Abstract:

We cannot stop ourselves from falling or failing. However hard we try, sometimes it
is just inevitable. We fall in career, relationships and sometimes even with our life.
What we do after we fall is what defines us. We can either get up & get going or we
can just quit. Most people find the other option easier. But the so much hated fall is
necessary for a person to really grow and develop. Only when they have fallen can
they know the true essence of success. The fall prepares us, enlightens us and asks us
just one thing. “Do you have what it takes?” And if the answer is a YES, then the fall
embraces you and actually helps you in achieving your ambition.
Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Why the Need to fall?
3. The Psychological Aspects of Falling
4. The Concept of Luck
5. Protect your dreams
6. Accept your failures
7. The “Why?”
8. Don’t let the Child die
9. Conclusions
Introduction

When people are asked about, what they fear the most? Answers such as Darkness, Height, Crowd,
Spiders etc. come as their responses. But these are only the physical counterpart of FEAR.

One of the most common answer that we get from them about emotional fear and panic is that of
falling.

“I don’t want to face failure.”

“I don’t want to be looked upon as a loser.”

“I don’t want to fail my dear ones.”

In one form or another falling down is one of the most fearful things for people. Failing in something
is considered as dreadful as being dead. Why do people fear failure so much?

The answer to this question lies in the fact that “Failure is considered as the lack of sincere attempt”

Deep down we know that we and only we are responsible for the failure that sense of guilt is what
attacks us! But it is not so! What we need is an in depth analysis of the concept of failure.

Failure is nothing but merely a pathway to make us achieve success in a much cleaner and greater
way.

One might have noticed that, ‘Falling’ and ‘Failing’ have been used quite interchangeably in a very
frequent manner. But later on the difference have been neatly made between the two.

Why the need to fall?

In innovation field, it is a basic theory that,

“If you don’t fail in your product once, then your product isn’t good enough.”

Failing enhances the chances of a better approach to the problem arising. It boosts development and
is essentially needed for the growth of the individual. As per a recent research by Psychological
Society of London, Persons who have come across failure a few times in their life are better at facing
situations and finding an alternate solution.

By failing we have the golden opportunity to analyse our effort and then maximize the efficiency of
the final product.

Google’s CEO Larry Smith says, “In silicon valley, people start new companies at a very high pace.
And they fail quite often. But you have to wear your failure like a badge of honour. Only then will
you be able to overcome it.”

If things come across our ways in a silver spoon then we will never be able to find out our true
potential. To find out our true selves and to reach to an even higher pinnacle, it is mandatory for a
person to fall.
Falling or Failing?

People tend to get confused between the concepts of falling and failing. Falling is simply natural. A
part of the growing process. A mandatory part.

I like to refer to falling as just being given another attempt.

As a famous quote by JP Morgan goes,

“Falling is natural, but you fail only when you want to fail.”

Failing is considered as a mistake in our society and that is where all the problem lies!

When you have fallen you get another chance to make an attempt. And then another and another.

But once you think that you have failed! Then no one can help you. Falling is temporary while failing
may become permanent.

If that’s how the difference is defined in the modern mind-sets, then there is no reason why Student
suicides or Depression like things should even exist!

The psychological aspects of falling

Falling down creates a great impact on our mind. We tend to think as being useless and our self-
esteem goes down. But the process doesn’t only stop there.

There is a rule of failure by Tony Robbins, renowned motivational talker, which is known as the “ON”
rule. It goes like,

“Overthinking + Not persistency = Failure”

This is the main reason behind failing. We tend to over think our one unsuccessful attempt and don’t
pursue further. According to Robbins, “Never be ‘ON’, because the moment you overthink upon it,
will be your moment of doom. Just Do.”

The reason behind this is quite natural and comes around in a single word, “Human”.

This is nothing but basic Human nature. During evolution we have accepted one simple theory in our
mind i.e.

“Failure is a mistake.”

This simple yet such moral depriving theory has been going around since the earliest time.

One needs to break the barrier and be persistent in their effort. Because there is no such thing as a,
“Single Attempt.”

One has to be mentally strong and stable to counteract the symptoms of failure, because failure can
have a devastating effect on the mind. Only by staying calm and analysing our attempt can one be
able to achieve their target.
The concept of luck

This is a tricky part. The concept of Luck or Destiny or Fate is believed in by many people.

Most people blame their luck for getting failed. They say their luck didn’t work out!

This luck thing can either lead one to such heights that one can’t even imagine, or as well lead to
disaster.

Quoting Keanu Reeves from the movie “The Matrix”,

“I don’t like the concept of not being in control of my life.”

This kind of mentality is quite interesting. If one doesn’t believe in luck then they simply won’t take
blind risks. They know that whatever they do, they are the only one responsible for that.

They take calculated approaches. And so their success rate is high.

But on the other hand. People who believe in fate are able to take risks in a quite complicated and
difficult situations which sometimes result into unexpected yield!

Destiny is good only up to the point, so that it doesn’t come between you and your responsibility for
your actions. It is just like Chance. May be in your favour. Or may not be.

