Khai Clardy

How to Be a Black Woman

In a Post-Racist Society

moja.

Keep your chin up,

Higher you have to achieve higher
Dont listen to the voices
In your head.
Remain calm,
You are not allowed to be angry
Smile. Be warm.
And while youre smiling,
Make eye contact
But dont stare too long
You dont wanna seem thirsty
Be hard.

mbili.

You dont need no man

Remember, youre mommy and daddy.
You are the spirit, the soul, and the backbone of the black man
That youve been trained to
Live without.
He has to be black.
You have to always accept him.
Dont challenge him
Dont mock him never ever
Submit to him.

tatu.

I know youre confused.

Pay attention.
You must love with your guard up,
Fight with your head up,
Sit with your breasts up,
But not too much
You dont want they
To get offended
They will call you sassy
Youre not supposed to be sassy,
But sass sells,
Your ass does too, so keep it plump
They love that shit.
Create styles and embrace
Culture, receive no credit from they.
The culture of the rose that was robbed and grew without soil.
The culture of transatlantic sins,
The culture of rape and acquisition of pride.

nne.

Take advantage of government assistance

Thats why you dont need a man
But make sure to visit
Your invisible / irrelevant /
Irresistible man in chains
Put money on his books
Keep his other woman and
Their kids away from
The family you unofficially started
Together.
You dont need nobody.

tano.

If you wear your natural hair, make sure it is styled properly.

Follow the hundreds of new natural hair care blogs
If youre gonna wear the hair that naturally grows from your
head, remember that it is a phenomenon and you are obligated to
educate the white folk on how long it took to braid.
8 hours.
How much it costs
Roughly 200 dollars.
How long it will last
2 months.
How you wash your hair
You dont.

sita.

Dont smile at otha sistas

Theyre all bitches
Stay sittin on ready
Because those bitches are
Your enemy.
Dont trust these hoes
Except your 1-3 hoe friends
Dont have any more than 3 hoe friends
Otherwise, youre a hoe.
3 is pushing it
Scratch that.
No hoe friends
Only love yourself
The rest are all haters.
Dont expect white men
To hold the door open for you.
Dont expect black men to give you your seat,
Or a fuck.

--How to Be a Black Woman

In a Post Racist Society