PETRONIUS SATYRICONCopyright © 2100 by Hace biking Compan ne A ight seed ntl nthe United Sates of Ames W605 OF 03 2100-2346 Fr futer infomation, plete ade ache Puluhiag Company, Ine Trdanapl 1 46264.0957 sor sehetpblshig com Cover dein by Brin Rak sd on Pein Inne design by Absa Cle Liar of Congen Catling in Publication Dat etnias Abie Saye, Engh Sagicon Feo tant, with notes a piel commentaries by Sah eden ar Ince biographical fences ISBN 087220518 ak pepen ISBN OS7220-510X (pbk sak Ty Sti, Latin—Tasaton nto Englih, 2, Rome—Fleton, 1 Ren Sah Tal, PAGSSBES Ris 000 onassees Sod ° F sector "Permanent of Pape ox Ped Library Matera, Contents Preface Map: The Wald ofthe Satyricon Setyricon ar I: Inwoduciag Eneolpive, Axo and Giton art 2 Qualls Orgy Part: Timalchis Dinner Paty Fart: Eumapus art 5:The Ship of Lichae Part 6: Croton Commentais ‘Who Was FetroniusAnyaay? What Happened tothe Text ofthe Satyricon? Roman Ortory Ancient Views on Senay The Roman Homaehold Roman Dinner Paris Roman Religion Some Literary Influences o the Satricon Posty, Posy the Satyricon Roman Philosophy in the Sotion 1 Selected Bibliography 1 8 a ” 9 Le 3 139 i 150 163 168 1 10 as isPart 3 Trimalchio’s Dinner Party It wa the tind day now, and we were expecting our farewell dnnes 6 but we were dug through with so many holes that we prefered to Moe ‘ater than wat and se. While we were hum and asl debating which tack would ge us out ofthe looming stor, aslave of Agemens rons broke in, He sid, "Say, you dot know were Is happening today? Trmalehio#” whois one highliving individual - Meeps vate clock in his dining room, and atunpeterin sot of wn so thatthe master can laste how mucho is if hes wasted” We fa, otal about our toubles and got deed in our best Giton was happy to pliyour slave fo the ocason, and wet him o come along to the ‘ath to help us get ready {27 Then we wandered around, tll n our clothes, ming jokes snd mingling wth the circles of ballplayers. But suddenly we ss bald ‘ld man, dressed in a dak red uni, tating bal among onghaited bas. These boys were worth loki t but they werent hat dwt tothe performance. It was the head ofthe household in his slippens working ou with a chartease ball He dnt even steve the balls ht felltothe gound—an attendant slave had ll bag af tem with which 'o keep supplying the players. Another innovative feature ofthe scene 46. Accra dane gen a dion who wer abut fice wd het inthe rena Thismay bea abot a enenmet hat Quran hes Iowehoi ae sett oe the young nen schol 4, Aerie are bd on the wo fori” 48. Thee woud be public bts, wich led most ofthe fants oa mod ermal cab Adal tipo the thy wa al far Roman pecan ‘hmer pry See Comment, Roman Dine ate. * mal Dine Paty » vas the two eunuch onthe side ofthe ctl facing the master One was holding silver chamber pot andthe other was countingthe ballot ‘he number whizing inthe sr, Bt thn that elo the stone. While | wos gaping at these fpperis, Menlaus® ran up to me and sa, “This s where you'e propping up your head tonight What your'e see {ng now isthe way a dinner party arte forhim " Menelun was sil el ingwhen Trimalchi snpped his fingers and the one euch held he ‘chamber pt fr him. He emptied his bladder, sted for water, spi Med his fers ighly and died them ona sve hat $28 Wedd hav time to take evrything in, We went nt bathe, took a sauna, and leapt into the cold wate. iimaleio,sosked seented ol at already being pated down, not with the ual nea towels, but with cloths ofthe finest wool nthe meantime, thice manetrs were guzling Falemian wine infront of him They even squbbled and spied lot ft Timah laughed and sid they were ‘making a funeral Nation for him, Then they weapped him tna scalt batho, put him on iter, and camed him down the sees There were four attendants ahead of hrs, desed ia uniforms wth bags, and litle cat carid his pet slave 4 wizened litle boy with ruddy ees uglier than Trimalchio himself The whole ofthe old ‘man’ way home, a musician walked along beside him and played ny Pipes right in sen, at sfhe were telling secret. ‘We were already sated with wonder But we followed, slong with ‘Agimernon, an came to a dor wth thi notice ated tothe fame GENE A UNDHED LASHES ® Inside the entrance there wes a doorkeoper ‘resed ina chaese tunic and cherm-ored bel, sheling pesto a sierra. A gold cage hang ove he esha, andthe spied nag Pie inside greeted us 529 While Twas casting my ees abou in amazement sw sme ‘hing tht realy made me fall on ry back and break my legy To the Jet. you came in, near the dorteepecubile, was awl eating of 'm enormous chained dog, above an inscription: sE¥ARE OF DOO. My $8. An ian to Agimemaen. In Grcek my, Mens sAgmemon's Jungs: te, 50. Wine was pred ont the ground te pps the pt ofthe under 51, “Re” snes wee heated somewhat tne might eat dg or abt sho ocwnonl filed eal fant Soe Commer) 5 The Ronan Hoare feta 52. deat sentence. The word rhe indates the id that ad open thea,» ut3 partners in dis dining venture thought my reaction was ilaion, bt {ignored them. Catching my breath, I looked along the whole wall “There wa slave make, with the sve ll aryng signe describing themsches, and Tomalehio a longhsize boy was entering the cy. ‘Mineraled him, nd he held hers wand ike te one Mercury eae sie. Then you a him leaning how to keep account, then becom fing manager—the conscientious pater had shown ial and put cap tions everwhere Ar the end ofthe portico Mereuy tok Tiimalhio by the chin and lied him up othe mapsrates plato * The goes Fortune was pretent atthe rene, holding 2 hom af plenty and the fhvee Fates were spinning golden treads There was more to we in the portico» group of runners at exercising with thei tine, and a luige cabinet soa ina comer, with «miniature shrine containing si wer Late, 2 marble sue of Vem, and 2 gold box of no pet sie Somebod told me thatthe has fom the fst shave of Himself were sored thee Tented to ask the steward what the other pining on dplayde- pict. "The Tad and the Oehse, he sid, “and those gladator fates Laens sponsored” $301 didnt have ime t ook at everthing deta [Nowe came tothe dining oom, n front of which a bookkeeper was checking asounts, What looked realy range tome war «bundle tf tod and meson the door pos, witha ot of hips beak coming out ‘the bottom of the bundle. On this wae inscribed, "For Gus Pom eins Timalchi, a svi of gusts, from Cinnainus his man 55, Mine here repress atone and he led aden Merry (He sme in Gece) asthe tong of anes, 54. "Timalo ba bees pial o the Boul of Si eporible fr the loc worhip the erp This ce was open former ane ann Sted Seen eres once ha ptatim ed parton in pu te 5. The thc the Fates spn otra the length and quality of mortal ie 56, The Lae fold gs the state of atom dey, and he oven slike ceremonial et sae wold al be onal objec reise Sarforanastocate Roman, at fos eda ie Timah 57. The Homer pc pcm tat were the bans of Grek teary elt 58 Snr had single mae; Talc ns pabblysimply “Taleo” ‘va fecdinan heh asured a ein of etal ee pat Reman tarein {71 he ns auth tan, Magen (Fredmen of Macc ‘at Feedmen were en id ligt in tha nt nae, parent euarmack fie dae inal Dine Paty a ager" There was alo a wobranched lamp with he same insription, hanging from the ceiling A plaque hung on each ideo he dave One ssid "On December 30 and 31, our Cai isdn othe ober hnad'the phases ofthe moon andthe movements ofthe un and the i planets painted ont andthe lucky and unlucky days had markers of ‘Seen color ‘We were simply tuted fll of eights, When we ied to ge int the ining rom, a slave yelled, “Right fet fist” Evident that was hijo Of couse, we wer alrmed atthe thought of breaking the rle Bute we lied our ight feet in tandem, a stipped dave elle before ws de launched into ples for wrt delier him fom «whipping. He hadnt sinned grey, he claimed, o¢ notin proportion othe pais ‘ent tteatened. He had Been lef fo watch the manager’ lates in the public baths—searey ten thousand sestercy worth of clothes ane Someone had tle therm. We drew bck our fet and went find the manages Locating him init fice counting gold exis, we de Tverd or entesteson the slaves Beall. Haught, he lifted hs face to wand sid," the material os that roubles me, much she Cercle ofthat worthless hate, He let ny evening lathes, which 2 clint af mine gave me for my bitday~Tyrienyed fabric and al you know —but they already been wasted once. Oh wel i Tt hin tft fevorta you $31 We felt ousches bound by such a substantial sevice. Now we wentbuck othe dining rom, There, our beneficiary ran up and nailed 2 dense wees of kines. om ur before we could hink of resting He was 59, Tali olin vere oa the eg Buds of rs and ate wee ed by lito, fil senders of higher mages, tea a ‘everest Bend of See ete 9) Spe bea come ‘anal vires sored the rostomof speak’ plato at Rome Toma ‘Gh has eeved sels o the red sd exclave bts at fom Sate but fom his om set The Weg jig of sig beak ode ‘ols and se my bean tempt ca objeciane uh the eso Sow inbd oc. 6 Scena 5. 