Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story ;

cc con, b s k cho cc con 1 cu chuyn

the story of how I met your mother.
b gp m nh th no
Are we being punished for something ?
chng con b pht ?
No.
khng
Yeah, is this gonna take a while ?
c lu ko ?
Yes. 25 years ago, before I was Dad,
c. 25 nm trc, khi ta cn tr,
I had this whole other life.
ta c 1 cuc sng khc hn.
It was way back in 2005.
l nm 2005.
I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect
ta mi 27, bt u cng vic k s
and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college.
ta sng New York vi Marshall, bn thn t i hc.
My life was good.
cuc sng kh tt.
And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.
v ri ch Marshall ph hng mi th.
Will you marry me ?
em ci anh ch ?
Yes. Perfect !
ng. han ho !
And then you're engaged. You pop the champagne.
v ri cu nh hn. cu m sm panh.
You drink a toast.
bn cu ung 1 cc.
You have sex on the kitchen floor.
ri phang nhau trong bp.
Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.
ng phang nhau trong bp.
Got it.
ri.
Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
cm n cu gip t, Ted.
Dude, are you kidding ? It's you and Lilly.
cu a ? l cu v Lilly.
I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lilly :
t chng kin cc khonh khc quan trng ca cc cu :
night you met, your first date, other first things.
ln u gp, ln u hn h, ln u y y.
Yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.
uh, xin li. bn t tng cu ng.
It's physics, Marshall.
vt l, Marshall.
If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too.
ging di rung th ging trn cng rung.
My God.
i.
You're getting engaged tonight.
cc cu sp nh hn.
Yeah. What are you doin' tonight ?
th ti nay cu lm j ?
What was I doing ?
ta lm g ?
Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life.
ch Marshall ang lm vic quan trng nht ca i ngi.
And me ?
cn ta ?
I'm calling up your Uncle Barney.
ta gi ch Barney.
Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls ?
ny, cu bit t lun bn v gi lai ko ?
Well, now I've got a new favorite... Lebanese girls.
gi t c s thch mi.... gi li bng.
Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.
gi li bng l 1 loi lai moi.
Hey, you want to do somethin' tonight ?
ny, mun lm g ti nay ko ?
Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up !
ri, gp t bar trong 30' na. mc vt vo !
Where's your suit ?
vt cu u ?
Just once, when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit.
t chi mong cu lm theo loi t 1 ln.
I did that one time.
t mac 1 ln ri.
It was a blazer !
trng nh b !
You know, ever since college it's been, Marshall and Lilly and me.
t i hc, lun l Marshall,Lilly v t .
Now, it's gonna be Marshall and Lilly... and me.
gi, s l Marshall v Lilly... v t.
They'll get married, start a family.
h s ci, s c 1 gia nh.
Before long, I'm that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted.
v sau t s l 1 thng gi lp d m con h gi l ch Ted.
I see what this is about.
t bit chuyn ny ri.
Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met ?
cu qun m u gp nhau t ni g ?
Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live.
Ted, t s dy cu cch sng.
Barney. We met at the urinal.
Barney. mnh gp ch tiu.
Oh, right. Right.
Oh, uh. uh.
Lesson one : lose the goatee.
bi 1 : co ru.
It doesn't go with your suit.
ko hp voi b vt ca cu.
- I'm not wearing a suit. - Lesson two : get a suit.
- t ko mc vt. - bi 2 : kim 1 b vt.
Suits are cool. Exhibit "A."
vt rt tuyt. loi A
Lesson three : don't even think about getting married till you're 30.
bi 3 : ng ngh n m ci trc tui 30.
30. Right. You're right.
30. uh. cu ng.
I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged,
t ch ngh l, bn thn nht ca t sp nh hn
you start thinking about that stuff.
t bt u ngh v chuyn .
I thought I was your best friend.
t tng t l bn thn nht ca cu.
Ted, say I'm your best friend.
Ted, ni t l bn thn nht i.
You're my best friend, Barney.
cu l bn thn nht ca t, Barney.
Good. Then, as your best friend,
c. voi t cch l bn thn nht,
I suggest we play a little game I like to call
t ngh chi 1 tr chi nh c tn
- "Have you met Ted ?" - Wait. No, no, no.
- "bn gp Ted cha ?" - h. ko, ko, ko.