Protect Your Dreams

One can only achieve their potential if they can dream of their true potential. And as there is no limit
to dreaming, the potential is limitless as well.
Protect your dreams, your hopes, your future and everything you are and hope to be. It is OK to
protect yourself from toxicity. We are not all at the same place in life. Sometimes we are not even
on the same road with others. What matters is that we are on the road that is right for us. We
have to protect our dreams. We have to protect them from negative people, negative news, and
anything else that pulls us down. Dreams are fragile. And while we are learning to fly, we can be
fragile.

If you are able to protect your dreams then there is a high probability that you will get attached to
them, and at that point of time it doesn’t matter how many times you fall down, you will get up
and get started again to fulfil your dreams.

Some ways to protect your dreams:

1. Find like-minded souls on your journey, people who are positive, encouraging, and kind.
2. Write your dream down.
3. Make a vision board for your dream.
4. Make a plan to obtain your dream.
 5. Limit negativity in your life as much as possible and vaccinate yourself against that which
you cannot avoid.

Accept your failures

We have been taught from our childhood that failure is a mistake and should not be repeated. So we
constantly look at failure as demeaning.

No doubt then why most people even in their most comfortable environment have trouble talking
about their failures and downfalls.

If you have to move on then you must first accept that, “I fall down. It’s OK. I tried.”

After you have accepted that, you will feel a lot less of a burden and then you will come to know that
you can easily achieve what you couldn’t by simple changes in your approach. And you will realize
that it will surely increase the quality of the final product.

There is a specific guideline will help in accepting and moving on.

1. Accept how you feel. Whatever it might be.

2. Believe that you are not a failure just because you had a setback. Don’t think. Know that you
are not.
3. Let it out into the light. Talk it through with your dearest ones.
4. Improve your self-esteem.

Once you have accepted your setback and decided to carry on again, more than 3/4th of the success
in your hands.

Most helpful way to do that is to ask yourself better questions (instead of the common ones that
send you off into a negative spiral).

Questions like:

 What’s one thing I can learn from this?

 How can I adjust my course to avoid this trap/making the same mistake and likely do better next
time?
 What’s one thing I can differently the next time?
Take some time with these questions and be honest with yourself as you answer them. There’s no
rush and while some of the answers may be immediate others might take an hour, day or even a
week to pop up.
The “Why”?

A point comes after the fall when you start asking,

”Why it is happening to me only?”
“Why didn’t my effort paid results?”
Instead of asking yourself “Why?” Ask why not?
Believe in yourself and ask;
“If they can do it! Why not me?”
And you are the first to do that thing then ask yourself:
“Why can’t I be the first to do it?”
Always remember your questioning attitude determines whether your effort will result or
not.

Boxing legend James ‘Buster’ Douglas stunned the world when he knocked out
previously undefeated champion Mike Tyson in what became one of the biggest
upsets in the sport’s history.
When asked about it in an interview he said,
“My mother passed away few days before my match. And till her last moment she was
telling everyone that her Son will be the world champion soon. I had two options ; I
could die with my mother or I could live for her.”
He didn’t ask himself, “why it happened to me?”
He asked instead, “Why not do it for my mother?”
Your why has to be greater than that knockdown, that defeat!
Don’t let the child die

Have you ever seen a toddler while trying to take its first walks?
It struggles to get up on its feet, it walk a few steps wobbling and then it falls down. He then
looks at us, starts laughing and tries to get up again. He gets up and again tries to walk further.
What if that child decided to stop after its fall?
What if it thought what its parents will think if it fall again?
What if the child thought he just can’t do it?
What of the child never ever got up from its first fall?

The child will never ever learn to walk and sit there crawling on its legs.
But we don’t see that happening. You know why?
Because the child doesn’t think about the fall! HE ACTUALLY ENJOYS IT!!
He doesn’t think about anything. Just that walking is FUN!! And so is falling!!
The child laughs apart its fall down and the so called setback in terms of adults!
That is the main problem with us. As soon as we start growing and start understanding
language. We start to worry about what happens if we fall again! The child mentality slowly
diminishes away.
Where did the transition occur? When did we lose that mentality? We lost that mentality as
soon as started understanding what others say. As soon as we did a mistake we were told it is
wrong. Which it is. But along with that we were told that,
“There is only one single answer.”
So we grew up fearing failure. Thinking that we might turn out to be wrong. And due to that
we don’t take risks! We don’t take attempts! We don’t want to try again after the fall!
The child never thinks about it. So why should you? He doesn’t give a damn to anything. HE
actually takes fun in what he is doing. Because it is new to him! He isn’t scared. He Falls down
and then starts all over again.
“DON’T LET THE CHILD INSIDE YOU DIE”
Enjoy doing new things.
Laugh off your failure and setbacks.
Start again with a smile on your face.
Conclusion

Falling down is not a sin. It is just part of the individual evolutionary process.
Failing in in something ensures your growth and the quality of the final success.
Falling down isn’t bad. It is natural, but not starting again after that fall is what diminishes our
Growth and destroys our self-esteem.
In boxing there is famous thumb rule,
“It doesn’t matter how hard you hit. What matters is how hard you get hit and keep
going.”
Always enjoy doing things. Don’t be afraid of what might happen?
Taking risks is sometimes essential for the success. Risk might not always prove good. But
Even if you fall,
BE THE CHILD.

As Mr. Alfred once said to The Batman,

“Why do we fall?
So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”