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CRUEL
CRAZY
FOOLS
REVEALED! KINGS
GET THE

AXE & QUEENS SPECIAL!

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O M G!
2 Sept - 29 Sept 2015
Issue 38

FIIGGHHTT!
Check out
Queen Vics
horrible pic!
Time to worship
the savage Saxons!

* YOUR
FREE CHILDS TICKET! *With full-paying adult
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 5
WELCOME !
This could be the most
horrible magazine ever!
Pick up your free childs
ticket to The Dungeons, and
a guide to historys craziest
fools. We reveal some putrid
LON makes
As Queen Elizabeth II veal
e re
punishments and give history this month, w tish
ri
lessons on how to speak the longest-reigning B me!
ll ti
like a vicious Viking! kings and queens of a
er, wheres
my crown?

3
witch

5
one am I?

HENRY III
REIGN: 1216-127
FOUL FACT: He
2
4 58
YEARS GEORGE III
REIGN: 1760-1820
n ry
sent his own
to the Tower
wife JAMES I FOUL FACT: Georges
of own son, the future
(JAMES VI
56
London, whe George IV, spread the
re OF SCOTLAND)*
the public th worst lies and rumours
rew YEARS REIGN: 1567-1625
rubbish at he about his madness.
r.
FOUL FACT: James was
afraid of witches, so
he watched some get
60YEARS
tortured in different,
horrible ways.
* James also became king of
England when childless Elizabeth
I, who reigned from 1558 to 1603,
died.

ON THIS 3 Sept, 1939 5 Sept, 1847

Britain and France Jesse James is born in

DAY declare war on Adolf the USA hell go on to

Hitlers Germany. be a famous outlaw in
the Wild West.
GEST RE IG N S
EVER!
10 SEPTEM

63
OF
NO WONDER

BE
AS

R
ENGLANDS SO
WET. IVE REIGNED

2
FOR AGES! YEARS &

63
YEARS &
217
216 DAYS
DAYS

IA
QUEEN VICTOR
REIGN: 1837-1901
spoke perfect
FOUL FACT: She nevecer stors, her
English! Like her
an QUEEN
as German.
native language w ELIZABETH II
REIGN: 1952-present
FOUL FACT: Her home,
QUICK QUIZ Buckingham Palace, was
Whos the sho
rtest-reigning
British bombed by the Nazis during
monarch of all
time? the Second World War.
a) King Edw
ard VIII
b) Queen Jan
e
c) Queen An
1554
ne
ign. executed in
ni ne da ys into her re dy Ja ne Grey, she was
just n as La
also know
Answer: b

7 Sept, 1533 8 Sept, 1888

Elizabeth I Mysterious Victorian
is born in murderer Jack the
Greenwich Ripper claims his
Palace. second victim.
Turn over for more horrible dates!
 GREAT FIRE OF LONDON
FIREY FACT!
Although the re devastated
London, it did help to bring
the plague under control by
killing lots of rats and eas.
The 1660s were a horrible
time to be a Londoner!
In September
its a real
trail blazer! 1666, much of London
was destroyed as a re
swept through the city.
Can you guide King Charles II
through the aming streets
to reach the safety of
Windsor Castle?

START

ON THIS 14 Sept, 1901 15 Sept, 1916 Tanks are rst

HORRIBLE
used in combat,
during the First
US president World War.
William McKinley
read these dies eight days
rotten reports! after being shot.
 FIREY FACT!
Lots of Londoners blamed French spies for
starting the re (even though it started
in a bakers shop in Pudding
Lane!) Many French people were FIREY FACT!
attacked in London as revenge. King Charles actually joined
the reghters in London and

ANSWER ON PAGE 35
ended up blackened by smoke
and soaked in water!

FINISH

20 Sept, 1519 22 Sept, 1828 28 Sept, 1066

Portuguese sailor The chief of the William the Conqueror
Ferdinand Magellan sets Zulus and founder lands in England and
sail for South America. of the Zulu empire, goes on to take
Only 18 of the 237 men Shaka, is killed by his control of the
survive the round trip. two half-brothers. country.
DRAW TO WIN!

