Family

The only time we ever left grandmas ranch

before the sun had set
was the morning after my sisters and I
found my mother in that doughboy pool
kissing the neighbors son
with her tankini top pulled down.

We left for home as the sun rose. It was the first

time Id seen the place devoid of sunshine.
The color of landscapes at dawn
allows for 7 year-old contemplation.
As we drove past that abandoned horse stable,
through the apple orchards gates,
and onto paved road,
I wondered if my dad would find out.

Im not a morning person

Something about that pallid light
Reminds me of loss:
The earth before its alive
or after the night
has taken its innocence.