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 11

Chapter1:AndThus,HiratsukasenseiSparksaNewConflict

Islammedasheafofpapersagainstthetable.Itscontentswereaseyebrow
raisingastheDeadSeaScrolls.

whatthehellisthis?

Itwasearlymorning.Asmyeyesfelloverthewordsonthepage,astrangechill
randownmyspine.Thecauseofthisuncomfortablesenseofdjvuwas,of
course,theoutlineforthenextvolumeofZaimokuzaYoshiterusenseisstory,
whichhehadputexcruciatingdetailinto.Wouldithavekilledhimtofinishthe
firstvolumebeforestartingthenextone?

Thestorymadenosensewhatsoever,andtherewereglaringplotholesjustfrom
theoutline.TheonlythingIlikedaboutitwasthattheprotagonistwasalone
swordsman.

Thosewhoareaboveeveryoneelseare,bydefinition,alone.Trueheroesare
loners.Tobealoneristohavestrength.Havingnoattachmenttoothersmeans
havingnothingtoprotect.Theurgetoprotectisbasicallynothingbutaweakness.
Achilles,theAncientGreekhero,andBenkei,themostpowerfulwarriormonk,
werebothdefeatedpreciselybecausetheyhadaweakness.Ifonlytheyhadno
weaknesses,theywouldundoubtedlyhavegonedowninhistoryasthevictors.

Itstoodtoreasonthatsomeonewhohasnoweaknesses,noburdensprotectand
noattachmenttoothersisthestrongestforthoseexactreasons.

Inotherwords,Iamthestrongest.

ThetrashysettingZaimokuzacameupwithrevolvedentirelyaroundhis
overpoweredswordsman,totheextentthathecameoffasahack.Everything
elsewascrap,soIwroteitinred.This.Is.Crap.there,allgood.

1
 11

Justasafeelingofblissfulsatisfactioncameovermefromdoingmyjob,mylittle
sisterKomachifinishedpreparingbreakfast.Sincebothourparentshadalready
leftforwork,onlyKomachiandIremainedinthelivingroom.

AnaproncladKomachisetdowntwoservingsofbreakfastwithaclatter.Ifyou
askme,wearinganapronoveratanktopandshortsisreallynotagoodidea.It
lookedlikeshewaswearinganakedapron.

Shesetdownthegoldenbrownsconesandcoffeerightinfrontofme.Oh,anda
jarofjamwasproppedupnexttothem.Theappetisingscentofperfectlycooked
sconesandthearomaofwellmadecoffeeresoundedbeautifully,playinga
musicalsuite.Thevariouskindsofjamsweresuite(getit?)aswellitwasaPretty
Curebreakfast1.

Itadakimasu,Isaid.

Yepyep,itschowtime,Komachisang.Itadakimasuformetoo.Thetwoofus
clappedourhandstogetherandthencrammedsconesintoourmouths.Iwent
forsomethingabitmoreexoticforbreakfasttoday.SconesareIngrish,arent
they?

whatsIngrishsupposedtobe?Somenewkillermove?

Nope,itmeanssuperEnglishy.

1
AreferencetoSuitePrettyCure,amagicalgirlanimeseriesaimedatyounggirls.Andifyoudidntget
Hachimanswordplay,suite=sweet.

2
 11

3
 11

Youserious?IthoughtforsureitwasBritish.

Noway,oniichan.TheresnosuchcountryasBritish.

EnglandisapartofGreatBritain,whichisknowninternationallyastheUnited
Kingdom.SoUKstylemeansBritish.Justabitoftriviaforyou.

Wwhatever!IngrishisaJapanesewordnow!Likegreatogdayo!

greatogdayodidntsoundlikeEnglishorJapanesetome.

IgnoringKomachislameexcuses,Ipickedupthecondensedmilk.Thatreminded
meyoucouldsayputtingcondensedmilkinyourcupanddrinkingitMAXCoffee
styleisChibaish,orChibashforshort.Whilewereatit,youcouldcalla
basketballanimesetinthenearfutureBasquash.

Youknow,Isaid,whenyouthinkofEnglishpeople,doesntgreyteacometo
mind?

Yeah,Iknow,butyoulikecoffeebetter,oniichan.Ithoughtthatwouldmakemy
Komachipointsgoup.

Mm.Ireckonyourpointswentupabit.Whenyouhaveapointsystem,itsnice
whenitseasytounderstand.

Evenbetterifthechoicesyesandnoweredisplayedclearly,alongwithher
affectionlevels.Theredbenosuchthingasmisunderstandingsifyouchoseno
andyoucouldclearlyseeheraffectionlevelsgoingdown,sogivinguponher
wouldbeaneasymatter.Thatalonewouldsavecountlesshaplessboys,Ican
assureyou.

AsIutteredmyanswer,stirringmy(fake)MAXCoffee,Komachidroppedher
sconewithastart.Herfacewaspaleandhershoulderstrembledallover.

Ooniichan,youreactingweird

Huh?

4
 11

Itsstrange!Usually,yougetannoyedandtreatmelikeanidiotwhenIsaythis
sortofstuff.Ifeelyourlovethroughyourcoldness!

Andyoucallmeweird.Justhowsensitivewasshe?

Anyway,thatwasajoke.

SoKomachisaid,butitwasscarythatIcouldnttellhowmuchofitwasreallya
joke.Ifmylittlesisterwasapervertwhogotoffonbeinggiventhecoldshoulder,
thenIhadnoideahowtointeractwithherfromnowon.Itbotheredme.It
seemedasifsnubbinghereverydayhadmadeherpointsgoupsteadily.What
waswiththiswarpedsiblinglove?

Oniichan,youvebeenweirdlately,youknow?Youvegotnoambition?Thats
normalforyou,though.Igotityoureyeslookoff?Buttheywerelikethatfrom
thebeginning.Uh,yourcomebacksarehalfassed?Thatsalsoprettymuch
inborn.Hm.Anyway,youreactingweird!

Eitherinsultmeorshowyourconcernforme.Pickone.Icouldntdecide
whethershelovedmeorhatedme.Anyway,itsbeenhumidlately.Itseasyfor
thingstogooffyoureyesandyournature.

Ooh,whatyousaidisprettytrue!

Komachisplainshowofadmirationkindofbotheredmealittle.Ipuffedoutmy
chestandchuckledboastfully,butwhenIthoughtaboutit,shehadactuallysaid
somethingfairlymeanspiritedtome,hadntshe?

But,youknow,itsawfularoundJune,Iwenton.Nopublicholidays,itrainsa
lot,anditskindahumid.TheycallJunethemonthofjoy,buttheresnothing
joyfulaboutit.Whatsupwiththat?

Youjustsuck.

IIsee

5
 11

Komachiwasasurprisinglyharshjudge.Itwasstrangelyalienatingforsomething
yousaidsoproudlytobeutterlydenied.IthinkIunderstoodHiratsukasenseis
feelingsalittlebetternow.

SpeakingofHiratsukasensei,IrealisedIhadtogetgoingtoschoolaboutnow.Id
besubjectedtoherironfistaspunishmentyetagainifIwaslate.Iscoffeddown
theremainderofmysconeandslurpeddownmyChibaishcoffee.

Igottagonow,IcalledouttoKomachi.

Oh,Illgowithyou.Hercheeksbulgingwithsconeslikeasquirrelsface,
Komachieagerlystartedchangingherclothes.Ivetoldherthisbefore,butcould
shepleasenotchangeinfrontofme?

Imgoingahead.

AsKomachisdrawnoutgroansoundedbehindme,Iwalkedouttheentranceand
intotheoutsideworld,wherethedistinctivemuggyatmosphereoftherainy
seasonwrappeditselfaroundmelikeacoil.

Eversincetheworkplacetour,Icouldnotrecallseeinganopenbluesky.

6
 12

12

Themuggyairlingeredinsidetheschoolbuilding.Thediscomfortwasfurther
exacerbatedbythecrowdthathadgatheredaroundtheentranceinthemorning
rushtoschool.

Thewordlonermakesyouthinkofsomeonehidinginadarkcorner,butwhen
youreachedmylevelofloner,youdratherwearyourlonerqualitiesonyour
sleeve.Andso,asIstoodaloneatschool,mysurroundingsformedanairpocket
liketheeyeofahurricane.

Ithadtobetoughonpeoplewithfriends,whatwiththehumidityfrombeing
surroundingbysomanypeoplecausingtheproteinintheirbodiestoriseabove
36degrees.Alonercouldspendtheentirerainyseasoninsummerwithabnormal
levelsofcomfort.Withgoodventilation,theycouldliveapeacefulschoollife.

AsIwaschangingintomyindoorshoesattheentrance,Ilookedupand
encounteredafamiliarface.

Oh

Yuigahama,whowasfittingonapairofloafers,avertedherface.Sheseemed
awfullylost.

Ididntlookaway.Yo,Icalledouttoherinmyusualtoneofvoice.

um,hi.

Andwithoutsayinganythingmore,Islungmyschoolbagovermyshoulder.

Betweenthetwoofus,onlyonesetoffootstepssoundedagainstthelinoleum
floor.Andthosefootstepswereswallowedupbythesoundsofeveryoneelses
footsteps.

7
 12

ThedelicatesituationbetweenYuigahamaandIhadnotchangedoverSaturday
andSunday,anditwentonandonforsomedaysafterthatuntilbeforeweknew
it,itwasFriday.

Shedidnthollersomemorninggreetingatme,andwedidntwalksidebysideall
thewayuptotheclassroom.Wehadreturnedtoanexceedinglyuneventfullife,
justthesameasbefore.

Okay.Idplayeditcool.Everythingwasbacktosquareone.

Originally,alonerexistednottogetinotherpeoplesway.Theycouldnthurt
peopletheywereneverinvolvedwith.Theywereaclean,ecofriendly,LOHAS
approvedorganism1.

IregainedmypeaceofmindbypressingtheresetbuttonandYuigahamawasfree
toreturntoherriajuulife,nolongerconstrainedbyhersenseofguilt.Byall
accounts,itwasnotthewrongchoicetotake.Youcouldevensayitwastheright
choice.

Therewasreallynoneedforhertobenicetomeoversavingherdog.Thatwas
justathingofchance.Itwasonthesamelevelaspickingupsomeoneslost
walletorgivingupaseatforanelderlyperson.Afterwards,youdsmileto
yourselfandsay,Whoa!Ididasupergooddeed!NowIknowhowallthose
idioticshowoffsfeel!Thatwasallitamountedto.

Therewasnoneedtokeeponworryingoveracoincidenceofthatscale,and
sinceIwasfatedtobecomealoneranywayafterenrolling,thatwasallthemore
reasonnottoworryaboutme.

SoIwouldendthematterhere.Hittingresetandgoingbacktoourordinarylives
wasforthebest.Lifehasnoresetbutton,butyoucanresetyourrelationships.
Source:me.Notasingleclassmatefrommiddleschoolevercontactedmewait,
thatwasadeletion,notareset.Heh.

1
LOHAS=LifestylesofHealthandSustainability.Itreferstoconsumerswhoseekecofriendlylifestyles.

8
 13

13

Sixthperiodfinallyendedafterboringmetotears.

SinceIwasasteadyanddiligentstudent,Ididnttalktoanyoneduringclassand
spentthetimeinsilence.Incidentally,sixthperiodwasanoralcommunication
class,soIwasforcedtoconverseinEnglishtothepersonsittingnexttome.But
themomentitbegan,thegirlnexttomestartedplayingwithherphone.I
thoughtIwouldgettoldoffbytheteacherwhowaslookingaround,butshe
didntnoticemethankstomyuniqueskilloferasingmypresence,soIcouldrelax.
Iexpectednolessofmyself.

exceptIcouldntactuallyturnthatskilloff.

Evenafterhomeroom,myskillcontinuedtofunctionimpeccablyandnoone
noticedmyexistenceasIpackedmyschoolbagunobtrusively.WhatwasI,aspy?

Crap.ThoseCIAscoutsmightcomeforme.IfIgotitwrongandtheAICscouts
cameinstead,IwouldntbecomplainingIdmakeaTenchiMuyoOVA1.

Asthosethoughtswentthroughmymind,asillycommotionwasunfolding
behindme,asifsaying,Thisisyouth!

Thesportsclubmemberswerepumpingthemselvesupbytalkingshitabouttheir
oldermembersandadvisorforawhileastheyidlypreparedfortheirclub
activities.

Thecultureclubmemberswereexchangingpleasantsmilesandchattingabout
whattheybroughtforsnackstoday.

Thentherewerethosewhodidntbelongtoanyclubatall,talkinglanguidlyto
eachotherabouthowtheyplannedtospendtheirfreetime.

1
AICisananimestudio.TenchiMuyoisaclassicharemanimeseries.OVAstandsforOriginalVideo
Animation.

9
 13

Amongthemwasapersonmessingaboutinaconspicuouslyloudvoice.The
soccerclubsadvisoristakingadayoff.Imtotesjealous!

Casuallylookingup,InoticedHayamaandhisfriends,amixedgendergroup
whichconsistedofsevenpeople.Theywerebuncheduptogetherandsittingina
circle,yabberingaway.

Amongthem,Ookafromthebaseballclub(thevirginfencesitter)revealedhis
dissatisfaction.Tothat,Yamatofromtherugbyclub(theairyfairyone)noddedin
agreement.

Tobe(theeasilyexcitedone)promptlybrokeoutintoaruckusaboutit.Ohcrap,
butyouguysandyourclubactivitiescrackmeup!Damn.WhatamIgonnado?
WhatamIgonnado?

Illleaveittoyou.AsMiuraplayedwithhercellphoneinherrighthandwith
palpabledisinterest,sheyankedonTobesdrillshapedhairwithherlefthand.
EbinasanandYuigahamatrailedbehindher.Thequeenwasrulingwithheriron
fistasusual.

TobewassuddenlyfiredupuponbeingmanhandledbyMiura.Oh!SoisBaskin
Robbinsorsomethingnogood?Oristhatnotnogood?

Inthatmoment,Miuraclosedhercellphonewithasnap.Hm?Nah.

shewasntleavingittohimatall!

Withoutthinking,Ididamentaltsukkomitotheirconversation2.Everyday,Iwas
honingmylonertsukkomiskills.

Inadvertently,myeyeswentovertoMiuraandtheothers.WhenIdidthat,my
eyesmetwithYuigahama,whowasamongthem.

Shesaidnothing.Isaidnothing.

2
Atsukkomiisthestraightmanwhopointsoutthestupidityofwhatheseesaroundhim.

10
 13

Eventhoughwewereawareofeachotherspresences,nowordswerespoken,
andwejustfurtivelyglancedateachother.

Itwasprettymuchlikewhenyouusedthestationinyourhometownandyou
comeacrossyourmiddleschoolclassmateattheotherentranceoftheplatform.

Yourealise,Ohcrap,itsOofunakunandtheotherguyislike,Uhwhoare
youagain?HiHikimeh,screwit.Hejustgaveuptryingtoremembermy
name,thebastard.

Anyway,thatwashowitwas.IitwasntasiftheotherpersondidntknowwhoI
wasIjusthadagoodmemory.Mybrainissuperb.Lonersaresurprisinglygood
atrememberingpeoplesnames.Itwasbecausewhenevertheygotspokento,
theirheartswouldbeatlikecrazy.

MymemorywassogoodthatIrememberedthenameofagirlIdneverspoken
toonce.WhenIcalledouttoher,herfacecontortedwithfear.Howdoesthis
guyknowmyname?ImscaredButthatsenoughofthatstory.

Anyway,inthatmomenttherelationshipbetweenYuigahamaandIwaslikethat
ofmasterfencersgaugingtheirdistancefromeachother.Theatmospherewas
thatofatemporarystalemate.

TheonewhobrokethatpeculiaratmospherewasMiura.

Ireckonweshouldgobowlingafterall.

Withoutanylogicalreasonforit,EbinanoddedattheproposalMiuracameup
with.Igetit!Thepinsdefinitelylooklikepe

Ebina,shutthehellup.Wipeyournosebleed,adisgustedMiurasaidasshe
handedEbinaatissue.Coverituporsomething.

GivingoutatissuewasasurprisinglykindgestureonMiuraspart,butnomatter
howyoulookedatit,itwasoneofthosetissuespeoplegaveoutonthestreet
advertisingadatingservice,soitwaskindofadelicatesituation.

11
 13

Bowlingistotallyawesome!Man,Icanteventhinkofanythingbesides
bowling!

Iknow,right?MiuradidavictorytwirluponseeingTobeagreewithher.

ButHayamastrokedhischinsomewhatthoughtfully,asifhedidnotthinkthe
sameway.Butwedidthatlastweektoowhydontweplaydartsorsomething
sinceitsbeenages?

Miurachangedhertuneinaflash.Ifyousayso,Hayato,shesang.Howtwo
facedcouldyouget?

Shallwego,then?Hayamasaidashestoodupfromhischairandbeganto
walk.TellmeifanyofyouhaventplayedbeforesoIcanteachyou.

Miura,TobeandEbinasanfollowedhim.But,uponnoticingsomeoneelsetrailing
behind,Miuraturnedaroundandcalledouttoher.

Yui,whatareyoudoing?Comeon!

oh,uhum,okay!Comingnow!

Yuigahama,whohadbeenapassiveparticipantintheconversationupuntilthen,
clutchedherschoolbagasifstartledintomovement.Shestoodupandbrokeout
intoahalfrun,butwhenshepassedmebytheside,herstepsslowed.

Wasshecaughtinindecision,perhaps?AboutwhethersheshouldgowithMiura
andtheothersasshewasdoingnoworwhethersheshouldgototheService
Clubinstead?Iwouldntbesurprisedshewasanicegirl.Eventhoughshehadno
reasontocareaboutme.

Andyet,eventhoughItoldhernottoworry,hereshewascaughtintheprecipice
betweenhertwoworldsandagonisingoverit.

Thiswasnthowthingsweresupposedtobe.Lonersnevercausedotherpeople
trouble.

12
 13

Idecidedtoleavethisplaceaheadofher.HikigayaHachimanwithdrawscoolly3.I
wastoocoolforschool,ifyouwanttoknowhowcoolIwas.

COOL!COOL!COOL!

AsIdidmyverybesttoavoidlookinginYuigahamasdirection,Ifurtivelyslipped
outoftheclassroom.

3
AreferencetoamemefromJojosBizarreAdventure:Speedwagonwithdrawscoolly.

13
 14

14

Inthespecialroomonthefourthfloor,YukinoshitaYukinowassittinginher
normalspotintheveryheartoftheServiceClubwithherusualcold,unchanging
expression.

Whatwasdifferentaboutherwasthatshewasreadingafashionmagazinerather
thanherusualpaperbacknovel.Howuncharacteristicofher.

IfIcouldputmyfingeronsomethingelsethathadchanged,itwasthatshehad
shiftedovertothesummerdresscode.Insteadofherblazer,shewaswearingthe
schoolprescribedsummervest.Schoolprescribedwasasynonymfortacky
looking,butYukinoshitagaveoffarefinedairwhensheworeit,andshelooked
mysteriouslygoodinit.

Yo,Isaid.

Yukinoshitaletoutashort,tersesigh.Oh,itsyou,Hikigayakun.Hereyes
instantlydroppedtothefashionmagazine.

Um,couldyoustopreactinglikeagirlIdjustbeenassignedtositnextto?That
actuallykindofhurt.

Thereisnoschooleventthatbreedstraumalikeseatchanging.Itbringsoutthe
seedsoftraumainyournormaleasygoinglifestyle.No,itdoesntactuallycreate
drama,butitsallverynastysinceitbringsoutpeoplestruenatures.

Themonthlyseatchangesareprettymuchaprimeexampleofthat.

Seriously,whydotheytreatmelikeabadsmellwhenIhaventevendone
anythingwrong?Theydrawlotsandwhentheyenduphavingtositnexttome
theymoanovertheirbadluck,geez.

Soyouacknowledgethattheseatnexttoyouisthemostunappealing

14
 14

Ididntsayitwasthemostunappealing,perse.Thatwasyourown
embellishment.

Iapologise.ImafraidIwasntthinking,Yukinoshitasaidwithasmallgiggle.
(Herlackofawarenesswaswhatcausedsomuchunnecessarypain,though)I
spokeagainjustnowwithoutthinking,sopleasedontmindit.Ithoughtforsure
youweretalkingaboutYuigahamasan.

Oh,sothatshowitis,huh?

Yukinoshitahadagoodreasonforthinkingthewayshedid.Yuigahamahadnt
showedherfaceattheclubroomforthepastfewdays.PerhapsYukinoshitahad
beenhopingYuigahamawouldcometoday.

Thedaybeforeyesterdayshehadaphysicalexaminationatthevets,and
yesterdayshehadsomeerrandstorunathomeYukinoshitawhisperedquietly
asshegazedatthescreenofhercellphone.Shewasprobablylookingatthetext
messagesYuigahamahadsentherthemessagesthathadneverreachedme.

Likeclockwork,IfoundmyselfwonderingifYuigahamawouldcometoclub
activitiestoday.Ifshedid,therewasnodoubtshedactstifflyaroundmeasshe
didthismorning.

Iknewalltoowellwhatwouldresultfromthiskindofinteraction.Wedendup
sortofdriftingawayfromeachotherandnotreallycommunicateanymore,and
eventually,wedstopseeingeachotheraltogether.Source:me.

Myelementaryschoolclassmates,mymiddleschoolclassmatesitwashowI
stoppedseeingallofthem.Thesamethingwouldprobablyhappenwith
Yuigahama.

Itwasquietintheclubroom.

TheonlynoisethatcouldbeheardwastheflimsysoundofYukinoshitaturning
thepagesofhermagazine.

15
 14

16
 14

Thatremindedme.Ourclubhadbeenfullofruckuslately.Inthebeginning,when
onlyYukinoshitaandIwerearound,silencehadreigned.Whenitdidnt,thetwo
ofuswerejustabusingeachother.

Inonlyoneortwomonths,thishadallbecomeathingofthepast,andasIgazed
vacantlyatthedoor,Yukinoshitaopenedhermouthasifshehadseenright
throughme.IfyoureexpectingYuigahamasan,shewontbecomingtoday.I
justreceivedatextfromher.

IIseennotlikeIwasworryingaboutYuigahamaoranything!

Idontunderstandyournegativetone

Asthereliefwashedoverme,Itookmyattentionawayfromthedoorandlooked
atYukinoshita.Shewassighingsoftly.

IwonderifYuigahamasannolongerintendstocome

Whydontyouaskher?

YuigahamawasstillkeepingincontactwithYukinoshita,soshewouldprobably
answerYukinoshitaifsheasked.

ButYukinoshitashookherheadweakly.Iwontgothatfar.IfIaskedher,she
wouldprobablyanswerthatshewouldcome.Evenif,perhaps,shedidnotwant
toshewouldmostlikelydoitanyway.

Yeah,Iguess

YuigahamaYuiwasthatkindofperson.Sheprioritisedotherthingsoverherown
feelings.Andsoshewouldeventalktoalonerandcomeovertoyouifyoutexted
her.

Butthatwaskindnessandsympathyandmereobligation.Andyetthatwasallit
tookforaboywithlowexperiencepointstomisunderstandher.Hhuh?Ccould
itbethatshelikesme?Itwasalltooeasytobecomeaburdentoher.Iwish
thesethingswereeasiertocometotermswith,Ireallydo.

17
 14

Perhapswedallbebetteroffiftextsfromgirlsweregeneratedbyanautomated
softwareprogramandwritteninstiff,formalJapanese.Inthatcase,boys
wouldntbeagonisingoverunrealisticexpectations.

wait.Icouldtotallymakemoneyoffthis.

AsIwasfantasisingaboutmakingmyfortuneinonestroke,Yukinoshitastaredat
mesilently.Beinggazedatsointentlymademyheartpound.Withfear.

Yyouwantsomething?

didsomethinghappenbetweenyouandYuigahamasan?

Nah,nothing,Iansweredpromptly.

Ifitwasnothing,IdontbelieveYuigahamasanwouldstopcoming.Didyouhave
afight?

No,wedidnt.Ithink.IclammedupinadvertentlyatwhatYukinoshitasaid.

Only,itwasntalie.Ihadnowayofjudgingwhetheritwasafightornot.Iwasnt
closeenoughtoanyonetohaveafightwiththeminthefirstplace.Lonersare
pacifists,yousee.Beforenonresistancecomesnoncontact.Ifyouthinkaboutit
fromahistoricalperspective,ImprettymuchGandhi.

TheonlykindoffightIknewaboutwassiblingsquabbles,andthatwasallhistory
bythetimeIfinishedelementaryschool.Komachiwouldinvariablytellourdadon
meandthatwouldknockoutallmylifepointsbeforethefightevenbegan.Ifwe
foughtwhenourfatherwasntaround,shedactivatehertrapcard(read:our
mother),anditwouldbemylossanyway.

Myparentswouldlectureme,andthenatdinnerwedmakeupandsitclose
togetheratthetable,andthatwouldbetheendofoursiblingsquabble.

AsIcontemplatedallofthis,Yukinoshitaopenedhermouthagainasifoncue.
Yuigahamasanisindiscreteandhasnodignity.Sheblurtsthingsoutwithout
thinking,sheconstantlyintrudesonsomeoneelsespersonalspace,sheliestoget
outoftrouble,andshesnoisy.

18
 14

Youretheonewhosoundslikesheshavingafightwithher

Yuigahamawouldprobablycryifsheheardallofthat.

Dontinterruptme.Shehasmanyshortcomings,butbutsheisnotabad
person.

Predictablyenough,shehadbeenlistingYuigahamasshortcomingsbefore
concludingshewasntabadpersonandthatherfaultswerentserious.Yetwhen
Isawhowsheblushedandlookedawayfurtivelyashermurmuringvoicetrailed
offintosilence,IunderstoodthatthiswasthehighestcomplimentYukinoshita
hadeveruttered.Yuigahamawouldprobablycryifsheheardallofthatfrom
happiness.

Nah,Igetittoo.Werenotreallyfightingoranything.Youcanonlyhaveafight
withsomeoneifyoureclosetotheminthefirstplace,prettymuch.Soitwasnt
reallyafightbutmorelike

AsItrailedoffandscratchedmyheadfuriously,Yukinoshitaputahandonher
chinincontemplation.Adispute,perhaps?

Ah,closebutnocigar.Notabadguess,Isuppose.

Abattle,then?

Gettingcolder.

Aslaughterthen.

Werentyoulistening?Yourewayoff.

Whywasshethinkingofprogressivelymoreviolentsituations?Herinstinctswere
waytoomuchlikeOdaNobunagas.

Soyouwerehavingcommunicationissues,perhaps?

Mm,moreorless.

19
 14

Thathadtobeit.WeweregettingtheMasayukimap1.Therewasthisonetimein
middleschoolwhentheclasswasusingwirelesscommunicationsandtheywere
alllike,Whoisthis8man?

Butman,Ireallywishtheywouldquititwiththewirelesscommunication
functioningames.Imstillokaywithplayingcompetitivelyonthenet,butagame
basedaroundfacetofacecommunicationwasdeathtolonersforsure.Thanks
tothat,IwasntabletoevolvemyPokemonandcompletemyPokedex.

Isee.Soitcantbehelped.Yukinoshitaclosedhermagazinewithasmallsigh.
Behindhernonchalantwords,herattitudewasresigned,andsheseemedsovery
frail.

Withthat,shestoppedaskingquestions.YukinoshitaandIkeptupourusual
distance.

Thewayweheldontoouremotionaldistancewasprobablyrathersimilar.Itwas
quiterareforhertoencroachonsomeonesprivacybygossipingorfocusingon
oneaspectaboutthem.Howoldareyou?Wheredoyoulive?Whensyour
birthday?Doyouhavesiblings?Wheredoyourparentswork?Idnever
heardheraskthosesortsofthingsherself.

Icouldsuspectanynumberofreasonsforthat.Perhapsshehadlittleinterestin
thehobbiesofothers,orperhapsshedidntwanttosteponanylandmines.Or
perhapsshewasjustbadataskingquestions,aslonerstendtobe.Withoutany
logicalreasonbehindit,askingquestionsmadethemextremelyuncomfortable.

Withoutpryingorsteppingonsomeonestoes,theysizeeachotheruplike
swordsmeninaduel.

Youknowhowitisinthesesituations.Itsthoseonceinalifetimeencounters.If
theresameetingtheresalwaysabreakup.

1
AmapfullofraremonstersinDragonQuestIX,whichplayerscanobtainbyusingtheNintendoDS
wirelesscommunications.

20
 14

Prettywords,butyougotthemeaningmixedupYukinoshitasaiddisgustedly,
butreally,lifeisfulloftheseonceinalifetimeencounters.

Itwaslikethattimebackinelementaryschool,whensomeofmyclassmates
weretransferringtoanotherschool.Evenwhentheypromisedtowriteletters,I
wastheonlyonetheydidntreplytoandIneversentthemanotherletter.Idid
getareplyfromKenjikun,though

Awisemandoesnotcourtdanger;hedoesnotoutstayhiswelcome.Thatwas
probablytheonlywaynottolosetorisks.

Andyetstayingconnectedtopeopleisindeedasurprisinglydifficultmatter,
Yukinoshitawhispered.Bondscanbreaksoeasilyfromsuchatrivialthing.

Hereyeswelledwithpaindirectedatherself.

Atthatmoment,thedoorsuddenlyswungopenwithcreak.

Butyoucanalsofixthosetrivialthings,Yukinoshita.Itsstillnottimetogiveup.

Thepersonspoutingcoollinesatrandomasshewalkedtowardsus,herwhite
coatfluttering,wasnoneotherthanmyswornenemyHiratsukasensei.

Sensei,knockfirst

CompletelydisregardingYukinoshitasdemand,Hiratsukasenseisurveyedthe
room.Hm.SoYuigahamahasntturnedupforaweeknow,huhIthoughtyou
guyswouldhavedonesomethingaboutitbynow.Donttellmeyouhadaserious
illnesstillnow.Howlikeyou,shesaidwithmisplacedadmiration.

Um,senseiwhatdoyouwant?Iasked.

Oh,right.Hikigaya,Itoldyouaboutitbeforeabouttheconditionsforyour
hypotheticalcontest.

21
 14

Hearingthewordcontestmademeremember.Indeed,itwassomethingabout
decidingwhowasbetterathelpingpeopleYukinoshitaorme.Robattle2!

ThatkindofthingnotRobonpon3.Inamannerverymuchreminiscentofagame
company,Hiratsukasenseihadannouncedthatshewantedtochangepartofthe
rules.Herbusinesstodayprobablyhadsomethingtodowiththesenewrulesof
hers.

Icametopresentthenewrules.Hiratsukasenseifoldedherarmsandtowered
overus.YukinoshitaandIfixedourposturesandsatupattentively.

Lookingatthetwoofusinturn,Hiratsukasenseisighedinsatisfaction.Herlaid
backbehaviourarousedfeelingsofanxietyinmeinstead.Itwassosilentyou
couldhearapindrop.

Inordertobreaktheoverwhelmingsilence,Hiratsukasenseiopenedhermouth
solemnly.

Youkilleachotherofftillthere'sonlyoneleft4.

2
AreferencetothebattlecallinMedabots.IreferredtotheterriblycornyEnglishdubforthis.
3
AGameboyColorgameserieswithabattlesystemalotlikePokemons.
4
AquotefromBattleRoyale.

22
 15

15

howold.

YouwouldntevenseethatonFridayRoadshowthesedays1.Also,whydidthey
keepshowingrerunsofLaputa?IalreadyhadtheDVD.GedohGed2.(Ihadnt
actuallyboughtthatmovie.)

Cometothinkofit,highschoolersthesedayswouldntevenknowthatmovie,I
thoughtasIlookedatYukinoshita.YukinoshitawaslookingatHiratsukasensei
withthesortofcoldgazeyoudnormallyreservefortrashontheroadside.

WithkeenunderstandingofwhatYukinoshitaspiercingglaremeant,Hiratsuka
senseicoughedsheepishly.Ahem.Aanyway!Toputitsimply,itsmakinguseof
therulesofBattleRoyale.Havingathreewaybattleisasurefirewayof
lengtheningabattlemanga.Basically,thatshowthearcsworkinY@iba3.

Yetanotherclassictitle

Sinceitsathreewaybattleroyale,naturallytherewillbealliancestoo.Notonly
willyouguysbefendingeachotheroff,youdalsodowelltolendeachotheryour
strength.

Isee.Itwastruethatconspiringwiththeweakercombatantsandkillingthemoff
laterwasanestablishedtacticinabattleroyale.

SowhatyouaresayingisthatHikigayakunwillalwaysbefightingwitha
disadvantage

Prettymuch.Iacceptedthatscenariowithoutanyresistance.Nomatterhow
youthoughtaboutit,itwasgoingtoendupasamevstwoarrangement.

1
ATVshowdedicatedtoweekendmovies.
2
AreferencetoTalesofEarthsea,afilmbyStudioGhibli,thesamestudiowhichmadeLaputa.
3
AreferencetoYaiba,anoldshonenmangaaboutasamurai.

23
 15

But,oppositeofmyresignedattitude,Hiratsukasenseiletoutafearlesssmile.
Resteasy.Thistime,newmemberscanberecruitedatwill.Ofcourse,youllbe
theonesdoingtherecruiting.Inotherwords,youcanincreaseyournumberof
comradesthroughyouractions.Gottacatchemall!Aimfor151!

Hiratsukasenseispokewithsuchauthorityonthesubject,butthenumberof
comradesshementionedreallyshowedherage.Itwascloserto500thesedays,
youknow.

Butcomeon,increasingyournumberofcomradeswaseasiersaidthandone.

Eitherway,theserulesputHikigayakunatadisadvantage,Yukinoshitasaid.
Heisunfitforrecruiting.

ThatsabitrichcomingfromyouIsaid.

What,Imjustaskingyoutorecruitoneperson,Hiratsukasenseiinsisted.
Dontthinktoohardaboutit.

Well,whensheputitthatwayshewasright.Itwasntreallyaboutbeingthevery
best,likenooneeverwas.

Actually,theonewhowastheverybestatthissortofthingwasYuigahama,who
wasntaroundanymore.Asifrealisingthattoo,Hiratsukasenseisexpression
cloudedslightly.

Cometothinkofit,thatYuigahamahasntbeencomingaroundthesedaysthis
isagoodopportunity.Evenifitmeansfillingavacantposition,yououghtto
embracethischancetoacquireanewclubmember,Hiratsukasenseisaid,
promptingYukinoshitatoliftherfaceinsurprise.

Holdonjustasecond.ItsnotasifYuigahamasanqu

Itsthesamethingifshenevershowsup.I,forone,havenouseforaghostclub
member.

AssoonasIsawthelookonherface,thepleasantatmospherefrombefore
vanished.YukinoshitaandIrecoiledfromHiratsukasenseiscold,hardgaze.

24
 15

Youguysarecaughtupinsomemisunderstanding,arentyou?Shedidnotsay
itlikeaquestion.Fromthewayshephrasedit,itwasanimplicitreprimandmeant
tostirupguiltinus.

YukinoshitaandIfellsilentwithoutanswering,andHiratsukasenseiwenton.

Thisisnotaclubforyoutoplayfriendsies.Gosomewhereelseforthatwishy
washyteenagenonsense.Yourehereinthisclubtochangeyourselvesforthe
better.Itsnotaplacetogetcomplacentandlietoyourselves.

Silence.

Herlipspursedtightly,YukinoshitafurtivelyavoidedHiratsukasenseiseyes.

TheServiceClubisntagame.ItisarecognisedclubactivityatSoubuHigh
School.And,asyouguysknow,youonlydealwithunmotivatedpeopleuntil
compulsoryeducationisover.Peoplecametothisplaceoutoftheirownvolition,
andthosewithoutthededicationhavenochoicebuttoleave.

Motivationanddedication,huh?

EexcusemecanIpleaseleavesinceIdonthavethemotivationnorthe
dedication?

Youthinkyouhaveanychoiceinthematterwhenyourebeingpunished?
Hiratsukasenseicrackedherfistsandglaredatme.

IIthoughtasmuchSoIreallycouldntrunawayfromthis,huh

Aftershewasdonesubjectingmetoherlightintimidation,Hiratsukasensei
turnedtoYukinoshita.EvenasYukinoshitaremainedstonyfaced,itwaseasyto
seehowdisgruntledshewas.

Havingnoticedthat,Hiratsukasenseismiledsomewhatuneasily.Butyouknow,
thankstoYuigahama,Inowseethatthereisapositivecorrelationbetweenclub
activitiesandmembercount.Itwouldbegoodtohaveanothermemberto
balancethingsout.WiththatinmindyouhaveuntilMondaytofinda
replacementpossessingthemotivationanddedicationtobeinthisclub.

25
 15

AmotivatedanddedicatedpersonbyMondaythatsnotallorderhey,wont
thisendwithmegettingeatenbyawildcat?

YoureallylikeMiyazawaKenji4Yukinoshitaremarked.

Itwasanexchangethatcouldonlyoccurbetweenthethirdandfirstranked
studentsinJapaneserespectively.

IfMondaywasthedeadline,though,thenweonlyhadfourdaysifweincluded
todayandMondayitself.FindingsomeonemotivatedtojointheServiceCluband
dedicatedtochangingthemselvesforthebetterinthatspanoftimewasan
extremelytoughtask,inmyopinion.Whatwasthis?Thetaleofthebamboo
cutter?Ah,sothismightbewhyHiratsukasenseicouldntgetmarried.Justlike
Kaguyahime,shedhavetoleavehomesoonerorlater5.

YoutyrantIsaidbitterly.Thewordscameouteasily.

Hiratsukasenseismiledbroadly.Imsorryyouthinkthatway.Thisismywayof
beingnicetoyou.

Idontseeanyniceness

Itsfineifyoudontseeit.Right,todaysclubactivitiesareover.Timetothink
aboutgettingthejobdone,HiratsukasenseisaidasshepushedYukinoshitaand
meoutoftheroom.Assheslammedthedoorshut,ourschoolbagsfelltothe
flooroutsidetheroom.

Shelockedthedoorpromptly,andwiththatshestartedwalkingawaybriskly.

4
MiyazawaKenjiisapopularchildrensauthor.ThereferenceistoTheRestaurantofManyOrders,a
shortstorywhichyoucanreadinEnglishhere.
5
TheTaleoftheBambooCutterisafamousJapanesefolktaleaboutPrincessKaguya,whooriginated
fromthemoon.Shemusteventuallyreturntowhereshecamefrom,andsosherefusestomarryanyof
therichlordsandeventheemperorhimself.Toavoidmarrying,sheinventsimpossibletasksforher
suitors.

26
 15

Yukinoshitacalledouttoherback.Hiratsukasensei.Iwanttoconfirmonething,
andthatiswhetherwearepermittedtofillthevacancywithanyone,arewe
not?

Indeed,Yukinoshita.Andwithsingle,shortstatement,Hiratsukasenseileft.

Only,whenshelookedbackoverhershoulder,Icouldseeasortofsmileonher
face.

AswewavedHiratsukasenseioff,YukinoshitaandIlookedateachother.

So,howdoyouplantofillthevacancy?Iasked.

Whoknows.IhaveneveronceinvitedsomeonesoIwouldntknow.ButIdo
happentoknowsomeoneclosetojoining.

Who?Totsuka?Totsuka,right?IthastoTotsuka.

Therewasnooneelsewhocametomind.IcouldthinkofnothingbutTotsuka.

YukinoshitaregardedmyboundlesspassionforTotsukawithboredom.Wrong.
Althoughhemightjoinifaskedshemused.Istherenotasimplerway?

SoYukinoshitasaid,buttherereallywerentthatmanyotherpeoplewhospoke
tous.WhenIreallythoughtaboutit,IsupposetherewasHayamaHayato,oneof
therarepureriajuu.Hemighthelpusoutifweasked,Iguess.ButIdoubtedhe
fulfilledthemotivatedanddedicatedcategories.Ireallycouldntthinkofanyone
else.Hm?Zaimokuza?Whatfunnyspellingforaname.Sowhowasheagain?

AsIlostinterestinthattrainofthought,Yukinoshitalookedatmeandletouta
smallsigh.

Youdontgetit?ImtalkingaboutYuigahamasan.

Huh?Bbuthasntshequit?Isaid.

Yukinoshitaflickedherhairoverhershoulderandlookedatmewithan
undeniablysteelygaze.There,Icouldseenoneoftheresignationshehadshown
upuntilnow.

27
 15

Sowhat?sheasked.Weonlyneedtogethertojoinagain.Hiratsukasensei
didsayitwasfineaslongasthevacancywasreplaced.

Yeah,Iguess

Indeed,fillingthevacancywouldsolvetheproblem.Still,thelackofmotivation
wasaspannerintheworks.Inanycase,Yuigahamawouldnevercomebythe
clubroominthefirstplaceunlesswefixedhermotivation.

Yukinoshitaseemedtohaverealisedthisherself,becauseshestrokedherchin
tentatively.Inanycase,shesaidafterapause,Illtrytocomeupwithawayto
getYuigahamasantoreturntoherusualself.

Shehadsomeseriousmotivation,Isaid,promptingYukinoshitatosmilebitterly
atherself.

Indeed.Shewassilentforamoment.Ionlyrealisedthisjustnow,butIhave
grownfondofthatpartofherovertheselasttwomonths.

Istaredslackjawedather.ForYukinoshitatouttersuchathing

Dismayedbymysilence,Yukinoshitasfacereddenedslightly.Wwhat?Youhad
aweirdlookonyourface.

Oh,nah.Itsnothing.AndIdidnthaveaweirdlookonmyface,seriously.

Yes,youdid.

No,Ididnt.

Allowmetocorrectmyself.Youcurrentlyhaveaweirdlookonyourface.

Yukinoshitabegantowalkasiftellingherselftogetamoveon.Fromthesideof
herface,Icouldseenoneofthedepressionfrombefore,onlyanexpressionof
utterselfassurance.Yukinoshitawasback.

28
 21

Chapter2:MyTeenRomcomWithTotsukaSaikaIsRightasExpected

TwentyminutesafterIreceivedmytyrannicalorders,Iwasatthebicycleparking
area,completelyataloss.

JustasYukinoshitasaid,motivatingYuigahamatoreturntotheServiceClubwas
ournumberonepriority.ItwasntlikeIhadanyobjectionstoYuigahamacoming
backoranything.NowthatIdalreadyhittheresetbutton,thereshouldbean
appropriatedistancebetweenus.TherewouldbenoproblemifIcouldjust
maintainthatdistance.

Nowthen,howcouldIgetYuigahamamotivated?

ItwasntlikeIcouldjustthrowalassoaroundherneckanddragherback,and
askingherstraightouttocomebackwouldbringouttheunpleasantatmosphere
frombefore,whichreallydidntappealtome.

Sonowwhat?

Ithoughtaboutitforabit.ButIdidntknow.ShouldIapologise?Nah,itwasnt
likeIdidanythingwrong

MyfightswithKomachialwaysendedinquiteavaguesortofway.SomehowIgot
thefeelingthingsworkoutontheirownthistime

AsIwasscratchingmyheadwithastiffexpressiononmyface,Iheardsomeone
callouttomeallofasudden.Hachiman?Oh,itreallyisyou,Hachiman.

WhenIturnedaround,TotsukaSaikawasfidgetingshyly,thebrilliantglowofthe
eveningsunshiningdownuponhim.Thedustintheairturnedtoparticlesoflight
justfromhimstandingthereTotsukawasatotalangel.

Iwasinstantlyentranced,butIdecidedtoactascoollyasitwashumanlypossible
todo.Yo.

29
 21

Yotoyoutoo.Totsukaraisedonehandasifhewastryingtoimitateme.The
brusquegesturemusthaveembarrassedhim,becausehelaughedsheepishlyand
abashfulsmilecameoverhisface.Goddamnit,hewastoocute.Areyougoing
homenowtoo,Hachiman?

Yeah.Soisthetennisclubalsodonefortheday,Totsuka?

Totsuka,whowasdressedinhisjersey,adjustedtheracquetonhisbackand
thoughtaboutitforalittlebeforeshakinghishead.Notyet,butIgetcoachedat
nightsoIleftaheadoftime.

Coached?

What,wasTotsukajustsocutehewasattendingtheOkinawaActorsSchoolto
becomeanidol?Right,Illbuy100ofhisCDs!Imean,Idbuyasmanyasneeded
soIcoulddrawoutahandshakeeventticket1.

Mm,attennisschool,yousee.Theclubherefocusesmainlyonpracticingthe
basics.

Ohhyourequitetheprofessional.

Iitsnothingtobragabout,reallybutitswhatIlove.

Huh?Sorry,couldyousaythatagain?

Umitsnothingtobragabout?

No,thebitafterthat.

wwhatIlove.

Okay,gotitthistime.

Imentallypressedthesavebuttonandcarvedhiswordsintomyheart.

1
ThisisareferencetothebusinessmodelofthesuperpopularidolgroupAKB48,whichconsistsentirely
ofcutegirls.CertainCDscomewithticketsthatallowyoutocometoahandshakeevent,whereyoucan
meetthemembersoftheidolgroupinperson.

30
 21

AsIsighedwithbliss,abemusedTotsukacockedhisheadslightlyandmadea
puzzlednoise.Anyway,Ihadachievedmygoal.Missioncomplete.

Oh,sorryaboutthat,Isaid.Soyouregoingtogetcoached,right,Totsuka?
Yeah.Later,then.

Wavingcasually,Igotonmybikeandwasabouttostartpedalling.Yetatthat
moment,Ifeltatugofresistanceagainstmyback.WhenIturnedaround,Totsuka
wasclutchingmyshirt.

Um,youknowcoachinghappensatnight.SoIhaveabitoftimebeforethen
itsclosetothestation,soIcanjustwalkstraightthereImean,doyouwantto
hangoutforawhile?

Wha

Ifyourefree,thatis

Idoubtedtherewasanyoneintheworldthatwouldrefuseafterbeingaskedout
likethat.Like,evenifIhadtogotoaparttimejobafterthat,Idbeconfident
takingadayofffromwork.Idprobablygetsickofworkingandquitaltogether
thankstohim.

Ifthiswereagirlinvitingme,Idfirstcheckmysurroundingsforherfriends
forcinghertoplayapenaltygame,andeventhenIdturnherdownjusttocover
mybases,but

Totsukawasaboy.

aboy,damnit.

Butstill.IwascushionedbyanabsolutesenseofsecuritybecauseTotsukawasa
boy.

Inhiscase,hecouldbeasniceashelikedtomewithoutmemisunderstanding.If
Iconfessedtohimwithmyoverwhelmingpassionandgotturneddownharshly,it
wouldntinflicttoomuchdamageonme.Thenagain,confessingandsoforthtoa
boywouldcausemenoendofdamagesocially.

31
 21

Thatbeingthecase,IfoundIhadnoreasontorefusehim.Sure,itsnotlikeIhad
anythingbettertodothanreadabookathome.

Therewasnothingreallysurprisingaboutthat.Readabook,readamanga,watch
ananimeIdtaped,playagame,studywhenIwasboredthoseweremy
prospects.Mylifewasjustsofulloffunandgames,itwasmycurse.

Isee,thatsgoodtohearssoshallwegotothestation?

Yougonnaridebehindme?Iasked,pattingmybike'sseatlightly.

Itwasnotsounusualfortwoguystorideonabiketogether.Morelikeitwasa
commonsight.SoIdidnotthinktherewasasinglethingthatwasstrangeabout
Totsukasittingonthebicycleseat,wrappinghisarmsaroundmeandsaying,
Hachimanyourbackissobroad.

ButTotsukashookhishead.

Iitsfine.Imheavy,yousee

Whicheverwayyousquinted,helookedlighterthanagirldidIwasabouttosay
somethingtothateffect,butIheldmyselfbackandansweredonlywithanI
see.Totsukadidntreallylikebeingtreatedlikeagirl.

Itsabitofahiketothestation,butletswalktheretogether.Withabashful
smile,Totsukastarteddownthepath.

Ifollowedastepbehind,pushingmybikealong.

Alongtheway,hewouldlookupatmefromtimetotime,asifhewaspeepingat
myexpression.Hetookfivestepsandpeepedatme,andthenateightstepshe
peepedagain.Um,hereallydidnthavetoworrysomuchaboutwhetherIwas
actuallyfollowinghim.

Withoutsayinganythingtoeachother,weturnedatthecornerofthepark
adjacenttoSaizeandadvancedontothepathpastthepedestrianbridge.Likea
middleschoolcoupleonadate,therightopportunitytoopenourmouthsslipped
awayinfrontofus,evenasweexchangedfurtiveglances.

32
 21

Therewasasweetagonytoit.MyheartthrobbedsomuchIthoughtIwoulddie.

Thebridgecrossingoverthenationalhighwaywasatwolayeredstructure;the
automobileswereonthetoplayerandthepedestrianswereonthebottomone.
Asthewindblewtheexhaustfumesaway,acoolbreezecarriedovertothe
shade.

Whatanicebreeze,Hachiman.Asifoncue,Totsukaturnedaroundonthefifth
step.

IwantedtotakeaphotoofthatinvigoratingsmileofhisandsaveitasaJPEGit
wasthatkindofbeautifulearlysummerscene.

Mmyeah,Isaid.Thiswouldbetheperfectplacetohaveanap.

Hachiman,yousleepsomuchduringrecessandyoustillwanttosleepnow?
Totsukasaidwithagigglealthoughhewaswrongaboutme.Ididnthave
anyonetotalktoinparticular,andsincetherewasnothingtodo,IfiguredIdjust
sleepfornow

Youknow,inSpaintheyhaveatraditioncalledthesiesta,anddependingonhow
youdoit,yoursleepinessandsluggishnessgoawayandyourworkefficiencyrises
intheafternoon.Ihearditscommonoverthere.

Wowyoureallyputalotofthoughtintoyoursleepinghabits,Hachiman.

Er,Iguess.

Ofcourse,Ididntintendthatatallandjustmadeupawholelotofbullshit,but
helappeditallupanyway.Thatthrewmeoffalittlebit.Iwaskindofbaffledover
howmuchfaithTotsukahadinme,judgingbyeasyitwastopullthewooloverhis
eyes.Hecouldgettakenadvantageofbyabadguyoneday,whichwasworrying.
Ihadtoprotecthim!