6, See Commentary 7: Roman Reign, (2 Inset ey, ave could oot wn aybing et ln x ant colored sth the mest een deme Tyran purple Nor nou be cones {te under noma cetmtances fers se pt of re ht a {Commeniay 5 The Roman Hows) whieh based on ae fc, pola and coponi tors Whar he stead veion cere ae Tot his pensions se onageouswhee 2 Pa fal of pase for our kindnes and vematked, “Yue going to find out soon that Tm person who knows howto reir a vor Is the master’ ‘inet that dest ater a lng she waiter your fend ‘We lay down, and save boys rom Alexandria poured water cooled with snow over aur hands, Ofer came along at gave ws pecutes ih a good deal fal, They were silent even in sacha psn tisk—they sng the whole tine. wanted to fad out the whole house hold sang so asked fora dik The water answered me mos realy seth asl mascal comedy number Anjone who was asked for any thing sponded in these wa, that it sounded Tike a sage chor, notthesalfofs respectable dining oom. Tn any ese, thy brought us really swell hors oes. (Everybody had taken hi place but Timah; the place of honor was saved for him, a practice had never seen before} On the zl plate asa Abonkey made of Corinthian bronze and he was wearing litle dies ‘nthe frm of tadalebags containing black olves on the one ide, white fn the other. Two other plates (with Trimalchi's name and the ‘right ofthe sve insenbed on the vim) flanked the donkey. On one ‘ree welded lite briges receptacles for cooked dormice that were Aped im honey and spilled with sesame seed On the opposite platter war a toy silver gil, sarages ontop and Syeian plums and pomegranate sede underneath standing fr bot coals "$92 We were deep in this mary when they cad in Tima hio— to musical acompaniment—and placed him among lot of minescule pillon, Those of wh had own what o expect bust out laugh Teg: The host had on a tightly clap sere cloak that sqihed hs lowe, shaven head ot the top and weighed on his neck in masie fos He had’ napkin, with a senatorial stripe and tals on shoved in there oo. On the litle Finger of his let hand he woe ig ged fing The ing on the hnuce othe net finger looked ike oli gold 153 tn aoa Roman ding 2, the couches omed the sides of ‘wn, iin rt ofthe couches On ae ie mete ie Has ring dwn sre ning. The ee couche andl he he paces Tesch were need thigh meds andl apd allted acer the stl sanding he ies ml agen ime the igh place tom the high covch Sect athe ight fhe open end of the sangeet, ‘there ei oda ak ol Begin —hovaing himself a ast above Iie gues See Commentary Raman Dinner Paes, 64 See 50 (5. Doric werenats delicacy unigaeto Tali ding oom, Wek ‘oath pearson fom aeons wel imal Dine Fay B cacpt forthe ton star shapes welded onto it Ara father dsl, he tured his ight ar, on which he wore gold baclet and 3 cet of ‘voy fastened with giering met pate 133. He picked his teeth with aster tothpck nd si, “Friend, it Aidsuitme to come i et, bata keep fom holding ou up Tze op all my on please. But hope youl let me Bnish my pre here” A slave came ip o him wth bord made of ae terebinth mood, and Cyst les, and then Tsa the date thing ofall rtead of Black and ‘lite counter, he ws wing gold and sver Creck coins, Ashe played The munched on alot af rude longue the ot of thing blackaiths ad wemvest ny oe ther wok ‘While we were stl busy with Ube hors dacuves, the Broxght ina sland that had on ita wooden hen holding her wings oul in a cle, 2 if he were brooding Two slaves came up quickly. At» bast mn the rican, they roted inthe saw for peacock eggs and dibuted them tthe guess. Timalchiotumod hi facet hs ableau and sid, “Paends,Iodered thm o pet peacock egg ner the chicken, and, by Heres, think they may be lea tring into chicks. But es check and sce if thea sckable” Wego eg spoons that weighed atleast alfa pound each, so we could piece the shortbread outer ayer. Tlmost threw avay my egg, benuse it looked as ifthe hick was a ready formed. But then T heard a veteran guest of Trimalchio' ay, “This ought o be something goed” broke the shell wth my hand and found at ig pecker bid cooked in a peppered yolk. $34 Tiimalchioinerruped hi game fo demand helping of even thing for himself, and as yelling that if anybody wanted = mulled «eink, he gave permission for one. Then suddenly the band gave bla dad tling chorus took any all of he hore etres st once nthe uproar, a. dth happened to fall A lve picked it up. Timashia no ced and ordered an earboxig forthe boy and a redeopping af the dish The slave in charge of forishings came in and proceeded to ‘veep the pieces ofsher tothe sie slong with the other rubbish, "Then to long aired Ethinpian slaves came in wth tiny bales ike the ones se for spring the and in amphitheater to keep the dust 6, esi, Tima on thin ie inhi of lrg by ancien lavand cusom The pupeseontr sip was for Roman high oie. ors fran ini orn al pa fers wean be spe ans armen weal be wie dg by wearing npn ith he tie on ald singe col be worm by noone ower han Narn Eigse vecond highest Roman social an polit hs imibdtl below the stato Ti rule's abgoos ings ie idestepping selonPet down, fom which they pored wine onto our hands Nobody olfeced Praied for thee elegant touches, the master aid "Man ies a fair fight everything equal. Thats why Thad everybody asigned his own table abo means thal these sinking saves wont crowd around and Rig then they brought wine bots ily sealed with ypu. La ele were stuck on the ees saying, “Flemian Wine Bote inthe Consulship of Opimius. One Hundred Yes O14" While we were reading th Timalchio clapped his hands and sid, “Too bad Wine lve ger thin we doi pil So down the hatch wth thi huh? Drink some win, le ifn, Thi ire Opin Te giving ou. 1 served worse tl eterdy, and the guests wete much more substantial people” We guzale, and tendered some careful albated pase of the host tte ‘Aslave oughta ver skeleton, put together in sch 2 way that the joints andthe bacibone could be bent in any detion, He tse it ft the table and moved the imbsin order to fom diferent sexual po ‘tions. Trimalchi potded the commentary “This hat appa oral ur fs ‘When Orcs comes o ge hs what wel al come Soule wees aie les have ome $35 Following our prey, there came adh more modest in size than the previous one had Ted ur to expect Bu its novelty dew every ‘one's atction Ita round pater wth the twelve signs of the odie toni above each of which the architect of he thing had placed an ap- Bropriate fond Above te Ram there were “ram's head” chickpeas, howe the Bll piece of beef, above the Twine a pai otesices and a Dui of Kidney, above the Crab a crown,” above the Lion an Aiean (67. Te wat go (Aes in Gree. {The oat f te Roman year wi acording to who had bel the or Sabhiporhighes eecueoice tic change bend anol These bo eshaes ups ebpecte dating swe ©. Ngo athe dvd, 7, We ow th sig ofthe ac by th atin mame, whic Fete in hs pag. 7 Nate Tee's igh pinion of ie. Cancer nhs gs inthe et pag ‘Tima Dine Pay B fg above the Vigin the uterus of baten wow, above the Seles et of seals with ferent kindof cake i each tay, above the Scorpion stinging fish, above the Archer a cos above the Goat a lb- ste: above te Wate Cater poose, and above the Fah two mullet Inthe middle was chunk of od wth» honeycomb siting om thea ‘An Egyptian sve cared around bresd in asvertatket while the matter mutated a sng fom the mime calle "The Siphiam Gatherer" As we gly approached this crude reps, Teimalchio said,"C'mon, lets dine Is inet dine” 36. No ooner war this sid than there was honk of msi and oor Mars dancen® rushed out and satched sway the top lye ofthe plat ter This vealed fattened fowls and sen and a hae that had own fied with wings to make i lok ike ay, fry Pegasus. There sere alo four Maras figures, snd out of ile wineskne they were pouring pepper garum sauce I owed down into ase of channel, tthere there mere cooked sh aeanged af they were swimming The Slaves started the applause, and we took it up before we apecached in ‘nit thee mos select subtances. Thimalhi's delight atthe device sno lesthan ous, “Carer” he ssid caver stode foward and, moving to muse, iced the ood in sch way hat he looked like a gladitor fighting fom a chavo to the "hythm ofa water organ. Sof, Teimalchio kept pling onthe word “carr” Suipecting hat so mach repetition ado mean another pese cof wit [didnot hesitate to sk my neighbor in the place above mine Shout this vey mater He hd cll wifes tings ofthis Kind aed he sid to me, “See the guy whos carving? He'clled Carver When ‘ver fou sy his mame, youte ging him an ode too. Cavey, care or Get {37 Teoulde swallow any more af the fst couse so Ltrmed in ny rave to my previour informant and tied o get the whole story. 1 172, Tent peiap comp. The Greer word spe omething with sharp eye ie the archers bathe wd never occu eet ete TB Labaers have “ot 174 Sip an aromatic at om he Mile Es 75. My sabe foram unasaable pu, bed onthe ame Len word tec “te” od“eto “Tht the cto of ng” 76 na pei te, Maras hoor by dance denen pene. The com neato doner sre probly eto seem gto abi 77, Mangas wa aya goat pt man), a member of mth pce ha stong asco with he wine god Bucs, or Liber (Din Greece) The delicy gm sce hd bse often fh6 ees ed itn who the woman was runing bck and forth, "Shes Tal hi’ wiles he sa "called Fotata,® dont count her money, mes Sues it in bushel baskets And what was she a litle bit ago? Your {uaran spit gonna have to fngive me for saying this yo woulda ‘wanted fo take bread for her hand.” Now she'son top of te werd, Soanchow or other she's Trimalchio al or nthing Anya, Twas high noon and de tld him it ws midnight, he'd Believe he "Himtl doesn kom what he's gb’ that loaded, But that whore takes care of eventhing she's evenywhere—you woulda’ belive i ‘She's dry sober, Enows excl what she's talling about. You can see ‘net all hie gold comes om Btshe' ot nasty mouth on her, ke {pet magpie tng on your bed and squening at ou, She likes you~ ‘eat She does ike you -oveh, Himlf has gt property 2 a as havks ean fly, pas cash on top of. cash. He's got mare silver ying in his dookeepa’s ofice than anybedy the ever inherited. His slaves hells bell Ido think enh rn ow their mater by sight He could toss any ofthese ich bata into a pon and bras “erm. §38 Don't yo think he buys stall. Everything’ homegrown: woo, cedar rein, poppe. Looking for chicken’ mill? Youl ind. Anyway, he wasn’ happy ith the wo rom his estates, 50 Fhe brought rama from Tarentum and had them ball his herd. He wanted his own Attic honey, 0 he had bees imported from Athens ‘Some are gonna breed into his tock and make bis om litle boys it He beter. Jost» couple days ago he ordered mushroom spoor from India, Has go single mle that a wid as dd’ sel thes pil Toms ere they gat purple or scant stalling. This guy who's ond tne inner peace “But dont put down them the fesdmen. Thee loaded, The one in the lowest place onthe lowest coe — ight hundred thousand a the moment, Grew or nothing, Not long ago sed to cary wood on tis back They sy 1 dont know 3 thing about Te just heatd—he soles gnome ht and founds weaswe Buthet kind ofa blowhard, 78 “Lucky Rich” The name ie ose women orfeednomen ecko ‘hover pets Sila "Spy and Csi Cole 79, Ac ote, she non ve be tly ces et wth Jew it Tal cocening fo andthe fro suaition ith prttates widened in the Now Temes ne sintering po of opine 1, See nte 5, Thi nse all common o ope ate