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raining
In 1940, 75 years ago this month, the Blitz started with a load of German bombss!
down on Britain. Draw a brave Brit to win some explosive Horrible Science prize
DRAW HERE!

THE
is the pits

DID YOU The USA hired Nazi scientists after the Second World
KNOW? :DUWRKHOSWKHPEXLOGDURFNHWWR\WRWKHPRRQ
WIN!
ENTRY FORM
One winner will get a bundle - including Explosive
Experiments, Creepy Crystals, Really Rotten Experiments, and Blood, Bones
and Body Bits. Five runners-up will each get a Creepy Crystals kit! Send your
drawing to Horrible Histories Magazine, Science Competition, 44 Brook Green,
Hammersmith, London, W6 7BT or email the page to shout@hhmag.co.uk. www.galttoys.com
YOUR NAME.............................................................................................................AGE............................................
ADDRESS........................................................................................................................................................................
..............................................................POSTCODE...........................TELEPHONE NUMBER....................................

on 7 October 2015. 1. You can enter if you live in England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland or the Channel Islands, but not if someone who lives in your house works for the Immediate Media Company. 2. By entering the competition, you accept that Immediate
Media Company London Limited (address below), as the publisher of Horrible Histories Magazine$akl`]hjgegl]jg^l`ak[geh]lalagfYf\hjgeak]lgmkl`Ylqgm`Yn]j]Y\l`]k]jmd]kYf\l`Ylqgmoadd^gddgol`]e&+&O][Yflaf[dm\]]flja]ko`a[`Yjjan]lggdYl]
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 CUT OUT YOUR PUTRID POSTER!

POSTER
THIS
RO M A N
ITS
FUNNY,
YOU LOT!

BEST!
Roman emperor JULIUS
CAESAR (100-44BC) was
famous for having a large,
distinguished nose. He certainly
nose his place in Horrible Histories
after becoming very unpopular
with his people, 23 politicians
stabbed Caesar to death. The
nal attack was from his
friend Brutus!
 -k in gs an d qu ee ns ba tt le d it out for the
Ex ries,
singing crown in the latest TV se ?
but which song was YOUR fave

DID
YOU KNOW?
Both Victoria and her
husband, Albert, could
play the piano and
sing well!

QUEEN VICTORIA KING ALFRED HENRY VIII

SONG: Empress of India SONG: Im Out Of Town SONG: A Little More
A BIT LIKE: A classic A BIT LIKE: Ed Sheerans Reformation
Lego House A BIT LIKE: Elvis Presleys
Bollywood song
BEST BIT: Prefer the BEST BIT: Im in retreat, A Little More Conversation
dont want to end up as BEST BIT: A little less
Isle of Wight for my
Viking meat! pope, a lot more cake!
Indian summer!
YOUR RATING: /10
YOUR RATING: /10 YOUR RATING: /10
DID
YOU KNOW?
Marys best friend was an
Italian musician. Marys
husband murdered him
due to jealousy!

BOUDICA GEORGE III

MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS
SONG: Wreck Em All SONG: Court Life
A BIT LIKE: Miley Cyrus SONG: Marys Rhapsody
A BIT LIKE: Blurs
Wrecking Ball Park Life A BIT LIKE: Queens
BEST BIT: Rather than Bohemian Rhapsody
BEST BIT: Not sold on
end up dead, Romans court drama, frankly BEST BIT: Im queen, youre
WXUQHGDQGHG calmer as a dairy farmer! vile, I demand a fair trial!

YOUR RATING: /10 YOUR RATING: /10 YOUR RATING: /10

 WHO ARE YA?
Use the clues to s
guess who is being altiecker
rt
talked about!
100% YES!
1
KING JOHN
SONG: Magna Carta Use your
STICKERS here
Rap Battle
A BIT LIKE: An old-
school rap face-off
BEST BIT: Ill agree to
your skanky scroll. Im I was a rotten Russian leader
who faced more assassins than any
tired of this game, its other ruler! I was finally killed in
time for me to roll! 1881 when a protester threw a
bomb at me in the streets
YOUR RATING: /10
2
Use your
IVE GOT THE STICKERS here
AXE FACTOR!

I was a bit of a foolish explorer!

In 1492 I set off to find China, in
the east, by travelling west and I
landed in America!

