Advice to Parents

Questions:
How can parents help their teenagers deal with the conflicts of adolescence?

Answer:

Adolescence is a confusing time of life. I think that Kathleen Berger puts it into
great word in Invitation to The Life Span, The reality that children grow into men and
women is no shock to any adult. But for teenagers, their cognitive advances often lead to
surprise or even horror, joy to despair, at details of their physical growth (2014 pg. 319).
With puberty, learning identity, and the ever-complicated relationships with others, how
can parents help there adolescents deal with conflicts. These three major changes during
the teen years are important for adolescence to have a relationship with their parents.
Parent-adolescent relationships affect every aspect of adolescent development( Berger
2014 pg. 361).
Puberty is at its strongest for children between the ages of 8 to 14, which is also
when children generally start to see changes physically. Boys and girls experience more
than just reproduction organ growth, which is visible, but this is primarily from the
stimulation of hormonal increases. Hormones are body chemicals that regulate hunger,
sleep, moods, stress, sexual desire, immunity, reproduction and many other bodily
reactions, including puberty (Berger 2014 pg. 320). Children may not always go to there
parents during this time but its critical for parents to be aware during this time because
children can often be confused or emotionally unstable. Puberty can be triggered early by
stress, puberty arrives earlier if a childs parents are sick, addicted, or divorced, or if the
neighborhood is violent and impoverished, and Berger goes on to say that hastened
puberty is not beneficial for younger children because they no longer look childlike
which evokes protection but rather lust and or anger (2014 pg. 324). Parents that provide
a stable living situation can also give young children a better chance to go into puberty
safely. This stage is already stressful and emotional; parents can ease that for
adolescence.
Identity is a psychosocial development during adolescence is often considered
the search for self-understanding (Berger 2014 pg. 356). Teens spend much of this
phase of life reconstructing their parents and cultures values and goals and decide what is
valuable for them moving forward. There a couple of crisis that adolescence can go
through, one would be role confusion. In general terms this is the teen that does not seem
to care about anything. They do not make goals and they are disorganized. Foreclosure is
when young people accept traditional values. They might follow roles and customs
transmitted from their parents or culture, never having explored alternatives, Bergers
also explains that this can also be seen as the exact opposite when a teen explores the
negative identity, or everything opposite of there parents wants (2014 pg. 357). For
parents this can be the hardest part about raising their children that they love. What can
they do? My personal experience was my parents never told me who I needed to be, but I
learned that my life would be better if I tried to understand what my parents already
knew. The best thing for a parent to do during this conflict would be to love them and
never stop, because if the teen seems lost they will always come back to a supportive
parent.
Adolescents rely on their peer more often than their parents. Friendships are
important at every stage, but during early adolescence peers have increased power
because popularity is also covered(Berger 2014 pg. 364). Teens live in a world of
crowds, parents dont always know it but sometimes teens lives teeter on which crowds
they are accepted in. Romance is a biggie for young teens because it often elevates their
status in their crowds. Parents may not always know what is really going on in there teens
relationship but it is best for parents to be involved in these chaotic relationships because
it helps with the parent-adolescent relationship. Kathleen Berger notices when
adolescents have a supportive, affectionate relationship with their parents, they tend to
have similar relationships with their peers (2014 pg. 361). Teens and parents do not
always see eye to eye, this is normal and in some cases good because it can lead to
understandings between each other.
Parents can help their teenagers deal with the conflicts of adolescence by
giving them support during the confusing times because they need someone to be there
for them when the phase is over.

References

Berger, K. S. (2014). Invitation to the lifespan (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Worth
Publishers.