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How to Steal Your Brothers Girlfriend

(Vampire Edition)

By: Cynthia Aquino

Things You Will Need:

A brother

A brother with a girlfriend

Vampire blood

Vampire Cure

Step 1: Mind Control. As a vampire, you have the ability to control the mind of any human.

Therefore, your first step should be that. Of course there is no guarantee this will work because

of the plant called vervain which blocks mind control when consumed and is lethal to vampires,

but it is worth a shot.

Step 2: Date her best friend. If step one does not work out, your next step should be to date

her best friend. This way you are around her all the time and have a chance to charm her away

from your brother.

Step 3: Become her friend. This step goes hand in hand with step two. Now that you are dating

her best friend you have become closer to her and she will leave her guard down. When she

does this she may choose to be with you instead of your brother.
Step 4: Make sure she dies with vampire blood in her system. Turning her into a vampire is a

risky step because her body can reject the vampire blood and actually die, but that most likely

will not happen. Now that she is a vampire you have the upper hand because when you

become a vampire you stop aging and that will no longer be an excuse to not be with you.

Step 5: Be a good guy. Of course, this one is the most obvious. Becoming a good guy will show

her that you are willing to do whatever it takes in order to win her over. This is when she will

begin to develop actual feelings for you.

Step 6: Find a cure for vampirism. Crucial step here. Embarking on a dangerous journey of

searching for and finding the vampire cure will prove once again that you are willing to do

whatever it takes to win her over.

Step 7: Give her the vampire cure. After surviving step 6 your next move is to give her the

vampire cure even if it means losing her. This will prove that you would rather see her happy

with someone else than miserable with you.

Step 8: Happily Ever After. After all of the previous steps have been completed, your final move

is to take the cure as well and give up being a vampire even though you enjoy that life. This will

finally prove that you are willing to do whatever it takes to be with her and she will see that and

choose you over your brother.

Caution!

Although this has worked for some it is not a hundred percent guaranteed it will work for you.

Please also keep in mind that embarking on this mission may cause serious damage to your life

and put you in life-threatening situations. With that said choosing to follow through with this
mission may cause the following: loss of a relationship with brother, the death of potential

girlfriend, and your death.


Cynthia Aquino

Mariel Aquino

Writing 2

20 November 2017

Analytical Essay

After many different options and so many genres to choose from narrowing down a single

topic and genre is one of the many difficulties of the assignment. I decided to translate a TV

show called The Vampire Diaries into a how-to article based on the two main characters love

story, Damon and Elena. While doing this there were several things that I had to keep in mind

including the formatting of a how-to article versus a TV show. Along with that, I had to keep in

mind the length difference between a TV show, which has the luxury of going into details, and a

how-to article which does not have that luxury. Although some of the translation between the Commented [MA1]: I think you could use a bit more
punctuation here; as the reader I felt a bit like I couldnt
take a breath
old genre to the new flowed naturally other parts such as the tone, structure, and vocabulary

required more work. Commented [MA2]: What differences did these


changes make?

The new audience that my genre translation is addressing is vampires that want to steal their Commented [MA3]: Perhaps start with a more general
statement about audiences and why they are important
here?
brothers girlfriend. Although this would be the literal audience I understand that it is

unrealistic unless you are big on conspiracy theories. The realistic intended audience would be

cosmopolitan magazine readers. The piece would be placed in the magazine as a comedic piece

for entertainment. The how-to article is a summary of the main plot of The Vampire Diaries

which therefore can also serve as an advertisement for the show to pull other viewers in. It is

different from the audience my primary source is addressing because the first audience is
television watchers. There are different reasons why I chose my new genre one of them being

its effectiveness to communicate the information. Another reason would be because of a

writing piece I read earlier this quarter called Ten Ways To Think About Writing: Metaphoric

Musings for College Writing Students written by E. Shelley Reid which brought up many things

a writer should keep in mind when writing. A statement Reid said that stuck out to me was,