33
 22

22

Oncewefinishedcrossingthepedestrianbridge,itwouldntbelonguntilwe
reachedthestation.Thetwoofusprogressedonthepathstraightaheadatthe
speedwehadbecomeaccustomedto.Asthestationcameintoview,Totsukas
walkingpaceslackenedsomewhat.Heseemedtobetornaboutwheretogo.

Whereareyougoing?Iasked.

Umsomewheretorelaxforashorttime.

soyouvebuiltupsomestress,Itakeit?

Whatwasthisparalysingsenseofguiltthatcameoverme?Oh,yeah,itreminded
meofthatonetimeourcatonlyhungaroundmeandIpesteredhimsomuchI
endedupgettingscalpedandthankstothat,ourcatstillwouldntletmehold
himinmyarmstothisday.Whenyoupesteredthesedomesticpettypestoo
much,theyreallybuiltupstress,youknow.Itwasbesttosteplightlywhenit
cametoTotsuka.

Er,uh,itsnotaboutme

Idontreallyunderstandwhatyouregettingat,butyoucouldgotokaraokeor
tothearcade,Iguess.

Eitheroneisfine?Totsukaaskedmeinindecision.

Thatgotmethinkingforawhile.

Karaokewasboundtoberelaxing.Itfeltquitegoodtosilentlygooninputting
songsbyyourselfandtosingyourheartoutonasuperbsong.Only,yourthroat
andyourspiritwerealreadywreckedbythefifthnumber,andwhentheshop
assistantcameinwiththedrinksandsawyoulikethat,wordscouldnotexpress
howdishearteningitfelt.AndthatfeelingofWhatamIdoingwithmylife?
afteryoufinishedwasjustawful.

34
 22

Thearcadewassimilarlyrelaxing.Thefightinggamesweremonopolisedbythe
veterans,andanyplebswhocameinwerejusteasypickings.Youcouldhavefun
playingthequizgames.Sinceinternetcompetitionswerealltheragethesedays,
nationallevelchallengersandtournamentshadalsopoppeduptoo.Itcertainly
feelsgoodtowhisperHeh,ignorantfoolsasyouwipethefloorwithyour
opponents.ItwouldtakemethreehourstorealiseIwasaimingforsomethingon
thescaleofconqueringShanghaiortheGreatWallofChinaandthatitwasa
colossalwasteoftime.ThatfeelingofWhatamIdoingwithmylife?afterI
finishedwasalsostrong.

ThefactthateitherwayitwouldendinmewonderingwhatIwasdoingwithmy
lifewasquiteaproblem.

KaraokeorthearcadeitwasintheveinoftheDotchCookingShowwhereyou
wereforcedtopickone.ThatwasChibaforyou.Icamepreparedformoments
likethese.

Well,ifwegototheBigMu,ithasboththoseplaces.

TheBigMuwasamultipurposeamusementpark,sonaturallyitcameequipped
withakaraokebar,anarcadeandevenabowlingcenter,billiardsroomand
tavern.Well,thegamingareaswerepopulatedbyalltheusualsuspects,sointhe
eventwedidgoIwantedtotakeenoughselfdefencemeasuresbeforehand.

IseethenletsgototheBigMu.

AtTotsukasurgings,Ipushedmybikeoutofthetrafficcircleatthestationand
stoppeditatthebicycleparkingareaattheBigMu.

Oncewereachedthetopfloorontheelevator,wewalkedtothearcade,having
decidedtocheckthatplaceoutfirst.WhenIputmyfootinthehall,itwasasifI
wasdraggedintoafloodofsoundsasawholedifferentworldopenedupinfront
ofmeinaflash:twinklingdecorativelights,tobaccosmokerisingonend,thecries
oflaughterthatrefusedtobedrownedoutbyallthecacophony.

Rightinfrontofme,therewasacranegamecorner.

35
 22

TheinstantIsawacoupleoperatingthecrane,makingagodawfulnoisewith
theirlaughing,Iwantedtogohome.Damnit,Delinquentsan,whatwastaking
youguyssolong?Pleasehuntdowntheseplebsalready,andwhileyoureatit,
pleasedothepoliceafavourandbeateachotherup

Theboyseemedtobehavingatoughtimewiththecranegame,sincehewas
negotiatingwithoneoftheemployeesandhavingoneofthesofttoysmovedfor
him.Itlookedlikegettingthetoysforyourcustomerswaspartoftheservice
thesedays.Surewasgettingmoreslackthesedays

Slippingpastthecouple,TotsukaandIturnedtothevideogamecorner.

Whoa,thisissocoolTotsukablurtedout.

ItwasasightIwaswellaccustomedto,butitseemedforTotsukaitwasshinyand
brandnew.

Therewerefightinggamesinfrontofme,andattheheartofthearcade,there
weretabletoptypegameslikepuzzlesandmahjong,withtheshootinggames
squeezedinbetween.Tomyrightwasthecardgamestable.Itseemedinthis
arcade,cardgameswereparticularlysuccessful.Thefightinggamesandmahjong
werereasonablypopular,whileonlyacoupleofpeoplewerescatteredhereand
thereforthequizgame.Whereyoureallycouldntletyourguarddownatwas
theshootinggamesandthepuzzlegames.Sometimes,youcameacrosszombie
likepeoplewhodidntseemtohaveanylifeoutsideofgettingstupidlyhigh
scores,andsometimesacrowdgatheredaroundthemtowatchastheyplayed.

Hachiman,whatdoyouusuallyplay?

UhthequizgameandShanghai,Iguess.

Asyoudexpect,Iwasntabletosaystripmahjong.

Anyway,ifitwasjustthetwoofusplayingaround,thequizgamewasasafe
option.TheQuizMagicAcademygameIusuallyplayedwastuckedawaynearthe
fightinggames.Totsuka,overhere,Isaid,wavingasIspokebecauseofour
noisysurroundings.

36
 22

Totsukanodded,andthenheclungtothesleeveofmyshirt.Well,uhIguess
sinceitwasTotsukasfirsttimecominghereandall,heprettymuchhadtodo
thissohewouldntgetlost.Yep,therewasnothingunnaturalaboutitatall.It
wastheveryepitomeofnatural.Itwassupernatural.

Then,aswewerepassingthroughthefightinggamescorner,Icaughtsightofa
familiarcoatwearingfigure.Hisarmswerefoldedimperiouslyandhewore
powerbracersaroundhiswrists,andeverytimehecackledinlaughter,thebun
tiedatthebackofhisheadwobbledalittlebit.

Hewasstandingwithabunchofpeoplegatheredaroundthefightinggame
players,andoccasionally,hedwhispersomethingtoanotherpersonandtheyd
makefriendlychatter.

Um,HachimanTotsukasexpressionhadconfusionwrittenalloverit.Isthat
Zaimo?

Thatssomeoneelse.Iinterruptedhisquestion.

Sure,helookedfamiliar.Butwedidntknoweachother.

Therewasnooneamongmyacquaintanceswhocouldtalksocomfortablyto
anotherperson.Afterall,hewasthatguywhohadnofriends.

Oh,IseeIthoughtitwasZaimokuzakun

Damnit,Totsuka,dontcallouthisname.

Hmm?Avoicespeakethmynamemyohmy!IfitisntHachiman!

sohenoticedus,huh.

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 23

23

Oneofthespecialtraitsofalonerwasknownasoverreactingwhenhearing
onesname.Normally,hardlyanyoneeversaidtheirname,soontheodd
occasionalonerdidheartheirnamecalled,theytendedtomakeabigshowofit.
Source:me.Theydmakesomedumbassreactionlikesquawkinexcessive
surprise.Like,itwasonthelevelofansweringreflexivelywhentheannouncer
said,ThenextstopisIchigaya,ontheSoubutrainline.

WhowouldvethoughtIdencounteryouatthisplace.Whyareyouhere?
Zaimokuzapausedforamoment.Thisisabattlefield,youknow.Aplaceonlyfor
thosepreparedtothrowtheirlivesaway.

Um,IjustgotinvitedherebyTotsukalikeanormalperson,Ipointedout,
refusingtoplayalongwithZaimokuzasirritatingplayact.

Zaimokuzasreactionwastomakepuppyeyesatme.Notcute.SoHachiman,did
youhavesomekindofworktodohere?

Nah,Ijustcametochill.

Saywhat?!Holdit.YouredoingthiswithSirTotsuka?Zaimokuzapeeredat
Totsuka,hiseyeswidewithexaggeratedshock.ThatmadeTotsukaflinchand
retreatbehindmyback.

Uh,yeahIsaid.

Oho,Ishallbewithyoupresently.Zaimokuzatotteredawayfromus,abroad
yetunpleasantgrinonhisface.Itlookedlikehewassayinghisgoodbyestothe
personhehadbeentalkingtojustbefore.Lessthanaminutepassedbeforehe
cameback,wheezingheavily.Nowthen,letusbeoff.

Um,yourealiseweneverinvitedyou

38
 23

Zaimokuza,whohadatsomeunknownpointintimemadeuphismindtohang
aroundthetwoofus,wentonwheezinguntilhisshouldersshook.Hewipedhis
sweatwithhissleeve,asifhehadnotimetospareformylazyobjection.

Hey,Zaimokuza,wasthatguyfrombeforeyourfriendorsomething?

Nay.HesanArcanabro.

Uh,Iwasntaskingtoknowthatguyshandlename,youknow.

Hm?Thatsnothishandlename.HishandlenameisAshtheBloodhound.

Howcheesy

WhenhefinallyknockshisopponentsoutinTekken,theygetfuriousandpunch
andkickthemachineandtheashtray,buttheashtraypartreallycaughtonand
madehiminfamous.HesaveteranattheBigMu.Hisrealnamesamystery.
EveryonecallshimAshsan,yousee.

Oh,Isee

Wow.Thatwasprobablythemostuselessinformationever.Icouldnotthinkofa
singleoccasionwhereknowingtheoriginsofAshsnamewouldcomeinhandy.

Okay,sowhatsanArcanabro?Totsuka,whohadbeenlisteningtothe
conversation,askedtheexactsamequestionattheexactsamemomentIdid.

Seriously,Zaimokuza,stopassumingweunderstandyourjargon.(NotthatIwas
exactlydyingtoknow.)

Well,itreferstosomeoneplayingthesamegameasyou.Youcanuseitfortitles
andregions.Forinstance,youcouldsay,AmongArcanabros,theChibabrosare
thebiggesttrashofthelot.

Chibabros,trashIlikedthatwordChibabro.MainlyfortheChibapart.

Soooo,washeyourfriend?Iasked.

Nay,hewasanArcanabro.

39
 23

SoyouresayinghesnotyourfriendTalkingtoZaimokuzatiredmeout.We
werebothJapanese,butwedidntspeakthesamelanguage.Whatthehell?
Seriously,whatlanguagewasArcanabroevenfrom?DidthebroinArcanabro
comefrombrother?Well,Iguessthatwordwasusedtorefertopeopleinyour
ingroup.

Zaimokuzaponderedslightlyovermyquestion.Hm,Iwonder.Wetalkwhenwe
meetupandwetexteachotherbattlingtips.Wegotoeventsoutsidethe
prefecturetogethertooandyet,Iknownaughtofhistruename,norofwhathe
doesforaliving.Ispeakonlyofgamingandanimetohim.Hepaused.Hhey,
wouldyoucallAshsanmyfriend?

Dontaskmedidnttheyteachyounottoansweraquestionwithaquestionat
school?

Hmm,Ifeelmorecomfortablecallinghimmygamingcomradethanmyfriend.
Tome,thatisawordIcanplacemorefaithinthanfriend.

Gamingcomrade,huhIlikehowitseasytounderstand.Itsgotaniceringto
it.

Itsurebeatthevaguenessofthewordfriends,soIwaskindofpartialtothat
expression.

Therearemanythingsintheworldthatcannotbedefinedbutaresoeasilyused
inconversation.Like,insteadofsayingmarriageorloveorromance,itwouldbe
easiertocomprehendifpeoplesaidtheywantedarelationshipofmutualgain,or
theywantedyourmoney,ortheywantedtolookgoodintheeyesofsociety,or
theywantedtohavedescendants,andsoon.Sayingyouwantsomeonefortheir
moneyisreallyhorrible,though.

Indeed,saidZaimokuza.Inotherwords,youcouldsayyouandIaregymbros,
Hachiman.

Huh,youthink?

40
 23

Somehow,hemadethatsounddistinctlyunappealing,whichkindofturnedme
off.Basically,hewassayingthatamongSoubuHighbros,thegymbrosarethe
biggesttrashofthelot.

Still,IhadtothankZaimokuzaforclarifyingthatwewerenotfriends.Wejusthad
totalktoeachothersinceweweregymbros.

Okay,saidTotsuka,soifIgetpairedupwithyouingymclass,Hachiman,were
gymbrostoo.

Oh,yyouthink?

SoTotsukaandIwerentfriends,huhthatcameasashock.

Ineededonlytowait,though.Ifwewerentfriends,thepossibilitythatwecould
beloversstillremained,afterall.Yeah,baby!Crap,Iwasscrewedeitherway.

Still,itsamazinghowyoumakesomanyacquaintancesthroughgaming,
Totsukaremarked.

Hm.Iisthatso?Zaimokuzaansweredtremblingly.

Oh,Ithinkthatsprettycooltoo,Isaid.HereIwasthinkingitwasmoreofa
lonerthing.

No,thatisbynomeansthecase.Therearenationallevelteambattle
tournamentsforfightinggameslikeGekido.Theyrequiteintense.Attheold
tournamentstherewerealsoeventswherewarriorswoulddukeitoutforthe
sakeoftheirfallengamingcomrades.Everyoneinthehallwouldgetso
emotional.Itwasenoughtomakemeshedateartoo.

SoundslikeKoshien1.

Mm,Isupposeitis.

1
ThenationalhighschoolbaseballchampionshipinJapan.ItgetsbroadcastedonTVandeverything.

41
 23

Wellnowsoeventhisguyhadacommunityhefitrightinto,surprisingly
enough.

Whoa,thatssocoolTotsukaclappedhishandstogetherinpraise.

Withthat,Zaimokuzastartedgettingcarriedawayallofasudden.Assoonasa
topicwelonersknewalotaboutcameup,theblabberingwouldstartrightaway.
Itwasabadhabitofours.Indeeditisso!Gamesaremarvellousthingsin
general,notjustfightinggames.Tobeginwith,fellowgamersmakegames
together,whicharethenenjoyedbyotherfellowgamers,someofwhomwillgo
ontocreatethenextgenerationofgames.Isthatcyclenotbeautiful?Oneday,I
tooshallstandamongthecreators.

Huh?Youregonnabeagamecreator,Zaimokuzakun?Howcool!saidTotsuka.

Iindeed!Ohohohohoho!

um,what?

Whathappenedtoyourdreamofbecomingalightnovelist?

Oh,that.Iquit,hedeclaredreadilywithoutanyhesitationwhatsoever.

Soyouswitchedcareersyetagain?

Well,alightnovelauthorisselfemployed,afterall.Thereisnoinsuranceifyou
failandonemustcontinuewritingforcountlessyearsonend.Earningmoneyis
noguaranteeregardlessofhowmuchyouwrite,whichisaterribleconcern.A
gamecompanyispreferableinthatregard,forjustbeingattheofficewould
guaranteeyouasalary.

Yourejustouttomakeyourselffeelgood,youpieceoftrash!

Hmph!Asifyoucantalk,Hachiman!

Hehadapoint.SinceIdidntwanttoworkandall,itwasprettymuchthesame
thingasbeingastayathomehusband.

Butyoudonthaveanygamemakingskills,Ipointedout.

42
 23

Hmph.Inthatcase,Iwillbethegamescenariowriter.Thatwillmakeuseofmy
ideasandmyliteraryprowess.IwillliveastablelifemakingthethingsIlovewith
thecompanysmoney!

IIseegoodluck

Ididntgiveashitanymore.Ifeltlikeanidiotforthinkingaboutthatguysfuture
seriouslyforevenamoment.

43
 24

24

Moreimportantly,Hachiman,didyounotcomeheretohavefun?Thisismy
homebase;thereforeIwillbeyourguide.Isthereanythingyouwanttodo?
Zaimokuzawasreallysummoninguptheenergyasifherehewasinhiselement.

ConsideringhowIcouldmoreorlessseewhereeverythingwasjustfromlooking
around,itwasimpressivehowuselesshisguidancewouldbe.

Oh,Iwanttotryoutthephotobooth.Totsuka,whowaslookingaroundthe
interiorjustlikeIwasdoing,pointedtowardsthefarleftwherethephotobooth
cornerwassituated.Hachiman,wouldyoutakeaphotowithme?

Comeonitsprettymuchgotgirls/couplesonlyzonewrittenalloverit.

Thephotoboothcornerwasforbiddentoboys.Itlookedlikeyoucouldonlyenter
ifyouwereagirloryouhadagirlfriend.Whatblatantdiscrimination.Itwasa
modernapartheid.TheUnitedNationsoughttohurryupanddealwiththis.

Ourgroupconsistedofthreeguys.Wedidnotsatisfyanyoftheconditions.

IIguess,yeahnogood,huh?

Iwouldntsayitsnogood,exactlySeriously,whenheaskedforthingsthe
wayhedid,itwasmuchtoughertosaynotohim.

Ohohohoho,worrynot.Hachiman,Itoldyouthiswasmyhomebase.Theyd
givenmeafreepassforbeingaregular.

Wow,youcandoit?Thatsawesome.Mustbesuperhandybeingabletorelyon
freepasses.

Soitwasntjustfalseadvertising.Itwaskindofawesomehowemployeesand
regularsbothgotbenefits.ThatwasZaimokuzasanforyou.

Leaveittome.Followmylead,Zaimokuzadeclaredasheledthewayintothe
photoboothcorner.

44
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Hismajesticappearancewasoverflowingwithselfconfidence,notbetrayinga
hintofunease.Hismannerismswerefitforaking.ThatwasZaimokuzasanfor
you.

Withthat,heapproachedthecounterinfrontofthephotoboothcorner.

Excuseme,sir,whatareyoudoing?Itdoesntlookgoodforonlyboystoenter.

Er,um,uh,ssorry...

Ninetimesoutoften,allittooktostophiminhistrackswasanemployees
nonchalantcomment.ThatwasZaimokuzasanforyou.

Seeinghowthiswasallwellwithinexpectations,TotsukaandIlookedateach
otherwithoutanyparticularsurprise.

JustasIthoughtImuttered.

ahaha,thatsthewayitgoes.

Butthenextmoment,amiraclehappened.

scuseme,youreintheway.Moveoutside,thanks.

AstheemployeesbrothernonchalantlydroveZaimokuzarightoutofthecorner,
heclearedthewayforus.Zaimokuzawasgettingcarriedoffwithoutanyshowof
resistance,likeacatbeingdraggedbythescruffofitsneck.

whwhatwasthat?ThereasonwhyTotsukablinkedhiseyeswideinsurprise
wasundoubtedlywrittenacrosshisface.

whoknows?Whatever,heclearedthewayforussoletsgo.

YyeahTotsukafollowedme,hisexpressionlessthanfullysatisfied.

45
 24

Insidethecorner,therewaseverykindofmachineimaginable.Honestly,theway
thelightsblinkedandsparkledohsoradiantlyandbeautifullygaveoffanairlike
KabukichoinShinjuku1.

Andholycrap,lookatthosesampleimages.Shotsofpeoplewholookedlike
modelswereprintedonthecurtainandthecubicleandeverywhereinbetween.
Itwassocreepyhowtheyallhadthesameface.Whydothesechicksalllookthe
sameway?Youcouldonlydistinguishthembytheirhairstyleandclothing.Did
theyuseatemplateorsomething?

Whoahowslutty

ComparedtothelikesofYuigahamaandthatMiurachick,Igotaneatandclean
vibefromit.Sothesewerethepeoplewhobelongedtoanotherworld,huh?It
gavemethecreeps.

Okay,herelldo,saidTotsuka.Hachiman,youreokaywithit?

yeah,Imgood.

Honestly,itcouldntbemoremessedup.

Totsukaenteredthecubicleandstartedreadingtheinstructionsdiligently.So,
letssee.Choosethebackgroundandokay,thislooksgood,hesaid,holdingmy
armanddraggingmeseveralstepsdown.

Hhuh?What,isitstarting?Whatchaspposedtodo?!Itsblindingme!

Theflashblinkedsuddenly.Wait,wasntSolarFlaretheonlyabilityTienShinhan
coulduse2?CouldGokuusethephotoboothaswell?

Letsdoonemore~

1
TheredlightdistrictinShinjuku,Tokyo.
2
TienShinhanwasanantagonistinDragonBallandasidecharacterinDragonBallZ.Heresanimageof
him.

46
 24

Afterthesyntheticvoicefilledthecubicle,theflashblinkedanumberoftimes.
Lendmeyourpower,TienShinhan!

Andthatsthat!Dontforgettoaddyourowntoucheswhenyouleave!

Ourowntouches,huh?saidTotsuka.IwonderhowIshoulddomine.

Wepulledthecurtainasideandmovedtoaseparateboothforeditingphotos.On
thescreentherewasacountdownshowinghowmuchtimeyouhadtoedit.

Soyoucheckthephotoandwhwhoa!Theresaghostinit?!Assoonashe
openedthescreen,Totsukaclungwaytootightlyontomyarminshock.

Whoa,ththatgavemeashock!AsIkeptmyquickenedheartbeatundercontrol,I
lookedattheghostphotoorwhateveritwasandsawformyselfthataboywitha
scowlingfacewasindeedhalfvisible.

AndhisnamewasZaimokuza.

WhenIopenedthecurtainsinsearchforhim,hewassquattingonthefloor.

Oh,Igetitnow,Totsukasaid.SoitwasZaimokuzakun,huh?Thank
goodnessforthat.

Whatareyoudoinghere?IaskedZaimokuza.

Oho,IcrawledinheresothatIwouldnotbediscovered.SothenIthought,
seeingasyouwerehavinganintimatemomentwithSirTotsuka,thatIwouldruin
itforyoubyappearinginthephotomyself!Haveatyou!Yourmemorieshave
beentaintedthroughmyhand!

Doesntitmakeyousadtosaythataboutyourself?

hmph,Iovercamethatlevelofmiseryduringthephotosalesaftertheschool
trip.Towit,thegirlswerecryingsimplybecauseIwasinthephotowiththem.

Whoa,sothisguyhadhisscarstooOhh.Um,howdoIsayit?Ssorrytohear
that,Zaimokuza.

47
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Zaimokuzamadeanindignantsound.Fretnotoverme,hesaidashefurtively
wipedthetearssproutinginthecornerofhiseyes.

Zaimokuzawasntabadguy,though.Thephotosalesweretherealevilhere.

Butyouknow,thatphotosalesystemisfullofBSandtheyoughttoputastopto
it.Whenyousecretlybuyaphotoofthegirlyoulikeandeveryonearoundyou
findsoutandmakesfunofyou,itsucks.Thatshowitworks.

iindeed,somethingsimilarhappenedtome.

HHachimanletsmakelotsofmemoriesfromnowon.Totsukacomfortedme
withallofhismight.IllbewithyouwheneverIcan.

ThatwouldbejustweirdalthoughIsupposeitwouldbecommonsenseifhe
wereamiddleschooler.

48
 25

25

Asweweremuckingaround,doingthisandthat,theeditingtimeelapsedandthe
photoswereprinted.

MyskinssowhitesaidTotsuka.

ThatssomeseriousaugmentationIremarked.

Indeed,Zaimokuzasaidwithacough.AndyetseeingHachimansparklingsends
ashiverdownmyspinehessparklingyethiseyesremainrotten

Well,itwentwithoutsayingthatanoverexposedphotowastheresultoftheflash
beingturnedonsohigh.ThewhiteningeffectwasplainlyvisibleonZaimokuza.As
forTotsuka,itexhibitedhisprettygirlqualitiestosuchadegreethatitwouldnt
beastretchtocallhimabishojo.

Right,here.Thisisyours,Hachiman.Totsukahandedmeoneofthreephotoshe
hadcutoutneatlyfromthepile.Andthisisforyou,Zaimokuzakun.

Ooh?Imayprocureoneaswell?

Huh?Yeah,Totsukasaidwithasmilemoreradiantthananyaugmentaphoto
boothcouldproduce.

Zaimokuzaperkedinresponse.Oh,good.ThthenIaccept.Hetookit,handling
itliketreasure,andhegazedatitwithadazedsortofhappiness.

Icastmyeyesontothephotosinmyhandthesamewayhedid.

Sincetherewasntmuchtimeintheeditingcubicle,onlythreeofmyphotoshad
anywritingonthem.Ononephoto,GymbroswaswritteninTotsukas
somewhatcursivehandwriting.Ilikedthatnickname,itwascute

Anotherphotohadthewordnakayoshibuddies.

Zaimokuzasnorted.HachimanandIarenotbuddies.

49
 25

Prettymuch.Werenotbuddies.

Youthinkso?Ithinkyougetalongjustfine.Totsukashookhishead
mysteriously.

Nah,ImmoreofaRibonfanthanaNakayoshifan1.

Indeed,saidZaimokuza.Kodochawasquitegood

Iknowright?Ifollowedthemangarightuptotheend.

Oh,really?Theanimeversionwasbetter.

ZaimokuzaandIturnedawayfromeachotherwithahuff.

Igrowled.

Hegrowled.

Asthesparkscrackledandthetwoofuspreparedforalloutwar,Totsukabroke
outintoagiggle.Youtworeallyarebuddies.

Huh?Whatpart?

Zaimokuzagrunted.Seriously.

Well,youknowhowitis.IndeferencetoTotsukassupercutesmile,Illforgive
you.IllbringthemangaoveronMondayandyoubetterreaditandwritemean
essayonit.

Hmph.ThenI,too,shallbringtheDVDsandyoudbetterprepareafullreporton
it.Zaimokuzawhippedhisgazeawayandshovedthephotosinhishandintohis
wallet.Honestly,Hachiman,hadyounotbeencausingaruckus,Iwouldhave
obtainedtheaugmentedphotos.Ionlymanagedtogettwoofthem.As
punishment,youmustchoosevolleyballforgymclassnextmonth.Shouldyoufail
indoingthat,Iwillbealone.

1
RibonandNakayoshiaretwoshojomagazinesaimedatlittlegirls.

50
 25

Yeah,IplannedtopickvolleyballfromthestartsinceIdidntwannarun.Wait.
Didyousaytwophotos?

Reallynow?Ithought,andwasabouttocheckthisforcertainwhenIfelt
somethingtugagainstmysleeve.IturnedaroundtoseeTotsukaputtingafinger
againsthislips,shushingme.

Ikeptthephotoinmypalmandopeneditfurtively,onlytofindmyselfkindof
embarrassedbywhatwaswrittenontheremainingaugmentedphoto:
HACHIMANSAIKA

Imean,holycrap.Iwasdefinitelyblushing.

Ah,itsalreadygottensolate,Totsukasaid.Ihavetogetgoing

Oh,tennisschool.

Oh,right.Totsukahadcomeheretopassthetimebeforetennisschool.Ifeltkind
ofbadfornotsparingamomenttothinkaboutgivingTotsukaagoodtime.

Okay,Imgoingnow.Lookslikeyouvecheereduptoo,Hachiman.

Huh?

Youseemedkindadownlately.SoIthoughtyouneededachangeofpace.

Nowthathementionedit,IgotthefeelingKomachisaidsomethinglikethatthis
morningtoo.Ihadntreallycaredthensincemysisterisatotalnutjobandall,but
ifamanofcommonsenselikeTotsukawassayingthesamething,thenitreally
wasconcerning.

Idontreallyknowifsomethingshappenedtoyou,butIlikeyoubestwhen
youactyourself,Hachiman,Totsukasaid.Then,checkingthetimeonhisphone,
heutteredaRight,letshangoutagainsometime!andbrokeoutintoasprint.
Justbeforehewasoutofsight,heturnedaroundandletoutaheartywave.

51
 25

52
 25

Inanswer,Iraisedmyhandhigh,too.

Zaimokuzagrunted.SirTotsukasureiskindhearted.Notthatthereisanyworth
inbeingkindtoyou,Hachiman

Huh?What?Yourestillhere?Andyouknowwhat,youreonetotalk.

Oho,itsjustwhatyoudexpectfrommyfriend,SirTotsuka.Whatasplendid
warrior.

youreplanningonbecomingTotsukasfriend?

Er,aamInothisfriend?

Dontaskme.Stopshakingsoobviously.

Wasntthisguyscharactergettingshaftedlately?Washeokay?

Oh,hey,whatareyoudoing?Yourenotallowedtocomeinhere,yo.The
nonchalantvoiceofthestoreemployeeinterruptedthemoment.

Oh,crap,saidZaimokuza.Itisherewepartways!Farewell!

Thisisntanallyoucaneatrestaurant

Withthatunintelligentexchange,thetwoofusfledfromthescene.Icouldsee
Zaimokuzagettingsurroundedbyemployeesthroughthecornerofmyeye.

JustasTotsukasaid,itwasntlikeHikigayaHachimantobroodandworryover
things.Mydefaultstyleistogiveupwhenthegoinggetstough.Itwasbestto
acttotallyasifnothingwaswrong.Onlychangingmyattitudewhensomething
happenedwasthekindofhypocrisyIwouldntstandfor.

BeforeIgotonmybicycle,IsecretlyputtheboothphotosIwasholdingintomy
wallet.Nowtogobuyaframeorsomethingandhangitup.

53
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54
 31

Chapter3:YukinoshitaYukinoReallyDoesLikeCats

Outofallthedaysintheweek,Saturdayhastobethemightiest.Doyounot
tremblebeforeitsoverwhelmingsuperiority?Itsaholidayandsoisthedayafter
that.ItsprettymuchaSuperSaiyanbargainsale.

ItoolovedSaturdaywithallmyheartandsoul,andIwantedtoliveeverydaylike
itwasSaturdaywhenIgrewup.Sundaysweredepressingbecausealldayyoure
thinkingtoyourself,StartingtomorrowIvegotworkagain

ThefirstthingIdidinthemorningwasskimthenewspaperidly.KobotheLil
Rascalwasthebestpartofthenewspaper,asperusual1.Orrather,youcouldsay
thatwastheonlypartIactuallyread.

OnceIfinishedreadingthenewspaperandbythatImeanKobotheLilRascalI
checkedthediscountleaflets.WheneverIsawsomethingcheap,Iputaredcircle
arounditandhandedittoKomachi,whothennoteditdownonhershoppinglist.
EitherKomachiormumdidtheshoppinginourfamily.

ThenInoticedtheconspicuouslybrightfontinthemiddleoftheleaflet.Thefont
wassobrightyoumightaswellcallitaphotoninstead.Imtalkingaboutparticles
oflight,notaperson2.

KKomachi!Lookatthis!Withoutthinking,Iyankedherarmwithunrestrained
eagerness.TheyrehavingtheTokyoCatsandDogsShowthisyeartoo!

ItwaslikethatonescenefromTheLionKing.Imightendupyellingoutabattle
crywithoutthinking,too.URaRa!!WasntthatGeronimoscatchphrase3?

Omigosh!Youreright!Thisisawesome!Youvegotasharpeye,oniichan!

Hahaha!Worshipme,youpleb!

1
ApopularcomicstrippublishedintheYomiuriShinbun.ThinkofitasaJapaneseGarfieldorPeanuts.
2
TheJapanesewordforphotonis,whichcanalsobereadasagirlsname.
3
GeronimoisacharacterfromKinnikuman,apopularshonencomic.

55
 31

Wow,youresoamazing!Myoniichansamazing!

quiet,youtwo.Yourebeingannoying.Ourmothercrawledoutofher
bedroom,cursingandlookingverymuchlikeagolem.Shehadbedhair,her
glasseswereoncrookedandshehadshadowsunderhereyesthatwouldntgo
away.

SsorryIapologised,towhichmymothernoddedcurtlyandretreatedtoher
bedroom.Itseemedshewasplanningtohavealongnap.

sureistoughbeingacareerwoman.Ipitythewomanwhomarriesme.Iwould
bemorethanthatguywhoreliesonawomanspaycheckIwouldbeatotal
wasteofsocietysresources.

Assheputherhandonthebedroomdoor,mymotherlookedoverhershoulder.
You,shesaid.Yourefreetoleavethehouse,butwatchoutforcars.Sinceits
humidandthecarsstartplayingupinthissortofweather,itseasyforan
accidenttohappen.DontdosomethingstupidlikeletKomachirideonthebike
withyou.

Yeah,yeah.AsifIdmakeKomachigothroughsomethingsodangerous.

Thelovemyparentsfelttowardsmysisterwasverydeep.Yeah,itwasbecause
shewasagirl,butshedidthechoresallthetimeandshewassogoodat
everythingshetried,nottomentionshewasjustsooooadorable.Nowondermy
parentstreatedherlikeglass.

Asfortheelderbrother,ontheotherhand,Idoubtedtheyfeltthesameway.

Atthatverymoment,mymotherwassighingdeeplyasshelookedatmyface.
Imworriedaboutyou,youidiot.

huh?

56
 31

Igotchokedupinspiteofmyself.TothinksheworriedaboutmeallthistimeI
thoughtforsureIwasunlovedseeingassheneverwokemeinthemorning,
preferredtogiveameasly500yencoinoverahomecookedlunchand
occasionallyboughtmereallycrappylookingshirtsatthenearbystore.Seriously,
whatwaswithmyparentshideoustasteinclothing?Itwassobaditwasacrying
shame.Isweartheyhatedme.

Stilltherelationshipbetweenaparentandchildisabeautifulone.Myeyes
weregettingwatery.

Mmum

Ireallyamworried.Ifyougotyoursisterhurt,yourfatherwouldkillyou.

Ththeoldman

Igotchokedupinspiteofmyself.

Theoldmaninquestionwascurrentlyindreamland,indulginginsleep.

Honestly,thingswerenevergoodwhenmyfatherwasaround.Hedotedon
Komachisomuchandlookedatmewithhalfsuspiciouseyes,Iknew.Butheonly
toldmethingsthatwereirrelevanttome,likewatchoutforthoseextortionists
outtoruinyourreputation,orthatwomenwhochatyouuponthestreetare
onlyinterestedinyourwallet,orthatinvestinginfuturefundsismoreorlessa
scam,orthattoworkistolose.Andwhatreallymadeitawfulwasthatalmostall
ofthatcamefrommyfathersownexperience,soIcouldntignoreit.

Wheneverheleftthehouse,heslammedthedoorashardashecould,disturbing
mewhenIdozed.

Theresnoneedtoworrysinceweregoingbybus!Komachiturnedtoour
mother,laughingsheepishly.Ah,wellneedthebusfare!

Alrightthen,saidmymother,howmuchwasthetwowayticketagain?

57
 31

UhhKomachistartedcountingonherfingers.Um,ifaonewayticketwas150
yen,thenatwowayticketwas300yen.Ididnotseehowsheneededtouseher
fingerstoworkthatout.

Its300yen,Iansweredintheend,beforeKomachicouldfinishher
calculations.

Tothat,mymotherrespondedwithanokayasshedugoutasmallcoinfrom
herwallet.Hereyougo,300yen.

Thanks!saidKomachi.

Excuseme,mother.Imgoingtoo,youknowTherewasasomewhatstiff
feelingtomywords,likeIwasMasuosantalkingtoFune4.

Oh,youneedyourfaretoo?Mymotherputherhandinherwalletagainasif
shehadonlyjustrealisedmyexistence.

AndIllbeeatingouttodaysoIneedsomelunchmoneytooooo!Komachisang.

Huh?Isupposeitcantbehelped

AtKomachisrequest(whichwasjustoozingwithopportunism)ourmother
handedovertwowholebanknotes.

Wow,Komachisurewasamazing.Thatsaid,mylunchmoneywastheusual500
yen,sowhythattranslatedinto1000yenwhenmysisterwastheoneaskingwas
beyondme.Please,enlightenme,mother.

Thanks!kay,letsgo,oniichan.

Mm.

Allright,haveanicedayout.Mymotherwavedusofflanguidlybefore
disappearingintoherbedroomonceagain.Sleeptight,mother.

4
MasuoisacharacterfromSazaesan.Funeishismotherinlaw.Theyhaveanawkwardanddistant
relationship.

58
 31

Then,asIwasleavingthehouse,Igraspedthedoorwitheveryfibreofmybeing
andslammeditshut.

Thatnoisewasjustforyou.Riseandshine,father!

59
 32

32

Ittookagrandtotaloffifteenminutesforthebustogettothevenueofthe
TokyoCatsandDogsShow,theMakuhariExpoHall.Eventhoughitwasthe
TokyoCatsandDogsShow,IwassurprisedthatitwasbeingheldinChiba.Ididnt
havethemoneytogoifImistookitfortheTokyoBigSightorsomething.

Thevenuewaspopulatedbyareasonablyhighamountofpeople.Therewere
alsoanumberofthosewhobroughttheirpetsinside.

KomachiandItentativelyheldhandssincethatwaswhatweweresupposedto
do.Itwasntlikewewerebuddiesonadateoranything,butweddonethisso
oftenwhenwewentoutaskidsthatitwasforceofhabitnow.Komachihummed
atuneassheswungmyhandbackandforth.Ialmostgotadislocationfromthat.

IcouldseethatKomachiwasbrighterandmorecheerfulthanusual,perhaps
becauseofwhatshewaswearing:abordertanktopmatchedbyaflimsypink
cutsewwithabroadneckline,alongwithshortpantsthatwentdowntoher
thighs,somewhatintheveinofalowriseskirt.Plus,shehadonacarefree
milliondollargrinthatthreatenedtosplitherfaceintwo.Wheneverthatlittle
sisterofminesmiledlikethat,shelookedsounapologeticallyproudofherself.
Notthatshesmiledlikethatjustanywhere.

Anyway,itmighthavebeencalledtheTokyoCatsandDogsShow,butitwas
prettymuchapetsalewiththecommoditiesondisplay(e.g.thecatsanddogs).
Ontheotherhand,Iwasquiteamusedtoseehowsomekindofrareanimals
werealsoondisplay.Therewasnoadmissionfeeoranythingeitheritwasan
eventtobefeared.Chibareallywasthegreatest.

Assoonaswegotin,Komachistartedpointingatthingsveryexcitedly.Look,
oniichan!Penguins!Somanypenguinswalkingaround!Howadorable!

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 32

Oh,thatremindsme.IheardthewordpenguinderivesfromtheLatinwordfor
fat.Whenyouthinkaboutit,theyrelikeobesesalarymenwaddlingaround
outsidetheoffice.

Oh,wow.Suddenly,IcantthinkofthemascuteanymoreKomachilowered
herarm,dejected.Sheturnedonmeandglaredresentfully.Thankstoyour
uselesstrivia,ImgonnathinkofthewordfateverytimeIlookatapenguin,
oniichanshemutteredincomplaint,notthatitwouldhavedoneanygood
sayingthattome.Blameitontheguywhonamedthepenguinsinthefirstplace.
Youknow,oniichan,yourenotmeanttosaythatkindofstuffonadate,you
know?Ifagirlsays,Howadorable!youresupposedtosay,Yeah,butyoure
evenmoreadorable.

howdumb.

EventhepenguinslivingintheSouthPolewouldcatchacoldiftheywere
subjectedtosuchachillyconversation,inmyopinion.

Itsfine,itsfine.ItwasntlikeIwastellingyoutosaythatseriouslytome,you
know.IalreadyknowImadorable.

Sayingityourselfruinstheeffect

Whatasparklingconversationtohavewhiledogsandcatsandpenguinsmill
aroundinthebackground.

Thanksforthepointlesscommentary!Anyway,look,look!Letslookoverthere
forasec,Komachisaidasshebrokeoffintoarun,yankingmyhand.

Oi,hangon,dontrushit.Youllhitsomething.

Somehoworother,weendedupinwhatlookedlikethebirdzone,populatedby
parrotsofallshapesandsizes.Aworldofblindinglyrichcoloursopenedup
beforeoureyes.Yellow,red,greenalltheprimarycoloursweresplashed
aroundhereandtheresovividlyithurtmyeyestolook.Wheneverthebirds
spreadtheirwingsandsoared,lightshoneontheirfeathers,showingofftheir
brilliance.

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 32

Butamongthatfloodofbrilliantcolours,whatreallystoodoutwasaglossyhead
ofblackhair.

EverytimetheownerofthatglossyblackhairburiedhernoseintheTokyoCats
andDogsShowpamphletsheheldinonehand,hertwintailsswishedbackand
forth.

IsntthatYukinosan?ItseemedKomachihadrecognisedhertoo.

Seriously,therewasnoonewhostoodoutsoobviouslylikeshedid.Shewas
drawingquitealotofattentiontoherself.Cladinaquartersizecreamcoloured
cardiganandaneat,fluffyonepiecedresswitharibbontiedjustalittlebelow
herchest,shegaveoffasofterimpressionthanusual.Whenevershewalked,the
simplestrapsandalssheworeoverherbarefeetmadealight,coolsound.Butthe
girlinquestionseemedtopaynoheedtothegazesaroundher,lookingaround
stonefacedlyjustlikeshedidintheclubroom.

Yukinoshitacheckedthehallnumberandlookeddownatthepamphlet.Thenshe
lookedaroundherselfanddownatthepamphletoncemore.Andthensheletout
asighofresignation.

Whatwasupwithher?Wasshelost?

Yukinoshitasnappedthepamphletshutasifshehadmadehermindupabout
somethingandbrokeoutintoajauntywalkstraighttowardsthewall.

Oi,thatsadeadend,Iblurtedouttoher,unabletobearwatchinginsilence
anylonger.

ThatpromptedanopenlyhostileglarefromYukinoshitasdirection.Meep.

ButassoonassherealisedthatIwastheonewhocalledouttoher,asomewhat
enigmaticlookcameoverherfaceandshemadeherwayovertous.Whathave
wehere?Anunusualanimal,Isee.

CouldyounotcallmeaHomosapienssapiensinpassing?Youredenyingmy
humanity.

62
 32

63
 32

AmInotcorrect?

Yourecorrect,butyouremissingthepoint...

Thefirstthingshedidwhensheopenedhermouthwastreatmelikeaprimate
hominid.Whileshewasabsolutelycorrectfromabiologicalstandpoint,you
couldntgetmuchworseofagreetingthanthat.

Sowhywereyouwalkingtowardsawall?

Iwaslost,Yukinoshitasaiddarklywithanexpressionthatcouldonlybe
describedasdefeat.Itwaslikeshewasonthevergeofcommittingseppuku.
Hereyeswerebrimwithannoyanceassheopenedupthepamphletandpored
overityetagain.

Uh,thisplaceisntbigenoughtogetlostin,youknow

Soshehadnosenseofdirection,huhwell,Iguessthereweretimeswhenyou
gotlostevenwhenyouhadamap.Mapswerentreallyuseful,especiallywhen
youwereinafacilitywhereeachblocklookedthesameastheonebeforeit.Like
ComiketortheundergroundlevelofShinjukuStation.UmedaStationwassobad
youdbeleftstrandedifyoudidntbringgraphpaperandmapitoutyourself.

Goodafternoon,Yukinosan!

Ah,soyoucamealongtoo,Komachisan.Goodafternoon.

Still,Ididntexpecttoseeyouhere,Isaid.Youcametoseesomething?

well,afewthingshereandthere,Isuppose.

Thecats,basically.Sheddrawnagiantredcirclearoundthecatcorner

Havingnoticedmygaze,Yukinoshitacalmlyfoldedupthepamphletasifnothing
waswrong.HiHikyaShetriedtoplayitcool,butshetotallystumbledoverher
words.Ahem,whatareyoudoinghere,Hikigayakun?

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 32

Formypart,IalsoactedasifIhadntnoticedathing,allthewhiledoingmyvery
besttoresistmakingfunofher.Afterall,ifIdidsayanythingshedprobablyget
backatmefivetimesover...

Icomehereeveryyearwithmysister.

Thiswaswherewemetourcat,too!Komachipipedin.

LikeKomachisaid,thiswastheplacewehadencounteredourcatKamakurafor
thefirsttime.Hemighthavebeenacheekyrascal,buthehadapedigree.The
momentKomachisaidshewantedhimforapet,itwasadonedeal.Ifeltsorryfor
ourfather,whoonlygotcalledovertofootthebill.

YukinoshitalookedatKomachiandme,asmileshowingclearlyonherface.Not
again.Shehadthislookonherfacebefore.

youtwogetalongaswellasever,Isee.

Notreally,itslikeanallyearroundevent.

Okay.Therewasapause.Bye,then.

Yeah,bye.

Thetwoofusutteredpartingwords,avoidinganyfurtherentanglement.

Holdonjustasecondhere,Yukinosan.Sinceyoucameallthehere,letshang
outtogether!KomachituggedonYukinoshitassleevebeforeshecouldleave.
Mybroisatotaldownerwheneverheopenshismouth.Idhavemuchmorefun
beingwithyou,Yukinosan.

Iisthatso?Yukinoshitaaskedinreply,takinghalfastepawayfromKomachi,
whowaspressingagainstherincessantly.

Komachinoddedeagerlyinresponse.Yepyep!sheanswered.Cmoooon!

Itwontbegettingintheway?Hikigayakun,Imean.

Iwasbeingsidelinedasifitwasthemostnaturalthingintheworld.

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 32

Holdit,whatsthiscrapyourespouting?Ishutupwhentherespeoplearound
soImneverinthewayatall,youhear?

Inotherwords,youblendintoyoursurroundings,Iseeinthatsense,youhave
anamazingtalent

Yukinoshitalookedneithersurprisednoramazed.Butwell,inactuality,ifyoure
partofthegroupandyougoquiet,everyonemakesarealfussoveryou.

verywell,welllookaroundtogether,Yukinoshitasaid.Istheresomething
youdliketosee?Iiftheresnothinginparticular

LetsseeKomachihitherhandasifshehadcomeupwithabrightidea.Since
wecameallthewayhere,letslookatstuffyoucantnormallysee!

Ihonestlycanttellifyoucanreadtheatmosphereornot,Isaid.

Huh?What?Komachicockedherheadinpuzzlement.

Illgoalongtoyoursuggestion.Yukinoshitasighedinresignation.

Itwashardtoknowwhattosay.Imentallyapologisedformylittlesister.

Whenitcametothingslikerareanimals,therewasntmuchspaceforthelarger
typesasyoudexpect.Giventhesituation,thebirdzonehadaprettymucheven
ratio.Thatwasprobablybecausetherareonesdidnteatupmuchspace.

AfterleavingtheboothfeaturinggaudybirdsfromSoutherncountriesbehindus,
wewenttoanareawitharidiculouslyawesomedisplay.Thatarea,whichwas
blockedoffbyahandrailmadeofreinforcedsteel,washometomajesticbirdsof
sharpbeaks,sharpenedtalonsandsturdywings.

Chcheckthatout,Komachi!Eagles!Falcons!Hawks!Ohman,Iwishwehadone
ofthose.

66
 32

HowcoolIalmoststoppedwalkedandscaledthehandrailwithoutthinking.If
therewasonesymptomofchuunibyouIdcontracted,itwasmyinabilitynotto
bemovedbysuchanimpressivesightasthis.Thatwasprobablyhowan
Americansoldieroratotalchuuniwouldseeit.

ButKomachi,whoseemedunabletograspwhatwassoawesomeaboutit,
snortedatme.Eh?Thatsnotcute.Itreeksofchuuni.

Oi,whatsthiscrapyourespouting?Isntitcutehowittwistsitshead,see?I
turnedaround,intendingtopersuadeher,butKomachihadalreadyleftme
behind.Howcruel.

Thereisnothingcuteaboutit.Insteadofmycoldheartedsister,theonewho
answeredmewasYukinoshita.ButIdothinkitsmajesticandbeautiful,she
added,surprisinglyenough.

Itseemedshewasntlying.Yukinoshitastoodbesideme,grippingthehandrail,
hergazefocusedsolelyonthebirdsofprey.

Whoa!Soyoudounderstandtheawesomeness!Youreachuuniatheart!

thatIdonotunderstand.

Alas,thisdameunderstandsitnot

Oh,crap.AnymoreofthatandIdstartsoundinglikeZaimokuza

Cursdchuunibyou
Thisincurableillness
Adiseaseoftheheart(toomanysyllables)

Ahaiku,writtenbyHachiman.Incidentally,chuunibyouisthewordthatindicates
whatseasonthepoemisabout.Chuunibyouisthespringofyouth.

67
 33

33

Weslippedoutofthebirdzoneandintothesmallanimalzone.Thiswasthezone
thatgroupedtogetherpetslikethehamsters,rabbitsandferrets.

KomachireallygotintothePettingCorner,asevidencedbyalltheoohingand
aahingshemadeandhowshejustrefusedtobudgeaninchfromwhereshe
stood.Yukinoshita,ontheotherhand,cockedherheadafterashortlived
attempttopettheanimals.Itseemedthefeeloftheirfurwasntquitethe
sensationshewaslookingfor.ShewasmorehungupaboutitthanIexpected

Incidentally,theanimalsscamperedawaywheneverIgotnearthem.Well,damn.
DonttellmeIwashatedevenbysmallanimals.

Komachi,letsmoveon

Eeek,howcute!Ialmoststoodonit!Oh,huh.Oniichan,youcangoonahead.
Imgonnastickaroundalittlelongerhere.

ThatsoThereasonshethoughtitwascutewasntcuteatall.Wasthisgirl
okay?

SinceIdreceivedKomachispermissionandall,Idecidedtomoveon.IfIrecalled
correctly,thedogzonewasupaheadandthecatzonewasprobablyafterthat.

Okay,Yukinoshita.Thezoneafterthenextisthecatzone.Sorry,butcouldyou
watchKomachiforme?

Idontreallymind,butKomachisanisoldenoughtotakecareofherself,I
believe.Arentyoubeingoverprotective?

Nope.Itscalledkeepinganeyeonhersothatshedoesntstepontheanimals.

Idonotsteponthem,Komachiinterjected.Oh,Yukinosan,youdoknowyou
cangoaheadandlookatthecatstoo,right?

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 33

Oh,iisthatso?Wwell,sincewevecomethisfaralreadyYukinoshitasaid,
standinguphastily.Justhowmuchdidshewanttoseethosedamncats?Well
then,letsbeoff.

Then,ignoringmyexistencecompletely,sheboldlysteppedforwardinto
unchartedwaters.

Butthemomentthephrasedogzonecameintoview,shedidadoubletake.

Somethingthematter?Iasked.

