The Simpsons S27E14 HDTV x264-KILLERS

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00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:08,715

D'oh!
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00:00:13,322 --> 00:00:16,456
It's fourth and nine
for the Simpsons.
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Homer takes the snap,
looking for a receiver.
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They're all covered.
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He's gonna sneak it in!
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Oh, man, that is why
he gets to control the remote.
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 The Simpsons 27x14 
Gal of Constant Sorrow
Original Air Date on February 21, 2016
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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Mmm.
Oh, this tile is loose.
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I'll have to call a handy man.
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Why'd you say it like that?
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With a pause between the words.
Are you saying I'm not handy?
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That's how you
say it: handy man.
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It's handyman.
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That's what I said:
handy... man.
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Marjorie,
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there is the profession:
handyman,
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and there are men who are handy.
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Which are you saying I'm not?
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Tell me.
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A handy...
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man.
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Face it, homeboy,
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you ain't handy.
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Unless we need
a big fat paperweight.
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I'll paperweight you!
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Oh!
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Homie, sweetie,
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replacing a tile
is something
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you really need a
professional for.
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I know how to replace a tile.
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All guys do.
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We talk about it all the time.
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Grout?
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There's no stopping
what I've started here.
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Here's your tile.
Have fun.
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Handy... man.
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Lisa, honey, do you have any
idea how to replace a floor...?
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Here's a video tutorial
on replacing a tile.
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I don't know if I need a
whole tutorial to teach me...
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You're tapping. You have to swipe.
I'm-I'm swiping, I'm swiping.
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Pretend you're swiping
chocolate icing off a cake.
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All right, how's that?
Ah, see? There.
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There it is, yeah. Perfect.
There really is icing on here.
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All right, then.
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Hi there. If you're
watching this video,
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you've got a job
that needs doing
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but you're too cheap
to pay for it.
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Man, this guy's inside my head.
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Now, replacing a tile
is a simple task.
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As long as the substrate
beneath the tile isn't rotted.
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If there is rot
in your substrate,
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we will now play loud music
so you can curse.
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Stupid floor! Why...
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Why was I born a homeowner?
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On your marks.
On your marks.
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Get set.
Get set.
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Twins!
Twins!
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Loser!
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Oh, boy.
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Oh. Why is everyone passing us?
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You know how scared I am
of going on a slant.
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Oh.
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Ow!
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Latchkey kids rule!
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I can't die now.
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I actually did my homework.
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I'm sorry, ma'am.
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Come spring, I'll go
get that for you.
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Dang good-for-nothin' cart.
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Always fighting to go left
when I wanted to go right.
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It was my only friend.
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Now take your sponge,
wipe away the excess grout
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and you're done.
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Oh, my God,
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it looks like
what it's supposed to look like.
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I did man work!
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My hero.
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I'm happy to say I was wrong.
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I'll put Maggie down
and make you a snack.
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Something bacon-y.
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A bacon apology sandwich.
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What? No.
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No. No.
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Oh, I sealed in the cat.
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If it dies,
it'll stink up the whole house.
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Also, the kids like it.
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Stupid genius cat.
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She went from under the floor
to inside the wall.
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Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.
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More repairs?
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00:04:06,755 --> 00:04:09,789
Aah! Marge, I should
tell you something.
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I knew it.
You're not a handy...
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No. You did not know it.
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I was going to say I'm not
stopping with the tile.
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Oh, no. Once
you've been bitten
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by the repair bug,
you can't quit.
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How would you like hot water
in the bathtub again?
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I'll go get the "H" knob
out of my jewelry box.
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Mmm. Don't take long,
handy man.
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Handyman.
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Okay, cat, I'll get you out
tomorrow, but here's dinner.
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Lasagna, which I know cats like.
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Oh!
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Nothing to see here.
Just kneeling
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in front of the
electric outlet,
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appreciating Edison's miracle.
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Look, Hettie, you
got two choices.
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Under the bed
or in the closet.
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I suppose I will take
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the closet.
