Peer Review

Reader: Lee Jek Ann

Writer: Firdaus Ismail

1 The writer uses a lot of strong vocabularies. The story is pretty solid and

interesting too.

2 Paragraph 4. The climax starts when the race begins

Yes, it describes every detail about the scene, the mood of the surrounding,

the feeling of his competitors and himself perfectly.

Naming

A field in his boarding school. It is the main location for the whole story.

His teammate also the competitor, Shahbaz

Detailing

Field- the biggest field ever in the district which can occupied 2 rugby field, 2

dodge ball court and 1 full size soccer court yet not even a single pitch was

used on that sport day. About 5 meters outside the racetrack, there are 4

booths established for all colors of sport home.

Shabbaz- has a big, strapping, tanned body and brown eyes with spectacles

was a flanker in our school rugby team.

Comparing

Similes: like a shepherd unleashing the cows from their shed

Metaphors: Emptying the oxygen tank

5 Paragraph 5. The writer describes every scene of the race without any flaw.

6 Paragraph 3. The writer should describes the scene of having meal with

Shabbaz
7

The writer uses dialogue in first paragraph. His conversation with his coach.

The writer uses dialogue in 3rd paragraph. His conversation with the teacher.

The writer should put dialogue in 3rd paragraph. He can put some dialogues

when he is having meal with Shabbaz.

8 He describes that the loss of the competition is the lowest point in his life.

Nothing to clarify. Pretty good.

9 Easy. No confusing parts

10 Yes. He starts to build the following of the story well. For improvement, I

think he just need to cut the sentence If I was not destined.United States

11 It is a good ending but it lacks of life significance. Not too neatly, fair

enough.

12 Yes

13 My first race