LISTENING

1. ACTIVE LISTENING

A person must learn how to demonstrate their acceptance of their significant other so that he/she feels
acceptance.

a) Invitation To Sav More: To share his/her ideas, feelings, etc. This encourages people to start or
continue talking,

b) Active Listening: You try to understand what it is the sender is feeling or what their message means.
Put this understanding into your own words and feed it back for the sender's verification. You feed back
only what you believe the sender's message meant.

2. EFFECTS

a) People free themselves of troublesome feelings when they are encouraged to express them openly. It
helps people to find out exactly what they are feeling.

b) It helps them to become less afraid to share "negative" feelings. By your accepting their feelings, they
are helped to accept them.

c) It promotes a relationship of warmth between two people.

d) It facilitates problem-solving.

e) It helps the other person to be more willing to listen to the others thoughts and ideas,

f) It encourages the other person to think for themselves, to identify their own problems, and discover
their own solutions.

NOTE: The feedback of active listening is an ultimate check on the accuracy of our listening. It assures
the other person that they have been understood. This does not imply agreement. Active listening is the
first step of problem solving, getting the feelings out and the problem defined.

3. HEARING IS HEALING

Communication comes about when we seek to demonstrate that we care by:

a) Trusting: Making a conscious effort to withhold judgment of why the other person
feels as they do.

b) Listening: Trying to discover what the other person is feeling.

c) Clarifving: Describing their feelings as accurately as possible.

1) You sound ...
2) I hear you saying. . . "This does not mean you necessarily agree"

Communication begins when a person knows that we have understood their feelings. Proper
communication is a means to a better relationship. It says: I care enough about our relationship to
listen."