Write about what you know about, are passionate about (or what you can find a way to be

curious about or interested in). (Reid). This is a reason why I chose the topic and new genre

because not only am I very interested in the topic and the new genre, but I am also very familiar

with both. Commented [MA4]: You lose a bit of cohesiveness


here. Is this paragraph about audience or about why
you chose the genre?
As I mentioned above one of the harder things that did not flow naturally was the vocabulary

translation from a TV show to a how-to article. In order to achieve this I integrated information Commented [MA5]: Can you frame this in terms of a
genre convention?

from my primary text into my new genre by summarizing the main love story between the main

characters Damon and Elena. I kept the main points throughout the show and left out the

smaller details because a how-to article is supposed to be short and to the point. The

vocabulary is more casual and comedic in the new genre compared to dialogue in the show

which is what is used in The Vampire Diaries. Another challenge I faced during this genre Commented [MA6]: The second half of this sentence
is a bit wordy

translation was choosing what to leave out. In a show that had eight seasons there is so much

room for the writers of the show to incorporate any and all details that they would want to so

narrowing it down was difficult. I achieved this by keeping the main points that I thought were

the most important. Also making sure it makes sense with fewer details than a show was

difficult because when reading any kind of genre people would like background details about

the topic they are reading. The way I overcame these issues was by pretending that I as a
reader of the how-to article had never watched The Vampire Diaries and read it then making

sure the writing made sense. Commented [MA7]: Again, Im missing some
cohesivenessas a reader, Im not sure how your
struggles with the vocabulary and the story connect
One of the hardest conversions from genre to genre is the tone of a piece. Tone usually flows

naturally, but in this case, it was hard when converting to a how-to article because of the

freedom that the genre has. How to articles can be as creative or straightforward as a writer

would want it to be. When it comes to how to articles I think that the tone should be

determined by the content of the piece. In the how-to article How To Rob A Dragon by Bilbo

Baggins, which is a step by step on how to rob a dragon based on The Hobbit, the tone

throughout the article was serious and professional but the content did not necessarily reflect

that; which is again another reason why the tone is hard to determine for how to articles.

(Baggins). With that in mind, I then determined that in my case my article was a comedic piece Commented [MA8]: Check again, I dont think he was
the author.

so I made the tone professional but with a lighter undertone to it.

While translating the genres I never realized how much stuff happens on TV Shows. The

detail that goes into every scene, every word and every character is so much more extensive

than a how-to article. The writers of TV Shows must spend so much time writing the script and

scenes. On the other hand what I learned about the new genre was that it does not have

much room for you to work with lengthwise. A how-to article cannot be long because it will not

hold the reader's attention. It should be short and to the point with enough detail to be

understood but not so much to the point where it becomes an essay. Of course, that is up to

each writer to decide whether they would want to make a how-to article short or long, but I

think making it longer would take away its effectiveness.


All in all, the main concerns that I needed to keep in mind as I have said before is the length

difference and which details to leave in or out. Asking myself repeatedly whether it made sense

and whether it was able to be understood by someone with no background to The Vampire

Diaries is how I overcame those problems. The tone along with the vocabulary were the hardest

parts to translate from one genre to the other, but using techniques and other outside readings

helped compose the final translation.

I think you have a lot of great ideas here, and I think the paper would be much more effective
with a bit of reorganization. You tended to jump around a bit in your paragraphs, and as the
reader I wasnt always clear on how things fit together. Try using topic sentences or concluding
sentences to tie things together so your reader knows what youre up to. I also think you could
try to use a bit more punctuation; right now, I felt at times as thought I was running at full
speed and couldnt take a breath. Try using different kinds of punctuation to insert pauses and
emphasize certain parts of your sentences.

B+
Works Cited

Baggins, Bilbo. How To Rob a Dragon. Starting Lines, vol. 16, 2017, pp. 146151.

Reid, E. Shelley. Ten Ways To Think About Writing: Metaphoric Musings for College Writing
Students. Writing 2 Printer, 2017, pp. 80100.

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