We're not playing "Have you met Ted ?"
chng ta ko chi tr
Hi, have you met Ted ?
cho, em gp Ted cha ?
Hi, I'm Ted.
cho, anh l Ted.
Yasmine.
Yasmine.
That's a very pretty name.
ci tn tht hay.
Thanks. It's Lebanese.
cm n. em t li bng.
I'm exhausted.
em mt qu.
It was finger-painting day at school,
em cho bn tr v bng tay trng,
and a five year-old boy got to second base with me.
v 1 thng nhc 5 tui sm s em.
Wow ! You're cooking ?
Wow ! anh nu g ?
Yes, I am.
uh.
Aw...
Aw...
Are you sure that's a good idea ?
anh chc y l hay ch ?
After last time, you looked really creepy without eyebrows.
ln trc, anh trng kinh tm khi b chy lng my.
I can handle this.
anh c th lo c.
I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.
anh s lm em bt ng.
So, there's more surprises ? Like what ?
c g bt ng ? nh l ?
Marshall was in his second year of law school,
Marshall ang hc nm 2 trng lut,
so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
v vy cu y ngh rt nhanh.
Boogedyboo !
Boogedyboo !
And that's all of 'em.
ch vy thi.
I'm gonna go... cook.
anh s vo... nu.
I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am.
anh rt vui v Marshall, thc s nh vy.
I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.
anh ko th ngh g lc ny.
So, do you think you'll ever get married ?
vy, anh c ngh anh s ci ko ?
Well, maybe eventually...
th, c l...
some fall day, possibly in Central Park.
1 ngy xun, c th Central Park.
Simple ceremony. We'll write our own vows.
l c n gin. cng nhau th hn.
Band, no DJ. People will dance !
ban nhc, ko DJ. mi ngi s nhy !
I'm not gonna worry about it !
anh s ko lo v iu !
Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged ?
kh tht, sao Marshall phi nh hn ch ?
Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh ?
Yeah, ko j tuyt vi hn 1 chng trai d nh nh hn, huh ?
- Actually, I think it's cute. - Well, you're clearly drunk.
- thc ra, em ngh n rt cu-te. ^^ - th , chc ti em say ri.
One more for the lady !
cho em ny thm 1 cc na !
Oh, hey, look what I got.
Oh, hey, nhn xem ny.
Oh, honey ! Champagne.
Oh, anh yu! sm panh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No. You are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.
i. anh ln ng ri cn s m sm panh .
- I'm not scared. - Then open it.
- anh ko s. - th m i.
Fine.
c.
Please open it ?
m h anh i ?
You are unbelievable, Marshall.
ko th tin c, Marshall.
There are two big questions a man has to ask in life.
2 cu hi ln m ngi n ng c trong i.
One, you plan out for months.
1, 1 cu bn ln k hoch hng thng tri.
The other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.
2, 1 cu bn ni khi say xn trong bar.
Will you marry me ?
em ci anh ch ?
You wanna go out sometime ?
em mun i chi ko ?
Of course, you idiot !
d nhin, ngc !
I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend.
em xin li, Carl l ngi yu em.
'Sup, Carl ?
j th, Carl ?
I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.
anh ha vi Ted mnh s khng lm th.
Did you know there's a Pop Tart under your fridge ?
hnh nh c ci bnh di t lnh ca anh ?
No, but dibs.
ko, ngi em c ny ln .
Where's that champagne ?
sm panh u ri ?
I wanna drink a toast with my fiance.
anh mun ung 1 cc voi v tng lai.
I don't know why I was so scared of this.
anh ko bit sao mnh li s m ci ny.
It's pretty easy, right ?
qu d ng ko ?
Why am I freaking out all of a sudden ?
sao mnh li vi th nh ?
This is crazy. I'm not ready to settle down.
tht in r. mnh cha sn sng .
How does Carl land a Lebanese girl ?
sao m Carl cua c gi li bng nh ?
The plan has always been don't even think about it until you're 30.
k hoch l ko ngh n ci xin trc 30.
Exactly. The guy doesn't even own a suit.
ng. hn cn ch c b vt no.
Plus, Marshall's found the love of his life.
Marshall c ngi yu trong mng.
Even if I was ready, which I'm not...
cho d t sn sng, cho d...
but if I was, it's, like, "Okay, I'm ready. Where is she ?"
nhng cho d t sn sng, th c y u ?
