Poison in My Blood

Panting heavily I run for my life trying desperately to get away. (BL1) (BL2) I can hear the siren screams

(sound) as the red white and blue lights flash (LIGHT1) closely behind me. quickly closing the distance

between us. Suddenly my legs have frozen. All of my muscles clenched. My knees hit the ground first as

a trip and fall. Scrabbling to roll over (BL3) my panicked eyes gazing (EYES) into the lights that were

chasing me, now morphing into dark blue and black uniforms. I try to scream but no sound comes from

my mouth. I try to run but now the lights are gone and I am in a deep pit being choked by white powder. I

struggle to climb out of the pit. I cant breathe I am suffocating and thenI wake up.

I jolt forward shivering in a cold sweat. (BL4) It was just another dream. (DREAM) I sigh. Falling back

onto my soft, fluffy pillow. (Touch) It was my constant fear, that I would be found by the police and

arrested. Ever since I started with the drugs. But a lass I awoke to a normal morning in my miserable high

schooler life, living in the attic above my schools administrative offices. Yes thats right I live at school.

Pathetic. But I didnt have anywhere else to go. Long time ago my parents had kicked me out of the house

and all but legally disowned me.

I rub the sleep out of my eyes. Blinking them open and looking at the room around me. Beams of

sunlight (LIGHT2) are sifting through the blinds that cover the only window, giving the room a musty

haze. Looking at the floor where there are boxes full of neat little packages of various sizes and shapes, a

few of them packs of the high quality Snow. The rest just various things that I stilled had to sell in a

last attempt to get money to find a place to live. A faint smile crosses my face as I see these packages of

white (BL5) (OBS1). Rolling out of bed I walk over to the box and pull out one of the small bags of coke.

I cant help my cravings for the stuff. Its what keeps me going in this miserable life. But without the

thrill it gives me, without the high, I feel like dead man walking. I sometimes cant even feel the sun on

my face without it (LIGHT3) (OBS2).

I make my way across the dimly lit room, stepping over the stack of text books that serve as a make shift

table, to a mirror I have prop against a wall. (LIGHT4) I gave up on school a long time ago. The work

was just pointless and useless for someone in my situation. Not that I couldnt, the work just negated the

highs I had in life and I needed those. As I mechanically pour out and arrange the contents of the package

into neat lines, my hands start to run on auto pilot, as if I am being controlled by some invisible

puppeteer. (BL7)(CONTROL2)(BL6)

I look up and in the mirror I see my dull untrusting eyes staring back at me the sunken cheeks, on a long

horse like face making me seem older which goes right along with the thin build and spindly limbs like

the body of an old man. My dirty blond hair starts to stick to my face and theres a slight shine to my

sweaty skin. (BODY1) I breathe in through my mouth and close my eyes letting my chest swell with the

warm dry air. (BL8) turning my gaze towards my neatly arranged lines I think what life would have been

like if I hadnt gotten high that first time. If I had continued with school or been able to find work that

paid enough to keep the house. I shrug and inhale the lines anyways. No use wishing when the world is

against you. I rise and start to gather my stuff up to start the day.

No doubt I am already late for first block. How was I even still in school? I was always late didnt turn in

assignments. I took no joy in being here in fact the opposite I hated school it drove me crazy. I did have

friends in school at least. Almost all of them are a few years younger than me, most of them are just my

friends because I supply them with their various addictions. Im the one that got them started in the

wonderful world of drugs. (OBS3) They were like my little minions doing favors and home work for me

so that they could get drugs to impress there friends. I liked being able to use this sort of power over

them. It was immensely satisfying. I even got some of them started when they were freshmen. I would be

seeing them latter today in fact to exchange some new goods. (CONTROL1)(ASTRAY)

Before I leave I take inventory of my boxes scattered around my room counting how many there are. I

sigh and realize I should just get going. I shove some extra drug into my pocket for latter (OBS4) and

climb out of my makeshift room. I am greeted by a flood of sunlight streaming into the grey hallway
between cubicles of the school offices. As I walk down the narrow hallway towards the main section of

the school with all the classrooms the sun fades into an iridescent glow from artificial lights.

(LIGHT4)(LIGHT5) As I reach the hallway I am greeted by large posters that the art classes have put up

against drug abuse. (Sight) Sigh, how ironic. I start to walk down the hall and as I turn the corner standing

at the other end of the long hall is my beauty of a girlfriend. Again sigh. She was by far the prettiest girl

in the school. Her bright red hair shining in the morning sun, contrasting against her pale skin. (LIGHT) I

could just make out the freckles on her face and her lush red lips. (BODY2) She has her back turned to

me as she is having a conversation with someone who is just around the corner out of my line of sight.

This is when my heart drops two inches and alarms start to go off in my head. Who is she talking to?

What for? My footsteps quicken and as I she comes into hearing range I hear this.

NO! Max he has to stop this madness. Its too much. Hes been getting freshmen hooked on the stuff!

I know that at least one of them is falling behind in their classes because her older sister told me so! And

not to mention its dangerous for him too! He could kill himself or over dose or get caught! He cant keep

living like this or he will end up in some insane asylum or prison or...or...or worse! She says in an almost

comically exaggerated tone of concern.