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Oh, my goodness.
This is like my heyday
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when I was livin' in that car.
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You know, you get enough
parking tickets on the front,
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they act like curtains.
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Mmm.
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Hey, mornin', boss.
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Hey, what you take
in your coffee?
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'Cause I got sugar
and I got something called
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"Not for individual sale."
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Listen. I don't think you should
get too comfortable here.
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Okay, okay.
Thought you might say that,
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but, uh, what if
I make it amenable to you?
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If you hide me here,
I'll give you a dollar a day.
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Here's one week in advance.
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Yes, I'm a slumlord.
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Started from the bottom,
now we're here
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now the whole team here
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now we're here
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now the whole team here
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now we're here
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now my whole team here
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now we're here
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now my whole team here
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now we're here
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Started from
the bottom, now we're here
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I done kept it real
from the jump
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Living at my mama house,
we'd argue every mornin'
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I was-- I was trying
to get it on my own
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Working all night,
traffic on the way home
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And my uncle calling me
like "Where ya at?
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I gave you the keys,
told you bring it right back"
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I just-- I just think
it's funny how it goes
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Now I'm on the road,
half a million for a show
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And we started from the...
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Hmm.
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Sorry, cat.
Had to go to work.
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Then there was a freeway chase
on the news.
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Had to watch it till the end.
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The guy got arrested
in a cul-de-sac.
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00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,105
They never do
what I yell at them to do.
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Oh, you're in the ceiling?
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Do not use top step?
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Stupid government,
trying to keep us down.
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Where is Bart
getting this money?
156
00:07:00,695 --> 00:07:01,995
Lisa?
157
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,931
Just what do you
think you're up to?
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Mm...
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Come on. You can
tell Dr. Tuna.
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Okay, I admit it. I think
Bart's up to something funny,
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so I'm snooping in his room.
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No snooping. You know what
they say about curiosity.
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It killed the cat?
The cat's fine!
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Stop asking
about the cat!
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Lose a Kewpie doll
in front of your gal.
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Hey, boss.
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We have a situation here.
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You owe me three
weeks' back rent.
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Aha!
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00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,795
Bart Simpson,
you are cruelly exploiting
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a poor,
unfortunate woman.
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So, you're gonna tell Mom
and she's gonna kick Hettie out.
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Girlie, ain't you got a heart?
174
00:07:43,038 --> 00:07:44,837
Nope. All brain,
no heart.
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Yeah. She looks like
a little bitty railroad bull.
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Now I got to sing for my supper.
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I wrote this one a few days ago.
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This is a song about loss.
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It was a cart
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Meant for shopping
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It came to mean
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Much more to me
183
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It held the pan
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I cook my slop in
185
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And my old PlayStation 3
186
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It was my home
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And my place of worship
188
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It was my home
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And it was kinda my car
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Now you're just rolling
underwater
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While Safeway wonders
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Where you are.
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00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,382
Whoa! My roommate
is talented!
194
00:09:03,822 --> 00:09:05,968
If I know
my Smithsonian Folkways,
195
00:09:06,068 --> 00:09:08,300
that was
an Appalachian folk song.
196
00:09:08,302 --> 00:09:10,269
Well, I'm from
Lickskillet, Kentucky,
197
00:09:10,304 --> 00:09:12,171
just shy of the
Appalachia Trail.
198
00:09:12,206 --> 00:09:15,607
Really? Oh, I love, love, love
indigenous mountain music.
199
00:09:15,643 --> 00:09:18,443
Well, isn't that fascinatin'?
200
00:09:18,479 --> 00:09:21,346
I'm glad you
liked the song.
201
00:09:21,382 --> 00:09:24,116
Yes. I liked it
very, very, very m...
202
00:09:24,151 --> 00:09:26,285
Oh! You want money.
203
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,787
I'm sorry. I don't have any.
204
00:09:28,823 --> 00:09:31,190
I'm also a musician.
205
00:09:31,225 --> 00:09:33,926
But you can stay in our house.
