EX

CL
US
IV
E
Exclusive e-guide 27 The Best of Evil Knievils Diaries

The Best
of Evil
Knievels
Diaries
A look back at Simon
Cawkwells utterances
through 2013
 Exclusive e-guide 27 The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries

Contents Page Introduction

January 02
In this unique compendium written by the inimitable
February 04
Simon Cawkwell aka Evil Knievel, we take a look back
March 06 at his prognostications during 2013 from his writings
April 08 in the Evil Knievel Diairies. He certainly pulls no punch
May 10 and while frequently controversial, it certainly makes
June 12 for entertaining reading
July 14

August 16

September 18

October 20

November 22

December 24
 Exclusive e-guide 27
JANUARY 13
FastJet (FJET) has lifted significantly away
from the 4p placing area and on pretty hearty
volume too. Just guessing, but this stock has
the potential to take on cult status.
Range Resources (RRL)keeps easing down. It
is now 3.2p. There is no reason to cover shorts.
Elsewhere, I bought Gulf Keystone
(GKP)andLeni Gas & Oil (LGO). Different
reasons of course, but the pursuit of profit was,
and remains, the driver.
I suspect Heseltine is wrong over the effect on
British business and jobs, were we to withdraw
from the EU. And, if Sir Richard Branson says
that withdrawal is bad, to me its good! Do not
forget: all Europhiles have an obligation to lie if,
in their judgement, lying assists the ever closer
union that the EU is supposed to be. Truly, they
are hoist with their own petard.
Citron Research last night did another hatchet
job onIntuitive Surgical (ISRG)listed on
Nasdaq and whose business is keyhole surgery
robot designers and manufacturers.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 02
Amazingly, the stock went up from circa $490
it is now about $515. Apparently, Lazards are
hard at promoting this stock. However, read
Citrons piece and short this stock for 2013
Citron are going for a $300 target to start with.
Volume is huge every day and the borrow is
not a problem. I expect some will argue that
there is product liability cover. But such cover
does not secure profits on future planned sales
and reputational damage is huge.
Burberry features Eddie Redmayne as a
pin-up boy. He also features in Les Mis (see
below), but neither of these instantly
recognised features explain the extraordinary
buoyancy of Burberrys (BRBY) share price,
now 1,370p. And as forMulberry (MUL),
currently 1,290p, I can only say Cor Blimey!
Orwellian update:I am told that a man in his
early twenties in a fund management business
received an email from his father requesting
him to own up on behalf of Dad to a speeding
offence. He agreed to do so by return email.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
This was not very wise but, no doubt, a I offer you an example: As I think I must be
consequence of his unquestioning loyalty to kind, I ought to save myself from a bind.Its
his father. Not long after, his firms compliance tolerable once or twice. But after an hour (160
unit, foolishly chasing another matter of total minutes all told) it gets really wearisome,
insignificance (I wont detail it I just ask that especially since everybody (theyre all at it)
you take my word for it), alighted upon this wears a sad face at all times. I leave it to you
email exchange and took it upon themselves and your tenner to decide!
to report the young man to the police. Dad is
pleading guilty and will lose his important job Finally, do bear in mind that 82.7% of all
as a result. As matters stand, the young man statistics are made up on the spot.
will be out of the finance industry the police
are determined that justice will prevail. Is it not
great to be ruled by people like these
compliance officers?!
Film review:If you feel like going toLes Mis,
give it a miss! The summary comment is that it
is cheaper to snooze at home on ones chaise
longue than to try to settle into a typically small
10 Cineworld seat! However, if you must go,
I warn that you have to endure a persistent
stream of really banal lyrics to explain the story
and reasons.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 03
 Exclusive e-guide 27
FEBRUARY 13
Just how does HMG do it? I mean we are now
warned by HMGs Food Standards Agency not
to eat Findus Lasagne since it containshorse.
The truth is that there is nutritionally nothing
wrong with this lasagne whatsoever. Besides, it
is delicious particularly if youre sat
comfortably watching Coronation Street
No, the truth is that some jobsworth has yet
to stick his nose in and trace the origin of the
horses in question (a typical jobsworth
quality control question would be: did you,
Dobbin, honestly have a happy childhood
being stroked and trotting on Galway sands?).
Since he hasnt done this, he has the effrontery
to say that there is risk (where of course the
truth is that wherever one looks in life there is
always risk it is simply a matter of degree) in
this pursuit! I expect that now tons of perfectly
good food will be thrown away. This merely
supports my view that whenever HMG says
there is a shortage of money in the UK, that we
are in fact being lied to.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 04
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
This is the equivalent of 0.06p which strongly
contrasts to the current 0.25p. Still a screaming
sell.
And as AVNs cash generation is already so
paltry, the interest will be an added burden.