Nothing

Yukinoshitaslackenedherwalkingpace,andthenslowlyshewalkedaroundme
sothatshewasbehindmyback,leavingmetotaketheinitiative.Crap,shesgot
myback!Imscrewed!Ithought,butatthesametimeIdidntfeelanyparticular
maliciousintentfromher.

ohright,itwasbecauseofthedogs.Shereallydidntlikethem,huh.

Imprettysureyoualreadyknowthis,butyoudorealisetheyrejustpuppies.

Sincethiseventalsofunctionedasasale,theparticularlyfamiliartypesofpetson
displaythecatsanddogswerepuppiesandkittens.Itwasallverysad,butit
wasabusiness.

Ihadnoideawhethermywordsgotthroughtoher,butYukinoshitaavertedher
gaze.PuppiesareevenwolImonlysayingthistobeclearaboutit,butitsnot
asifImbadwithdogsoranything,youunderstand?Thatistheyrenot
particularlymystrongsuit,youcouldsay.

Youknow,inoursocietythatmeansthesamethingasbeingbadatit.

Itswithinthemarginoferror.

Reallynow?Well,ifshesaidso.

Hikigayakunareyouadogperson?

69
 33

Imneutral.Idecidednottojoinanypartyorfaction.

Truewarriorsdontjoingroups.Lonerswillalwaysopposetheentireworld.The
wholeMeversustheworldthingwaslikesomethingoutofaStevenSeagal
film.IthoughtlikeStevenSeagal,soIwastotallyhim.

ButtherewasnotaglimmerofapprovalonYukinoshitasface.Itakethatto
meannoonewouldtakeyou?

Prettymuch.Butwhatever,letsgo.

Shereallywasprettymuchright,soIvoicednoobjections.Verballysparringwith
Yukinoshitawouldonlybringmepainandmisery,soIdecidedtocutmylosses
andmoveon.

Ithoughtforsureyouwouldbeadogperson,Yukinoshitamutteredidlyasshe
startedwalkingbehindme.

Huh?Why?Iasked,lookingovermyshoulder.

ButYukinoshitasanswerdidntoffermuchinthewayofhints.Itsbecauseyou
werethatdesperate.

WasthereatimeYukinoshitasawmegetdesperateoversomething?Onlyone
thingcametomind.Itwasprobablyfromthattime.

Totsukastennismatch.

Yeah,Ireallywasdesperatethattime.IfoughthardforTotsukassake.Imean,
hessocuteandall.Backthen,TotsukahadbeenallpreciouslikeaChihuahua,so
Iwouldcountmyselfasadogperson,indeed.

Inthatcase,itwasprobablycorrecttosayIwasaTotsukaperson.IthinkIloved
Totsukatoomuch.

AsIscratchedmyhead,thinkingOh,nowIvedoneit,Yukinoshitatappedmy
shoulderrepeatedly.Canyoupleasegetgoingalready?

Oh,right.

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 33

EggedonbyYukinoshita,IwentthroughacheapgatewithWoofWoofZone
writtenonit.Ahugemassofpotentialbuyersweregatheredinthecornerofthe
petshop,minglingwitheachother.Itseemedalotofcustomersweretherethe
dogsattractedthatmuchattention.Thepopularsmallsizedbreedslikethe
Chihuahuas,Dachshunds,ShibaInusandtheCorgiswerefirstonthelist,followed
bythestandardbreedsliketheLabradors,GoldenRetrievers,Beagles,Bulldogs
andsoon.Thebreederexplainingallofthesethingsspokewithsuchauthorityhe
lookedlikehewassomethingofapedigreehimself,whatwithallthetitleshe
usedthatwerehardtounderstand,likeGRANDCHAMPIONandFESTIVAL
NOMINEEandWORLDSELECTIONandGOODDESIGN.

Fromthemomentweenteredthedogzone,Yukinoshitarefusedtoopenher
mouth.ShewassodamnquietIalmostassumedshedstoppedbreathing.Allit
tooktogetmeallbotheredwasapersondeepinsilenceinabustling
surrounding.Seriously,itwastoonoisyaroundhere.Especiallywithallthose
squealinggirlssnappingphotos.

andwait,thatwasHiratsukasenseioverthere.LetsjustpretendIdidntsee
her.Senseipleasegoonadateorsomethingwhenitsyourdayoff.

Meh,oncewegetoutofherewecanhurryupandgettothecatcorner,Ithought,
butatthatmomentYukinoshitaletoutashortgasp.

JustaheadofusinourlineofuswasasectionwithTrimmingCornerwrittenon
it.

Hm,what?Iasked.Dotheyprocessphotos?

No.Theytrimthedogs,combingtheirhairandbringingoutthelustreintheir
fur.Itswidelyknownasgrooming.

GroomingUpJajaUma?Thatwasasuperfamousmanga1.

1
HesflippingaroundthetitleofJajaUmaGroomingUp!

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 33

AsIwasthinkingaboutthefoursistersatWataraiRanch,Yukinoshitawenton.
Toputitinlayterms,itsabeautyparlour,shesaidcondescendingly.

Eh,thatso?Howextravagant.ImsuretheFifthShogunwouldapprove2.

Notonlydotheyperformgrooming,thereareclassroomsforobediencetraining.
Perhapsyoushouldgiveitashot?

Shejustcasuallyputmeonthesamelevelasadogwithoutsomuchasblinking.
Iwasusedtoitbynow,sowhatever.

Aswewerehavingourpointlessdiscussion,itseemedonedoghadjustfinished
gettingtrimmed.ADachshundwithalongcoattrottedout,itsmouthyawning
wide.So,uh,whathappenedtotheowner?

Hholdon,Sable!Badboy,yourenotonyourleash!

ThelooseDachshundturneditsheadaroundattheorder,onlytocheerfully
ignoreit.Thenitdashedtowardstheexitlikeabulletinotherwords,towards
us.Eventhoughitwasjustadog.

HHikigayakun.ThthatdogisYukinoshitawasinapanic,notknowingwhat
todo.Shelookedaroundwildlyandherhandswereflailingallovertheplace.

itwasraretoseeherreactlikethis.Itwaskindofapleasantchange,really,soI
wastemptedtoleaveherbe,butthenoiseshewasmakingwasapaininthearse.

Lookhere,Isaid,seizingthedogbythescruffofitsneck.Ididntholddownour
catwheneveritgotpissedatmeandtriedtorunawayeverydayfornothing.
Catchinganimalsbyhandwasaspecialtalentofmine.

Thedogwaslookingatmewithmiserableeyes,butonceitgotoveritssurprise,it
broughtitsnoseuptomeandsniffedmebeforelickingmyfingers
enthusiastically.Startled,Iletgoofthedogwithoutthinking.

2
TheFifthShogun,TokugawaTsunayoshi,wasanotoriousshogunknownforbeingeccentricanda
tyrant.Healsohadathingfordogs,whichiswhyhesalsocalledtheDogEmperor.

72
 33

Whoops,Iletitslip

Ugh,youimbecile,Yukinoshitasaidscornfully.Ifyouletgoofit

Butfarfromrunningaway,thedogplayedaroundwithmyfeetandrolledover
leisurely.Itshowedmeitsstomach,itstonguewagging.

Whatwasupwiththisdog?Itsurewasoverlyattachedtome.

ThisdogYukinoshitapeeredatthedogcloselyfrombehindmyback.Um,not
thatitwasreallysuchascarylifeform,inmyopinion

SSable!Imsosorry!Theowner,whocamesprintingintoview,heldthedogin
herarmsandloweredherheadinprofuseapology.Herhairstyle,allbunchedup
likeadumplingball,swayedwiththemotion.IapologiseforwhatSable

Ohmy,ifitisntYuigahamasan,Yukinoshitadeclared,promptingtheownerto
lookupwithplainconfusionwrittenacrossherface.

Thathairstyle,thatvoice,thatattitudeofherstherewasnomistakingit.Itwas
Yuigahama.

73
 34

34

Huh?YYukinon?Thensheturnedtomemechanically.Oh.Oh.Huh?Hikki?
YourewithYukinon?YukinoshitalookedatYukinoshitaandmeinturn,uttering
wordsofplainbewilderment.

Yep,Isaid.

Oh.Ookay

Anextremelyawkwardsilencereignedbetweenus.Damn,thiswashard

TheawkwardsilencewasbrokenwhenthedogYuigahamawasholdingletouta
bark.Yukinoshita,whohadmerelybeenhidinginmyshadowthiswholetime,
flinchedinresponseandclosedthedistancebetweenus.Itseemedherdefault
reactionintimesofdangerwastousemeasashield.

oh,uuuuh.UmAsYuigahamagentlystrokedherdogonthehead,hergaze
wanderingoverthespacebetweenYukinoshitaandme.Icoulddetectasenseof
distancefromthataction.

Ididntexpecttoseeyouhere,YukinoshitasaidtoYuigahama,causingherto
flinchandshakealittleinresponse.

Yyeah.WhyareyouandHikkitogether,Yukinon?Imean,itsraretoseethe
twoofyoutogetherYuigahamaspoketoYukinoshitaratherstiffly,asifthey
hadntseeneachotherfordays.Sheclutchedherpetdogagainstherchest
tightly,notmeetingYukinoshitaseyes.

Shemighthaveaskeduswhyweweretogether,buttherewasnoreasonforitat
allsinceourmeetingwasatotalcoincidence.YukinoshitaandIexchangedglances
beforeopeningourmouthsattheexactsamemoment.See,thethingis

74
 34

Yuigahaminterruptedus.Oh,nevermindafterall!Itsokay,Imgood.Youdont
havetotellmeitsobviousifyoureouttogetheronadayoff,right?YeahI
nevernoticedatall,sillyme.AndhereIthoughttheonlythingIwasgoodatwas
readingthemood,shesaidwithastrainedsmile.

Asshescrunchedhereyesshut,astrainedlaughissuedfromhermouth.I
wonderedifshewashavingsomekindofweirdmisunderstanding.Diditreally
looklikeYukinoshitaandIweredatingtoher?Well,shedprobablyrealisethat
rightawayifshethoughtaboutitalittle,andbesides,comingoutandsaying
somethingsoobviouslikeWerenotreallygoingoutfelt,well,stupid.Iwasway
tooselfconscioustodoanythinglikethat.

Misunderstandingsweremisinterpretationsofthefacts.Theywerentthetruth.
Inthatcase,itwasbesttokeepitalltomyself.Ididntcarewhatanyonethought
ofme.Wait,themoreyouconstantlymisunderstandthings,themorelikelyyoud
enduponthewrongpath.Whatever,Igiveup.

ThedoginYuigahamasarmslookedupatitsownersfaceandletoutalonely
whine.YuigahamastrokedSableshead,utteringsoothingwords.Herfacewas
downcast.ThthenIshouldgetgoingnow.

Shebegantowalk,hergazepointedatherfeet.Shewasstoppedinhertracks
whenYukinoshitacalledouttoher.

Yuigahamasan.

Yukinoshitasvoiceresoundedclearlyinthemiddleofthehustleandbustle.Only
hervoicereachedmyears,asifallthenoiseinthebackgroundhadfadedaway.
Yuigahama,whoseeyeshadbeendowncastjustamomentbefore,instinctively
lookedinYukinoshitasdirection.

TheressomethingIneedtotellyouaboutus,socouldyoupleasecometothe
clubroomonMonday?

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oh,ahahaImightnotreallywanttohearitlike,theresnopointtellingme
now,whenitsnotmybusiness,Yuigahamasaidsoftly.Althoughtherewasa
troubledsmileonherface,herwordscarriedadefiniterefusal.

Yukinoshitaloweredhereyesslightly,dismayedbyYuigahamasattitude.The
levelofnoiseinthebackgroundwentupanotchormaybeItrickedmyselfinto
believingthat.Swampedbyallthesurroundingnoise,Yukinoshitafumbledfor
words.

Iwasn'tabletoconveythistoyoubecauseofthewayIam.Shepaused,
searchingfortherightthingtosay.ButIwanttotalkstraightwithyou.

Foralongmoment,Yuigahamasaidnothing,beforefinallymusteringadull
mmminresponse.Itwasneitheracceptancenorrejection.Asuspiciouslook
cameoverhereyesassheglancedsidewaysatYukinoshita,althoughshequickly
avertedhergaze.Thensheswungaroundandstartedwalkingaway.Yukinoshita
andIwatchedherretreatingfigureinsilence.

ItwasonlywhenYuigahamassmall,hunchedbackhaddisappearedintothe
crowdthatIaskedYukinoshita,whowasstandingnexttome,Hey.Whatdidyou
wanttotalkaboutwithYuigahama?

June18th.Doyouknowwhatdaythatis?Yukinoshitaasked,peeringatmyface
frombelow.

YukinoshitasfacewassoclosetomineItookhalfastepbackreflexively.Well,
itsnotanationalholiday,thatsforsure,Isaidbelatedly.

SatisfiedthatIhadnoidea,Yukinoshitapuffedoutherchest.ItsYuigahamas
birthday,sheannouncedproudly.Ithink,sheadded.

Really?andwait.Youthink?

Yes,herphoneaddresshad0618init,thatswhy.

SoyouneveraskedherstraightThatwasYukinoshitascommunicative
powersforyou.

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 34

ThatswhyIwanttocelebrateYuigahamasansbirthday.Evenifshenever
comesbacktotheServiceClubIwouldliketothankherproperlyforeverything
shehasdone,Yukinoshitasaidblushingly,hereyesloweredfurtively.

Isee

TherewasnodoubtthattoYukinoshita,whosepersonalityleftmuchtobe
desiredandwhosehighspecscontinuedtoinspireflamesofenvyonadailybasis,
Yuigahamawasthefirstfriendshehadevermade.Idoubtedherdesiretothank
Yuigahamawasalie.Muchasherwordswerecoatedwithselfdefeat,shewas
probablydesperatenottolosethatfriendship.

ohhhh.SodidallofthishappenbecauseofwhatIsaidtoYuigahama?

Feelingslightlyguilty,IpeeredsidewaysatYukinoshita,whorecoiledin
discomfort,havingnoticedIwaslookingather.Ahh,shedprobablytellmenotto
lookherbecauseIwasadisgustingcreepalloveragain.Withthatonmymind,I
avertedmyeyesquicklybeforeshecouldsayanything.Icoughed,mycheeks
reddeningsomewhat.

Hey,Hikigayakun

Yeah?

Yukinoshitaturnedaround,herhandsheldtightlyagainstherownchest.She
madeastrainednoise,asifshewasnervousorsomething.Inanattempttohide
herflushingpinkcheeks,shelookedatmewithhermoist,upturnedeyes.

NowIwasgettingnervoustoo,nothankstolookingherintheeyes.

Yukinoshitasnextwordscameoutinasmallwhisper,asifsomethingwascaught
inherthroat.

Er,thatiswwouldyougooutwithme?

huh?

77
 41

Chapter4:HikigayaKomachiCunninglyPlotsHerScheme

Sunday.

Itwasfineweather,whatonewouldcallararesunnypatchduringtherainy
season.TodaywasthedayIwassupposedtobegoingoutwithYukinoshita.

Justalittlebitoftimeuntilitwasexactlytenoclock.HadIturnedupalittletoo
early,Iwonder?Itseemedthiswholeaffairwasreallythrowingmeoffkilter.To
thinkYukinoshita,ofallpeople,wouldaskmeout

Whattodo?MaybeIshouldturnherdownafterallmymindhadbeenina
jumbleatthetime.ImsureIlostmyusualsenseofjudgementthanksto
YukinoshitasayingthingsIcouldnthaveimagined.

AsIgrippedmyhead,suppressingtheurgetoyelloutmyfrustration,avoice
calledoutbehindme.Sorrytohavekeptyouwaiting.

AcoolgustofwindblewasYukinoshitaslowlywalkedtowardsme.Shewas
wearingafaintbluesleevelessshirtwithaclassylookingstandupcollar.
Unusuallyenoughforher,herblackhairwastiedupinaponytail,whichfelldown
toherwaistandflutteredlikeascarf.Herskirt,whichwenttoherknees,danced
everytimeshewalked.

ItwasntlikeIwaswaitingalongtime,Imumbled.

Isthatso?Good,then.Nowletusbeoff.

Yukinoshitahitchedherrattanbagasshepeeredaroundrestlessly,asiftryingto
spotsomeoneinthesurroundings.

IfyourelookingforKomachi,shewenttotheconveniencestore,soyoullhave
towaitabit.

Isee.Yukinoshitawassilentforamoment.Still,IfeelIoughttoapologisefor
askinghertomeetmeonadayoff...

78
 41

Itsnobiggie.EvenifyouandIweretobuyabirthdaypresentforYuigahama,I
sincerelydoubtitdbeanygood.Plus,Komachiwashappytocomealong,soits
fine.

Yes,thatsallwellandgood,but

Andwiththat,allowmetounveiltheobviousreveal.Whenshesaidgooutwith
me,shereallyjustwantedtogoandbuyapresentforYuigahamasbirthday.
AnditwasntmeshewanteditwasKomachi.

Well,itwasanintelligentdecision.Upuntilnow,wedalwaysrelyonYuigahama
forthesethings,butwecouldntexactlyrelyonherthistimewhenitwasforher
sakeweweredoingthis.Thatbeingthecase,theonlypersontheantisocial
YukinoshitacouldcountonwasKomachi.

Fortwowholeminuteswewaitedinsilence,untilKomachifinallyshowedup.

PerhapsitwasbecauseshewasawareshewasgoingoutwithYukinoshitatoday,
butKomachisclothingsensehadtakenaturnfortheclassier.Sheworea
summervestoverherhalfsleeveblouseandapleatedskirtwithkneesocksover
herlowerhalf,whiletheloafersonherfeetcompletedtheposhladylook.Butthe
somewhatfrivolousnewsboycapsheworeonherheadgaveoffaperkysortof
impression.Inherhand,sheheldaplasticbottlewithgreenteainit.

Hithere,Yukinosan!Goodday.

Sorryforcallingyououtonyourdayoff,Yukinoshitaapologised.

Komachirespondedwithabroadgrin.Noproblem.Iwanttobuyapresentfor
Yuisantoo,andplusImlookingforwardtospendingthedayoutwithyou,
Yukinosan.

Knowingthischick,shereallydidloveYukinoshitawithallherheart,soIdidnt
thinkshewaslying.IguessthatmeansYukinoshitaattractstheairheadedgirls.
ShewasthemostpopularpersonwiththegirlsIknewofnexttoHayama,
seriously.

79
 41

Thetrainsabouttoarrive,soletsgo,Isaid,urgingonthetwoofthem.

Weallmadeourwaydowntotheticketbarrier.Today,ourdestinationwasthe
widelylovedLaLaportTokyoBay,aplacefrequentlyusedasadatespotifthe
rumoursweretobebelieved.Filledwithvariousshopsanddeckedoutwith
amplespaceforfilmevents,itwasthecreamofthecropwhenitcametoleisure
spotsintheprefecture.

Theinteriorofthetraincarriagewasfairlycongestedinitsownright.Weheld
ontothehangingstrapsforfivewholeminutesasthetrainshookandjoltedus
around.Inalllikelihood,ifitwasjustYukinoshitaandme,weprobablywouldnt
havesaidanything,butsinceKomachiwastheretoday,shespoketoYukinoshita
aboutthis,thatandtheother.

Haveyoudecidedwhatyouregoingtobuyyet,Yukinosan?

no,Ivelookedaroundhereandthere,butitsallsomewhatbeyondme,
Yukinoshitasaidwithasmallsigh.

PerhapsYukinoshitahadbeenthinkingaboutYuigahamasbirthdaypresentwhen
shewasreadingthatmagazineintheclubroom.ItdidntseemlikeYukinoshita
andYuigahamahadsimilartaste

AndIveneverreceivedabirthdaypresentfromafriendmyselfYukinoshita
admitted,herexpressionsomewhatgloomy.

WhenKomachiheardthat,shewentquiet,thesmilefadingfromherfacetoo.
Sheseemedtobestrugglingaboutwhattosaytothat.

Ieventuallybrokethesilencebyhummingininterest.Soyoureallyarelikethat.
Nowme,ontheotherhand,Itotallyreceivedpresents.

Huh?Yourenotlying?

Yukinoshitasstunnedreactionsomehowcameacrosstomeasratherimpolite.
No,Imnot,Iinsisted.Theredbenopointinmetryingtoshowofftoyouafter
allthistime.

80
 41

Yukinoshitanoddedinadmirationforsomereason.ThatcertainlyistrueI
spokeonimpulse.Iapologise.Imustnttreatyousolelywithsuspicion.Fromnow
on,Iwillfullytrustinyourworthlessness.

Ifthatwasyourideaofacompliment,youvegotanotherthingcoming.

So,whatdidyoureceive?Imaskingyouforfuturereference.

Corn

ThatcausedawideeyedYukinoshitatoblinkmultipletimes.Huh?sheaskedin
response,asifshedidnthearmeproperly.

Ccorn

Comeagain?

Well,yousee!Hecamefromafarmingfamily!Letmejustsaythatittasted
awesome!Hismumsteameditforme,yousee!

Ooniichan.Yyoudonthavetolooksotearyeyed

Iwasntcrying.Iwasabsolutelynotcryingoranythingremotelylikethat.See,it
wasonlyabitofwatercomingoutofmyeyes.Yes,thatwasthestoryofmy
summervacationinfourthgrade

OniichanrandomlystartedtalkingtohimselfKomachisaid,rollinghereyes.

ButYukinoshitawaswillingtolisten.Shenodded,urgingmetocontinue.

Sinceourmumswerefriendsorwhatever,Takatsukuncametoourhouse.It
wasthefirsttimeaclassmatehadevercomeoverformybirthday,soIwaskind
ofelated.WhenIwenttothefrontoftheentrance,Takatsukunwassittingonhis
mountainbike,andasheshiftedtofifthgear,hehandedmethisbundlewrapped
upinnewspaper.

Todaysyourbirthday,right?Here,mymumtoldmetogivethistoyou.

Ththanks

81
 41

Hesaidnothing.ThenIsaid,Youcominginside?

Huh?Ohhh,um.IpromisedtoplayatShinchansplace.

Oh,okay

WHATTHE?HEDIDNTINVITEME?Iwaskindofonthevergeoftearsatthat
point,sinceIthoughtIgotalongsowellwithShinchan.TakatsukunsaidSeeyou
laterandstartedpedallingawayonhismountainbike.AfterIwatchedhimgo,I
openedupthepackageandinsidetherewasfreshcorn,allwetfromthemorning
dew.WhenIrealisedthat,asingletearpouredout,andthenanother

Yukinoshitasighedalittlebitattheendofthetale.Sointheend,younever
receivedapresentfromafriend.

egad,youreright!MeandTakatsukunwerentfriends!

Iwasrealisingthetruthsevenyearsafterthefact.Inthatcase,IdoubtedifShin
chanwasmyfriendeither.

ItseemedmyanguishedcriesreachedYukinoshita,becauseshehadafaraway
lookinhereyes.Butindeed,thatdoeshappenwhenparentsgooutshe
murmured.Ireallywishparentswouldstopleavingthechildrentotheirown
deviceswhilsttheychatamongeachother.

Yeah,thatkindofthinghappens.Childrensgroupsanddaycaressurewere
toughIdidntevengetalongwiththekidsinmyownyearlevel,letalonethe
others,youknow?Iwasalwaysreadingabookonmyownthenetresultwas
goodsinceIcameacrossabunchofgoodbooks,though.

Ialsohavememoriesofreadingbooksmostofthetimestill,Ihadfunbecause
Ivealwayslikedreadingandwriting.

Whoawhoaaaa!Whatniceweatheroutside!Komachistartedlookingoutthe
windowsuddenly,breakingthegloomy,oppressiveatmosphere.

Theblueskystretchedoutendlessly,signifyingthebeginningofsummer.Today
wouldbeahotday,itseemed.

82
 42

42

WhenyouwalkashortdistancefromMinamiFunabashistation,theresanIKEA
tothelefthandside.Ontopofbeingafancyfurnitureshop,itwasoneofthe
popularspotstohangout.Alongtimeago,theleisurespotsaroundhereusedto
formagiant,allencompassinglabyrinth,andafterthatitbecameanindoorski
building.Theoldstructurewas,ofcourse,nolongeraround.Icouldsensehow
muchtimehadpassed.BeforeIknewit,Idbecomeagrownup.

Thewholeskiwithoutprotectionsloganreallybroughtbackmemories.
NowadayswhenIhearthewordwithoutprotection,Icanonlythinkof
condoms.Icouldsensehowmuchtimehadpassed.BeforeIknewit,Idbecomea
grownup

Oncewefinishedcrossingthepedestrianbridge,theentrancetotheshopping
mallwasconnectedtoit.Asshepeeredatthedirectoryboardonthepremises,
Yukinoshitafoldedherarmsinthought.Imsurprisedthisplaceisquite
enormous.

Yep,saidKomachi.Letssee,wedbebetteroffdividingupthezonesand
narrowingdownwhatwewant.

Thisplacemighthavebeenrightnextdoortomyownneighbourhood,butitwas
thepicedersistanceofshoppingmalls.Iwouldntbeabletotellyouitsexact
size,butitwouldprobablytakethewholedayjusttowalkfromoneendtothe
otherifyouweretakingyourtimeaboutit.Ifweweregoingtomessaroundhere,
weneededtomapoutourcourseprecisely,itseemed.

Right,weoughttotakeefficiencyintoaccountwhenwecircletheplace.Okay,
Illgoaroundhere.Ipointedtotherightofthedirectoryboard.

Yukinoshitarespondedbypointingtotheleft.Indeed.ThenIlltaketheopposite
direction.

83
 42

Yessss,thatoughttosplittheworkinhalf.AllIneededtodonowwasassign
Komachisplaceandourefficiencywouldbeperfect.

Right,yougodownthatway,Koma

Stoprightthere,Komachisaidinasingsongvoiceassheyankedonmyindex
finger,whichwaspointedatthedirectoryboard.

Whatthehell?Goddamnit,youhurtmyfinger

Komachiwatchedmecurseundermybreathandletoutabigsigh,shrugging.She
didthewholeMan,thisguyreallydoesntgetreaction,justlikeanAmerican.
Damn,didthatattitudepissmerightoff.

ItseemedIwasnttheonlyonewhowasbaffledbythatattitude,because
YukinoshitacockedherheadasshepeeredatKomachi.Istheresomekindof
problem?

Bothofyououghtaquittakingtheloneroptionbydefault,oniichan,Yukinosan.
Sincewecameallthiswayasagroup,whynotlookaroundtogether?Thatway
wecanexchangeadvice,whichhelps.

ButIdoubtwedbeabletocompletethecircuit

Nobiggie!Accordingtomyexpertopinion,weshouldhavenoproblemsifwe
focusonthisplacewithYuisansinterestsinmind,Komachisaidasshetookout
apamphletlocatedunderneaththedirectoryboardandopenedit.

TheplaceKomachiwaspointingtowaslocatedintheheartofthefirstfloor.It
waslinedupwithnameslikeLoveCraft,whichwascrawlingwithlove,andLisa
Lisa,whichwasthesortofnamethatcouldteachyouhowtousetheRipple1.
Thewholeplacewasprobablypiledwithshopsstockedwithproductsaimedat
younggirls.

1
LoveCraftisareferencetothehorrorwriterH.P.Lovecraft,andthecrawlingwithlovepartisa
referencetoHaiyore!Nyarukosan(lit.Nyarukosan:CrawlingwithLove),whichisalightnovelseries
fullofreferencesofH.P.Lovecraft.LisaLisaisacharacterfromJoJosBizarreAdventure.Sheteachesthe
protagonistshowtousetheRipple,whichisthemainsourceofpowerinPartTwoofthemanga.

84
 42

Right,shallwegothere?Isaid,towhichYukinoshitanoddedasifshehadno
particularobjectionseither.

Andwiththat,wewereoff.

Thegirlyzonewastwoorthreeblocksahead.Abunchofdifferentbrandname
shopssellingvariousgoodsaimedatboysandbothgenderswerelineduponthe
waythere.TherewassomuchdifferentstuffIcouldnthelpbutadmireityou
reallycouldnttakeitallinatoneglance.Itooktheleadonthewaythere,but
sinceIdidntnormallycometothesetypesofhugeshoppingmalls,Ihad
absolutelynoconfidenceaboutwheretogo.

ForonceIhadsomethingincommonwithYukinoshita,whowasturningherhead
distractedly,lookingthiswayandthat.Exceptshehadthisserenesmileplastered
overherface.Attheveryleastshedidntseembored.Sometimes,shestoppedin
hertracksandstaredattheproductsondisplay.Butthemomentashopassistant
approachedher,shedetectedtheirpresenceanddartedaway.

ah,Iunderstoodhowshefeltalltoowell.Ireallywishtheydstoptalkingtoyou
whenyourepickingoutclothes.Clothingshopassistantsoughttomastertheskill
ofsensingthedonttalktomeaurathatexudesfromloners.Iftheydidthat,I
reckontheirsaleswouldprobablygoup.

Asallofthiswasgoingon,wecametoaforkintheroad,whereonecouldmove
ontoanotherblocktotheleftandtotheright.Moreover,Icouldseeeachpath
hadanescalatorgoingup.

Recallingthedirectoryboard,IturnedtoKomachiasIpointedtotheright.
Komachi,dowejustgostraightfromhere?

ButwhenIturnedaround,Komachiwasntthere.

Hhuh?

85
 42

KomachiwasnowheretobeseennomatterhowmuchIlookedaround.Asfor
whatIcouldseeinstead,itwasonlyaweirdpandaplushiewithevileyesand
sharpenedclaws,alongwithfangsthatglintedinthelight.Yukinoshitawaspulling
itscheekswithatotallystraightlookonherface.

ItwasthepopularcharacterfromTokyoDisneyland,PansanthePanda.The
PansansBambooHuntwassuchapopularattractionitwascommontowait
twoorthreehoursforit2.

TokyoDisneyland,atouristattractionwhichneedsnointroduction.Asmuchasit
wasChibasprideandsoul,itwasquiteafunkyexistencethatreekedof
humiliation,seeingasithadtocallitselfTokyoDisneylandeventhoughitwasin
Chiba.ItwaslocatedinMaihama,buttheoriginalreasonforthatwasbecauseit
resembledMiamiBeachanawfullot,apparently.AndthatwasyourChiba
Prefecturelessonfortheday.

Yukinoshita,Icalledouttoher.

Yukinoshitahastilyputthethingshehadbeenplayingwithuptillnowbackonthe
shelfandflickedherhaircoolly.What?shedemandedwithhereyesalone.

Er,umitwasntlikeIwasabouttosayanythinginparticularIknewfromthat
wholecatincidentfromyesterdaythat,whenfacedwithYukinoshitasattitude,
thecorrectresponsewasnottobringitup.

YouhaventseenKomachi,haveyou?Lookslikeshewanderedoffsomewhere.

Ihaventseenher,cometothinkofitwhydontyouringher?

Okay.

ItriedcallingKomachipromptly.AssoonasIdidthat,thisweirdmusicIcouldnt
wrapmyheadaroundrangoutonceagain.So,um,whywasthischickscell
phonesinging?

2
AreferencetoPoohsHunnyHunt.

86
 42

Thecallhadgottenthroughallright,butKomachiwasnttheretoanswer.Upon
hearingtheansweringservice,Igaveupandendedthecall.

Shesnotpickingup

WhileIwasonthephone,Yukinoshitasbaggagehadbeenpilingup.Shewas
holdingthisinsanelybrightandgaudyplasticbagalongwithherrattanbag.So
shewentaheadandboughtit,huh

PerhapsrealisingthatIwaspeeringatherwithalookoffaintdisgust,Yukinoshita
pretendednottonoticemeasshestuffedherpurchaseintoherbag.Iwonderif
somethingcaughtKomachisansattentionshesaidnonchalantly.Indeed,
therearecertainproductsonewouldbuyonimpulse.

Solikeyou,then.Mygazewenttoherbag.

Yukinoshitacoughedabruptly.Anyway.SinceKomachisanisawareofour
ultimatedestination,weoughttomeetthere.Theresnopointdawdlinghere.

Yeah,Iguess...

AfterIsentKomachiatextsaying,Ringme,youfool.Imgoingonahead,I
decidedtogetamoveon.

soooo,weturnrighthereandgostraightahead,hmm?Iasked,confirming
aloudbecauseIalreadyknewwheretogo.

Yukinoshitagazedblanklyinresponse.Isntitleft?

Thecorrectanswerwasright.

87
 43

43

Thesurroundingatmosphereturnedbright.Pastelsandvividhuesblendedinthe
openroom,whereafloweryandsoapyscentwaftedthroughtheair.Wedcome
toaplaceforgirlsindeed:clothingstoresandaccessoryshops,shopsspecialising
inshoesandothersinkitchenutensils.Andthen,ofcourse,thelingeriestores.An
uncomfortable,otherworldlyplacewasopeningupbeforeme.

Thisseemstobetheplace,Iimagine,Yukinoshitasaidwithacoolface.

Butasforme,Iwascompletelywornout.Ohman,tothinkwedgetlostfour
timesyourereallybadatstufflikemathematicalshapes.

Thatsabitrichcomingfromyou...

Youdontneedmathswhenyouredoingliberalartsataprivateuniversity.I
threwitawayfromthebeginning.Sogettingthelowestscoredoesntmeansquat
tome.

Thelowestscore,yousayjusthowlowareyoutalking?

Anineoutofahundredhastobethelowestscore.Source:me.

canyouevenmoveontothenextgrade?

Yes,withmakeuptestsafteryougetcalledinforsupplementarylessons.Since
thequestionstheymakeyoudoonthesupplementaryworksheetsappearonthe
makeuptesttoo,itsabattleofmemorisation.Well,Iguessbeingheldbacka
yearwouldbeapaininthearsefortheteachertoo,seeingastheytookallthose
reliefmeasuressotheywouldnthavetodotheattendance.

Soanyway,whatareyougonnabuy?Iasked.

hmm,perhapsadurabletypeofitemthatcanbeusedoveralongperiodof
time.

88
 43

Thatsaprettylongwindedwayofsayingofficesupplies.NomatterhowI
lookedatit,Idoubtedthatwasthestandardbywhichyoushouldbuyapresent
forayounggirl.

Iwasconsideringbuyingthose.

Soyouwereactuallyconsideringit,huh

ButtheydidnotseemlikethekindofthingYuigahamasanwouldbehappy
overindeed,Idontbelieveshedbehappyoverafountainpenoratoolset
either.

Whatanastutejudgement

Indeed,IcouldhardlyimagineYuigahamasaying,Whoa!Ialwayswantedthisset
ofscrewdrivers!Oh,theresevenanAllenkey!Yippee!Acrowbartoo!Yukinon,
thankyousooooomuch!ButIgotthefeelingitwouldbekindofaprevalent
reactionamongfemalemachinerygeeks.

Soooo,Isaid,youdecidedtogetsomethinginlinewithYuigahamas
interests.

Indeed.IwanttomakeherhappywhateverwayIcan

Yukinoshitahadthisserenesmileonherface.IfYuigahamasawthatexpression,I
imagineshewouldhavebeenbeyondhappy.

Right,thenletshurryupandpicksomethingout,huh?

Holdonjustasecond.WhataboutKomachisan?

Ah,thatremindedmeshenevercalledback.WithoutKomachiaround,we
wouldntbeabletogetanydetailedadvice.Shemighthavenarroweddown
Yuigahamaspreferredgenreforus,butwecouldntmakethefinalpurchaseifwe
didntknowwhattoget.Imightneedsomehelpforthefineraspects,butatleast
IwasntasoutoftouchwithteenagegirlsasYukinoshitawas.Fountainpensand
toolsetsdidnotseemlegittome.

89
 43

Ilookedovermycellphone,buttherewasnowordfromKomachi.WhenItried
callingher,thefamiliarmusicfromKomachisphonemadeacacophonyevery
time.Imeanseriously,whywasthischickscellphonesinging?

Helloooooo!

Hey,whereareyourightnow?Wereherealready.Werewaitingnowsohurry
up.

Huh?ohhh.TherewereallthesethingsIwantedtobuysoItotallyforgot.

Tothinkmylittlesistercouldbesuchanairhead...ImkindofshockedIm
relatedtoyou.

Wow,Ididntknowhermemorywasthisbad.Nowondershewasalwaysslipping
upatsubjectsthatrequiredmemorisation.AsIwasdwellingonthatthought,I
heardanextremelyridiculingsighfromtheotherendofthephone.

man,youcantgetitthroughyourthickskull,huh,oniichan?Well,whatever.
LookslikeIlljustgohomebymyselfsinceIllprobstakeanotherfivehoursyet.
Godspeed,youtwo!

Uh,wait,hangonaminute!

What,isYukinosannervousaboutbeingalonewithyou?Theresnoneedto
worryatallIthink.

Uh,Ireallydontgiveadamnaboutthat,butareyouokayonyourown?Imean,
thisisreallynotthekindofplaceamiddleschoolershouldbe

Imean,itwasaplacewheresomanydifferenttypesofpeoplemingledondays
off.Therewasapossibilitythatyoucouldgetwrappedupinsomeincidentor
accident.NottomentionKomachiwasstillagirlinmiddleschool.Andshewas
cutebecauseshewasmysisterandall.Shemightputmedownanddostuffthat
pissedmeoff,butIcouldnthelpbutworryabouther.

Komachididntsayanythingforamoment.Man,Iwishyouwerethisconsiderate
aboutotherthings.Illbeokay.Itsmeweretalkingabout.

90
 43

Uh,Imworriedbecauseitsyouweretalkingabout.

Shedprobablyeasilygowithsomeoneiftheyboughthersweetsordazzledher
withmoney,afterall

Oniichan,whodoyoutakemefor?YoudoknowImyoursister?

Whoa,shekindofsaidsomethingreallymoving.

Thatswhyyourecompletelyfinebyyourself!Infact,beingaloneiswhatmakes
youcomealive!

Thereasonitselfwasreallysaddening.

Butactually,sincebeingalonedidmakemecomealive,therewasnothingIcould
saytoobject.See,thethingis,IsayheapswhenImplayinggamesorwhatever.
LikeMaaaan,nowaaaay!orOho,soyoucame,huh?orRinko,Iloveyou.
ThankstothatIdgetintothisbindwheremymothersayssomethinglike,Oh,so
youhavefriendsover?andIdgetallflusteredandrespond,Er,IImonthe
phoneItwasnolongersafetoplayLovePlusatmyhouse1.

Finecallmestraightawayifanythinghappens.No,wait,callmeevenifnothing
happens.

Okay,okay.Right,Imhangingupnow!Goodluck,oniichan!Andwiththat,the
callended.Allthatwasleftwasaroboticbeepingnoise.

Notthatyouneededlucktodoshopping

IclosedmyphoneandturnedtoYukinoshita.SeemsKomachiwantstobuysome
things.Soshesleftallthehardworktous.

Iseewell,shedidmaketheefforttocomeallthewayhereonadayoff,soI
havenorighttocomplain,saidYukinoshita,soundingsomewhatdisappointed.
WeknowaboutYuigahamasanspreferredgenre,soletsmakedowiththat,
sheaddedtogetherselfpsychedagain.

1
LovePlusisapopulardatingsimgamefortheDS.Rinkoisoneofthedateableheroines.

91
 43

Shit,nowImworried.

Indifferenttomyanxiety,Yukinoshitapromptlymadeforthenearbyclothing
store.Assoonasshewasinside,shepickeduptheproductsondisplayand
inspectedthemwithastraightface.Idecidedtowalkintothestore,following
suit.

Iregretteditalmostimmediately.

Forastart,itwaspainfulhowallthesevariouswomenstaredataguywhohad
justcomein.ItwasliketheythoughtIwasaninsect.Whatsmorewasthatthe
shopassistantsprangonherfeetsuddenly,asifwaryofmyeverymove.
Everyoneintheroomgavemeawideberth.

Why,damnit?Imean,therewereotherguysinthestore!WasIbeing
discriminatedagainst?Iwas,wasntI?!Afterall,theguysinthestorewereall
riajuutypes.Theyhadscarvesaroundtheirneckseventhoughitwasntcoldand
theyworeveststhatmadethemlooklikehunters.Icouldseeveryplainlythat
theywereriajuutypes.Whatwaswiththoseweirdstringsontheirpants?What
purposedidtheyserve?

Um,sirareyoulookingforsomething?afemaleshopassistantaskedme,
hidingherwarinessofmeunderneathatightlippedsmile.

Uh,no,umssorry,Iapologisedonimpulse.

Myunnecessaryapologymusthaveincitedthefemaleshopassistantsfeelingsof
suspicionevenfurther,becauseanotheronesooncamein.Crap,shedcalledher
allies!Thiswasntgonnaendwell!

IfIkeptdawdlingaround,shedcallevenmoreallies.JustasIwasthinkingof
makingabreakforit,Iwasofferedahelpinghand.

Hikigayakunwhatdidyoudo?Tryontheladiesclothes?Yououghttodothat
sortofthingathome.

Youdontdothatanywhere!Andbesides,Ididntdoanything,okay

92
 43

Yukinoshitaapproachedme,lookingdownonmeimperiously.Asaresult,the
suspicionfadedfromtheshopassistantseyes.Justasyoudexpectfrom
Yukinoshita.Makingpeoplebackoffwasherareaofexpertise.

Oh,youwerewaitingonyourgirlfriend,Isee.Pleasetakeyourtime,saidthe
soleremainingshopassistantinunderstandingbeforesheturnedtoleave.

No,thatwasntwhatIwasdoingatall

Youwerent?Thenyoureallyareasuspiciousperson

Hereyeschangedfrombluetored!Idmadethewrongchoice!Nowshewason
theoffensive!Atthisrate,Iwasheadedstraightforthebadend.

GoodlordHikigayakun,letsgo.Inanattempttoescapefromtheshop
assistantswhowereburstingintothescene,Yukinoshitapulledonmyhand.That
wasallittooktowardthemoff.

Oncewewereoutsidethestore,thetensionfinallyeased.

say,amIreallythatsuspiciouslooking?

Withtheheavyexpressiononmyface,myeyeswereamilliontimesmorerotten
thanusual,Isuspected.IreckonifIweretosayitinEnglish,IhadMEGArotten
eyes.

Yukinoshitadidntpretendtoridiculemeformysuspiciouslookingappearance,
perhapsoutofherownwayofshowingsympathy.Alonemalewillberegarded
withsuspicioneitherway.FromwhatIsaw,allthemalesinthatstorewerepart
ofacouple.

Igetitnow.Itwasagirls/couplesonlyzone,justlikethephotobooths.That
beingthecase,therewasnothingIcoulddoaboutit.Ididnthavethegutsorthe
determinationtogetpastthatbarrieragain.

right,thenIlljuststandoverthere,Isaid,pointingatabenchsomedistance
away.

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Thestoreitselfwascrawlingwithgirls.IfIwerealoneamongthem,itwasnthard
toimagineIdcopaheapofstrangelooks.Atanyrate,itwasasbadasbeing
staredatoddlyintheclassroom.ButifIweresittingonafaroffbench,thenI
expectednobodytoblowthewhistleonme.AslongasIdidntactsuspicious,Id
beokay.Ithink.Maybe.WouldIbeokay?Whatever,betterpreparefortheworst,
IthoughtasImademywaytothebench.

Holditrightthere.

Huh?

IturnedaroundtoseeYukinoshitawalkingtowardsme,herheadheldhigh.

Doyouplantoleavethingstomyjudgement?Idontmeantosoundarrogant,
butmystandardsareveryfarremovedfromtheaverageteenagegirl.

Soyouknew

Well,thiswasthegirlwhowasthinkingofbuyingatoolsetforapresentjusta
whileago.

So,uhIdappreciateitifyoudhelpmeoutorsomethingYukinoshitasaid
withimmensedifficulty,herheadfurrowed.Hergaze,whichwaspointedatthe
solesofherfeet,flittedaroundnervouslyfromsidetoside.

Shereallyhadtobeatalossifshewasaskingmeforhelp.Letmejustmakeit
clearthatIveneverboughtapresentforagirlinmylifeatleastnotproperly.If
weretalkingabouttryingtogiveapresentandgettingshutdown,thats
happenedtomebefore.

Well,muchasIwouldabsolutelylovetohelpyouout,Ianswered,itsnotlikeI
cangoinsi

Yukinoshitaletoutadeepsigh,asifresigningherselftosomething.Inthatcase,
itcantbehelped.Keepaclosedistance,please.

Huh?Distance?Istaredather,puzzled.

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Yukinoshitagotalittlehuffyinresponse.MustIspellitout?Thatifyoureonly
capableofinhalingairandspittingitbackout,thenthatairconoverthereis
superiortoyou?

Indeed.Cleaningtheairandconservingenergywassuperuseful.Iwishtheyd
hurryupandequipitwiththeabilitytoreadtheatmospheretoo.

Inotherwords,Imallowingyoutopretendtobemyboyfriend,justfortoday.

Talkaboutcondescending.

Wow,whatabitch.

Myirritationmusthaveshownonmyface,becauseYukinoshitaglaredatme
venomously.Areyouunhappywiththisarrangement?

Notparticularly,no.

IIseeYukinoshitalookedfranklysurprised,nottomentionletdown.

Butitreallywasntsomethingtobesosurprisedover.ThelastthingIwantedto
bewasthischicksboyfriendorwhatever,butIdidntparticularlymindthe
pretendingpart.Yukinoshitadoesntlie.Sowhenshesaidfortoday,shedidnt
meanforanyminutelonger,andwhenshesaidpretendtobemyboyfriend,
therewasnomisunderstandinggoingonthere.

ThatwaswhyIcouldgetonboardwiththisplanwithoutreservations.

Yukinoshitafullytrustedinmyworthlessness,whileIhadabsolutetrustthatshe
wouldntgivemethetimeofday.Couldyoureallycallthistrust,Iwonder?I
didntfeellikewehadeachothersbacksatall.Whatthehell?

Realisingthatshehadaverystupidlookonherface,Yukinoshitaattemptedto
hideitbyswingingaround.Ithoughtforcertainyouddisapprove,shesaidat
length,talkingtothewall.

Nah,Idonthaveanyrealreasontorefuse.Whataboutyou?Dontyou
disapproveyourself?Iretorted.

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Yukinoshitaturnedbackaround,herexpressionunconcerned.Idontmindin
particular.Iwontbeseenbyanyonewhoknowsmebyface,andgiventhatIm
surroundedonlybystrangers,Ihavenoneedtoworryaboutany
misunderstandingsorrumoursthatcouldresultinfinancialloss.

Soshejustnonchalantlytreatedevenmeasastranger.Well,whatever.

Wellthen,shallwego?Yukinoshitasaidassheturnedforthenextstore.I
startedwalkingbesideher.

Wedidnthaveanyexpectationsofeachother,andinmyopinionnothaving
anythingexpectedofyoureallytakesaloadoffyourmind.Imean,thinkofitthis
way.WasntPandorasBoxfilledwithalltheevilsalongwithhope?Thatswhat
havingexpectationsmeans.Hopeandevil.

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44

Tomysurprise,thingspickedupsmoothlyfromthenextclothingstorewe
enteredonwards.Somehow,theworldwassimplerthanIthoughtitwaslike
takingcandyfromababy.Allittookforpeopletoassumeayoungboyandgirl
weredatingwasforthemtowalktogether.Andyeah,itwastrueformetoo,
cometothinkofit.ConsideringhowinmyheartIalwayscursedhighschoolaged
boysandgirlswhentheyweretogether,itmightactuallybeathing.Whenthe
shopassistantssizedmeupandfoundmelacking,allittookfortheirsuspicionto
clearwasformetobeclosetoYukinoshita.

Havingdeclaredthatthosearoundherwereonlystrangers,Yukinoshitawarded
offtheshopassistantswhospoketoherwithaterseImfine,thanksandmade
herselectionswithaseriouseye.Somethingwouldcatchherattentionfromtime
totimeandshewouldsquishitsidewaysandstretchitvertically.Ithoughther
basisforevaluatingthingswasratherweird.

Shallwemoveonthenextplace?Shefoldedtheclothesinherhandnimblyand
returnedthemtotheshelf,lookingsomewhatworriedabouttheirdurability.

Youknow,Iveneverpickedoutmyclothesbasedonhowsturdythematerialis
inmylife.SomehowIdontthinkYuigahamathinksabouttheprotectivepowers
ofherclothingorwhatever.

Clothesmadeoutofclothwerefine,thankyouverymuch.Itwasntlikethere
weremonstersaround,afterall.

Yukinoshitasighed.Well,excuseme.Icanonlymakejudgmentsbasedonthe
qualityofthematerialandthestitching.Shefellsilentforamoment.Youknow,
IneverknewwhatYuigahamasanlikedorwhatshewasinterestedinnothing
alongthoselines.

Hersighthenwasadeeper,moreweariedsighthanIhadeverheardfromher
before.Shewasprobablydwellingonallthethingsshenevergottolearn.

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Inthatcase,itwasapointlessregret.

Whocaresifyoudontknow?Idgetmorepissedatsomeonetreatingmelike
theyknoweverythingaboutmewhentheyonlyknowsuperficialstuff.Itskinda
likesendingpeanutsfromsomeotherplacetoaChibaresident.

ThatexampleissospecifictoChibanobodywouldunderstanditYukinoshita
said,somewhattakenaback.

Hmph,didthatnotgetacross?Toputitsimply,Chibaresidentsarefedupwith
peanuts.Wedontboastthehighestproductionoutputintheentirecountryfor
nothing.Andseriously,itwaskindofweirdhow70percentorsoofpeanutscome
fromChiba.Incidentally,20percentcomesfromIbaraki.Peoplecalleditthe
peanutregion.

Toputitinlaymanterms,itslikesendingwinetoasommelierwhenyouveonly
gotavagueknowledgeaboutwineyourself,Iguess.

ThatmakessenseitstandstoreasonYukinoshitanoddedinagreementasif
sheunderstoodwhatIhadjustsaid.

Youknow,mydaddidthatsooftenwhenhegotmeabirthdaypresent.Hegot
PlaystationsandSegaSaturnsmixedupandthatkindofthing.TheSuperFamicon
wassoldout,butwhatever,theSegaGenesisandthe3DOmadethesame
beepingnoisetohim.Wheneveryougiveapresentwithhalfassedknowledgeof
theotherperson,theresultwasusuallylessthansatisfactory.

yourtwistedsenseofvaluescomesinhandysometimes,Yukinoshitasaid,
halfimpressed,althoughIdidntfeellikeIwasbeingpraisedatall.Yetindeed,
oneschancesofwinningareslimwhenyoufightagainsttheotherpersons
strongsuit.Towin,youmustpiercetheirweakpointinstead

Ifchoosingapresentwasabattleforher,didherfamilyconsistofAmazonsor
something?Well,youmightpiercetheirweakpoint,buttheycouldalsohave
thingscompensatingfortheirweakpoints.Thatsatisfiesthepracticalconditions
youtalkabout.

