All-Hallows-Eve

by Colleen Houck
I thumped my head hard against the wooden side of the horse-drawn wagon as the right
wheel dipped into a large pot hole. Annoyed, I rolled onto my stomach and my nose was
instantly assailed with the stench of rotting meat coming from the dish in the corner of the cage.
My keeper hadnt bothered to clean the dish since we left New York and though my belly
protested, I just couldnt muster up the enthusiasm to pick at yesterdays leavings.
After a languorous stretch, I did amble over to my water dish and scraped my tongue
around the dry insides. They hadnt bothered to give me water since yesterday either. Licking my
chops dryly in a vain attempt to wet my mouth, I wandered to the canvas that was flapping
against the side of my cage and lifted my nose to the sky. Rain. From the taste of it on the tip of
my tongue it had rained a few hours ago in this part of the country and the clouds were clearing.
It wasnt as cold here as it was in New York. Id been at the same zoo in the New England
town for ten years until the kindly owner died and his middle-aged drunken son took over. Hed
gambled off the meager profits his father had saved up within the first week. Two months later,
all the animal trainers had been let go. Within six months, the animals that hadnt been sold off
had starved to death.
I was the last remaining attraction. My cage had always been popular since I was
considered exotic and I always tried to put on a good show for the old man. I liked him and he
treated me well. The son kept me around as long as possible. I literally couldnt starve to death,
though in some not too proud moments of my past Id tried, and the income I earned for him kept
his gaming collectors at bay. But, eventually, an offer came along that he couldnt refuse and I
was sold to a small traveling circus.
My new trainer wasnt the best sort. He was forgetful, I was often left without water or
fresh food, and he was careless, which often resulted in the deaths of his animals. He had a very
well trained trick pony that worked with a woman rider. He hadnt bothered to make sure the
arena was cleared of holes and rocks and the pony fell. The rider broke her neck and the ponys
leg snapped. They shot the pony. I dont know if the woman lived or not but I never saw her
again.
By my calculations, Id been with this group for around nine months. It was autumn. I
could smell it in the air and feel it in the wind rippling my fur. I hadnt seen Kadam since the
rumors of war broke out. Desperately, I grasped at the bits and pieces of information I heard as
people passed by, but most of the people, upon seeing me, spoke of trivial things, pointed me out
to their children, or spoke to me as if I were a pet.
The only time I was able to hear news was when the trainer was speaking with other men
outside my cage. My eyes watered as they smoked and slowly got drunk after shows but it was
worth it to hear of the outside world. They complained of the lack of money, saying the country
was in a depression, and even talked about butchering the show animals for some extra meat.
I snarled softly when they spoke of eating me but my trainer just kicked the cage, hurled
drunken obscenities at me, and told me to shut up or Id get the whip. If ever there was a man
whose throat I wanted to rip out, it was his. That was two weeks ago. Wed been in a place called
Tennessee and were now heading to the estate of a very wealthy man who was having a fall
celebration. Spirits were high when we neared the place called Asheville, as there was a hope for
good food, warm beds, and coins to fill the coffers.
 Of course, extra money made very little difference for the animals. We werent spoiled
when the money came in. I was usually served a diet of dog and most of it too rancid to eat. On a
good day, the meat was upgraded to horse.
My nose twitched again. Deer. My mouth watered. The wind whipped the canvas so hard
that the flap got stuck on the side of the cage. I stepped forward to take in the clean smelling air
and made a quiet noise in my chest. It was early morning and a light fog was slowly dissipating
from the tree-filled valley that stretched out before me.
Id never seen a forest such as this before. The trees were on fire in reds, yellows, and
oranges. Black trunks rose hundreds of feet and were covered with the palest of yellow leaves.
Dark limbs shook in the breeze and the leaves quivered. I smelled bear, deer, porcupine,
squirrels, and a variety of nuts.