206
00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:36,595
Ha-ha! It's a deal!
Back in the boy's closet.
207
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,096
No, Hettie.
You're a human being.
208
00:09:38,132 --> 00:09:40,165
You can sleep in my closet.
209
00:09:40,201 --> 00:09:42,000
Hmm. Well, la-di-da.
210
00:09:42,036 --> 00:09:43,435
How much you charge?
211
00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:46,104
Nothing. Maybe we can talk
a little music.
212
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:48,607
Ugh. Boy, what's
your price again?
213
00:09:48,642 --> 00:09:51,109
Okay, we'll only talk about it
if you want to!
214
00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:52,344
But it would be an honor.
215
00:09:52,379 --> 00:09:53,612
Okay, let's go.
216
00:09:53,647 --> 00:09:55,013
Oh, you've hurt
yourself.
217
00:09:55,049 --> 00:09:56,615
Uh, nope, that's syrup.
218
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,183
Oh, let me find you
a Wet-Nap.
219
00:09:58,219 --> 00:09:59,952
I just woke up
from a wet nap.
220
00:09:59,987 --> 00:10:01,987
Okay.
Conversation's over.
221
00:10:02,022 --> 00:10:02,821
Check, one, two.
222
00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:04,156
All right.
223
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,691
No, no, no, leave
the windows open.
224
00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:08,227
I like crickets and
night breeze in my music.
225
00:10:08,262 --> 00:10:10,896
They do go well together.
Have you always been musical?
226
00:10:10,931 --> 00:10:13,899
You know, first sound I ever
heard was my daddy fiddlin'.
227
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:16,468
His name was Bascom Lee Boggs.
228
00:10:16,503 --> 00:10:18,203
Bascom Lee Boggs?!
229
00:10:18,239 --> 00:10:20,706
He played with
some seminal Appalachian bands,
230
00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:22,541
like Snug
and the Cousin Huggers,
231
00:10:22,576 --> 00:10:24,643
Lead Paint Larry
and the Drooly Boys,
232
00:10:24,678 --> 00:10:27,045
Howlin' Sue
and Her Vestigial Organ,
233
00:10:27,081 --> 00:10:29,214
and Bloody Mary
and the Coalmine Canaries.
234
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,568
Did your daddy
teach you to fiddle?
235
00:10:31,592 --> 00:10:32,418
No.
236
00:10:32,419 --> 00:10:34,653
He was gonna start me out
on the cigar box banjo,
237
00:10:34,688 --> 00:10:37,723
but, uh, before he could,
he-he lost his sight.
238
00:10:37,758 --> 00:10:39,224
Oh, no. I'm sorry.
239
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:41,493
Yeah, he got shot
in the face.
240
00:10:41,528 --> 00:10:44,229
You know them puzzles
where you slide the tiles?
241
00:10:44,265 --> 00:10:45,998
He looks a little
like that now.
242
00:10:46,033 --> 00:10:48,834
My mother was an amazing
banjo player. Mmm.
243
00:10:48,869 --> 00:10:52,437
Unfortunately, she did also go blind.
Really?
244
00:10:52,473 --> 00:10:54,873
Yeah, it was winter
and she was runnin' a fever
245
00:10:54,909 --> 00:10:57,609
and, um, then she got shot
in the face.
246
00:10:57,645 --> 00:11:00,879
Oh, wow. Hettie,
you've had such a sad life.
247
00:11:00,915 --> 00:11:03,115
But you know what?
That's gonna turn around
248
00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:05,617
when I show the world
what it's missing in you.
249
00:11:05,653 --> 00:11:08,287
Well, I don't know if
the world's gonna get me,
250
00:11:08,322 --> 00:11:11,123
but, child, it sure feels
good to know that you do.
251
00:11:11,158 --> 00:11:12,557
Mmm.
Mmm.
252
00:11:12,593 --> 00:11:13,892
You're having a moment
with someone
253
00:11:13,928 --> 00:11:15,627
who has so few moments.