taking meting om {nap este can force the crest fo ge wlan ine ‘hanger prety bak ‘mae Dns Paty 7 ee rls ocr man ponies ae 52 The mile aceon he lowe couch See ne 2 55. Aqurtton rom Vegi Aesid (Bok 2, ne 4), Tema pti ‘ha Ups ete lead teeing he es mt be ck 1H. The twelve Obmpin gas ther Reman names were an, Vl Mine (Ces Nena, Diana Mans Mercury jp, Nepne, Van and Apel,a Pet tlt of things propping me up and own a loaf stu both on land Sd sea—a cab tin both places. So I dont never put anything oer the Cab, ‘cause don't wanna cond ny sign. Inthe Lion you get ut tons and boses inthe Vig, sit chasers and runaway slaves and slaves in chains nthe Sele there re bother and perme dealer and anybody else who weighs anything inthe Scorpion, posoness and ‘sain inthe Archer, wall-e people—in the mateplace you se them Laoking atthe vegetables and picking up the lard nthe Coat, those por beards who grow hors an their heads fromm wonying so rch, Inthe Water Carrer, you get innkeepers who water the wine ‘nd people wih water onthe rai inthe ih, caterers and fsbiced fhetrilns Te world tums ike arindstone, and there absay some thing i going on, people geting bom, people dying, you name i (Olay, he Sd in the mide and the honeycomb on the sd? I dont do nothing for no reason. Mother Eaah i the So, round ikea big 9 tnd she got everything god in erika honeyeom." {$40 “Brillant?” weal yelled, iting our hands up toward the cen, and we snore tht compared to Trimalchio, Hipareor and Art sree practically subhuman, Then serants eae in and hung vances tn the coucher-backdtops that shoved nel and hunter ying in wai with spears and everyting ese you would asocate with hunting, We Aidom yer where our sspcions shouldbe headed bt soon aim treme racke came from oud the dining oom and now there were Spattan hounds running around the tables. A plate fllowed, with 3 {enn boron ta reedma's cap on ts head, no les. From seth Fg itd baskets waven rom pal leaves, the one fil of Sian ats, the other of Fey anes. Setup to lnk if they were preset the ladders were litle piles made of biseuit dough: cbviusy it was 2 tothe sm These piglets sumed ut to be pty Evers. Carp, who had hacked up the ft owls, was nt the one to eave the boat nse, itera irenae an wi a beard and leggings and rulcolned short ape. Hedrew 2 hunting and slashed the side of the boar pas- Sonate and trues few out of he ath As thee Dtered sound the dining room, bid eatchers with imed rede” caught them n no time. Timalchio had one bd brought each of sand added, "You ‘sce mbit juicy aco tha onker wat eating in the forest 15, Thos lat wo items inves obcure references to tology and {6 Famous Grek tooo. {7 Bird ime wa ind fe, wed or eehing bis » ‘Assoon a they heard this, saves ran upto the baskets hanging om the tusks and divided the diferent figs smong the eves by cael count 41 Means, in the privacy of my mind, ls pulled pat ‘by various speculation concemting why the boot had come in wth» freedman’s cap on. Alter Tad internally used wp all of ry stupid ueseIsteled myself ask my informant about this mate tht was {ocaring me. Heid, Even your sve cou tl you thi if nota dl, ast common sense. Tis oar war spore tobe the igh pot of the dinner yesterday, butte uct et it go Tats why comes back to ‘ourpaty today asa eda" cused my thickheadednet and didnt ‘ak any more guestions, aad that & would look i | had exper ‘ence of decent ciety ‘Daring this interchange, a comely boy came in, rowed wih vines and ivy leaves. He called hinsel Bromus then Lys, then Eis He cared bunches of grapes sound nit basket ad tavested his ‘masters poems ina squealing vice. Trimlchi fied this sound head ‘on and sud, “Dionys, ave your Liber!” The boy tok the cap of freedom off the boat and placed it on his um head. Then Tiimalchio tiddd, “You'e not gonna be able to say Ton have Father Liber, ‘which mest fe fxther ya Know™ We pase hip, and when {he by eam around for congratulations, we Hed him thorough. ‘Aer this couse, Tnalelio gt up to go tothe tlt. Seizing or conn hbery in the abenceof our rant, we ted to get the ctr guess to talk some more - Dama, afer asking for bigger wine cup sighed, A da’ nothing Turn atound, and is night. There's nothing beter than ga’ straight om bed othe dining oom sa hells cold day weve ha here too. The balf—hath barely warmed me wp. But hot dns clothes dealer who sel you »god hick cloak. Tve poured sthole jars down me, and 'm really ised. The vine—wine™-went Straight my head” {42 Seleucis ook up the talent. dot tke bath vey dy. Inthebath, you'e ke a loth tthe laundry =the water got test nt. Your heart melts litle everyday. But when {drinks pot of ruled vine tel the cold ogo sre ise. But today I coulda wath now Hal togotoa funeral That re man, decent man, Chants, ve up the ghost and sno more Just afew days ago he was theres the 88 Cat names of achat, ot Lie, th wine gid |59. The puns the Latin wore Lier Pote either was something 0 formers ie Timah cul cai 50 Teas a Seite, nota Roman ctr aol thing ding pid ruringFy Pow shes sili tome, fs ke he ail here no Ws ju too darn bd ‘wee walking aound, but thee’ nothing more inside ws than swe was ‘her Bowap laden. Weve wosth the same as His—n0, sve got Something to ther. Were lke bobble. Ihe jst had gone on that “it or fv days he didnt pat dip of wate in his mouth and not ‘crumb of bread nether, Well hes gone of where mot people have tone alteady. The doctor him in=n, it was bad ites or somethin, “aute «doctors good for notin’ butt tate you think youve gonna {eel beter But he had good ies, proper couch, ie blanketsom Cot fine show of breast beating fom the guess, to bunch of them were former saves he set fee though his wife barely bothered to cry, Oy, she didnt teat he as good as he might of But women-you know ‘omen theyre like alosk of ult. It dont help to dono good Fobody. 1s Ike throwing it down a well But loves festering sore tinder yours” {43 He eas being pln, and Piers shouted him down, “Le talk out the ving uh? He got what wat oning to him. Doren ie, de- ent death, What hs he got complain about Hl had itmade, sated om nothing ade would have fae a pent ou of eeamare ple with his teth senting he loached grew ike = honeycomb. By Her ales think he left a good hundred thousand, all in cash. But ell You the th, and wold ie a you any nee than a dog wou be tsa mean bastard, had a real mouth on him-he was a walking fight His brother wat a taighorward Lid of guy, ested hi fiends right, what wr his as thei, new how to throw a party But when Chan ths was geting ated the Blubid of happiness crapped on ht il he wiped himelf of, and with hi first vintage he war walling all: he cul ell at ouch wine a he had, And wha seal gave him si was that he got an inheritance that gave him a chance to swipe more than he gota Bat he got ad at his beater and lle his money sway oot af he family, to somebody wth no more background than a weed grow lng oto edit 1 long tip wen yo leave your own people be hind Buthe had these aves helitened tas they had» dec ink o the gos, and they did him dwn you believe what people tl you, you never get right, 3 len if ye aborinesman, Bot he ad fg00d time, long as he lived. No justice in this wot. He was Lady {Tack rhe boy, lead timed to gold in hishand Weary, when al 9, Lely," have eaten 2 doy ange” Dag were ssocited with he nie pilphy, which rected soci conent and secede, See fae 8 Pho i ying te bing prety Bank od ot elo palit Timah your blocs of stone ol long ike wheel. And how old do you think he ‘vas when he went? More han seventy. But he was hard es hom, aged well hc lac at a row: Ine the man fom vay back and he wat as randy ar eer I dont think e [ef he dog alone, He war mot one fr the boys, buta jack of all ads, guess. ve got nthing agus "Thats the only thing you tke with you 144 Thos spake Philero.Ganymedes answered him thus: “What eaten about ha at othing todo with anything Nob seems tocar ow the cos of bread gets you. Tay I couldn finds mouth Teould afford And the way this doughs heeping up—fora whole yar sow its pe steration T hope the adie get what they deere for laying the bakers’ game. You srsth my Back, TI stateh your” "Thats why the litle people are having sucha hard time, and the big- wigs have Saturnalia all year ound. we jst had those ons found Ihre when [int came fom Asa. That ws ving. Whe high-rade our fiom Sicily went downhill, the magstates wed to pound them seers on the heads like the wrath ofthe ges emember Sins when wat a boy he used to lve bythe old ach. He wat a peppecom, nota man, He uted over he ground when he walked, But was up "ah, rlable, loyal fend iyo treated him ight. You coud have Played guesshonsmanyfnges in the dark with him. When he was in the Senate oue blasting say at people one by one, he id Jo 29 of those hetorial dances, ju talled Sight. When he was arguing 3 tase in court his voice bce ikea hor, And he never sweated or pt [think the gods Bese him with a teal sol likeconattaton. And he asso chim ansuering your greeting, remembered everybodys name, Justlike one of us Back then, bread was dit cheap. The loa you could ty fora penny, you coulda gobble up witha fend’ help. ve seen bulseyesbigge than what you get now. Darn tits worse every oy “The town's going backward ike eal tal. How come? Well we've gotthistwobiteedle who sell usall ora penny He's siti all cozy at Frome, makes more money in day than anybody ee has goin the family And now | know where he got that thousand gold dena, though Tim not yin. we had any balls we'd wipe that grin of his face But he peopl aeons at home ad fxs in publi: A for me, Te sol every rag I ommed just 1 fed myself and if prices dont go down Tin going to have ole that itl shack of neg, Whats going to happen if nobody, god or man takes pity on this town? I bet 92. Thee fis were espns forthe replat of ktaces 93. The Somalis was veda etal in December of wich hems tk rng feture aro ever ween ase ad lesx Pet} snything that hi all judgment oma: Nobody thinks the gos are real, nobody obseries the fas. nobody ges «damon about Japs ‘They pretend to be praying, but while thei eyes ae closed theyre i uring out how rich they are right now Before, the matron