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Jose Duran

Professor Ditch

English 115

27 September 2017

Gender Through My Eyes

Over time, I have noticed that I behave in a primarily masculine way across different

gendered spaces. I also noticed that I have behave in a feminine way in some instances. Acting in

either a masculine or feminine way does not determine what sex I am or what gender I closely

associate with. Human beings should be able to demonstrate different types of behaviors without

the fear of being shamed for exhibiting those actions. Through the experiences of myself and

many others, I believe that gender is a social construct used to limit and restrict those who look,

act or sound differently from everyone else. I act differently in specific spaces because if I dont

act in a certain way, I would face social consequences such as ridicule and shame.

From the moment a child is born, decisions about its gender are already being

constructed. While a childs sex is established in a hospital room, a childs gender could

only be determined by that childs future choice. This is a problem because when people assume

a childs gender, that child may grow up feeling like an outsider. When a child grows up

confused about who they are, they may not excel in things like academics, sports or social skills

because they are too busy figuring out themselves. Aaron Devor stated in his article Becoming

Members of Society: The Social Meanings of Gender that, As we move through our lives,

society demands different gender performances from us and rewards, tolerates or punishes us

differently for conformity to, or digression from, social norms (35). When kids grow up, certain
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expectations are laid upon them. He makes the point that no matter how old we get, these

expectations never escape us. Boys are expected to be tough, strong and emotionless. Girls are

expected to be sweet, weak and emotional. Not only do these expectations stay with them

through childhood, but they haunt them throughout their lives.

Gender is a fluid idea that allows one to freely cross through masculine and feminine

territory. Gender shouldnt be defined by one line that divides an entire world of people,

incapable of crossing between both sides because all genders are human and we all do the same

things for the most part. No matter what gender you are, you shouldnt be judged for doing

something that is more masculine or feminine. Even I am guilty for defying masculine ideals in

everyday life. I am not any less of a man for doing things that a woman would do. We are all

human beings and we shouldnt be persecuted for doing things as we please. Gender should be a

gray area where people may roam and do whatever they please or deem is right without the fear

of suffering the consequences for their actions. Gender is a gray area because a person may feel

that they are neither fully male or female. When society accepts this as fact, countless gender

boundaries would be broken because there would be no need for them anymore. In Judith

Lorbers, Night to His Day: The Social Construction of Gender she asserts that For human

beings there is no essential femaleness or maleness, femininity or masculinity, womanhood or

manhood, but once gender is ascribed, the social order constructs and holds individuals to

strongly gendered norms and expectations (26). Lorber is stating that before gender was socially

constructed, there was no such thing as masculinity or femininity. They were created along with

gender so that society can label an entire population.

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Throughout the week, I recorded my behavior by taking notes around different gender

spaces and I noticed quite a few things about my masculine side. Whenever I was in a room with

just males, I tend to be overly aggressive and loud than in other situations. I lift my chin a little

higher and puff out my chest to signify my dominance over the others. In Aaron Devors

Becoming Members of Society, he proposes that ... such an alternative conception of gender

roles captures the hierarchical and competitive masculine thirst for power which can, but need

not, lead to aggression This quote is saying that masculine figures who thirst for power

compete for that power through dominance and aggression. My body language tends to be much

more physical in spaces that are dominated by males. On the weekend, I went to a music festival

called, Day N Night and I experienced something called a mosh pit. A mosh pit is a group of

people that clear a space in an area, just so they can run and jump through colliding and pushing

into other people. This space demonstrates the essence of masculinity because it is filled with

boiling rage and aggressive physical behavior for no just reason. When I am around females,

most of the time I try displaying my dominance over others and demonstrating my strengths

while masquerading my weaknesses. I behave in this fashion so males and females will not

perceive me as weak and shameful.

Although I am primarily masculine, I still feel and have emotion. This may be looked at

as being feminine but I believe its just being Human. I have had several emotional connections

with people throughout my lifetime. I do not feel weak when I am able to connect with someone

on a deeper level. Empathizing with a person can truly open your mind up and allow you to feel

something through someone elses experience. I believe this is powerful because youre

empowering yourself and others with new perspective. Devor also goes on to say femininity as
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striving for cooperation or communion. Cooperation and communion do not inhibit weakness

but rather promote dominance and safety in numbers. Expression of emotion is important

because if you keep everything bottled inside, overtime a persons emotion will explode out in an

unhealthy way. When you express yourself in healthy ways, you feel better about yourself and

about those around you. Creating a bond with someone should not be looked at as weak, .

Intimate behavior causes a person to show their greatest weaknesses to another person and not

know what to expect. In reality, only the strong are able to reveal themselves in that way.

Back when I was a kid and all the way up to this day, my father has always encouraged

me to be masculine. Whenever I was sad, he would always tell me to man up or boys dont

cry.When I was mad, he encouraged me to channel that anger into something productive like

sports or weightlifting. My father always told me that, Good men work hard for everything that

they have and they dont complain about how hard they worked after. Over time I accepted that

this must be the way of the world. In Aaron Devors Becoming members of Society: The Social

Meanings of Gender he states that Childrens developing concepts of themselves as individuals

are necessarily bound up in their need to understand the expectations of society of which they are

a part (37) Devor explains how children are taught their gender roles by society and what

actions they must do to satisfy this prophecy.

Humans should be able to freely express themselves through gender without having to

suffer the repercussions of society. Men are still expected to be steel emotionless robots while

women are expected to be emotional wrecks that are incapable of taking care of themselves.

Masculine or feminine behavior does not define gender and neither does another persons
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opinion. Gender is decided solely by personal choice and nothing else. No matter how I may

talk, look or act, I know who I am and I dont have to alter myself to fit anyone elses schema.
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Works Cited

Devor, Aaron, and John F. O'Hara. Becoming Members of Society. Composing

Gender: a Bedford Spotlight Reader, Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014

Groner, Rachel, and Judith Lorber. Night To His Day. Composing Gender: a Bedford

Spotlight Reader, Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014