3
NQUEROR
WILLIAM THE CO
SONG: Norman Style Use your
am Style STICKERS here
A BIT LIKE: Psys Gangn
d hair cos
BEST BIT: Weve got ba wear!
we
of the chainmail that
YOUR RATING: /10
About 2,500 years ago I began
writing the first real history
Catch the Horrible Histories Songs books. Without me, horrible history
Special on BBC iPlayer! would be very different!

ANSWERS:
1 Alexander II, 2 Christopher Columbus, 3 Herodotus
 F UN NY

H ISTOR IC
P ETS !
Smile for
the camera!

These kings were potty

about their animals!

HORSING

almost killed him. He

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race on horses!

Why the .LQJ *HRUJH ,9 NHSW

long face? a private zoo in Windsor,
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in 1827 by the Pasha of
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the hump... upset when it died that
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room and ripped up his diaries.
10 Bad monkey!
 READER O FFE R DID Y
K
In Tudor NOW?
OU
ente times m
red t an y pris
boat thr he Tower of Lo oners
ough a s ndon b
Today is your lucky day, because were giving called T pecial entran y
raitors
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 stic
ker
aler
t

ro ng stomac h for th is qu iz. Us e your stickers to

Youll need a st ie s are re al or m ade up!
guess whether these gory stor

PELTED!
keep an eye
out for me! 1
In 1012 the Archbishop of Canterbury
was captured by Vikings and then
they asked his friends for money for
2 BLINDED!
Emperor Basil II, from Turkey
his safe return. When the Archbishop
refused to allow his friends to pay the
money, the Vikings threw logs at him
, crushed until he died.
the Bulgarians in battle in 10
14.
He captured 15,000 prisoners
and
blinded 99 of every 100 of th
em, leaving
a one-eyed prisoner in each gr
oup to
lead the rest back to their ru
ler.

4 HANGED!
3 ! from 1644 t

women f hang on,

00s, became please!
who lived in the 14
Impaler after
known as Vlad the
s enemies
impaling loads of hi em on
th
(that means sticking
a spike). Gross!
 5 BEHEADED! TALK LIKE A
executioners axe in Britain wa
Fraser in 1747, for treason. Sh
s Simon
ortly
VIKING!
fold for
before his execution the scaf
20
spectators collapsed and killed Vikings spoke in Old Norse
arious.
people, which Simon found hil and now you can too!
h your
Thats where the saying laug
head of f comes from.
Gothan dag.
Gaman at hitta thik
Meaning: Good day.
Pleased to meet you.

hey you, That gengr illa

come ere! Meaning: It is going badly.

Ek kem fra
Meaning: I come from

Ek heiti
Meaning: My name is

Hvat heitir thu?

Meaning: What is your name?

Far vel!
Meaning: Goodbye!

6 GUILLOTINED! word up guys!

estimated 4,000 people were killed by having

their head
chopped
off by the
guillotine.
the total was actually around 40,000
the deaths of 300 women, 5 PUNISHING TRUTH, 6 PUTRID LIE
TRUTH, 4 PUTRID LIE hes believed to have been responsible for
then struck with an axe, 2 PUNISHING TRUTH, 3 PUNISHING
ANSWERS 1 PUTRID LIE he was pelted with cattle bones and
 SAVAGE If Queen Victoria and
King Edward III had

!
mobiles, they mightve

SELF I E S posted something like this

Queen Edward IIIs

Victoria survived
seven attempts to assassinate
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ERQQHW DQG QRW to shout@hhmag.co.uk. The best
(well, the worst if you know what we mean!)
14 DFURZQ
will appear in Horrible Histories magazine.
 Stay away
from stupid!

