Sanchez 1

Kimberly Sanchez

Professor Sally Olivas

English 201

18 July 2017

How Domestic Violence is a Mens Issue

I. Domestic violence should not be considered a womens issue, but rather a mens

issue.

A. Toxic masculinity

B. Culturally influenced traits and behaviors

C. Children who have witnessed abuse in household or have been abused

themselves

D. Reasons why women stay in a relationship(counterargument) Why doesnt she

just leave?

E. Solutions to raise awareness

II. To understand that domestic violence is a mens issue, we must understand the term

toxic masculinity.

A. Toxic masculinity is a narrow and repressive description of manhood,

designating manhood as defined by violence, sex, status, and aggression.

(Miniter, Frank)

B. See collectively, we as men are taught to have less value in women, to view

them as property and objects of men. (Porter, Tony)

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C. Even from the creation of earth, according to the Christian bible, Eve was

created from Adams rib and solely for the purpose of company.

D. in domestic violence, men have been largely erased from so much of the

conversation about a subject that is centrally about men. (Katz, Jack)

E. The sentence has gone from the central focus of John to Mary: John beat

Mary=Mary is a battered woman.

F. Manhood comes with huge expectations: good job, big house, nice car,

attractive wife. When one of these things does not come into factor and the

man is set to believe things must come out his way in order to be successful, a

mans self-esteem is shattered and he can result to aggression and violence.

G. The focus of a man in domestic violence has diminished; toxic masculinity

plays a big factor in the reasoning behind a mans behavior.

III. We would be lying if we said culture did not affect a mans perspective and role

identity.

A. Mexican Culture= Machismo

B. In Mexican culture, men are expected to take care of the women and take her

away from her household and provide her with a better life.

C. American Culture= Bread winner

D. Throughout American history, men have been proven to be dominant over

their spouse: rule of thumb.

E. Culture has significantly impact the role of man throughout our lifetime.
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IV. Most domestic violence abusers were once subject to violence during their childhoos

or have witnessed domestic violence in their family household.

A. Studies now indicate that about one-third of people who are abused in

childhood will become abusers themselves. (Golemen, Daniel)

B. CDC reports that 15 million children are abused every year.

C. Daddy learned this behavior from his mother. (Shattered and beaten)

D. My parents both grew up in violent homes. Even before I was born I knew I

would suffer the same fate. (Shattered and beaten)

E. Alicia was given this fate, passed down from generation to generation,

without her consent.

F. Men violent with their intimate partners were very likely victims of violence

in childhood who developed poor coping behaviors as a result. (Medicine

and law weekly)

G. Children minds are like sponges, they absorb everything they see, hear, and

feel. Growing up in a violent household can prove to be traumatic for

children, who eventually grow up thinking the violent environment they are in

is normal. Daddy hits mommy because she doesnt have a clean home,

daddy just wants us to live in a clean house; daddy cares for us.

H. Children who are brought up in a violent household learn the behaviors

displayed and grow up to imitate them in their own way.

V. When we think about domestic violence, we think about the women: Why doesnt

she just leave that violent man?

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A. We fail to ask about the men. As if the only reason the violence started was

because of the woman and her actions.

B. each day in the United States, more than three women are murdered by

their husbands or boyfriends and statistics show 85% of women stay in violent

relationships. (PR Newswire)

C. Most women are scared to leave their abusers because they feel is they leave

the situation could get worse, even resulting in death. They feel they can

mediate the problem at home by behaving well. (Steiner, Leslie)

D. Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both his hands around my neck

and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or move. (Steiner, Leslie)

E. Some women stay because they would rather take the abuse than to allow

their family to separate.

F. Some women just simply do not feel they have anywhere else to go. They feel

trapped in the relationship without a positive outcome.

G. In the story Shattered and Beaten, Barbara decides to stay in the abusive

relationship because Brandon promises to change and his aggression stays

dormant during the first few years of Alicias birth. People want to believe

that people can change, that promises can be kept; this is not the case for

everyone.

H. Domestic violence is often depicted through the famous question: Why

doesnt she just leave? But what we should really be asking is: Why has he

resorted to violence and how can we help this man out.

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VI. In order to bring awareness of the mens issue of domestic violence a few solutions

should be taken into consideration.

A. Men need to break free from the man box. (Porter, Tony)

B. Men in professional statuses need to speak about domestic violence. They

need to be role models for the men listening. Men with power are looked upon

and admired by some men.( Katz, Jack)

C. Schools need to provide educational seminars about the topic of domestic

violence, toxic masculinity and possible alternatives.

D. As a society, we need to make it apparent that men do not have to live up to

this machismo status to be successful.

E. Communities need to build programs and advocate towards men who have

been victims of family violence.

F. Having these solutions, lectures, conferences, and awareness will help guide

society into believe that domestic violence is a womens issue instead of a

mens issue.