Prologue .............................................................................

1
Introduction ....................................................................... 4
CHAPTER 1: The Mindset and Behaviors That Kill A
Relationship ...................................................................... 16
WHAT MEN CONSIDER NEEDY
BEHAVIOR ............................................................................. 16
HOW NEEDINESS RUINS A
RELATIONSHIP ............................................................................ 21
HOW TO PREVENT NEEDINESS (AND BE THE WOMAN MEN CANT RESIST) ..................
25
HOW TO REDEEM YOURSELF FROM NEEDY
BEHAVIOR ..................................................... 32
CHAPTER 2: When a Seemingly Good
Connection/Relationship Goes Bad .................................. 38
WHY DIDNT HE TEXT
BACK? ..................................................................................................... 38
WHY DID HE
VANISH? ................................................................................................................. 45
WHEN A GUY ACTS DISTANT AND
WITHDRAWS ................................................................... 53
CHAPTER 3: When You Don't Know How He Feels About
You... ................................................................................ 64
HOW TO KNOW IF A GUY LIKES
YOU ....................................................................................... 64
HOW TO KNOW IF HE LOVES
YOU ............................................................................................ 69
HOW TO KNOW IF HES PLAYING YOU AND/OR JUST WANTS SEX ...................................
73
CHAPTER 4: When a Guy Wont Put a Label (Or a Ring) On
It ....................................................................................... 81
WHEN A GUY WONT CALL YOU HIS
GIRLFRIEND ................................................................ 82
WHEN HE WONT COMMIT ON
FACEBOOK ............................................................................. 93
WHEN HE ISNT
PROPOSING...................................................................................................... 95
CHAPTER 5: Dealing With A Guy With Baggage .............. 103
DEALING WITH A GUY WHO LOST HIS
JOB .......................................................................... 103
DATING A GUY ON THE
REBOUND ......................................................................................... 107
DATING A GUY WITH EMOTIONAL
BAGGAGE .................................................................... 113
WHEN TO WALK
AWAY ............................................................................................................... 119
CHAPTER 6: How to Get Him To Treat You Better And
Value You More ............................................................... 122
A LITTLE APPRECIATION GOES A LONG
WAY ...................................................................... 122
BE THE PRIZE AND HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE CAN TO WIN YOU OVER ....................
128
BONUS FOOTAGE ............................................................ 135
Final Thoughts ................................................................ 136
Prologue
1
Prologue
From Eric Charles
For the past decade, I have worked with both men and
women to
help them have the type of relationships theyve always
wanted.
Sometimes we met in person and locally; other times
we
communicated via e-email, phone, or Skype.
No matter what the method of communication, helping
people with
their relationships has always been my dream and
passion. Out of
everything Ive done to help people, writing the Ask a
Guy column
and other dating content for A New Mode has been the
most
rewarding experience of my life.
The reason I am able to do what I do now is not because
I started
off as an expert at dating or relationships. In fact, if
there were such a
thing as a dating report card, I would have scored a big
fat fail every
year from middle school until midway through college.
That being said, my failures were all necessary to make
me the
person I am today. In fact, it was those same failures
that gave me
the insight to pin down the root issues that were
causing me to screw
up. It was my failures that taught me about the sting of
heartache and
heartbreak, insecurity, jealousy, paranoia, and all the
other emotions
that can spring from the pursuit of love.
When Sabrina and I wrote this book, we wrote it for the
A New
Mode audiencean audience of loving and intelligent
women who
want happy and fulfilling relationships.
A lot of dating advice today has undertones (or blatant
expressions) of what I call the adversarial approach to
dating. In this
approach, men and women are not partners, but
adversaries. Its a
Prologue
2
game of man versus woman, where women are taught
to treat
different rewards as bargaining chips in the
relationship.
This brand of dating advice is usually littered with
subtle malebashing
and insidiously implants fears, cynicism, and bitterness
about
men into the hearts of the readers.
This kind of advice is disgusting to me since it puts a
woman in a
state of mind that is completely contrary to the goal
she had when
she entrusted that teacher with her wish to have a
happy and
fulfilling relationship with a man she loves.
This approach was invented by marketers whose intent
was to
reach into a womans psyche, agitate her worst fears,
and then
essentially scare her into buying more of their
poisonous advice.
Please forgive me for my passion in this area, but I truly
believe that
part of my mission as a dating advisor is to put an end
to the man
versus woman and woman versus man mentality that
pervades the
relationship advice arena.
When you have true knowledge of the workings of men
and
relationships, you can love freely. You wont feel jaded,
defensive,
and angry; rather, it you will feel open and connected to
your partner
and to the human race as a whole.
I think you would agree that you cannot know love, nor
have love
flow to or from you, when your guard is up. People with
high walls
around their psyche are the loneliest and most
defensive; and those
walls take root and grow from irrational fears. I think
youd also agree
that the best relationship advice is that which
eradicates those fears,
as opposed to exacerbating them.
One of our goals with this book is to show you that
many of your
fears are total illusions and the rest can be easily
handled or avoided
completely. When you realize that there is nothing to
fear, you will be
Prologue
3
able to finally lower your shield and be able to truly give
and receive
love.
This book is a distillation of the best of the best dating
and
relationship advice from A New Mode (anewmode.com).
The insights
shared on the site and in this book came from a
combination of
research, our own life experiences, and feedback from
thousands
upon thousands of readers who have applied our advice
and
experienced significant improvements in their lives and
relationships.
We have learned many lessons the hard way. Growth,
especially
growth that stems from pain, is uncomfortable, and
sometimes even
unbearable. It can help to remember that it is part of
the journey and
that there will come a day when you will reach ultimate
happiness
and fulfillment in the deepest sense, provided that you
always
remember that pain and suffering is the price for
learning, maturity,
and growth.
This book builds on itself to create a complete picture
and
approach to dating and relationships. Until you finish it
and view its
lessons as a complete approach, you will be missing
key elements.
While you could pick up this book and flip to a chapter
that directly
applies to your immediate situation, it is best that you
do not skip
around since core secrets and solutions are revealed in
a specifically
crafted sequence for your maximum learning and
growth.
At this point, I have said everything I needed to say to
set the tone
for this book. Lets begin.