Rosie Look, I know you are worried but its none of your concern. And I agree but I think that we need

to find another way to get him to stop and put effort into school again. How the freshmen are doing in

their classes is none of his concern. They are the ones buying the stuff anyways. So we cant just use that.

Because talking will not solve this situation Says the voice of my best friend Max. (RANT)

When I reach her I tap her on the shoulder. She jumps slightly and turns to look at me locking eyes with

me as she recognizes my face. (BL9) I almost feel a sense of guilt for listening in on her conversation or

even being worried about the conversation. Which, after hearing what she had said, made the white that

was in my pocket felt like it was lead. (EYES) (OBS5)

Hey doll face! Hows it going? You seem a little tense. Is Max here givin ya trouble? I said as I

leaned against a locker. (BL10) I already knew what was coming when she started her you should really

quit rant. She hated how I chose to sell drugs to the younger kids in school. (OBS6) But I full heartedly

agreed with Max, that I wasnt making anyone do anything. And what did I care school didnt care about

me I didnt care about school and no one was going to give a shit about who did what in high schoolFor

the most part. Maybe I was encouraging, them but that was all. And if they wanted to be like me, for

whatever reason, they would need some dope to get them there. (OBS7)

Jackson, we need to talk about yourhealth. I know that its hard for you to see it from my perspective

but. Her voice kept going but became muffled as I stopped listening. I was admiring her face and the

way she smelled like flowers (smell) and just everything about her. Remembering the times she had tried

to get me to quit. She tried so hard and she argued so many different points but she was missing one key

point. I didnt want to quit. I was tired of my life always being dull always being trampled and the drugs

helped my moods.

I sigh internally as I reminisce about how we had first gotten high together. About how she had later that

year quit because her parents had found my stash. (OBS8) We really shouldnt be together. She had a

future to look forward to where I did not. Suddenly I am aware of a silence around me. I blink myself out

of my day dream to find that my Girlfriend is staring at me expectantly.

She stares at me with a cold wide eyed expression of shock. (EYES) I had obviously missed something

important while she was talking. She repeated you value my opinion right? I am not just some sort of

eye candy for you right?!...Were you even listening to me?

Of course I am! Comes my reply. I can tell by the look on her face as she crosses her arms that she

doesnt believe me. (BL11) She shakes her head saying she better get to class and that I should as well.

(BL12) Her hair bounces in the midmorning sun as she walks away, like a waterfall of brown cascading

down her back. (LIGHT6)

I turn and see Max across the hallway. Good old Max. He was one of the few friends that was actually the

same age as me. He had known me for longer than I had been addicted to drugs and still hung out with me

even though I had problems. Because he ultimately had them to. He was druggy just like me. Because he

helped me cope with problems like losing my parents.

We both walk together down the hall when he turns to me and says

You know man I really do feel for you I do. The same thing has happened to me you know? But I really

think you should consider listening to Rosie My response is: What are you against me now? Do you

consider yourself a saint? I can do whatever I want and that s that. Sorry not sorry. I squint as we walk

through a patch of bright morning sun. (LIGHT7) And then we split up and went our separate ways.

After my first two classes I lost motivation to attend any of them. Instead I met a few kids behind the

bleachers and then at the back of the school to cut a deal. All this went well but as the day went on I

found my interest in the world around me grow weaker. Life just seemed pointless in this repetitive

environment every day in the same place in the same class listening the same materials.

The day wasnt abnormal in any way really this sort of drain on my energy levels throughout the day

happened all the time. It wasnt until later when Rosie told me that she thought we should be taking a

break for a while. Hey you know I really need some time to think. I just need to know that you can listen

to me and not only think of yourself. We need a break from each other. She really meant indefinitely

separate. I could tell by the way she hugged me after that she was saying goodbye. (BL13)

Leaving Rosie behind me felt like I was hollow yet made of lead at the same time. I walked back to the

offices where I was staying, half bent over so That any teachers still in the school wouldnt see my

shadow as it flickered across the walls. I climbed into the dark halls of the now empty office cubicles.

(LIGHT8) Once inside I open the little hatch in the ceiling that leads to the attic and climb into the small

space above that was my home. It is pitch-black, void of all light, and rank with a thick must. The air is so

thick that I can almost taste it. (Taste) I sit down on the blankets that make up my bed. (BL14) Reaching
into my pocket I pull out the little package that I had put there earlier and a new pack. (OBS9) Pouring it

all out onto the make shift table before me, I take a deep breath. I just needed to feel some sort of life after

the endless drain of the day. Maybe I can take enough to make it all just go away. I arrange the stark

white lines and inhale each one after another. I can feel the high now rushing through me it makes the

world and my problems fade away. I sit back onto the one pillow I have. I keep this pattern inhaling and

then sitting back and enjoying the high. I cant take much more of this. The darkness becomes more

intense around me and my vision goes black I cant see where I am and I am forced to stop my periodic

inhales as I try to regain control of my senses. I shudder and as the world seeps away and I lose the

feeling in my body I think what my life would have been had I not fallen in love with such a poisonous

powder had I found interest in my life. I lose my thoughts as I feel myself as drift into a deep sleep.

Wondering if I will be able to wake up the next morning.