I note the net debt has ballooned a further
43.3m in the past six months, to 141.5m.Im
The truth is that when HMG ever goes
Hibu (HIBU)again pointed out that its remaining short.
anywhere near money it wastes the stuff.
reconstruction is imminent. When the deal is
Incidentally, the day to get worried is when
detailed, these shares will surely be a lot lower Memory lane:Pursuit Dynamics (PDX)
Finduss lasagne is entirely comprised of
than the current 0.38p. I sold again at 0.38p. announced its further decline to death
reconstituted jobsworths God alone knows
There is no borrow. yesterday whilstRare Earths Global (REG)
what chemicals go into their brains. I know, I
announced that it is behaving ineffectually.
know, that is on the presumption that they
Back in the wagers department, I garnered the Theres a couple of surprises. Not.
have actually got brains
following comment from an informed
analyst onAvanti (AVN)which reported Since there is nothing much else to do, I have
On the admin front, I find that I have been
yesterday:Aside from the typical fluffy backed Borussia Dortmund for 35,000 at
grotesquely overcharged for stock
language, this time about nameless major tonights Champions League match. Some
borrowing for many months. There really ought
telco customers and sales momentum may be interested to learn that Borussia was
to be some code of conduct laid down here.
building well etc, I can see nothing to change the Latin for Prussia.
At the time when borrowing is first considered,
my view on AVN.
the rate may be x but it surely remains the
Finally, I am not an impresario manque. But my
lenders/facilitators obligation to replace such
AVNs HYLAS 1 satellite has been swinging brother and his wife attended the Royal
stock with cheaper stock as and when and if it
around up there for over 24 months now and Festival Hall on Saturday and endured five and
becomes available.
its still generating sod all revenue. And the a half hours of a silent 1927 film, Napoleon,
authenticity of that, which is reported, is sketchy accompanied by a musical score composed
On the wagers front, I shortedGMA Resources
at best. So how it reckons HYLAS 2 (which has by Carl Davis. There were three intervals, two
(GMA). This is a total farce since the market
been floating around for half that time)will of half an hour and one of an hour and half.
persists in looking for a completely impossible
report material revenue in H2 is lost on me. Yes, thats right: eight hours all told. Attendees
miracle GMA itself even stresses that this is
should surely have been awarded long term
the case. There will be a 500 for 1 consolidation
Further, the service cost of all that debt will campaign service medals when exiting for the
on 1st March, leaving the stock at, say, 30p.
now kick in. final time.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 05
04
 Exclusive e-guide 27
MARCH 13
The socialist, Lord Turner, of the FSA thinks
there is too much gambling going on in
dealing rooms. Just what does he think young
men think or should think as prices gyrate? I
wont list here what goes through his mind
in the course of an average day. But practical
thought is not one of them. I would just remind
the noble lord (incidentally, I insert the noble
by way of a little joke) that the FSA in effect
stole my 550,000. This makes me anti the lot
of em. Nothing new there, though.
Today is the final day of Cheltenham 2013.
I am showing a profit of about 30,000 on
the meeting so far (it could be worse), and I
backed Sir Des Champs at 6/1 for todays Gold
Cup directly after his win at Cheltenham last
year. This was too early since the price sat there
for months during which anything adverse you
might care to think of occurred. However, he is
still available today at 4/1. The market
discounts his chance on the grounds that he is
not quite good enough. I doubt this view.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 06
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
Last week, I promised you non-stop sex. So
now you get it: for this column delivers. I was
due to go to Uruguay with my wife at the end
Its quite simple: when one goes into a strip joint
a woman appears in front of one and takes off
her clothes. Your 30 has been spent.But
of February at the behest ofOrosur (OMI). This allegedly atCupid (CUP)they felt their
I reckon that his trainer, W. Mullins, has timed
got deferred to April and even that has been offering was not sufficient to get the 30. So
SDCs challenge to perfection. SDC stays,
cancelled. Hence coitus interruptus. I initially it is argued they arranged fake responses to
jumps and likes the ground. Further, he loves
feared bad news but, apparently, this is not the applicants over the internet for women, such
Cheltenham. Nuff said.
case. So I bought another 100,000 this time that the applicants thought they were getting
at 36p. I had slightly resolved not to buy any somewhere. Thus stimulated, they paid their
Turning to trivia, I remark that yesterday I sold
more since my family is the largest single 30 so as to get the contact details. Very
my final 125,000 ofTrinity Mirror (TNI).It has
private shareholder perhaps 2.5m shares. shortly afterwards, these women
been a real whizzer since I bought 1.4m at just
But I just had to. disappeared. Indeed some may even have
under 30p on average perhaps a year ago, and
been men typing as if they were women (the
have released them back into the wild as the
Late last week I took a conference call from applicant got the photo of a woman to
stock rose and rose. Yesterdays results
Richard Murray who is chairman of Avesco accompany the text). Allegedly, even computer
statement left me feeling a little uncertain. But
(AVS) along with his finance director John robots, presented as women, issued responses
the clincher was the revelation of arrests in
Christmas. My purpose was to ensure that on behalf of Cupid. As far as I am aware,
terms of Operation Weeting. These will hang
shareholders would get tax-efficient relatively few computers boast breasts.