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Indeed.Sheappearedtothinkaboutsomething.Inthatcase

Yukinoshitacasthereyesatthenextstoreinline.

Westoppedinfrontofthelingerieshopdiagonallyfacingtheclothingstore.
Yukinoshitadisappearedintoakitchenutensilstorerightnextdoor,leavingme
strandedonmyown.Icouldntbetheonlyonewhofeltthat,morethanthefact
itwasalingerieshopthatemphasisedcutenessandoutrightsexiness,themere
presenceofanunderwearstoresurroundedbythelikesofYokadomadeitfeel
waymorepervertedthanitwassupposedto1.Also,theysoldschoolswimsuits
thistimearoundJune,whichfeltevenmoreperverted,inmyopinion.

ButIdigress.

Besidesbasiccookwarelikefryingpansandpots,therewereovenglovesthat
lookedliketheMuppetsandtablewaresetsthatresembledMatryoshkadolls
linesupinthekitchenutensilstore.

IseeIsaid.ThatreallyisYuigahamasweakpoint.

Yuigahamawasbadatcooking.No,morelikeshewasabysmalatit.Ideatenthat
chickshomemadecookiesonce,buttheyweresobadIwonderedifIwaseating
thecharcoaltheysoldatKeiyoHomeCenter.OrmaybeJoyfulHonda2.Inany
case,whatyousawwaswhatyougotthestrongflavourdidnotbetray
expectations.WhenIsayflavour,Ireallymeanburningsensation.Andnotonly
didIeatthem,Yukinoshitadidtoo.Yukinoshitassteadfastguidancehadbrought
themuptothelevelofmediocrity,butIdoubtedanycookingmorecomplicated
thanthatwouldgetpasttheproductionphase.

Thatsaid,thiswasquiteafunroomtobein.

Likewhoa,whatwaswiththissaucepanlid?Iwasleftspellboundoverhowit
wouldputintheseasoningforyouwhenyoutookawaythehandlepart.Ohman,
Iwasgawkinglikeanidiot.

1
ThebiggestgeneralretailerinJapan.
2
KeiyoCo,Ltd.andJoyfulHondaareretailchainstoresthatsellhouseholdnecessities.

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JustwhenIthoughttherewereonlyhandygoodslikethat,Ialsonoticedthey
evenhadtraditionalstylewoks.Crap,thiswasmakingmewanttoswingaround
andlaughgiddilyorsomething.

Onthesubjectofplaceslikehomecenters,100yenstoreswerelikethisaswell,
whatwithhowjustlookingatallthecoolgadgetsandtoolswouldgetyourblood
pumping.

Hikigayakun,thisway.Iheardmynamebeingcalled.

WhenIcameover,IwasgreetedwiththesightofYukinoshitaYukinoinanapron.

Thematerialwasthin,contrarytoitsdarkhue,andwhenYukinoshitaworeit,it
gaveoffacoolandrefinedair.Acatspawprintwasstitchedontothechest.The
cordaroundYukinoshitaswaistwastiedintoaribbon,emphasisingherthin
waistline.

Asherheadandhipswereturned,Yukinoshitatestedhoweasyitwastomoveby
abruptlyperformingatwirlinfrontofme,muchlikeawaltz.Thatcausedthecord
tocomeundoneandswishlikeatail.Howdoesitlook?

Youreaskingme,huhlooksprettydamngoodonyou,Ihavetosay.

Therewasntmuchelsetosay.TheneatandtrimsortofiteminYukinoshitas
handsuitedherwaytoomuch,perhapsbecauseherhairwasblacktoo.Idjust
complimentedherstraight,butYukinoshitafiddledwithhercollarandcordand
sleeves,focusingonheroutfitwithoutlookingatmeatall.Atthatmoment,the
onlyonesprivytoYukinoshitasexpressionwerethemirrorandYukinoshita
herself.

why,thankyou.However,Imnotaskingaboutme.Imeanthowdoesitlook
onYuigahamasan?

ThatwouldntsuitYuigahama.Somefluffy,colourful,dumblookingthingwould
makeherhappier.

100
 44

101
 44

Harsh,buttrue.ImatalosstoreactYukinoshitasaidasshetookoffthe
apronshehadbeenwearinguptillnowandbeganfoldingitcarefully.Inthat
case,Isupposeweshouldchoosesomethingaroundhere.

Assheclutchedthefoldedapron,hereyesfellonhernextprey.Thistime,she
checkedthenumberofpocketsandthematerialitwasmadeoutof.Yep,itwas
necessarytocheckthequalityofthematerial.ThewayIsawit,asbestosor
inflammablematerialorsomethingwouldbepreferable.Yuigahamawould
probablybeindangereverytimesheusedfire.

Intheend,Yukinoshitapickedoutapetite,ornamentalapronthatwaslightpink
allover.Illgowiththis.

Therewasonesmallpocketonbothsides,plusabigsquareshapedpocketinthe
middle.ItseemedtosuitYuigahama,whowasthetypetoshoveasmuchcandy
asshelikedinherpockets.

Yukinoshitafoldedupthepinkapronandmadeherwaytothecounter.Inher
hand,sheheldthepinkapronandtheblackonetoo.

Youknow,Iwasfinewiththatstuffedtoyfrombefore,butyourereallysneaking
inyourownshoppinghere.

IllhaveyouknowIhadnoplanstobuyanapron.

Animpulsepurchase,huh?Well,thatoftenhappenswhenyougooutshopping.

Yukinoshitaopenedhermouthtosaysomethinginretort,butstoppedhalfway.
Sheglancedatmesidewaysbeforewhippinghergazeawayandheadingforthe
counteralone,notoncelookingbehindher.

Soitwasntanimpulsepurchase?Whataninscrutablewoman.Butiftherewas
onethingIdidknowabouther,itwasthatshehadplannedtobuythatweird
pandatoyfromthestart.

102
 45

45

Iboughtgoodsatthepetshopandsettledthebill.Yukinoshitawasnolongerby
myside.

Itwasntlikeshehadleftmeandhurriedbackhomeorsomething.Shewasnt
thatheartless.Shedjustreadilyacceptedmysuggestiontodosomethingelse
whileIwentshopping.Okay,somaybeshewasheartless.

IconsideredcallingYukinoshita,butshecouldonlygosofarinaplacelikethis.
Leavingthepetgoodscornerbehindme,Iheadedforthecages.

Andwhatdoyouknow?Yukinoshitawasrightthere.

Shesathuggingherkneesrightneartheentrance,agentlesmileonherfaceas
shedrewoutakittenandpettedit,occasionallyrufflingitsfur.Shedidntseemto
bemeowingthistimearound,probablybecausetherewerepeoplearound,as
youdexpect.

Sinceshewassoutterlyintentonpettingthecat,itwashardtocallouttoher.
JustasIwasdeliberatingonwhattodo,thecatYukinoshitawaspettingturnedits
attentionmyway,itstwitchingearsbeingitsonlydiscerniblemovement.That
wasenoughtomakeYukinoshitaturnaround.

Ohmy,thatwasquick.

(Translation:Iwantedtoplaywiththekittysomemore)

Mybad.

IhadnowayofknowingwhetherIwassayingsorryforkeepingherwaitingorfor
nottakinglongenough,butwhateverablanketapologyshouldcoverit.

WhenYukinoshitawasdonestrokingthekitten,hermouthsoundlesslyforminga
meowasherreluctantpartingexchange,shestoodup.Sowhatdidyoubuy?I
canmoreorlessimagineit,though.

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Well,itsjustwhatyourethinking.

Isee,Yukinoshitaansweredindifferently,althoughherexpressionlooked
somewhatsatisfied.Sheseemedhappyoverbeingright.Still,Iwassurprised.To
thinkyoudbuyapresentforYuigahamasan.

notreally,Iansweredalittlestifflytoherremark.Itmakessensesincewere
havingacontest.Ionlydecidedtoteamupwithyouthistime.

Neversaynever,IsupposeYukinoshitaseyeswidenedwithsurprise.Areyou
ill?

Heynow,thatwasinsulting.

Butwhatever,evenifitwasaboutraisingYuigahamasmotivation,theideaof
celebratingherbirthdaywasntsobad.Only,inordertodothat,Ineededtoclear
theairbetweenus.Ifthingsremainedtentativeastheywererightnow,thesame
thingwouldhappenalloveragain.

Ivegotstufftofinishoff,soshallwegohome?Iasked.

Isupposeso.

WhenIlookedatthetime,itwasaround2oclock.Timehadreallyflown,
surprisingly.AndhereIhadbeenplanningtogettheshoppingoverwithand
scuttlebackhomestraightaway.

Iledthewayuntilwereachedtheexit.Igotthefeelingthiswasthesecondtime
Yukinoshita,whowasgoinghomeaswell,couldntgetoutafterattemptingto
leavemebehind.Itwasmorethanenoughofthegiantlabyrinthofoldbutonly
toher.

Ontheway,therewasagamecorneraimedatfamiliesandcouples.

Medalgames,cranegames,coopshootinggames,racinggamesthattookplace
insidevehiclesthathidyourfacefromtheoutsideworldandnottomentionthe
photobooths.Itwastheessentialkitforanyonetohaveagiggleandagoodtime
with.Inotherwords,nothingtodowithme.

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JustasIwasbrisklywadingmywaythroughallofthis,Yukinoshitastoppedinher
tracks.

Whatsup?Iasked.Soyouwanttoplayagamenow?

Ihavenointerestingames.

Saidthegirlwhoseeyeswerefixedonthecranegame.Ohwait,nowthatIlooked
closely,thatwasntwhatshewasfocusingon.WhenIfollowedYukinoshitas
gaze,itseemedshewasonlystaringatoneparticularcranegame.

Insidethatmachine,therewasacertainstuffedtoyIrecognisedbysight.

Broodingeyesthatseemedtopeerintothedarknessofthisworld,clawsthat
couldcutthroughbeastandbambooalike,sharpfangsthatgleamedeerilyinthe
dark.

Naturally,itwasPansanthepanda.Ifyousawhowmuchofanimpacthemade,
youdunderstandwhyIattachedsantohisname.

youwannagiveitashot?

Spareme.Idontparticularlywanttoplaygames.

(Translation:Imjusthereforthestuffedtoy.)

IdidnthavetoeatanyweirdjellytotranslatewhatYukinoshitahadleftunsaid
andtoresumetheconversation1.

Well,yououghttoplayifyouwantit.ThoughIdontreckonyoudgetit.

Mymy,quitetheconfrontationalstatement,hm?Areyoulookingdownonme
byanychance?Imusthavestruckanerve,becauseachillywavestartedto
exudefromYukinoshita.

1
AreferencetoDoraemonsTranslationJelly,oneofDoraemonsmorefamousgadgetsfromthefuture.

105
 45

Nah,Iwasntsayingthisorthataboutyourarms,justitshardifyourenotused
toitthatkindofthing.Imean,Komachididitoverandoveragainandshedidnt
getthethingshewantedonce.

Thesightofsomeonepersistinginpouringalmostallthecoinsintheirpiggybank
intoamachinecouldonlybedescribedaspitiable.

ButfarfromsinkingYukinoshitascompetitiveattitude,Komachisexample
causedYukinoshitatosinkathousandyennoteintothemoneyexchanging
machine.

Inthatcase,Ionlyneedtogetusedtoit,shesaidasthehundredyencoins
piledupbesidetheinsertslot,readytobespentinonebiggo.

Sheinsertedahundredyencoin.Thatcausedthemachinetomakeareallyidiotic
fueee!noise.Asiftryingtoascertainsomething,Yukinoshitastaredfixatedlyat
themachine,unmoving.

Nowordswerespoken.

Herexpressionwasindeadlyearnest,matchedonlybyherforceofwill.

Thischickcoulditbe?

Shehadnoideahowtooperatethemachine?

Therightbuttonmovesitleftandright,andtheleftbuttonisforwardsandback.
Itonlymoveswhileyoureholdingthebutton.Assoonasyoureleaseyourfinger
itstops.

IIseethankyou.

Blushingbrightred,Yukinoshitastartedthegame.First,shemadethecraneshift
totherighthm,well,notbadgoing.Then,shemoveditinwards.Hmm,thatwas
aquiteagoodposition,inmyopinion.

Then,withafueee!,thecranegrabbedholdofthestuffedtoy.Wwhatwas
withthiscrane?Itmadesuchacutecry

106
 45

Igotit.

Iheardanextremelysoftvoice.WhenIwhippedmygazeovertoYukinoshita,her
handswereclenchedtightlyandshewastremblingweakly.

ButCranechanletoutanotherfueee!andletthestuffedtoyslipandfall,
beforereturningtoitsfixedpositionwithoututteringsomuchasapeep.

Afailure.

Hey,itwashardforusatfirst,youknow?Isaid,tryingtocomforther.

YukinoshitawasglaringatCranechanwitheveryfibreofherbeing.

excuseme,didntyoupickitupperfectlyjustnow?HowcanIgetyoutodrop
thetoyoverthere?YukinoshitapressedCranechanforananswerthewayshe
normallydidwithme.ShewasbeingsointenseIjuststoodbythesidelinesand
watched.Meep.

Wwell,seehere.Youputitinthepositionwhereitsabiteasiertogetnow.
Seemsthetrickistomoveitlittlebylittle.

Atleast,thatwastheadvicewrittenonthedisplay.

Iseewhatyoulackinbruteforceyoumakeupforinnumbers.Herface
dawningwithcomprehension,sheinsertedanotherhundredyencoin.

Fueee

bah,notagain.

Fueeeeeee,fueeeeeee.

Oh,goodgrief

Fueee

Tch!

107
 45

ItwasYukinoshitasreactionjustfromhearingthevoice.AllIcouldhearafterthat
wasthesoundofYukinoshitaabusingthemachine.

YoucouldsayYukinoshitasexpressionwascalmandcollected,butherhandwas
punchingcoinsintothemachinefuriously.Soshewasstillatit,huh

Nomatterhowmuchshekeptatit,hereffortsseemedfutile.

youreallysuck.

Hmphifyourecriticisingme,doesthatmeanyouhavetheskills?Yukinoshita
saidasshescowledatme.

Myanswerwasbrimmingwithconfidence.Yep,Komachiusedtopestermeinto
doingitallthetime.Thankstoher,Ivegottenprettydamngoodatit.Whenever
Komachibegsmeintodoingstuff

Iseehowitis

Really,justwhendidIstarthandlingeverythingatKomachisbeckandcall?My
prideanddignityasanolderbrotherwasreducedtozero.

Illgiveitashot.Icanobtainitforyounosweat,Isaid,towhichYukinoshita
reluctantlyclearedthewayforme,hereyesbrimmingwithdeepsuspicion.Now
then,Illshowyoumydirtytricks.

Then,eversoslowly,Iraisedmyhandsashighastheycouldgo.Iheldthem
straightlikeninepins.

Yukinoshitalookedatmyhands,eyesfullofexpectationthatsomethingwas
goingtostart.

Notyetnotyetthemostimportantthingwasthetiming.

ThenIcaughtsightofasuddenmovementoutofthecornerofmyeye.

Now!

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 46

46

Er,uh,excuseme.Ireallywantthis

Yes,thisPansanthepanda,yousay?Illgettoitrightway.

FueeeCranechancried,assomethingdroppedwithaplop.

Okay,hereyougo,saidthearcadecornerladywithacordialsmileasshe
handedmePansan.

Itwastheoftusedgetsomethinginexchangeserviceofrecenttimes.

Oh,thanks,Iutteredmygratitude.

Theladyreturnedthefavourwithamagnanimoussmilethatcoveredeveryinch
ofherface,beforegoingbackwhereshecamefrom.

Meanwhile,Yukinoshitawasrightnexttome,lookingatmewithasourer
expressionthanusual.

Wwhat?

NothingIwasmerelywonderingifitwasembarrassingforyoutolive.

Lookhere,Yukinoshita.Lifeisourgreatestgift.Isntitmoreembarrassingto
thinkthatsembarrassing?Thatswhythoseassholeswholookatmeandlaugh
Ewww!Howembarrassing!aretheoneswhohavenovalueinliving.

YoutaintedyourgoodlineswithunnecessaryhatredYukinoshitasighed
terselyassheflickedaloosestrandofhairindisgust.MygoodnessjustasI
thoughtyouweretakingthingsseriouslyforonce,yougoandpullthat

IdidntsayIdplayitforyou.IonlysaidIdobtainitforyou.Here,takeit.

IshovedPansanintoYukinoshitashands.ButYukinoshitapusheditbackatme.
Youretheonewhoobtainedit.EvenifyoudidusemeansIrefuseto
acknowledge,Ioughttoacknowledgeyourachievement.

109
 46

Yukinoshitaproceededtogothroughalltheformalities,eventhoughthewhole
thingwassoultimatelytrivial.Youcouldsayshewasserious,ormaybestubborn.
Actually,no,shejusthadastickupherarse.

ButIwasntthekindofpersonwhowouldbedefeatedbysomeonesobstinacy.
Nah,Idontneedit,yousee.Andplus,youusedyourownmoney.Yourethe
onewhopaidcompensation.Whichmeansyouvegottheobligationtotakeit,I
said.

Atthat,Yukinoshitasresistanceweakenedandthestuffedtoyfellsnuglyintoher
arms.

IIsee.Yukinoshitasgazefelltothestuffedtoysheclutchedinherownarms.
Then,shepeeredatmesideways.Silence.Iwontgiveitbacktoyou,youknow.

IsaidIdontneedit.

Likeanyonewouldwantsuchanevillookingtoy.Besides,Iwouldntaskforit
backwhenshewasholdingitlikeitwassoimportanttoher.

Soshehadhercutesidetoo.AndhereIthoughtshewasmorecoldblooded.

Atthatpoint,IrealisedIwaslookingatherwithasmileonmyface.Slightly
embarrassedly,Yukinoshitaturnedherfaceaway,hercheekssomewhatred.

itdoesntsuityou.ThatsortofthingfitsYuigahamasanorTotsukakuns
imagemore.

TheformerIcantakeitorleaveit,butIcanagreewithyouonthelatter.

ThebestmatchforTotsukawithastuffedtoywouldbebreadrollsandmilk.

Anyway,Imhonestlysurprisedyoureafanofstuffedtoys,Iblurtedout,but
Yukinoshitawasntparticularlyfussed.ShejuststrokedPansanleisurely.

Ihavenorealinterestinothertoys,butIdolikethisPansanthePanda.

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 46

Yukinoshitakeptonfiddlingwiththetoysarms.Eachtimeshedidthat,Pansans
clawsmadeasinisterscratchingnoise.IfIpaidnoheedtothesound,itseemed
exceedinglycuteasacomposition.

AlthoughIvebeencollectingsofttoysandgoodsforalongtime,Icouldonlyget
themthroughprizesratherthanthroughordinarychannels,soIvebeenataloss.
Iconsiderednetauctions,butIcouldntquitemakeupmymindsinceIworry
abouthowtheitemsbeingdisplayedatauctionsarebeingpreservedorwhether
thephotosthatarepostedaremanufactured...

Hherreasonswerentcuteatall

Inadvertently,Isighed.Aanyway,youreallydolikethatPansan.Havingbeen
exposedtoherpointlessanimalmania,mywordsshotoutofmymouth
unheeded.

Unbeknownsttoherself,Yukinoshitahadafarawaylookinhereyesafterhearing
whatIsaid.

indeed.IreceivedonewhenIwasyoung.

Astuffedtoy?

No,theoriginalmanuscriptofthestory.

Huh?Um,whatdoyoumeanbystory?Iasked,takenaback.

Butthisturnedouttobeamistake.

Thenextmoment,Yukinoshitastartedtalkingonandon,asifshehadfallenintoa
trance.PansanthePanda.TheoriginaltitlewasHello,MisterPanda.Beforethey
changedthetitleitwasPandasGarden.ItssaidthattheAmericanbiologistRand
McIntoshstartedwritingitforhisson,whowasntquiteabletoadapttohisnew
environmentwhenthewholefamilycrossedChinaforMcIntoshsresearchon
pandas1.

1
AsfarasIcansee,thenamesaremadeup,butitssimilartothestorybehindthecreationofWinnie
thePooh.

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therewego,itsYukipediaalloveragain.

AlthoughIwaskindofhalfmakingfunofher,Yukinoshitawentontalking
completelyblithely.

AlthoughthechibifiedDizneyeditionemphasisesthecharactersmore,the
originalstorywasexcellent.Itexcelledatcombiningwesternandeastern
metaphorandtellingasinglefocusednarrative.Onecanfeeltheoverriding
messageofloveforhissonateverylevel.

Huh,wasitthatkindofstory?Ithoughtforsureitwasonlyastoryabouta
pandathatsaid,Iwanttoeatbamboograssallday,andthenwhenhedideat
bamboograss,hegotdrunkonitanddiddrunkenboxing.

indeed,thatsceneisemphasisedintheDizneyversion,soIcannotsay
anythingtoyouthere,butthatpartplayedaminorroleintheoriginalstory.
Youllseeifyoureaditforyourself.Thetranslationisalsoquitesuperb,butI
reallydorecommendyoureadtheoriginalmanuscript,Yukinoshitagushed
openly.

Ahh,Icouldrememberdoingsomethinglikethis.Yougetlikethatwhenyoutalk
aboutsomethingyoulike.BackwhenIwasinmiddleschool,Iwentonandonfor
thirtyminutesaboutamangaIlikedtotheseguysIthoughtIgotalongwith.
Aroundthattimetheysaidtome,Youdontusuallytalkmuch,Hikigaya,butthe
onlytimeyoudontshutupiswhenitsaboutmanga.Thatskindayouknow,
andIwantedtodieontheinside.

Still,beingabletotalkaboutwhatyoulikeasmuchasyoulikewasagoodthing,
inmyopinion.Evenif,say,itwasntsomethingmainstreamorthegeneralpublic
wouldntacceptit.

Itwasagoodthing,notthinkingaboutwhetherotherswouldacceptwhatyou
likeorwhetheryoucouldgetalongwithpeoplewhodidntreallylikeyou.

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But,havingsaidthat,Iwasinabindifshewasaskingmetoreadtheoriginal
manuscript.IdonlyskimthroughtheIndex2.

Ijusthadathought.YouwereabletoreadEnglishsinceyouwerelittle,huh.

Notintheleast.ButitwasbecauseIcouldntreadEnglishthatIconstantly
referredtothedictionaryasIreadit.Itwasentertaininglikesolvingapuzzle.
Yukinoshitaseyesweregentle,asifshewasreminiscingfondlyoverherdistant
past.Thenafteramomentshemurmured,inavoiceaslowasawhisper,Itwasa
birthdaypresent.Imighthavesentimentalattachmenttoitbecauseofthat.

Shehesitated.

Ththatswhy,umYukinoshitaburiedherheadagainstthetoyembarrassedly,
hidingherexpressionashergazeturnedonme.Thatswhywhenyougavethis
tome

Huuuuh?Yukinochan?Oh,itreallyisyou,Yukinochan!Ablithelycheerful
voicecutYukinoshitaoffmidsentence.

WhenIcaughtsightoftheownerofthatsomehowfamiliar,recognisablevoice,I
wasspeechless.

Glossyblackhairandsmooth,translucentwhiteskinnottomentionthe
composedandelegantfacialfeatures.Withherrare,ravishinggoodlooksthat
oozedwithgirlishness,heramiablesmilewastheicingontopofanalready
extravagantcake.

Rightbeforemyeyesstoodabeautyofunbelievableproportions.Shehad
probablybeenhangingoutwithherfriends,becausesheclappedherhandsin
apologyandsaid,Sorry,Illcatchuptoyouguys,tothenumerousmenand
womenhustlingandbustlingbehindher.

Asenseofdjvuassailedme.ButmorethanthatmorethananythingIwas
tormentedbythefeelingofdistinctunease.

2
AreferencetothelightnovelToaruMajutsunoIndex.

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47

Neesan

IswungarounduponhearingYukinoshitasvoice.Herdefenselessexpression
frombeforewasgonenow,replacedbyalookofhorror.Shesqueezedher
stuffedtoytightlyagainstherchest,hershouldersstiffening.

Huh?Thatsyoursister?What?MyeyesflittedbetweenYukinoshitaandthe
womaninfrontofme,comparingthetwo.

IfIcouldputanumberonthewomansage,Idsayshewasaroundtwenty.Her
softclothes,whichhadflutteringlaceattachedtotheends,werebasedarounda
whitetheme,andherarmsandlegsemphasisedthebeautyofherskin.Shewas
blindingtolookat,butweirdly,herentirebodygaveoffalookofrefinement.

ShereallydidresembleYukinoshita.IfYukinoshitawasasolidbeauty,thewoman
beforemewasaliquidone,overflowingwithcharm.

Whatareyoudoinghere?Oooooh!Adate,right?!Ithastobeadate!Teehee!

TheolderYukinoshitateasedtheyoungerYukinoshita,nudgingherincessantly
withherelbow.ButYukinoshitakeptastonyfaceandmerelyseemedirritated.

Iseenow.Theylookedalike,buttheirpersonalitiesseemedworldsapart.

WhenIgotmybearingsandlookedreallyclosely,therewereanumberof
differencesbetweenthem.

ExhibitA)breasts.UnlikethemodestYukinoshita,thesisterhadamightyfine
pair.Herwellshapedbreasts,matchedwithaslenderbody,wereasightforsore
eyes.

Howenlightening!WhenIwasfeelingoutofplace,thetruecauseofthatwasthe
sizeofherbreasts!Er,no,thatwasnttheonlything.

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Heyhey,Yukinochan,isthatyourboyfriend?Areyougoingoutwithhim?

absolutelynot.Wereschoolmates.

Nownow!Noneedtobeshy!

Yukinoshitasaidnothing.

Whoa,iflookscouldkilleventhoughanyonewouldpisstheirpantsinfearif
theywereonthereceivingendofYukinoshitasglare,hersistergrinnedandtook
itinstride.

ImYukinochanssisterHaruno,shesaidtome.PlaynicewithYukinochan,
okay?

Uhh.ImHikigaya.SheintroducedherselfbynamesoIintroducedmyselfback.

So,somehowitlookedlikethesistersnamewasYukinoshitaHaruno.Right,got
it.

HikigayaHarunosanpausedonlyamomenttothink,quicklysizingmeup
fromheadtotoe.Isee

Inthatinstant,achillwentdownmyspine,enoughtomakemeshiver.Asif
struckbytemporaryparalysis,Iwasrootedtothespot.

Butthenshesang,IllcallyouHikigayakun,then.Great,nicetomeetyou.

Harunosandefusedthetensionwithabroadgrin.Whatwasthatjustnow?
Wasit,youknow,becauseIwasnervousbeinglookedatbyabeautifulwoman?

Harunosanwasasbrightandsunnyashernamesuggested1.Shemightphysically
resembleYukinoshita,buttheimpressionshegaveoffwascompletelydifferent.
UnlikeYukinoshitaandheroverpoweringcoolgirlimage,thesistersexpressions
wereforeverchanging.Whoknewthatsmileshadsomanydifferentvariations?

1
(1)ThespellingforHarunoincludesthecharacterforsun.

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Althoughtheirpartswerethesame,Iwasstruckbyhowdifferentlytheyused
them.

Iunderstoodnowwhytheyweresodifferent,andyetstillsomekindof
unsatisfiedfeelingofbeingoutofplacerolleddownmyspineonceagain.The
truecauseofmydiscomfortwasprobablynotintheirdifferences.

WhenIturnedmysuspiciousgazeonHarunosan,shemetmyeyesonlyfleetingly
beforeinstantlyshiftingherattentiontoYukinoshita.Oh,hey.IsntthatPansan
thepanda?shesaidinasprightlytoneasshereachedoutforstuffedtoy.Ilike
this!Hownice,itssosoft.Imjealous,Yukinochan.

Donttouchit.

Yukinoshitasvoicewassostrongitmadeyourearsring.Itwasntlikesheraised
hervoiceoranything.Itwasjustthatherrefusalrangoutsoloudandclearithurt
tolisten.

Harunosanmusthavefeltthesameway,becauseherunchangingsmilefrom
beforefrozeonherface.Shesaidnothingforamoment.

Whwhoa,thatgavemeafright,shesaidfinally.Ssorry,Yukinochan,IIgetit
now.Iwasabitthicknottorealiseitwasapresentfromyourboyfriend.

Um,Imnotherboyfriend,Isaid.

Teehee,youreplayingcoy.BigsiswontforgiveyouifyoumakeYukinochan
cry.

Withahmph!Harunosanliftedherindexfingertorebukeme,beforepoking
mycheekincessantlyuntilithurt.Argh,ouch,watchit,dontgetsoclose!(She
smellednice.)

Withhercommunicationpowers,shecouldwieldpowerovermeeventhoughwe
werestrangers.Harunosan,whowaspressingagainstmefromthisclose
position,wastheownerofaterrifyingpower.

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Neesan,thatsenough.Ifyouhavenothingtodohere,thenwelljustgetgoing
now,Yukinoshitasaid,butHarunosanpaidhernoheedandwentonpestering
me.

Goon,youcantellme!Howlonghaveyoutwobeendating?

Wai!Seriously,pleasestopit!

Shewentonwithherfingerpokingattackstubbornly,andbeforeIknewit,
Harunosanwaspressedupagainstme.Andwait,herknockerswerehittingme!
Oh,sheletgo!Nowait,shehitmeagain!TheboobsIdbeencheckingoutbefore
werecomingatmewithrapidjabs!Crap,thesetitswereMohammedAli

Neesan,cutthatoutthisinstant.

Itwasalowvoice,onethatthreatenedtoshaketheearth.AsYukinoshitaflicked
herhair,notbotheringtoconcealherfury,hereyespiercedHarunosanwitha
disdainfulglare.

Ohsorry,Yukinochan.Imightvegottenabitcarriedaway,Harunosansaid
unapologetically,laughingweakly.Itlookedlikeablockheadoldersisteranda
highlystrungyoungersistersortofarrangement.ThenHarunosanstarted
whisperinginmyear.(LikeIsaid,notsoclose!)Sorry,yaknow?Yukinochansa
sensitivegirlsoyoudbetterwatchoutforher,Hikigayakun.

Thistime,Iwasassailedbyadefinitefeelingofunease.Istartedinvoluntarily.As
iftakenabackbymyreaction,Harunosantiltedherheadtotherightandclosed
hereyeswithawhimper.Inthatinstant,theonlythingaguystandingnearby
couldthinkofwashowcutehermannerismswere.

DidIdosomethingtomakeyouhateme?IfIdid,sorry,Harunosanapologised,
pokingoutherpinktongue.

WhenIsawhowguilelessshewas,thedesiretoprotectherroseupinmeandI
wassuddenlyattackedwithguilt.Ihadtocomeupwithsomekindofapology!

Er,thatsnotreallyit.Imean,um,myearsareticklish.

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Hikigayakun,stopexposingyourfetishestoawomanyouvejustmet.Youcant
complainifyougetsued.Yukinoshitashandwaspressedgingerlyagainsther
foreheadasifallthiswasgivingheraheadache.

AsforHarunosan,herpatentgrinningsmilewasreturningtoherface.Aha,she
sang.Yourehilarious,Hikigayakun!

Ihadnoideawhatwassofunny,butHarunosanwaslaughinguproariouslyasshe
thumpedmyback.(LikeIsaid,notsoclose!)

Oh,thatremindsme.Hikigayakun.Wannagooutforteawithmeifyourefree?
IhavetomakesureyouregoodenoughtobeYukinochansboyfriend.Haruno
santhrewoutherchestandwinkedlightlyinmydirection.

howpresumptuous.Isaidhewasmerelymyschoolmate.Aharshandsevere
voicelikeaNorthPoleblizzardcutin.Itwasthesoundofadeeplyfeltreaction,
onethatwascausedbyHarunosansjokingtoneandeverythingelseabouther.
Yukinoshitahadunleashedtheultimaterejection.

ButHarunosanbrusheditasidethistimewithacheekysmile.Imean,itsthe
firsttimeIveseenyougooutwithsomeone,Yukinochan.IsntitnaturalIdthink
hewasyourboyfriend?Iwashappyforyou.Harunosanletoutastrangelaugh
thatsoundedlikeasnicker.Youreateenager,soyoumayaswellhavefun!Oh,
butyoubetternotbescrewing,yknow?

Jokingly,Harunosanputherlefthandonherhipandleanedover,herrightindex
fingerheldupinwarning.Assheheldthatposture,sheputherheadcloseto
Yukinoshitasearsandwhisperedsomethingsoftly.

Afterall,Mothersstillmadoveryoulivingalone.

TheinstantthewordMothercameout,Yukinoshitasentirebodystiffened.

Asubduedsilencedescendedoverthearea.Asifbysomeillusion,thesoundhad
grownquieterlikeanebbingtideeveninthegamecorner,aplacethatshould
havebeenfullofruckus.

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Inthespanofthatmoment,Yukinoshitahuggedherstuffedtoyasiftomakesure
itwasthere.

itreallyhasnothingtodowithyou,Neesan,Yukinoshitautteredasifshewas
talkingtotheground,notlookinghersisterintheeyes.

ThiswastheYukinoshitaYukinowhoneverwaveredandstoodtallthe
Yukinoshitawhowasnevercowedbyanyoneorlookedattheground.

Itwasascenethatshookmemildly.Shewasthekindofpersonwhowouldallow
herselftofeeldownwhenshewasalone,butIdneverseenherkneesshake
whenshetalkedtoanotherperson.

Harunosanchuckledoutofthecornerofhermouth.Yeah,youreright.Ithas
nothingtodowithme,shesaid,pullingbackabruptlyasifjumpingaway.As
longasyouveputthoughtintoit,itsfine,Yukinochan.Iwastryingtohelp,butI
wasbuttingin.Sorryaboutthat.

Asasheepishsmilecameoverherface,Harunosanlaughedandturnedtome.

Hikigayakun.Illsaythistoyouagain:letsgooutforteawhenyoubecome
Yukinochansboyfriend.Okay,seeyoulater!

Eventually,ablindinglybrilliantsmilecameoverHarunosfaceandshedidalittle
waveinfrontofherchesttosaybyebye.Andwiththat,sheskippedoffintothe
distance.

Struckbyhowoverwhelmingherradiancewas,Icouldntturnmyeyesaway.In
theend,Iwatchedheruntilshewascompletelyoutofsight.

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48

Andthen,outoflackofanythingbettertodo,YukinoshitaandIstartedwalking.

YoursistersreallysomethingIblurtedoutwithoutthinking.

Yukinoshitanodded.Everyonesaysthatwhentheymeether.

Yeah,Icouldseethat.

Mm.Anattractivefaceandfigure,atopstudent,accomplishedinbothliterary
andmartialarts,awomanofmanytalentsnottomentionakindandgentle
personalityIdoubtanyhumanbeingcouldmatchherperfection.Everyone
showersherwithpraise

Huh?Thatdoesntlessenyourownachievements,Isaid.Whatswiththefaux
modesty?

Yukinoshitalookedupatme,stunned.

huh?

WhenIsaidshewassomething,Iwastalkingabouthowdoyousayit?That
reinforcedexoskeletonofafaade.

Areinforcedexoskeletonno,youcouldcallitamobilesuit.Anyway,thefeeling
ofuneaseIsensedfromYukinoshitaHarunowasthat.Anotherfittingexpression
wasthatshewascakedinherfaade.

Fromthewaysheacts,yoursisterslikeanerdswetdream.Shecanbrightenup
themoodwhenshetalks,shesgotgoodmanners,shesalwaysgotabigsmile,
shecaneventalktomelikeanormalperson,andalso,umyoucouldsayshes
waytootouchyfeely,andthatsheskindasofttotouch.

Iwonderifthisyoungmanisawareofhowmuchofalowlifehesounds

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Ddontbeanidiot!ItsherhandImtalkingabout,youknow.Herhand!The
touchofherhand!

MyexcusedidlittletoeaseYukinoshitasscornfulgaze.Inanattempttodivert
herattention,Iwentonspeakinginalouderandfirmertone.

Idealsareideals.Theyrenotreality.Thatswhysomethingaboutherseems
phony.

Afterall,therewasprobablynosuchthingaslonelynerdswhowererealists.

Alonelynerdlivedwiththreegeneralprinciples:(Haveno)hope,(makeno)love
opportunities,(utterno)sweetnothings.Theseprincipleswerecarvedintotheir
hearts.Theseperfectsoldiers,whocontinuedtofightdayandnightagainstthe
ultimateenemyknownasreality,werethuseasilyswindled.

Thoughtheremaybegoodgirlsinthisworld,girlswholiveforyouarenon
existent.

HikigayaHachiman

Ithoughtitsoundedlikeawisesaying,soIcarvedthosewisewordsintomy
heart.

Yukinoshitalookedatmewithastraightface.Afteramomentofthought,she
said,Youhaverotteneyesno,itsbecauseyouhaverotteneyesthatthereare
somethingsyoucanseethrough

Areyoupraisingme?

Iam.Thatwashighpraise.

Somehow,Ididntgetthatimpression

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Yukinoshitaseemedrathermysteriousasshefoldedherarms,asomewhat
farawaylookinhereyes.Asyousaid,thatismysistersfaade.Doyouknow
aboutmyfamily?Astheeldestborndaughter,mysisterwastakenaroundto
workrelatedNewYearscourtesycallsandparties.Asaresultofthat,shehasa
maskyoureveryobservant.

Ah,thatswhatmyoldmantaughtme.ThatIshouldwatchoutforpeoplelike
theladieswhosellpicturesatshadylookingartgalleries.Imonmyguardagainst
peoplewhorandomlyinvadeyourpersonalspacethefirsttimetheyretalkingto
you.Alongtimeago,thatshowmydadgotswindledanddroveupabigloan.

Apparently,mymumgotsomadathimafterthathealmostdied.

Inanycase,asaresultofthespecialeducationprogramforgiftedstudentsI
received,Ihadneverhadanyexperienceofbeingswindledinsuchawayuntil
now.IdoubtedIwouldbedeceivedanytimeinthefuture,either.

WhenItoldYukinoshitaallofthat,sheletoutashortsighandrubbedhertemple
withherhand.Goodgriefwhatanidioticreason.Mysisterwouldseriouslynot
believeshedbeencaughtoutbysuchreasoning.

Yukinoshitamighthavebeenlessthanimpressed,butitwasntlikethatwasthe
onlyreasonIthoughtthewayIdid.Whilewereatit,yourfacesmightlook
similar,butwhenyousmileyoulookcompletelydifferent.

Iknewwhatarealsmilelookedlike.Notaflirtatioussmile,norasmilefortricking
peopleorfordivertingtheirattentionareal,honesttogodsmile.

WhenIsaidthat,Yukinoshitapickedupherwalkingpace,leavingmeseveral
stepsbehind.Hmphanidioticreason.

Thenshelackedbackatmeoverhershoulderatme.Isawherusualcold,
unchangingexpression.

letsgohome,shesaidsoftly.

Inodded.

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Afterthat,withoutexchangingsomuchasasingleword,thetwoofusembarked
onourjourneyhome.

IhadnothingtoaskYukinoshita,andYukinoshitadidntactasifshehadanything
tosaytomeeither.Perhapsitwasatimewhenweshouldhaveaskedquestions
andspokentoeachother.But,insteadofsteppingoneachotherstoes,wechose
toembracethesenseofdistancethatwasalltoofamiliartousnow.Andbecause
ofthat,wespentthetimewithoutanyhumanwarmth,asfellowpeoplesitting
nexttoeachotheronthetrain.

Whenshearrivedatthestationweweregettingoffat,Yukinoshitastoodupfrom
herseataheadofme.Ifollowedsuit.

Oncewegotpasttheticketbarrier,Yukinoshitainstantlystoppedinhertracks.
Imgoingthisway,shesaid,pointingtothesouthexit.

Oh.Seeyou,Iresponded,facingthenorthexit.

Asmybackwasturnedtoher,Iheardasmallvoice.

Todaywasfun.Seeyoulater.

Myfirstimpulsewastodoubtmyownears.Ispunaroundhastily,butYukinoshita
wasalreadywalkingoff.Sheshowednosignoflookingbackatme.

Intheend,IwatchedYukinoshitauntilshewascompletelyoutofsight.

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125
 51

Chapter5:YetAloneintheWilderness,ZaimokuzaYoshiteruLaments

Monday.InFrench,youdcallitLundi.ItsspeltLUNDI.Thatsoundsweirdly
perverted,soIwouldntexactlycallitahappydayoftheweek,morelikeitjust
makesyousighandthink,NotanotherweekofschoolIwantedtotakeaday
offfromschoolaboutasmuchasIwantedtotakeadayofffromlifeitself,butit
wasntliketherewasanyonewhowouldwritenotesformeorbringmetheclass
handouts.Thatinevitablymakesyourattendancerategoup.

ConsideringthatIevenwantedtotakeadayofffromschool,whichyouhaveto
payoutofourownpockettoattend,itstandstoreasonIdtakeabunchofdays
offfromworkwithoutbeingpaid.Actually,no,Ididntwanttocausetroublefor
thosearoundmebyshirking,soIdrathermakethedecisionnottoworkfromthe
beginning.

Thatsaid,howcomethoseriajuusaystufflikeOhman,schoolissoooolame!
Haha!Ilostmytextbookoversummervacationaccidentallyonpurpose!when
theyloveschoolsomuch?Theycomeeveryday.Perhapsstayingstuffyoudidnt
actuallymeanwaspartofwhatbeingariajuuisallabout.Inotherwords,lyingis
thepathtobecomingariajuu.

Plowingmywaythroughallthedinandchatteraroundme,Iwalkedintothe
classroom,justintimeformorninghomeroom.

Thereareanumberofcoloniesestablishedinsidetheclassroom.Theresone
campmadeupofboyandgirlriajuuandasecondcampofriajuugirlswhowant
tobefriendswitheveryone.Therearealsothejockswhoareinaclubbutdont
actuallyplayinanyofthegames,theotaku,thegirlswhothinktheworldrevolves
aroundthem,andthequietgirlswhodontcauseanyfuss.Thentheresthesmall
pocketofloners.Andamongtheselonersthereareanumberoftypes,andIm
gettingcarriedaway.

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EventhoughIdjustenteredtheclassroom,everyonewascaughtupintheir
chatterandnooneparticularlynoticedme.Actually,tosaytheydidntnoticeme
iskindofthewrongwayofputtingit.Itwouldbemorecorrecttosaytheyjust
didntbother.

Weavingmywayaroundthenumberofislandssituatedintheclassroom,Imade
mywaytomyseat.Rightnextdoorwastheriajuucampandtheotakugroup.

Whenevertheywereinagroup,thoseguyswouldblowupateachatother,but
whenevertheycametoclasstooearly,theydsay,Mycomradesarenthere
yetastheyfiddlewiththeirphonesrestlesslyandflickthehairoutoftheir
eyes,allthewhilecastingsidewayglancesatthedoorinawaythatwaskindof
cutetowatch.

Sincetheirawarenessoftheirownfriendshipswasaboutwhatyoudexpectof
otaku,theydidntreallytalktopeopleoutsidetheirowncircle.Theywouldnever
minglewithanothergroupoutoftheirownaccord.Whenyouthinkaboutit,its
quiteexclusionaryanddiscriminatory.

Basically,youmightnotthinkit,butlonersaremajorphilanthropists.Notloving
anythingmeansyouloveeverythingequally.Crap,itsonlyamatteroftime
beforetheystartcallingmeMotherHikigaya.

ThefirstthingIdidafterIsatdownatmyseatwaszoneout.Gazingvaguelyatmy
hand,therewasnoescapingpointlessthoughtslikeOhyeah,mynailsare
gettinglongerorHey,Imonestepclosertodyingfrompilinguponeafter
another.IhadutterconfidenceinthefactIwaswastingmytime.

Whatapointlessskill

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52

ClassendedatsomepointwhileIwasmobilisingmyinnumerablepointlessskills,
andnowschoolwasoverfortheday.IbetIdpushedmyselftothelimitand
awakenedmyStandability1.

Iwastednotimepreparingtogohomeandstoodupfrommyseat.Asusual,I
didntspeakawordtothegirlsittingnexttome.ThereasontheEnglishlanguage
curriculuminJapanisntsogoodhastobebecausetheymakeyoutalkinpairsin
class.

WhenIwenttotheServiceClub,Yuigahamawasalreadythere,havingexitedthe
classroombeforeme.Havingsaidthat,itwasntlikeshewasinsideoranything
shewasstandingoutsidethedoor,breathinginandoutheavily.

whatareyoudoinghere?Iasked.

Yikes!shestarted.Oh,HHikki.Iwas,um,yknow?Smellingtherosesor
something

Yuigahamaavertedhereyesuncomfortably.

Silencereignedbetweenus.

Weduckedourheads,notmeetingeachotherseyes.Doingthatmadethe
slightlyopenclubroomdoorcomeintomylineofsight.WhenIpeeredinside,
Yukinoshitawasinherusualspotreadingabooklikeshealwaysdid.

Somehoworother,itseemedYuigahamaendeduphesitatingaboutgoinginside.

Andnotwithoutreason.Shehadntbeenthereforawholeweek.

1
AStandisasupernaturalpoweruniquetoJoJosBizarreAdventure.

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129
 52

Whetheritwasschoolorwork,ifyousuddenlytookadayoff,youwouldntknow
whatexpressiontowearthenexttimeyoushowedup.IfIskippedworkoutof
somebadimpulse,IwouldfeelsobadaboutitIwouldntwanttogoagainthats
happenedtomethreewholetimes.Wait,ifwereincludingthetimesIdidntgo
evenonce,itwouldbefivetimes,Iguess.

ThatwaswhyIunderstoodYuigahamasfeelingsalltoowell.

Cmon,letsgo.

SoIhalfdraggedherinside.Thedoorslidopenwithaloud,deliberatecreak,
attractingattention.

Asifannoyedbytheloudnoise,Yukinoshitaliftedherheadsharply.

Yuigahamasan

Hhithere,YukinonYuigahamaansweredinanunnaturallycheerytone,
raisingherhandweakly.

Inresponse,Yukinoshitasgazewentstraightbacktoherbookasifnothingwas
thematteratall.Dontdawdlearoundforeverhurryupinside.Clubactivities
arestarting.

Thegirlinquestionwaslookingdown,probablyinanattempttohideherface.
Butevenfromadistance,youcouldtellhercheekswereblushingbrightred.Also,
fromthewayshespoke,Ihadtowonderifshewasamotherscoldingherkids
aftertheydrunawayfromhomeorsomething

OokayYuigahamarepliedasshepulledupherusualseatnextto
Yukinoshitas.Butwhenshepulledouttheseat,thedistancebetweenthemgrew,
andtherewasnowenoughspacetofitonemorepersonbetweenthem.

Asforme,Itookupmyusualpositionatthecornerdirectlyoppositefrom
Yukinoshita.

Yuigahama,whowouldnormallyhavebeenplayingwithhercellphone,tooka
seatsomewhathesitantly,bothherhandsballingintofistsontopofherknees.

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YukinoshitaattemptednottoactconsciousaboutYuigahamaspresence,butshe
wentoverboardandwasinsteadsooverlyconsciousthatshemadenotthe
slightestmovesinceYuigahamasatdown.

Itwasnotthecomfortable,leisurelysortofsilence,butasilencerackedwith
tension.Thesoundofitelicitedsuchahorriblefeelingitwouldmakeyourskin
crawl.Evenaslightcoughwouldreverberatearoundtheroom,andallthewhile
thehandsontheclockwentontickingaway,etchingouteachsecondslowlyand
deliberately.

Nobodyopenedtheirmouth.Butwhenevertherewassomeindicationthat
someonewasgoingtostrikeupaconversation,ourearsstrainedtoattention,
unabletoignorethesign.Wheneversomebodysighed,wedimmediatelypeerat
themoutofthecornerofoureyes.

Thesilenceisreallydraggingon,IthoughtbutwhenIlookedatmywristwatch,
threeminuteshadntevenpassedyet.Whatthehell?WasthistheHyperbolic
TimeChamber?Eventhegravityandairpressureseemedtohavegottenheavier.

Igazedatthetickinghandsontheclock,andjustwhenIknewforcertainthat
theyhaddoneawholecycle,afeeblevoicerangout.

Yuigahamasan.

Yukinoshitaclosedthebookshehadbeenreadingupuntilthenwithasnapand,
onceshehadfinishedinhalingsodeeplyhershouldersshook,sheexhaledslowly.

WhensheturnedaroundshylytofaceYuigahama,hermouthopenedasifshe
hadsomethingtosay.Butnosoundcameout.Yuigahamahadturnedherwhole
bodytofaceYukinoshita,butshelookeddownatthefloor,theireyesfailingto
meet.

Er,uhYYukinon,youhadsomethingtosayaboutyouandHikki,right?

Yes,Iwantedtotellyouaboutwhatweredoingafterth

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 52

Yuigahamacutin,interruptingwhatYukinoshitahadbeensaying.Nnah,if
youreworriedaboutme,dontbe.Imean,sure,Iwassurprisedand,well,kindof
shockedandstuffbutyoureallydonthavetofussovermeatall,youknow?
MorelikeitsagoodthingsoIshouldbecelebratingandwishingyouallthebest
somethinglikethat

YyoureveryperceptiveIwantedtodoaproperjobofcelebrating,yousee.
Andalsobecause,well,Imgratefultoyou.

NnowaaaayIhaventdoneanythingworthbeinggratefulovernothingat
all.

Howlikeyounottobeawareofyourownkindness.Evenso,Iamgratefuland
besides,youdontholdcelebrationsforapersonbecauseofwhattheyvedone.
ImdoingitsimplybecauseIwantto.

Ookay.

Somethingtoldmetheywerenttalkingaboutthesamething

Theywereonlyspoutingchoicephrasesateachotherandmentallyfillinginthe
blanksoutoftheirownaccord.Yuiwasdodgingtheissuewithhervaguewords
andmannerisms,whileYukinoshitaspokeinamannerthatstronglysuggested
shewashidingherembarrassment.Thelinesoftheirconversationhardly
matchedatall,anditwasonlythroughcontextthattheywerepiecingittogether.

