Purple

by Sydney Alyson V. Nudo

She sat down on the sofa bed in front of the psychiatrist. Fidgeting with her slim fingers,
she watched as the man scribbles something on a notebook. She kept on observing the
doctor up until he sets up the recorder on the coffee table in front of them.

So, MissKatherine Cole he started, glancing at her written profile he was holding.
Since when have you been experiencing anxiety attacks?

She glanced everywhere in the room to calm herself. Her gaze lingered on the beautiful
figurine of a woman that lies on top of a small round table beside the doorframe.

Since a lump grows in her throat, making it difficult for her to speak, that
happened

The doctors eyebrows rose upon hearing it. This is Katherines first session with the
psychiatrist and the latter has small amount of background regarding her condition.

I presume, you already know how this worksI want you to tell me everything that keeps
you in trouble so that I can help you.

The lady stared at him, hesitant whether she should just leave or continue with the
counselling. Taking a deep breath, she decided to focus herself on the figurine before and
started educing all fragments of her bittersweet past.

Tears ran down my cheeks while I stare at the old polaroid photos that I have kept for the past
few years. I stopped at one particular photo that reminded me a lot of memories. We were
smiling from ear to ear with him, hugging me from behind. Nostalgia clouded me as I look at
how happy we were back then. I just cant believe and understand how two years of being
together changed him this much.

We were high school sweethearts and everything was bliss. It was that night after our graduation
when we ran away with his older brothers car and went to the citys highest place to enjoy the
night sky and city lights. Out of nowhere, he asked me for marriage. I was hesitant, of course, for
we were too young and all but as hopelessly in love that I am, I agreed. At the same night, we
came inside an old chapel, asking a priest to bless our marriage then on the next day; we signed a
contract to make everything official. Our parents were outraged that I even almost got a sharp
slap from my father, but in the end, they accepted our decision. We started living together and
lived as a happy couple while we continue our studies in college. I finished an associate degree
in fashion designing while he still pursues his studies as a medical student. Things were fine
within those two years but lately, he suddenly changed. No more the sweet guy who would give
me a kiss every now and then. No more the man I have fallen in love with. The familiar warmth
in his eyes is now replaced with cold gazes.

I was knocked from my thoughts when I heard the door opening, a sign that he is finally at home.
Trying to overlook the obvious negativities, I stood up and put on my brightest smile to welcome
him.

Michael! How was your day? I said with my ever jovial voice.

I took a hold of his arm to give him a kiss but to my surprise, he bleakly shoved me away. Not
now, Katherine.

I was taken aback but I still tried to smile. Mike, I cooked your favourite

I said not now! He shouted which made me flinch. He stopped and turned to me with a straight
face. Just go and eat by yourself. Im not hungry.

With that, he left me alone in the living room. It was so quiet that the only thing that I can hear is
the sound of the clock ticking.

I went to the dining table and stared at everything I had prepared. All of these are his favourite.

I sighed and started cleaning the table, even if I know that Im already on the verge of crying.
Nonetheless, I smiled and shook my head.

Its okay, Kate. Your husband just had a bad day. Medical school is a tough nut to crack anyway.
He loves you and hell get back to you tomorrow morning, trust me.

As I was about to smile, a tear managed to escape my eyes. When I tried to wipe it, another one
felluntil I finally broke down.

Morning came and I woke up all alone on the bed.

He didnt even wake me up.

With heavy footsteps, I took lazy strides outside and there, I found him, fixing his hair in front of
the mirror. Seeing him, an idea came to me.
Let me do it for you. I approached him to do the job just like what I always would before but
this time, he reacted oppositely.

He slapped my hand away from him and glared at me. Dont do anything I wouldnt ask you to
do.

Again, he turned his back on me and slammed the door, leaving me like a stupid weakling once
again.

I want to cry. I want to drop down the floor and sob but I can't.

Thats fine, Katherine. Michael loves you. He just slept on the wrong side of the bed.

Its already two in the afternoon and I decided to grab some noodles three blocks away from our
home. I have been a regular customer here since I moved in. The owner, Old Clara, as what we
call her is a 65-year old woman who looks younger than her age. She loves to smile a lot and that
made customers love her more. Based from her features, I bet shes a stunner during her younger
days.

Goodness gracious! Katherine Cole, where have you been?

That was Jennie, Old Claras granddaughter as well as a part-time helper in this noodle shop. We
became friends since the first time I came here. This girl is quite talkative and I truly love her
company. Never a dull moment, I must say.

I smiled, patting the chair beside me which she immediately took. Im fine.

She narrowed her eyes at me. Knowing Jennie, she wont buy it.

Dont try lying to me, missy. Let me guess, hes being a wrench again.

