Nalbandian 1

Khatchig Nalbandian

Professor J. Beadle

English 115

December 7, 2017

Trust Me Ive Gotten Better

The scariest moment is always just before you start, after that, things can only get

better (King). Ill admit this first semester was a roller coaster ride for me; trying to balance all

my classes with my work schedule, finding my place at CSUN, making new friends, and

essentially entering adulthood deemed to be quite overwhelming, but I was prepared to take on

the challenge. Out of all my classes, I was most excited for my English115 course. Although

writing was not my strong suit, I knew by taking this course I would learn new skills and

techniques that would only better my writing. Through the skills that I have acquired throughout

the semester, one can see quite a difference between my first essay Project Space, compared to

my second essay, Project Text. By comparing the introduction, the body paragraphs, and the

conclusion for both essays, I can truly say that I have grown as a writer and I owe it all to this

Freshman English Composition Course.

Looking at my introduction for both my essays, one can see obvious differences. In the

beginning of the semester, I had such a difficult time with starting my introduction and coming

up with a thesis statement. I always had the same problem, once I wrote the first sentence, my

mind would completely lose focus and I would essentially add in every piece of information I

would recall onto the paper. This caused my introduction to be unclear, unfocused, and

essentially be filled with unnecessary information. I began to address this problem throughout

the semester and one can see that my second essay is focused more on the topic at hand, whereas
 Nalbandian 2

my first essay brings up multiple ideas without any analysis. Another problem I had with my

introduction was with the grabber. I found it so difficult to try and come up with an opening line

that would automatically captivate my readers, but I slowly became better at it, as the semester

went by. In Project Text, I chose to open my essay with a quote, not only did the quote relate to

the topic at hand, but it allowed readers to think before the essay even started. The quote added

curiosity to the essay and I thought it was a good way to grab their attention. The quote I used

was, Japan learned from the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki that the tragedy wrought by

nuclear weapons must never be repeated and that humanity and nuclear weapons cannot coexist

(Ikeda). By using this quote, readers automatically knew that this essay had something to do with

nuclear weapons. Whereas, in my first essay, I began with a boring, general statement, which I

believed did not entice my readers at all. There is no stronger bond in the world then friendship,

and I have been able to see both the good and the bad which this bond brings upon people with

my own personal experiences (Nalbandian 1). Even though, I do not think that the opening

sentence was entirely bad, I still think it sounded too general and a little too clich. Other than

the opening sentence, I would sometimes find it difficult to write a thesis statement. Some people

believe the thesis is the most important part of the entire essay because everything you write

about from that point forward must somehow connect back to it. In Project Space, my thesis

statement was not worded in the best way; it did not reflect my argument at all, it was off topic

and was essentially just a brief summary of my entire introduction. Whereas, my thesis in Project

Text was much better: Even though its unfair to compare two movies with a 62-year gap in

between, the two Godzilla movies Gojira and Shin Godzilla drastically changed from one

another due to that time gap (Nalbandian 1). This thesis statement automatically prepared the

readers that I would be comparing two movies together and that I have already chosen a side
 Nalbandian 3

between the two. This thesis statement was a lot more clearer and truly guided my readers

towards the rest of the essay.

Aside from the introduction, English 115 taught me how to properly organize my ideas

into body paragraphs through an outline, so that all my information would not be all over the

place. The outline deemed to be quite useful because it allowed me to organize all my ideas,

arguments, and counter arguments, before even writing my essay, so all my points would be

organized into one coherent essay. The format of the outline was pretty simple, one would start

by writing their thesis statement and then in numerical order, one would write down their main

topics for each body paragraph. Under each main topic, one would then write their

evidence/support as well as the counterargument. By following the outline, I was able to stay

focused on the topic at hand throughout each paragraph. The only problem was that during my

first essay, Project Space, I never really focused on writing an outline, instead I just went straight

into the essay. This turned out to be a bad idea because my main points for each body paragraph

became very unclear. None of the body paragraphs focused on one specific idea, instead

everything was all mixed together. I did not even put in a proper counterargument and refutation

until the conclusion, but with the help of an outline, I was able to fix these problems with my

second essay, Project Text. Before I started my second essay, I took some time writing the