over the stock for many months to come. I
distributions of the 140p a share special
have made 750,000 and am not complaining.
dividend to be paid when Disney cough up. I Finally, heard on the street, I had fallen asleep
just do not go along with 45% marginal rates by then but my wife says that, on the Graham
I sold 200,000Xcite (XEL)yesterday at 124p.
of tax. I am delighted to report that the board Norton show a new word for cool has been
This may well have been too early. But I have
are on the case and we merely get shafted for launched. This is Dench (as in Judy). I find this
nicked 40,000 profit which is a good thing
28% CGT. However, I could not help myself and hard to believe since it rhymes with drench and
to do.
remarked that Mrs Christmas must be stench. Well see. Apparently, if you are really
delighted even though Christmas had come dench, then you are said to be Well dench.
early. I took the silence at the other end as
agreement.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 07
 Exclusive e-guide 27
APRIL 13
A PR friend of Stephen Dattels, who
promoted/floated West African Minerals
(WAFM), says that Dattels is not a fool and that
WAFM are cheap. But a contact of mine
stresses that this is a pretty fanciful view. Whom
do I believe? Well, to give you a hint, I have
given up on declarations of friendship in the
PR sense. They mean nothing. Just think about
it: was Lord Bell really a friend of Berezovsky?
Stay short of WAFM at 50p.
Barclays (BARC)have apparently spent 17m
on a review of its corporate culture. This is at
least one hundred times the required sum and
also proves that the directors of Barclays are
completely mad. I expect that some oik from
the FSA said they ought to do it. Those whom
the Gods would destroy
Things are hotting up in the land ofBitcoins.
I will not here recite the essence of this scam
which is along the same lines as the US
dollar save that the Bitcoins promoters claim
that only 21 million will ever be, and indeed
have been, issued (a claim indeed).
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 08
However, you should Google this one and get
up to speed. I have suggested to ETX to start
making a market in this one. There will, believe
it or not, be serious volume.
I have bought 50,000Juridica (JIL)at 92.5p.
Juridica finances litigations for a cut of the
proceeds. It is valued at around 100m in the
market as against tnav of 150m. This latter
fact alone demands a second look.
If I have said it once I have said it a hundred
times: footballers are constantly offered fruit
and vegetables as their main diet to the
exclusion of things they like such as rare steak.
The result is that, inevitably, a chap like Suarez,
a footballer to his tooth tips, experienced a
primaeval urge to bite Ivanovics arm in the
closing minutes as we saw yesterday. Suarez
just felt a protein deficiency coming on and
decided he had to do something. It could
happen to anyone.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
I would only add that had Suarez succeeded in Finally, I developed my small accountancy
biting out a chunk of Ivanovics arm, Ivanovic practice by listening to people describe their
would himself have experienced a protein small company business problems. These were
deficiency. A case for the Human Bites always personal rather than commercial
legislation. problems. So I just love watching Alex Polizzis
The Hotel Inspector. She has an unerring knack
Back on stocks, it seems possible that I might of getting the opportunity to look into the
recover some of my losses onComs (COMS). conduct of people who are wilfully, unworldly
This penny stock has advanced sharply on the wallies. And unapologetic with it. Well worth an
news that it has landed a 15m contract over idle hour. Besides, Ms Polizzi has great tits.
the next two years. Given Comss
capitalisation of 9m at 2.5p and on the
assumption that this contract will not be the
first of its size and scope, the idea that this
stock cannot go sharply higher is silly. As ever,
delivery must be demonstrated.
Margaret Thatchersfuneral has been
described as a political funeral. It is, of course,
nothing of the sort: it is the funeral of a
politician who, beyond any doubt, has been the
greatest prime minister of my lifetime. I shall be
sad.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 09
 Exclusive e-guide 27
MAY 13
From my post out bag today:
well over a hundred hours on correspondence and
1st May 2013
Martin Wheatley Esq
Financial Conduct Authority
Dear Mr Wheatley,
You should be aware that somewhere in your
organisation there is a file headed Total Nutters. I
am sure that I am in it. After all, I have lost count of
the number of letters I have sent to the FCA or the
FSA (there is no difference) over the years which
begin, Dear Sir, As you know, I think you are
generally pretty hopeless so that there is little
point in my writing but I must advise
My attitude is unchanged save that I now classify
the FCA as viciously useless. I have good reason.
For, as a result of the abject failure to do anything
worthwhile (an FSA/FCA speciality), I got f*cked
over for 550,000 at DirectShareDeal.
Here I could see the fraud going on and detailed
it to the FSA/FCA and sat back in the belief (God,
just how idiotic I was) that rapid action would take
place. Nine months later the theft of my money
occurred where it should never have occurred, and
would not have
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 10
I have since spent circa 20,000 on legal fees and
thought that it would be a good idea to buy declared that I, an execution only client, cannot
all to no effect. I eventually received a letter from Sir
Anthony Holland, the Complaints Commissioner
for the FSA, advising that he understands why and
how I am angry, but that there is no basis of legal
action against the FSA. That proved my point: the
FSA/FCA is pretty hopeless.