Yukinoshita,whowasnowfinallyvoicingthefeelingsofgratitudeshewas
normallyunabletoexpress,seemedtoblushoutofawkwardness.Meanwhile,
everytimeYuigahamalookedatYukinoshitasexpression,herownfacedarkened
moreandmore,andtohidethatsheoccasionallyformedasmileinvain.Hereyes
hadnarrowedandweregettingstormierbythesecond.

ThthatswhythatisYukinoshitafellsomewhatsilentaftershehadmanaged
tosaysomething.

Ashortspanoftimepassed,duringwhichwegazedateachothersfacesmutely.
Asearchingexpressionmetangermetnervousness.

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TensecondshadntevenpassedifIcountedthetime,butitwasmorethanlong
enoughforaheavysilencetofallinbeforesomeoneopenedtheirmouthagain.
Thethreeofuslookedatthreedifferentplacesasaheavyatmospheresettledin.

Um,youseeYuigahamaopenedhermouthasifshehadmadeuphermind
aboutsomething.

Thatwaswhenithappened.Bangbang!Animpatientknockingsoundresounded
acrosstheroom.Yukinoshitaslippedherbookawayandcalledouttowardsthe
door.

Comein.

Buttherewasnoresponsefromthedoorsend.Theonlythingwecouldhearwas
thisawfulwheezing,mixedwithheavybreathing.

YukinoshitaandIexchangedglances.ThenYukinoshitanoddedcurtly.Somehow,
itlookedlikeitwasmyjobtoseewhatwasup.ForamomentthereIthought,Do
ityourselfbutIdfeelawkwardmakingagirllookupthesourceofthatghastly
breathingnoise.

EverytimeItookasteptowardsthedoor,themysteriousbreathingnoisedrew
closeraswell.Inthissilentroom,soundwaspermittedfromameretwosources:
myfootstepsandthatbreathing.

OnceIreachedthedoor,Igulped.Thethoughtofencounteringanalienbeing
onceIseparatedthesinglebitofwoodbetweenusfilledmewithdreadand
nervousness.

Iputmyhandonthedoorandopenedit,fulloffear.

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 53

53

Assoonasthedoorwasopen,alargeblackshallowfelloverme,closingthegap
betweenus.

Oho!Hachiemoooon!

Zaimokuza,huhoh,andquitcallingmebythatname.

TheowneroftheshadowwasZaimokuzaYoshiteru.Hisbodywasswathedina
blackcoateventhoughitwashalfwaythroughJune,andashepantedheavily
fromtheheat,hegraspedmyshouldersfirmly.

Hachiemon,listentome!Theyweresocrueltome!Zaimokuzawenton,paying
noheedtomywordswhatsoevertoquitcallingmebythatname.

Screwthisguy.

Hewaspissingmeoff,soIdecidedtopushhimawayfirmly.Sorry,Zaimokuza.
ThisServiceClubsforthethreeofus.Right,Gian1?

ImnotquitesurewhyyourelookingatmeYukinoshitaglaredatmewith
hostility,butIoverlookedthatfornow.

Hey,wait,Hachiman.Thisisntthetimetoscrewaround.Ifitdoesntinterest
you,Hachiemon,IlltakeittotheninjaHattorikun,sohearmeout2.

IjustgottoldIwasscrewingaroundbytheguywhoscrewsaroundthemost

Itcameaskindofashocktome.

Nowsmychance!

1
AreferencetoGianfromDoraemon,whooftenexcludesNobitafromhisgamesbysaying,Thisgame
isforthethreeofus.
2
AreferencetoNinjaHattorikun,which,likeDoraemon,isakidsanime.

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 53

Spottinganopeningpastme,Zaimokuzaslippedintotheroom.Hemadea
smoothentrancehedidtheslidingpartwell.Buthiscoatwasdirtyallover.

Hmph,nosignoftheenemy,huhseemslikemyinfiltrationwasasuccess,
Zaimokuzasaidashemadeashowofinspectinghissurroundings.Then,asifhe
immediatelyforgotthecovertsecretagentsetting,hepulledoutanearbychair
andsatonitlikenormal.Ifyouregoingtomakeupcrap,donthalfassitNow
then,ladiesandgentlemen.Icalluponyoutodaywithaproblemathand.

Ireallydontwanttohearit

Thethreeofuspulledfacesinunison.Yukinoshitawentstraightbacktoher
readingasifshewasthatfedupwithlistening.Shesurewasquicktochangesuit.

ButZaimokuzagrinnedbroadlyandraisedhishand,cuttingoffmywords.
Everythinghedidpissedmeoff.Nownow,listentothewholething.Remember
howIsaidtheotherdayIwantedtobecomeagamescenariowriter?

Oh,nowthathementionedit,hedidsaysomethinglikethat.

Werentyouintolightnovelsorsomething?Yuigahamacockedherhead.

Erkwell.Itsalongstory,butIquitbeingalightnovelauthorbecausethe
incomeisntsteady.IthoughtIdratherbearegularfulltimeemployeeafterall.

Thatwasntalongstoryyouendeditintwosentences.Ireallydontgivea
crap,soquitlookingatmewhileyouretalking.

Heseemedtobeasincompetentattalkingtogirlsasusual.Zaimokuzahadonly
beenlookinginmydirectionashetalkedforquiteawhilenow.

Theatmosphereinsidetheroomhadeased.Actually,youmightsayitwasmore
likehispresencehadputadamperoneverything.Inthemidstofthesudden
waveofapathythathadcomeovertheroom,onlyZaimokuzawasenergetic.

Hecoughed.SoaboutthatgamescenariowriterthingIwastalkingabout

Ifyouveonlygotasettingandaplotoutline,Imnotlookingatit.

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Ohohoho,notatall.Thosewhowishtoquashmyambitionshaveappeared.I
stronglysuspecttheyarejealousofmytalent

Whatthe?

Ifeltindignant.No,youcouldhonestlysayIwasmad.

Thisguywastalkingoutofhisarse,sayinghehadtalentIthoughtabout
punchinghislightsout.

Hachiman,doyouknowoftheUGclub?

Huh?YuGi?IsitYuGiOh?Irepeatedtheacronymsinceitsoundedsostrange
tomyears.

Yukinoshita,whohadbeenreadingherbook,flippedapageassheansweredthe
question.Itsanewclubthatwasestablishedthisyear.ItsshortforUnited
Gamers,althoughIhearditsobjectiveistoresearchallformsofentertainment3.

Oh,soinotherwordsitsaclubforpeoplewhoalllikegamesandthatsortof
thing.

Indeed.Inourschoolthereisnoclubforpeoplewhosharethesamehobby,soit
wasallmergedintooneclub.Callingitahobbyistclubiseasiertounderstandfor
allintentsandpurposes.

Sotheyhadsomethinglikethatatourschool,huh

SowhatdidthisUGclubdo?Yuigahamaaskeddubiously,layingthestresson
theUGpart.

Onceagain,Zaimokuzasawhisopening.Ohaahem.Yesterday,wewere
playingatthearcade.Andunlikeatschool,IthoughtIcouldtalkreasonably
openlyatthearcade,soItoldmyfightinggamecomradesthatwritingagame
scenariowasmydream.

3
TheJapanesecallsittheYuugiClub,butinordertopreservethepuninEnglishIturnedthetranslation
intoanacronym.Yuugireferstogamesofalldescriptions,includingcardgamesandboardgames.

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Sayingitwasadreamwasanicewayofputtingit,butitwasreallyjusta
delusionithadtobetoughonthosemadetolistentoit,too.

Everyonewhowasthereworshippedmygreatambitions.Doyourbest!Were
cheeringforyou!Justwhatyoudexpectfromthemasterfencer!Hecancalmly
pulloffeverythingwecantdo!Immesmerised!Iadmireyou!andsoon.Itwasa
stormofpraise.

Look,you.Nobodywassayingthatwithastraightface.Youwerebeingtreated
likeajoke.NotlikeIcouldsayanyofthat.AsIrememberedthesituationathand
andlookedatZaimokuzasratherglowingexpression,Ifoundmyselfhesitating.

Howeverrrr!Therewasoneguyamongthemwhosaiditwasiiiimpossibleand
thatIwasdredreaming!Iamanadult,sointhatsituationIsaid,Yyoureright.

Notcool,misterZaimokuza4.Notcool.Zaimokuzawheezedheavily,asifthe
memoryofithadcausedhisangertoboilover.Afterpullingoutatwolitreplastic
bottlefromhisschoolbagandchuggingitdowntosoothehisparchedthroat,he
openedhismouthagain.

Iamnotanadultwhowouldbackdownoverhearingsomethinglikethat!

Areyouanadultornot?PickoneYukinoshitamuttereddisgustedly.

IttookamomentforthecringingZaimokuzatofightdownthelookoffearthat
cameacrosshisfaceuponhearingthat.Thenhewenton.Andso,afterthatguy
left,IflamedhimheavilyonChibasArcanabrochatroom.Oho,Ihavenodoubthe
mustbeseeingredrightnow.

WoooooowIsaid.YouresohorribleIcantlookawayImkindof
impressed.

4
HachimansaysZaimokuzasanhere,buthesclearlybeingsarcastic.Ithoughtthiswouldcomeacross
betterinEnglish,especiallysincehedoesntnormallyrefertoZaimokuzawithanhonorific.

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Hmph,thensomehowitturnedoutthatguywenttothesameschoolasme.This
morningwhenIopenedthechat,theyhaddecidedtosettlethedisputewitha
game.Everyonewasegginghimonhey,doyouthinkmaybetheyhateme?

LikeIknowwell,ifyouresettlingthingswithagame,isntthataprettysafe
wayofgoingaboutit?Decidingthingsthroughaction?

Hahahaha!Thatismeaninglessadvice.Zaimokuzapaused.Theotherguyis
waystrongerthanmeatfightinggames.

Huh?Arentyouinsanelygoodatthem?

Thatis,well,Iwouldcertainlynotbebestedbyanordinarymortal.Butthereare
manyaboveme.Hachiman,doyounotknow?Amongthetopclassfightinggame
players,therearepeoplewhoarecontractedaspros.

Prosthatactuallyhappens?

Indeed.Thedeeperyougo,themoreevilyoufindthatsfightinggamesforyou.
Thatguysskillisnotatthelevelofapro,butheiscertainlystrongerthanme,
Zaimokuzasaidheavily.

Yukinoshitasnappedherbookshut.Imoreorlessgetitnow.Basically,youwant
toaskustohelpyouwinatfightinggamesorsomeotherthinglikethat.

Nay!Zaimokuzascoffed.Hachiman,youfool!Youinsultingfightinggames,
punk?!Youllgetwhatscomintoya.Youdontknownothinaboutfighting
games.

HisgrammarwasgettingsomixedupIhadnoideawhathewassayinganymore,
butatleastthefactthathewasangrygotacross.Iwishthefactthatmyanger
waswellingupevenmorethanhiscouldgetacrosswelltoo.Dontsayallthatto
me.TellittoYukinoshita,damnit.

YukinoshitawaslookingatZaimokuzathesamewayonemightlookattrash.
Yuigahamasaid,Yikes,withnosmallamountofdisgust.

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 53

Verily,IwishtowinsodecisivelywhenIplaythatIneedntplayatall.Sobring
outthosesecrettools,Hachiemon.

Sometimes,IseriouslywonderifevenIcanputupwithallyourcrap

Whenyoutalkcrap,younevermindityourself,butittotallygetsonthenervesof
thosewhohavetolistentoyou

Zaimokuzawaslaughingallteeheeheelikeacutesykid.Suppressingmyurgeto
abusehimwithachair,IglancedsidewaysatYukinoshita.Predictablyenough,
Yukinoshitashookherheadfervently.

Well,nosurprisesthere.

Sorry,butno,IsaidtoZaimokuza.Thistimeitwasclearlyyourfault.Aslongas
yourenotgettingbeatenup,youmayaswellsuckitupanddealwithit.

ItwasntliketheServiceClubcouldsaveeverymanandhisdog.Wewerentin
possessionofanallpurposewishgrantingmachine,norwerewerobots
programmedtoassistpeople.Wesimplyjusthelpedpeoplethroughourown
efforts.Thatbeingthecase,wehadnointentiontoextendahelpinghandto
someonegettinghisjustdesserts.

Seemsharsh,butImjustsayingitlikeitis.

Zaimokuzawentsilentforamoment.Hemighthaveevenbeenreflectingonhis
ownactions.

Hachiman,hecalledoutmynameinavoicethatsoundedasifhehadbeen
thinkinghard.

What?Iansweredhimwithmyeyes,towhichZaimokuzaletoutaheavysigh.
Bofuu.Huh,whatwaswiththatsighjustnow?Whataweirdnoise.

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 53

Bofuu,youvechanged,Hachiman.Yourpastselfwouldhavebeenmorefired
up.Hepaused.Fromtheside,yourfacealwayslookedlikethebladeofa
knife,quiveringlikeabowstring'spulse5.

Stoptalkinginafalsettovoice.Myfacedidntlooklikethatwhatareyoutrying
tosay?Iaskedinreturn.

Zaimokuzashruggedandsnorted.Ohh,hmm,nevermind.Youdbestkeep
laughingandgigglingwiththegirls.Afterall,itisataleyoucannotcomprehend.I
doeverythingsothatyoucanslumberinthemidstofyourphonyeverydaylife.I
havenouseforsoldierswhohaveforgottenhowtofight.

Uh,wait.Idontrememberlaughingorgiggling.ItsnotlikeIhaveagirlfriend.
Oh,butTotsukalaughsandgiggles

Silence,boy!Mywordswereinterruptedbyasternreprimand,issuedfromthe
mouthofawolfgod6.

Oncethesoundofitfinishedreverberatingaroundthequietroom,amomentary
silencefell.Duringthatmoment,IthoughtIheardsomeonequietlysay,huh?
Youdonthaveagirlfriend?er,uhh.What?

Verywell,Hachiman.Iwillconcedetoyouhere.Itpainsmetonolongerbeable
togotothearcade.Inthatcase,whenyouandSirTotsukagotothearcade,you
willbeinstrifeforIwillnolongershowyouaround.

Oh!IIseethelight!Iwouldbeinstrife!IhavetomakeZaimokuzawinsomehow!

waswhatIwasnotthinking.

Nah,Ididntreallyneedyoushowingmearounditshardtosaythis,butyou
wereintheway.

5
AreferencetothelyricsofthePrincessMononokeendingsong.
6
AnotherreferencetoPrincessMononoke.ItquotesthescenewhereMoro,thewolfgod,tellsAshitaka
tostayawayfromtheforest.

140
 53

Dufuu.Zaimokuzaletoutastrangelaughter.Assoonashedidthat,thetwo
girlssecretlyedgedevenfurtherawayfromhim.Beforetheyknewit,thedistance
betweenYuigahamaandYukinoshitahadclosed.

huh,IdalwaysthoughtofZaimokuzaasanexistencegoodforruiningthemood
andstirringupshit,buthereallywaslikethatineverysenseofthephrase.He
couldbreakupgoodvibes,buthealsothoroughlydestroyedbadvibes.

Itwasntlikeheintendedanyofthat,butitwassomethingIoughttothankhim
for,consideringthestateoftheServiceClubrightnow.

Atthispoint,itwouldbekindofrudetoturnhimdownnow

Asifsensingintuitivelythatmyheartwaswavering,Zaimokuzaturnedonme
withashiteatinggrinonhisface.Myword,theServiceClubisabsurd.What
kindofserviceisitiftheycantevenhelpasinglepersoninfrontofthem?Can
youevenreallysaveanyone?Dontjustspoutprettywordsshowitthroughyour
actions!

Ugh,Zaimokuza,youidiot

Thepeakofsummerwasjustaroundthecorner,butasuddenchillrandownmy
spine.

isthatwhatyousay?ThenIwillshowyouproofofwhatwecando.
YukinoshitashotZaimokuzaafrostyglare.Iheardafeeblemeep.

See,look.Theresyourlaughingandgigglingforyou.Itsquiteterrifyinginreality.

141
 54

54

LiketheServiceClub,theclubroomoftheUGClubwasinsidethespecialbuilding
onlyitwasonadifferentfloor.

Ourroomwassituatedonthefourthfloor,whiletheirswasonthesecondfloor.
Theirclubroomwasofthesametypeasoneofthesmallroomsusedas
preparationrooms.

Theclubroomwasstillbrandnew,asindicatedbythepapermagicallypastedon
thedoorwithonlyUnitedGamersClubwrittenonit.

Well,shallwego?

Asitturnedout,weendedupcomingallthewayhere.Ilookedbackat
Zaimokuza,YukinoshitaandYuigahama.

ThehighandmightyZaimokuzaletoutanarrogantsnort.Theexpressionless
Yukinoshitashowednoreaction.AndtheslightlyuncomfortableYuigahamawas
standingsomedistanceaway.

whatareyougonnado?IaskedYuigahama,sensingthatshewasonourheels
andwantingtomakesureofitjustincase.

Asaclubmember,shehadntturnedupforsomedaysnow,andasthingswere,I
hadnowayofknowingwhethershewouldcomethistimeeither.Ifshewasbent
onfadingawayfromthepicturelikethis,thenforhersake,wewerebetteroff
notforcinghertocomewithus.

IIllgoYuigahamasaid,grippingherownarmstightly.Illgo,buthey,Hikki,
doyouhaveagirlfriend?

ShehadjustaskedmeaquestionsoillogicalIthoughtIwoulddie.Youknow,
butwasaparadoxicalword.Itcasttherelationshipbetweenthefirstpartand
thesecondpartofthesentenceinanoddlight.

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Nah,Idont.

Whatafoolishquestion,Yuigahamasan,Yuigahamasaidassheknocked
Yuigahamalightlyontheheadinadmonishment.Itisimpossibleforthisyoung
mantoevenhavenormalrelationswitheithergender.

Leavemealone.Idontneedagirlfriend.Tome,theresnothingmoreagonising
thanhavingmytimestolenfromme.Ifsherangmecryingorsomethinginthe
middleofthenightwhileIwassleeping,ImconfidentIdbreakupwithheron
thespot.

Whydoallthoseriajuuhavetocomplainsoopenlyabouttheirlovetroubles?It
waslikeanelderlypersonboastingabouthealthtroublesoranofficeworker
boastingaboutbeingbusy.Youcouldseesomuchmasochismintheirboasting
youcouldntevengetpissedoff.WeretheyMisawaorsomething1?

Whoa,youretheworstYuigahamasaiddisgustedly.Butweirdlyenough,her
eyesweresmiling.Ah.Bbutyouknow.WerentyougoingoutwithYukinonand
stuff?Whatwasthatabout?

ItwastheCatsandDogsShow,sowejusthappenedtobumpintoeachotherat
thetime,saidYukinoshita.Komachisaninvitedmetocomealong,thatsall.Did
Inottellyou,Iwonder?

Oh,right,Isaid.Idontreallygiveacrap,butcanwegetgoingalready?
Zaimokuzasgotnothingtodoandjuststartedlookingoutthewindow.

Wwaitjustaminute,Yuigahamainsisted.Soyoutwowerentdatingor
anythinglikethat?

Asif

Thischickreallydidhaveamisunderstandingthatwouldbeimpossibleifshe
hadjustlookedathowwenormallywere.Sheoughttogetaclue.

1
AreferencetoJigokunoMisawa,amangakawhoisveryfamousfordrawingreallybadcomics.

143
 54

Yukinoshitahadanopenlookofrevulsiononherface.Yuigahamasan,youknow
therearethingsthatevenIgetangeredby?Thecoldfurycameoutinherwords.

Oh,mybad!Itwasnothing.Nnowletsgo,okay?AnimpatientYuigahamaran
uptothedoor.Assheknockedonitsmartly,herglowingdemeanourwasthe
veryantithesisofYukinoshitassourexpression.

Assoonassheknocked,aslightlylanguidyeaaahsoundedinresponse.

Itwasprobablyokaytoenter.

WhenIopenedthedoor,theinteriorwasjampackedwithabunchofboxes,
booksandpackages,allpiledupinaheap.Theytoweredoverthesurroundings
likeabarrier,ormaybeapartitioningscreen,creatingalabyrinth.

Iwasstronglyremindedofabibliomaniacsprivatelibrary,crossedwithanold
timevillagetoystore.

Huh?IsthissupposedtobetheUGClub?Yuigahamaopenedthelidofanearby
boxandpeeredintoit.

Itwasaslightlyforlornlookingpackagethatmadeuseofaroseandskulldesign.
ThewritingonthecoverwasentirelyinEnglish,sotherewasnomistakingitfrom
firstglance:itcamefromoverseas.

DoesntseemverygameyYuigahamasaid,andforgoodreason.Normally
whenitcomestogames,youtendtothinkofconsoleandcomputergames.

Youthinkso?saidYukinoshita.I,forone,thinkthisfitstoaT.Yuigahamasan,
whatyoureimaginingisthatbeepingthing.

Beepingthing,yousay?Isaid.Yousoundlikeagranny.Evenmymumcallsthe
NESbyitsname

Imean,doesntitmakethatbeepingnoise?Yukinoshitasaidfrumpily,
althoughasfarasIknew,gamesthesedaysdidntmakebeepingnoises.

Well,youdontseemtoplaygames,Yukinon,saidYuigahama.

144
 54

Youplaythem,Yuigahamasan?

Weeell,mydadlikesgames,soIquitelikewatchinghimasheplaysthem.I
alwaysendupplayingthemabit.LikeMarioKartandPuyoPuyo.Ialsoplayed
littlestufflikeAnimalCrossingandHarvestMoon.

Bylittle,sheprobablymeantstufflikehandhelds

Youresurprisinglyhardcore,Iremarked.

Yuigahamashookherheadfervently.Oh,uh,notreallyImean,everyoneelse
wasdoingit,shechirped.

Well,gamesthesedaysdidhaveapartthatspecialisedasacommunicationtool.
LookedliketherewerewaystoenjoygameslikeYuigahamadid.

Oh,andstufflikethenewFinalFantasytoo.Thegraphicsweresuperprettyand
itwasreallycool!Plus,Icouldtotallycryatitlikeamovie.AndtheChocobos
weresupercutetoo.

Bah.TheinstantZaimokuzaheardYuigahamaswords,hepretendedtospit.
Sincethiswasindoorsandall,hedidntactuallyspitordidhe?

AguywhonevertalkedatallsuddenlyblewupinYuigahamasface,soyoucould
sayshemarvelledathisexistenceor,toputitmoresimply,shewrotehimoffas
ashiftyindividual.

Wwhat?Imscared

AfrightenedYuigahamacoweredinmyshadow.Zaimokuzametaphoricallykicked
herwhileshewasdown.

nooblord.

Hhuh?!Ihavenoideawhatyoujustsaid,butitreallypissesmeoff

Quitit,Zaimokuza.Yourfeelingsdontmakeanysense.Butlookonthebright
side:yourereallyassertingyoursenseofsuperiorityhere.Imtheonlyonewho
understandsme,includingmyowninsults.

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 54

Oho,Hachiman.Yourequitethepositivethinker.

Idobelievethatstheworstpartofhumannature,thoughYukinoshitalooked
disgusted.Games,huh,shewenton,theyseembeyondmyunderstandingas
well.

Beyondyourunderstanding,yousay,Isaid.Yeah,thatdidshowwithstufflike
thePansangame.

Huh?Pansan?WhyareyousuddenlytalkingaboutPansan?Yuigahamaasked,
ablanklookonherface.

What,soYuigahamadidntknowYukinoshitalikedPansan?Well,ratherthan
sayingshelikedit,itwouldbebettertocallherafreakoramaniacorsomething,
inmyopinion.See,thethingis

Hikigayakun,whatareyoutalkingabout?Yukinoshitacutin,interruptingmy
sentenceinquiteaninvasiveway.

Huh?Whatareyou?

Idontunderstandwhatyouresaying,Hikigayakunsofillmeinonthedetails
later.

Man,iflookscouldkill.

Uh,okay

Somehow,itdidntlooklikeYukinoshitareallywantedtomakeashowofhow
muchshelikedPansan.

What?Wassheembarrassed?Ithoughtshewasfinewithbeingopenaboutitif
thatwastheonlythingsheliked.Andhangon,whatwaswithherfillmeinonthe
detailslaterstuff?DidshewanttopumpmeforinformationaboutPansanwhile
keepingherloveasecret?

Ihadnoidea.Whatthischickgotembarrassedoverwascompletelybeyondme.

146
 54

Anyway,itwasntlikeIwasmakingapointofitwhenImentionedit.Idontreally
careifsomeonegossipsaboutmebasedonwhatIlikeorsomething.Whydo
elementaryschoolkidshavetojumpstraighttospreadingrumoursaboutwhom
soandsolikes?

Yuigahama,whowasmutteringPansanunderherbreathwithanunreadable
lookonherface,didntseemtobeinagreement.

Puttingthataside,wherearetheclubmembers,Iwonder?Yukinoshitaasked.

Oh.Yeaaaah,Isaid.Imean,theycalledouttous

YuigahamashiftedintopeoplesearchingmodelikeIdid.Isawwhatyoudid
there,Yukinoshita.

Sincethesizeoftheroomwasbasedonthedimensionsofapreparationroom,it
wasntallthatlarge.Itwasjustthatyoucouldntgetaproperviewthankstothe
piledupboxesandthebookshelvesstrewnaroundcarelessly.

Zaimokuzacoughed.Theyvestackedthingssohightheymusthavespentthe
mosttimeturningthisplaceintoastackinggame.Assuch,ifyouaimforthe
highestspot,youllnaturallyknowwheretogo.

Ohhh,Zaimokuza,howenlightening.Butsinceyouretakingthetimetosayall
that,tellittosomeoneotherthanmealready.

ItwassadhowIwastheonlyoneZaimokuzatalkedto.

Butfornow,IfollowedZaimokuzasadviceandcastmyeyesonthetallest
stackedtower.

OnceIdidso,therewereindeedvoices,evenifIcouldntseetheownersbecause
ofthebooksandboxesthathadbecomeapartitioningscreen,gettingintheway.

WhenItriedwalkingaroundit,twoguyswerethere.

Sorryforinterrupting.Ijustwanttohaveachat,Icalledouttothem.

147
 54

Thetwoguys,whomIassumedtobeUGClubmembers,lookedateachotherand
noddedcurtly.Thetwoofthemstaredatmyappearance.Well,itwasthefirst
timewehadmet,andifsomeguyrandomlyappearedIdbestaringathimtoo.

Idecidedtostarerightbackatthem.

WhenIdidthat,Irealisedthatthecolouroftheirhallwayslipperswasyellow.
Yellowwasthecolourforfirstyearhighschoolstudents.Inotherwords,these
guysweretenthgraders.

Hmph,soyoutwoarefirstyearbrats.

NosoonerdidZaimokuzarealisetheywereyoungerthanhimdidhisattitude
suddenlyturncocky.Ididntdisapproveofhowquicklyhisbodylanguage
changed.IreallyhatedbeingstifledbyagebasedrelationshipswhereIhadto
defertopeopleolderthanme,butwheneverIgotashareofthebenefits,the
skysthelimit!

IactedallhighandmightyrightalongsideZaimokuza.Ididitbecause,yousee,it
waspartoftheestablishedtacticofassertingonespsychologicaldominance
duringnegotiations,notbecausemypersonalitysuckedoranythingnotinthe
slightest.

Oi,youtwo.HeardyouguysweretalkingshitaboutmisterZaimokuza,Isaid,
pausingdramatically.Iminterestedtellmemore.

Hhuuuuh?HHachiemon?!Zaimokuzalookedatmeasifhewasentrustinghis
lifetome,butitwassonotcute.Hissocialstandingdroppedsharplynomatter
howyoungtheotherpersonwas,prettymuch.

whatareyouclownsdoing?Hurryupandsayyourpiece.Yukinoshitasentan
icyglaremyway.

Assoonasshedidthat,thetenthgradersnoticedherappearanceandstarted
whisperingthingstoeachothersecretively.

Hhey,isthatYukinoshitasenpaifromtheyearaboveus?

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Ccouldbe

Wow,weretheseguysforreal?WasYukinoshitareallysuchacelebrity?Well,it
wasnicetheyrecognisedherbysight.Itwasntunusualforsomeonetobe
wrappedinmysteryandtobewidelyknownoutsidetheirownyearlevel.Back
whenIwasinmiddleschool,Ialsoknewstufflikeacutesenpaisname.Thatwas
allIknewabouther,though.

Ohhh.Soyoutwohavebusinesswiththisguy?Iasked.

IdidnthavetoannounceZaimokuzaspresenceheemergedhimselffrom
behindme.

Mwahahahaha!Atlonglast.Youmighthavetalkedbigyesterday,butitstoo
latetobackoutnow!Ichastiseyounowasasenpaiinlifeandasenpaiinhigh
school!

Zaimokuzareallylaiditonthickwiththesenpaipartandthrewhisweightabout,
buttheUGClubmembershadasomewhatnonplussedreaction.

Hey,whatsthisguytalkingabout?Ohhh,burn.

Iknow,right?Nothingtoseehere.

AttheirsnickeringormorelikesneeringZaimokuzawastrembling.Um,H
Hachiman.Ididsomethingjustchange?Hewasmoreorlessbacktonormal.

Dontsweatit.Thisisaneverydayoccurrence,Isaid,clappinghimonthe
shoulder.Okay,soweretheServiceClub.Basically,wesolveproblemsandlisten
toyourworries,andsinceZaimokuzahadadisputewithyouguys,wecamehere
tosortthingsoutsouh,whichoneofyoutwodidit?Iaskedcasually.

Oneofthemraisedhishandnervously.Uh,me.ImHatano.Tenthgrade.And
thisguyis

Sagami.Tenthgrade

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TheonecalledHatanohadaslenderfigurethatgaveofftheimpressionthathe
hadaslightlyhunchedback.Hisglasseshadnoframesandthelenswasshaped
likeatrapeziumwithaslightlyacuteangleithadasharpsortoflookaboutit.
Fromsharpmindscomesharpideas,itseemed2.

Theotherguy,Sagami,hadapaleskinnedappearancelikeamiddleschoolers,
andhetoohadathinbuild.HisslightlyroundedglassesgaveoffanInspirethe
Nextsortoffeel,breathinglifeintothenextgeneration3.

Anyway,Icouldntbebotheredrememberingtheirnamesinparticular,soI
decidedtodistinguishthembytheirglasses.

So,Isaid.Iheardsomethingalongthelinesofyouhavingagamingshowdown
withthisguy,butyouaregoodatgames,arentyou?Thatsobviouswithouteven
havingtoplayamatchagainstyou,socanyoudosomethingelse?

Itwasanonsenseplanifyouaskedme.Itwasliketurningtoasoccerplayerand
saying,Screwthat,letsplaybaseball!Theotherguywouldntexactlywantto
losehisprematureadvantage.

Naturally,itgoeswithoutsayingthattheirfacescloudedwithdisapproval.Their
unwillingnesstonodwasanimplicitrefusal.

Atleastyoucanplayothergamesorsomething?ThatsallImasking,IsaidasI
pointedatthesurroundingmountainofpiledupgames.

Inthatcasewell.

Iguessitsokay

Unassumingwords,buttheirattitudesreekedwithconfidence.Theircertainpride
thattheywouldneverloseatgameswasplaintosee.Theydidntcallthemselves
theUnitedGamersClubfornothing,itseemed.

2
SharpCorporationisanelectronicscompany.ThelineFromsharpmindscomesharpideascomes
fromtheirslogan.
3
HitachiisaconglomeratethatoperatesanumberofbusinesssectorsinJapan.ThelineInspirethe
Nextcomesfromtheirslogan.

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Butbeforewechangethegame,weneedsomekindofcollateralHatanosaid
somewhatdiffidently.

Well,theothersidehadtogiveupsomethingaswell.Itwasnaturalthatthey
wouldinvokeconditionstoleveloutthescore.Inoddedandwaitedforthemto
continue.

ThenZaimokuzacangrovelatyourfeet,okay?IfIlose,Illtakeresponsibilityand
makehimapologise:Igotcarriedawaysopleaseforgiveme.

Thiswasalreadygettingannoying,soletsgowiththis.Zaimokuzahadreturned
tohissensesandwassaying,Huh?Me?Notthathehadanysayinthematter.

Well,sureThetwoUGClubmembersgavetheokayintheirunassumingway.

ThenIllleavethegamewellplaytoyou.Dontmakeittoohard.Afirsttimer
cantjumpintoagamewithahighentrylevelstraightoffthebat,sodontmake
itafightinggame.

Actually,Ithoughtitwasbecausegameswereeasiertohandlenowthaninthe
olddaysthatnewcomersfoundithardertogetinto.Evenifyoudidfindatitle
youwantedtoplayforabitatthearcade,prettymuchalltheGuiltyCogcrowd
plustheveteranswhowerearoundsincetheoldtitleswerecampedthere,so
youcouldntgetinside.Evenifyoucould,theypickedonyoucasuallysoitreally
madeyounotwanttoplay.Theyoughttoestablishacornerforcasualsfromnow
on.

InthatcaseIcanarrangeagameeveryoneknowssomethingabout.

Hmph,doitthen.Whatsthenameofthegame?Zaimokuzaasked.

Inresponse,thetwoguyspusheduptheirglasses.Ithinkwellplayagameof
DoubleDaifugo.

Theymighthavesaiditnormally,buttheireyesgleamedwithasinisterlight.

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55

Riffleriffle.Thesoundofshufflingcardsfilledtheroom.

Daifugo,alsoknownasDaihinmin,wasacardgameplayedwitharegularpackof
playingcards.

Um,areyouuptoscratchwiththerulesofDaifugo?Hatanosaiddiffidently.

Weallnodded.OnlyYukinoshitacockedherheadinpuzzlement.Ivenever
playeditifthiswerepokerIdhaveknowledgeofit.

Oh,thenIllexplaintherulesbriefly.Sagamilaunchedintoasimplesynopsis.
One:youdealallthecardstoalltheplayersequally.

Inreallife,theydontdealoutthecardsequally,though.

Two:youstartanewgame.Thefirstdealerplaysthefirstcardintheirhandand
theplayerstakeitinturnstoplaycardsintoapile.

Inreallife,theydalwaysforgetmyturn,andtherewerepeoplewhod
nonchalantlycutintoline.

Three:cardshavestrength.Fromweakesttostrongest:Three,Four,Five,Six,
Seven,Eight,Nine,Ten,Jack,Queen,King,Ace,Twothatsortofthing.TheJoker
istreatedasawildcard.

Inreallife,strengthwasntbasedonjustsimpleabilitybutalsoonstufflike
connectionsandmoney.

Four:playerscanonlyplayacardthatisstrongerthanthecardbeforeit.If
someoneplayedtwocards,youhavetomatchthatwithtwocards.

Inreallife,youdplayweakcardsevenwhenyouknewtheywouldntwin.Likea
sacrificialpawnortoshowsomeonealessonorsomething.

Five:whenyoucantplayacard,youreallowedtopass.

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Inreallife,theydontletyoupass.

Six:whenalloftheotherplayerspassandtheturncomesaroundagaintothe
lastpersonwhoplayedacardinthepile,thatplayerbecomesthedealer.The
cardsinthepilearediscarded.

Inreallife,thepastisneverdiscarded.

Seven:yourepeattheabovesteps,andthefirstonetogetridofthecardsin
theirhandbecomestheDaifugo(GrandMillionaire),andafterthattheranksare
Fugo(Millionaire),Heimin(Commoner),Hinmin(Needy)andDaihinmin(Extreme
Needy).

Thatwastheonlypartthatmatchedreallife.Howdidthatevenwork?Itwas
depressing.

Also,atthestartofthegametheDaifugocantaketwogoodcardsfromthe
Daihinminandexchangetwocardsoftheirownchoosing.

Inotherwords,itwasthekindofgamethatwasamicrocosmofmodernJapan,
wherethosewhowonobtainedtheadvantageandwereallowedtocontinue
exploitingeveryoneelseforevermore.

man,whatacrappygame.

Isee.Imoreorlessgetitnow.Yukinoshitanoddedinaffirmationasifthe
explanationshehadjustheardwasenough.Asusual,shewasquickonthe
uptake.

Wait,whatabouthouserules?Zaimokuzademanded.

Ohright,Hatanorespondedwithalightshrug.Hewasreallymakingfunof
Zaimokuza.

Theresafirsttimerhere,sojusttheacceptedrulesarefine,Isaid.Howabout
theChibahouserules?

UmwhataretheChibahouseruleslike?Sagamiaskedsomewhatworriedly.

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Huh?DotheynottellittoChibalocals?Well,whatever.Ididabriefexplanation.

WithDaifugo,youcouldsayitwasthatitwasthehouserulesmorethananything
thatgavethematchesvariety.Therewereamyriadhouserulesattachedtothe
basicrules,andwhenyouputitalltogether,thestrategicvalueshotrightup.

Letssee.TheresRevolution,EightEnders,TenTrashers,SpadeThreesandJack
Back.WewonthaveDespotism,Tights,KaidanorJokersasTwos.Thatsabout
it.

Oourschoolmightvehadsomethinglikethattoo,Yuigahamasaid.

Zaimokuzasnorted.SonoFiveSkipsorSevenStraits1.

Iftheregionalvariationssucked,therewerealwaystheschoolyardvariations.
OnceyoubecomeanadultandplayDaifugo,therewerelotsofdisagreements
aboutwhichhouserulestouse,soyouwerebetteroffdecidingonthemclearly
fromthestart.Thereweredisputesrightfromtheverymomentyoucalledit
DaifugoorDaihinmin.Itwaslikethedifferencebetweenchaseandtag.

Hikigayakun,explain.

Oh,right.IdassumedeveryoneknewwhatIwastalkingabout,butYukinoshita
hadyettoexperienceDaifugo.AndsoIaddedanoteoneachterm.

1
AsfarasIcansee,therearenoacceptedtranslationsforDaifugoterms,soIjustwentwithwhatwas
ontheEnglishWikipediapage.TenTrashers,SpadeThree,FiveSkipsandSevenStraitsweremy
owntranslations.TothoseofyouwhoplayDaifugo,theyreprobablynotentirelyfittingtranslations,
buttheyrethebestIcouldcomeupwith.Themeaningisclarifiedinthenovelitself,sotheactual
Englishtitlesareprobablynottooimportant.

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ARevolutioniswhenyouplayfourcardsofthesamesuit,whichreversesthe
strengthofthecards.AnEightEnderiswhenyouplayanEight,whichendsthe
currentroundandallowstheplayerwhoplayedthecardtostartthenextround,
whileaTenTrasheriswhenyouplayaTen,whichallowsyoutoremoveas
manycardsasyoulikefromyourhandaccordingtothenumberoftensyouplay.
ASpadeThreeishowtheThreeofSpadesbeatsJokers,andaJackBack
occurrswhenyouplayaJack,whichreversesthestrengthofthecardsforjust
thatround.

AsYukinoshitalistenedtomyexplanation,shenoddedstifflyfromtimetotime.I
guessyouwouldntgetitifyoudidnttryitforyourself.Thefastestwayofpicking
itupwastogiveitashot.

Wellacceptthosehouserules.

ThenwellhavetheDoubleDaihinminruleaswell.

Thetwoboysglassesglintedonceagain.

Sensingaweirdvibe,Igulpedsecretly.Butthenextmoment,thetwoofthem
smiledcheerfully.

Wemightcallitthat,buttherulesthemselvesarethesameasregularDaifugo.

Whatsdifferentisthatyouplayinpairs.

Pairs?Youmeanthatyoudiscussyourmoveswitheachother?Iasked.

TheUGClubpairshooktheirheadsinperfectunison.

No.Youalternatehandseachmove.

Yourenotallowedtodiscussyourmoves.

whichmeantthatthatnotonlydidyouhavetoreadyouropponentsthoughts,
youhadtoreadthethoughtsofyourownpartnerasyouplayed.Therewasan
unexpectedlayerofstrategytothatwiththatbeingthecase,theproblemwas
pickingthepairs.

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Iglancedtotheside.

Heheheh,dontthinkyoucanbeatourdeck

IreallydidntwanttoteamupwithZaimokuza

ThestrongestcardistheJoker,yousay.IseecanyouplayaJokerafteran
Eight?Yukinoshitawasrecitingtherulesasifsearchingforconfirmation.

Yukinoshitawasquickontheuptake,butshewasaDaifugonewbie.Notbeing
abletoreadthischicksthoughtsinthefirstplacemadethingsdifficult.Shed
probablyhavesomeharshwordsformeifshelost.

SothatleftYuigahamashedplayedDaifugobeforeandplusherhouserules
matchedtheregionalvariation.Mostimportantly,shewasrelativelysimple
minded,soitwouldbeeasytoreadherthoughts.

IlookedatYuigahama,hopingtopairupwithher,andmypuppyeyesmethers.

YYukinon,letsplaytogether!Yuigahamahastilybrokeeyecontactwithme
andclaspedherhandonYukinoshitasshoulder.

Oh,okay.Sure.

Andthatsthewaythecookiecrumbles.

Iwaswrongaboutbeingabletochoosesomeoneinthefirstplace.Itslaughable
thatapersonwhomnobodywouldeverchoosewouldpicksomeonefor
themselves.

NowthattheYukinoshita/Yuigahamapairwasdecided,mypairwasdecidedtoo,
naturally.Itwastheusualsuspect.AsifZaimokuzawasawareofthattoo,he
stoodinfrontofmeandpressedhisbackagainstme.

Hachiman,hecalledouttome.Wilstthoucomewithme?

canwejustgetthisoverwithalready?

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56

Hatanoremovedthestuffonthetablewithaswipe.ThenSagamibroughtover
threechairs.

Thiswastobethestageofourbattle.

Forthefirstround,SagamiandIalongwithYuigahamatookourseats.Since
therulewasthatwehadtoswitchplacesaftereachmove,ourpartnerswere
standingbehindeachofourchairssothatwecouldmakethechange
immediately.IhadnoideawhattheUGClubsstrategywas,butitwasprobably
tobeatYuigahamatothepunchandpreventYukinoshitafromgettingusedtothe
rules.

Sagamidealtoutthecardshehadfinishedshufflingonebyone.Thefiftyfour
cardsweresplitintoeighteencardsforeachofus.

WewillnowcommencetheUGClubversusServiceClubDoubleDaihinmin
match.Thematchwilltakeplaceoverfiverounds.Yourrankafterthefinalround
willdecidetheoutcomeofthegame,Hatanoannounced.

Wepickedupthecardsinfrontofusandfannedthemout.

Sincethisisessentiallyatwoversusoneteammatch,welltakethefirstmove
Sagamimighthavespokenwithatremulousvoice,buthepickeduphishandwith
consummateeaseandplacedacardinthemiddle.

Well,intheendtherewastheMe/Zaimokuzapairandthe
Yukinoshita/Yuigahamapair.Wedbeintheclearifeitherofuswon.Infact,
cooperatingwasourbeststrategy.Inthatcase,itwasonlyfairtoconcedethe
firstmove.

Andsothefirstturnendeduneventfully.

Wegotridofthecardsweweresupposedto,perhapsbecausethefirstround
wasawaitandseeroundforallofus.

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Hahahahaha!Atlastithasreachedmyturn!IdrawaMonsterCard!

OnlyZaimokuzamadeanoise.

IsummontheTenofClubs!AccordingtotheCardEffect,whenyousuccessfully
summontheTenofClubs,Icanchooseonecardfrommyhandandsendittothe
Graveyard!IplacefifteencardsfacedownandIendmyturn

Eachoneofhisfamiliarphrasesstirredupmemoriesoflongago.

ThatreallytakesmebackIdidautomatedYuGiOh!duelsalottoo.

AutomatedYuGiOh!duels?Yukinoshitaaskedwithaconfusedexpression.
Iveneverheardthatphrasebefore.

Itslikedoingchessproblems.ItsbecauseIhadnofriends.

Butchessproblemsarentforpeoplewhohavenofriends...

Oh,itwasnt?Ithoughtforsureitwaschessyouplayedbyyourself.

I,too,preparedtwodecksveryfrequently.IgotaheapofMiracleoftheZone
cardsandMagic:TheGatheringcards,butIhadnoonetoplaywithNowthat
hedsuddenlykilledthetensionintheairjustlikeIhad,Zaimokuzapassedmehis
hand.

SinceTradingCardGames(TCGs)arebasedaroundmatchesbetweenpeople,its
notfunatallwhenyoudonthavefriendstoplaywith.AftertheGameboy
softwarecameout,Igotawealthofexperienceplayingagainstthecomputer,
though.

Zaimokuza,whohadbeenmakinganoiseupuntilnow,quieteneddown,anda
silencedescendedoverthegathering.Therewasonlytheslightshfffsoundof
someoneremovingacardfromtheirhandandplacingitdownwithapatonthe
table.

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Andinthatway,anumberofroundspassed,andthegameprogressedwithout
muchevent.PerhapsthankstotheTenTrasherandthethreecardswehad
played,wewereinagoodpositionwithfewercards.

Also,speakingofhowmanycardseachteamhad,ourteamhadtwocardsleft
andYuigahamaandco.hadtwo,whilesurprisingly,theUGClubmembersstillhad
fivecardsleft.ComparedtotheDoubleDaihinmintheyhadproposedthemselves,
Ididntfeelanyparticularstrengthfromtheirplay.Theirswasawholly
unremarkablestrategyofgettingridofweakcardsfirst.Atthisrate,wemight
evenwinwithoutbreakingmuchofasweat.

YuigahamaplayedtheSixofSpades.IplayedtheEightofHearts,whichIhad
savedfortheend.Nowforthelastcard.

Zaimokuza.

Hmph.

Placingmylasthandfacedownonthetable,Igaveupmyseat.Zaimokuza
floppeddownonthechairandyelledout,Ourturn!atthetopofhislungs.Asif
thatwasntobviousjustbylooking.Illendthisnow!IactivatemyTrapCard!
checkmate.

Triumphantly,heputthelastcardinplay.

Ontopofthat,thecardYukinoshitachosetosavefortheendwastheTwoof
Clubs.RightaftertheUGClubpassed,shehandedthetworemainingcardsto
Yuigahama,whopromptlyplayedthetwocardstofinish.

Andwiththat,wehadzerocardsinourhand.TheServiceClubmembersfinished
infirstandsecondplace.

Mwahahaha!Itslikeyouwussesarenobigdeal!Howdoesitfeeltobeholdour
power?!Zaimokuzaholleredasifhehadachievedeverythingbyhimself.

Ifiguredithadtobeexcruciatingtogettalkeddowntobythisbuffoon,butwhen
IlookedintheUGClubsdirection,theyhadnonchalantlooksontheirfaces.

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Ohnoooo,Hatanokun,welost!Ohdear!

Indeedwedid,Sagamikun.Wetotallyletourguarddown!

Relativetowhattheyweresaying,Icouldntdetectanysenseofimpendingcrisis
fromtheirappearances.Itlookedmoreliketheywerehavingfun.Seriously,what
weretheythinking?

Sensingsomethingfishywasgoingon,IlookedattheUGClubpair,andthetwo
ofthembrokeoutintoagrin.

Werescrewed,eh?

Screwedindeed.

Imean,ifwelosewehavetotakeoffourclothes,theysaidinunison.

Nosoonerdidtheysaythatdidtheyflingofftheirouterclotheswithaflourishas
iftheyweretransforming,ofallthings.Thewaytheydiditwascool,buttheact
itselfwassomethingadeviantdid.

Huh?!Whatkindofruleisthat?!Yuigahamabangedherfistonthetablein
protest.

ButtheUGClubmembersonlygrinned.

Huh?Isntitnormaltostripafteryouloseagame?

Yeah,yeah.Youstripifyouloseatmahjongandrockpaperscissorsaswell.

Umno,theresnoruleforstrippingifyouloseatrockpaperscissors,notunless
itsaforfeitgame1.Youdostripifyouloseatmahjong.

Nowthen,saidHatano,nimblyroundingupthecardsandstartingtoshuffle
them.Letsstartwithroundtwo

1
Whenitcomestorockpaperscissors,theresjanken,theregulargame,andyakyuuken,theforfeit
game.Yakyuukenisspecificallyastripversionofrockpaperscissors.

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Hhangonjustasecondhere!Wait,listen!Yuigahamafailedmiserablyat
gettinghimtopayattention.Hewastednotimeincommencingthedeal.
Yukinon,letsgoalready.Thislooksstupidtoplayalongwith

Youthinkso?Idontmindmyself.Werefineifwewin,afterall.Anditsnatural
fortheretoberisksinplaying.

Hhuh?!IIdontwanna!

Itsnotaproblem.Thesheernumberofhouserulesinthisgamemaybe
bewildering,butnotonlyistherelationshipbetweenthestrengthofthecards
andtheirnumbersfixed,thebasiccourseofstrategydoesntchange.Ibelieve
thatifyourememberthecardsinplayandimaginewhatremainsinyour
opponentshand,thegameisyoursforthetaking.Moreover,sincethereseems
tobeanumberofwinningpatternsintheendgame,itsnothardtoguessfrom
thenumberofcardsleftintheopponentshandeither.

Mmaybeso,butwaaaah,Yuigahamamoaned,hereyeswatering.

Butinthissituation,theonlypersonaskinganythingofherwasYukinoshita.In
thefaceofYukinoshitasenthusiasm,therewasnothingYuigahamacoulddo.

IwonderedifIshouldstop.Only,IdidntthinkYukinoshitawouldhearmeout
straight.

Nowthen!Hurry!Letshurryandbegin,shallwe?!

AsIwasdeliberating,Zaimokuzatookhisseatandreceivedhiscardsfrom
Hatano.

Thenletsstart.Yukinoshitaalsopickedupthehandthathadspreadoutacross
thetableandfannedthemnimbly.Behindher,Yuigahamawasmakingalong
face.

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Now,firstup:thecardexchange.Hatanotooktwocardsfromhishandand
handedthemtoZaimokuza.InDaifugofromthesecondmatchon,theDaifugo
andtheDaihinminmustexchangecards.TheDaihinminhandsoverhistwo
strongestcards,whiletheDaifugohandsovertwocardsofhischoosing.

WhatcametousfromtheothersideweretheJokerandtheTwoofHearts.Nice
cards.

OhoLikeme,Zaimokuzawasgreatlydelightedashedrawouttwocardsand
passedthemover.

TheKingofSpadesandtheQueenofClubs.