HELP! MY TROUSERS
HAVE FALLEN DOWN

Have you seen Mr H

in the new Horrible
Histories TV series this
summer? Hes always
joking about crazy fools
back in time check him
out on BBC iPlayer!
History is crammed full of crazy fools
here are just three to start you off

1 The Prussian commander during the Battle of

Waterloo, Gebhard von Blucher, thought he was what?
A. An alien from space 
B. Haunted by ghosts 
C. Pregnant with an elephant

2 Zhengde, a Chinese emperor in the 1500s,

was injured doing what?
A. Letting tigers loose in his home 
ing
Crazy k ed!
Ethelr
B. Trying to y off a cliff 
C. Fighting a panda

3
ANSWERS: 1 C, 2 A, 3 A

What did rival forces do before the naval

Battle of Lepanto in 1571?
A. Have a dance-off 
B. Juggle with fruit 
C. Play Monopoly

INSIDE...
 This lot werent thinking straight and made
some of the biggest mistakes ever!

CLEVES ME
SINKING A SHIP! ALONE!
The sinking of the Titanic in 1912 was a disaster, but it When Henry VIII saw a painting
wasnt the biggest fail. The biggest error was failing to of Anne of Cleves he thought
put enough lifeboats to rescue all of the passengers she was pretty hot, so they got
meaning 1,517 people died in the ocean. married in 1540. However, just six
months later he had the marriage
annulled, because when he met her
in real life he thought
she was really ugly!

GETTING
CAUGHT! RUINING great plan,
not!

Guy Fawkes and his gang AN EMPIRE!

were all set to blow up parliament on
5 November 1605. But then one of the
plotters, Francis Tresham, wrote to his
him not to go to parliament it gave
sent out to nd the gunpowder.
Alexander the Great built a huge,
powerful empire in his lifetime, but
then failed to name a successor to look
after it once hed died. So after Alex
passed away, other rulers simply
divided the empire up. Whoops.

Why was the broom late?

What was the rst Why did Horatio
thing that Richard III Nelson need extra HA! H A!
did after coming soap on his ship? Where was the Magna
to the throne? So he could wash Carta signed?
Sit down! HA ! himself ashore!
H A! At the bottom!
 HISTORYS
CRAZIEST
FOOLS!
epic fails,
guys!

give me a
minute!

UNREADY
FOR AN
ATTACK!
Saxon King Ethelred II was

its claimed that he wasnt

FORBIDDING
HELP!
Scary Russian leader Josef
Stalin would punish people for
entering his room, so when
he failed to leave his room
for a long time on 1 March
1953, guards were too scared
to go in and check on him.
Eventually someone did, but
it was too late he was soaked
in his own pee, unconscious
and about to die.

H A! HA!
What do you Why did Henry What was King
get if you cross a VIII have so
Scottish legend many wives? game?
and a bad egg? He liked to Knights and
The Loch Ness chop and change! crosses!
Pongster! H A! HA !

HEADING FOR
TROUBLE!
This Roman emperor murdered his
rst wife, Octavia, and sent her head
to the house of his new girlfriend!
GOD,
I AM
GREAT!
What a manic monarch
this guy was his people
said he lacked a few brain
cells after he declared he
was the ancient god Hercules
and had returned to Earth!
18
stic
ker
aler
t
I smiled once.
didnt like it
FISHY
FELLOW!
As a punishment, this Roman
ruler had a sherman
smothered and rubbed in
dead sh and crab. Water
terrible way to behave!
CRIME
DOESNT PAY!
This emperor was kidnapped
by pirates but he complained
that the ransom money
demanded for his release
was too low. The pirates
had to raise the ransom!
 They couldnt BYE, BYE
EVERYONE
hit an elephant at
this distance
John Sedgwick, US Civil War General
He thought the enemy couldnt hit him
he was wrong. He was shot dead seconds later.

Im bored
I live! with it all
Roman Emperor Caligula
Winston Churchill
No, Caligula, you were being killed by The ex-Prime Minister, and war
your own Roman soldiers. Doh! hero, wasnt too upset to be dying!

ER, NO I
DIDNT!

It is
uttered these nal words
nothing
Archduke Franz Ferdinand
You will show my time to It wasnt nothing, Franz the
SHOOT off!
head to the crowd. It
is worth seeing
Georges Danton, executed in the French Revolution
He obviously thought he had a pretty face!

QUICK QUIZ a +LJKZD\PDQ 'LFN 7XUSLQ

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DUH IRU IRROV ZKR KDYHQW VDLG HQRXJK" c 3KLORVRSKHU .DUO 0DU[
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19
 take a
deep sniff!

thought could cure disease and illness! Can you nd them all?