And there she was.
v c y y.
It was like something from an old movie,
ging nh my b phim c,
where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor,
1 thng thy th nhn thy gi xinh,
turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl ?
quay qua thng bn cnh, "thy em kia ko ?
I'm gonna marry her someday."
1 ngy no ta s ci em ."
Hey, Barney, see that girl ?
ny, Barney, thy em kia ko ?
Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty.
Oh, yeah. nhn l bit dm ri.
Go say hi.
qua cho i.
I can't just go say hi.
ko th n gin th c.
I need a plan.
mnh cn c k hoch.
I'm gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom,
t s ch c y i C,
then I'll strategically place myself by the jukebox...
ri mnh s ln ra ch ci i...
Hi, have you met Ted ?
cho, em gp Ted cha ?
Let me guess... Ted.
em on... Ted.
Sorry, Lilly. I'm so sorry.
xin li, Lilly. anh rt xin li.
- Take us to the hospital. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- a bon ti n bnh vin. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you hit her ?
anh nh c y ?
Hit me ? Please !
nh ti ? a !
This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun.
hn ch pht yu vo mng ti thi.
He's all like, "Oh, honey. Did that hurt ?"
hn nh l, "Oh, em yu. au khng em ?"
And, I'm like, "Come on ! Let me have it, you pansy !"
v ti ni, " lm g th lm i o l !"
- Wow, a complete stranger. - No, no, no, no ! It's okay.
- Wow, l qu nh. - ko, ko, ko, ko ! n m.
Go on.
tip i.
So, these, uh, spankings...
, sau ci pht yu...
you in pajamas or au naturel ?
c mc pijamas hay trn trung ?
So, what do you do ?
em lm ngh g ?
I'm a reporter for Metro News One.
ti l phng vin cho Metro News One.
Well, kind of a reporter.
uhm, 1 loi phng vin.
I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news.
ti lm tr vui lc cui bn tin.
You know, like, um...
nh l ...
monkey who can play the ukulele.
1 con kh bit nh n.
I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.
ti mun c 1 cng vic hay hn.
Bigger, like, uh... gorilla with an upright bass ?
hay hn, nh l... gorilla vi 1 ci trng ?
Sorry. You're really pretty.
xin li. em xinh qu.
Oh, your friends don't seem to happy.
Oh, bn em c v ko vui.
Yeah, see, the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend.
Yeah, uhm, c ngi gia mi b b .
So, tonight, every guy is "the enemy."
vy, ti nay, mi n ng u l "k th."
You know if it'll make your friend feel better,
nu em mun lm bn em vui,
you could throw a drink in my face. I don't mind.
em c th ht nc vo mt anh. ko phin u.
She would love that !
c y s thch lm !
And it does look fun in the movies.
v n s ging nh 1 cnh phim.
Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night ?
Hey, em mun n ti vo th 7 ko ?
Oh, I can't.
Oh, ko c ri.
I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday.
em phi i Orlando 1 tun t th 6.
Some guy's attempting to make the world's biggest pancake.
vi ngi lm ci bnh ln nht th gii .
Guess who's covering it ?
on xem ai lm tin ?
That's gonna take a week ?
mt 1 tun c ?
Yeah, he's gonna eat it, too. It's another record.
Yeah, hn s an n. s thm 1 k lc na.
Hey ! What's takin' so long ?
Hey ! sao lu th ?
Uh, I know this is a long shot, but how 'bout tomorrow night ?
Uh, hi vi v, nhng m ti mai th sao ?
Yeah. What the hell ?
Yeah. sao cng c ?
Jerk !
KHN !
That was fun.
vui qu.
De... wait for it... nied !
t... ch 1 to... chi !
Denied !
t chi !
We're goin' out tomorrow night.
bn mnh i n ti mai.
I thought we were playin' laser tag tomorrow night.
t tng mnh i bn la ze ti mai ch
Yeah, I was never gonna go play laser tag.
Yeah, s ko nh vy na.
The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
hm sau, ta a c y n qun ru Brooklyn.
That is one badass blue French horn.
ci kn php kia nhn hay tht.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sort of looks like a Smurf penis.
ging nh l ci ku .
Son, a piece of advice :
cc con, 1 li khuyn :
when you go on a first date, you really don't wanna say "Smurf penis."
trong cuc hn u tin, ng c nhc n "ci ku"
Girls don't ordinarily like that.
binh thng cc c gi ko thch iu .