So, in a sense, I have to be a prize nincompoop
to write to the FSA/FCA yet again. But I ask you
whether, having read the exchange of emails I now
enclose, you consider that the FSA/FCA is mad
and maddening or that Charles Stanley are
misinforming me. Its one or the other and, I
suppose, quite possibly both.
IIn essence, Charles Stanley, through whom I have
dealt for more than twenty years and whom I
respect for honesty, were asked by me, pursuant to
a rumour as to the wisdom of my doing so, to buy
circa 100,000 worth of ordinaries in a
London-quoted Japanese Investment Trust. I paid
0.5% brokerage, a figure I have had in place since
before most of your staff were born.
However, being greedy and warming to my task, I
warrants in Japanese Investment Trusts. I had in
mind a further 100,000 order. This idea on my
part is quite crafty since in a bull market I have often
observed sellers of warrants just getting out since
they have nothing else to do. In short, the warrant is
often artificially depressed in price. The question is:
which warrant or warrants does one go for?
Here I had a masterstroke. Why not ask the
Japanese Investment Trust specialist at Charles
Stanley as to whether he has any views? I would
allow for the fact that he is probably not conversant
with the Black Scholes valuation model, but that he
would have a list of such warrants and an
approximate idea of the valuations and, of course,
an idea of size in the market.
This is hardly a breath-taking masterstroke on my
part. Its really just native cunning such as that
evinced by a cornered rat or a rampant dick. Put
another way, this is pure urgency hard at work.
Please forgive my use of hard here. For I accept
that its use is all too readily regarded as coarse
and I know just what sensitive souls comprise the
staff of the FSA/FCA.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
It then became interesting. For Charles Stanley
speak to the Japanese Investment Trust specialist
since, pursuant to the Retail Distribution Review,
that is quite impossible.
I immediately sensed that what they were/are
really after is more money. After all, a warrant gives
you all the bang (there I go again) for your buck
for perhaps one quarter of the outlay of cash. And,
ever the initiative-riddled boy scout, I upped the
brokerage rate on offer to 1%. And astonishingly
the Charles Stanley answer remains No pursuant
to the RDR rules. Please tell me what this
RDR-based/-originated rule is. Ill bet my last five
million pounds that it cannot exist.
Yours sincerely,
Simon Cawkwell
Tips readers: I am on tenterhooks. Keep voting
UKIP.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 11
 Exclusive e-guide 27
JUNE 13
First Group (FGP)s price continues in the
doldrums. Even after the 615m raised in the
rights issue, it is far from clear that the business,
although stabilised, is attractive at 123p.
I am not an expert on fixed interest investments,
but it is clear that long term interest rates are
rising at long, long last. I do not know when
it is wise to open shorts here, but one should
surely get stuck-in in the not too distant future.
Do not forget that this is a really liquid market
and that there is the potential to make a really
large gain.
On the forthcoming weeks examination list
isStobart Group (STOB). I am aware that the
directors of Stobart agreed to buy Carlisle
Airport for 14m when it had been bought
privately by two other directors some years
previously for 2m. This is not of itself
unlawful. But it is unusual. All comment
gratefully received.
One of the vendor directors, Andrew Tinkler,
has, I am told, 100+ racehorses in training.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 12
This constitutes a management problem which
must severely impact on his time available to
manage Stobart. Leaving aside the cost of
these horses to buy (5m?) there is the small
problem of training fees of the order of
200,000 a month. This must be fairly
exhausting since betting winnings and sales to
breeders are most unlikely to make serious
inroads. Finally, Stobart advertise on the
bottoms of jockeys. Talk about Bottoms Up!
Mulberry (MUL)sEmma Hill, the designer of
the Alexa handbag, has departed. Who
follows? I have no idea. Does it matter? No,
since the idea of attributing hundreds of
millions of pounds valuation to a handbag
design is as silly as I just do not know what.
Anyway, Mulberry reports/updates tomorrow.
Amazingly, there is still time to sell above 500p
where I think it is going.
I am out of my ASOS (ASC) short, but I did Cupid (CUP) have updated the market. I am
so only reluctantly. This morning it is up again.
Golly, all the rules on gravity have been
suspended. Its just not fair.
Poor oldHester. Not merely was his pay cut,
despite his complying with his contract, but he
gets the sack because he cannot find enough
SMEs that want to borrow money and to whom
he is prepared to lend. For his prudence,
surely the lead quality required of a banker, he is
punished. Mind you, Osborne will force a lend-
ing programme at his peril: there is no point in
lending money on bad risks, as Osborne may
shortly find out and for which the taxpayer will
pay.
Avesco (AVS)has duly announced the big
payout, only it has been cut from 140p to 110p
and is deferred until the autumn.