254
00:11:15,663 --> 00:11:17,696
This will never be forgotten.
255
00:11:17,731 --> 00:11:22,367
Oh, baby girl, I feel like I'm
back home in poorest Appalachia.
256
00:11:22,403 --> 00:11:24,036
Thank you.
257
00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:28,040
Okay. And three, two, one...
258
00:11:29,476 --> 00:11:34,446
Oh, Barnes & Noble
259
00:11:34,481 --> 00:11:39,217
Oh, I am sorry to see
260
00:11:39,253 --> 00:11:40,819
That your store
261
00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:45,457
Has been shuttered
262
00:11:45,492 --> 00:11:49,494
I miss your
bathroom policy
263
00:11:49,530 --> 00:11:55,500
I would sleep
in your stalls
264
00:11:55,536 --> 00:12:00,138
For many a long day...
265
00:12:00,174 --> 00:12:01,907
It's lovely,
but I want you to know
266
00:12:01,942 --> 00:12:04,776
I've-I've truly come
to hate music.
267
00:12:04,812 --> 00:12:06,411
That is so sad.
268
00:12:06,447 --> 00:12:08,814
I wanted to arrange a concert
in Springfield Park.
269
00:12:08,849 --> 00:12:11,616
We needed the school's lights
and sound system.
270
00:12:11,652 --> 00:12:15,187
Lights? Sweetie, you don't know
a Fresnel from a gobo.
271
00:12:15,222 --> 00:12:17,589
Well, I think you'll help me
every way you can.
272
00:12:17,624 --> 00:12:19,257
And why, pray tell, is that?
273
00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:21,660
Because deep down, there's
still a part of you
274
00:12:21,695 --> 00:12:24,262
that remembers music
can be magical.
275
00:12:24,298 --> 00:12:25,931
You're right.
276
00:12:25,966 --> 00:12:28,000
I can't bear
to kill your passion.
277
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:30,335
It will live at least
until third grade,
278
00:12:30,371 --> 00:12:32,971
when you get Mrs. Ortner.
279
00:12:33,007 --> 00:12:35,173
So, I got back together
with Jeff.
280
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:38,176
Then, of course, I realized
there was a reason we broke up.
281
00:12:39,813 --> 00:12:42,881
That sounds awful,
and you look stupid doing it.
282
00:13:03,504 --> 00:13:05,804
Hettie, Hettie, I have
a surprise for you!
283
00:13:05,839 --> 00:13:08,974
Oh, well,
barbecue my bedbugs.
284
00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:10,976
That is glorious.
285
00:13:11,011 --> 00:13:14,212
To pay for it,
I sold my Malibu Stacys.
286
00:13:14,248 --> 00:13:17,816
Which, from a feminist
perspective, was long overdue.
287
00:13:17,851 --> 00:13:21,319
But I have a Ken that I'm
transitioning to a Stacy.
288
00:13:21,355 --> 00:13:22,721
Try it on, try it on,
try it on!
289
00:13:22,756 --> 00:13:24,890
I heard you the second time!
290
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,493
Mmm, mmm. Why,
thank you, Your Majesty,
291
00:13:28,529 --> 00:13:30,429
I will have
another cup of soda.
292
00:13:30,464 --> 00:13:32,864
Lis, Lis, Lis.
What?!
293
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:35,267
I've seen you like this
before, and it ends badly.
294
00:13:35,302 --> 00:13:36,935
She is gonna
break your heart.
295
00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:38,937
And your heart's as
tough as a soap bubble.
296
00:13:38,972 --> 00:13:41,106
Remember how upset you got
over that dead plant?
297
00:13:41,141 --> 00:13:44,109
Oh. It's the seven-month
anniversary of that.
298
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:47,279
Oh, geez, here
we go again.
299
00:13:47,314 --> 00:13:49,714
Ugh. You know what, Bart?
Just get out!
300
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:52,117
And get Dad's keys and
drive us to the radio station.
301
00:13:52,152 --> 00:13:54,119
And then get out!