thei ong dresses went up the hil, barefoot. ai lose, pure in ther thoughts, and aked Jupiter fo Send tain. And right away st started pouring by the pitcher Ike tas never gonna get another chanee, And they all went focklaoking like downed ats Bur wee nt observant anymore so the gods have red ther backs on wx The Beds re yng" $45 "Hey sai Echion the rg dealer. “Watch what you'e saying ‘The gods can hea it ‘Some black, some white, some shades of 2 like the farmer described his lost spotted hog. Wait til tomorrow if soute not happy with today. Thats how life lumber along. By Her ols, wed havea peret tm if were fl of these pesky human brings Thee ae hard times, but theres hard timer everywhere. We should be picky: we all and under the same sy you were some- where cbs, you'd that here the pgs walk around already roasted “Ane wee gonna havea gest show in ree dy on the holiday es not some pack of snes fom gadator shoo ® but most freed sen, Tits got big dese, and be relly goes fort. One thing or ar ter, ther alway be something 'm in and out ofthat house all the time, and believe me, he dn do things by halves If gonna be pure steel, no merey, a buichers shop in that amphitheater, plenty forthe ‘row tate He got the wherewithal. He gt lef tity milion een es when hit the id, Too bad fhe pends four hundred thoosand hisinhertance isnt gonna felt, nd people wll be alling abou him forever Hesgt ome dares, ada woman who fights Flom a chariot and Giyeo'sstevard, who got caught entertaining his mises, You'e tonne the people sagengit xt inthe stands over hie gy, the je tus husbands agaist the love poos But Gjeoatwobit character for {ving hs toward to the wld anal He' just making fo of bie fell The poor slave only did as she ordered him. That pie pot of 2 troman isthe oe the Bll ought o be tng. But you can't beat the ‘donkey, you best the saddle. How did Cisco think Hermogenes brat ‘wold tm ot, anyway? That guy could have mined the nal of = Tk Bin’ past him, and she’ the same. A cobra dont sie a rope Geol mean Cyn had As lang a he lies, bl have the 4, Tato Roman religion dd ct inca fart oily, «ech in foc oe Ronn ways eel Mile Eater inane 5 To pet sme en oe atop ltr col, iagine hy team made upline seving i sence Timah ine Pary 2 ‘mark of what hes done, and nothing but Hades wail take it of. But ‘rerbodys got their om sins o worry about Arany tte, Tm getting whiff te banquet Marne’ gonna gi ‘soon, with a fof two dena ech for me and mine. (thats hat Ihe dos, he's gona get al ofthe ves and beat Norns. Full peed head he's gonna win T mea, what did Norbanos ever do for? Two bit, broken-down laters —blow on them and they lover. ve seen people thrown tothe animals who did beter He klled we «bunch of| toy horsemen, wh put up the same kindof gt chickens would The ‘one was thin 2 sick, the ane he ought was andy legged, and the thallenger ofthe winner war» hamsnung wreck a dead the ler ‘The Thracian was the only one with ay spit, and he jst ought by ‘he ues, that no Fi, They all got whipped inthe end, thete wat so many peopl yeling, ‘Civ to Uber Iwas ike a out Wel he said, gave yous show Good for you, Add it up, and Tgive you more than Lagt One hand wases the other 46°" know what you'te thinking, Agamemnon: ‘Whats thet boo blabbing about now?” Wel, you could conversieate, but you don't ‘oute not oust, so you lak dow onthe tal of people wth lower soo economic stat We now yoo our head frm reading but ‘whatare we gonna do? Am I gonna alk you into cong out to he fra omedsy wo sce my litle howe? Wel find something to get or tet int, a chicken eg, whatever. Ie be nice, even if the weather this yearas dot evrything to bell well ind something til op on “That lite squirt of mine's groving up. Hel bea student for you soon. He can aleady sce his times table up to four Ihe lie, youl Ihave a litle servant t your side. Any Sime he’ fee e's got his head ent over his writing tablet Hes bgt he's good sal, but hes erny sont bird led thee of his inches and sah that a Wesel te them He found other hates, though, and ily he likes to paint. He’ one with the Greks nos and he coming at Latin erature” not ding so bad wither, even Tis teacher thins the world of ie and neve ticks tothe point There's another one, though, who does Tow much bttakessome touble, and he teaches mote than he knows hime He spends holiday the fr andes happy with any py sre hi “Now Ive bought the bo a bunch ofthe law books, ‘case T want him team lite law oe in the fay business. That kind of thing, 96, "Taian" wee gn of ightanned lato, 5, The say of Grek iterate came fis ve or aie Latin pester SeeSsR Rana buys groceries. He’ already had more literature han’ gpd or him If he doen cooperate, ve decided to et him tained trade: barber of herald ora least advocate, Nothing but denth can take your ade away Every ay I el at hi, imine, believe me, whatever you ican youre learning it fr yourelt Youve head of Piero the advo cat ithe ad leaned stad, db hungry everyday. He wed ‘ay pede’ gods atound on his back. Now hes squaring up against Norbu Books sa tear, and a tde don't ie 14 These were he ort of monologues Bering around when Tie snlcio came back. He wiped hs lvcead nb his hans with pesfame, and ate br pune sid “Frendn forge me For das how my stomach hast answered the summons, The doco dont cow what todo. gotsome help from pomegranate rnd and pine rexin im vines, though and T hope my tun’ gonna Bebave agin, But fo "ght row its roaring ke «bull So if any of you wants tke some presure of ounel I undentand. Theres no reson tobe ashamed ‘Were not bor solid iid I dont know ofan ttre tha so bad as hing itn Ben per ear old sn What re you lnughing Ftunata Youte the one who Keep me upat night with your oie In 1 dining oo, I never kept nobody om dng what hey needed, andthe doctors tel you not to Beep tin Ifyou gt the ge to doa bt Imor, evrything’ ready ide: wate, pa, al he other ods and tnd Believe me, you canbe the sxe vapor ping out bn ‘nd spreading trough your whale boy. ve known lot of people ode that way, ol waning to ny whet wx going on, even themselves” 'We thanked him for his Kinds and generosity and ured to pres ou laughter wth uinteruped lp ofwine But we dda thow Yetthat we ada ol hay pte lope, they sy Aer the Bles were cleaed~more music fr ths tee whe pl, with ha ness and elon, were brought into the room. The aunce: ud that he one wan two year ol he second thee, and the thd a thought maging bean acrobat show tha the iy ee ging o dots, ayn eet petfornances But Timalchio baited this x Dectation. "Which one do you want to have for dinner sight any? ‘Yokes sere chicken, eserle al that nonsense, My cooks Know bow tobai cles whole ns pot” Rihtavay he called cook aed witht ating for our choice, ordered the sds! pig cooked. "Wat he ‘outed. What dion you in? Teeth” “Were ou bgt or born ia he howe” 98 Thunder dine feng? “Timah Dine Bey “Nether Pn eo oun wl” Dow god tena hve ouput inthe menenge squad” “The eal adored of his mae pow, aed ne el no the kichen §48Tmakho ted ow wis pnt. ou Aone ewe change is cp, io Et ha deer you enoingyoanel generally Bye foreleg doy itoraming oe Exeingto make oor nth wt rom ony County et which Fe ner sen mele Thy ny borden on ‘Bracnson one pd Tren one ter wnt tod Sy ty property th en el Me ging Aen though ny om ero “it Agamemnon ht conto did you do in declamation toda? ange cae bot Fe ead oad ard wef ns in non tpt dwn ok ean Te gl om renee ‘reckon atin So ond pene sc Ct) of our del “Arch man and poor man hada dspte— Waa er mat “Verity sll Agamernon anon some contoveia or ater mete Temalehi sd ft ae. appends nes tething conor shot da’ happen oy ing ap va ‘Wetton wall of hw olin evo, nde continued “guerra Tl ein emenbe oe ee bor of eral Osha ty sot Obes an am he ops ‘rch thinb on witha pr pic asl ead alin amet hen wa by Taw he i tC ith my omm ees Shea hanging ns bot an wen the gue ad her What do you want Si thei Tame toe 99. Thee ain town ae unde omc apa 100, See Gomes: Roman Orton, 101. Herel fought monte and permed er ts oad humankind snd esm ims nora on Obsapes 102. Ti aging of Homer, Ue pt out the Clg one ee with ate. (Soe Oday, Bost 9) 105, T.5- Blt quate ths paage of Peroni at the Bening of The Wane lan. The Sibyl t Cue (neat Nal) wars egenday prophets Apollo feed o gather any fear she ese heel eos ny yee ‘ber pins of nd she eld in bet hand bu ele oi fr tea uth Thee ke geen and wa ally eed or fy a WME WA49 Before all ofthe intelectual wold had succumbed tothe di «eof his comversation,a plate with an immense pg on i tak oer the tables We were stuck by the peed ofthe cooking and we swore that even a chicken could be done in so shot time: We were even mote suspicious in that the pig looked bigger than before, THimahio inspected it more and move elsely and burt ot, “What We? THis pigiont gute By escent yall The cok stood in front ofthe table and ringed and suid he forgo te to gt the pa. "What You ergot! He ss ike he at og putin pepper snd cumin Strip him ‘Ina moment the cook wa sipped and sanding between to ofthe punishment crew. We stared fo beg him off“ happens. Pes, let him go. Ihe des it gun, none af wil saya word for hia” But as ual as feeling intolerant and punitive. I cold’ hold melt back fiom leaning over to whisper in Agemernon’s ear, “ve never seen such a worthlesslave in my fe, Hew ould woe forget to gut ig? By Hercules, woulda pardon him ithad been a fh he fos {ten to gut” But Trmaehi' ae related int grin, ‘Okay. Since you ent emember nothin got itn fon of ws ‘The cook got his tunic back on, eatched ke, and jbbed ca tious athe pig stomach here and thet no te the weight ofthe flesh widened the cuts, and sausages and black puddings Dogan o pour $50 The saver applauded this tick and shouted, “Long lve Gaius!" "The cook gota dink and she crown ta read ad the cup came to him on ty of Corinthian bronze When Agamemnon ‘moved up fora closer look ath, Timalehi snd, “Tm the only one in the word who's got teal Corinthian ware” I thought that in ine with his othe bragging, he would say that he imported tableware dieiy from Corn, bathe onli hime “Maybe you want to know why Tm the only one who's gt real CCocnthian wate. The dealer