Huh?!Hangonasec,whatareyoudoing?!Whyarentyougivingthemtheweak
cards?!IpressedZaimokuza.

Zaimokuzaclosedhiseyessilently.Then,herespondedinasolemntone.

itisaknightscompassion.

Thisguydidhebysomechancereallyonlywanttoseewomennaked?

ThetwoUGClubmembersgrinnedastheytookthecardsZaimokuzahandedover
tothem.

IIsee.Igotitnow

Sincetheiropponentswerebothmaleandfemale,creatingastrippingrulewas
theUGClubsadvancedpsychologicaltacticofstirringupdiscord!

whatnumbskullstheseguyswere.

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57

IdthoughttheseUGClubmemberswerejustidiots,butfromthesecondround
onwardstheystartedtakingupaskillfulstrategybeyondallrecognition.

Withoutfearinganyrisks,Hatanoplayedthreecardsatatimeandotherflashy
hands.

Sagamimadeuseofthecardeffectsandcutdownhisnumberofcardssolidly.

Themultitudeofstrategiestheyunleashedwithinaturnmadeitimpossibleto
readtheirnextmove.Certainvictoryloomedasthenumberofcardsintheirhand
wentdownmoreandmore.BeforeIknewit,theyhadtwocardsleft.

OurteamandYukinoshitasteamusedupourcardsonebyone,asifhangingon
fordearlife,andsomehowYukinoshitasteamhadtwocardsleft,whileourteam
hadgottenaroundtofour.

Yuigahamamovedherrighthanduncertainly.Itwasgettingclosetothestage
wherethematchwouldbedecided,andshewasprobablykeenlyawareofthe
winningpattern.

IIllusethis.

Thecardsheplayedaftersomethoughtwasthecardshehadsavedasafinishing
movetheTwoofClubs.

Luckilyforher,wehadthetwoJokersinourhand.Soifwejustletthisgo
through,Yukinoshitacouldgooutnextturnandthatdbegood.

Allright,atthisratetheredbenoproblem.OrsoIthought.Anunexpected
ambushlayinwait.

Dearme,myfootslipped!

Zaimokuzabumpedintomewithbruteforceandacardflewoutofmyhand.It
wastheJoker.

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Yuigahamashotoutofherchairlikearocket.Huh?!Holdon,Chuuni!Areyou
outtokillus?!shethreatenedhim.

ButZaimokuzawhistledinnocently.Sonowhewasouttopullthewooloverour
eyes,huh

Triumphantlyandingreatspirits,ZaimokuzaplayedtheThreeofSpades.Hatanao
quicklyfollowedthatupwithanEight,andthenSagami,takingover,playedthe
remainingAceofSpadestobethefirstoutoftheround.

AllthatwasleftwastodecidewhichpairbetweenusandYukinoshita/Yuigahama
thathadtostrip.

ThecardinthemiddlewasanAce.Toherchagrin,Yukinoshitapassed.

Theturncamearoundtome.

HachimanIentrustmyno,ourdreaminyourhands.

Icouldfeeltheintensitythroughhisvicelikegriponmyshoulder.WhenIlooked
atZaimokuzasface,acalmsmileplayeduponhislips,likethatofadyingwarrior.

Cometothinkofit,hadthisguyforgottenthatifwelosthewouldhavetogrovel
onhisfeet?

AsIcarriedZaimokuzasfrenziedexpectationsonmyshoulders,Ispreadmy
cards.IhadtheFourofSpadesandtheJoker.

Hatanowaspumpinghisclenchedfistintheair.Withoutanywords,thatgesture
ofhiswasscreaming,Wearecomrades!

Sagamihadloweredhiseyessurreptitiouslyandwasclaspinghishandssilentlyin
prayer.IcouldhearasmallwhisperofPleaseGodoutofthecornerofhis
mouth.

IwonderedifIhadeverexperiencedtheweightofsomanyexpectationsbefore
now.No,Ihadnt.Inthatmoment,Icouldindeedfeelthestrengthofourbond.

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MyfingertouchedtheJoker.Inthatinstant,Zaimokuza,whohadbeenwatching
inanticipation,letoutaYessss!inopendelight.

Inreaction,HatanoandSagamisprangupfromtheirchairsandleanedforwardso
fartheyalmosttoppledoverthemselves,andtheireyeswerealightforthe
momentoftruth.

Someonecalledouttomesoftly.

HACHIMANHACHIMAN

Itwasasmall,verysoftwhisper,butbeforeIknewit,ithadchangedintoan
uproariouscheer.Itwaslikeoneofthosepassionatemovingsceneswhenan
Olympicmarathonrunnerreturnstothetopofthestadium.

Only,inthatscene,Yukinoshitawasglaringatmewitheyessocoldthey
threatenedtoturnmetoice,andatearyeyedYuigahamawasmoaningwithher
mouthdrawninarigid,straightline.Bothofthemwerescowlinginmygeneral
direction.

ButthetwoUGClubboysandZaimokuzapaidnoheedtoanyofthatwhatsoever
andcontinuedtoroarindelight.

Wildenthusiasm.Chaos.Mayhem.Unrestrainedzeal.waitaminute?

Anuncontrollableimpulsewasspillingforthfrommyownbody.Iwasovercome
withlaughter.

Heheheheheheheh!

Everyonegulpedinthefaceofmybellowinglaughter.

Thenextinstant,Iutteredthewordpassinaquietwhisper,buteachandevery
personintheroomheardit.

Therewasamomentofsilence.

IFTHERESONETHINGTHATIHATETHEMOST,ITSTHOSEDUMBASSCOLLEGE
DRINKINGPARTYGIMMICKS,LIKEPENALTYGAMESANDMAKINGGUYSAND

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GIRLSSTRIPANDALLTHATCRAP.NO,YOUCOULDEVENSAYITGIVESMETHE
SHITS!

Myvoicecrackledthroughtheairlikeanelectricshock.Afterthat,silencereigned
onceagainorsoIthought,untilIheardYukinoshitaletoutadeepandweary
sigh.

Whatanutterbuffoonshemutteredidlywithfaintdisgust.

Thiswasimmediatelyfollowedbyafuriousroar.

Hachiman!Youbastard,whatareyoupulling?!Thisisnogame!Zaimokuza
grabbedmebythefrontofmyshirt.

Calmdown,Zaimokuza.Itsjustlikeyousaidthisisnogame.

Hm?Tryingtosoundabitcool,areyou?

IgnoringZaimokuzasquestion,myeyesslidtotheside.

Heeeey,whatarewegonnado?Thatsenpaissodisagreeable.

Ahhh,thatguyseriouslycantreadtheatmosphere

ThereweretwoshadowswhisperingtoeachotherHatanoandSagami.

Toughluck,Isaid.ImdisagreeableandIcantreadtheatmosphereandyour
littletrickswontgetpastme.

HHachiman,saidZaimokuza.Whatdoyoumeanbytricks?!

Theydontjustwanttomakeusstripwiththatstrippingrule.Theyremaking
useofthefactthatwevegotbothguysandgirlsinourgroup,anditsa
psychologicaltacticofbreakingupourcamaraderie!

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Right,theshacklesknownasstrippingwouldcastseedsofdoubtbetweenthe
Me/ZaimokuzapairandYukinoshita/Yuigahamapair.Theydbenefitifweboys
doublecrossedthegirls.Andevenifwedidntdoublecrossthem,theydbenefit
fromshakingupthetrustrelationshipbetweenourteamsandthatwouldinvite
ustomakemistakesitwasatwoprongedplan.

IIseesaidZaimokuza.Oh,ha!Nowthatyoumentionit,Ihaveheardofthis
before!Thesirenssecretritualisoneofcastingwitchcraftmagic,skilfullybaiting
themanwith3Dgirlstofantheflamesofcivilwar.Itsname:theHoneyTrap!
Heh,thatwasacloseone.3Dreallyisapieceofcrap.

Uhhh,okay.Well,thatsthebasicconcept,sowhatever.

Actually,theretotallywereadultswhowerecaughtinthehoneytrap.

Anyway,ifthingswentonlikethisaccordingtotheirplan,the
Yukinoshita/Yuigahamapairwouldstartsecondguessingusanditwouldbe
difficulttofindacommonground.

Then,ifYuigahamaandYukinoshitaweretogiveup,itwouldbeourloss,no
questionsasked.

Tothinkthattheynotonlyintendedtostirupdiscordbetweenteamsbutalso
betweenpairstheUGClubwasafearsomefoe.

Buttheirconnivingplotwouldendhere.Inarrowedmyeyesandglaredat
Hatano.Whatsmore,youevenplannedtostirmeupbyusingthegroup
mentality.

Wwegotbusted!

AndhereIthoughtyoudbeeasytotakeforaridesinceyoulookedlikesucha
blandperson!Sagamisaidsomethingkindofmean.

IwhippedoutmyfingerandpointeditstraightattheUGClubmembers.The
groupmentalitydoesntworkonmeyousee,becauseIamalwaysexcluded
fromeverygroup!Itoldthemloudly.

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Silence.

HatanoandSagamifurtivelyavertedtheireyes,anambiguoussmileontheirlips.
Itwasmadeupofhalfpityandhalfsympathy.Inotherwords,theyweretreating
measifIwastotallypathetic.

Ahem,anyway,Isaid,coughingasIchangedthesubject.Yourtrickswont
workonme.

ThetwoUGClubmembersexchangedglances.

Isee...lookslikewehavetoputinsomeseriouseffortnowtoo.

Prepareyourselvesplaytimeendshere.

Astheirlowchucklesreachedmyears,theirwordsmademeshudder.

foraclubaboutgames,theyreallydidntplayaround,didthey?

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58

TheUGClubwasntlyingaboutgettingserious.Theyfiredhandsinrapid
successionthatwereevensharperanddirtierthantheonesfromthesecond
round,andthuswewerepulledintoarelentlesswar.Theymadeuseofthe
advantagetheyhadobtainedfrombecomingtheDaifugo,andstrongcardslike
theJokerandTwospouredoutoftheirhandsateachcrucialjuncture.

Idalreadybeenstrippedofmysocksandshirtafterlosingthethirdround.Now,
aftertheendofthefourthround,Iputmyhandonmytrousersreluctantly.All
thatremainedwasmyfavouriteunderwear,mylastlineofdefence

Harrumph,thetimehasnowcomeformetoshedthiscoat,huhZaimokuza
startedtakingoffhiscoat,scowlingheavilybesideme.

Zaimokuzahadalreadytakenoffhissocks,fingerlessglovesandarmlets.His
trousersandshirtwerestillintact.

whatwasthisinjustice?WhywasItheonlyoneinunderwear?

Shit

IwashalfintearsasItriedtoslipoffmytrousersassmoothlyand
inconspicuouslyasIcould.Sensingthatsomeonewasstaringpointedlyatme,I
staredbackandmyeyesmetwithYuigahamas,whoseemedratherapologetic
anddespondent.

whatareyoulookingat?Quitcheckingmeout.

Hhuh?!IIwasntcheckingyououtonebit!NowayamIinterestedinthat!Are
youstupid?!sheyelledatmeatthetopofherlongsasshebangedmeagainst
thetable.

Uh,noneedtoblushbrightredandgetpissedatme.Thatwasajoke,Iswear.

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Yuigahamapuffedouthercheeksandactedallintimidating,butsoonenoughher
furysubsidedandhergazedroppedtothefloor.

um,sorry.Andthanks.

Itsnobigdealnoneedtothankme.IonlydowhatIwanttodo.

Hmph,notthatIreallycare,butsayingthatinyourstateofundressonlymakes
methinkofyouasapervertwithoutinhibitions,Zaimokuzasaid,snickering.

Dontyousaythat,youbastard

Oh,cometothinkofit.OnceIstartedstripping,Yukinoshitabegantreatingmeas
ifIdidntexist.Shedidnotlookinmydirectiononce,choosingtoignoreme
completely.Howverylikeher.

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59

Thecardsforthefifthroundhadnowbeendealt.

Ionlyhadonelifeleftinthisgame:myunderwear.Inotherwords,thiswasa
battleIdefinitelycouldnotlose.Itwasnothinglikethebattlesontelevision
wheretheysayIdefinitelycantlose,butwhich,forsomereason,theyalmost
alwayslost.

AllrightIvegottawinthis

Naturally,Itensedup.Icouldfeelthedeterminationcoursingthroughmybody.

Bwahahaha!Thisguystryingtoactcoolinhisunderwear!Zaimokuzalaughed
uproariouslyatme.

WhenIsurveyedtheroom,theUGClubmembersandYuigahamawerealso
desperatelyrestrainingtheirlaughter.Uponcloseinspection,evenYukinoshitas
shoulderswereshakingslightly.

Meanies,allofthem.

Angerswelledupinme,asyoudexpect.Oi,ZaimokuzaIcalledouthisname,
theedgeofmymouthtwitching.

AssoonasIdidthat,Zaimokuzaletoutanunnaturalcoughasifhetoohad
realisedhowpissedoffIwas.Calmdown,Hachiman,myfriend.Gamesare
meanttobeenjoyed.Dontbesouptight.

Lookyou

Dontyoutrythatselfrighteousbullshitonme,youbastardIwasabouttogive
himapieceno,fivepiecesofmymindwhenasighinterruptedme.

Isee.Sothatshowyoufeelaboutit.

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IttookmealittlewhilebeforeIrealisedthatwasHatanosvoice.Itwasclearly
differentfromthenervousandnottomentionweaksoundingvoicehehadbeen
usingupuntilnowyoucouldseetheaggressivetonecomingthrough.

Thatsjust,like,youropinion,man1,Sagamiinterjected.Well,notlikethatsa
badthing,butifyouregoingtostickwiththattotheend,yourekindof
screwed.

Itwasthekindofarrogant,dismissivevoicethatmadeyouthinktheownerliked
thesoundofitabittoomuch.

UrkZaimokuzawasabouttosaysomethingtothem,butassoonashecaught
aglimpseoftheirfaceshestopped.Theirexpressionsweremixedwithobvious
scorn.

Hatanosnorted.Well,whatever.Anywho,thisistheendoftheline.

Letuscommence,saidSagami.Thisisthefinalshowdown.

Oh,okay.

EachofusstoodinthebattlefieldindeferencetowhatSagamisaid.

Zaimokuzahadthefirstmove.First,hehadtoexchangecardswiththeUGClub.

ItseemedHatanowassearchingforwordstothrowaroundatthesametimehe
waspickinghiscards.Hishandsfellontwocardsandhethrewthemover.Justas
Zaimokuzastretchedhispalmouttoaddthosecardstohishand,Hatanosvoice
assailedhim.

SirMasterFencer,whydoyouwanttomakeagame?

ItseemedSirMasterFencerwasthenameZaimokuzawentbyatthearcade.No
twowaysaboutitheactuallycalledhimselfSirMasterFencer(lol).

1
Literally:Sothatiswhatdoyoucallit?theusersperspective.

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Zaimokuzaforgottopickupthetwocardsthathadbeenthrownathim,andthe
twocardsfellfromhishandandslippedontothetable.

Hmph.BecauseIlovegames.Idobelievemakingacareeroutofsomethingyou
enjoyisanobviouslineofthinking.AndifIwereafulltimeemployeeatagame
company,Idhaveastableincome,Zaimokuzaansweredinaseeminglycalm
manner,althoughhistruefeelingsweretransparentattheendthere.

Oh,sobecauseyoulovegames,huh?Thosetypeshavesurebeencroppingupa
lotlatelytheoneswhoonlylovegamesandcantdosquat.Areyouoneofthose
typestoo,SirMasterFencer?

Whatareyoutryingtosay?

Theymusthavestruckanerve,becauseinhisirritationZaimokuzaslammedthe
twocardshewasplayingonthetable.Andthen,asthetableandchairstrembled
witharoughsoundingnoise,hepassedmehishand.

Yukinoshita,whoseturnitwasnext,playedapairtofollowthatup.Youreonly
usingyourdreamasanexcusetoescapefromreality

Wwhatareyoubasingthato?ThatwasallZaimokuzamusteredbeforehe
cametoastop.

Sagamifiredsomecardsinordertofillthesilencethatfollowed.

Ifannedoutthecardsinmyhand.IfIcontinuedwithpairs,itwouldbemychance
toreducemycardsfromtheopeningoftheround.Withthatinmind,Ilooked
overthefourteencardsinmyhand.

fourteen?

Realisingthatwasntenoughcards,Ipeeredunderthetabletoseeifanything
hadfallen.Andsureenough,twocardsweredownthere.ThoughZaimokuza
mighthaveforgottentoaddthemtohishand,itseemedtheyhadfallenjustnow
whenhecausedthetabletoshakefromstandingup.Ipickedthemupandadded
themtomyhand.AndthusIobtainedtheFourofDiamonds.

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TheothercardwasthefourthSixIcouldmakeaRevolutionwiththis.

YetIhadnochoicebuttoholdontoitforlater.IfIweretoplayit,itcouldonlybe
afterIdbecomethedealerinthemidgame.

AsIwasmakingvaguecalculationsinmyhead,Iputtwocardswithahigher
numberinplay.WhenIdid,YuigahamaandHatanobothplayedfollowupcards.
Twoaces,huhseemednoonewaswillingtotopthat.Ipassed,andafterthe
playerswapSagamiputdownacard.

SirMasterFencer,youaresoveryshallow.Thisisntquitewhatyouweretalking
aboutbefore,butitsabouthowyouropiniononlymeanssomethingtoyouand
allthat.Icanonlylaughathacksandwannabes.

Wow,thatwassomesharpinsight.Keepitcoming.

HalfofmefeltlikecheeringSagamion.NottomentionYukinoshitawasnodding
emphaticallyinsilentagreement.

Uuuuuurk.Zaimokuzapassedmehishand,asifphysicallytryingtocontain
himself.

Havingtakenthecardsfromhim,Iplayedthenextcardinsequencewithoutany
flourisheswhatsoever.ZaimokuzahadtoneddowntheYuGiOh!soundeffects
hehadbeendoingupuntilnow,perhapsbecausehisspiritwasflaggingquitea
bit.

Yukinoshitawentnext.Hatanolookedsidewaysatthecardsheputdownanda
scornfulsmileplayedonhislips.Youhavetolaughatsomeonewhowantsto
makeagamewhenhedoesntknowthefirstthingaboutit.Youknow,thereare
plentyofcrappygamecreatorsthesedays.Guyswhomakegameswhentheyve
onlyeverplayedconsolegamesathome.Theyreonetrackmindedandcantdo
anythinginnovative.Theytakeawayfromthesoilthatgivesbirthtonewideas.
Theresnowayyoucanmakesomethingjustbecauseyousayyoulikeit.

Heplayedacard,asifslammingitagainstthetable,withanintensitythat
borderedontheoverpowering.

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Uuuuuuurk.

Zaimokuzasmoaningechoedagainsttheceiling.

AnumberofturnspassedwhiletheUGClubhadtheadvantageousposition.
WhenitwasZaimokuzasturn,SagamicalledouttoZaimokuzaashewas
strugglingtopickacard.

SirMasterFencer,youdonthaveanyskillsorachievementsyoureproudof,do
you?Thatswhyyoureonlyclingingtogamesandstufflikethat.

Facedwiththatvoicemixedwithsneeringlaughter,Zaimokuzawasunableto
formulatearesponseandpassedmehiscardswithheavyreluctance.Itwas
prettymuchsayingpasswithoutthewords.

Aftertakingthecardsfromhim,Itookmyseat.

Sagamiswordswerestillringinginmyears.

Bythat,Imeanthatseeingsomeonetakesuchopendelightinpickingon
chuunibyouwasterriblydishearteningtherewasnootherwayofputtingit.
Tellingawideeyedboyabouttheharshnessofrealitymadeyoulooklikeatired
adultgettingworkedupoverhisownlifesdisappointmentsthatkindofpain
wasverymuchpresenthere.

Sinceeveryonepassed,theUGClubbecamethedealer.

Hatanoplayedthreecardsatatrulylazypace:one,two,threekings.Naturally,
therewasnowayourteam,whichhadjustpassed,couldplayanything.
Yukinoshitapassedtoo.

Bytheway,SirMasterFencer,whatsyourfavouritemovie?

hmph,letssee.Mahou

Besidesanime,Imean.

Saywhat?!

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Themomentanimewastakenoutoftheequation,Zaimokuzaflounderedin
silence.Oho,whatdowehavehere?HereallygottoldbutitwasntlikeIhad
anyparticularfavouritemovieeitheronceyoutookawayanime.Ifpressed,I
wouldsayLon:TheProfessional.Iwanttotakeinyounggirlsasmyprotgesas
well.

RidiculingthesilentZaimokuza,Sagamibrushedthekingstothesideandopened
withanewcard.

See,hereallycantsayanything.Sowhatsyourfavouritenovel?

hmph,recentlyIhavebeengettingintoOrenoKano

Besideslightnovels.

Urk!Zaimokuzastumbledoverhiswordsbigtimethankstobeingstoppedso
suddenly.Hethrewhisheadbackexaggeratedlyuntilhewasstaringatthe
ceiling,unabletorecover.Itwaslikehehadjustbeenonthereceivingendofa
soliduppercut.

Zaimokuzawasshakingsoviolentlyhewasbarelystanding,anexpressionofdeep
miseryetchedacrosshisface.Washeoneofthosetypesoneofthosecrybabies
fromtheyounggenerationthatjustcanttakeahit?

ThatwastheZaimokuzathetwoUGClubmemberswerelookingatwiththeir
scornfuleyes.Sointheend,yourejustaphony,Hatanosaid.Youdonteven
understandtherealityofentertainment.Wevedoneourhomeworkonthe
gamingandentertainmentindustries.Whenablockheadlikeyoucomesoutand
sayshellmakeagameorsomething,itsembarrassingtowatch.

Justashesaid,thisroomreallywasoverflowingwithgames.WhenIsawhowall
theboardgameswerepackedintoboxesandstackedinpiles,aswellashowthe
dice(probablyusedfortabletopRPGs)werescatteredaround,Icouldeasily
imaginehowthoroughlyimmersedthetwoUGClubmemberswereingames.

Zaimokuza,ontheotherhand,wasntlikethatatallhejustwentgagaovercute
characters

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Thewayhewasrightnow,therewasnowayZaimokuzahadanychanceof
winning.Itwasobviousthathewouldlose,andnaturallyhewouldsufferthe
humiliationthatfollowed.

Butthatkindofpissedmeoffabit.

IdidntparticularlymindifsomeonemadeafoolofZaimokuzaandIfeltno
differentlyaboutwhetherhegotshotdown.Still,whattheseguysweresaying
wasdefinitelycomingfromthewrongplace.

IjustcouldntputmyfingeronwhyIwassoirritated.

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510

Thegamewasapproachingitsfinalphase.TheUGClubhadfivecardsleftintheir
hand,whileYukinoshitasteamhadsixcardsandourteamhadeight.Fromthe
numberofcardsitwasclose,butintruth,thatwasntthecasefromthecontents
ofthecardswewereholding.TheUGClubhadtheJokerwehadgivenoverto
them.Themoreitapproachedtheendgame,themoregreatlythedifferencesin
ourinitialparameterswouldbereflectedinourtactics.

Yuigahamamusthavejudgedthisastheopportunemomenttolaunchherattack,
becauseforamomentsheexchangedeyesignalswithYukinoshitabeforeplaying
threecards.Asyoudexpectfromtheirtiming,nobodycouldcounterit.

Yukinoshitatookupthecardsandsatdownatherseat.Iheardoutbothsidesof
thediscussionanditseemstheUGClubpossessesthesounderlogic.Hikigaya
kun,ifyourethinkingabout,erm,ZaiZaihim,yououghttobeshowinghim
thecorrectpath.

AsYukinoshitabroughtoutanothercard,therewasasmileplayingonherlips,
likeshewastestingme.TheUGClubfollowedacardinsuit.

Well,Yukinoshitadidhaveapoint.IfZaimokuzareallywasaimingtobecomea
gamewriteroralightnovelauthor,heneededtoputsomerealeffortintothat
goal.Hecouldmakeitifhedidntjustscribbledownoutlinesforhisselfindulgent
masterpiecenovelandinsteadlearnedfromHollywoodscriptwriting
techniquesandstudiedacclaimedworksashisbible.

IdidthinkthatHatanoandSagamioughttobepraisedfortheirhardwork,and
thatZaimokuzashouldbecriticisedandscoldedforhishalfassedwayofdoing
things.

butjuststickingtothatwasnottherightthingtodo.

Therightwayofdoingthingswasthehighhandedwayofdoingthings,andthat
waswhatmadeitselfindulgent,Ithought.

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Followingthetextbook,adheringtothecurriculum,finishingtheassignments

Wasthatnotmerelythetraditionalmeansofsuccessuntilnow?Relyingonpast
fortunesandleaningonauthority,donotcountlesspeopletodaycoatthemselves
withthatattitudeuntilitsolidifiesandstickstotheirverysouls?

Toberight,onehastoentrusthimselftohisownvisionofwhatisright.

ItsnotlikeitsguaranteedtheUGClubswayofdoingthingsisrightoh,and
itswrongtosayImsayingthatoutofconcernforZaimokuza.

Wellthen,saidYukinoshita.Thatcertainlyshowshowmuchyoucareabout
yourfriend.

Um,hesnotmyfriend.

Ifhewasmyfriend,Idprobablystickupforhimatatimelikethis,though.Still,I
didntknowhowthisidiotherecouldmanagetodighisowngravesodeep.It
didntmatterwhatIsaidtohim.Youcouldevenfindpeopleinhisclasswhohad
givenuponhimbecausehewassoincompetent.Youcouldevensaytheyhad
thoroughlygivenupontheideaofevenbeatinghimup.

Yuigahamaopenedhermouthtentatively.Youknowshesaidslightly
uncertainly.Idontreallygetgamesandstuff,notindetail,but

BesidesYuigahama,nobodyraisedtheirvoicetointerject.Itwassimplythather
serious,deliberateexpressiondreweveryonesgazestowardsher.

IwaitedforYuigahamatocontinuespeaking.Yuigahama,whohadbeen
concentratinghergazeonhercards,raisedherheadabruptly.

Thenshelookedmesquarelyintheeyes.

Evenifitsnottherightwaytostartdoingthings,evenifyoucantfollow
throughaslongasitsnotalieorfake,itsnotwrongtobemovedbyfeelingsof
loveIthink,yeah.

Iwonderedwhomthosewordsweredirectedat.

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Justasthatthoughtwentthroughmymind,therewasathumpsoundof
someonesteppingonthefloor.

yes.ItsjustlikeyousaidyourerightthatIhavenothingtobeproudof.

Gonewastheaffectedwayofspeaking.Thevoicetrembledsomuchitwas
pathetic,andthoughthewordscameoutstumblingly,theycontinuedwithout
stoppingforbreath.

SoIllbetonthis:thatitsweirdthatImworthless!Thatyouguysarewrong!
Zaimokuzawailed,thesnotstreamingdownhisfaceandhisshoulderstrembling
violently.

Nomatterhowyoulookedathistearyeyedappearanceasheglaredatusalland
wheezedheavily,itwasthatofaloser.

HatanoandSagamilookedatZaimokuzaanguisheddemeanourwitheyesfullof
repugnance.No,theymightnothavebeenlookingatZaimokuza,butrather
throughhimtheysawthepainoftheirownpastselves.

Imsureeventheylovedgamesonce.Andthattheyhadbeenwrappedupin
theirdreams,onceuponatime.

Butthedreamwastooheavyforapersontocontinuecarryingalone.

Asyoubecomeanadult,youstartlookingtowardsarealisticfuture,anditsonly
thepipedreamsthatyoustopbeingabletochase.

Salariesthatcouldntgetanyhigherthanthebareminimumof200,000yen,the
patheticemploymentrateofgraduatesfromfamousuniversities,thesuiciderate,
therisingtaxes,andthenthemiserablepensiontotopitoff.

Youonlycometoknowaboutthosesortsofthings.Ifyouwereahighschool
student,alreadyhalfwaytowardsbecominganadult,youcouldunderstandthat
much.

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Everyonejokinglydeclaresthattoworkistolosetothesystem,butthatsnot
necessarilywrong.Inaworldlikethis,alifewhereyouonlychaseafteryour
dreamisbitterandpainful,andjustthinkingaboutitmakesmesigh.

Itwaswrongtosubmityourselftothatjustbecauseyoulovedsomething.

Thatwaswhytheycompensatedforit.Theybuiltuptheirknowledgeandinspired
themselvesbywatchingthosewhowereonlydreaming.

becausebynomeansdidtheywanttoquit.Nomatterhowmuchtheydenied
it.

youdontknowathingabouthowtheworldworks.Idealsandrealityare
different,theydeclared.

Iveknownthatforages!Whentheybecamewriters,mycomradesfromthe
arcadecontinuedtosubmitmanuscriptsastheyworkedjobs!Theonesboasting
aboutskippingtheirsecondchoicesareNEETs!1Iknowthatalltoowell
Zaimokuzasfistclenchedtheair.Hediditwithallofhisstrengthsostrongly
thathisnailsalmostpiercedhisskin.IknowthatwhenIsayIllbealightnovel
author,ninetyninepercentofpeoplewouldcrackuplaughingandthink,What
anidioticdream!orDontbesuchakid!Facereality!Evenso

hewasright.Weknewhowrealityworked.

Weknewthatterroristswouldntsuddenlyattackusintheclassroomandthat
thetownwouldntgetinfestedwithzombies,forcingustohideawayinthehome
center.

Ifanormalpersonheardyousaythatyouwantedtobeagamewriteroralight
novelauthor,theywouldthinkofitasapreposterousdreamonparwiththose
otherinanedelusions.Noonewouldseriouslysupportthemorseriouslystop
them.Evenifyouseriouslydeclareditwasyourdream,noonewouldtakeyou
seriously.

1
StandsforNotinEducation,EmploymentorTraining.

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Andsobeforeyouknowit,youendupquitting,andthenyou,whohadoncebeen
adreamer,nowwantedtolaughatotherdreamers.Youwantedtolaughandlie
toyourself.

Inthefaceofallofthat,Iwonderedjusthowthisguycouldannouncehisdreams
evenashebrokedowncrying,evenasthesnotrandownhisface,evenashis
voicequivered.

Rightnow,Ibelievewithallmyheart.EvenifIcanneverbecomeanauthorora
writer,Icanstillcontinuetowrite.IdontlovewritingbecauseIwanttobea
writer!IwritebecauseIloveit.

Honestly,Ifeltenviousofhim.

WiththatsinglephrasebecauseIloveit,hedecidedhisfatewithguileless
honesty,withoutanydoubtsorcynicismcreepingin.Hisstupiditywasblindingin
morewaysthanone.

ThestrengthittooktohonestlysaybecauseIloveitmademyeyeswince.
PerhapsitwasbecauseIhadlockedawaytheinnocencetostatesomethingfrom
theheartwithoutbravadoorirony.

ThatswhyIgottothinking.Maybe,justmaybethismatchcoulddecideit.If
Zaimokuzano,wewon,maybethenIcouldallowmyselftobelieve.(NotifI
lost,though.)

Zaimokuza.Itsyourturn.

IpushedmycardsagainstZaimokuzasfist,whichwasclenchedagainsthischest.

Zaimokuzapressedahandagainsthischest,asiftocheckhisheartbeat,before
acceptingthecardsfrommeandtakingasteptositdownonhischair.

nothinganyonecouldsaytomenowwillmakemequit,hewhisperedashe
passedme.Hisvoicehaddroppedsomewhatanditsoundedkindofcool.Stopit
withthecoolvoiceitllstickinmyhead.

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Zaimokuzatookalonganddeepbreath,regainingcontroloverhisshaking,crying
voice.

oho,sorrytohavekeptyouwaiting.Shallwenotendthisduelnow?

Wehadeightcardsleftinourhand.TheJackofSpades,theEightofClubs,the
ThreeofHeartsandtheFourofDiamonds.

Andthenthesetoffoursixes.

Eatthis!InfinityClincher!

Withashffffsound,ZaimokuzapulledoutacardandthenWHAM!Hemadehis
ownsoundeffectasheslammedthecardintoplay.Okay,soIcouldseethat
infinitywasthenumber8turnedonitsside,andsincetherulewascalledthe
EightEnder,Isupposedtheclincherpartareferencetothat,Iguess?

Hachiman.Infullcontrolofhimselfnow,Zaimokuzacastoutmynamelikehe
castouthishand.

Dontsaythattoeveryone.Ihearyouloudandclear.

Itookmyseatandfannedoutmyhand.

IfIwasgoingtouseit,nowwasthetime.Itwasbecausewehadkeptonlosingall
ofthistimebecausewehadalwaysbeenweakandyetfailedtorelentthatwe
coulduseitnow.

Wasitwillpower?Perseverance?Fortitude?Slowandsteadywinstherace?

No,Ihadbeenaimingforthisfromthestart.

Thus,thedefeatsupuntilnowwerenotdefeats.IhadlostthebattlesbutIwas
winningthewar.

Adefeatisnotadefeatuntilyouacknowledgeitasone.Imsuretheman
standingbehindmewouldnotacknowledgehisdefeateventohisdyingbreath,
nomatterhowoftenhelostorhowwronghewas.Inthatcase,hewastheman
closesttovictory.

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Evenafterbeingtotallyshutdownandhavingyourhopesanddreamsamountto
nothingeventhen,tobeabletocontinueroaringwithallyourmight.Relyingon
nothingbutonessimplestrengthofwill,standingupforonescause.

Whenyouputitlikethat,youcoulddoitandcallitadream.

Nomatterwhoyouwere,itwasanillusiondifficulttobear,asmuchasitwasa
preciousone.Andsoonlyahandfulofpeoplecoulddoitseldomdiddreams
becomerealityinthisworld.

BeforeIknewit,thetimehadcome.Whatwasthisfeelingofclimax?
Inadvertently,thewordsIsoadmiredcamespillingout.

Iwont

No,Iwont.

Thetwoofusstoodwithourbackspressedagainsteachotherasweutteredthe
answeringlines.

Wewontlose!

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511

Thefourcardswereclaspedinmyhand.Islammedthemonthetable.

TheEndofGenesisT.M.RevolutionTypeD1!

Shutup,Zaimokuza.Revolutionwasfineonitsownhedidnthavetomakeit
soundallcool.Icouldsensehislatenttalentforthatsortofthing,though.

Yuigahamawassmilingwryly,whileYukinoshitasighedinawaythatsuspiciously
resembledasnort.Pass,sheannounced,shrugging.

HatanoandSagamilookedatZaimokuzaresentfully,asiftherewassomething
caughtintheirthroats.

Nosurprisesthere.

Imean,Ihadnodoubttheseguyshadplayedgameslikethisalongtimeago.At
somepoint,theymusthaveseenvariousthingsandcometotheconclusionthat
simplylikingsomethingwasnolongerenough,andsotheysoughtexcuses.

Wastheirbriefmomentofhesitationcausedbytryingtopickacardorwasit
becausetheywerelookingbackonthepaththeyhadwalked?

Pass

Welldone,Hachiman.Nowleavetheresttome.Notbotheringtohidethe
excitementonhisface,Zaimokuzasnatchedthecardsfromme,laughingashedid
so.SwordofJack!theReverse.

Hesaiditsoflamboyantly,butasyoumightguess,itwasjustaJackofSpades.

Oi,hangon,youidiot!Isaid.Youjustmadetherevolutionpointlesswithyour
JackBack!

1
ThisisareferencetothenameofT.M.RevolutionsshortlivedduowithfellowJpopartistAsakura
Daisuke.

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Whenarevolutionwasactivated,theeffectofplayingtheJackBackistosuddenly
reversetherevolution.Inotherwords,seeingastwonegativesmakeaplusand
thiscasewasnodifferent,thenumberhierarchywouldgobacktonormal.The
stateofthegameherewassuchthatyouneededtowhittledownyourweak
cardsbyputtingtheminplay.

Huh?Zaimokuzablinkedwithsurprise,beforerealisinghisblunder.Oh!

Goddamnit,callingoutthenamesofspecialtechniqueswashigheronthisguys
listofpriorities

Thisguywasahopelesscaseafterall.Idsaidwewouldntlose,butthatwasall
renderedmoot.ZaimokuzahadnoZetsueiandIhadnoShellBulleteither2.

Slightlyperturbed,Yuigahamachosetopass,andSagamisparednomomentin
playingtheTwoofSpades.

NotonlydidtheUGClubhavetheJoker,therewasnothingwecouldplaythat
couldtopthiscard.

HatanoandSagamiexchangedglancesandletoutalongsighofrelief.

ThedealshiftedtotheUGClubwhiletherevolutionstillcontinued.

TheUGClubhadthreecardsleftintheirhand.Wehadtwocardsinourhand,but
onceyouwerethedealer,therewasnodoubttheformulatovictorywassetin
stone.

Well,Idoadmireyourenthusiasm,SirMasterFencer,Hatanosaidasheheld
twocardsbetweenhisfingers.Theseguysarereality.

TheyputdownthetwocardsliketheywereswingingtheGrimReapersscythe.

Nocounter,huhifithadntbeenforthattinymiss,wewouldhavebeen
winning.Butnousecryingoverspiltmilk.

2
ThisisareferencetothespecialpowersofthetwomaincharactersintheanimeseriessCRYed.

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TherewasnothingforitIwonderedwhetherIwouldhavetostrip.

Itwasthenthatithappened.WerebeatnomatterhowIcountthecards,
theresnohopeofwinning,Yukinoshita,whohadbeensilentupuntilnow,
moanedasshepressedahandagainstherforehead.Hatanowasstartledtoahalt
becausesomeonehehadntexpectedtospeakuphadopenedhermouth.

HuhYukinon,howdoyouknow?askedYuigahama.

Youllseewhenyoucountupallthecardsinplay.Then,onceyoutakeoutour
cards,youcanreadwhattheotherplayershave.Ontopofthat,theDaifugoand
theDaihinminperformedanexchange.Sincethestrongcardsweregiventothe
UGClub,itsnotdifficulttonarrowitdown.

AreyouComputerObaachanorsomething3?

Hownicesherememberedallthecardsinplay.Yes,itwassomethingagrade
schoolerwouldthinkof,therewerentmanywhodactuallygoaheadanddothat.
Youdhaveahardtimejustmemorisingthecards,letalonethinkingofastrategy
ontopofthat.Moreover,whenyoutookthegameseriously,thatkindofthing
reallystoppedmattering.YoudrealisetheycouldonlyhavetheTwoandthe
Joker.

wasthischicksosmartshewasstupid?

TheUGClubwillpairtheJokerandEighttogetherandplayanEightEnder,and
thentheywillfollowthatupwithaSeven.HikigayakunsteamhastheThreeof
HeartsandtheFourofDiamondsleft,soourlossiscertain,Yukinoshitasaid
irritablyassheputhercardsdownandstoodupfromherseat.

Whoa,howdidsheknowwhatcardsIwasholding?WassheanAlterUseror
something4?

3
ComputerObaachanisapopularchildren'ssong.Thesongisaboutagrandmawhocandoanything.
4
AlterUsersaretheoverpoweredcharactersfromsCRYed.

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Yukinoshitabitherlipinvexationandhercheeksblushedredinembarrassment
assheputherhandonthesleeveofhersummervest.Herfingers,tremblingwith
thehumiliation,graspedhersleeve,andforthoseofuswatching,itwasa
disorientingexperience.

Breathingaheavysighandgrittingherteeth,Yukinoshitasummonedherstrength
intoherlong,thinfingersandpinchedthesleeves.

Slowly,sheliftedthevest,andherpreviouslyconcealedblousebegantocome
clearlyintoview.IfIsecretlypeeredintothespacebetweenherbuttons,Icould
catchaglimpseofherwhiteskin,assmoothasporcelain.

Myeyesweregluedtoherinspiteofmyself.Well,itwasntlikeIcompletely
hatedthat,though.

AtthesametimeIgulped,Iheardaslightsound.

Damnnoise,zipitalready,youllmakemyeyesstray,Ithought,glaringatthe
sourceofthenoise.HatanohaddroppedtheJoker.

Butitseemedrightnowthatwastheleastofhisconcerns.Sorry,heapologised
withoutpickingupthecard.Hejustlookeduponceagain.

geez.

Youreallyhavetowatchout.RightthenIthought,tryingtoturnaway,when
suddenlymyfieldofvisionwastotallyobstructed.

Stop.Right,thatsenough.

Theuniquelysofthandsofagirlcoveredmyeyelids.

WhenIgentlybrushedawaythehandcoveringmyeyes,Yuigahamawaslooking
atmewiththesameeyesonemightlookattrash.

Whatwasthatfor?Iasked.

AsullenfacedYuigahamagavenoanswer.Shewhippedherheadtotheside,her
dumplinghairshakingwithherdissatisfaction.

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Yukinon,youdonthavetostrip,youknow?

YuigahamagrippedbothofYukinoshitashandstostopher.Assoonasshedidso,
thetensioninYukinoshitasbodyslowlydissipated.Yukinoshitasqueezed
Yuigahamashandbackwithoutanystrength.

butthisisacontest.ThoughIamsorryIdraggedyouintothis.

Ohh,thatsnotitwecanwinwiththis,Yuigahamasaidasshepickedupher
handfromthetable.Here,theSpadeThree.

ItcounteredthecardHatanohaddroppedearlier.Theonethathadfallenfaceup
intheplayingarea.

Urk!HatanoletoutasurprisedyelllikeacharacterfromYokoyamaMitsuterus
TheRomanceoftheThreeKingdoms5.

ThiswasfollowedbyanUrk!fromhispartner.Sagamihadaflabbergasted
expressionthatresembledKinnikuman6.

TheThreeofSpades.Originallytheweakestcard,therewasnocardtheThree
couldbeat.Butunderspecialrules,itbecametheonlymeansofcounteringthe
Jokerthewildcard.Moreover,underthecircumstancesdictatedbythe
Revolutionrule,theThreewasnowpermittedtositasthestrongestrankedcard.

WithinDaihinmin,thegamethatmodelledmodernsociety,thereexisteda
brilliantandfleetinghope.

Hereyougo,Yukinon.Yuigahamacheerfullyhandedthelastcardtothe
dumbfoundedYukinoshita.

YukinoshitablushinglyacceptedYuigahamascard,alongwithhersmile.

Andsothegoddessofvictorysmiledlikeaqueen.Astheeveningsunsetinthe
clubroom,someonemadeasmallvictoryposeinthefadinglight.

5
Iassumethesurprisedreactionsareverydistinctiveinthisretromanga.
6
Anotherretromanga.

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Themomentofvictorypassedalltoosoon.Inthemidstofthatlingering
aftertaste(whichIwouldntevencallanaftertaste),IspokeuptotheUGClub.

Whetheryouloveitorhateit,youdontknowwhatsgonnahappenlifeisa
gameofluck.

Whetheryourdreamcametrueornotdependedonchance.Whetheryouwonor
lostalsodependedonchance.Source:Tottemo!Luckyman7.Therewasnorhyme
orreasontothegame.Whatwasupwiththat?Andthatwaswhy,well,whether
ornotZaimokuzasdreamcametruealsodependedonchance.

Iletoutashortsigh.Itsstilltoosoontogiveuponyourdreamordenyit,I
insistedasIsmiledatZaimokuzaandtheServiceClub.

Hikigayakun,saidYukinoshita.Thatsallwellandgood.Nowcouldyouplease
putonsomeclothesalready?

7
Ashonengagmanga.

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512

WhenwelefttheUGClub,alazybreezewasblowingfromtheopenhallway.My
shoulderswereridiculouslystiff,nodoubtfromstayingtenseforsolong.

Puttingmyhandonmyshoulderandtwistingmyneckmadeasatisfyingsound
forsure.Besideme,Yuigahamaletoutasatisfiedsighassheperformedabig
stretch.Yukinoshitastifledasmallyawn.

Um,sorry.

Goon,laughatus.

HatanoandSagamiloweredtheirheadstentativelywithasenseofhumility.The
factthattheycouldapologisestraightoutwasproofthattheirfeelingscamefrom
theheart.

SowhentheyheardZaimokuzasdelusions,therewasnodoubtthattheycould
nothelpbutsaysomething.Thatmighthaveonlyappliedforthem,buttheydid
seriouslyhearoutwhatZaimokuzahadtosayabouthisdream.Otherwise,they
wouldneverhaveshuthimdown.

Oh,butthatwasntthecaseforme.IthoughtZaimokuzawasacompletetool
fromthebottomofmyheartandthatwaswhyIshuthimdown.

Oh?Zaimokuzawasconfusedforamomentandthenburstoutintohamfisted
laughter.Aslongasyougetit!Now,now,justwaitafewyears.I,Zaimokuza
Yoshiteru,willunleashawonderfulgameintotheworldasapresent.

Zaimokuzasinflatedegosurewasannoying,butthetwoUGClubboysaccepted
eventhatwithalaugh.

Yep,werelookingforwardtoyourgame,SirMasterFencer.

Well,thecopyrightbelongstothecompany,soitsnotlikeitlljustbeyour
game,SirMasterFencer.

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Atthat,Zaimokuzaslaughtersuddenlydiedaway.Er,what?Whatdoyou
mean?hedemanded.

HatanoandSagamiexchangedglances.Thenpolitely,theyexplaineditforhimin
excruciatingdetail.

Whatyouwriteforacompanybecomesthebasicpropertyofthecompany.

Assuch,youhavejointCopyrightandthecompanyobtainstherights.

Yousignacontract,butIsupposemanywritersarefreelance.

Whenyouselloutyourownwork,youcannotreceivemorethantheinitial
amountofmoneyregardlessofwhobuysit.

Aareyouforreal?!Zaimokuzadroppedhisschoolbagwithathud.ThthenI
guessIllquityeah,Imdone.

ThisguyhejustturnedaroundandwentbacktosquareoneIIreallywanted
tobeathimup.

Rightnow,Iwasdesperatelyfightingtokeepmyfistfromslammingintohis
temple.TheUGClubwerealsogrimacingastheysmiledwithhalfbaked
sympathy,lookingfaintlyamazedanddisgusted.

Hmph,theresnopointifmyshareissmallevenifIlaunchabighit.Lightnovel
authorsarethebestafterall!IfIdecidemycourseonawhim,Icouldsetmyself
upforruin.ImusthurryandstartontheplotZaimokuzasaidashepickedup
hisbag.

Hisarmsfolded,hestartedmarchingoffrapidlywithlongstrides.

Faretheewell,Hachiman!

Withoutbotheringtorespondtothatverbally,Iliftedonehandandmadean
impatientsignalforhimtogetgoingalready.Hewavedbackatme,ahappyrayof
sunshine.

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wow,thatwasonlythemostpointlessthingtheServiceClubhasdonesinceits
inception.

Wow,thesepeopleareweird,Hatanosaid,lettingasighslip.

Iknow,right?Isaid.Iwouldntwanttobeseenwiththatguy.

Er,allofyousenpaiarequiteweird,thoughSagamisaidwithaslightlycold
expression.

Oi,you,Isaid.Whatchuyoulookinattheguywhosgotthemostcommon
sensehere,huh?

Inwhatculturalspherewouldyourideasbeconsideredcommonsense,I
wonder?Beingwithaweirdpersonlikeyouisexhausting,Yukinoshitadeclared
coolly.

Er,Yukinon,yourequitequirkyyourselfYuigahamalaughedsomewhat
sheepishlyasshelookedatYukinoshita.

Farfromgettingmadinresponse,asoft,gentlesmilecameoverYukinoshitas
lips.Indeed.NeitherHikigayakunnorIareparticularlynormalandupfront
people,sosoifanhonestpersonlikeyouwerewithus,Yuigahamasan,that
wouldbeagreathelpIthink.

Yukinoshitascheeks,illuminatedbytheafterglow,wereslightlyred.Yuigahama,
whowasstaringslackjawedatYukinoshitascheeks,slowlybutsurelybeganto
blubberwithjoy.HereyeswateredslightlyasshelatchedherselftoYukinoshitas
rightarm.

ookay!

Yukinoshitaletoutasoft,Notsoclosebutshemadenomovetoshake
Yuigahamaoffherarm,andsotheyremainedlikethat.

Anyway,letsgetbacktotheclubroom,IcalledouttothemasIwalkedahead
ofthem.YukinoshitaandYuigahamafollowedmeafewstepsbehind.

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Anyway,itwasagoodthingYukinoshitaandYuigahamahadgonebacktohow
theyusedtobe,Iguess

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Chapter6:HisandHerBeginningFinallyComestoanEnd

WhenIreturnedtotheclubroomandlookedoutthewindow,theeveningsun
wasslowlydescendingintotheTokyoBay.Adarkcurtainwasbeingpulled
towardstheeast,asifwashingawaythefaintindigoblue.

Butnowwhattodo,Iwonder?Ievenbakedacakeandeverything,
YukinoshitasaidwithasighasshelookedupattheskyjustasIwasdoing.

Shewasrightitwasjustabouttimeforschooltoendfortheday.Thebellwould
probablyringattheexactmomentwecutthecake.

InresponsetoYukinoshita,Yuigahamacockedherheadtothesidewithalookof
bafflementonherface.Cake?Whyacake?

Why,youask?Oh,Istillhaventtoldyouyet.Icalledyouheretodayto
celebrateyourbirthday,Yuigahamasan.

Huh?

Yuigahamasan,youhaventbeencomingtoclubactivitieslatelysoer,I
wantedtotellyoutokeepmakingasquareeffortthatsortofthing,ablushing
Yukinoshitasaidwithasmallcough.Ahem.Andalso,wellIsupposeyoucould
alsocallitatokenofmygratitude.

AsYukinoshitatrailedoff,Yuigahamajumptackledher.

Yukinon,yourememberedmybirthday.

Er,ratherthansayingsherememberedit,itwasmorelikeshejustguessedit
fromherphoneaddress.

ButYuigahamawasgraduallyfallingintoablissfuldaze,notcaringtoomuch
abouttheparticulars.

Butitseemsasiftodaywillnotdo,YukinoshitasaidasshetoreYuigahamaoff
herwithhercharacteristicawkwardness.

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Yuigahamaresistedsomewhat,butthenshehitherhandagainstherpalmasif
realisingsomething.Spottingherchance,Yukinoshitahastilyslippedawayfrom
Yuigahamasgrasp.

Thenletsgosomewhereelse,Yuigahamasaid.Outsideofschool.

Eh?Whenyousayoutside,doyoumean?Yukinoshitaflounderedalittleat
thesuddenproposal.