Jennie made it sound like a statement. Shes pretty sure about itwhich I cant deny anyway. I
wasnt able to say anything so I just gave her a faint smile which caused her to roll her eyes at
me.

Come on, Kate. If I were you, Ive had already left him on the ditch.

I gasped at her straightforward suggestion and aggressively shook my head. You know that I
cant do that. And stop calling me Kate. Mikes the only one who can call me that.
She gave me a quizzical look as if I have grown two heads. Seriously, Katherine? Five months!
He has been acting like a jerk for five months. You were the one who even told me that he treats
you as if youre some kind of an unseen creature and youll tell me that you cant leave him?

I sighed as my hands tightened around the glass that Ive been holding.

He must be tired. I meanwith medical school and all of that

Jennie scoffs and lets out a sarcastic laugh. Thats not enough reason for him to treat you like a
trash. He wasnt like that before, just so you know.

I still cant. I love him.

When she heard it, she slammed the table with her hands, getting the attention of the other
customers. Good thing, her grandma is not around or else we will be getting a long lecture again.

You do love him but does he even feel the same way?

I looked at her sternly. He loves me. I know it.

Jennie held my shoulders and forced me to face her. Tell me then, when was the last time you
heard it from him?

And that hit me.

I dont even remember anymore.

I went home in daze, still not forgetting about what Jennie has said to me.

Is it possible that he doesnt love me anymore? Just like that? Two years in a relationship and
two more years in marriagehell just lose it all?

I stepped on the front porch and was about to get my keys when I noticed the door was unlocked.
Still confused, I went inside and there I saw Michael leaning on the kitchens doorframe with his
hands in his pockets. His cold stare is piercing through me.

Where have you been? he asked in a husky yet stern voice.

I just went for a visit at Old Claras shop. I tried so hard to hide the apprehension in my voice.

He walked slowly towards me. I tried to back away but I stopped when I hit the wall behind me.
Youre lying.
My head is now trapped in between his arms. Theres no way that I can escape him.

Im not lying

The anger reflected in his eyes grew. With clenched fist, he punched the wall beside me. I closed
my eyes in fear.

I said I

He didnt let me finish for he slapped me. He slapped me so hard enough to leave a bruise on my
cheeks. I was lost of words. It was too painful. Not because of the slap but because of him. He
had never lifted a hand on me ever.

This is not him anymore.

I looked at him, crying. His expression never changed. I was hoping for a chance of guilt from
him but nothing. All I see is a pair of cold eyes staring down at me.

He has gone worse. He would beat me up for the small mistakes that I do. Purple bruises are all
over my arms. If not a punch or a hard grip, a cold shoulder would be thrown at me. I am stupid
for staying but a part of me still hopes that he will come back.

Its eight in the evening but hes still not home. I decided to go to a convenience store to buy
some supplies. I wore a long sleeved shirt to hide all the bruises and went on. When I got there, I
met an unexpected person. It was Gabe, my close friend during freshman year. He had to transfer
the next year and we had lost connection then.

I notice that he didnt change a bit. Hes still the same humorous and fun person that I have met.
We talked and tried to catch up with each others lives that I didnt notice that it had been an
hour.

I think I have to go. My husbands probably home by now.

He also stood up and gave me an assuring smile. Let me take you home then.

I shook my head in disagreement. You dont have to. I can manage.

I insist. Besides, its already late. Its dangerous for girls like you to be walking down the streets
alone.

With him being persistent, I decided to take his offer.

The walk was quiet as none of us uttered a word. We finally stopped in front of our house and
that was the time that I faced him. Thanks for walking me home. It was a great time seeing you
again.

He grinned and ruffled my hair. Not a problemI think I have to go now.

I smiled and waved him goodbye. When he was out of my view, I finally went inside the house
but to my surprise, Michael was standing in the doorway glaring at me in anger.

So you have been whoring around all this time, huh?

My eyes widened. What do you mean?

A sinister laugh escaped from his mouth. He grabbed my face with a hand and forced me to look
at him. You dont have to lie, you whore!

After saying that, he threw a blow on my abdomen which sent me down the floor. I curled up in
pain as I felt my insides churn. The impact was so hard that I feel like dying. Michael kneeled
down and grabbed me by the hair and slapped me twice. Not letting my hair go, he dragged me
in our room and threw me on the bed. I was screaming and crying but everything was useless. No
one can help me at this moment even if I die.

That night I felt horrible. This was never the fairy tale I once dreamt of with him. The prince that
I love became the monster who ruins me.

Days have passed and he would still beat me up. I became his outlet of frustration. Its like I
wasnt his wife at all. Thats not all of it. The thing I have feared the most has happened.

Here I am, standing by the bathrooms sink, staring at four rectangular materials in front of me.
All of them are showing double lines.

Im pregnant.