CAN YOU FIND... M Y N L T W

Q F S C W E W P P H A P Z F
E O R Z P R
R Q E E S E T R W L V X C E
MUSTARD B O Q Z H R
A mustard and
S Y N P Z B P M S O N M V N onion mixture,
MAGPIE BEAK R B I I W C
N O D O P E O J J E L S O N stuffed up
TREACLE A J L C I B your nose, was
P A B Q S I Q C M H D H Y P believed to cure
PEE M D U T K Q G B C X O W T B
Q V I S Z A
a blocked-up
FROG H U O W P K S S Y A W O N Y
K F M X R C
BACON FAT I C E T E O
E W Z N Z X B E E T L E J U
BEETLE JUICE T F S O M N
A M K J K Z Q O S Y V X D P
B V T X R F
DONKEY SKIN A T A B W E O T L I E R G A
N R O R C A
PIGS EYE E S B G I P Y F V B L D O X
S W N Z Z T
GARDEN SHRUBS C Y U A P Q M S R V D S F F
O D E W W B
HONEY S X P R Q I O F K H I Y T B
V C F Y X C
LIMESTONE Q M F O P D E Z J I I U K T LOOK AT
K E Q Q Q D U B C U N H D K
R I V P Q K THESE
Z E X I Z A WICKED
W A L R K G I R E G M M M P WORDS!
I J A H K V
H T O P E E T E E A N T Q S
M L V C M Q
I G V E V I K X Z R K U Q V
I C E Q L G
A M K Y L J U J L D O Q J A The Egyptians
V Q T S H E mashed a pigs
Q U U U E B I K F E C W I C eye with honey
K N J S C H
X S P S H T U S S N F Q X R and powder, then
L F X C K D
S Q G H T V K P N S R S J W poured it into a
E P Z I J J patients ear to
J M F S O A Q P S H O K W K
Doctors in the E U U N X B treat blindness!
Q S A T H I R J O R G G A Y
Middle Ages W W S P V T
believed washing R L T I A V A D A U F W E H
V R Y K L Z
your hair in a G U D H W O N V D B B A J S
boys pee could W M G G P H
T O L F O B E L Z S Z P T O
prevent ringworm
an itchy skin
condition. Urgh! ANSWER ON PAGE 35
100% ACCU-RAT!
 GO D COMPARE
The Saxons na
!
med the days of the week after gods (as we ll as planets) GOD
. Check this out COMPAAAAARE!
who each had a day when they were worshipped

?
OU KNOW
DID Y r, was
iw, t h e G od of Wa one
T only
own with
usually sh use it was said
a
hand, bec the other
a w olf bit
one off!

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY

Moons day the day Tiws day the day of Wodens day the day of
of the moon! the God of War, Tiw! the Chief God, Woden!

OU KNOW
? SATURDAY
DID Y eve Saturns day the day
ed to beli
Saxons us de a chariot
or ro of the Roman god,
that Thun ulled along
p
that w s ts!
a Saturn!
by goa

THURSDAY FRIDAY SUNDAY

Thunors day the day of the Freyjas day the day of Suns day the day
God of Thunder, Thunor! the Goddess of Love, Freyja! of the sun!

O My G h
My real name:
od! Just for fun, imagine you are a god of
something and make up what your day
of the week would be known as.
My god name:
Sax A
lot of
gods!

What would you be the God of?

Burps Sport Weather Animals Trouble Death Cartoons Football

Your (made up)

day of the week:
 t...
Six thin

BROTHER
ow Nice to BOTHER!
meet you! Harold even battled with his
4 treacherous brother, Tostig. Just
a few days before the Battle of
Hastings in 1066, Harolds army
bashed Tostig and his Viking pals.
Tostig was cut to pieces when he
refused to surrender.