Unsurprisingly, the price has retreated from
220p to 205p. Equally unsurprisingly, it is a buy
again since the finances of this business are
now rock solid whilst the business itself is
going well.
surprised that they have reaffirmed that they
will have 10m cash as at 30th June, but the
rest of the RNS would dampen the ardour of
even the most persistent stud.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
As before and for the foreseeable future, this
company is not investment grade material
above 20p.
Ken Brooks ofEnvironmental Recycling
Technology (ENRT)yesterday announced that
he thinks next years figures will be more
exciting figures. This will not be difficult: this
company lost Goodness knows what on sales
of 40,000 and overheads of the order of 4m,
surely making less exciting figures impossible.
Given that tangible net liabilities are now of the
order of 1m and set against a capitalisation of
8m, I must remark that Mr Brooks is the most
persistent non-performer that I can recall.
Finally, I closed mylong bond shortstoo early.
At the time, I reckoned trousering 100,000+
profit a good wheeze. But I was incontinent
and now regret my lack of self-control. These
interest rates are still on the way up.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 13
 Exclusive e-guide 27
JULY 13
I grant you that emerging markets are deeply
suspected nowadays although I hasten to
add that I can hardly further comment that that
is in contrast to our own. But the fact remains
thatBeximco Pharma (BXP)is still trading at
17p-18p in London as against a Dhaka price
today of 59.5 or Taka of 51.3p. I promise you
that, one day, this gap will close. I suggest you
bet on the London price going up to meet that
of Dhaka rather than bet on a decline of
Dhakas to that of London. Beximco Pharmas
business is going gangbusters.
Naibu (NBU)is capitalised at 70p at 38m. This
contrasts with tnav of 105m. And EPS of the
order of 50p for 2013; repeat: 50p. The trouble
is that nobody trusts Chinese accounting. Even
so, there are limits and this may be one. I
yesterday picked up a smidgin of stock at 58p
in a c.10m share placing arranged by Daniel
Stewart: the vendors were early stage
investors and one of the buyers was Naibus
boss as to 1.8m shares.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 14
Naibus biggest trade is running shoes or what
you or I might regard as trainers. The general
business is categorised as sportswear such as
T-shirts and so forth. I cant see anything
inherently suspicious about it. Further, the
balance sheet looks rock solid and liquid.
Daniel Stewart introduced Naibu to AIM about
fifteen months ago at 145p. At the time I
declined an offer of stock since I had had China
right up to there. But, seemingly, the company
is bonging along with valuation figures which
look extremely attractive at around 70p.
It is true in a sense that those naughty
fellowsSerco (SRP)andG4S (GFS)have no around 100m with a sort of tnav of 40m at
interest in checking that they are not billing
excess amounts. After all, they are sellers and
not buyers. However, one would have thought
that each invoice submitted to HMG could be
and indeed should have been accompanied
by a vast print out audit trail identifying each
detainee affected and the period for which the
service was supplied. This would have allowed
even a mildly effective audit programme to
have been applied.
But there is no escaping the reputational
damage the naughty billers have now incurred.
This will not lightly be brushed aside.
The market can behave really curiously.
Take Zoltav Resources (ZOL). Here, Arkadiy
Abramovich, Romans son, has a shell
company with some inconsequential
investments c. 300,000 worth. It has also
announced that it will acquire 22m worth (for
the purposes of the deal) Koltogur oilfield in
western Siberia, and further shares will be
issued to Arkadiys personal investment
company, worth (for the purposes of the deal)
13m cash. This will leave Zoltav capitalised at
result of a boiler room approach and
most.
However, all this strikes me as total fantasy.
Roman can, if he wants, chuck lolly at his sons
ventures share price rather than an oilfield or
two to be held privately.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
But where does this get Family Abramovich?
Precisely nowhere I would have thought. There
is no stock to borrow, so the share price is
essentially rigged. But rigging costs money
and will eventually yield Roman may have
a dynastic tendency, but he is definitely not a
prat. My only doubt is timing.
Whilst on a gold mining share price, the level
ofRandgold (RRS), now 41, seems fancifully
high in relation to comparable miners.
Finally, I heard the other day that some ladys
husband had utterly foolishly sploshed their life
savings of the order of 230,000 as the
committed suicide. I wish it were possible to
send some money to the fraudsters bank, wait
for them to come and pick the money up and
then take them outside and thrash them within
an inch of their lives. That would teach them.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 15
 Exclusive e-guide 27
AUGUST 13
The new ISA rules are in force whereby AIM
stocks can be inserted even if they are not
quoted on another exchange. This undeniably
creates a support for AIM in general which has
been poleaxed by the frauds and
over-promotions of recent years.