outline and this deemed to be quite beneficial. My second essay was a lot more organized and

each paragraph focused on one specific main point, unlike my first essay. My first body

paragraphs main point was, From the film Gojira (1954) to Shin Godzilla (2016) it can be

argued that the purpose of Godzillas creation has changed (Nalbandian 1). This topic sentence

clearly shows the reader what this paragraph will be about. I brought in specific evidence to

support this main idea and through my analysis I was able to connect it all back to the thesis,
 Nalbandian 4

which was about the two Godzilla movies and how it has changed. My second paragraphs main

point was essentially focusing on my counterargument, At the same time, it can be argued that

Godzilla as a monster and as an idea hasnt changed drastically from Gojira to Shin Godzilla

(Nalbandian, 2). Unlike my first essay, Project Space which did not have a counter argument at

all. In my second essay, my counterargument was clearly shown in the essay by this paragraph.

In my third body paragraph, I brought in the refutation, which completely shut down the

counterargument, There is no doubt that both Gojira and Shin Godzilla share some similarities,

whether it be the setting, the plot, or the various characters. But after watching both movies one

can see that the differences between the two movies outweigh the similarities (Nalbandian, 3).

This paragraph clearly showed that although, there may have been similarities between the

movie, ultimately there were a lot more differences than anything else. My last body paragraph,

allowed me to give reasoning behind why I think there were so many differences between the

movies. I think this paragraph allowed readers to have more context and essentially understand

the essay a lot better. The paragraph began with, One other simple and agreeable reason that the

two Godzilla movies are different from one another is due to how many years of a difference

there is from when they were created (Nalbandian, 4). This closing body paragraph allowed me

to add in any left-out arguments that I had to offer. Each paragraph focused on one basic idea,

which allowed readers to stay focused. Each body paragraph had a lot of evidence, so I would be

able to actually support my thesis as well. I analyzed each piece of evidence and through that I

was able to clearly state my ideas and connect it back to the thesis which was to show how both

Godzilla movies have changed overtime. My second essay was a lot more organized and clearer

because of the outline and I owe it all to this class for teaching me this method. It allowed me to

construct a meaningful essay because all my ideas were organized into different paragraphs.
 Nalbandian 5

Finally, the conclusion, I believe the conclusion is one of the most important parts of the

entire essay because it is essentially the so what factor. The conclusion not only is supposed to

summarize the essays main points, but also to show readers why this topic was important. In the

beginning of the semester, I thought, I wrote pretty well-thought-out conclusions, but I realized

soon after that, I actually needed to work on my conclusions a lot more. In my first essay, Project

text, instead of summarizing all the main points I had talked about throughout the essay, I

decided to add new arguments, as well as a counterargument, for example, Without my friends,

I wouldnt be the person I am today, there are so many goals I would not have reached without

them supporting me and pushing me each step of the way (Nalbandian, 4). This sentence

completely contradicted my entire essay and I soon realized that this is not how a conclusion

should be. After this essay, I learned through various class assignments and other essays that I

would need to change this way of writing and so I did. In my second essay, Project Text, my

conclusion was written much better. It properly closed my essay by recapping the thesis and

mentioning where I stand on the topic. After watching both Godzilla movies Gojira 1954 and

Shin Godzilla 2016 I strongly believe that the movies have drastically changed from one

another (Nalbandian, 5). This opening sentence for my Project Text conclusion I believe gave

the readers a proper summary of my thesis while at the same time telling them that I believe

there have been changes between the two Godzilla movies.

I was quite hesitant to take this class at first because I knew I was not the best writer, but

I knew that by taking this class I could only get better at writing. So, I came in with an open

mind and I was ready to take this class head on. I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to

take this Freshman English Composition Course because I have learned about all new writing

skills and techniques that I will be able to use in all my future writing assignments. From my first
 Nalbandian 6

essay Project Space, to my last Project Media, there have been drastic improvements every step

of the way. From the thesis, all the way to the conclusion my essay writing skills have shown

much improvement and I owe it all to this class.

 Nalbandian 7

Work Cited

Nalbandian, Khatchig. Project Space October 2017

Nalbandian, Khatchig. Evolution of Godzilla November 2017