Wait until we're done.
302
00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:57,255
Then drive us back.
Then get out!
303
00:13:59,293 --> 00:14:00,859
Damn it!
304
00:14:02,896 --> 00:14:04,696
Hey.
305
00:14:04,731 --> 00:14:06,965
Hello, Homer.
I need to do the laundry.
306
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,768
Uh, uh, I'll do it!
Oh.
307
00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:12,637
You idiot. Now we'll always
have to do the laundry!
308
00:14:14,308 --> 00:14:16,608
I'll do it wrong
so she'll never ask again.
309
00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:18,810
Homer, you're a genius!
310
00:14:18,846 --> 00:14:20,545
Thanks, brain!
311
00:14:20,581 --> 00:14:22,781
Oh, I'm not your brain.
I'm a blood clot.
312
00:14:24,952 --> 00:14:26,918
Okay. I'm goin' in.
313
00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:29,354
Thank God I never put in
that insulation.
314
00:14:35,662 --> 00:14:37,062
Whoo-hoo!
315
00:14:37,097 --> 00:14:39,831
I glide silently
through the wall.
316
00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:43,668
Silently, ever silently.
317
00:14:47,274 --> 00:14:49,307
Aah! Ooh, rogue nails! Oh.
318
00:14:49,343 --> 00:14:50,909
Hot pipe!
319
00:14:52,513 --> 00:14:54,279
Gah. It's... Oh.
320
00:14:54,314 --> 00:14:56,381
Rough tongue! Aah!
321
00:14:59,653 --> 00:15:01,186
Oh, that's just...
322
00:15:02,723 --> 00:15:04,156
Aw, crap.
323
00:15:06,193 --> 00:15:09,261
Sure am glad
we don't have a horse.
324
00:15:09,296 --> 00:15:10,996

325
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,171
Welcome back to Mountain Trax.
326
00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:16,441
I'm here today with the one
and only Miss Hettie Mae Boggs,
327
00:15:16,476 --> 00:15:18,910
the baby of the Boggs Family.
328
00:15:18,945 --> 00:15:21,980
Well, I'm a little big
for a baby.
329
00:15:22,015 --> 00:15:24,482
Although my mother did have
a 21-pounder.
330
00:15:24,518 --> 00:15:26,318
Charming.
Does anyone on this station talk
331
00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:27,986
like they're not at a funeral?
332
00:15:28,021 --> 00:15:30,088
No. I'm afraid we all do.
333
00:15:30,123 --> 00:15:32,424
So, Hettie, you're doing
a concert tonight.
334
00:15:32,459 --> 00:15:33,792
Yes, she is.
335
00:15:33,827 --> 00:15:35,593
Could you tell our listeners
336
00:15:35,629 --> 00:15:37,429
why you didn't perform with your
older brothers and sisters?
337
00:15:37,464 --> 00:15:39,197
I mean, they would ask
me to. They would...
338
00:15:39,232 --> 00:15:40,665
They'd say,
"Hettie, come over here,
339
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:42,967
pick up a banjo
and play a song with us."
340
00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:44,703
And, um, I don't know.
341
00:15:44,738 --> 00:15:47,339
I'd say, "No, I'm happy just
to sit down by the creek
342
00:15:47,374 --> 00:15:49,040
and do my heroin." You know?
343
00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:50,442
Wait. What?
344
00:15:50,477 --> 00:15:52,377
Is it also true
you've been discovered by,
345
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:53,878
and then turned your back on,
346
00:15:53,914 --> 00:15:56,114
well-meaning supporters
time and time again?
347
00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:58,316
Uh, yes, yeah,
that is a pattern I adhere to,
348
00:15:58,352 --> 00:15:59,651
and do you have any OxyContin?
349
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:01,886
Now, if you got some,
you don't have to say yes.
350
00:16:01,922 --> 00:16:03,321
You just got to blink.
351
00:16:03,357 --> 00:16:04,989
Maybe we should take a break.
