The Meeting

I am sweating while I walk down the freezing hallway to the gathering place. My

stomach starts to turn as I hear the voices get stronger coming from the hall. The tie I am wearing

around my neck seems to be getting tighter and tighter. As I enter the room, the classical music

coming from the speakers begins to release the tightness around my neck. I naturally gravitate

toward the table of refreshments to alleviate the dryness of my throat. As I quickly drink a

second drink, I turn around from the refreshment table and I see all the nicely dressed people

under the fancy lights. Everyone is wearing business class suits or dresses. The people are

quickly introducing themselves to others as they network with each other. I am at a business

meeting for a company that sells life insurance policies. I am not here because I want to be. After

being asked for months, I regretfully told my friend that I would attend a meeting.

There are many rows of dark gray chairs that were meticulously lined up. In front of the

rows was a stage with a large projection screen. When it was time, everyone started taking their

seats. I looked for the seat that was as far back as possible. The seminar begins and the speaker

comes out and introduces himself and describes exactly what they do in their company. I am

partially paying attention to the speaker but my main focus, is if whether I am sweating too much

or if there is a stink coming from my sweat. Did I put too much deodorant on? Is the deodorant

smell to strong? These are the questions that run through my mind while I am sitting there. This

kind of thinking eventually passes while I sit there trying not to move as much as possible.

I do not do well in public places. Anywhere with a lot of people I stay away from. I try to

blend in with the crowd. I hate attracting attention from other people I dont know. So this idea

of having a conversation with a complete stranger or any conversation at all. puts me in a

stressed out mood. I have this fear of rejection from people and it controls everything I do. I

dont like to meet new people for social occasions. But oddly enough, I dont mind meeting new

people at all when it comes to work. I work alone for a company, helping people who need

assistance with daily activities. I am a Nursing Assistant. I build friendships with these people.

They range from famous and wealthy people to poor people. I am comfortable working with

these people because they accept me as who I am.

Once the speaker is done, everyone is sectioned off into groups where a leader is assigned

to answer any questions the guests have. The friend that invited me happens to be the leader of

my group. It didnt help ease the nervousness and anxiety from being around strangers. The

sweating starts again. All I can think about is getting out of this group meeting. I act like I am

paying attention but all I can think about is going home. After the groups questions get answered,

individuals are allowed to converse more in detail if they had further questions. As for myself, I

was the first person out of the door.

To be in ones own comfort zone is where everybody initially wants to be. Myself

included. But there are times in life when people need to step out of that comfort zone to become

a better and successful person. Motivational speakers always talk about stepping out of the

comfort zone when they give speeches. I believe this is true. It is not an easy thing to do. You

have to have the willingness and the drive to put yourself out there. I am starting to be social

with people I dont know. It is not hard to introduce myself. Being courteous is not the difficult

part. Letting people know the real me is.