I buy fo’ called Corinto, thas why: [Hs Corinthian because iteomes om Corntos—se? But dot want you tothink ina didlehea. know uct where Corinthian bronze fat came from, When Hun wa eptred, Hab, ha sly bastard, piled upall ofthe bronze and gld and ave sites ome ple andi 2 fie under them They tured into ct of mined brome ut of 104 Senate 8 105, Antique Cretan ons objects ete highly pried 106. Ths bing fhe yf he scking of Tyr ki), which ‘he sty of Home Hadise lade. Toy set in Aas Mo pest day “Timah Dine Paty a” this lob the crafsmen took chunks and made plates and dishes and fg lines Thats where Contin comes from-—its everthing togetet, ot one thing or another, but one big gab. youl pardon my saying fo. ike gn beter— doesnt sel, away Ii dda rea, would better than gol, but ike iti, ot worth han S51 "Bot dd yo know that there wat mith who made alas bot the that did't reske They Tet him int se Caesar with his git He made like he mas goa take it back from Caesar, but isteade thee iten te tes Caesar atabout sit. But the rh picked up the bottle fom the Bor. It da dentin, ike bonze vase. Then he pale Title hammer out f his pocket an took hi sweet time mend fg the vase: When he was done, he fhought he had Jupiter by the alshe sure thought that afer the emperor asked, "Nobody else ows aout this latemakingecnique, ight” And getthis when the Stith sid no, the emperor had his hea ct of, ‘case f word go out, pid would be the price of mad, Tami fa fan of lve. $52 Tot treezalon goblets that show how Casandra kl het sons, ad the id are ig tere 0 real you'd thik they were alive. [gota bowl ing Mio eld mat, here Desde stg Nabe pin the Tijan hr! Plas Pe got al ofthe fights of Hlenmers and Pe frites on up, they weigh fon. E would sell my tate fr no money ‘While Timalchio wat lecturing to us a slave dropped cup. The mater gave hm lok, "Go ll yoonel, you useless plece of trash “The slave pouted and begged for mercy ‘Why ee you aking me? Tm no the one whos a pain inthe as. Go tell youre nat to beso wees ‘We ected pardon forthe slave, who then began to ran round the tale in his reliet “Turkey destoyed around 1200 ne and remembered in he Jeged ofthe “Tian Wa Halwa general om Carthage, n Noh Aa ho id Siege toand enue oe Resale tun agua Spine 219 BCE 107 Kar Medes who le ersn,n evenge ores hskan’s nti ses Cosas nats lian pce ho ied young nd cides. King Minar aho fig in mthloy Tealebiot mention i ihr bie {rote ea fom 2 capt et The Teja hove ms boll wooden ‘Stu in hich Cre mahi whe ma hauled it Toye $8) ‘Donny ns a yt Athenian vet, and Niobe was ute punished fering abou er ety bythe death fal oe ee 108, There gaits mee metond were daring he est cet Cx hich cota shat te the Sayin hs sia8 Pat Tmaleio wat yelling, “Weterout wine ni” That was iariously clever that we had to show our appreciation — especialy Agamemnon, who knew how to qual fra tepeat ination. Encourage by cur Praie,Trimalchiosoused cheery: When he wat lose to Hatout rank he sid, “Nobody asked Fortunata to dance. Believe me, no- Frey soe eget ear feet omer em tary above his head and iitated the ator Sys. The lives sng along witha fake incantation from some ply He would ave gone othe cee ter fhe room to dance where we could ee hi beter, but Fouts ‘ame up to whisper in his eat, probably saying that uch ting behaw- for did not bet his poston. I never saw anyone ao unpreditable Sometines—now, for eample—he listened to Frtunata, and some times he went hit own 9a {53 In any cae, he was distracted fom bis for dancing by ane ‘ountan, who ead whatounded like he dy news at Rome. Yul 26 ‘Onthe estate at Gua hi bys and fry gi were bor. Fost tho: sand boshl of gain were tanseed fm the theeshing loo into sor ‘age. Five hundred oren were broken tothe yoke, The slave Mit. ats! was erucfied for cursing the guaran spit of our Gai. On the same day, tn mlion settee were retuned to Ue treaty, for lackaFinvestment opportunites Alo there war fire in the Gardens of Pompey: it broke out n the mansion ofthe overseer Nata “What” sid Timalchio, "When dd I bay the garden of Porpey?” “Las yat sid the accountant. “This the it ime they've figured inthe secon “Timalcio was furious. “IT buy apiece of land and I don't hear oat within sr mont, den dont ant itin the account tall” ‘Now theaeiles! ead ther eps. A couple of forester wills rte- fully acknowledged that Timslehio had declined to be one ofthe hei 2 Then came the repos af bali and an accout of comp troller’ separation from his reedwoman partner, who had een cut 109, An enti dace 10, Al th mame feel Mile Eastern potent Un, Nomalya publ oc In many reer spel eel by hit see Tama oul ara peered on 112. The prac of making one's fend nd fry “ain” wth he em reas daring the more septal epime.The emperor wc Kectibed with lage portant nthe hope that he oul allow ie ther bea to kepada ba asl dotnet rant Trmalehios Die Fry x” with bath atendant. Finally, we learned that a steward had been banished to Boise." a manager had been indicted, anda apt be ‘een vo lets had gone to cour. ‘Arla that was al over, and aiobats came onto the seen, Some big, unk held up a ladders that boy eld climb it and dance tous con the tp ng, Thre was jumping though Mami hoops and ing (ofa sigalon jug with teeth, and that sot of thing, Tsmalch wa the ‘only one impresed. Heid hat ti at form was sadly unappreciated ‘Acrobats and trumpet pajes—thas what be iked, Other enti ments were pure cap. “Thought some dave who knew Greek comedy, bot Thad them do Atellan face. And T made ny Grek te player py pop tunes {54 He had’ ished this cities! summary when the boy fell ontop of him. The saves made an upenat—we gue di oo, ba not beeate ofthe lowlife aerobt. He could break his neck forall we aed, We ust did't want the diner pty to end with us going ito ourning fo someone we din tive a dann sbout “Tmalchio sobbed and groaned and nursed his arm, which relly Aida lok badly injured te me. Doctors came running fom al dee ‘ios, and Fortsnata wa inthe fit wave ofthe teat bes hae and bringing 2 basin. Woe as he, what had she done to deserve thi? she ciclaimed. The acaba who had fallen wasted a tine in making the rounds, throwing himself tall of the gues feet and aking sto inte ‘ene on his behalf Thad an table sspicion tht thee plese were he prlidetosome new tick I sil hada ind the cook who ad “orga. fen" to gut the pig {peered around the dining oor, hall expecting some stage machinery to bust out of the wall was ever mere on my guard wlan somebody began to beat a slave fr wrapping the asters Sn ina bandage that was plain whit rather than parle | wasnt ar ‘wong about what watt come: Trimalchinordeted the seobat who had files on him toe st free rther thn punted, That wy, noone could ever ay that so geata man had heen injure bya lave 85. We voiced our approval of thie dection, acd ean to nafer bout the propensity of goed forkine to take tumble. Right ed Ti Inalcho. “And I wanna commemorate thi downfall with a couple of Ties” He sks fora wating tablet and, without acking hi bri too Tong ected 115, Acro athe Bay of Naples 114. Amblteany Roman gene fd, ots ery hah pie.ER GRGS cememe 2. « 3 The unepeted slay ity For behind Ad Forres ber owe ogenedenie ‘Wher ing oro Fema mine!” This epgram opened up the subject of poets. Mopsus the Thra- cian” seemed tbe held inthe highest vr general But Timalhio Stid to Agamemnon, “Youre a teacher how does Cicero stack up pnt Publis) Cicer’ move sort of loguent but think Publi isha got solider values. Ever hear arhing ines than is? These of Ma! i pling uy, Gruhn the ave mw flax “The peacock cl Bubylniantapesby fps teen apy Stes elcome gn pst wh lender ep ‘And att ill gene mh young Aan ata fing ede om fot, Hasneedin your eating ptf ed ‘Whatane he coy pea white ey gown Inna Shoal ons westing he Inga fh sea ion ong els Anarene a therein ht? ‘What poo emerald wd dl, ‘Orcarbuelr thn tne ion Bi? ees shine mot bight lan gers? ‘Shoo bie potom xi mde of ind, Ad abel wate tet in ine clo? $56 “Olay being coarse had, ba has the second hard sit denon he A et SBleto gues whats ging oo popl gue. He gta pedi when feet gonna stat Bt tdi, They pt me nat of nthing tar dueh met Your money changers gp it hard ecrse he has ee rough these cetng he wees copper. ee ting about imal then the hardest working ones eet and sheep. The ns 115, Three itor eidence forthe exitence asc pon the tne tak ram sur the en's pas? 16, Cicer ws the rete Rome tor, Publis wit of mies, hich wetes popular biter amo eeiment The fawn ier ste ro {Sivas of Publi rater hans qutaton fom bi wor TIT Tats Rome wth wae ly. Mawar th Roman go of | | | | “Toate yoursppette Numidian hens | dod euch eon se you Even the te, ‘Timah Dery a {eed usally pulling them plows and we owe itt the sheep that we can strut around in good clothes Think its cutageous tat some people ‘wear clothe and ext lb at the sae ine. In my opinion, bees te ‘magic animals, ating up honey that way—even though theyre sp posed tobe geting it om Jove! They sng, but where tes’ some ‘hing sect there’ gota be sething that huts fo ‘On he went puting the philosopher out of work but he wa inter pled byaslve coming around with rfl of cards and ecg the sames of party fora the cards were sewn “Hann” he rice wa ham ed pit sing “Hendra oot of neck mest. “Tesolin ie yan my gg “Coote sow aha and some god me ‘Ragpeckerand Breathe” fa al sed me Mc honey “AT diese up fr daner or he oun’ pst eet and wing et “Deg net ands he for ft’ she anda shoe Pao uh a den pat nd he gee “The leer tastes, 57 Arcos never id bother to old back He threw his hands up in sareasie wonder and lnghed himself toe. Tis gered one of Tie rmlehio’s fellow feedmen—the one next to me, in fct—-who de ‘manded, “What re ou Taping a, you dnb cx? the gentleman ‘ur host elegant enouph for your Se, youve got mote money than he got. Your parties te lots beter. The gods ofthis pare help me: were Tying nett that guy Ta shut his bleating mouth wp. Nice job, lauhingat eer people when youre nothingbutaanaway not woth our own pit IFT let that dumbass have he would iow which ‘nay tot By Hercules, takes me awhile to get worked up, but he's ‘king frit Like they sa, ithe meats roten the worms se