DREADFUL DAY!
The Battle of Hastings in 1066, where King TATTOO TAG!
Harold lost the English crown to William the
1 Did you know that King Harold had
Conqueror, lasted just one day. Harolds brothers lots of tattoos? After his gory death
Gyrth and Leofwine were also killed in the in 1066, his tattoos were actually used to
fearsome ght.
5 help identify his body!
 HEADS I WIN!
Harold married Edith, the widow
of one of his enemies. This was
after Ediths previous husband CRAZY
2
had his head cut off and given to ABOUT
Harold as a putrid present! 6 EDITH!
Harold was married twice, both
times to women called Edith
THANK YOU but his rst wife was also known
BURY MUCH! as Edith Swanneck! One of
Harolds sisters was also called
Edith, so clearly he loved
that name!
GOLDEN BOY!
After Harold was hacked down
3 at the Battle of Hastings by
Williams troops, his mum
offered his weight in
gold for her sons
body. She wanted
to bury Harold
QUICK QUIZonqueror
properly, but m e ss ag e d id William the C ch?
Wha t st one on the bea
William said no and ro ld s g ra v e
buried him on the write on Ha
y o u re st h e re to guard the
shore under a pile Harold,
of stones. sea and shore land
re st h e re w hile I claim Eng
 Harold, you m
, y o u m u st ti dy your bedroo
and shore!
Answer: Guard
the sea
Harold
 CRUEL COMPETITIONS

WIN ETS!

LEGO AND THE LEGO LOGO ARE TRADEMARKS OF THE LEGO GROUP. 2015 THE LEGO GROUP
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On 10 September 2015, how could Elizabeth II become a record breaker?

?
Win code: 8754 k A. Shell run a marathon in a record time
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Email: 8754@hhcom tober 2015
Closing date:11:59pm
6 Oc B. Shell become the longest-reigning monarch
ENTER
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TO W
W
AT
I
CH
N T
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IC
RR
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IB
E T
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HI STO RI ES LIVE!
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What happened for the rst

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ail
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k

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 COLOURING

SOLDIE R dear
mum...

SCRIB BLE ! of this poor

olou r to the life
Help bring some c r. Hes scribbling a note to his
ie
First World War sold ible life is in the trenches, so
rr
family about how te cils out and brighten his day!
n
why not get your pe

T S N O T
T H A E !
E R Y L I C
V
At the Gallipoli battles in
1915, soldiers were forced
to wear the same clothes
for weeks without even
taking them off!
One Australian
soldier nally got
to take his socks
off but when
he put them on
the oor, the socks
moved because of
all the lice wriggling
inside them!

25
 R AT
Having
fun with your OI, US RATS
AINT ROTTEN!
rat grabber toy
with this issue? Well
check out these foul
facts about the furry
fellas!

FRENCH
SECRET! SHHH!

In February 1944,
French freedom
JKWHUV EDWWOLQJ LQ
the Second World
War planned to kill as
many German secret

HUNGRY police as possible.

The code word for th
is

HORROR! attack was rat week.

Roman emperor Elag

abalus
was an evil ruler. O

SAVAGE SHIP!
ne of his
cruel tricks was to m
ake a slave
collect 500kg of spid
ers webs There were usually more rats on a pirate ship than
when the slave fa
iled he was pirates! Rats chewed everything onboard and spread
eaten alive by starvi
ng rats! disease. One Spanish ship sailing from Europe to South
America reported killing 4,000 rats on that one journey!

RAT ATTACK! QUICK QUIZ

Rats were everywhere in the trenches Which people played a cruel game called
of the First World War there were ratting , where bets were placed on how
tens of thousands of them. Some many rats a dog could kill in a large rat pit?
soldiers believed rats knew when
enemy bombs were about to land in  Vikings
the trenches as they sensed danger  Victorians
and ran away!
Politicians IM OFF!
SPOT THE STONE-AGE Can you nd all TEN
this
rocks!

DIFFERENCES! differences in this savage

Stone Age scene?

ANSWER ON PAGE 35

I SPOTTED
Ancient humans hunted a lot of animals, like the
mammoth, to extinction but they loved dogs. Dogs
were really helpful with hunting and when they died, DIFFERENCES
27
 The time has come! We asked YOU to vote,
on PopJam, on the biggest royal questions
ever and here are the results
WHOS THE MEANEST
MONARCH OF ALL TIME?
WHOS YOUR FAVOURITE
MONARCH OF ALL TI ME? 1
YOUR VOT ES Queen Mary I 57%
2
1 King Henry VIII 32%
Queen Elizabeth II 45% 3
2 Queen Victoria 6%
Henry VIII 18% 4
QUEEN ELIZABETH II 3 King John I 3% BLOODY MARY
Queen Victoria 17% 5
Queen Mary I had
The queen is the most
popular monarch ever! 4 King Richard III 2% killed
so many people
Maybe its because she has Queen Elizabeth I 13% in her reign
that she gained
sent over 37,500 Christmas the nickname
cards during her reign! 5
William the Conqueror 7% YOU SAY: Bloody Mary.!