I am shortOcado (OCDO)since I still think it
must be easy for an established buying
authority (i.e. Tesco, Sainsburys etc.) to
undercut Ocado where the delivery machine
is simply the job of an intelligent management
team assembled in a few weeks. However, I am
not so sure in one sense: Sainsburys strikes me
as a complete shower. For instance, they are
pricing their goods not at the price indicated
on the online order pad, but at the price
applying when they deliver on the date the
shopper chooses. Apparently, this is in
accordance with their terms and conditions. As
far as I am concerned, they can pull the other
one. Sainsburys may be incompetent, but they
are not entitled to emerge as abject spivs.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 16
I got jolly lucky when trousering upwards of $3
an ounce profit on silver. Every ounce of my
not inconsiderable body demanded that I
double up rather than sell. Fortunately the
sensible side of me won through and not
merely did I put the money in the tin, I went
short at $23. So far, so good.
Thegoldprice divided by the silver price now
stands at 61.5. Some say that 63 is the warning
number whilst others claim that 61 is more in
point. The rise is caused by a rush for security
and thus presages a sharp decline in equities. I
thought you ought to know.
I backed a100/1 winnerlast week at York. This
was a fluke in a sense. But it was essentially
based on red hot inside information. I very
rarely try for these long odds but this is, I think,
the first time I have ever succeeded in fifty
years of trying. I should probably give up while
the going is good. Anyway, this took my
winnings on York to 150,000 and they stem a
rotten year for punting.
On Saturday evening, my wife and I attended a
birthday bash atWisley Golf Club. I had never
been there before. And for those who do not
know this set up, there is a Lutyensesque club
house of chunky solidity. I should think that
membership sets you back quite a few bob.
But I imagine the inside information garnered
at the bar would make it worth the dough!
I boughtKentz (KENZ)at 570p since, I am
assured, there is a further bid or two to come.
Amecs at c. 570p is cheeky. The take out is
700p.
I also bought Victoria Oil and Gas (VOG) at
1.35p, pursuant to a chat with Kevin Foo, the
boss and whom I have known for many years.
He is a genuine and tough man whom I trust.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
He said hed buy this stock here, but really
cannot put up yet more money. I suspect a
sharp re-rating is on its way. Its the mood de
nos jours.
And finally, some spoofer has got into my
email address book and issued perhaps 2,000
advices that I have had all my money and cards
stolen from me whilst in the Ukraine. This has
led to (so far) 5 or so telephone calls of
solicitous enquiry. It is noticeable that nobody
has offered me any money and one pal
emphasised that he would not be sending any
money. One learns who are ones friends
.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 17
 Exclusive e-guide 27
SEPTEMBER 13
I am sitting pretty on Inspirit (INSP), now c.
3.3p, in the belief that there might be a deal
coming. Goodness knows what, though.
I have this morning bought 5mOrtac
Resources (OTC) at 0.32p. I won 50,000 at
Sandown nine days ago on Vasily (the
Russian presentation and pronunciation of
Vassilios). I warned Vassilios Carellas, CEO of
Ortac, that I would be doing this, but he got the
message too late. As a result, he is coming here
tomorrow evening to pay homage no doubt.
When Heseltine came up with Royal Mail
privatisation twenty-five years ago I thought
it a change too far too fast. I now know I was
wrong since, economically, the Post Office has
been a total disaster. Why on earth should mail
be delivered daily nowadays? Once every two
days is quite sufficient and some would
reasonably argue that just twice a week
would do.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 18
Chuka Umunna thinks privatisation would be a
bad idea which proves that it is an
exceptionally good idea.
This chap is an incompetent opportunist.
Always bet against him even if, and certainly
when, he looks suave.
Watch out for estate agent flotations. Their
market is set to go up. But it will surely bust
open ere long. Just not yet.
Dialight (DIA), at 1,150p now capitalised at just
under 400m, has warned on current profits.
The question is whether that is that. I think it
might be. But one should hold on for a while
before shorting it.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
Morgan Stanleys review ofASOS (ASC)a Not quite as good, but getting on that way,
couple of days before the results statement came in last Fridays Daily Mail in a review by
argued cogently for a sale at around 50 or Christopher Tookey of a newly released film,
more. Sellers were rewarded with stellar results Diana, covering her affair with a Dr Khan.
and the price now stands at 57. Caramba! Tookey gave this film just one star (out of five
However, keep selling. possible) which is about as bad as it gets in
Daily Mail land and summarised the film as:
Finally, for readers who do not dig into news Creepy weepie that will make you sleepy.
publishing history, I mention a famous
headline from the US showbiz magazine,
Variety, which featured in 1935: STICKS NIX
HICKS PIX. The article described how people in
rural areas (sticks) reject (nix) motion pictures
(pix) about rural life (hicks).
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 19
 Exclusive e-guide 27
OCTOBER 13
Ill deal withRoyal Mailflotation first. It is very
simple: just get stuck in. I do not know why
there is no prospectus offered in the
newspapers and that it is all to be over the
internet. I suppose its a case of autres temps
autres moeurs. Basically, besides liberating this
potentially great company, Osborne just
fancies bribing punters before the next
election. Put that way, its a straightforward
misre. Given that the left is banging on as to
how this flotation is at too great a discount, its
mildly amusing that the unions, in threatening
a strike, must inevitably be reducing the price
achieved.