Sinking to the floor of my cage and resting my head on my paws, I wrote a poem to the
trees. I wondered if I could survive in these mountains; if I could escape and live here. I knew
the forest was full of game and that it was big enough I could hide there for a long time, but I
also knew the futility of trying to leave captivity. Every time I made an attempt, something
happened to stop me and I honestly didnt have the heart to keep trying.
Was I even human anymore?
Kadam had spoken of a prophecy, of a girl. He was looking for her but I didnt think such a
girl existed. Even if she did, the likelihood of finding her was small, if not impossible. And if I
did find her, and the curse was broken, what would I be? Who would I be? An old man? A
forgotten prince? A man without a family, without a country? Would I even be a man at all?
Perhaps it would be better to remain a beast. At least I understood the world from a beasts
perspective.
I was drawn out of my ruminations when the caravan rolled to a stop on top of a hill. The
horses turned and walked on a few more steps and I heard a whoop from the driver.
There it is! And aint she the prettiest sight you ever did see?
Several of the performers cheered as they looked at the long stretch of trimmed grass below
that led up to a beautiful mansion. The driver clicked his tongue and the horses began moving
carefully down the dirt path toward the home. I lifted my head and studied the structure. Id seen
similar designs in France and Italy, having spent the better half of a century between the two. It
was a chateau with a steeply pitched roof, was about four stories tall, and was surrounded by
trees and gardens.
We made our way to a large building off to the side. By the strong scent of horse, I knew
we were to be set up in the stables. Our caravan was parked just behind. The showmen began
scurrying around as the leader of our group met with a distinguished man dressed in a riding suit
accompanied by a young woman, perhaps his wife, who wore a tight skirt ending just below the
knee and a thick fur-lined cloak. It was mink. I could still smell the animals death. She caught a
glimpse of me in my cage outside the stables and pulled the man towards me.
Oh, Robert! Look! Its a tiger.
He patted her hand absently. Yes, dear. We knew a tiger was coming.
But its white! How delightful!
He cleared his throat and turned to the circus owner to discuss details while the woman and
I stared at each other. I was pondering why people of such wealth couldnt afford to buy an
entire skirt when she suddenly announced, I want to buy him.
No, dear. We are seeing him perform. That will have to be enough.
But Bobby. She pouted.
 No. Where would we keep him? What does he eat? Shall we have the stable boys exercise
him with the horses? Its just not practical, Lilly. Besides, he touched her cheek affectionately,
you have a fabulous party to get ready for.
Youre right. I have so much to do!
Be off with you then.
He gave her a playful nudge and she ducked out the stable door, blowing him a farewell
kiss. I snorted and rolled over.
It was evening when I woke and the atmosphere inside the large stable was indeed party-
like. The sun was going down and the stable doors were thrown open to the evening air and were
lit with carved gourds. Bales of hay were stacked and dried corn stalks were placed all around.
Colorful bouncy orbs were attached to sticks and hung from every available space.
Some guests arrived by horse and buggy but, being wealthy, most of them arrived in the
new machines called motorcars. My trainer licked his lips as he jealously remarked on the
vehicles he couldnt yet afford to the others standing by.
A little later, I heard a whine near my cage and the company dog sat on the ground, his tail
stirring the dust as he panted. Most dogs avoided me but this one seemed to know I meant him
no harm and visited me often. After checking to see no one was paying attention, I nudged the
remains of my leftover lunch through the bars with my nose and he barked happily, snapped up
the meat and ran off with it somewhere to enjoy it.
I dipped my nose in my water dish to clean away the scent of the meat and took a long
drink, then sat to watch the people mingle at the party. They entered the decorated stable from
the other doors and were dressed in a variety of strange garb. I watched them compete in some
interesting contests. In one, the men had to lower their heads under water to secure an apple with
their teeth, and in another, they had their hands tied behind their backs and had to eat a pastry
from a string without letting it fall to the ground.
The women engaged in contests as well. They threw apple peelings into a bucket of water
and watched it curl into letters that were supposed to indicate the name of the man they would
marry. Then they each took a small cake called a barmbrack and, instead of eating it, ripped it to
pieces and the woman who found a ring in her cake was said to be the next woman to wed.
