Zheng 1

Xi nyu Zheng

Pr ofessor Willia m Giral di

WR150 - Writi ng and Research Se mi nar: The Me moir

11 Oct ober 2017

Hel pi ng is the Pat h from Monkey- Mind to Grown- up Man

Si nce t he begi nni ng of Ni ck Fl ynns life, he conti nuingl y wanders bet ween hat e and l ove,

guilt and for gi veness, and l eavi ng or st ayi ng. In his The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb, he menti ons t he

monkey- mi nd, a Buddhist wor d whi ch appr opri at el y descri bes his unsettled, conf used, and

uncontr ollabl e st ate of mi nd; t he onl y way t o overcome t his state of mi nd is t o get beco me

enli ght ened ( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 95). Si mil ar t o Fl ynns t he me of t he monkey- mi nd, i n Wu

Cheng ens The Journey t o t he West, Sun Wukong is a monkey who is also conf used and

struggl es wit h his meani ngl ess life, but at t he end of t he legend, Sun achi eves Buddhahood by

ser vi ng his mast er and getti ng t hr ough ei ght y- one tribul ati ons. As Fl ynns Buddhi st teacher,

Thi ch Nhat Hanh t ol d hi m, t he onl y way t o st op destroyi ng oneself is by offeri ng hel p t o ot hers

( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 221).

Enli ght ened peopl e are abl e t o face conti nuous troubles wit hout fear, but Fl ynn, who has

struggl ed i n bar do, fears nu mer ous t hi ngs. Bef ore he st arts t o buil d a fa mil y wit h Inez, Fl ynn

fears bei ng a husband as well as mai nt ai ni ng a stabl e relati onshi p. In fact, Fl ynn is largel y

i nfl uenced by his mot hers i nst abilit y and rel ati onship stat us si nce his chil dhood, and his

mot hers pre medit ated sui ci de partiall y dist ort s his attit ude t owar d l ove. As a boy, Fl ynn sa w

ho w har d his mot her wor ked t o raise hi m and his br ot her aft er she di vorced t heir fat her

Johnat han; as a man, he wit nesses how danger ous relati onshi ps can be for a wo man who uses

ever y boyfriend as a te mpor ar y life raft ( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 98). Fl ynns mot hers attit ude
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of usi ng rel ati onshi ps as fast medi ci ne t o allevi at e her l oneli ness has root ed itself deepl y i n

Fl ynns mi nd. Even if he knows t hat none can li ve on an i nt eri mlife raft forever, after his

mot hers sui ci de, Fl ynn soot hes his sorr ow and stress by sleepi ng wit h different girls ever y ni ght.

Fr o m his monk t eacher, Fl ynn l ear ns t hat i n Buddhi sm, troubl es peopl e are faci ng now are t he

kar mi c debt of t heir for mer deeds. Thus, when Fl ynn is i n l ove wit h bot h Anna and Inez, he

t hi nks it is his debt co mi ng for hi m.

Duri ng t his peri od of suffocati ng under t he wei ght of it all, when Inez teaches hi mt o

st ay and go sl ow Fl ynn kno ws she will be t he one t o bri ng hi mt he li ght of life, yet he persists i n

st ayi ng wit h Anna ( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 188). The e moti on whi ch keeps Fl ynn wit h Anna is

not l ove but t he over whel mi ng fear of l osi ng a l oved one agai n si nce his mot hers deat h. As t he

represent ati on of vul nerabilit y, i nst abilit y and self-har m, Anna beco mes t he substit ut e for

Fl ynns mot her. As Thi ch Nhat Hanh t ells a military vet eran, who i ndirectl y caused several

chil drens deat hs, t he way of freei ng hi mself from guilt is t o find a way t o hel p fi ve ot her

chil dren; when Anna t ells Fl ynn t hat she mi ght hurt herself because he is dati ng Inez, rat her

t han pani c or i gnore t he suggesti on, Fl ynn fi nds a way t o offer hel p ( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb

221). He t ells hi mself, you can save her Thi s ti me you wont fail, and hel pi ng Anna

beco mes t he way t o miti gat e his guilt from faili ng t o st op his mot hers sui ci de ( The Ti cki ng is t he

Bo mb 119). Fl ynn offers Anna hel p, but mor e t o free hi mself fromt he strong guilt of doi ng

not hi ng t o hel p his mot her. Once t he ment al states of bot h Fl ynn and Anna reach a bal ance, t hey

di sappear from each ot hers li ves. Until Fl ynn recei ves Annas not e after Lul us birt h, t hey have

not had cont act for a year and a half.

Bef or e Lul us birt h, t he struggl e bet ween t he t wo wome n he l oves and t he hel p he offers

Anna enabl e Fl ynn t o beco me mor e mat ure. As one of his friends says t o hi m, you used t o be a
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pup, now youre a dog ( The Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 113). Offeri ng Anna hel p frees hi mfrom guilt

and also gi ves hi mt he courage t o l ove and stay wit h Inez. Ho wever, duri ng Inezs pregnancy,

Fl ynn i magi nes an exaggerat ed i dea of a what a fat her shoul d be and starts t o worr y whet her if he

can gi ve Lul u t he ki nd of l ove he shoul d. This fear of fat her hood results from not onl y t he

absence of Johnat han, who represents t he absence of a fat her si nce he was a chil d, but also from

t he lack of peopl e ar ound hi m who can show what an or di nar y fat her shoul d do for a chil d.