I originally accepted theVmoto (VMT)placing
at 1.15p but they jacked it up to 1.27p. So I
withdrew my acceptance, which had been
through a subagent of the main placing agents.
I doubt the wisdom of coming through a
subagent since if one confronts a dud placing
in these circumstances, one gets all the stock
one wants.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 20
Its been one of lifes great mysteries that And talking of American absurdities, it is worth
Carpetright (CPR)has stayed north of 300p
for some years now. One reason is that there is
little or no stock to borrow and the other is that
Lord Harris of Peckham clearly has a mesmer-
ising affect upon investors. Anyway, in a sense,
the great hold up continues this morning since
a serious profits warning knocks the stock for
only 10% and is now 600p. Its still a sell.
One ofTeslascars burst into flames and the (OCDO).You may have read it here first.
stock gets knocked by 10%, closing at $173 last
night. Whats interesting here is that a chance
incident has so much effect. It is something to
do with the difficulties arising with lithium
batteries (as at Dreamliners for instance) but,
really, this is an over-reaction by the market. Or
at least it would be if Tesla (TSLA on Nasdaq)
were not inescapably, grotesquely overvalued.
I shortedTravelzest (TVZ)on a modest scale
noting thatAngies List (ANGI on Nasdaq)lost
$3 to close at $17.30 last night. The story is
unchanged in that for several months Angies
has been seen as an outright fraud. However, it
seems that the market is now taking the same
view in practice. Just choose your entry
moment carefully.
I learn that Amazon will take over Ocado
at 10. For the world is awash with competing
There is no reason forDialight (DIA)sgetting
back up to 1,170p. Sell it short here.
About twelve years ago Photo-Me
(PHTM)s share price started to come under
some pressure and it cratered to around 10p.
It is now at 120p or so. However, my attention
has been brought to www.portraitbooth.com.
They offer passport quality photos at 1.99 for
four as opposed to Photo-Mes 5 for four. This
does not look good for the latter proposition.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
(more is not possible) since it is clinging on to
solvency courtesy of a lender in a far off land
it took over Barclays lending position some
time ago. Death in its public form may be
delayed, but it could be next week: look at the
truly hopeless balance sheet.
I had slightly resolved not to short Mulberry
(MUL)again. But I could not resist it this time
handbags.
Finally,Sharon Shoesmithseems to have picked
up 700,000 compensation for her loss of job
at Haringey. Anyone reading the Daily Mail or
listening to some politicians would conclude
that she stole the money, where in fact the
inescapable truth is that this settlement has
been agreed by lawyers. It was of course a
mendacious populist thief politician (Ed Balls)
who screwed up the dismissal.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 21
 Exclusive e-guide 27
NOVEMBER 13
II sold all the familysRoyal Mail (RMG)
allocations of 227 shares since I could not be
bothered to sit looking at them in the
portfolios and taking questions. I achieved
469p. No doubt this will prove to be merely the
foothills of the price rise to come. Certainly, I
have read that Royal Mail own 23 acres of
freehold land at Mount Pleasant. Were this
turned over to residential development, I have
no idea what it would fetch. But I expect it
would be rather more than the current
capitalisation. Of course, such a step would
mean renting other premises where the cost
would be recovered from the customers. They
might object just think how they have been
sodded by the regulators/HMGs policies at
energy companies.
I suspect I have coined a new phrase, The
bravado buy. The Daily Mail extracted it from
me yesterday when I was asked to describe the
reasons forGlobos (GBO)CEOs purchase of
150,000 further shares.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 22
Meanwhile, little noticed if quite inevitable, the
American long bond keeps slip-sliding away
just as it jolly well ought to. Now 134.57.
The Melbourne Cup, run at 4.00 a.m. London
time, is called The Race That Stops A Nation.
Rather more accurate would be The Race That
Keeps The Insane Up All Night. So, insanely, I
stayed up all Tuesday night. Fortunately,
Australias leading lady, Gai Waterhouse, came
up with the goods and although I had laid out
10,000 on the selections highlighted here
on Monday, I also had the wit to win 50,000
on Fiorente. Fiorente was at less attractive (in
value terms) odds than the duo I here named.
Hence the failure to mention Fiorente. I hope I
am forgiven.
Dialight (DIA)continues to ease back. The bad
news has been delayed. But it is still coming.
If you have not already sold short, give it a go
above 10. isBitcoins.
Julian Richer, now 54, and founder boss
ofRicher Sounds, has no children and has in
his will therefore left the business to his
employees. He could live until he is 90 or so.
Talk about long term service awards!
I tried to shortTwitter (TWTR on Nasdaq)
yesterday (at $46.5). But there was no stock to
be borrowed and the brokers would not do a
naked short. Cads! I suspect Twitter represents
the peak of the social media stock price boom.
I have stood back from French Connection
(FCCN), now 40p, since the first rule of
investing in womens clothing retailers is never
to ask the analysts and, instead, always ask the
women. But it is very cheap on traditional
financial tests. Just ask the women first before
buying the shares.
