Sydney McCalvin

Peer Letter #2

Much of the notes that I took on your essay are based on the qualities that I want for my own

essay and what I seek to improve on. For example, I noticed that there were multiple times that

you wrote in passive voice. I think you should try to cut these excessive words out, as it create a

stronger and concise paragraph. This is a problem for me, as its easier to write in passive voice.

But using passive voice in a critical research essay, such as the one we are working on, it

weakens your statements, thus weakening situated ethos appeal of being a credible writer. The

next point is usage of research. Were pretty much at the same point in our draft where were still

adding in our information and data. I think this is an important step in drafting as the research

really shapes the argument. Another important step you should look over is your transitions and

creating continuity throughout your essay.