> First, there wasn't much philosophy within the story, as we didn't really get the Assassins know. Second, I spoke to many people, who don't know anything about AC lore, and they got lost in the movie several times. It's pretty much the same as with the Warcraft movie, but at least Warcraft was faithful to the source center. The present plot. Nobody plays AC for the present plot. It takes up like 5% of the gametime, and even that is way too much. 1A v + Reply + Share» Janey Lourenco » 6 months ago Thaven't seen the movie yet, so T can't comment. But to say the whole franchise of games was buggy shows you know nothing. I have played all of them up until Black Flag, have been busy playing other things since, but have the game. Anyways, never had any real bugs in any of the first 5 beside silly little minor things that are normal in just about every game out there. Of course I played them on a PC, not a console, which I hear is much buggier, but can't say because I never played them on a console. So obviously you really know nothing about the games, just what other people have told you. You're either someone who doesn't play games and likes to judge them because of that reason, or never played the AC games, which means you shouldn't comment on them since you know nothing, Just like I did about the movie since I didn't see it. But hey, you're a critic. Not like you get paid to know things about something you know nothing about, am I right? 1A v + Reply + Share» Lee + 6 months ago Tnever played the games, but I thought the preview was interesting. I went to the movie and enjoyed it very much, enough so that if they make a sequel, I will go to see that as well, It even made me want to try out the games. 1A v + Reply » Share» Jocelyn « 6 months ago ‘Well, do you want mystery or do you want things explained? You go from one paragraph not understanding why things are the way they are, to complaining about hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ow-roviow! sno21062017, Assassin's Creed: EN review ‘too much expositionin the next. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but if you're going to critique it, at least be consistent with your complaints. Also, you seem to have an inherent bias due to the fact that you dislike the plot of the games in the first place, so of course you're going to dislike the movie. To anyone reading this: If it's worth anything, as a fan of the games I thought this movie was very well done. 14 © + Reply + Share» Janey Lourenco + Jocelyn + 6 months ago <= [ noticed that too. Not a very good critic at all. Av = Reply + Share > Juz + 6 months ago Biggest problem of todays people. ‘They stopped thinking for themselves, thats y u have these idiotic critics around. People think, they just need to watch a movie and everything should be presented to them on a silver plate, Just ignorance. Like most people think, food cooks itself nowadays. Dumb.. 1A © © Reply + Share» Jagmarky + 6 months ago This reviewer can go **** himself, Ezio's story at the very least, especially in Assassin's Creed 2, was great. 1A v © Reply + Share> Mitchell Davis « 6 months ago The A.C games were mostly very good, but I could tell from the trailer that this was going to be a C.G bust. 1A © Reply + Share» all - 6 months ago What a condescending prick. Bet you like ’em Marvel movies just fine, huh? 20 © + Reply + Share» @ scott > att 6 montis ago <=> Why do people take movie critiques so personally? So he didn't like the movie. Maybe you will. Who cares whether or not he likes Marvel, or is this all a conspiracy by Big Marvel to trash all the other movies so theirs do better? TA v + Reply » Share > Kevin #all 6 months ago This movie is going to be a flop. 6A © + Reply + Share» hiipiiew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! vana21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review Dark Cider the Talkback + Kevin « 6 months ago <=> Indeed. 11 mil opening wknd. Av + Reply + Share > The Grinch 4 all - 6 months ago Usually he does, but most Marvel movies are actually good. Even the trailer was incoherent and terrible. I was all prepared to enjoy a Fassbender led movie franchise until I saw it and know I can't get far enough away from it. The video game movie curse continues. 2A v + Reply » Share > ‘Toby * 6 months ago As soon as I saw that this film used a time-travel plot device, I knew it would suck. Why not just have it take place in the 15th century? 1A Y + Reply + Share > beerdm3 > Toby » 6 months ago it's based on a video game 5A |v = Reply » Share > @ _221Gig08y 4 boorsms + 6 months ago <=> A video game, in this particular device doesn't have a major role. Nobody plays AC for the present plotline, and the 95% of gametime is already in the past. As the present has no effect on the past, cutting the present plotline would actually make the games better. And what did the filmmakers do? They put the fucking present plot in the center. 1A v © Reply + Share» Tanbin Islam Siyam 4 Toby - 6 months ago There are lots of ways to educate yourself about Assassin's Creed series, eg. youtube. 1A \ + Reply » Share » Janey Lourenco 4 Toby + 6 months ago Itisn’t time travel. He's seeing memories through an ancestor's eyes. Not that time travel ic nhoranthr a had thine Nantor Wha malas it marl inet Fine SUBSCRIBE P fv hiipiiew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! sang21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hiipilew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! wna21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! 181921062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! 18921062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hitpilew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! wig21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hiipilew comimovies!2016/122lassassins-creed-ou-roviow! sano21062017, Assassin's Creed: EW review hiipiiew comimovies!2016/122tlassassins-creed-ou-roviow! sano