SeeingStars

bySimonArmitage

SimonArmitagewasbornin1963andlivesinWestYorkshire.Hehaspublishedninevolumesof
poetry,includingTheUniversalHomeDoctorandTravellingSongs,bothpublishedbyFaberin2002.
HehasreceivednumerousawardsforhispoetryincludingtheSundayTimesAuthoroftheYear,one
ofthefirstForwardPrizesandaLannanAward.Hiscollectionofpoems,TyrannosaurusRexVersus
theCorduroyKid,waspublishedbyFaberinSeptember2006,followedbyhisbestsellingand
criticallyacclaimedtranslationofSirGawainandtheGreenKnight(Faber)in2007.In2010,for
servicestopoetry,ArmitagewasawardedtheCBE.

SeeingStars,hisnewcollectionisdescribedasahypervividarrayofdramaticmonologues,
allegories,parablesandtalltales.PaulBatchelorintheGuardianaskedofthepoemsArethey
poems,orprosepoems,orflashfiction?I'mnotsure,butthey'reverymoreishanddescribes
Armitageamasterofloweringthereader'sguard,ofthenimblefootworkthatcancatchusoff
balance.

15:30bytheElephantHouse

Letsgetmarriedatthezoo!exclaimedScott.Perfect,
saidCharlene.Theyfoundthenameofahumanistminister
intheYellowPagesandhearrangedtomeetthemat15:30
bytheelephanthouse.Areyousureyouwouldntprefer
theglasswallofthepenguintankasabackdrop?askedthe
minister.Theyresovivaciousandlifeaffirming.No,
heresfine,saidScott.Perfect,agreedCharlene.Then
letsbegin.Doyou,Scott,believethatfriendshipand
decencyunderpintheessenceofhumanity?Ido,said
Scott,removingastrayhairclingingtoCharleneslip.
Anddoyou,Charlene,agreetohandovertheuniverseto
futuregenerationsinanimprovedandmorallyenhanced
condition?Ido,saidCharlene,Imosttruthfullydo.
Butbeforetheministercouldpronouncethemhusbandand
wife,ahulkingbruteofamanindirtywadersandapeaked
capcamegalumphingtowardsthem,bellowing,Whatthe
bloodyhellfireisgoingonhere?Theministerhadsidled
awayverysmartlyandwaspretendingtoadmirethe
aardvark.Weregettingmarried,saidScott.Notinmy
 zooyourenot,saidtheman.Haveyounorespectfor
thesecreatures,flauntingyourhumannessinfrontofthem?
Cantyouseehowdefeatedandashamedtheyare?Have
youlookedtheorangutanintheface?Scottsaid,But
werenaturelovers.Thezookeeperguffawed.Yourea
pairofhypocrites.Nowfuckoff.Charlenesheartsankto
theseabedofherstomach.Shehadntwantedtoheara
wordlikethatonherweddingday.Goon,leavethis
place.Thecapybaraneedsitstoenailscutting,andwhenI
comebackIwanttofindyousupremacistsgone.
Itrainedandtherewerenotaxis.ThesilkdressCharlene
hadorderedfromatailorinWushibegantoperishinfront
ofhereyes,andthescaronhisbackwhereScotthadonce
beentreatedforshinglesbegantothrobandburn.Backin
thehousetheyarguedlikeflamethrowers.Butlater,after
twobottlesofchilledVeuveClicquotandatrayofDublin
Bayoystersinbisongrassvodka,theypushedthecoffee
tabletoonesideandinfrontofaglowingfiredispensed
withrestraintforthefirsttimeintheirlives.Fortheheart
shallneverrelinquishitsclaimonthecrown,andfrom
lovesfurnaceshallthegoldeninfantbeborn.AndI
shouldknow,becausemynameisSeanWain,Australian
testcricketer,peerlessspinnerofaredleatherballandtheir
beautifulbastardson.

TotheBridge

Thesamebridge,infact,whereithadoccurredto
himthatthesocalledManicStreetPreachers,forall
theirhyperventilationandsulphuricaftershave,
wereneitherfrenzied,credibleorremotely
evangelical,justasthesocalledRedHotChili
Peppers,foralltheirencouragingingredients,were
actuallynowarmerthanababysbathwaterandnot
intheleastbitdiablo,whereastheTeardrop
Explodes,eitherbyblindaccidentorthrough
carefulpurposehadkepteverypromiseevermade.
Belowhim,thesoupycanalacknowledgedthatfinal
thoughtwithananointingripplethenslouched
unknowinglyyetprofuselyonwards.

SimonArmitageswebsite