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Prena Libre

11 JUL 2017

El Chalo Mau moose numbers are expected to rise for the tenth consecutive year, partic-
to 60,000 making China a net moose ularly thanks to a strong showing in
By BENJAMIN LOPEZ exporter for the first time. This is the last quarter.
good news for neighbouring Mongo- As moose season reaches its close,
lia, a barren moose-wasteland whose researchers world wide are turning to
inhabitents nonetheless have an insa- science in an attempt to boost next
El pasado Domingo 9 del presente tiable desire for the creatures. The in- years figures. NASA stunned the
mes, se disputo la copa del rey de crease in Beijing-Ulanbataar trade is scientific community today with the
la concacaf de toda America. Ju- anticipated to relieve pressure on the announcment of their discovery that
gadores de alto nivel se hicieron pre- relatively strained Russian suppliers, the moon is significantly smaller than
sentes y Guatemala fue el principal but increase Mongolias imbalance of previously believed. This conclusion,
equipo que lidero el marcador en este trade with its larger neighbour. which is the conclusion of a ten-
campeonato. El mejor Jugador y que year collaborative project, will have
Historically the only competitor
fue felicitado por Messi y CR7 fue profound implications for the moose
to China in the far eastern moose
Maurico Ovando el mejor. community as the gravitational field
markets has been Singapore but the
tiny island nation is set to report a is now known to be of the right
International net loss, expecting a decrease of more strength to support moose in orbit.
than five percent on last years 50,000 According to John Johnson, head
Moose Count moose counted. The head of Singa- of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi-
pores Agency for Agriculture, Jing- ment the first delivery of moose into
Underway Feng Lau, explained to an incredu- low moon orbit could be achieved as
lous Singaporean parliament yester- early as the third quarter of next year.
By BOB OBOBSTON The technology to nurture moose in
day that bad weather had contributed
to this seasons poor showing, most space is available now, he said, all
notably when a cargo of 150 moose that is needed is political will.
The UN-sponsored International were swept out into the Indian ocean
Moose Census got off to a flying in a monsoon. Granny wins
start today with hopes for an increase Yet again the global demand for
in the worldwide moose population moose will be met largely by the World Wrestling
compared to last years disapointing US and Canada. The recession-hit
figures. Among the traditional early States is taking comfort in its moose Championship
reporters were Egypt, returning fig- growth figures with gross production
expected to break 700,000 and net ex- By ROY MCROYSTON
ures of six moose, a twenty percent
increase on 2011s figures of five, and ports to grow by 2%. The worldwide
Uruguay whose moose population re- dominance of Canada shows no signs
mains stable at eleven. of abating though with this years Records were smashed in
According to Robbie McRobson, moose population expected to match Nicaraguas World Wrestling Cham-
head of the UN Moose Preserva- last years record figures of one hun- pionship last night as 78-year-old
tion Council, worldwide moose num- dred million billion. Maud Johnson, grandmother of five,
bers are expected to grow markedly Europes rise as an international became the first woman for fifty-six
on last year due to the traditional moose power will slow slightly this years, and the oldest competitor ever,
moose strongholds of Canada and the year as a response to the European to claim the gold medal. She walked
United States, with the larger de- Unions move towards standardising away with her million dollar share of
veloping moose ecologies also poised the European moose. Stringent qual- the prize money, runner up Tommy
to make gains. The largest percent- ity controls are holding back the de- Thompson from Nigeria taking half a
agege increase in moose will likely velopment of the eastern european million, and third place New Zealan-
come from China, says McRobson, populations compared to last year der John Smith receiving a warm
The Chinese government has invested when they contributed significantly handshake from the umpire.
heavily in moose infrastructure over to europes strong growth figures. Having started the tournament a
the past decade, and their committ- Norway, which is not an EU member rank outsider she began to impress
ment to macrofauna is beginning to but has observer status, strengthed in her second match when she took
pay dividends. Since 2004 China has in numbers relative to the Euro area US number three Ron Ronson by sur-
expanded moose pasture from 1.5% with numbers of Norweigian moose, prise and subdued him in twenty sec-
of arable land to nearly 3.648% and known locally as elk expected to rise onds with her unique move that has
Prens:a Libre 11 JUL 2017 2

been dubbed "Mauds Death Grip". The next seven matches were barely and grandson five-year-old Sammy
The injection of a new wrestling style a contest as the news of Johnsons Johnson. "Ive been drinking ten
into the tournament was welcomed supremacy overawed all her oppo- raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
by spectators and Johnsons pre- and nents who became too indimidated to sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
post-match breakdances have proved fight properly. ing my daughters car to the end of
entertaining to fans. However, she Nigerian Tommy Thompson is the road and back whenever I felt my
was still not expected to win in also a relative newcomer to the arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
round three last Wednesday, facing wrestling scene, but with his 210lb added "I always knew she could do
off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- frame he was expected to fare well it. Shes my grandma.". The young-
Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- against Johnson who weighs in at ster is also her manager and has re-
derdog Johnson was soon showing her only 90lb. However Johnsons lithe portedly arranged sponsorship deals
worth with stamina and agility easily and slender, some would say scrawny, which will dwarf her one million dol-
matching last years winner. Luttis figure belies her agility and strength lar prize fund. Her new contract with
experience paid off initially as he took which she demonstrated by holding headband designer Nike alone is set
the first two rounds, but as John- Thompson above her head several to earn her fourteen billion dollars
son became more confident her su- times during the bout and throwing over the next year. She will also be
perior strength came to the fore and him into the crowd once. With the promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
she clawed back two rounds to take scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
the contest into a decider. By this contest went to a panel of judges to be Bingo. Her continued participation in
time Luttis body language indicated assessed. They awarded Thompson a the sport is not assured as she wants
that he already felt overawed by the C grade whilst Johnson received an to spend more time on her bungee-
pretender to his crown, and the new- A, becoming the first grandmother to jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
comer took advantage of this to en- ever win the title. eryone here at the World Champi-
gage a mutual headlock which she The new champion explained her onships, however, hopes for her re-
held for three hours until the Vat- success as the result of a strict train- turn.
ican man retired from exhaustion. ing regimen instituted by her coach

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