gone bred: Hes laughing Whats he got Ig at Yeh, I bth fther sowed heap of money to the gd, to get son fie 2 him. Youre a 118. This pase oes i terete haber sty Bes were ene net ony fr thr prodaction of honey, bt rt alge al epee 1D. Some fhe loving pus ate usable, sn ples have ho substiute simla oleate tetent of thi scion cn be fund ‘Wai elton ad ots,2 Pen Roman knight? Sur, and Fm king son So hy was Laslne? [0 tunered I thought i was bet to Becomes Roman ctizen someday than ty provincial jt payin’ the tage. And [hope ive fe that dont make me nobody joke, Tm a man good a: any other, walk with Inyhea igh an do hide rom nobody I don ome red cent No- ‘body alt me into court mabody stops me in the forum and 3, "Pay tpl Tve bought a bitof and and some precious metal, Teed tn stom “ths and the dog aswell I Bought ny pater out of davery to Kep er Ina’ ty hands off her I pid athoosand dena for my own fe ‘ko, voted onto the bard in charge a the emperor’ worship. ted they waved the usa ee, When Tm dea, {woot blush about he Tif le. You're busy psig judgment on other people? Why don't you srtch your ov a? You se Toure on someone elie, butthere' 2 tick ton you! Yue the only peson ee ho thinks were fans. Lok a Dour teache, be likes sand you oughta take your cue fom some Teds hi, who's been around, Youre stil ming, Baven'said your Fint words. I eould break you lik aay jt, ip you like apiece of Teather ths ted inthe water, So you ve got more money Dhan we da? ‘You can have to hunehes and two dinners everyday, for al Tea. My fp name wort more fo me than piles of money Here's the bolton Fin: pay whe the ill comes [wae a slave fr Forty eats, but nobody new whehet | wos slave ove, maa ite boy mt longhair when Tesme here. The town hall wasn't even bstyet But Took caret live up omy masters expectations. He was the est an that eer Was— Is lil pinkie was worth moe thn ll of yi There were people in that houte who ted tn tp me up-the sual stuf—but my master’ tzuatian spit looked out for me and Tame ost smelling like arse “That wan el workout, beease, Tm telling you, being bor ree a cosy as ordering lunch, What are you staring t You lok like a goat thats sted hil on velch ands jst standing there waiting to x” {58 Ari trenchant obsertion, itor (oho was standing mn aten- tance) let out his longauppresed laughter in loud soort—rather un 120, The second hight cla of Rar the esto clas The des tation ns sgl tay othe gh" mere thse wey enough ‘euip ese to ene a heart opie hel or Boe nd the sequel armor The property qalfcton for tights wa hus hh ight, when monger seated hasemen, erfomed her peal Fane tin such aden cerin ity iors, orerment anal Ina, ty 80 By he ine oe Repl here ws io {ising igh om ena natu and peg. 121, The Baud S See note 54, ‘inact Dinner Paty * seemly,Asyts adversary trned othe Boy, redtctng his harangu, You to? Yar laughing you curh-haied ile pik? Happy Sota las hey? Its December already? Wend you pay yout edo tx? 2 You nt good for nothing but to get aed ona crs and feed the crows with your body while tot so mad yout gona think it Jove himself coming down on youand on that 9 to, who dont bother to conta you. sweat by the read tha file ny bell {make shor work ofyou right now fant forthe gentleman our host who's 2 feedman like me. “We wet all having nce tme, but then you worthles—Hke mas- ter ke lve I can bel keep ny hands off you™-not hat Um ran by mature, but once T ge started would give two cents for my own mother Tim gonna meet you afersards, out in publi you litle piece ofshit m gonna put yourmaterinadama ght place nl wort or {about you ether by Hercules. You can steam to uptr on Oy posi you man, bt ts not gonna do you nn good. If dot keep my ‘word then Tm not alive and siting hee in Ron of you. Lo ofp that ‘wobitwig and your twit masters gonna be then, et me gt my teath nto you Ether dont know myself or youte nat gonna be aug ing for long, even if you put on a gold beard Hike god's tatu. gona bring Athena down on you ike atom of ricks—you and tha guy, Bethe’ in your pants never died geometry, or cries theory, o ay of ht cap, but can ad ls ete, and wy ts ae, Which is good for small change or weights and measures o big cash ‘mounts, dest mater Let ele this with a bet Come on, pt down 4 wager: Il show you your daddy waited his money even you 80 now seta “What pat ofthe body comes fam aloes? Or this ome: What dats around bot never changes place? What part keep growing but hep setng shore? Tye got you now, Lean ee, Youve stumped, youre seunyng aound for «Way out ike a mouse in a ps pot So you can Shut up now and leave your beter alone, They dont even know you eis Uns yo hink Fm impresed by tht te gol ing can 122, See nce, 113, AteofS percent ware onthe metal ied sla, See Com sentry 5 The Roman Howell 124. Conceniog the sme of eoifision 46 the sry ofthe Widow of Ephesus ITT 12 125, Pole amen the ft theo, 126, The accusation ofa ples tat, Sete” Pat sce is made out of beawood. Did you ta it from your gifend? 1 fear, by the god of getting ahead Tes go to the ovum and do some rsnes. You ind ou what my ron ing em do. You'd ook about 2 gd fox soaked inthe rain Tm your executioner I'm gonna ‘hase you down. IT don the gods can make ito dont make money tnd i ike a penteman, and nobody in town sy, "God, wanna de lke that.” The guy who taught you te behave ike you dois teches, het a turd. When we were young, we Iered what we had to Snow: Gurteacher sa, Have you got ou things together Go straight home [Nolooking sound, Noack alk to your elder’ Now is pure crap. No- ony rons up worth dara Ta he man thts siting i rent of you Lowe io my ting "89. Arcyten was pied to respond to this abuse. However, Timal cho thought thatthe choice sloqueneeof hs fllow feedmman had harmed vs long enough. “Come on, no more squabbling” hes “etrall calm down Hermeros let he boy alone. Hes young and hot blooded, You should et an example for hi, There's one way to win 3 fight ike this: you back down, When you were adel, you did't have no bitine ether Le tart over and enjoy oueves. Look it ny Homer ester” A ugle of them came in, slarming thei shields and spears to- exter Tiimalchio tok «seat next fo them on ig plow ad read loud in Latin, with» sinpong vie, whe the recites went through thei usual pretentious exchange of Creck vere, Wel di end aera wile "Then Tvnalchio sid "Ya know what myth they doing? Diomede and Ganymede were two brothen. Helen was thet ste. Agamemnon Eidnapped her ar lefts de so Diana would nom the diference So Homer tells us how the Trojans and the Tatentines had this big war [Agnmernnon wo of couse, and had Achille mary is dager. So Arwen rzy-but hell ll you abou it himsel."= 127, Signet ng were edt gn conti (a imprint wat made in the doc seven 128A mani gli of pth Hee’ bothers wee Cao nd Pll Dhoede nd Ganymede were reper «Oreck nator who fughin he “Tan War young Tj nce ped by Jer Ze) and then mode the tapeae the gs as, Teja nce, dnapped Hele, Ager ton edhe Ciek forces wr tee her Apmemen ws uel ‘Sie soon dhe Iphigenis reve te wind at ali ad ig he “embed Grek Het oT ight th Threaten ale af ab ‘Ron eng mode or ghigenen ara ete tht the young cul be Spied ay sky, tte agey mas sped to be die Ta the Thal Dine Paty * The Homer eiters sated yeling the sve ued out ofthe way, and, on ta that must have weighed two hundred pounds, a entire bod calf is brought in. fend helmet ons hea. joe came in next, wth @ drawn sword to sigaiy that he wat indeed insane, He hacked up the elf and with forehand and backhand motions gathered ‘up the pices ad shared them ou among the tated guests, {$60 Butwe didsthave longo gape a ital tum of events The ceiling panel began to groan, andthe whole dining room shook. Named [got up forall knew, a scobat war about oem down through the oat No es stnned than Iwas, the ther guest loked up to ee what dvne portent was on it way. But he ceing te mately sung aside, and 2 giant oop wat lowered down into the om All sound tng old galands and alabaster bolle of nguent. Thee, we ‘rere tol, wer our pty Evo ake home, Looking tthe table ‘Now there war aay covered with cake nthe ml stood pay Prgps. and fom his ample appendage hung a sing fall of dierent fru, the sal may is potted We lak on greedy hands on this new display and found —imagine!—that twat another joke. At the Slightesttouc, every single eke and piece oft spewed out sfton damp, men staal over our aes, quite digsting, We tought hat ‘ish pefored with this tual sustane war probsbly part a some in owe jamped up and yelled, Hall, Angas, ther of our Bot we noted tat ther people were grabbing ft du Ing ou display of reverence 0 we went ahead ad got as much a we ould ie up in our handkechieand I war purely ficient st loading Cito’ pockets thought that nothing wat lo tmach or too sed forthe boy Meanwhile in came three boe with gleaming white tue hiked way up To ofthe boys placed on te tbl a collection of household eds With amulets hanging around thei necks, The tid eared dish ff wine around shouting, “May the go be racist Crees an Tans of coune, who fight Ty. Agamemnon id win the sr but a a nny is ering ape, Elect Ahi, wo ty te now dead Agumeranon hd, howe, eked he wie na sng Iphigenia on he tte that she mast mary Ahls The Get ate Air nent mada hacked op Isc, but bani when he stele deat Ailey sno 109, See note, 130, Apt, the it epee word ag afters death. Howe ve, "Att, her of our oan hte i tha es oe gnng Enger« ees esd hat the thee wee eld Hany, Las, and Monee ‘An mage Timah hnse~ gh» ga ikenem peed oat Te tele itso me moro esha Jal Aral che ol peje heal nd dies of id “Teli ned to Nets st, “Yo ed tbe mor fo owt know vin, tur dont hear smb ot 900 new Ee iyo cre shut al ol el sho ht hing tat pene oy cera tiled the Kind word “May never mae no any no meri Tm not stp th happiness oe you {tut se wel So TM tel you se funy sy ren Fined them clas Ih’ tne. Well ogo sex an hey on Ahn at thy want, Tey on lah tomo ar me one bee md a ae yp re Sith Thus ode, ad hein he flowing le “hen Iaatllewe ed th earo le s Gl tense now ima fen teil oh god rte when there Tt tve wih the wi of Teer of had he nn. You ell Inc Metin forenoon ie ‘butecls ymin dover beset ny ot no