Finally, one investment I will not be making
mere racing. The only risk is that he gets
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
The maximum supply is said to be 21m. They
now stand at around $285 apiece. It is
impossible to imagine that the original issuer
based, it is said, at Mount Gox (where on earth
is that? And who are the head mountaineers?)
could resist the temptation to issue a few more.
And then a few more still. Further, one cannot
short Bitcoins. This last point is the sure sign of
a scam in the development stage.
Finally, I asked BetFred for 2,000/5,000
thatTony McCoywill get a knighthood. They
cut me back to 50 which I declined as a
matter of principle (do not ask me what
principle I invoked). But for those readers who
are more modest (not difficult), this is a lay
down gimme. I met McCoy about ten years ago
when I sat next door to him over dinner (at The
Ritz, as it happens, when we were both guests
of Cantor, he as high priest and I as acolyte). He
is a truly impressive fellow above and beyond
fast-tracked into the Lords. But, surely, society
cannot do that to a knight of the horse.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 23
 Exclusive e-guide 27
DECEMBER 13
Mulberry (MUL) reported yesterday and the
share price did not bat an eyelid. I cannot even
begin to imagine why. The fact is that this
company is ex growth in a world now awash
with handbag producers (as indeed Mulberry
themselves freely acknowledge). It is on a PE
ratio of 50 and capitalised at c. 600m with
tnav of 75m. It is true that some loony
trophy buyer might emerge. But I doubt it:
owning shares on the off chance that a loon
comes strolling by is not a profitable stance.
Naibu (NBU)s trading update is terrific. It is
true that there will be a two month delay in
opening their new factory, but that this
will have a negligible effect upon the markets
profit expectations. Most important of all there
is no suggestion that the company is in
anything but rude good health. This means that
at under 100p the shares are absurdly cheap.
I know I have remarked upon this before, but
EPS are 4p a month, in cash.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 24
Market reports vary. For instance, todays
Times opines that Carpetright (CPR) closed
down 50p at 532p whereas the DTel informs
readers that it closed down 0.5p to 532p. The
latter is correct. Elsewhere and over at todays
DMail, it is disclosed that Odey has gone short
of Manchester United (ManU on NYSE), now
17p. The price closed last night at $17. I
suppose fact-checking is a bore, really, and that
it is therefore not worth doing.
A friend of my family asked one of his
daughters why she had packed it in with some
communist sect and was advised that since he
had not understood why she had joined, it was
pointless to expect him to understand why she
had left. That is rather my position with
Perform (PER)upon which I lost money on a
short when it was first floated. Subsequent to
my despairing close it rocketed. I still did not
understand the business. Yesterday, it warned
on profits mega style and collapsed to 180p. It
has recovered this morning to over 200p. Yet
again, I do not understand why. But my instinct
is still to short it. Old habits die hard.
Football strips are a closed book to me. For a
start, they are not issued in my size.
However,Sports Direct (SPD)seems to have
run into trouble with Adidas over the Chelsea
strip where Adidas, Chelseas sponsors, seek to
have greater control of the environment and
presumably the profit thereby achieved in the
distribution of the Chelsea strip. So one
wonders whether other strip licensers might
take a view to Sports Directs detriment. I still
reckon that the Mashley is a mighty force and
that Sports Direct, now 695p, will continue to
move ahead in the longer term.
Bitcoinsarent half shifting around. But do not
forget that no borrow to short means that no
real currency is emerging.
Serco (SRP)may have settled with HMG over
fake billing for prisoner handling. But this
misconduct hangs over the company and, at
470p, Serco does not appeal. It is surprising
that no criminal prosecutions have been
announced.
The Best of Evil Knievels Diaries
Nick Robinson, the BBCs political reporter,
reckons that Sir Alex Ferguson is the greatest
manager of any organisation in recent times.
There seems a lot of evidence to support this
view. Therefore one must feel sorry for David
Moyess current position. I have no idea what
his way out is, save through good luck. And
that does not work at this level: therefore it is
correct to be short ofManchester
United(ManU on NYSE),now $16 and sinking.
Finally, I have been afflicted these last few days
with the urge to buy aracehorse. If it comes
unnamed, the great search for something
appropriate shall begin. I really enjoy this
enquiry: some will remember the rig I bought
perhaps eight years ago styled Having A Ball.
Funnily enough, he is still in training.
www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 25
 www.spreadbetmagazine.com
This guide is intended to be used for educational and informational purposes only. It should not be
construed as giving investment advice, and you should not rely on any content within it in making,
or refraining from making, any investment decisions. Spreadbet Magazine Ltd and its sponsor
partners accept no liability whatsoever for any losses incurred by users in their trading.

This book is distributed under licence by Spreadbet Magazine Ltd from Burnbrae Media Ltd.

www.spreadbetmagazine.com | 03 Spreadbet Magazine 2013. All rights reserved.