But this was no ordinary girl.
nhng c gi ny ko c bnh thng.
Lilly ?
Lilly ?
How long have you been sitting there ?
anh ngi ?
Stupid eye patch.
em b che mt.
Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.
b, m, con nhn thy Ted Mby tng lai.
Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman ?
Marshall, c gi l tng ca mnh ntn ?
Now, let's see... she likes dogs ?
uhm, xem no... thch ch ?
I've got five dogs.
ti c 5 con ch.
She drinks scotch ?
ung ru scotch ?
I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.
ti thch scotch lu nm.
Can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters ?
c th trch 1 cu t "ghostbusters" ?
Ray ! When someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes !"
Ray ! khi ai hi anh l cha , anh ni"ng !"
And I'm saving the best for last.
v ti ni iu th v nht.
Do you want these ? I hate olives.
em n ko ? em ght liu.
She hates olives ! Awesome !
c y ght oliu ! tuyt !
The olive theory.
nh lut liu.
The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lilly.
nh lut liu da trn 2 bn thn ca ti: Marshall and Lilly.
He hates olives, she loves them.
anh y ght liu, c y thch chng.
In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple.
tht l, iu gn kt h vi nhau.
Perfect balance.
b tr hon ho.
You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
anh bit ko, em c 1 ti liu trong t lnh.
I could take 'em off your hands.
anh c th gii quyt n.
They're all yours.
ca anh ht y.
Oh, it is on !
Oh, bt u ri !
It is on till the break of dawn.
bt u n lc gay cn ri
But wait.
ch .
It's only the break of 10:30. What happened ?
mi c 10:30. chuyn g th ?
I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace.
em phi kim 1 ci kn php trn l si.
It's gotta be blue. It's gotta be French.
n phi mu xanh. n phi l hng php.
- No green clarinet ? - Nope.
- ko phi clarinet xanh l? - ko.
Come on. No purple tuba ?
khng phi kn tuba ?
It's a Smurf penis or no dice.
n phi ging nh 1 ci ku.
There you are !
c y ri!
We got a jumper.
c 1 thng nhy lu.
Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge.
1 thng in cu Manhattan .
Come on. You're coverin' it !
c s a tin v ny !
Um... all right. I'll be right there.
Um... c ri. ch ti 1 to.
I'm sorry.
em xin li.
I had a really great time tonight.
ti nay em vui lm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So ?! Did you kiss her ?
vy ?! c hn ko ?
No. The moment wasn't right.
ko. cha ng lc.
Look, this woman could actually be my future wife.
c gi ny c th l vo tng lai ca mnh.
I want our first kiss to be amazing.
mnh mun n hn u phi tht tuyt.
Aw, Ted, that is so sweet.
Aw, Ted, tht ngt ngo.
So you chickened out like a little bitch.
cu s sun chim vo ch g.
What ? I did not chicken out.
h ? ti ko sun.
You know what ?
bit ko ?
I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate
ti ko cn li khuyn ca cht
who hasn't been single since the first week of college.
k m cha tng c thn t i hc.
Anyone who's single would tell you the same thing,
bt k ai c thn s ko ni iu ,
even the dumbest single person alive.
k c thng ngu nht.
And if you don't believe me, call him.
v nu ko tin, gi hn i.
Hey, loser.
Hey, thng kh.
How's not playing laser tag ?
ko chi c thm khng ?
Because playing laser tag is awesome !
v bng sng la ze rt tuyt !
- Oh, I killed you, Conner ! - Don't make me get your mom !
- Oh, ti git cu ri, Conner ! - ng ti gi m cu !
Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something.
Hey, . ti cn li khuyn ca cu.
Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes.
ok. gp bar trong 15 pht na.
And suit up !
v mc vt vo !
So, these guys think I chickened out.
h ngh t s sun chim.
What do you think ?
cu ngh g ?
I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.
ko tin c cu vn ko mc vt.
She didn't even give me the signal.
c y ch ra hiu g c.
What, is she gonna, she gonna bat her eyes ayou in Morse code ?
h, c y phi nhy mt theo m Morse ?
"Ted... kiss me." No ! You just kiss her !
"Ted... hn em i." ko ! ch vic hn thi !