pea tng tal bt Beco she nm sch Scent ‘ono, ing athe fo te gve me vee alo ie trea yey at meant] Kad has poy 1 dmped een tide in het pans neve de re one “it woul you inom, hr pron hte i the county de Sota ed tongs eve which ny mid gtand Be nthe When yoveine teh yow Sel ot wh yor ends EC et ge dwn 2 Tut 0 hgpeed tha he ser wo outa este at Cop hep on oe mb ng rater I gbed he cance an praed pot fou go wh tear the ith raesone: He ara ong ar ell We get Sur bute mving then tcc re staringt cob the moon at Shang bis noon, We come to aon nd hi pal ine Senta othe ostnsto take epee apa oc ech Siena couthew ay ses rae. Bute red back Ihe aro lis cts nd pt sn 2 lbs he ad ‘Thuis inched the win outa tod hr ie ws deal He ped rund hs lor anal of cn be ted in wa Pn Teviling I woo ie ral te noey nthe wo Bie as Shing once he ars wf stir wlan othe wos nt narsovared aren bo whereas. The et up te gris the bul hy aed to stone Iwo ft shut ad 6 ‘Tema De Pry ” {6 over dead But dew my sme and jrped on err ltl shadow, ‘I fally gto ny gil lace By ht time Ilse ike host sell nas praca tain it eth vets’ don through my rte, Mak ye The people there he ome had ork being me around "Buty Melis was amazed that wat oto ate, She sid youd come itl air you cold of led out. The wath wolf thatgtino the tack lke ies butcher been here Well he ft say, ut at lent he dnt have nothin ln about Our sine Suc neck through ih sper "When Theat ht, Ts goa deep that igh tha’ for damn sure. Bat when the sn warplane ay neces rans fer the gy thas gone without paying teil When pt bck ee plac where the clothes tamed into tors, 1 de nothing but Hood. "Then wen {or ome the ler ws yng in bed hello ie Asc anda doctor wa lnking this ec. he then tt he ws 2 wereolland I woulda of at down at the table with him if oud hiled me You can have ny opinion you want sbout what esas Tring your guar ptm get me fo 163 We were all suck with wonder and admiration. ‘Timalehio suid,“ ont mean oy nth” gst out ty bt ele me sorbic war standin saight up, ‘cue I Lnow Nieto dnt tlk no ‘ers: No you can count on hin, he don aber for tm sake Bt Sao a aig ng ery geting pon “When was. longhair lit boy ease ed pampered ie sheers inh Hes ses pal of i 0 itl uber, nating wrong wth Well, Tis poor ite other was esting er rest, ids bunch a ur were sotrning foo, when al a sidden the wiles began to ow sooned ike sd running dwn are: We had th gy fom Cape floc in the hoonehold—al not sad of sting and tong lie you wouldn't else! He oul of gone against bul tht wa na ‘ed ood Doc heat, der ison ad an ut he dor Bat fins carci to wrapup hi eft hand. He acs one of the women clear through ight he the lei the gods protect wat Fn, touching now: We heard gran, and nal te women dsxppeared. ‘Wierd, hu? Butt wa hg, or coud tlThen hat ig ag of came back mand trew hil down cn the bed le ws bed all BL, See nt 152. Prodcing repel bol and aye,* ot 3 a... etched eae mang ib ees eee nai ee eet erica ee eer ae eee Fr a a a ean sog nb ah Rot yates ee ieee eae ere (fi FOS id ascend na Su Spl ane le furs and ht moth snd wile! oot ae a eae a [etnies leer ee ee eee engea ere Ea i eee arora ikea thn at tet il ob ee a ee ore ee See eee eee ee renee aera ee Tomek tt rast Ny inthis house lover me more” 153. The name of ug strated with he court of Calg i the keer 154, Crocs he nano fabs eh Lyin tat, i» ely toc deigtinn inte ei ut 3 ot way spp or 2p ‘ena a Trina houschol 135 "Papy Dog” ihr Dine Paty * The boy was upset at sch ash praise dived tovad the brute He placed She puppy on he flor and urged itt ht. Aas dg wild, Sey Te filled the dining room with exespiting barking and lunged forward, rly damembering Crocs ile Pee, The tumult spread beyond "he dogfight when amp onthe table was Spped ove, breaking the ental dishes and spatering some of the guess with hot Tmalchio, however, ws hilly concerned wth appearing indies ‘nt othe desiructon of his tresses He ked the boy and offered hima piggsback side. The ite slave didnot hesitate wo mount is mas ter an slap him again and agin on the shoulder blades, laughing and thtieking the whole tine, "Come on, hor, how many Rogers am 1 holding sp?” Thir quieted Trimalehi down fora whi, bu hen he or deved pic mixed in a int bowel and divided among all ft slaves ‘ehosat ator fet. He pelted one thing though "If there’ anybody ‘eho won take it pou i over his head. The day's for work Lets have ome fn now ‘Afr this raion gesture came a plat of snacks. Even the memory of ‘hem annoys me, Fatlened chickens were ped sound instead of the traditional thrshes. "There were alo gushed goose eg. Timalchio ctderedusto et up adding the joke thatthe epg were “boneless hens” aang this cou a Ueto came banging onthe double doors Ia cameareveler, ho was dred in white and had an immense number fof aiendants vas eed at his display of autor and Uhought must be facing the local pret I started oie and set my bare et fn the for, but Agemernnon laughed ay trepidation, "Calm down You must be the dumbest man on eath, Thats Habinns, sein ‘Aso asone maton. Makes oie ln, ve heard” Relieved pat my eow back onthe couch, and, greatly impressed, curved Haba entance. He was aendy drunk, tnd dragged hsm sel along by hi wifes shoulders, A number of garlands weighed him down, and unguent dipped fom his fread ito his eyes, He lowered hse into the place customary reseed forthe rato and called forwine and hot water “Timalchio was charmed by this wity performance alle fora big ge cup himself, and asked how the previo paty had tumed out "We had everything but you his fiend answered. "My heat was haere By Hercules, though twas nce. Seis was having @ memorial 136, The pros cle in aw enforcement estes Encl the fg’ fern See 58, 138, The" Tone” place onthe oucht so Pots service fr that por sve of her the one she st re alfter he was dead, But now [gues she's hang a big Hight with the collector ofthe ve percent tac They ved him at iy thossand, asta ore leas fell, hough, even fe had to pour hal ur drinks ove is bones” {66 “Bot whatd you have at dinne?™ Taleo ake "Let me se if cn ell you. Great memory Tve got nowadays—for- ext my own nate sometimes The it course wars ros pig wa 2 sage gumish, lux Hleod padding and chicken gizzards cooked jst fh and-—1 Krav: bess and whole-wheat bread, which i is bet ter then white is mitons, and 1 n't mean and roan when [do my Ips The next couine war old cheesecake, ad warms honey with thisgeat Spans wine. had a big go ofthe cae, and homey pt ny ‘eck: On the side we gotchickpen and pines, as many hazelnuts the wanted sod an apple piece Tsncaked tw, though. Got em bere {nny handkerchief, eau don ring present otha ite tke of min, II have trouble. Oh, my dearest ete teings mee had 2 Munk of hea mest onthe mena Sill was stupid enough ty Sonne, and hess heaved her gut up. But st more hans pound Tate ike boa, If bear eat up us poor people, then Idan now wy people shouldn't eat bear. To fish of, we had sft cheese in wine fave, and one sal each, and a piece of tipe, ad chopped liver init te portions, and gre eg and tripe and mustard and ih in that sauce that loks like poopthe reve’ called “Thats Plenty, Pledes* Als we got served pickled ies ina big rough. Some cof those bastards tok tre handful. We en he harm back $67 But tell, Timah: why doen't Fotunata come lie down? “Oyu know what dhe ike, She's gots Enow where all the ser is divide up the scrape among the slaves She wor'teven havea dop of ‘wae til ats done “Ifshe docs ake he plac o the couch right now then may ass toto hese” He stared to getup and war sapped only by al the saves falling four or five tes, on Tmalehio's cue, “Fortuna!” She 2 fired with er clothes hiked up bys bright yellow bel so that under neath you could see her chery-coloed tune, her ankles ina twisted "hap, an her gilded slipper She was wiping her hands on towel 199, See nate 1 140. See note 14 The name ofthe resipe cas « mytholgilrefrenc, lous ‘act pit cue Palade man nga leader othe Grek car sean Toy Tiel Dine Paty 51 that hung around her neck, She artanged herself on the couch on which Habinnay wife Sela was yng "Ist really you, honey” Fo tunata asked, bestowing bs, wile Scinila lapped her hands in ee Te quickly got excessive. Potunata pulled the bracelets of het hideously ft uppe ams to give her amirng rend bate look, She finally unsnopped er ankles and tock fen her airs ne tha she boasted was made of refined gold. Tmalchin notice, and ordered ll sf this brought him. "You see the shackles ou wornen met” he a ounce, "This what we Iunkheade get sipped bare for Thi sll ‘mst weigh sic anda half pounds. But ve got an amband that weighs ten pou, ysl. tr made out of Mercury thousandth share af my profits" He didnt want ust think that he wa ing, he had st ‘of scals fetched and ake around to each fuss tha we could check the weg for ounces Scintila didnot sie above these proceedings. She took from her neck Titi gold locket—she eve had name for "Lucky" For this, she etacted dangly earings and presented the for Fotonata's cetaminaton. "My man isto good to "she si, "No wor got ‘eter pir than this "What are you talking about?” Habinnat interrupted. “You cleaned ime out fora couple of las bods UT had » daughter (ut et her as off Everything would be dit cheap ift werent for you women You ie ap eens gon cfr our dint bt nn ht ps comin entof you" But the women were already the wot forthe wine and occupied with private lager and sloppy Kiss. The one was Bragg com Plaining about how much work took torn a howehold the other was Toutly sharing her opinion about her husbands neglect of her nd his pefetence fr his pt slave, While they wee clinging together, Habin ‘as sneaked of his couch and oer hen Seizing Foruna et, he tesed her upside down. She sriked, and we could see he dress 20 op iver her knees. After puting herself back together, she huddled ith ‘Scintila and id her lasing bose ina napin $08 After while, Trmalchio ordered the second cure. The slaves toakaway all ofthe tables and brought new ones, and steed vest tinged with saffon and vermion-alio powered mia, which Thad never seen used this way. Trimalchio wr not slaw in commenting "ou thik i be happy with an ndnary second course? OF