ButYuigahamareassuredherwithanow,nowandwinkedinawaythatallbut
saidleaveittome.Ibookedatimesomewherebeforehandandstuff,sono
worries,noworries.Imjustmorethanhappyyougotacakeforme.

Itsnotjustacake

DdonttellmeIgotapresenttoo?!YuigahamalookedatYukinoshitawith
sparklingeyes.YukinoshitahadonlyjustshutdownYuigahamashugs,but
Yuigahamahadalreadyclosedthedistanceonceagain.

Waryofbeingjumptackledagain,YukinoshitaansweredYuigahamasquestion.
Well,yesitsnotasifIwastheonlyonewhopreparedsomething,shesaidas
shesentmeasidewayglance.

Sothatmeans

ShehadprobablyguessedthemeaningbehindYukinoshitaswords.Yuigahama
musteredavague,troubledsmile.

Oh,hahaha.ItotallyneverthoughtHikkiwouldgetmeapresenttoo.Itsjust,
youknow,itsbeenkindaawkwardsincethatday.

Oureyesmet.Butthetwoofusbothavertedourgazes.

WhenYukinoshitawaswithus,shecouldpretendnottonoticetheawkwardness
andjustletthingshang.

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Butnowthatshewaspeeringatmeinquisitively,havingnoticedthatsomething
haddefinitelyhappened,Iwonderedhowtohurryupandgettheproblemover
with.Normally,shewascompletelydetached,butweirdlyenough,shechoseto
buttinnow.

Pullingoutasmallpackagefrommyschoolbag,Icasuallyflungitoverto
Yuigahama.

nah,itsnotlikeitsjustforyourbirthdayoranything,Imentioned.

Huh?

EvenasIstayedinthisstrangelystiflingatmosphere,juststutteringout
somethingwasenoughtomakethingsmoveinadefinitedirection.

Ididabitofthinking.HowdoIputit?Wellcallitevenwiththis,okay?Me
savingyourdog,youexpendingeffortovermethatsallwaterunderthe
bridge,ItoldYuigahama,andthenwithoutlookingatherreactionIwenton
withoutstoppingforbreath.Imean,therewasreallynoreasonforyoutolook
outforme.Igotcompensatedbytheinsurancecompanythepersonwhohitme
wasin,plusthelawyerandthedriverapparentlycameovertoapologise.Soyou
werenteveninthepicturetobeginwith.Samewithyourfeelingsofsympathyor
concern.

EverytimeIforcedawordoutifmymouth,anunbearablepressurecameover
me,asifanunseenhandhadseizeditsgriponmyheart.ButifIdidntsaymy
piece,thiswouldneverbeallowedtoend.

Besides,Yuigahama,itwasntlikeIsavedthedogbecauseofyou.

Foramoment,Yuigahamalookedatmewithdeepsadnessinhereyes,butthen
sheimmediatelycasthergazetothefloor.

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ItsnotlikeIgiveoutspecialfavours,sotheresnoneedforyoutogivemeone
inreturn.But,well,howdoIputit?Iwanttopayyoubackfortheworryingyou
havedoneoverme.Withthiswerebacktozeroandwereeven.Youdonthave
tocareaboutmeanymore.Sowellendthishere,Ifinished,lettingoutaheavy
sigh.

Mychestfelttight.

Ifeverythingcameoutintheopen,thenwecouldputanendtoeverything
includingthepainfulmisunderstandingsandthemisdirectedselfdefence
mechanisms.Perhapseventhiswasapainfulmisunderstandingandamisdirected
selfdefencemechanismtoo,though.

UnabletopeeratYuigahamasexpression,Icouldonlyseehertightlyclenched
mouth.

whydoyouhavetothinklikethat?IneveroncethoughtthatIthatIfeltsorry
foryouorthatIwasgoingoutofmywayforyouoranything.Ijust,I

Herquietwhisperingvoicewastrembling.YukinoshitaandIsimplylistenedtoher
insilence.Forthetwoofus,whopossessednoabilitytorespond,thatwasallwe
couldmanage.

Afaintdarknessloomedinthecorneroftheroom.Itwouldntbelongbeforethe
sunwasset.

Wow,thishasgottenhardandIdontreallygetitanymoreIthoughtitdbe
simplerthanthis

Yuigahamasvoicewasashademorecheerfulthanitwasbefore.Butbecauseshe
hadforcedthewordsoutofhermouth,theyfloatedintheair,asilentpleafor
help.

Itsnotashardasyoumaythink.

Yukinoshitastoodwithherbacktothesettingsun.Theseabreezeblewin
throughtheopenwindow,causingherhairtosway.

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Hikigayakunhasnorecollectionofhelpingyouout,andyouhavenorecollection
ofpityinghim,Yuigahamasanitwasallwrongfromtheverybeginning.

Well,yeah,Ianswered,andYukinoshitanodded.

Indeed.SoIbelieveHikigayakunschoicetoendthisherewascorrect.

Sincethebeginningwasallwrong,itstoodtoreasonthattheresultswouldbeall
wrongtoo.Nomatterwhatfeelingscameoverme,theanswerwouldcertainly
notchange.

Fake.Itwouldbethesameasthosefeelingsbeingfake.Evenifthosefeelings
weresomethingspecial.

Feelingsthatsproutedfromarandomaccident,becomingtheobjectofsympathy
thankstoselfsacrifice,lovethatcouldpossiblyhavebeenbornnomatterwho
savedherIcouldnotacknowledgeanyofthisastherealthing.

IfIhadsavedherwithoutknowingherforwhoshewas,thenshehadbeensaved
byme,notknowingmeforwhoIwas.Inthatcase,herfeelingsandgentleness
werenotdirectedtowardsme.Theyweredirectedatsomeonewhohadsaved
her.

ThatwaswhythelastthingIwantedwasamisunderstanding.

Iwasdonewithbeingselfishlyentitledandbeingselfishlydisappointed.

Iwouldntexpectanythingfromthestart,norwouldIexpectanything
afterwards.Iwouldnotexpectanything,eventothedayIdie.

Throughoutitall,Yuigahamakeptsilent,butafterawhileshemumbled
somethingforlornly.

ButtoendthingshereIdontwantit.

youfool.Ifitends,whynotstartoveragain?Neitherofyouareinthewrong.

Huh?Iaskedinadvertentlyinresponsetothoseunexpectedwords.

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Tothat,Yukinoshitaflickedherhairbehindhershoulder,acoolexpressiononher
face.

Regardlessofwhosavedwhom,youreequallyvictims,areyounot?Inthatcase,
yououghttopinitallontheinstigator.Andso

Yukinoshitacutoffherwordsmomentarily.Inthatbriefmoment,Yuigahamaand
Igazedateachother.

Youcanmakeaproper,freshstartitisnotbeyondthetwoofyou,
Yukinoshitasaidwithagentlebutalsoasomewhatlonelysmileonherlips.

Inthemidstofthesunsetglow,Ihadnowayofknowingwhatwasreflectedin
herhalfclosedeyes.

ImustreporttoHiratsukasenseithatwehavefilledthemembervacancy,
Yukinoshitasaidasifrememberingsomethingsuddenly,swingingaroundcurtly.

Yukinoshitasfootstepswerealittlemorerapidthanusual.Justlikethat,she
walkedouttheroomwithoutlookingoncebehindher.

NowonlyYuigahamaandIwereleft.IsupposeitwasagoodthingYukinoshita
managedtosaywhatshewantedtosay,butshereallydidnthavetoleaveus
withthisawkwardatmosphere.

Yuigahamapeeredatmesideways,lookingfortherighttimingonherown,and
thenshespoketome,asifgentlyproddingtoconfirmsomething.

Er,um,IIhopeIhaveagoodtimehere.

Withthosegenericlinesoutoftheway,sheloweredherheadwithabob.

Oh,okayIhadnoideawhatkindofgoodtimeshewastalkingabout.

Somethingstillnaggedatmesomehow.Itwaslikethatfeelingofbeingneedled
byYukinoshita.Arguingforarguingssakewasmyspecialty,buttothinkmytalent
wasstolenfromme

Asshelaughedinastrainedway,Yuigahamapokedmybackincessantly.

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hey,canIopenthis?

Dowhatyouwant.

NowthatIdalreadyhandeditovertoher,Yuigahamahadtherighttodo
whatevershewantedwithit.Still,sheinsistedonaskingformypermissionand
everything.Aftersheopenedthewrappingpapercarefully,hereyeswidenedand
asighslippedoutofher.

Whoa

Itwasstitchedtogetherwithmultiplestrandsofblackleatherandtherewasa
silvertaginthemiddle.Itwassupposedtolookgoodonbrownhair.Itwasquite
agoodchoiceifIdosaysomyself.Ihadntbeenforcedtobuypresentsfor
Komachisbirthdayforalltheselongyearsfornothing.Ihavequiteareputation
forbeingmylittlesisterslapdog.

Asifthemereknowledgeofmyexpertchoicewassatisfyingtoherinitself,
Yuigahamagazedatherpresentwitheyesoffondness.

Wwaitjustasec,Yuigahamasaidasshespunaroundandturnedherbackto
me.Threesecondsdidntevenpassasshetouchedthebackofherhairandlifted
herhead.Ththinkitlooksgoodonme?

Asshestoodbeforeme,avertinghereyesalittleembarrassedly,Icouldseethe
blackleatheradorningthewhiteskinonYuigahamasneck.Herbrownhairasit
reflectedtheeveningsuncontrastedagainsttheblackinawaythatwasrather
prettyandyes,itdidlookverygoodonher.

Still,thiswaskindofhardtosay,but

Ohwell,Iwasbetterofftellingherstraightoutwhenitcametosomethinglike
this.

Erum,thatsadogcollar,youknow

Still,Ihadtowonderwhyitlookedsogoodonher

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Huh?

Yuigahamaturnedbrightredbeforemyeyes.

Shescowled.Yyoushouldvesaidsobefore!Youmoron!Yuigahamayelledas
sheflungthewrappingpaperatme.

Er,couldshenottellbylookingatit?Well,whatever,shewasabletoadjustthe
size

Ugh,whateverImgonnaringuptheplaceweregoingto!

Asshehuffedwithanger,Yuigahamaflungoffthecollarandstormedoutofthe
classroom.Butwhensheopenedthedoor,shestoppedinhertracks.

thanks,doofus.Yuigahamashotherpartingwordsatmewithoutlookingin
mydirection,beforeslammingthedoorshut.Icouldntgetawordinsideways.

geez.

AsIletoutadeepandheavysigh,Ilookedaroundthewindowofthenow
desertedclassroom.Yukinoshitahadbeenstandingtherejustawhileago.

ItwasnteventwometresbetweenwhereYukinoshitahadbeenandtheseats
YuigahamaandIhadbeensittingon.Yetforsomereason,itwashardtocross
thatloomingdistance,andIcouldsenseanunseenlinedrawnthere.

Itwouldnotbelongbeforethetwoofusdiscoveredwhatexactlystoodbetween
usorrather,youcouldsay,thetruth.

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206
 Track 1

BonusTrack!BirthdaySongforYou

(ThisbonustrackisanovelisationoftheYahariOrenoSeishunLoveComewa
Machigatteiruvol.3limitededitiondramaCDscript.TheCDscriptcoversan
episodeaftertheeventsofvolume3.Werecommendyoureadandlistentothe
CDafteryoufinishreadingthisvolume.Weapologiseinadvanceforanyparts
thatsounddifferentfromthevoicesinthiseditedmanuscript.)

Birthdays.

Alongwithsignifyingthedayofyourbirth,itisadaythatgivesbirthtonew
trauma.

Forexample,birthdaypartieswhereyouretheonlyonenotinvited,orbirthday
songsthattouchyoubecauseyouthinkitssungforyou,onlyforyoutofindout
itwasforaclassmatewhohappenedtobebornonthesamedayasyou,or
birthdaycakeswhereyournameisspeltwrongonithangon,whatwasmy
motherdoingwiththatlastone?Howcouldshegetherownsonsnamewrong?

Thatbeingsaid,perhapsthereasonababycrieswhenitisbornisnotbecauseit
isdeeplymovedfrombeingbornintotheworld,butbecauseitisthefirsttimeit
experiencesthelonelinessofthisworldafterbeingseparatedfromitsmother.

Thus,onesbirthdayisthestartofloneliness.

Accordingtotheancients,aleopardneverchangesitsspots.

Assuch,spendingonesbirthdayaloneisthecorrectpathandhangingoutwith
friendsatbirthdaypartiesandsoforthisthewrongpathalthoughtheurgeto
celebrateforanotherpersonisnotsobad,Iguess.

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Track2

ThishappenedwhenI,HiratsukaShizuka,waswalkingdownthehallwayofthe
specialbuilding.Justahead,severalmetersaway,Ispottedahighschoolgirl
hummingcheerfullyasshewalkedalong.HernamewasYuigahamaYui.Shewas
normallyapeppygirl,buttodayhermannerseemedevenmorecheerfulthan
usual.

Mhmmmmhmmmmhmmm.

Heythere,Yuigahama,Icalledouttoher.Youseemtobeinhighspirits.
Somethinggoodmusthavehappenedforyoutobehumminginthehallway,
hm?

Shestopped.Ah,Hiratsukasensei,sheansweredwithawarmsmileonher
face.Ysee,itsmybirthdaytodayyouknowYukinon?Shesholdingabirthday
partyforme!

Abirthdayright,thatwasstillsomethingtolookforwardtoaroundherage,but
notsomuchwhenyouremyage.Atanyrate,shewashavingagoodtime.I
oughttocongratulateherproperly.

Still,theresnowayofknowingforsurewhethershecouldexpectthatkindof
sincerecongratulationswhenshegotaroundtomyage.

Ohhh,soitsyourbirthday,huh?Congrats.Themostimportantthingisyoure
gettingalongwiththoseothers.YoucanseesomedefinitegrowthinYukinoshita,
butontheotherhandIsighed.

Asinglemalehighschoolstudentcametomind.Yuigahamapursedherlipsand
smileduncertainly,asifshethoughtofthesamething.

ohhh.Er,uh,Hikkimightbeabadegg,buthecanbenicefromtimetotimeI
mean,hegotmeapresentandstuff.

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Iwasslackjawedatherreaction.Ohh?IdontrecallsayingHikigayasname
once.

Huh?!Donttellmethatwasatrickquestionjustnow!Yuigahamawas
flusteredandtakenaback.Itwasntatrickquestion,though.

Youcouldsayitwasaleadingquestion.Butwhatever.Speakingofthosetwo,
theyrelyonyou.Theyrenottheeasiesttogetalongwith,butIhopeyoutreat
themwell.

Heh.Isoundedabitlikeateacherrightthen,didntI?IthoughtasIlookedat
Yuigahama.

Oh,okayShelookedconfusedforamoment,andthensheletslipacareless
thought.Sensei,yourekindalikeamum.

Urk!Imnotthatold,youknow

Foramomentthere,ashockcameovermelikemyheartwasbeingassaulted
withabluntweapon.AsIfoughtvaliantlytokeepmyselffromstaggering,I
clenchedmyteethandsmiled.

Yuigahamabackpedalledhastily.Er,uh,thatsnotwhatImeantyoure,uh,like
amum?Thatkindofthing.Er,right,yourethemotherlytype!Youllmakeagood
mum,sensei!Aslongasyougetmarried!

Oof!Damn!Thedamageishighwhentheymeanwell

Whendrawingabladeforaquickstrike,themomentyouunsheathetheswordis
whentheopponentismostvulnerable.IfIhadnotdevisedabackupplanthrough
readingRurouniKenshin,Iwouldhavefallenfromthatblowjustnow,unableto
withstandit

Itsokay.Shewastryingtopraiseme.Notyetitwasstillnotyettimetogiveup!

Bebrave,Shizuka!

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AsIwasbracingmyself,Yuigahamaopenedhermouthasifshehadjustthought
ofsomething.Oh,right!Willyoucometothepartytoo,sensei?

Hmph.Iappreciatetheinvitation,butIllhavetopass.Ihaveanotherparty
today.

Youhavesomeoneelsesbirthdayparty,sensei?

NnotexactlyIcantblabtoherthatitsamarriagehuntingparty,Imuttered
thatsecondparttomyself.

Andbeforeshecouldaskmewhatkindofpartyitwas,Ichangedthesubject.

Aaanyway,whatistheguestofhonourdoingouthere?Arenttheyallwaiting
foryou?

Oh,right!Seeyoulater,sensei!

Mmm,goandhavefun.

OnceIfinishedwatchingYuigahamadashoff,Ilookedoutthewindowatthe
darkeningsky.

Isighed.Wontsomeonemarryme?

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 Track 3

Track3

Inthequietclassroom,YukinoshitaandIbothhadournosesstuckinabook.If
thatwasallweweredoing,itwouldhavebeentheusualscene.Whatmadeit
unusualanddifferentfromnormalwasthatwehadplansafterthis.

Hey,Yukinoshita.Clubactivitiesarecancelledfortoday,right?Meh,evenifthey
werent,IreckonIdjustbereadingabookanyway

Yukinoshitaflippedapagelightlyinherpaperbacknovelandansweredwithout
lookinginmydirection.Indeed.WerecelebratingYuigahamasansbirthday
afterthis,sowecantholdServiceClubactivitiestoday.Anycomplaints?

Nah,notreallyIactuallyfeelluckytohaveabreak.IamtrulygladYuigahama
wasbornintothisworld!Thankstoher,Idonthavetodoclubactivities.

IcanttellifthescaleofthisconversationislargeorsmallShesighed.As
usual,youaretheshallowesthumanbeinginexistence.

Yukinoshitaclosedherbookindisgust.Butifshewasdisgusted,sowasI.Youfail
tounderstand,Yukinoshita,mydear.Youfailtounderstand.

Fool,youshouldbesayingImdeep.

YoudratherIsayyouweredeep?Yukinoshitaaskeddubiously,justasI
expectedshewould.

Adeepriverhasfastcurrentsandyoucantseethebottom,soyoucantput
yourfootin.Ironically,thismeansthatI,whoamshallow,amagentleandopen
heartedpersonwithmyfeetsquarelyontheground,Isaid,chucklingwithabit
ofpride.

Yukinoshitalookedbewildered.Iwonderwhyitsalmostasifyourean
upstandingindividual.

IwonderwhyitsalmostasifyourenotsayingImanupstandingindividual

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Wasthatnotstrange?IthinkImquiteputtogether,thankyouverymuch.But
Yukinoshitacockedherheadslightly.

Hm?Theresnotonethingthatsupstandingaboutyou,isthere?

Whyareyoutiltingyourheadcutely?Theressuchagapbetweenthatandyour
nastywordsImgettingcognitivedissonance,Isaid.

Sorry,Yukinoshitaansweredunconcernedly.Lyingisnotpartofmy
personality.

Youreapologisingforthewrongthingnowyoulistenup!BesidesthefactI
havenofriendsorgirlfriend,mybasicspecsarehigh,Ideclaredonceagain.

Yukinoshitapressedherhandagainstherforeheadasifshehadaheadache.
Thatsafatalflawformostpeoplewell,whatever.Ialsoobjecttothe
prevailingwisdom.

Asyoushould.Sayingthatlotsoffriendsandagirlfriendarenecessaryisadenial
oftheself.Therearegeniuseswithzerofriendsthatsocietydeemsupstanding
andinfluential.Imean,evenyoudonthavefriends,andyourethenumberone
rankedgeniusgirlwhocandoeverything.

IIdohaveonefriendYukinoshitaarguedblushingly.

ThatonefriendshereferredtowasagirlIknewofaswell.

Ah,Yuigahama.Butyknow,friendsisapluralterm,sothatmeanshavingone
cannotsuffice.THEREFOREYOUDONTHAVEFRIENDS!

Splittingstrawsagain,Isee

JustasYukinoshitawasabouttomakefunofme,thedooroftheclubroom
opened.

Yahallo!Sooo,whatchutalkinabout?

ThepersonwhohadjustappearedwithadumbassgreetingwasYuigahamaYui.

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Whyhello,Yuigahamasan.Andoh,Hikigayakunisirredeemabletrashwhojust
saidhesanupstandingindividual.

Uponhearingthat,Yuigahamaclappedandburstintouproariouslaughter.
Ahahaha!Nooooway!

Dontjustshutmedowncalmdownforasec.Allowmetoexplainpointby
pointwhyIamupstanding.First,Ihaveaniceface.Plusonepoint.

Youreyesarerotten.Minusonepoint.

Andwow,whatathingtosayaboutyourself

Damn!Okay,soIminagoodschool.Plusonepoint.

Youmightbeheldbackayear.Minusonepoint,Yukinoshitasaidcoolly.

aahaha,Yuigahamalaughedanxiously.Imightnotbeonetotalk.Imon
probation.

Wwell,upuntilnowmyargumentswereabit,youknow.Youcouldsayitwas
relativelyabstractorthatalotofitwasmypersonalopinion.ThistimeIwould
exertmypersuasivepowersbypointingonlytothefactsandtotheabsolutes.

Thenhowaboutthis?Inthehumanitiescourse,ImrankedthirdinJapanese.
Plusonepoint!

However,withninepoints,yourelastinmaths.Minusonepoint.

Ohhhhhhhh.IgottwelvepointsImonprobation.Yuigahamawashalfin
tears.

Whatelse,whatelse?

NrrrghhhhaalsoIhavedeeploveformysister.

Butthatsjustbeingasiscon.

Thetwoofthemlookedatmewitheyesthatscreamed:pervertsshoulddie.

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Minustwopoints,saidYukinoshita.

Isyourgradingsystemrigged?!Shit!WhatelseIIgiveup.Nothingcomesto
mind

Ithoughthard,butIdrewacompleteblank.AsIlaboredovermyindecision,
Yukinoshitaturnedtomewithabenignsmile.

Youredone,Itakeit?Icouldthinkofmorethings.

Whachusay?

Soshehadmorebadthingstosayaboutmewhat,didshehaveaHeavens
MemoPadorsomething?1Yukinoshitasecretlyavertedhereyesandmurmured
somethingsoftly.

ForinstanceyoucelebratedYuigahamasansbirthdayproperly.Plusone
pointjustkidding.

Huh?Yousaidsomething?

Notreally,Yukinoshitadeflectedmyquestioncoollyasshestoodupfromher
seat.Nowthen,weoughttogetgoing.Iusedfruitsonthiscake.Wedbesteatit
whileitsfresh.

Oh,okay

YuigahamaandIstoodupfromourseatsafterher.

Yay!Cake!Yukinon,whatsortafruitsdidyouuse?!Watermelon?!

Ifwatermelonisthefirstthingyousay,asusualyouhavenoclueabout
cookingYukinoshitamuttered.

1
AreferencetothelightnovelseriesKamisamanoMemochou(lit.HeavensMemoPad).Inthisstory,
amateurdetectivessolvecrimeswithlimitedresourceandgeniusintellect.

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 Track 4

Track4

Welefttheclassroomandtrudgeddownthehallway.WhenIreachedthefirst
floor,IrememberedIdreceivedatextfromKomachi.

Sowherearewegoingfromhere?KomachiwantstocomesoIwannacallher.

Imfinewiththat.Yukinoshitanodded.

Thekaraokebarinfrontofthestation,Yuigahamaanswered.Theresfreetime
afterfiveoclockIrecommendit.

Okay,gotit.Illsendheratext.Butfreetime,huh?Ihatethatword.Some
deeplyunpleasantmemoriescametomind.

Huh?Why?Yuigahamaaskedconfusedly.Itsfree,yaknow?Youcandowhat
youwantthatsagoodthing.

Freedomisnotnecessarilyawonderfulthinginallcircumstances.Whenyoure
free,youreceivenocareorprotection,Yukinoshitasaidinhercharacteristic
way.

Inoddedalongtowhatshesaid.Shesright.Schooltrips,excursions,swimming
classmyoldselfwouldworryaboutwhattodowhenevertheysaiditwasfree
time.IhadnothingtodoatswimmingtimesoIswamtwowholekilometres.

Thatsbasicallyamarathon,saidYukinoshita.

Iknow,right?Iclearlysurpassedthelimitsoftheclassroom.Itsurewastough

Ilaughedbitterly.Duringtheschooltrip,allIhadtodowasshutupmeeklyand
walkthreestepsbehindtheothers,sothatwaslucky.

Youtainttheimageoftheidealwoman,Yukinoshitaremarked.

Aswewentallthewayuptotheentrance,talkingcrapnoonecaredabout,Igot
thevaguefeelingtherewassomeloudlaughterringingoutsomewhere.

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Mwahahahahahahaha!Hachiman!

oh,wasitmyimagination?

Butwhyarewedoingkaraokeagain?Iasked.

Eh?Hehhehhehhehheh,Hachiman

Huh?Theydontreallygetmadifyourenoisy,plusyoucanhaveasmanydrinks
asyouwant,saidYuigahama.

AhemahemHHachiman?Hellooooo?

Furthermore,Ihearyoucanbringincakesonbirthdayoccasions,said
Yukinoshita.

Thatsonlyifyouaskthebarowner,though,saidYuigahama.

Yukinoshita,YuigahamaandIcontinuedourconversationasifthatloudlaughter
frombeforereallywasjustourimagination.

Iseehey,Yuigahama,didyoudothebookingeventhoughyouretheone
havingabirthday?

Yukinoshitawinced.Iitcouldntbehelped.Ididntknowwhattodowiththis
sortofthing,yousee.

Ahhh,noneedtoworryonebit,yknow?Imean,ysee,Imreallyjustgladyoure
celebratingforme,andtothinkthatYukinonwouldrelyonmethatmademe
evenhappier.

Yuigahamasan

Teeheehee.

Thetwoofthemsmiledateachother,theircheeksflushedwithslight
embarrassment.

Justthen,somethingcutthroughtheairandviolentlyshookuptheground!A
blackshadow!

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 Track 4

JUSTAMOOOOOOMENT!DONTLEAVEMEHERE!

YukinoshitaandYuigahamabothcoweredawayfromtheviolentroar.SodidI,
whilewereatit.

Eeek!

Ahhh!

Whoa!Youscaredme!oh,itsyou,Zaimokuza.What,youwerehere?

Hewashere?Seriously?

Gorum!Gorum!Hecoughedunnaturally.BeforeyouaskmewhetherIwas
here,Imustactinsuchawaythatprovesmyexistence,hm?

Theoverlyaffectedexpressionsspewedoutofhismouth.Man,washeannoying.

Oh,quititwiththeannoyingcrap.Whatsup?Youwantsomething?I
demanded.

Zaimokuzafoldedhisarmspompously.Ahem.Ijustcameupwithanewlight
novelsetting,whichmeansIllbeniceandletyouhaveapeep.

Whyareyoukindalookingdownonme?Dontjustshowmethesettingorthe
plotbringmethewholemanuscript.

Bwahahahahaha!Nonsense,thesettingthistimeisenoughforathreecourse
meal!Nowthen,feastyoureyes!

Rightnow?Sorry,butIhavestufftodo.Howaboutnexttime?

WhenIoffhandedlyrefusedthesheafofpaperZaimokuzahandedovertome,he
startedmouthingoffwithafarawaylookinhiseyes.Harumph,dontyouknow
thesaying?Taketimebytheforelock.Itmeansdontrunaway

Pause.

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 Track 4

hm?Hey,Hachiman,ifitonlysaysforelock,doyousupposeyouremeantto
graspthehandorfoot?

Idunno,dontquotesayingsyoudontunderstandmeh,ifyouareinahurry,
getanonlinebulletinboardtocritiqueit.

ThatadviceIcannotfollow.Roflmaothisguyswritingsucksballstrollololololhe
aintgotnowritingtalentlol.Iftheotherwannabeswrotethataboutme,I
wouldchoosedeath.

Beforeworkingonyourliteraryskillsandideas,getathickskin,okay?Isaidin
gentleremonstration,promptedinstinctivelybyjusthowmuchofaloser
Zaimokuzawas.

Rightthen,Yukinoshitalookedupatmyface.Hey,Hikigayakun,whatisa
wannabe?

Ah,Idontknowthespecifics,butIhearthatswhattheycallaspiringlightnovel
authors.

Thereweremanytheoriesfloatingaround,butIdidhearitcamefromtheEnglish
Iwanttobe,whichwasthenshortenedtowannabe.ButIdidntknowthe
particulars.WhatIreallydidntknowwaswhyYuigahama,wholookedasifshe
didntgetiteither,letoutasighofadmiration.

Ehhhh,IthoughttheywereanimalsattheChibaZoo.

buttherearentanywallabiesintheChibaZoo,Isaid.

Yuigahamasan,youretalkingaboutthegiantkangaroos,Yukinoshitaanswered
seriously.

IIalreadyknowaboutthekangaroos!Yuigahamaarguedwitharedface.I
mean,like,thesmalleronesarethere!Imconfusingitwiththose!

youmeanthemeerkats,dontyou?

Thatsit!Shoot,Iwasclose!okay,nextquestion.

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 Track 4

Nah,youwerentclose,andwerenotdoingtheTransChibaUltraQuizeither.

Also,thesetwospentwaytoodamntimeatChibaZoo.Wooooow.

Eh!Whogivesadamnaboutmarsupials?!Zaimokuzastartedbeatinghishand
againsthismanuscriptinsistently.Ihavefaithinmyworkthistime!Imayhave
beencalledafilthywannabeuptillnow,butitsamatteroftimetillIdropthe
uselesspart

Inresponse,Yukinoshitaputahandonherchinandnoddedinadmiration.Isee.
Thenfromnowonyoushallbecalledfilth.

SothatswhatyouchooseImuttered.

Thecorrectanswerwastotakeoutthefilthyfromfilthywannabetomakeitjust
wannabe,Ibet.Anyway,evenifyougetridoftheuselesspart,yourestillstuck
withwannabe

ButZaimokuzalaughedfearlesslyandwithtotalconfidence.Heh,youllseeas
soonasyoureadithmm?Bytheway,Hachiman,justwhatbusinessdoyou
havetoday?

Hm?Ah,itsYuigahamasbirthday,sotheresalightcelebration.

What?!Herdayofbirth?!CcouldthatperhapsbethatthingtheycallBIRTHDAY
inEnglish?

Yeah,Iguess.NotthattherewasanyneedtosaythatinEnglish.

Inresponse,Zaimokuzaopenedhismouth,tremblingalloverwithemotion.Ohh,
sotheoldlegendwastrue,huhthedayapersonturnsseventeen,theMaster
FencerGeneralwillalsocomerunningwithwellwishes

Whatacreepyreaction,though

Yuigahamapulledonmeforcefullyandcoweredbehindmeashershield.

Theoldladiesgocrazywhentheyhearaboutbirthdays.Well,thatscosChiba
citizensareconsciousaboutbirthdays.

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 Track 4

Reallynow?Iveneverpaidmuchattention.Yukinoshitatiltedherheadin
puzzlement.

Uh,inChibamiddleschools,theseatnumbersareorderedbybirthdays,I
answered.

Ahhh!Yeah,theywere!Yuigahamainterjectedinagreement.Iwassurprisedin
highschoolwhentheyswitchedtoalphabeticalorder.

Youreright.Itseemsrareforadateofbirthordertobeusednationwide.

Indeed,indeed.Andsoitispossiblefortragediestooccur

Whatsthisallofasudden,Zaimokuza?

Zaimokuzasknowitallexpressionsuddenlyturneddark.

thedaybeforetheyallcelebratedtheguyinfrontofme,andthreedayslater
theydidtheguybehindme

Ahhhh,Igetitnow,Isaid.

Theyignoredyouspectacularly,Isee,Yukinoshitasaid.

Yeah,thatkindofthingdidhappenwhenpeoplehadtheirbirthdaysduring
schooltime.Seeingasmybirthdaywasduringsummervacation,Ineverhadthat
kindofexperience.SoIacknowledgeditopenly.WhenIthinkaboutit,Chiba
sureisaharshprefectureforloners.

Oho,whatswiththatnotmyproblemlook,Hachiman?

Hikigayakunissurroundedsolelybystrangers,sonothingiseverhisproblem,
saidYukinoshita.

Whyareyousayingthatwithakindanicesmile?Idontwanttohearitfrom
you.Youretheonewhoregardseveryoneasastranger,Iretortedtothe
grinningYukinoshita.

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 Track 4

Thispromptedhertoflickherhairandassumeaselfassuredexpression.Indeed.
Iamsurroundedonlybystrang

Huuuuuh?!AcrestfallenYuigahamaproddedYukinoshitasbackincessantly.

Yuigahamasan,couldyoupleasestopproddingmyback?

ThatdidntstopYuigahama.NrrgghhhShewentonwiththeproddingwitha
sullenface.

Yukinoshitaletoutashortcough,asifunabletostanditanylonger.Hrmm,Ill
correctmyself.Theremaybetheoddexception,butmostarestrangers.

Yukinon!YuigahamaflewatYukinoshitawithatackle.

YourestiflingmeYukinogasped,hervoiceacomplicatedmixofhalfgloomy
andhalfdelighted.

Asallofthiswasgoingon,IutteredfarewellgreetingstoZaimokuza.Zaimokuza,
thatshowitis,sotodaysanogo.Nexttime,okay?

Thethreeofusstartedwalkingagain,leavingZaimokuzabehind.

Butasetoffootstepssoundedrightbehindus.

Hmm,achancemeeting.TodayitjustsohappensthatI,too,havenoplans
whatsoever

Isee.Itsnicetohavefreetimehey,whyareyoufollowingus?Isaid,knowing
fullwellthemeaningbehindhisacting,butZaimokuzapretendednottohearit.

Freetiiiiiiiime,ahh,freetiiiiiiime.SinceIhavefreetime,Icantakeadetouror
something.Dearme,thatremindsme,whwhereareyougoing,youguys?

Frontofthestation.

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 Track 4

Ohmy!whatacoincidence.Iwasjustpassingthroughthestationontheway
hometoday.PerhapsthisisfateIsee,sothatisthechoiceofthisworld1

Hmph

Hislittleplayactwasannoying,soIignoredhim.

Ashewasindeepthought,Zaimokuzakeptthrowingsideglancesinmydirection.
Then,lookingeversoslightlydisgusted,Yuigahamawhisperedsomething
stealthilyintomyear.

Hey,Hikki,aboutChuuni.

Chuuni,yousaythatsyournicknameforZaimokuza?

Bitmean,wasntit?ButYuigahamawentontalking,notlookingoverly
concerned.

Um,yeah?Hey,aboutChuuni,doeshewantustoinvitehim?

Yeah,Imawareofthat,Ianswered,but

Youredoingitinfullawareness,IseeYukinoshitashruggedandsighed.
Yuigahamasan,youareallowedtoinvitehimaslongasyoureokaywithit
yourself,youknow?Hellbeinclinedtogiveupratherthanfollowusaround
forever.

Hmm,whattodo?Imused.

Butifyoudoinvitehim,youllhavetoputupwithhimallday.

Areyoumymother?Afterthat,IturnedtoYuigahama.Hey,Yuigahama,can
weinvitehim?Iasked.

Yuigahamagavethatsomethought.Umm,wellitsnotlikeIdontknowhim,
andhesHikkisfriendokay,sure.

1
ThisisaJapaneseinternetmeme,oftenusedasahammyreactiontodepressingnewsstories.Itis
usedmostprevalentlybychuunis.

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 Track 4

Thanks.Meh,notthathesmyfriend,though.

Right,hesnotyourfriendYuigahamasmiledawkwardly,herexpression
neithersurprisednorbaffled.

TurningmybackonYuigahama,IspoketoZaimokuza.Zaimokuza,youcoming
too?ToYuigahamasbirthdayparty.

Hmmm?No,butIamalsobeingchasedmymentaldeadlineschasemeintoa
sceneofcarnage,andyetitwouldberudetodeclineyourinvitation,however.
Nowthen,shallwewalktogether?

ShitIwannapunchhim

Ihadnoideajustwhyhewassostuckup.Asusual,heonlytalkedbig.
Characteristicallyenough,Yukinoshitaseyeswerealsoseethingwithacasual
desireforhisblood.ThisisfarmoreirritatingthanIimagined

Wwell,Imhappyhowlotsofpeoplearecelebratingforme,Yuigahamasaid.

Youdonthavetostrainyourself,Isaid.

Yuigahamalaughed,tryingtofooluswithallhermight.Ah,ahahahahahahaoh,
theresSaichan.

Wwhat,Totsuka,yousay?!Ooi,Yuigahama.Yourehappyhowlotsofpeople
arecelebratingforyou,right?!Right?!

Eh?Well,yeah,buthey,whereareyougoing?!

IalmostcouldnthearYuigahamassuspiciousquestionatall;Iwassprintingat
superspeedlikeacombatbutler,sofastIbrokemypersonalrecord2.

HetookoffsofastYukinoshitasaid.

Totsukaaaaaaa!IitsYuigahamasbirthdaytodayandwwerehavingabitofa
celebration,soyouwwannacccomewithus?

2
LikeacombatbutlerisareferencetoHayatenoGotoku.

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 Track 4

Asmyvoicerangout,IcouldhaveswornIheardZaimokuzasvoicebehindme.

Uh.Whaaaat?Isntyourreactiontotallydifferentfromhowitwaswithmeeeee?
Hey,hey,whataboutmeeeeeee?

224
 Track 5

Track5

Duringtheevening,carsandpeoplecameandwentfromthestation,andthedin
wasreachingitspeak.Thefiveofuswalkedthroughallofthishustleandbustle.

Mybad,Totsuka.LookslikeIpushedyouintocoming.

Ohno,notatall.IwasthinkingofgettingapresentforYuigahamasantoo.Plus,
Iwasreallyhappythatyouinvitedme,Hachiman.

Iwastotallyintearsfromhisexcessivecuteness.

BoohoohooImreallyhappythatyoucamethuh!Nonono,Totsukamight
bethiscute,buthesaguy.Staycool,dontgetdistracted,HikigayaHachiman.
Calmdownandembracethefeelingsofamonk.Dontlosetotemptation.I
breathedinandoutslowly.Keepyourspiritundercontrol.Noneedforwomen
onthepathtoBuddha,noneedforwomenonthepathtoBuddhawait,
Totsukasaguy,sotheresnopoint!Icantbeamonk!

Whatidioticthingsareyoumumblingabout?Wevereachedthekaraokebar.

AsYukinoshitascoldvoicedraggedmebacktoreality,wearrivedatthe
destination.

Karaokeisoneofthemajoraspectsofahighschoolstudentsleisuretime.
Studentscannotbeseparatedfromtheirsinginginthefirstplace.

Forinstance,choruscontests.Andwait,whydoriajuufightoverpracticingfor
choruscontests?

Boysneversingproperly!agirlwillcryonehundredpercentofthetime.Then
thewholeclasswillchaseafterhim.Itsatemplateeventforyoungpeople,one
thatsnothardtounderstand.

Butbehindthescenes

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 Track 5

Mygosh,whysAkosuddenlycrying1?Rofl.

Nah,ImlessroflingandmorelikekindapissedIcame.

Iknow,right!costhatgirlwantedtohogthemic.

yaknooooow,isntshetakingawhiletocomeback?Shouldwegoseeher?

Ahhhh,youmeanthatperson.Theonewhosaidwedallgotogether?Whoa,
arentwetotallylivingoutouryouthrightnow?

Thatkindofconversationwenton.Maaan,theyreallytalkedalotabouthow
muchtheycelebratedtheiryouths!Wonderful!

Theautomateddooropened,andIwasgreetedwiththetalkativeatmosphere
insidethebar.

Ah,oniichan.

Komachi,whowassittingonthesofaandwhohadprobablyarrivedaheadofus,
spottedusanddashedovertowherewewere.

Ohhh,Komachi,Isaid.Yougothereearlier?

Yahoo,Komachichan,saidYuigahama.

Hithere,thankyoueversomuchforinvitingme.

No,thankyou.Thankssomuchforcoming.

Nono,Yuisan.WhenIheardyouwerehavingapartyIjusthadtocome.

Asthetwoofthemexchangedgreetings,Yuigahamaletoutadeepsighof
admiration.Komachichan,youresoniceIbetitdbefuntohavealittlesislike
youKomachichan,wontyoubemylittlesister?Er,nnotlikethatofcourse.

Ffool!Wwhatareyousaying,hmm?!Iexclaimed.Komachiismysisteronly.
Nooneshavingher.

1
koisoftenpartofgirlsnames,soAkomeanssomethinglikeGirlA.

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ThelastthingIwoulddoishandherovertoanyone.

HissisconisshowingThistime,Yuigahamasighedinaverydifferentmanner
frombefore.

Isincerelyapologiseformybrother...

Dontworry,itsnotreallyyourfault,Komachichan

Hmph,IgotthefeelingIwasthevillainhere.Timetowithdrawfornow.

Anyway,westillhaventgonetothefrontdesk.Illgothereforabit.

AsIstartedwalking,Icouldhearsomekindofvoicebehindme,butitwasmixed
withtheBGM.

IIllcometoo!Yuigahamasaid.

Hmph,thenIshallgoaswell,saidZaimokuza.ReasonbeingthatIhaveno
placeIbelongrightnow!

wow,whatasadreasontointerruptthetwoofus,Yuigahamamuttered.

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Track6

Awwyessssss.Someweirdomightvefollowedthem,butfornowIbreatheda
sighofreliefatseeingYuisantrysohard.

Whenoniichanandtheotherswenttothefrontdesk,Yukinosancameuptome
andstartedtalking.Komachisan,youhelpedusouttheotherday.Thankyou.

No,no.Itsbecauseyouasked,Yukinosan.Mybrothersalwayscausingyou
trouble,soIllhelpoutwheneverifyoureokaywithme.

Weeeell,ImighthavesaidIdhelpherout,butasfarasImconcerned,its
anotherkindofhelping,eheheh.

Whatareyoutalkingabout?Totsukasanwasashopelesslycuteaseverhe
lookedsuperinterested,toobutoh,ImustntImustnt.

Oh,theotherdayYukinosan,oniichanandIwentshoppingforapresentfor
Yuigahamasan.

Ahh,Isee.Thatsoundsfun.Ireallywanttogooutwitheveryonetoo

Thatsright!butIgetthefeelingoniichanwouldbethehappieronegoingout
withyouahhh!OniichansgoinginastrangedirectionImworried!

Like,whatwasseriouslyworryingwasthatwheneveroniichantalkedabout
schoolathome,hedtalkaheapaboutTotsukasan,totheextenthedmadea
TodaysTotsukacorner.

Idontunderstandverywell,butyouhaveittoughtoo,Yukinoshitasaid.My
sympathies

Nowthatwevecomethisfar,ImstrugglingbetweenYukinosanandYuisan

Yukinosantreatedhimasatotalstranger,butsheseemedtohaveexpectations
ofme?

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YuigahamasanandI?whatdoyoumean?Idontputmuchstockintocorporal
punishment.

Imverysorry.Illpicktheroutewithoutviolence.

Right.Crushinghisspiritismoremyforte.

Eeventhoughyousaythatwithsuchawonderfulsmile,Imconflicted

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Track7

Atthefrontdesk,theowneroperatedthetillforus.

Yuigahamasansreservation,wasit?Yourroomisnumber208.Themicand
remotecontrolareinyourroom.Whenyourtimeisrunningout,Iwillphoneyou
toletyouknow.

Allright,thankyousomuch.

AsYuigahamatookthebasketwiththesalesslipinside,Zaimokuzastartedtalking
tome.

Hey,Hachiman.

Huh?What?

Thatwasyoursisterbefore,wasitnot?

Yeah,itwas

Somehow,Ihadabadfeelingaboutwherethiswasgoing

Isee.Bytheway,Brother,whatmayyourlittlesistersnamebe?Also,herage
andhobbiesindetail.

Imnotbreathingaword.Also,nexttimeyoucallmeBrotherIllpunchyou.

Hmph.Howcold,bro.

Broisforbiddentoo!

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Track8

Afterreservingbeveragesatthedrinkcorner,wefinallyenteredthekaraoke
room,eachholdingourglasses.

Asifratherworriedthatwewouldntgetstarted,Totsukaraisedhisglasshighin
theair.

Umookay.Yuigahamasan.Happybirthday!

Tomatchthat,weallperformedatoastandraisedourglassesinsuit.

Happybirthday!

Happybirthdaytoyou!

Hmph,happynewyear.

Um,thatmightbeagreeting,butnotabirthdaygreeting

Yukinoshita,KomachiandZaimokuzautteredcongratulatorymessagestofollow,
towhichtodaysleadingactor,YuigahamaYui,raisedherarmandresponded.
Thankyou,guys!NowIllblowoutthecandles.Whooo.

Yay!WhenYuigahamablewoutthecandles,weraisedourglassesintoast
again.Thenweendedupclapping.Veryfittingforabirthday.

Then,therewassilenceforawhile

Huh?!Whwhatswiththisatmosphere?!Yuigahamalookedaroundher
surroundingswithsurprise.

Komachiwasalsomakingasourface.Itslikewejustspentawholenight
watchingoveradeadbody

ButYukinoshitaandIdealtwiththesilencecalmly.

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Ah,Imnotusedtothissortofthing,shesaid.

Ihavenoideawhattodoatbirthdaypartiesandgatherings,soImnotgoodat
handlingit,Isaid.

Iferventlyagree,saidZaimokuza.Bysomemystery,Ihaveneverbeeninvited
toagathering.

Besidesthatonetime,IcantsayIveeverbeen,Isaidnormallyinan
unconcernedtone.

Forsomereason,Zaimokuzaconfirmedhisvictorywithaloudlaugh.
Mwahahahahaha!Youresoweak!Behappyyouevengotinvitedonce!Thats
hardlyverylonerish!

Whatchusay?!Sinceyoudontseemtounderstand,Illfillyouin.Iwasinvited
becausethewholeclasswasobligatedtogo.Plus,sinceIwasneverinviteda
secondtime,Imusthavemadesomefatalmistake,right?Youveneverbeen
once,sothepossibilityofhavingfunstillremainsforyou.Imonestepaheadof
you!

Whwhat?!Urk,cantbeataprofessionalloner

WhatanunsightlysquabbleIhavebeeninvitedeverytime,butnotoncehaveI
evergone.Isupposethisismyvictory,then?

Urkthisgirlscompetitive!

Ihadnoideawherethebasisforcompetitionwasinthisconversation,but
Yukinoshitaappearedtohavethevictory.

Perceivingthestrangeatmosphere,Totsukacutin.Wwell,sincewereata
birthdaypartyandeverything,letstalkaboutsomethingfun,okay?Right,
Yuigahamasan?

Eh?Ah,Imhavingquiteabitoffunhere.Sincenooneseverdonesomuchfor
mybirthdaypartiestillnow,Imreallyhappy

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Yuigahamawasactuallyhappy.Thehappinessslowlyspreadacrossherfaceanda
serenesmileplayedonherlips.

Whatasurprise,Isaid.IthoughtyouwereaJuicy!Party!Yeah!typeallyear
round.

WhatswiththeincomprehensibleEnglish?Wait,isthatevenEnglish?
Yuigahamawonderedaloud.

Uh,IdunnoifitsEnglisharentyoumissingMiuraandtheothersgirlslike
her?Iasked.

Yuigahamastrokedherchininthought.Hmm,itsnotlikeIdidnthavethe
opportunity,buttheyonlycametocongratulatemeandtherewerelotsofpeople
slippingoutthebackdoorandwhentheyrealisedthefoodwasgonetheparty
wouldjustend

Iseehowitisah,um,sorry.

Itwasasadstory.WhenIapologisedreflexively,Yuigahamaalsoloweredher
eyesindiscomfort.

Ah,mmm.Idontreallymind.

Asthetwoofusfellintosilence,Komachiopenedhermouthwithastrainedsmile
onherface.

anditslikewejustspentanothernightwatchingoveradeadbodyIcant
standitanymore!Yuisan,letsjustdrinkcolafornow!

Ah,rright!

Yeah!

KomachiandYuigahamaheldatoastjustthetwoofthembringingoutalight
atmosphere.

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Iletoutaninadvertentsighinthemidstofthat.

Tobeperfectlyhonest,thesetypesofgatheringsarenotmyforte.

YoucouldsayImnotusedtoitsinceImnotinvitedtogatheringsandclass
meetings,butIsimplycanthelpbutfeelsuspicious.Lookstomethateveryone
doestheactofraisingtheirvoicesinunisonandliftingeachothersspiritswithall
theirmight.Ibetmaleandfemaleriajuuwouldnthelpbecominganxiousifthey
didntmakeanoise.Iftheywerequiet,theydberecognisedfortheboring
peopletheywere.

Thatswhytheyforcedthemselvestotalk,broadenedthetopicandrousedeach
otherupexaggeratedly.Iftheypuffedthemselvesupanymore,theydbelike
menaces.

Isighed.

Hachiman?Whatswrong?Youresighingsomuch.Totsukapeeredatmyface.

Oh,uhhh.Nah,Imean,whatswiththisparty?Intheend,IdontknowwhatIm
supposedtodo.

Er,ummmyoueatfood,haveatoast,partytricks?andthencutthecake1?

Thatsaweddingceremony

Ahahaha,soitis.Butthecelebratingpartisthesame.Hepaused.Sothen
shallwecutthecake?

myfirsttimeteamingupwithSaika.

Iputonadeterminedfacewithoutthinking.

HHachimaniitsmeantosaymyfirstnamesosuddenly

Stooop,okaaay,stop.Iwillbetheonetocutthecake,Yuigahamacutin
betweenussuddenly.Thankstothat,Iregainedmysenses.

1
TheJapanesewordexplicitlyreferstocuttingtheweddingcake.

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huh!Howclose!TheimageofTotsukainaweddingdresswasflickeringinthe
backofmymindjustnowhowweird.Totsukasaboy,afterall.

uh,thatisreallyweirdandalsogross.

IsmiledlightlyatYuigahamasutterdismissal.Itisstrange,Iknow.Itisntgross,
though.Totsukasaboysoheshouldbeinatuxedo!

Youredeadsetonmarryinghim?!

Andatthatmoment,aviolentbangingsoundrangoutagainsttheceiling.

Whoa,thatwasashock!See,Yuigahama,ifyouraiseyourvoice,thepeoplenext
doorwillgetmad.

Ah,sorryhowweird,thisroomissoundproofwell,whatever,Yuigahama
grumbledasshebrandishedtheknifeshehadborrowedfromthekitchen.O
okayIllcutthecake.HHikki,couldyouholdtheplatestill?Ththeresnoreal
meaningaboutusbeingtogetheroranything.