Not if you don't get the signal.
tr khi c du hiu t c y.
Did Marshall give me the signal ?
c phi Marshall a du hiu cho t ko ?
No ! I didn't. I swear.
ko ! khng phi. anh th.
But, see, at least tonight,
nhng t nht,
I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me,
t bit Marshall v ti,
never gonna happen.
ko yu nhau.
You should have kissed her.
cu nn hn c y.
Oh, I should have kissed her.
Oh, cu nn hn c y.
Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.
uhm, c th 1 tun na sau khi c y v t Orlando.
A week ? That's like a year in hot girl time.
1 tun ? ging nh 1 nm ca cc Hot Girl.
She'll forget all about you.
c y s qun cu.
Mark my words... you will never see that one again.
tin t i... cu s ko bao gi gp li c y.
There she is.
c y y.
Ooh ! She's cute. Hey, Carl, turn it up.
Ooh ! ngon qu. Hey, Carl, vn to ln.
...persuaded him to reconsider.
...thuyt phc hn ngh li.
At which point, the man came down off the ledge,
cui cng hn chu xung,
giving this bizarre story a happy ending.
1 kt thc c hu.
- Reporting from Metro One News... - Guy didn't jump.
- a tin t Metro One News... - hn khng nhy.
I'm gonna go kiss her.
ti phi hn c y.
Right now.
ngay by gi.
Look, dude. It's midnight.
ny, cu. na m ri.
As your future lawyer, I'm gonna advise you that's freakin' crazy.
t khuyn cu ko nn lm iu .
I never do anything crazy.
t cha lm iu g ngu ngc.
I'm always waiting for the moment, planning the moment.
t lun ch giy pht ny.
Well, she's leaving tomorrow.
uhm, mai c y s i.
This may be the only moment I'm gonna get.
y c th l c hi duy nht.
I gotta do what that guy couldn't.
ti phi lm iu g kia ko th.
I gotta take the leap !
ti s dm nhy !
Okay, not a perfect metaphor,
Okay, khng phi l 1 v d hay,
'cause for me it's fall in love and get married,
v vi ti l yu v ci,
and for him it's... death.
v vi hn... l cht.
Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.
l 1 v d tuyt vi.
By the way, did I congratulate you two ?
qun, t chc mng 2 cuh cha ?
I'm doing this.
t i y.
Let's go.
i thi.
- Word up. - We're coming with you.
- ch t. - t s i vi cu.
Barney ?
Barney ?
All right, but under one condition.
c, nhng vi 1 iu kin.
Look at you, you beautiful bastard. You suited up !
nhn cu i, trng chi lm. cu mc vt ri !
This is totally going in my blog !
ti s post len blog !
Stop the car.
dng xe.
Uh, pull over right here.
Uh, y.
I gotta do something.
ti phi lm vi th.
Excuse me. Pardon me. Just a sec'.
xin li. xin li.
Enjoy your coffee.
ung c ph i.
Go ! Go ! Go !
i i i
Everybody brings flowers.
mi ngi mang hoa theo.
Okay.
Okay.
Moment of truth.
giy pht quyt nh.
Wish me luck.
chc t may mn i.
Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter.
Ted s ca 1 c phng vin.
"This just in." Okay.
"tht l ngon." Okay.
Kiss her, Ted ! Kiss her good !
hn i, Ted ! hn ngt vo !
Kiss the crap outta that girl !
hn cht m n !
Marshall, remember this night.
Marshall, nh ly m nay.
When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech,
khi cu l bn thn nht ln pht biu trong l ci,
you're gonna tell this story.
cu s k chuyn ny.
Why does he get to be the best man ?
sao hn li l bn thn nht ?
I'm your best friend !
t moi l bn thn nht ny !
As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced through my mind.
khi bc ln ca, th hin ln trong u ti.
Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.
ko may,1 th m ti qun mt.
I've got five dogs.
ti c 5 con ch.
Not good. Not good.
ko hay. ko hay.
- No ! - Get back in there !
- ko ! - quay li y!
You're wearing a suit !
cu ang mc vt !
Ted ?
Ted ?
Hi.
cho
I was just, uh...
ti ch, uh...
Come on up.
ln y.
He's in.
bt u ri.
So...
vy...
Ranjit, you must have done it with a Lebanese girl ?