YOU SAY:

write your votes!

WHATS YOUR THE MAGNA CARTA
King John I signed the
WHICH OF THESE Magna Carta, which stated

IS THE BIGGEST
that the king must follow
the laws of the land
1
Victorian 50% ACHIEVEMENT? although he was forced to
by the people!
2
Tudor 33% 1
3
Signing the Magna Carta 46%
Saxon 7% 2
4
Winning the Battle of
Georgian 6% Hastings in 1066 27%
5
Stuart 4% 3
Winning the Wars of
the Roses in 1485 12%
YOU SAY:
4
Elizabeth I stabilising the throne
after era of uncertainty 12%
5
Henry V winning the Battle
VICTORIANS
The era that saw the
of Agincourt in 1415 3%
rst public ushing
toilet has pulled the YOU SAY:
28 chain on the rest!
 a royal
minion? YOUR
ha, ha!
SHOUT!
These horrible readers reveal

VOTE!
who they think is the best
monarch ever

My favourite monarch is
Henry VIII, because he seems
cool and not very posh
WHICH OF THESE WOULD
MAKE THE BEST KING?
1
A minion 76%
2 CHARLIE
Simon Cowell 11%
3
Len Goodman 5% My favourite monarch is
Queen Victoria, because
4
Wayne Rooney 4% she is the longest reigning
monarch although
5 Elizabeth II may overtake her!
Alan Sugar 4%
YOU SAY:

just
LD for
STELLA
fun!
Henry VIII, because he has an
interesting story behind him
1
Taylor Swift 37% and he is really cool and
funny in the sketches!
2
Marge Simpson 26%
3
Cinderella 23%
4
Rita Ora 11%
5
Darcey Bussell 3% FRANKI

YOU SAY:

Follow @HorribleHistoriesMag
DYING TO VOTE
on the free app PopJam for more
In 1913, Emily Davison died when she threw herself votes, jokes and fun facts!
under the kings racing horse she was protesting
against women not being allowed to vote. In 1928,
women over 21 were nally allowed to vote.
TURN
OVER
for more
rotten
readers!
 WIN!
Every entry
wins a new
LEGO Mixels

LEGO,the LEGOlogo,
trademarksof the LEG and MIXELS are
LEGO.com/Mixels The LEGOGroup. AllrOGroup. 2015
igh
TM & 2015 Cartoon tsreserved.
Network.

RATTUS HAS BLIPP-ARRRGH

A VISITOR! PIRATES!
Ever wondered whats These rotten readers used the Blippar app, with
inside the home of issue 32, to turn themselves into putrid pirates
Horrible Histories
host Rattus? Well, this
picture seems to show
that its reader Dylan!

CAN YOU
tidy MY
bedroom,
DYLAN?

Evie Ghostly

FIERCE FACE!

Charlie
Rachel &
Annabell

Dont worry, Aurora

CRUEL COLLECTION!
William has even surprised himself at how
isnt really ill shes
just pretending! Right,
Aurora? Aurora? Wake up!
Join the fun! Turn back
to page 7 to create your
own Blipp!
good his Horrible Histories collection is! Catherine

CONTACT! shout@hhmag.co.uk Horrible Histories, Vineyard House, 44 Brook Green, London W6

FOLLOW! Were on PopJam search for @HORRIBLEHISTORIESMAG!