352
00:16:05,025 --> 00:16:07,058
For the record,
I'm not blinking.
353
00:16:07,094 --> 00:16:09,828
He's holding. He
just won't share.
354
00:16:09,863 --> 00:16:12,330
No, no, Hettie, please tell me
that you're rehabilitated.
355
00:16:12,366 --> 00:16:14,499
Please tell me that
you're talking about heroin
356
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:16,901
so that no one else will follow
in your footsteps.
357
00:16:16,937 --> 00:16:19,704
Please reassure me
because I am frightened.
358
00:16:19,740 --> 00:16:22,073
Oh, baby girl, I
wouldn't let you down.
359
00:16:22,109 --> 00:16:24,175
You and me-- we get
each other, yeah?
360
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,910
But if I don't get
something sweet,
361
00:16:25,946 --> 00:16:28,313
I might shoot someone in the face.
362
00:16:28,348 --> 00:16:30,882
Are you saying that you shot
your parents in the face?
363
00:16:30,917 --> 00:16:32,584
I don't know.
364
00:16:32,619 --> 00:16:34,686
That's not really the
kind of thing you remember.
365
00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:36,054
You know what I mean?
366
00:16:36,089 --> 00:16:37,856
All right,
I'm gonna go now. Bye.
367
00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:40,525
Lis, if she shoots
your face off tomorrow,
368
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,195
just remember
this is what it looks like.
369
00:16:47,701 --> 00:16:49,567
She is not going
to let me down!
370
00:16:49,603 --> 00:16:51,102
She is not!
371
00:16:51,138 --> 00:16:52,604
I am saving her.
372
00:16:52,639 --> 00:16:54,205
Okay, you've convinced me.
373
00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,107
You're out of your mind.
374
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:58,144
So, how'd it go at the co-ed
kickball championship?
375
00:16:58,334 --> 00:16:59,412
All a lie!
376
00:16:59,413 --> 00:17:01,880
Lisa's been hiding a dangerous
heroin addict in her closet!
377
00:17:01,915 --> 00:17:04,349
You were hiding her
in your closet, too!
378
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:06,384
I was renting
week-to-week!
379
00:17:10,014 --> 00:17:13,782
Homer, do you know what
was going on in our house?
380
00:17:13,818 --> 00:17:16,118
Why are you asking meow--
I mean, me now?
381
00:17:16,153 --> 00:17:17,786
Homer, I know about the cat.
382
00:17:17,822 --> 00:17:19,888
I also know about the dog.
He's fine.
383
00:17:21,659 --> 00:17:24,193
I've been taking care of everything.
You knew?
384
00:17:24,228 --> 00:17:27,029
It was pretty sexy
pretending you were toolsy.
385
00:17:27,064 --> 00:17:30,466
But Lisa let a strange
Kentucky lady live in our house
386
00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:32,468
without our permission.
387
00:17:32,503 --> 00:17:35,337
Well, now I don't know where
she is, and I believed in her,
388
00:17:35,372 --> 00:17:37,840
and we have a concert
in 30 minutes.
389
00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:39,441
Oh, honey, we'll find her.
390
00:17:39,477 --> 00:17:41,343
You entertain the audience
till we get there.
391
00:17:41,378 --> 00:17:43,979
Okay, I'll play my sax!
392
00:17:44,014 --> 00:17:45,714
Well, that'll turn
a disappointed crowd
393
00:17:45,749 --> 00:17:46,749
into a lynch mob.
394
00:17:46,784 --> 00:17:47,850
Shut up.
395
00:17:47,885 --> 00:17:49,818
Okay, if you want
to find this woman,
396
00:17:49,854 --> 00:17:52,988
and I recommend you don't,
here's a little clue.
397
00:17:53,023 --> 00:17:56,325
Hettie usually smells
like radiator booze.
398
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,693
To Cletus country!
399
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,161

400
00:17:59,196 --> 00:18:01,563
Hettie, we need
to get you up,
401
00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:04,800
run you through a car wash
and get you to that concert.