Ranjit, ng phang gi li bng cha ?
Okay, that's my Barney limit.
Okay, ti chu ri.
I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom.
ti phi tm ch i tiu.
Actually, I'm from Bangladesh.
thc ra, ti l ngi bng la t.
The women hot there ?
gi c ngon ko?
Here's a picture of my wife.
nh v ti ny.
A simple "no" would have sufficed.
1 cu "ko" l .
She's lovely.
i xinh th.
So, Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a suit ?
vy, Ted, sao anh n Brooklyn lc 1:00 sng voi 1 b vt?
I was just hoping to...
anh ch hi vng...
get those olives...
ly ci m liu...
that you said I could have.
em bo anh c th ly.
Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth ?
anh c mun anh vi 1 cht ru khng ?
Are you trying to get me drunk ?
em nh chuc ru anh y ?
For starters.
ch mi bt u thi.
So, Marshall, this olive theory, based on you and Lilly ?
vy Marshall, nh lut liu, l da trn cu v Lilly ?
You hate olives.
cu ght liu.
Lilly loves 'em. You can't stand 'em.
Lilly thich chng. cu ko th chu c chng.
Yeah. Hate olives.
Yeah. ght liu.
Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th street, dish of olives, you had some... what up ?
2 tun trc, qun bar TBN ph 79th , a liu, cu p ht... sao h ?
You have to swear that this does not leave this cab.
cu phi th ko ni cho ai bit.
- I swear. - I swear.
- ti th. - ti cng th.
On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad.
trong ln hn u, t n sa lt hy lp.
Lilly asked if she could have my olives.
Lilly hi t c n liu ko.
- I said, "Sure. I hate olives." - But, you like olives.
- t ni, "ko. anh ght liu." - nhng, cu thch liu.
Well, I was 18, okay ? I was a virgin.
uhm, t mi 18, okay ? lc t vn cn trinh.
Been waitin' my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives.
ch c i cho 1 c gi thch 2 qu liu ca mnh.
Marshall, I'm gonna give you an early wedding present.
Marshall, t s cho cu qu ci sm.
Don't get married.
ng ci.
I think I like your olive theory.
t ngh ti thch nh lut liu.
I think I like your new French horn.
anh ngh anh thch ci kn php.
I think I like your nose.
em ngh em thch ci mi ca anh.
I think I'm in love with you.
anh ngh anh yu em mt ri.
What ?! What ?! What ?!
h ?! h ?! h ?!
Come on, man, you said your stomach's been hurting, right ?
coi no. cu ni ang au bng ?
You know what that is.
cu bit l do m.
Hunger.
i
You're hungry for experience.
cu i v mun tri nghim.
Hungry for something new.
mun th th mi.
Hungry for olives.
thm mun liu.
But you're too scared to do anything about it.
nhng cu qu s iu .
Yeah, I'm scared, okay ?
Yeah, t s, okay ?
But, when I think of spending the rest of my life with Lilly...
nhng, khi ngh n kt hn vi Lilly...
committing, forever, no other women...
gn kt mi mi, ko ngi n b khc...
doesn't scare me at all.
t ko thy s na.
I'm marrying that girl.
t s ci c y.
Lilly.
Lilly.
Lilly, I like olives.
Lilly, anh thch liu.
We'll make it work.
mnh s gii quyt n.
So, Orlando. You gonna hit Disneyworld ?
vy, Orlando. em s n Disneyworld ?
You love me ?!
em ko th tin c anh ni th.
Why did I say that ? Who says that ?
ti sao anh ni ch ? ai ni vy ?
I should just go.
anh nn i.
Hold on.
ch .
Wait a minute.
ch 1 cht.
Promised you these.
em ha vi anh ci ny.
Olives. Thanks. I love you.
liu. cm n. yu em nhiu.
What is wrong with me ?
sao th nh ?
Why are we still sitting here ?
sao mnh vn ngi y? ?
Let's go. We can still make last call.
i no. lm li cui
What do you say, Lil ?
em ni sao, Lil ?
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum ?
Yo-ho-ho 1 cc ru RUM ?
'Cause you're a pirate.
v c nh cp bin .
Okay, eye patch, gone.
Okay, che mt, bin.
And we can't just abandon Ted.
ko th b Ted y c.
If it doesn't go well up there, he's gonna need some support.
nus c g ko n, mnh cn h tr.