 ADVERTISEMENT

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 THE DAILY EGYPT
Use your stickers to
complete these
imaginary
headlines about
pharaohs!
Use your
1 SHOCK! PHARAOH HATSHEPSUT IS A... STICKERS here

2 WOW! TUTANKHAMUNS WIDOW MARRIES A...

Use your
STICKERS here

OH MY
PHARAOHS ENTERTAINER Use your WORD!
3 PUTS HEAD BACK ON... STICKERS here

4 CLOSE! THUTMOSE III NARROWLY Use your

ESCAPES BEING KILLED BY... STICKERS here

Use your
5 EGYPTIAN SHAME! CLEOPATRA IS A... STICKERS here

SAVAGE SAC RI F I C E S
Incas were barmy! They sacriced a lot of people and things for
their gods. Can you match the right sacrice to the occasion?
Before a To make the sun
1 big battle... 2 appear every day...
Use your Use your
STICKERS here STICKERS here

At a To keep the
3 wedding... 4 gods happy...
Use your Use your
32 STICKERS here STICKERS here
 ANSWERS! THE DAILY EGYPT: 1 WOMAN - but she or a wizard
disguised herself as a man, 2 WRINKLY - she married Being a witch
her grandad, 3 GOOSE - the magician is even supposed
to have brought the goose back to life, 4 ELEPHANT
- Thutmose was almost trampled to death by a herd of
them, 5 GREEK - even though she was the last active
STICKERS here
pharaoh of ancient Egypt. SAVAGE SACRIFICES: 1 Use your
thousands of llamas, 2 corn, 3 one innocent kid, 4 two
llamas in red. INCA CRIME & PUNISHMENT: 1 beaten then
eaten by birds, 2 burned, 3 put in a cave, 4 stoned. BOU

=
WHO? 6 , 1 0 , 1 2 , 3 , 5 , 1 3 , 8 , 1 1 , 2 , 1 4 , 7 , 9 , 1 , 4 .
4
STICKER the emperor
Treason against
STICKER
STICKERS here
Use your
STICKER

=
3
STICKER
STICKER laws of gods
Going against the
STICKER
STICKERS here
Use your
STICKER

=
2
STICKER
STICKER
government worker
if youre a
STICKER Killing an assistant,
STICKERS here
STICKER Use your
=
STICKER 1
STICKER
PUNISHMENT... CRIME...
they committed these crimes?
STICKER What punishment did Inc
get if
put her back together again!
PUNISHMEasN T
up by the Romans use your stickers to CRIME AND
Celtic warrior Boudica has been chopped t
aler
INCA
ker
stic
WHO?
BOU
OF SORTS!
IM A BIT OUT
 KING HENRY VIII WANTED A DIVORCE FROM CATHERINE
OF ARAGON SO HE COULD MARRY ANNE BOLEYN.
hey pope,
im not happy
with you! I pray for a
peaceful outcome.
Doubt it, though

HENRYS
RELIGIOUS
REBELLION! BUT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, LED BY THE POPE, WOULD NOT ALLOW IT!

SO, IN 1534 HENRY BROKE FROM THE CATHOLICS AND SET UP THE HENRY CAN NOW ENJOY BEING MARRIED TO ANNE.
CHURCH OF ENGLAND TAKING THE CHURCHS MONEY WITH HIM!

what the...?!
Hello wifey!

Hello big
Give me that bible, fat hubby!
Mr Monk. And
your cash

SOME PEOPLE WHO DIDNT SIGN UP TO THE WERE PUNISHED AND EVEN EXECUTED! HAPPY DAYS! LETS JUST HOPE ANNE CAN GIVE HENRY THE SON HE WANTS
NEW RELIGION, LIKE SIR THOMAS MORE

Sign here!
Time to
head off!

Did you see

how sharp the Gulp!
executioners
axe is, my dear?

being my
QUICK QUIZ
wife is In 1536, which of these foul things
dead good!
happened to Henry?
a) +LV UVW ZLIH GLHG DQGKLVVHFRQG
wife was executed
b) He dropped his crown in a pile of pig poo
c) He ate a poisonous mushroom pie
34 Answer: a (he also married his third wife in the same year!)
 NEXT ISSUE of ...

PU T RID
P I RA T E
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SKULLR
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WRITE TO: Horrible Histories Magazine, Vineyard House, 44 Brook Green, London W6 7BT TEL: 020 7150 5688 EMAIL: shout@hhmag.co.uk

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STONE-AGE DIFFERENCES!
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