Anyone in my place would probably jump in joy and cry in happy tears, but not for me. I cant
let this happen. I cant let this child grow up in this sick and twisted environment. I cant let this
child see how much of a monster his father is and I cant let him see how much stupid his mother
is for loving that monster.

I have to leave. I have to raise this child somewhere but not here. I want to take him as far as I
can from Michael.
I stared at my reflection and pondered on the decision that I have to make. I have to do this for
my childas a mother. Wiping my tears away, I went back inside the room and started packing.
I have to get this all done before he comes back.

Having everything already set up, I called a cab to pick me up. My bags were already at the
living room while Im here taking one last glance of our room. I stared at our wedding picture
taken during the time when we signed our marriage contract. We looked so happy. We were
perfect. But I guess not everything lasts long because look at us nowpained and shattered.

I went back to reality when I heard a loud honk outside. The cabs here. I scurried down the
living room and grabbed my bags when a voice stopped me.

Where do you think youre going?!

I turned around and saw him fuming in anger. But this wasnt the usual anger that I see from
him. I can see pain in his eyes.

When I didnt answer, he screamed and threw something on the floor. They were the pregnancy
tests.

Were you planning to keep this from me? Were you planning to hide the baby from me? Huh?
He came closer but I walked backwards until Im already outside the front porch.

Answer me! he screamed at the top of his lungs. I can already see beads of tears forming in his
orbs.

Yes! I managed to answer back. I dont want this child to grow up with a father like you! You
need help, Michaelbut I cant do it because I am all fed up. Maybe without me, youll be able
to realize what you have been doing. Im sorry Michael but I cant do it anymore; especially now
that I have this child with me.

With that I turned around and walked fast towards the cab. I can hear him calling me, asking me
to come back but I didnt turn around. Its better this way. Its better for us this way.

Not long after getting away, I saw a familiar car following us. Its him. Hes still following me.

Sir, can you please drive faster? I begged the driver.

The old man looked at me and sighed before speeding up. Despite everything, Michael doesnt
stop. Hes still behind us. I was getting nervous at what he might do next. The chase continued
longer until I heard a loud crash.

I was frozen as I stare at the rear-view mirror.

Stop the car! the man immediately stepped on the breaks and I didnt hesitate to step out from
the vehicle.
With wobbly legs, I walked slowly to see what happened. What I saw shattered me more.

There, a few feet away from me are two cars crashed to each other, almost unrecognizable. But
one of them wont escape my eyes. The same Mercedes which he used to drive with me since we
got marriedit was his.

I found myself dropping down to the ground and started sobbing.

So that means he was gone? the doctor curiously asks her.

Katherine wipes the tears from her cheeks and shook her head. Hes not. Hes still alive.
He was on a coma for five months but when I heard that he has finally woken up, I left. His
mom told me that he cant remember anythingnot even the fact that he has a wife.

The man raised his brow. And why did you do that?

Because its better this way. I cant see him carrying the burden of our past. Whats
important is we are both fine now. Hes happy being a doctor nowa surgeonto be
exact. His and my childs conditions are all that I care for. The way she fidgets with her
fingers did not escape the doctors eyes.

He smiled at the words she had let out. So that means you still love him. He waited for
her response but all she did was stare back at him with an unexplainable expression.

The man fixed his eyeglasses and chuckled. You dont have to answer that, Miss Cole. He
sighed and settled his notes on the table. He leaned on the couch and clasped his hands
together. Thats basically why youre having these mental breakdowns. You are still not
over the past and by the looks of it, you still have an attachment to him.

Silence engulfed the room as Katherine thinks of something to answer.

I guess it would take some time then.

The doctor gave her an assuring smile.

He stood up from his seat and Katherine did as well. To wrap this upId advise you to
divert your thoughts into other stuffs then if the attacks still come; you can come back so I
can prescribe some drugs and conduct a formal therapy.

The lady gave him a warm smile and held out her hand. Thank you so much.

The man gladly took it. By the way, allow me to askhow was your son?
Katherine chuckled as she approached the door. Hes fine and healthy. I always leave him
with his grandparents at times like this.

The doctor nodded.

She finally got outside the office when the psychiatrist called her again.

I have one last question Kate nodded for him to continue. You see, since I can observe
how attached you are to him, what if he remembers and come asking for your
forgiveness?

The lady stared out, smiling bitterly. He doesnt have toI have already forgiven him.
Besideshes still my Michael.

He nodded and smiled with pursed lips. Ill see what I can do to help for the next
counselling.

They smiled at each other for one last time. Katherine closed the door herself and started
walking off with a sigh.

Little did she know, a pair of brown orbs followed her figure ever since she walked out
from his place. He took off his spectacles and put it inside a drawer where a bunch of
polaroid photos are hidden. He took one and tears started streaming down his cheeks
uncontrollably.

"Im sorryKate.