It's been, like, 20 minutes.
khong 20' ri.
You think they're doin' it ?
cu c ngh h ang y ko ?
You think they're doin' it in front of the dogs ?
y trc mt l ch ?
Doggy style.
kiu ch (Doggy style.)
Hey, there was a girl in college, she had this golden retriever...
c 1 c gi i hc, c y c 1 con ch...
Okay, we can go to the bar. Just stop talking.
Okay, n bar thi. ngng ni chuyn i.
Hit it, Ranjit.
i thi, Ranjit.
So, when you tell this story to your friends,
khi em k chuyn ny cho ngi khc,
could you avoid the word "psycho ?"
em c th trnh t "thn kinh ?"
I'd prefer. "eccentric."
em thch ci ny hn. "tm thn lp d."
Good night... psycho.
ng ngon... thn kinh.
Great.
tuyt.
Um, how do I get to the F train ?
Um, n ga tu F i ng no ?
Oh, um, two blocks that way and take a right.
Oh, um, 2 dy nh ri r phi.
You know what ?
em bit ko ?
I'm done being single.
anh chn c thn ri.
I'm not good at it.
anh ko gii lm iu .
Look, obviously, you can't tell a woman you just met you love her.
thc ra . ko th ni yu khi mi gp c
But... it sucks that you can't.
nhng... ko ni cng ba hn.
I'll tell you something, though.
anh s k em bit.
If a woman... not you, just some hypothetical woman...
nu 1 c gi lp d no ...
were to bear with me through all this,
c th cung anh qua chuyn ny,
I think I'd make a damn good husband.
anh ngh anh s l 1 ngi chng tt.
Because, that's the stuff I'd be good at,
v l iu anh rt gii,
stuff like making her laugh and being a good father.
gii lm c y ci, lm 1 ngi chng tt.
And walking her five hypothetical dogs.
v dn 5 con ch i do.
Being a good kisser.
l ngi hn gii.
Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.
mi ngi u ngh mnh hn nhau gii.
Oh, I've got references.
Oh, anh ang hi kin em.
Good night, Ted.
ng ngon, Ted.
And I'm a good handshaker.
v l ngi bt tay gii.
That's a pretty great handshake.
ci bt tay tht tuyt.
And that was it.
vy y.
I'll probably never see her again.
c th mnh ko gp li c y na.
What ?
sao ?
That was the signal.
l m hiu.
That long, lingering handshake ? You should have kissed her.
ci bt tay y ? cu nn hn c y.
There's no such thing as "the signal."
ko c ci "m hiu" no c
But, yeah, that was the signal.
nhng, ng, l m hiu.
Signal.
m hiu.
Ah, Carl, thank you.
Ah, Carl, cm n.
Something I gotta do.
iu ti phi lm.
By the way, you should have kissed her.
nhn tin, cu nn hn c y.
Carl ! You guys weren't there.
Carl ! cc cu ko .
I am so turned on right now.
em m ri y.
Guys, trust me.
mi ngi, tin mnh i.
I've seen the signal.
mnh thy m hiu ri.
That was not the signal.
nhng y ko phi.
Yeah, Ted, we're not on you anymore.
Yeah, Ted, chng ti ko ng v pha cu na
- To my fiance. - To the future.
- v v tng lai ca ti. - v tng lai.
To one hell of a night !
cho 1 m kinh khng !
That was not the signal.
khng phi m hiu.
I asked her about it years later.
1 nm sau ta hi c y.
And, yeah, that was the signal.
v ng, l m hiu.
I could have kissed her.
ta nn hn c y.
But that's the funny thing about destiny.
nhng l iu bun ci v nh mnh.
It happens whether you plan it or not.
xy ra d bn mun hay ko.
I mean, I never thought I'd see that girl again,
c th, ta ko bao h gp li c y,
but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle
nhng ha ra ta bt u lm vo m trn
to see the picture that was forming.
ca 1 s sp t trc.
Because, that, kids, is the true story of how I met your Aunt Robin.
v, , cc con, l cu chuyn v s gp g ca ta v d Robin.
Aunt Robin ?
d Robin ?thought this was how you met mom ! b k chuyn gp m !
Will you relax ? I'm getting to it.
t t no ? sao phi vi.
Like I said, it's a long story.
nh ta ni, l cu chuyn di.