Johnat hans absence st arted i n Fl ynns chil dhood, but t he l oss of fat her hood for Fl ynn conti nues

aft er Lul us birt h si nce Johnat hans acti ons and sit uati on apparentl y not li ke a rol e model of a

fat her. On t he ot her hand, anyone ar ound Fl ynn who mi ght pl ay a fat herl y rol e disappoi nts hi m

as Johnat han di d. For i nst ance, Travis, one of Fl ynns stepfat hers, is mor e li ke an ol der br ot her

who event uall y leaves his fa mil y, and bot h of Fl ynns grandfat hers share a poor or al oof

rel ati onshi p wit h t heir chil dren. All t he struggl es and troubl es Fl ynn has been a son and all his

co mpl ai nts about his own fat her fi gures now beco me the reason for his fear of bei ng a fat her

hi mself - what if he does somet hi ng wr ong and makes Lul u disli ke hi m as he di sli ked

Johnat han?

Whe n Fl ynn was young, he had t he i dea of t he fat her as shi p, as vessel, hol di ng t he chil d

afl oat ( Anot her Bullshit Ni ght i n t he Cit y 63); this is what he hopes he can do for his daught er,

but t he gap bet ween his expect ati ons and Johnat hans behavi or cause Fl ynns anxi et y t owar d

offeri ng abundant l ove. Ho wever, after dati ng Inez, Fl ynn is better abl e t o feel and l ove aft er a

seri es of struggl es, and t he pure hat e bet ween Fl ynn and Johnat han graduall y di mi nishes. As Sun

Wu kong re mar ks of his mast ers appreci ati on aft er they all reached Buddhahood t hat we are

meant t o support each ot her, the pat h of bei ng a fat her wit hout fear for Fl ynn is t o hel p and l ove

hi s own fat her, Johnat han ( Wu 385). The rout e of learni ng t o be a fat her requires hi mt o try t o
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underst and his fat her fromt he positi on of a fat her. Inci dent all y, a tri p t o Vi et na m wit h Travis

( who is also a vet eran of Vi et na m war) shows Fl ynn t hat for gi veness and expi ati on happen

si mult aneousl y when Travis expi at es his si n, and at the sa me ti me t he ol d lady sends her

for gi veness. Wit h Inezs hel p, Fl ynn st arts t o take care of his fat her, clean up his apart ment, and

vi sit hi m occasi onall y but persistentl y. When Lul u is bor n, Fl ynn acco mpani es Inez bef ore t he

birt h; as he does t his, he i magi nes t he scene of his birt h and what Johnat han was doi ng at t hat

ti me. The connecti on bet ween son and fat her is bound by t he birt h of t he sons daught er, and

aft er Lul us birt h, Fl ynn mor e frequentl y connects hims elf wit h Johnat han t hr ough t he fat her

rol e. The hel p and l ove Fl ynn gi ves Johnat han not onl y fulfills his i dentit y as a son but also

enabl es hi mt o be a fat her. Lear ni ng fromt he positi on of Johnat han, Fl ynn l oves Lul u

spont aneousl y and nat urall y wit h responsi bilit y but no fear or boredo m.

Event uall y, Fl ynn reaches a mor e peacef ul and stable st ate of mi nd. As Thi ch Nhat Hanh

says, the falli ng is t he rai n, t he bl owi ng is t he wi nd, and t he deeds achi eve t he fruit ( The

Ti cki ng is t he Bo mb 118). Also, at t he end of The Journey t o t he West, Sun Wukong underst ands

t hat t he hel p and support he offers is t he gat e way t o pr acti ce, whi ch enabl es all creat ures t o j ump

out of conf usi on and unsettle ment. The st or y of Sun Wu kong is si mil ar t o anot her st or y of a

ma gi cal monkey, whi ch is adapt ed by Fl ynns me mory and edit ed based on his co mpr ehensi on,

t hat a powerf ul monkey has t he abilit y t o transf or mint o anyt hi ng he want s, but each for m

requires a pri ce. For Sun Wukong, t he pri ce of bei ng enli ght ened is t o ser ve; for Ni ck Fl ynn, t he

pri ce of escapi ng t he monkey- mi nd t o be a gr own- up man is t o hel p.

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Wor ks Cit ed

Fl ynn, Ni ck. Anot her Bullshit Ni ght i n Suck Cit y: A Me moi r. 1st Nort on pbk. ed., Ne w Yor k;

London, W. W. Nort on &Amp; Co., 2005.

Fl ynn, Ni ck. The Ti cki ng Is t he Bo mb: A Me moi r. Ne w Yor k: W

. W. Nort on & Co, 2010. Pri nt.

Wu, Cheng' en, and Yu, Ant hony C. The Journey t o the West. Chi cago, Uni versit y of Chi cago

Pr ess, 1977.