ShemumbledthesecondhalfsoIcouldnthearitatall.AreyoulikemewhenIgo
tothehairsalonandgetaskedwhathairstyleIwant?Spititout,woman.

Nah,itsyourbirthdaytodaysoyououghttotakeiteasy.TotsukaandIllcutit
foryou.

Eh.Eh.ThthatwouldbebadforSaichan

Youdontthinkitwouldbebadforme?AllrightKomachi.

Ehhhhh?MakingmecutaftersayingallthatkindalowersmyKomachipoints.Its
okayifitsjustthetwoofusathome,butImshy.Ah,myKomachipointswentup
thistime.

shutup.Okay,Zaimokuza.

AndthusitwastimeformetorelyonZaimokuza.

ugh.Yuigahamapulledareallysourface.

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Uh,thatreactionkindofmakesmefeelsorryforhim.

AsIresistedthemildurgeforsympathy,Zaimokuzaclutchedhischestand
grimacedinpainnexttome.

ooof.Mysealeddoorhasbeenopened!Indeed,Iwentthroughmilitary
trainingwhenIwasstillinanormalelementaryschool.Bystrangechance,whenI
volunteeredasarationsboy,theloneValkyrietearfullyrefusedthecurryIserved
up

Looksee,thankstoyoustimulatinghistrauma,hischaracterstartedblurring

Ah,IImnotreallythatrepulsed,itsjust,youknow.Iwantyoutogotothe
toiletorsomething.

Gaaaaah!

AsYuigahamapiercedZaimokuzaandbroughthimtoastandstill,Yukinoshitalet
outashortsighandpickedupthekitchenknife,allthewhilelookingat
Zaimokuzasmannerismswithadisgustedmannerofherown.

Illcutit.Imgoodatcutting.

Ah,youdoseemgoodatcuttingcuttingoffpeoplewithyourimpatience.

Isntthatyourforte?Gettingcut,Imean.

Whyareyousayingitasapassiveverbonme?Andanyway,ImaBuddhist.Im
aimingtocutoffmyearthlyexistenceandbecomeBuddha.FromaBuddhist
perspective,mystandingisveryhigh.

AgainwiththehalfbakedBuddhistknowledgeAtitsheart,Buddhismisnota
religionthatisconcernedwithlines.Buddhapreachestheconceptofdirect
cause.

Yukipediasanhascomeout.

Whatswiththatfishynickname?Well,whatever.Moreimportantly,were
cuttingthecakeintopieces,soholdontotheplate.

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Yesm,Isaid,asIheldontotheplategingerly.

AtwhichpointYuigahamastoppedus,hermannerdisconcerted.Hholdona
sec!Illdothispartafterall!Pplus,HikkiandYukinondoingtheworktogether
is

Icouldbarelyhearthesecondpartofwhatshesaid.AreyoulikemewhenIm
stoppedbythepoliceafterridingmybicycletogetmylackofcriminalrecord
checkedout?Spititout,woman.

Bethatasitmay,Yukinoshitalookedperplexed,asifshehadheardwhat
Yuigahamahadsaid.Hm?Really?shewentonspeaking.Thenbyallmeans
please.

Oh,yay!Yep,yep,Illdoit.

Rightthen,Yuigahamasan,pleaseholdthisplatestillforme.

YukinonandIareworkingtogether?!OhhhhhhIvegotmixedfeelings.

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Track9

Yukinoshitasunkthekitchenknifeintothecake.

ThosesixslicesofyoursareneatIsaid.

Notreally.Itsnothingtoospecial.Yukinoshitaplacedthecarefullycutcakein
frontofuscalmly.

Whoa,itreallyis.Yukinon,areyouaTypeA?Yuigahamaaskedwithlight
surprise,hereyesonYukinoshita.

Wheredidthatcomefrom?

Ah,Imeanyouresomethodical.

IwouldntsayYukinoshitasmethodical,Isaid.Shesfastidiousanda
perfectionistthatkindofthing.

Howridiculouswhatisthecausallinkbetweenbloodtypeandpersonality?

Lookinglessthanenthusedwithbloodtypehoroscopes,Yukinoshitaexudedher
particularicyaura.ThatwascounteractedbyTotsukaswarmvoice.

Ah,butImaTypeA,youknow.Imkindafixatedbysmalldetails,Iguess

Isee.Totsuka,youwillmakeafinebrideoneday.

Qquitteasingme,HachimanTotsukablushedbrightred.

Yukinoshita,whowasrightnexttoTotsuka,turnedhercoldgazeonme.Notthat
itmatters,butIthinkyoutreatmequitedifferently

Man,thedifferenceintemperaturewasextreme.Wasthisroomaselfcontained
desertclimate?

TheonewhobrokethemoodwasourresidentmoodbreakerZaimokuzasan.

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Harumph,itisnotnecessarilyuntrue.ItissaidthatTypeABshavetwodifferent
personalities,butitisstrangetosayitaloud.AsIspeak,myotherselfmay
awakenatanymomentkuuuuh!Notnow!Staydown,myrighthand!

Couldyoupleasetakeyoursillydiversionsoutside?Yukinoshitasaid.
Yuigahamasan,whattypewereyouagain?

Me?ImaTypeO,Yuigahamaanswered.

Komachihitherhandagainstherpalmasifshewereagreeingwithsomething.
YoureawishywashyOhType!

Whatswiththepun?ThenwhataboutanEhType?

OhdearifYuigahamasanisaTypeO,thenthebloodtypehoroscopeis
showingitscredibility.

Hey,wai!AmIthatwishywashy?!

Yuisan,itsokay,saidKomachi.ImaTypeOtoo.

Whatareyougoingbywhenyousayitsokay?

Eh?Icouldgiveherabloodtransfusionorsomething.

Yukinoshitashudderedatthewaveofwishywashiness.Itfitsthecredibilityis
gettinghigher

Sowhatsyourbloodtype,Yukinosan?SoyouareaTypeA?Komachiasked.

ImaTypeB,Yukinoshitaansweredreadily.

Ah.NowIbelieveinbloodtypehoroscopes,Isaid.

Whatareyouimplying?

Ah,itsjustthatyouwanttodoeverythingyourwayandyoureegoisticaland
youresooooverbearing.Iagreedwithit.

Bythatlogic,youmustbeaTypeBaswell.

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MybroisaTypeA,youknow?Komachisaid.

Theairintheroominstantlyfrozeover.

Huh?

Whaaaaaa?!

Oi,Igetthefeelingyoursurprisedoesntbodewellforme.

WHOOOOOOOA!HHachimanisaTypeEHHHHHHHHHH?!Noway,itcannotbe!
TothinkthisirresponsibleslackeranduncooperativelonerisaTypeA!Nomatter
howyoulookatit,youhavenoneofthequalitiesofahumblefarmer,thankyou
verymuch.

ShitIwannapunchhim

AsIrestrainedmyrightfistfromconnectingwithZaimokuzaschin,adismayed
Totsukaopenedhismouth.Ssorry.HachimanImabitsurprisedtoo,Iguess.

TTotsukaIhalfsobbedwithoutthinking.

Ah,bbutifsomethingbaddoeshappen,Icangiveyoumyblood!

TTotsukaaaa!Icriedoutinjoywithoutthinking.

Rightthen,IwasnttheonlyonewhowaspleasedYukinoshitawasalsosmiling
withamodestamountofjoy.Whatarelief.ThankstoHikigayakun,Ican
completelydenybloodtypehoroscopes.

LikeIsaid,stopsayingthatwithakindanicesmile.Youwoundme!

Oh,Imsosorrythereisperhapsapossibilitythatyouhaveacomplicated
familysituationandthatyouarelyingaboutyourbloodtype.Imighthavebeen
imprudent.Iapologise.Yukinoshitalaidthebelligerenceonthickwithher
apology.

Dontsaythatstuffinfrontofmybloodrelatedsister.IfIdidntknowshewas
bloodrelated,Idontknowwhatwouldhappen,okay.

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Thefactthatshewasmybloodrelatedsisterwasasafeguard,butifshewasnt,
thelovemightcomepouringoutofme,seriously.Asifthosefeelingshadgotten
acrosstoher,Yuigahamareactedasifshehadbeensinged.

Thatsnotjustasiscon,thatsasexualdeviant!shewailed.

Well,asfarasImconcerned,thatspartofthedeal,saidKomachi.Ah,that
mightvemademyKomachipointsgoup?

Yoursocietypointsgowaydown!Thisgirlsalsokindaloony!Theyreallyare
siblings!

See,ourbloodtypesaredifferentbutourpersonalitiesarerelativelyclose.So
itsgottodowithourupbringing,donchathink?

Right,right,webothlikeceleryandenduphoggingit.

Also,webothdislikedsummerandwebothtriedtocompromise.

Whatkindofupbringingwouldturnoutlikethis?Idliketomeetyourparents
justonce

Pleasedo!IfIintroduceyou,Yukinosanourparentswillcrytearsofjoy,
Komachichirped,hercheerfulnesscompletelyoverblown.

Yukinoshitatiltedherheadinconfusion.Hm?Whywouldthatbe?

Huh,whyyouask?Becauseyoureoniichans

WhataboutHikigayakun?

hrm,itsnothinghowweird,thatdidnttriggeraflag!Komachisaid
somethingunderherbreath.

Butinresponse,Yuigahamacoughedasiftryingtosteertheconversation.
Aheeeem,ah,Ikindawanttomeetthemtoo.IIguess.

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Atthatinstant,Komachiseyescamealightwithaping.Yuisan,byallmeans
comeovertohangoutsometime!Itshappening,itshappening!shesangunder
herbreath.

Ookay!

KomachiandYuigahamaseemedtobegettingalongwell.Buttheywere
forgettingsomethingimportant.

Stopthat,wehaveacat.Yourenogoodwithcats.

Oh,crap!Yyoureriiiiight!Yuigahamasfacefellexaggeratedly.

Totsukasreactiontothewordcatwasthecompleteoppositeofthat.Ah,
Hachimanscatissupercute!

Youthinkso?Hesshameless,hehitsthefloorwithhistailwhenyoucallouthis
name,andwhenheguzzleswaterduringthenight,hetotallylookslikeademon.
Oh,andwhenyougethomehesniffsaroundyoursmellylegsandbreathesinand
out.

Er,actually,apersonwhoisntattachedtothosefelineswouldgetthatsortof
impression.Butthatpartofthemcouldalsobeseenascute.

Totsukaseemedtobeacatlover,sohereactedhuffilytothebadpartsaboutcats
Ijustsaid.Huuuuh?Butitscute!Yeah.IwannapethimagaincanIcometo
yourhousesometime?

Yyeahwwhenmyparentsarentaround.

Ohh,whytheimposition?

Zaimokuza,thatreallygoeswithoutsaying.

AsTotsukaandIwereflirting,IcouldseeYukinoshitasquirmingbashfullyoutof
thecornerofmyeye.HHikigayakunI,thatis,Idalso

Huh?Iaskedherback,notreallyhearingwhatshehadsaid.

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ButYukinoshitashruggedoffthequestion.Iitsnothingatall.Moreimportantly,
thecakehasbeencut,soletseat.

Ah.Youreright.Komachi,passmeafork.

kaaaay.

AsItookaforkfromKomachi,IcouldveswornIheardaquiet,mutteringvoice.

cat.

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Track10

Yuigahamacrammedthecakeinhermouthandletoutadeepsighof
appreciation.

Mmm,Yukinonshomemadecakeisdelicious!

Really?Imgladyourehappywithit.

Itreallyisdelicious!Komachiinsisted.Yukinosan,youcanaffordtoget
married!Right,oniichaRightthen,aloudsoundroarednextdoor.Yikes!

NotagainAbitfedupnow,Igazedsharplyupattheceiling.Theyrekindof
loudnextdoor.

ButTotsukashruggedwithastrainedsmile.Yeah,theyare.Butkaraokeisnoisy
nomatterwhatyoudoah,doesthishavepeachinit?

Yes.Thegoodoneshavestartedappearingonthemarket,Yukinoshitareplied.

Actually,thefreshpeacheswereatopclassflavouringusedlavishlyin
Yukinoshitascake.AsZaimokuzagobbleddownthatdeliciouscakewithrelish,he
launchedintoaslowrant.

Hachiman,thepeachwasoncetreasuredinAncientChinaasasecretmedicine
forperpetualyouth.Itisatrulyauspiciousfood,youknow?

Ohhh,coolstory,butwhyareyouonlysayingthattome?Ah,butItotally
understandyourfeelings.

Anyway,Yukinosanscookingisamazing,Komachisaid,visiblyimpressed.

Yukinoshitarespondedwithneitherselfimportancenormodesty,butwithtotal
coolness.Nottothatextent.Afterall,Komachisan,youdothecookingatyour
house,Ibelieve?

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Yeppppp,bothourparentsworksoIdothecooking.Ah,butwhenwewerelittle
mybrotherdidit.

Atthat,Yuigahamajumpedinexaggeratedsurprise.Huuuuh?!Hikkidid?!

Yeah,Isaid.Itwastoodangerousforhertousesharptoolsandthefireuntil
theendofelementaryschool.ThatswhyIcanboastthemostdistinguished
cookingskillsamongsixthgradersinthecountry.

WhataquestionablethingtobeproudoverYukinoshitasaiduneasilyin
reaction.

Itwasntquestionableitwasareputableachievement.

Cometothinkofit,ifImatasixthgraderslevelIcandoprettymuchallthe
housework.Imreadytobecomeahousehusbandanytime!Iwillnotwork!To
workistolose!Ideclaredloudly.

Yukinoshitapressedherhandagainstherforeheadgingerlyasifallthiswasgiving
heraheadache.Yetagainyoumouthoffwithyourrotteneyes

Isee,Hikkicancookaswell.IvegottalearnhowtodoittooThenshestarted
mutteringsomething.Istillhaventgivenhimthecookies

Ah,thesubjectofcookingremindedme.Yukinoshitapulledsomethingoutof
herschoolbagwitharustlingsoundandhandeditovertoYuigahama.Here,
Yuigahamasan.

Eh?Wwhatsthis?

Itsyourbirthdaypresent.Idontknowifitmatchesyourinterests,but

Ah,Isaid,thatthingyousearchedrelentlesslyforbyreadingthetypeof
dumbassmagazineyoudontunderstandandwouldnormallynevertouch,I
said.

Yukinoshitaglaredatmesharply.Scary.Sparemetheunnecessarywords.

Yukinonyougotthisformethankyou.CanIopenit?

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Oh,yesgoaheadatyourleisure.

FlashingtheslightlyembarrassedYukinoshitaanovertlybrightlysmile,Yuigahama
undidthewrapping.

Anapronuh,um,thankyou!Iappreciateitsomuch!

GazingatYuigahamassincerelyhappyexpression,Yukinoshitasfaceclearedwith
relief.Idbehappierifyouuseditratherthanhungitupsomewheretoshow
yourappreciation.

Okay!Illappreciateitbyusingit.

Okay,myturn.Ashewatchedtheexchangebetweenthetwogirls,Totsuka
searchedhisschoolbag.Here.Yuigahamasan,youalwaystieupyourhair,right?
Soheresahairclip.

Saichan,thankyou!Andwhoa,thisisreallycute.Youremoreintogirlystuff
thanme

Nowthen,heresmine.Komachi,whoseemedtohavewaitedpreciselyforthis
moment,tookoutaneatlywrappedpresentfromherschoolbag.Here,itsa
photostand.

Thankyoutoo,Komachichan!

Honestly,Iwantedtoputaphotoinsideittoo,butallthephotoswevegothave
aguywithrotteneyesmaybehesnotveryphotogenic?

Ahh,sohiseyesarerotteneveninthephotoswait,Ireallydontwanthis
photo!

SoYuigahamasaid,butshereallydidlookhappy.

Asthechainwentaround,Zaimokuza,whohadbeenwatchinginsilence,
suddenlyscratchedhishead.Hmph.Thiswontdo.Sincethiswassuddenforme,
Ihavenotmadeanypreparations.

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Well,itwasoutoftheblue.Infact,itwouldbecreepyifhehadprepared
something.Asifshethoughtthesameway,Yuigahamasmiledlightlyandoffered
himwarmwords.

Youreallydonthavetoworryaboutit?

Andthus!Youmaysignmyfreshlywrittenmanuscript.

Youreallydonthavetoworryaboutit

Sheutteredtheexactsamewords,butthechillinesswasatabsolutezero.

Oof,whatisthisrejection,urrk.Inthatcase,IllgiveyouMyChoice:100Anime
SongsCDR.

AssoonasIheardthat,IgraspedZaimokuzasshoulderswithoutthinkingand
drewhimtoahalt.Stopit,Zaimokuza.Juststopit.

Ohh,wwhy?Itisnotlikeyoutostopmewithsuchatearfulexpression.

Zaimokuzalookedoverhisshouldersatmewithutternoncomprehensiondrawn
acrosshisface.

Itcantbehelped.Illtellyouthisstorycomesfromafriendofafriend

Ssomehow,IfeellikeIveheardthisbeforeYuigahamalookeddisturbed.

Inspiteofthat,Ibeganthetale.

Backinmiddleschool,therewasagirlheliked.Shewasacute,musiclovinggirl
whobelongedtothewindinstrumentclub.Onthatgirlsbirthday,myfriend
summonedhiscourageandgaveherapresent.Forthatmusiclovinggirl,he
stayedupallnightcompilingabunchofanimesongstorecommend.Hepaid
carefulattentiontothesongselection.Theywerenottoootakuish,andheeven
hadtheforesighttoslipinlovesongsfromtherankingchartatthetime.

Hmm,hehadanadmirablespirit.

Icanseeatwistcoming,though

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ZaimokuzaandYukinoshitabothsaidsomething,buttherealheartofthestory
wasyettocome.

Hispresentwasaccepted,andmyfriendalmostcriedwithjoy.Buttragedy
occurredthenextday.Atlunchtime,thereissuedfromtheschoolsPAsystem
thestylishsongintrothebroadcastcommitteechose:Aaaandthenextsongwas
requestedbyClass2CsOtagayaHachimankun(snicker),alovesong(snicker)for
Yamashitasan!

Thatsenough!Stopitnow,Hachimaaaaan!

Waaah!

Zaimokuzacaughtmeswiftlyinhisarms.AsIstayedinhisembrace,thetears
flowedoutofme.Yuigahamaavertedhereyestoavoidgettingasquarelookat
thatscene.

SoitwasHikkisstoryafterall

Youfool!Itsnotmystoryatall!ItsOtagayakunsstory!

NotasinglepersonbelievedmyobjectionagainstYuigahama,andeven
Yukinoshitasexpressionhadgonewellpastsympathyandbecomesomething
verymuchlikedismay.

Ioverestimatedyou,HikigayakunyoureevenmorepitifulthanIimagined

TheOtagayakunnamewaspasseddownaftermybrothergraduated,Komachi
said.Itwastoughonmepretendinghewassomeoneelse

Hachiman,youbecamealegendTotsukasaid.

Mixedwithmyquietsobbing,thesoundofeveryonesgentlevoiceswastoo
excruciatingforwords.

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Track11

Aaaaanyway,thankyousomuch,everyone!Thismightbethehappiestbirthday
ofmylifesofar,Yuigahamasaidasshelookedathermountainofpresents.

Yukinoshitashrugged.Youreexaggerating.

Notatall!Ireallyamhappy.UptillnowIwashappythatmymumanddad
wouldholdmybirthdayforme,butthisyearreallyisspecialYukinon,thank
you.

IIonlydidwhatanyonewoulddo.Yukinoshitalookedtheotherway.

Asusual,Yuigahamabeamedather.Indeed,itmightbeagoodbirthday.

Butyouknow,Yuigahama,yousuregetalongwithyourfolks.Lastyear,Igot
handedathousandyenformybirthdayandthatwasit.Andthatincludedthe
cake.

Hmph,minewasaroundthesame.Insteadofcash,theyboughtmeKFC.

Huhrreally?Myfamilywouldprepareacakeandtheredbeapresentunder
mypillowthenextmorning

Somehow,thatsmixingitupwithanotherevent.

ButIunderstoodalltoowellthefeelingofwantingtopreparethebestbirthday
forTotsukassake.Goodjob,Totsukasmotherandfather.

Ourfamily,ontheotherhandjustasIwasthinkingaboutthat,Komachispoke
up.

Cometothinkofit,oniichan,arentyoutheonlyonewhostreatedlikethat?
Formybirthday,wegoouttobuypresentstogether,eatoutandbuyacakeon
thewayhome.

PerhapsHikigayakunismerelyunlovedsaidYukinoshita.

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Hey,you!Donttalkcrap!Imtotallyloved!Iftheydont,Iplantohavethem
takecareofmefortwentymoreyears,sotheyllbeintrouble!

WhatabadsonYuigahamasaidwithrealdistaste.Itkindofhurt.

Followingthat,Komachigrimaced.Well,ourparentsaregenerallyhalfassed

MyparentsaresohalfassedIadmirethemsomewhat.

AsoneshouldYukinoshitainsistedquiteseriously,butshereallydidntgetit.

Why,IwasbornontheeighthofAugust,sotheycalledmeHachiman1.

Theyreallyarehalfassed!

Iknow,right?Ithoughtthesameway.ButasfarasYukinoshitawasconcerned,
thatdidnotappeartobethecase.Butisntthathownamingworks?Thatwas
howminewas.ItwasonlybecausesnowwasfallingwhenIwasborn2.

Ohhey,therewereotherpeoplelikeme.ThatwaswhatIthought,butsinceitfelt
likethenameYukinowentwithYukinoshitaverywell,Ishutupandsaidnothing.
WhileIstayedsilent,KomachiseemedtobegettingthesameimpressionIwas.

ButYukinosaprettyname,youknow?

Thankyou.Ialsodonotdislikeit.Infact,Imfondofit.IalsothinkKomachiisa
splendidnamethatsuitsyouverymuch.

YYukinosan

Oi,cutitout,Yukinoshita,dontseducepeoplessisters.Mariasamais
watching.3

1
Hachimansnamehasthecharacterforeightinit.
2
Yukinosnamehasthecharacterforsnowinit.
3
AreferencetoMariasamagaMiteru(lit.TheVirginMaryWatchesOverYou),alightheartedyuri
seriesaboutCatholicschoolgirlswhorefertoeachotherassisters.

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Itwasthekindofatmospherewherewhitelilieswerebloominginthe
background,butonlybehindthem.Theonewhoruinedthemoodwas,ofcourse,
HisLordshipZaimokuza.

Ahem.Soyourparentsdecidedyournames,everyone.

What,youweredifferent?Iasked.

Zaimokuzapitchedoversuddenly,almosttopplingover.Mynamewaspassed
downfromthedistantpast.Tothinkitcouldbegiventomyparentswhonamed
me,Isee,itmustbefate

Riiiiight.

Likeanyonegaveashit.

Hmph.Incidentally,fateoughttobereadasgrandpa.

Thenyoushouldvesaidsofromthestart

JustasIwasthinkingitwasallsopointlessIcoulddie,Totsukachimedinwith
informationthatwasnotpointlessintheleast.Youcouldsayitwastheonetop
secret.

Ahahaha,thenmynamemightbethemostnormal.Theyjustnamedmethatso
mylifecouldaddcolourtoothers4.

Ah,yournameexpressesyourcharacter.Totsuka,youvereallybroughtcolour
tomyhighschoollife.

Geez,dontbesuchatease!Illgetmad,yknow?

Iwantedhimtogetmadatme

AsIwentfromadeterminedfacetoatotallyblissfulsmile,Totsukaseemedto
thinkofsomething.Ah.Heyhey,Yuigahamasan,hespokeup.Whysyour
nameYui?

4
Saikasnamehasthecharacterforcolourinit.

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Huh?Me?Shethoughtaboutit.Errrrr,Ineverreallyasked...

Itsyourbirthdayandall,sowhynotaskwhenyougethome?suggested
Yukinoshita.Sinceyourparentsappeartoloveyouverymuch,Imsureyoull
hearawonderfulstory.Ifyoudlike,youmaytellittomeaswell.

Yukinon

Oooooi,Yukinoshita.ThistimeBuddhaswatchingtoo!

ThistimeIcouldseeahaloofenlightenmentbehindher.Thatwasreallynotvery
romantic.

Hey,HikkiandYukinonandSaichanandChunniallhavemeaningstotheir
namesah.Yuigahamaseemedtothinkofsomething.

Whatsup?Iasked.

Yuigahamaloweredherhead,lookingeversoslightlydepressed.NnothingI
justrealisedthatIImtheonlyonewithoutanicknameandstuff.

Nah,youonlyjustmadeupthatnickname,youknow?Iamnothappywiththat
nicknameatall.

Ialsorejecteditinthebeginningbutgaveupeventuallywhennothing
improvedYukinoshitasaid.

Zaimokuzaletoutasnort.BeingcalledChuunihurtsjustatad

Therejectionscameoneafteranother.ButYuigahamalookedunconvinced.
Huh?Why?Ithoughttheyweregoodnicknames

Ah,IIdontreallymind?Totsukainterjected.Plus,IthinkHikkiisacutename
aswell.

Iknow,right?Yuigahamacheeredup.

Well,comparedtowhatcamebefore,itsnotsobad,Iguess

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Sobywhatcamebefore,youmeantosayyouvehadnicknamesuntilnow?
Yukinoshitaasked.

Yeah,Ianswered.IntroducingtheBestThreeAnnoyingNicknamesMy
ClassmatesGaveMeCorner.

Wow,areallydepressingcornerjuststartedYuigahamadisplayedslight
bafflement.

ButKomachicameinwithhighspirits.Thisistheassistant,Komachi.Nowto
presentthethreeselections!

RidingKomachisannouncement,Ipresentedtheorder.

Numberthree.

Dudum!AfterZaimokuzaproducedadrumrolleffect,Iletthemomenthang.

ThenIsaid,ThebrotherofthatseventhgraderHikigayasan.

Atthatmoment,Yukinoshitamadeaslightlysadface.Itsfittingtobecalledthat
byyourclassmatestheycompletelydeniedyourexistence

Itsnotmybrothersfault!Komachiinsisted.Ikindofstandout,soitwasa
tragedyofcircumstance!

AsIfoughttocontrolmytears,Ipresentedthenextitem.Numbertwo.

Dudum!

AfterZaimokuzasdrumrolleffectrangout,everythingwentquiet.

Thatguy.

Hmph,Ihavememoriesofthistoo.Theywantedtosaythisguyorthatguyor
whatever.Well,itwouldbeaweinspiringtocalloutagreatnamelikemyown
directly,soitcantbehelped!Zaimokuzalaunchedintohiscommentarywithout
anyprovocation.

Ofcourse,Komachiwentonwiththeactualpresentation.

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Nowthen,fortheshockingnumberoneplace!

NnumberoneIannouncedthenumber.

Dudum!Thencamethedrumroll.

Guh

Everyoneheldtheirbreathandwaitedformetocontinue.

IIdontwannasayit

Ireallydidntwanttosayitanymore.Myeyesstartedwateringinadvertently.
Whenthathappened,Totsukastartedpattingmybackgently.

SoitwasthatmeanHHachiman,noneedtoforceyourself,okay?

Thankyou,Totsuka

AsIwaschokedwithtears,Yuigahamapummeledmemercilesslywithwords.
Youdidnthavetodoittobeginwithifyouregonnabringoutyourown
trauma

Shuddup!Sinceyouhavesuchaweirdappreciationfornicknames,Idecidedto
burstyourbubble!

Hikigayakun,Idobelieveyouareaspecialcase

SoYukinoshitasaid,butIdothinkeveryoneexperiencesthiskindofthingtoa
degree.Thosedamnednicknamesarehonestlygoodfornothing.Whetherornot
sheknewmyfeelings,Komachilaidoutanewsuggestion.

Ah,thenletstrythis.LetsallgiveYuisanawonderfulname.

Komachichan,youresuchanicegirl!Great,sofromnowon,Komachichanis
Macchi.

Yeek,Yuisan,yournamingsensesucks!

Huh,nowayIthoughtIwasgoodatit.Yuigahamarecoiledinmildshock.

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Rightnexttoher,Totsukabegantothinkhard.Hmmm,anickname,huhhow
aboutYuitch?

ThetchinYuitchisthetchinbitch,right?Goodcall,Totsuka.ThenImayas
wellcallherbitch.

Itoldyounottocallmeabitch!Rejected!

Hmmm,IwonderifmyKomachipointswouldgoupifIcalledyouYuionee
chan?

That!Thatsoversteppingit!Itsembarrassingsorejected!

OhoTheBlackWhiteTigerofChiba.

Uh,thetwonamesinthatnicknamedontmatchandhey,pickclearlybetween
blackorwhite.

Needlesstosay,rejected!

Totsukas(er,my)suggestionwasrejected,followedbyKomachisand
Zaimokuzasinturn.Then,havingwaitedfortheopportunemoment,Yukinoshita
madeherentrance.

ThenhowaboutYuinon?

Huh?Itdoesntsoundright

Havingbeensummarilyrejected,Yukinoshitasshoulderssagged.

Youreonetotalk,consideringhowblindyouaretoyourpoornamingsenseif
youregoingtomouthoffsomuch,youmayaswellpickityourself,shetold
Yuigahama.

Yuigahamathoughtaboutitforamoment.Itspainfultothinkofyourown
nickname

Youmightnotrealisethis,butyoureinplentyofpainalreadyYukinoshita
said.

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Shuddup!Andhey,ImnotinpainatallImtotallynormal,Yuigahama
insisted.

Inresponse,Yukinoshitanoddedeagerly.Indeed,youreverynormal
commonplace,even.

Didyoujustsaysomethingkindofhurtful?!

Yukinoshitaspraisingyouforonce,Isaid.

ThatsYukinonswayofpraisingpeople?!

NotcallingyoutrashordirtishighpraisebyYukinoshitasstandards,Isaid.
Nowhurryupandthinkofanicknamealready.

Hmmm,itshardwhenIvebeenputonthespotah.Yuigahamalookedasif
shehadjusthituponagoodidea.

Totsukaturnedanexpectanteyetowardsher.Youthoughtofsomething?

Yep.Yuigahamapaused.ImYuigahamaYui,soYYuiyui,Iguess.

Pffft!Isnortedwithoutthinking.

Oi,wassheforreal?Thatwassupremelyembarrassing.

Hheeeey!Whyreyoulaughing?!Yuigahamaflaredup,butYukinoshitaonly
regardedherwithconcern.

Isthinkingofsuchanembarrassingnicknameforyourselftheheightof
masochism?Ifyouhaveproblems,youshouldseekhelp

Youreworryingaboutmewithastraightface?!

Ontheotherhand,TotsukaandKomachiseemedcoolwithit.

Ithinkitsnice,saidTotsuka.Isntitcute?

Indeeditis,saidKomachi.ItfitsYuisan.

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Uponbeingtoldthat,Yuigahamasconfidencereturnedtoher.IIknow,right?
Imnotinpainatall!

Ahh,itsoundslikeapleaforhelpwhenyousayityourself.

Shejustturnedhereyesawaywithastrainedsmile!Yuigahamaclutchedher
headinagony,butinadvertently,reinforcementsarrived.

Hmph,however,onecangetusedtoitwhileyouresayingit.WhenIfirst
assumedthenameoftheMasterFencerGeneral,itfeltoutofplace,butthree
dayslater,theconvictionthatnothinghadchangedwasborninme.

Chuuni,yousaidsomethingneat!Butdontlumpmewithyou!

Uuuuurk!

AftersinkingthelifeboatZaimokuzaoughttohaverepresented,Yuigahama
turnedtoYukinoshita.

Anyway,Yukinon,wouldyoutrycallingmethat?

Absolutelynot.

Uwaaah.ThatwasaquickresponsefromYukinosanYukinoshitasrefusalwas
sopromptitmadeKomachiwince.

Ohhhhhh.Withevidentchagrin,Yuigahamaturnedherfullattentiontome.
Ththen,Hikkiwwouldyoutrycallingmethat?

Hhuuuh?Idontwannacalloutsuchafancyandfairytaleishname

Andseriously,itwasjusttooembarrassing.AsIwashesitating,Yuigahamasgaze
metmineforonebriefmomentbeforeshequicklylookedaway.

okay,then.JustYuiisfine.

Asifshethoughthernicknamewasembarrassingtoo,shegrippedthehemofher
skirttightlywithherfingertipsandavertedhergazewithafaintlyredface.

Zaimokuzasnorted.Youseemtobedestroyingthedefinitionofnickname.

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Chuunisan,thatsagoodthingrightnow,sopleaseshutthehellup,said
Komachi.

Yyesm.

Then,foraslightmoment,theairwasstill.Atranquilsilencefelloverthe
surroundings.

Hey,Hikki

Slowly,Yuigahamaraisedherwateryeyesandlookedatmewithanearnestgaze.

YuYuargh,ifitsnicknamesweretalking,whynotjustcallyourself
somethingdumblikeGahamasanandbedonewithit?

YoudontplantocallmeYuieventhoughyouhadtheguts?!Yuigahamawas
takenaback.

MyoniichansgoodfornothingKomachimuttered,makingfunofmeslightly.

Er,Imean,itsembarrassing,afterall

Anyway,withoutanynicknamesbeingdecided,ourleaderYukinoshita
summarisedtheproceedings.

InanycaseitsfinetocallYuigahamasanbyherfirstname?

Thatsenoughalready

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Track12

Totsukagrippedhisdrinkwithbothhandsandmadeasuckingsoundthroughhis
straw.Ah,mydrinksallgone.

Hm,okay,Illbringoneover.

Gingerly,ItooktheglassfromTotsukaandstoodup,holdingmyownglasswhileI
wasatit.Havingguessedmyintentions,Totsukasmiledbrightlyandtoldmehis
order.Thanks.ThenIllhaveacoffee.

Rogerthat.Anyoneelse?Iasked,lookingaround.

Yukinoshitaraisedhercupquickly.Hikigayakun,Illhavegreytea.

Right.

ThenIllhavecola,Komachisaid.

kay.Whataboutyou,Gahamasan?IwentontoaskGahamasan,butshe
turnedhernoseupatmeandrefusedtoanswer.

tsuuuuuuun.

Gahamasan?

Urk!hmph!

EventhoughItriedaskingheragain,Gahamasanturnedtomewithangeronher
faceforasplitmoment,andthenimmediatelyturnedaway,leavingme
scratchingmyheadinslightconcern.Therewasnothingforit.Iwouldhavetocall
herbythatname.

Ahhhyouwannadrinksomething?Yuiyui.

Ah,sorry,IlldowithoutthenicknameafterallYuiyuisaidassheclappedher
handstogether.

259
 Track 12

Dontbeshy.Drinksomething,Yuiyui.

Stopit,Isaid!IllhavethesamethingasKomachi!

Ayeaye,onecolacomingup,Yui.

Quitit!huh?Yuigahamablinkedrapidlyacoupleoftimes,adumbfounded
lookonherface.

Well,um,howdoyousayit?Idslippedupwithhernamejustnow.

NextwasZaimokuza.

Zaimokuza,youdrinkingsomething?Curry?

Areyoutreatingmeasafatcharacter,youlout?IwillhavetheUltraDivine
Water1.

Ciderthen.Gotit.

HeactuallyunderstoodthatKomachimuttered.Oniichansuregetsalong
withChuunisan

AfterItookeveryonesorders,Iopenedthedoorandlefttheroom.

1
TheUltraDivineWaterismagicwaterfromDragonBallthatwillincreasethedrinkersstrengthifthey
cansurviveitspoisonouseffects.

260
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Track13

Uhhhh,coffee,greytea,colaandwasitcurryagain?

AsIpreparedeachdrinkonebyoneatthedrinkbar,Iheardloudnoisesand
singing.Seemedlikeitwascomingfromtheroomnexttous,forsomereason.

Ohh,theyrefiredupnextdoor.But,well,itsnotgoodiftheymakesucha
racketandhittheceilingmightbeagoodideatocautionthemabit

TherewasnowayIcouldhaveknownatthetimethatIwouldregretmy
whimsicalaction.IfIhadneverseenthathorrifyingsight,ImsureImighthave
beenabletogohomewithhappinessinmyheart.TothinkIwouldlayeyeson
suchatragedy

Iwentallthewayuptothefrontoftheroomnextdoorandknockedlightly.Butit
seemedthesoundofmyknockingwasbeingdrownedoutbythemusic.

Hmm?Theycanthearit?Meh,guessIlltakealook.

Iturnedthedoorknobdiscretelyandpeeredthroughtheslightgap.

Ahhh,isthatHiratsukasensei?Shesallalone,buttheresnomistakingthats
her.

Hiratsukasenseiwasmoreorlessalwaysonherown,sotherewasnomistaking
itwasher.

EvenasHiratsukasenseigrippedthemicrophone,shewasstaringvacantlyatthe
screenandlookingratherdrainedofenergy.

Shesighed.LovesongsarejustfraudsanddeceptionsandliesIdontfeellike
singingoneandthepeoplenextdoorseemtobehavingawedding,makingall
thatcheerfulsoundingnoiseriajuu,youshouldjustexplode

Assoonasthatvoicereachedme,Islammedthedoorshut.ButIwasntableto
shutawaythesobbingvoice,slippingthroughthecracks.

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 Track 13

Icouldnthelpbutsobmyself.HHiratsukasenseisomeone,pleasetakeher
alreadyohcrap,shescomingthisway.

SinceHiratsukasenseihadguessedthatthedoorhadopenandshut,Ihurried
awayfromthedoorandrantowardsthedrinkcornerwithanonchalantlook.

Hiratsukasenseiwaswalkingthatwaywithatiredexpression.Imsothirsty
shesighed.Oh?Hikigaya.Imsurprisedtoseeyouhere.

Llongday,huh.Ssensei,whyareyouhere?Iasked.

Foramoment,Hiratsukasenseiwasdismayed,butsoonenoughshewasbackto
herordinaryself.Me,huh.I,uhwwell,itsawayoflettingoutstress.You,
thoughoh,right.Yuigahamasbirthdayparty,huh?Havingfunthere?

Well,Iguess,Ianswered.

Allofasudden,Hiratsukasenseibrokeoutintoagentlesmile.Isee,shesaid
afterapause.Ah,sorry,letmetakeapuff.

Withthatoffhandapology,shepulledoutacigarettefromherbreastpocketand
lititup.Thesmokeshepuffedoutwanderedthroughtheair.

Youvechangedabitthesedays.Theoldyouwouldneverhavegoneto
somethinglikeabirthdayparty.Iamproudasyourteachertobetheonethat
starteditandtoseethesignsofyourgrowth.

Sensei

Well,eventhoughIsaythat,Hikigaya,itsyouweretalkingabout.Atanyrate,
youreprobablyfeelingthiseverydaylifeisafraudandthinkingofitasfake.
Thatsfinefornow.Thedepthofyourdoubtisproofthatyourecontinuingto
thinkhard.Ilikethatpartaboutyou.Noneedtorush.Oneday,theanswerwill
cometoyou.

Thispersonhadreallybeenwatchingme.Sheneitheraffirmednordeniedthe
currentme,butsawmeforwhoIwas.Thinkingofthat,Ifeltmyheartwarmup
justalittlebit.

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sensei.Sinceyourehere,whynotannounceyourself?

Hm?Imhappyatyourinvitation,butShestartedmumbling.Itold
YuigahamaIhadapartyjustbeforeifshebyanychancefoundoutIwasdriven
outofaweddingpartySheclearedherthroat.Ah,Illhavetorefuse.Itwont
begoodifIbemyselfandgetintheway.

Youwontbegettingintheway.Ouragesaresodifferentwewontknowthe
songs,soevenifyousingthemitlljustbekillingtime!

Idbeenshowingmyconcern,butforsomereasonHiratsukasenseislowly
clenchedherfists.

Hikigaya,shutupandbitethebullet.ShockingFirstBulleeeeeeeeet!

263
 Track 14

Track14

Soanyway,theresadrinkbarheretoo.Ithoughtforsureitwasonlyinfamily
restaurants.

Nah,Ithinktheressomethinglikeadrinkbarinprettymucheverykaraoke
place.

YukinoshitaandYuigahamaweretalking.Komachisvoicedriftedovertothem.

Butcometothinkofit,whydotheyhaveitatkaraoke?Ifitsallyoucandrink,
thenwhythefamilyrestaurantaswell?

Isntitbecausetheseareprivaterooms?Totsukaanswered.

Oh,Iseeee,saidKomachi,acceptingtheresponse.Butsincewevecomeall
thewayhere,Iwannasing.

Komachisvoicerangoutlikeaninvitation.Sensingthat,Yuigahamagotrighton
board.Iknow,right!Aha,Ikindafeltlikepeopledidntwanttosingtoday,soI
wentalongwithitwithoutthinking!

Asusual,Yuigahamasan,youleadaverytiringlifetheresnoneedtohold
back,saidYukinoshita.Moreover,todayisyourbirthday.Youreallowedto
indulgejustalittle.

Yukinonah,wwellthen.

ThatwastheconversationIheardwhenIcametothedoor.Iknockedonitlightly.
Ooooooi,openthedoorforme!

Oniichan,youcameback,saidKomachi.

Hachiman,Illopenitrightnow.Totsukapacedovertothedoorandopenedit.

Thankyou,Totsuka.

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Aslighttwingeofsadnessmusthavecolouredmyvoice,becauseTotsukalooked
upatmyfacewithconcern.HHachiman?Issomethingwrong?Didsomething
sadhappen?

Nah,itsnothing.Nothinghappened.Nothingsadhappenedatall

Right,nothinghappened.Therewasnosadfemaleteacher,stillsingleIattacked
thatmemoryanderasedit.IfIdidntdothat,Iwouldbeeversoslightlysad
myself.

WhenIputdownthetrayfullofglasses,Zaimokuzarespondedwithexaggerated
fury.Hachiman!Yousuretookyourtime!Donotleavemealone!Istarted
playingacellphonegamewithoutthinking!

Quiet,you.Noonesbetteratworkingthanaloneratthesetimes,soyouare
freefrompityingglances!

Wow,whatayuckyskilltolevelup.Komachiwasshoweringmewith
admirationexceptnotforthereasonsIintended.

Asifmyreasoninghadkilledhisspiritaswell,Zaimokuzagroanedforawhile,and
whenhewasdonewiththat,heslappedhisknee.Nexttimeyougogetdrinks,
itsfinetoinvitemetoo!Iallowyou!

Whatkindatsundereisthat?Here,Yukinoshita,yourtea.

IpassedoverthecuptoYukinoshita,whotookitspeedily.Thankyou,shesaid,
beforefacingYuigahama.Nowthen,Yuigahamasan,whatwereyougoingto
say?

Oh,right.Yukinon,willyousingwithme?Itsembarrassingtodoitalone.

Absolutelynot.

Onceagain,theanswerwasprompt.

Huuuuh?!DidntyousayIcouldaskyouanythingjustbefore?!

Ididnotsayanythingofthesort

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Seehere,Yuigahama.Yukinoshitahasnoconfidenceinhersinging.Getaclue.

Isthatso?Yuigahamaaskedblankly,towhichYukinoshitathrewoutherchest
andfoldedherarmswithaselfassuredmanner.

Hmph,Imtroubledthatyouunderratemeso.Theviolin,piano,ElectoneIm
inclinedtowardsallkindsofmusic.

PianoandElectonearebothplayedthesameway1

Whateverthecase,sheseemedtobesayingshewasaccomplishedinthemusical
arts.

Ihavenodisinclinationtowardssinginginitself.ButIamuncertainwhetherI
havethephysicalstrengthtosingmorethanonesong.

YourlackofstaminaishardcoreHowwassheevenalive?

YuigahamapulledonYukinoshitassleeveinsistently.Yukinon,Yukinon,ifwe
singtogether,ittakeshalftheenergy,right?

Whatkindofequationisthat,Iwonder?Whatever,ifyouinsist,Iwill
accompanyyouforjustonesong.

Yay!YuigahamawasinhighspiritsuponreceivingYukinoshitasaffirmation.

Meanwhile,Komachipulledtheremotecontroltowardsherself.ThenIllsing
afterthosetwo,Iguess.Totsukasan,whataboutyou?

Asthetwoofthemstaredattheremotecontrol,Totsukapointedtentatively.
Mmm,Iwanttosingthis

Thathasgirlvocals,youknow?

Ah,IseeIwonderifIcanhitthenotesTotsukaseemedalittleforlorn.

1
ElectoneisthetrademarkforelectronicorgansusedbyYamaha,aJapanesebrandofmusical
instruments.

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 Track 14

No,Iwouldntbeworriedaboutthatatallifyoureuneasy,Illhelpyouout,
yknow?

AtKomachiswords,Totsukabrightenedupwithasmile.Really?Thankyou.Itd
bekindaembarrassingifIdiditalone

Ooooh,ththisisbecauseIknowoniichanwouldlosehismindoverit

Right,right.Soshedidunderstand,huh.Also,Iwasntreallylosingmymindor
anything.

Hmph,lookslikeithascomedowntothetwoofusagain.Forsomereason,
Zaimokuzaclosedthedistancebetweenus.

Huh?Oioi,holdonjustasec.Isntthisweird?Isntitsupposedtobeoneboy,
onegirl?Wait,whodecidedImpairingwithyou?!Isaid,althoughhedidnt
listentomeonebit.

Heh,itseemsmyanimesongfolderiserupting.Nowthen,whichoneofthese
late90ssongsshallwestartourattackwith?

Hey,whileImightlikethateratoo,Idontwannasingwithyou!

Oioi,youllputmeintroubleifyousaythatnow.I,forone,donotwanttosing
aloneinthissituation!IfIsing,themoodwillturnsour.

Speakingfrompersonalexperience,huhinthatcase,giveitup.Justsitquietly
bytheedgeandjusttaptotherhythmwithyourknees

Nay,thatsthelimit!Illsing!WhenImsinging,wellneedthebestUltraOrange
stick.

Whothehellcaresaboutthecolouroftheglowstick2?!

NottomentionitwaspatentlyobviousthatwedidnthaveachoiceinUltra
Orangestickswhenwewerethebiggestdowners.

2
Japaneseaudiencesfrequentlywaveglowsticksattheconcertsofpopularidols.

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Asallofthiswasgoingon,theotherpairsweresteadilymakingprogresswith
theirpreparations.

Ah,thenYukinonandIwillsingthis.

Youknow,Idontknowthatsongwell,socouldIlistentoitforabit?

AsifYukinoshitaswordsfailedtoreachher,Yuigahamawastednotimeinputting
thesong.

Erwheresthetransmitbutton?

Itshere,itshere.

Rightafterthat,therewasanelectronicpingingnoise.

Ah,ahhhhhahhhhh,thedividingdriver!Hmph,thestateofmythroatseems
fine

Wwaitjustaminute,please!WithTotsukaatleastletmesingwithTotsuka!

AsZaimokuzawasseriouslypracticinghisthroatexercises(GAGAGA!),arobotic
andinflectionlessmechanicalvoicerangout.

Yourperformancewillbeginshortly.

Hearingthat,Yukinoshitaletoutashortsigh.Geez.

Yukinon,cmon,cmon!Itsstarting!

Yuigahamasan,passthemic.

Youresurprisinglyfiredup!

Idstruggledinbelongingatabirthdayparty,Irelivedmytraumaaboutthe
nicknamesIdbeencalled,andIsangaduetwithaboywhenwedidkaraokem
myteenromcomiswrongasIexpected

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 Track 15

Track15

Whentheautomateddoorsopened,Yuigahamastretchedasshewalkedoutside.

Mmm!Isangmyfill!ItsbeensolongsinceIlasthadfunatkaraoke.Weshould
comeagain,Yukinon!

IfIgowithyou,youllmakemesonganynumberofsongs,soImnotinclined
tothinkyoumademesingfivesongsbackthereYukinoshitasaidwearilyasshe
followedYuigahamaout.

Yuigahamarespondedbyraisinghervoice.Huuuuh?!Butyouweresogood,so
letsgoagain!sheentreated.

Ah,metoo,metoo,saidKomachi.Iwanttogotoo.

ThenKomachiflewintostepwithYukinoshita.Sandwichedbetweentwopeople,
Yukinoshitascheeksreddenedslightly.

well,Isupposeitsallrightonceinawhile.

Yep,thankyou.Thatcountsfortodayaswell,saidYuigahama.Iwashappy
thatsomanydifferentpeoplecelebratedwithme

Iamnottheoneyoushouldthank.Hewastheonewhogatheredpeople.

YyourerightHHikki,um.

AsIwaswalkingoutsidetofollowthegirls,Yuigahamaspanaroundtofaceme.

Yeah?Isaid.

Um,thanksfortodhuh?Yuigahamawasinthemiddleofsayingsomething,but
thensheturnedhergazebehindmedubiously.WhenIlookedbehindmeinturn,
itwasattheexactmomenttheautomateddoorsopenedandthefigureofa
personappeared.

Atthesametimethemechanicalnoisesounded,asinglewomanwalkedout.

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 Track 15

Ispentsomuchtimealoneagain,shesaid,sighing.Well,IllbealoneevenifI
gohomeheh.

Asshelookedatthewomanwhowaslaughingatherselfderisively,Yuigahama
raisedhervoiceinapuzzledmanner.Hiratsukasensei?Werentyouataparty?

YYuigahama?!Yyouguysarestillhere?!Caughtinafrenzy,Hiratsukalooked
ateachofusinturn.

Havingfiguredoutwhatshemeantbythewordparty,Ispokeupwithout
thinking.Byparty,didyoumeanaweddingpartybyanycha

diditnotworkout?Yukinoshitasaidwithsympathylacedinhertone.

YuigahamaspoketoHiratsukasenseicomfortingly.Ssensei?Look,uhhhh.
Gettingmarriedisnteverything!Youhaveyourjob,andyourestrongsoImsure
youcantakecareofyourself.Sopleasecheerup!

Butthemomentsheheardthat,Hiratsukasenseiseyesstartedblurringwith
tears.

WaaaaaaaaaaaaaahIgottoldthatalongtimeagoshemutteredsomething
thatsoundedverysadtome.

Andthenallofasudden,Hiratsukasenseidashedoffintothedistance.

Ah,sheranoff.

Hiratsukasenseisvoicerangoutthroughoutthenightsky,perhapsbecauseof
theDopplerEffect.

WaaahIwannagetmarried

(BonusTrackBirthdaySongforYouEnd.)

270
 Credits

ProjectLeaderandTranslator:Frogkun

Supervisor:Msirp

Editor:Einander

Typesetter:DevilHands

TranslationGroup:NanoDesuTranslations