A speech was given by the man Id seen earlier while the lady stood next to his side. He
welcomed his guests to his home nestled in the Great Smoky Mountains and told them to have
fun, eat, and go on a hayride, and that a special performance would be given at exactly 9:00
oclock.
Several partygoers strolled by my cage. The men invariably bragged about hunting
expeditions while the women swooned and clutched the arms of their men. They ate roasted
pumpkin seeds from paper cones, apples on sticks that were covered in a sugar coating, and
buttered, sweet-roasted corn. I also saw cones with fluffy candy that looked like clouds. These
were torn apart in pieces and eaten. My mouth watered.
A pretty girl about six or seven years of age watched me shyly from behind a stack of dried
corn stalks. I sat quietly for a long time but she didnt approach. In her arm, she clutched a little
doll that looked just like her. When no one else was around, I huffed softly. She took a step
closer. I ducked my head under my paws and covered my eyes, heard her giggle, and looked up.
I did it again and while my eyes were closed, heard a man call for Louisa. When I opened my
eyes, she was gone.
Soon, it was time for my performance and I obligingly lowered my head so the trainer
could clip the chain lead onto my heavy collar. Docilely, I trotted down the wooden ramp and
into the stable. The women gasped and some even screamed. I tried my best to run through my
routine without stepping on anyones feet. The crowd was gathered in very close and if I had
extended my claws, I could have easily torn into someones skin.
My trainer was disappointed with my timidness. He wanted a show, so he purposefully
jabbed my ribs with the butt of his whip and shouted at me. He clapped me hard on the back of
my neck. I bared my teeth at him, but made no sound. Then, frustrated, he cracked the whip
against my nose and gave me the command to roar. I obliged him.
I roared so loudly that the crowd shifted and began to trample each other. The trainer was
oblivious to the throng and thought they were cheering him on so he whipped me again and gave
me the command to stand on my hind legs. I did and pawed the air and was rewarded with
having food thrown at me. Women screamed and people evacuated the building while the trainer
raised his hands in the air to quiet the frightened mob.
Meanwhile, I was pelted with sticky apples, candied treats, and even had a lit gourd lobbed
at me. I ducked but stepped into some spilled punch mixed with mud. As I shook out my paw,
the trainer came after me with the whip. Quickly backing up, I hit the food table which crashed
to the ground and was soon covered with punch, sticky candy clouds, and roasted pumpkin
seeds. Several of the floating colorful orbs popped. Id never heard such a noise in my life. I
jumped and the trainer began brutally whipping me.
Finally, bruised, bloody, beaten, and covered in filth, I was allowed back in my cage. The
trainer spent another half hour threatening me before he finally left. The owner of the beautiful
home was livid. He told our group wed be getting no money and that hed personally see to it
that we never performed in North Carolina again.
The guests left and the night became quiet. I tried to sleep but the scent of the sweet punch
and candy overwhelmed me and when I moved I left clumps of fur behind on the floorboards Id
adhered to. Letting out a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and thought of India. A few minutes later, I
heard a noise. When I opened my eyes, I saw the young girl, clothed in her night dress, robe, and
slippers. She was crouched at the top of the ramp and clutched her little doll.
Poor tiger, she said. Youre all sticky.
She reached into the bars and stroked the top of my head. I closed my eyes and felt them
fill with tears. No one had laid their hands on me with kindness since Id been taken from my
family. I didnt know until that moment how human I still was.
When I opened my eyes, the little girl said, Poor tiger. Dont cry. You can have my
dolly. She tucked her doll between my paws, smiled, and disappeared into the night.
I knew that the next day would bring great pain. That Id be beaten and starved for weeks
in punishment for the ruined party, but at that moment, Id been given a priceless gift. The gift of
hope.
I thought about that little girl for years and watched for another girl, one who might feel
empathy. One who might feel my humanity. One who might save me.