402
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,535
You hush up now!
403
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:09,004
Fortunately for you,
I'm fluent in drunk.
404
00:18:09,039 --> 00:18:10,572
Now, come on, get up.
405
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:13,408
You're gonna
get up and...
406
00:18:15,613 --> 00:18:17,012
And backtalk.
407
00:18:20,351 --> 00:18:22,351
Nobody tell me what to do.
408
00:18:22,386 --> 00:18:25,487
Not you, not the po-lice.
409
00:18:25,523 --> 00:18:27,389
Not even the police.
410
00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:29,925
Cletus, why did you
give her a shotgun?
411
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,495
Hey, I do not give
anyone firearms.
412
00:18:33,531 --> 00:18:36,832
Now, she must've taken that
out the umbrella stand.
413
00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:39,501
Oh, your little girl's
been so good to me.
414
00:18:39,537 --> 00:18:41,603
I can't shoot you
in the face.
415
00:18:41,639 --> 00:18:43,372
I'll just make you deaf
for a week.
416
00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,340
Oh! I have church tomorrow.
417
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:46,775
Can you do the other?
418
00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:48,210
Thank you!
419
00:18:50,548 --> 00:18:54,049
Give it up!
She isn't coming!
420
00:18:56,820 --> 00:19:00,722
You've just made
a very powerful enemy-- NPR.
421
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:04,493
Our revenge is made possible
by listeners like you.
422
00:19:08,098 --> 00:19:11,233
Hello, Springfield!
423
00:19:11,268 --> 00:19:15,504
They're gone, and I am never,
ever gonna forgive you.
424
00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:24,046
As I went down
in the river to pray
425
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:28,317
Slipped in the mud
and lost my way
426
00:19:28,352 --> 00:19:32,721
Found a bag of chips
and half a Twix
427
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:37,993
Thank you, Lord,
for this day
428
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:42,631
Oh, honey, I've been down
429
00:19:42,666 --> 00:19:47,669
Bread bag shoes
and a Burger King crown
430
00:19:47,705 --> 00:19:52,140
Oh, honey, I've been down
431
00:19:52,176 --> 00:19:56,745
And down is where
I think I'm gonna stay.
432
00:19:59,183 --> 00:20:03,151
Ugh. Okay, you can sleep
it off on our couch.
433
00:20:03,187 --> 00:20:05,320
Well, thank you, sweetheart.
434
00:20:05,356 --> 00:20:07,289
Hey, what time do you
do your couch gags?
435
00:20:07,324 --> 00:20:10,015
Around 11:00 in the
morning. You'll be fine.
436
00:20:10,016 --> 00:20:16,516
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
437
00:20:19,753 --> 00:20:22,921
In the house next door to Flanders
438
00:20:22,957 --> 00:20:26,458
There's a devil boy
named Bart
439
00:20:26,493 --> 00:20:29,394
Fatso's lost his catso
440
00:20:29,430 --> 00:20:32,564
And the girl has
a great big heart
441
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:36,068
The curtains
all have corncobs
442
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:39,171
There's a sailboat
on the wall
443
00:20:39,206 --> 00:20:42,307
There's Selma and a Patty
and a grampa who is batty
444
00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:45,978
Apu and his Squishy,
the three-eyed fishie
445
00:20:46,013 --> 00:20:48,580
And they ain't aware
that I took the silverware
446
00:20:48,616 --> 00:20:51,950
From the house
next door to Flanders...
447
00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:57,756
Okay, everyone
into the tunnel.
448
00:20:57,791 --> 00:21:01,093
In the house
next door to Flanders
449
00:21:01,128 --> 00:21:03,762
Mom's hairdo scrapes the sky
450
00:21:03,797 --> 00:21:08,000
The baby don't say nothin'
451
00:21:08,035 --> 00:21:12,271
And no one wonders why...
452
00:21:12,306 --> 00:21:16,041
Oh, this place is dirtier
than the tunnel.
453
00:21:16,660 --> 00:21:18,660
Shh!

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