cour not 12. Trmaehio hs append freee an fering wed to gol Been lay inthe arent wel.2 Pan ‘Get it Of oune not Okay, ifyu'e gn anything sd, by et ws faye” "The Alzadan dave by in charge fhe otter ated a ii tadon of riggs bot illo sae, "Not thal The sve wa a bias fet~voddery erodes rom is master, Tpesnedstuck wpa chant ~teansie, erent Bet oo thei. Teas the shes surest sound tat had ever ruck my eas the voice ete ap and down in barat verson of ete and thee Ms nes fom Alan ace ive nt Ror the ft tie my i Yer was pal tome. Fal the boy sew ed ad topped, and Tino emathed, Ye docs tat saturally-never went school: BatTedcatd him by avin him low te hae around. Nabdys pod ar hi at inating them ler, plow me des too I Cecily talented bd estar scone, psy chef the sae tine Stenetne the Mises st smile on ave you know? Hed be pret het he tes hes cased mors Oh hes suing, but dot aes dos the goes Ven. He's alae (Siro, and he neves Hess 1 pa ut hee honed ‘rt fr bi” 0 Sia intruptd “You don't know ail of tht shits tes Pin uingto have him raned one of hee day, the ite pip” *Tinow what your haben’ ike Thimacbolnuphed. “He's x Cap- pecan dan se todo ight by insel Bt ike Bao sare nn gear youre deo, Bul doe sou, Sein, Belee me, se et you ge pt Sop ease bang my oma me Tren The mater actualy upped a he ent mel torn oe of his fra Butter gps south gin ge some bend and make "Fn was ely aboninaby phe thought wt ed ead wert ice He ok cy lip ot of his pocket and spent mre Mian haf en hour itt he wood fa tampet om Habis mel long, resin do is wer iT ve een ppd to the center and numed te payer by banishing couple fees 144 The punin Latin utenti Sesindar mea eas oth "dese™ tnd secon bles” 145, Were Aeneid Bok 5 ie 6. See 38, 147, Compare hey padoceanin 33 emai Dinner Paty 8 around, Then he wrapped himself up in a cloak ook a whip, and enacted the adventure ofa mule driver Habinnas called him over, ed him, gave him a drink, and sid, You gt beter al the te ‘Massa Il give you api of bots for thi “There woul have hen no sli rm all ofthis if another dessert hada been Brght pty doves fed with raisins sod ate Quins followed: they were suck fll of spine, to look ike sen urchins. We could have pot up wth this, but here was a dis that wa simply or tif, nd we would have did of unger athe than foe it When i ‘ease! before us it ooked like a fattened gov, with sh nal nds ‘of lle ire sound it But Timalhio si, “My fends, everything osc hee ie made out fet one thing "thought as prety smart sight aay Thad gues 2 to what the stuf was. Tuning to Agamemnon, sd, wouldnt be surprised ithe ‘whole thing were made out of wat olay. ve een ata meals ke ‘his ring the Sarma at Rome, and—" $70 Timalehio cut me ofl swear—and ifm Wing, then lt my ‘ely get ger, isa of ny invest, hal-my ook made ll that outa pork He the most able slave Thave. Ifyou want, hell ‘make a fish tom 2 sow's bel pigeon fom lds dove fm bar, 3 hick fom pes cles, out name 1d hi amazing nap ‘on ad called him Daedls He's never pti fot wrong nets, s0 1 ordered him stel knives fom Rome. They were made at Novicur° Fe had these brought so thathe could inspect and adie them. He ako gave us permision to tet the pons again mr checks for sharpoen, “To saves came in, looking 2 hey had just had aight ata wel “They had the regs as balanced on their shoulders at any ate Ti nalchio pase his adgrnent, but neither of them ike his dein, nd there was smut ashing ofr with walking tes, We were hor ‘ied at thi drunken mitbehavo, but a we gaped thes bawling we Sav eter aa lasing ou ofthe aA live gathered them oto ‘trey and handed them around. But the gens of ek ofeed some Competition for this elegant show. He served ais ona iver gil and sangin a hideous trembling oie the whole Hime, almost hesitate to say what happened nex was 0 tse and tnheard of Longhated boys brought unguent in ser dish and Ma, See nite 148. Thi mt bacter const, ong he things, wing tht Towed a human being 150, town appre mous fer tel manavhs fl pee ree i eas seared ou fect sm ay tee, That war ater they wrapped gaan Sound ur leg and arcs, Some of Uae unguent as umped inthe wine bot ad the amp. mF owed rf wantigin sn Stat applauding mote aten tar she apakeTeimalehio spoke sp Phe {Myr you can came fan ws eyo dann Green an vey Tray Knows i Tel your pes Menopia tat she can take 3 Bop Bere too" “Tobe bie, we were alma thou off our coches yall the saves wo came crowing in the dmg ror ike some so of vitoios Siu. Rigi beside e-—swad the more pesos endo the couch, in'etoas te cook who had nade goose ot of pork. He stank of Tine and spy aves He waa app oto down: ight aay he Stared mitt he tap cor Eats and fered to bet is has {eta tne Caens woud win it place atthe nex ce, $71 Talc croyed this sparing “Pend hei tring o us ayes se peopl bo. They Sank toters milk the se may ne I i tat an eft ge. down Bute ga anything {odo with nie gonna feel ow dent cup of mater tate if Joute lee, What mean bn stn’ ‘em alee my wl Fin alo {pra lave Phas» and is per, and Cato’ gen an Sra lock and his five pecent tox ad a bed with pls and HMentes You ses mak Fotaata my heiroshel take cae ofall toy ens Tying sno oh eves loves mea mich i Tdead” They all started to thank the mast fr his kindness. Wentng odo ring by hae, he odeed copy of his il bg ad ead it bad fom begining Io end whe he entre household groaned in Shor “Tali tuned a Habinna “Yue my best bud, you know? So ate you bing ny tomb the way T ordre? A the base of ry Sate you've ta pst a puppy and xlnds and bles of perme alte ago eaten Tel fel ie lave, and ove ialltoyou Mate th buildings handed eet scros the nt ed we 151, The vos em of Ran cat ces, and tras, wee ley cal 152, Noor cot fh cs, See Commentary 1D Roan Pilvphy is he Sayin, fx Sens "ought on save. 154 See note 1. 155. See 5 ‘imac Dine Pry 5 hundred et back Lot of fit ees all ver and plenty of grapevines, lay? Es pile of erp to have gorgows houses when wee alive and ‘ot wory about wherewe'e gonna sty at longer. Sofi ofall pt up 8 sign "Thi property shall ot pas othe het™Avd Ym gonna make Sure in my wl hat nobody does me diy afer Tm dead. One omy feedmess gonna be on guard dy othe whole lawl be running fo crap on my tomb. Do ship sling withthe sal of wind, and do ‘ne stig up un a dis ina senators robe, Give me fv gold sng and have me pouring money out af bag Yo ge away. You know the angut I ave, witha handout of two denari ead, Do some dining ‘oom, wth the whale town hang a get tne. Put Fortnata on ‘ny ght an have he hlding a dove. And giv er litle dog ti 0 [her blk Don fog that kid who my ft. Ard ig js, sd el “emit gypsum the wine wont ran ox One oftem sould be bro en with oy standing above itand bling” Inthe made put sundial otha anybody who wants to know the time aso lok st my ‘ane. And see what you thik of his inserpin: Here ies Cal Pt peiusTrimalchio, Freedman of Maecenas! He was elected sevit, though he wa not even hereto arpa. He could have bee in alo the guilds t Rome, buthe said no. He had olfashioned als, be was brave fat and he started sal and made it big He left fortune of thiny milion ssteres. He never his life pid any attention to 8 pilosopher. Farewell t him. And to you, seanger’ $72 A Tuinalehio finshed, he Burt out richly in tears, Fortuna ‘orig too, and Habinnsthen the whole housed ikea pork (of funeral guess, filled the dining room with lamentation, Actually ven La eying t this pin ‘Oy sid Tinalelio, “since we know tht we've gots di, why don't we do some living Fut wanna make you al happy le amp in fora bath. Count on you won! te soy Its as hott furnace Sure" sand Habit“ dont ike notin’ move tan mia’ two days outta one” He gat up barlot and followed the gefly exiting ‘Teanalcie Tooke at Axylos. “What do you think?” asked, “As fr me, i take one look a bath, I de onthe pot" 156. See note 59 157. Apia faery af the lity oli 158. Maeceny, an aoc fhe fit enperoy,Aagi, ms ton fo ieee lama seems apeorit t Tenlti mterao ad hename 159. A ot ath era rish mel wt considered danger,6 3 “Lets prctend to goalng witht he sid. "While he restare headed ther, we can get ut undercover ofthe coud ‘coring, we teu and Cio led vs slong the portico to the oor, Butte dg cined up here reted us with so much noise that Acyl into eh poo. And who was jut a drank, and who ad teen aiid of pint dag-as I went to the sd of he poo veroaed silo, was dragged soto the sare abyss The stenard saved us, iter ‘ering out the dag and pall us nto dry land. But Giton had a omedhimel rom the dog rom the start eerything we hed gen him nn dinner, he seated before the baying beat, whose age Ws fase bythe dtvaction Then, wet nd shivering, we asked the steward toletu out the door, bat he reed, “Youre mistaken if you think you can go out the way you came in [No gust ever diamine through the same door. One isan entance, sath an ext” 73 We wee the mort wretched of morals What were we going to do now, shot up a we mere in anew version of the abit Acts lllysve were waning to bathe now. We came ight ut and asked to be fale tothe ball Once there we threw of or loth, which Giton tndertook to dy for ur in the entanceway, and we approached the pola narrow one ike cold water ak imal ws sanding inthe water, and even under these circum stances it was imponible fo get say fom his dating basing. He ‘Inimed that nothing wa eter than to bate without x eowd aod, tu that there had een a bakery on this very spa. In 2 while hes down, Hed Under the Tue of the rooms aco, he Teaned back, ‘opened his drunken moth ote vaulted eeling, and proceeded to die rember se songs of Menectstes|—or that what hey were accord ingt hoe who ould undertand Teal’ uterance, ‘Other guess am arund the rm ofthe pool, hand in and, and through the rom came an enormous echo thei galing Some were tring the stot of ifn sing from the Noor while ther hands were li Behind thei back, fom 2 knzeling positon, bending back © touch the Hips of ther ter, We shunned there games and went down int the poo, which had been heated to Temalehio's speciation ‘When out drunkenness evaporated we wer led ita anather dining 16 Te og “bin wa tibet hi King Minos He ad ame bul unt ha pace he morse Mian, de ‘oud pone wandering et ee 1GI Aap ot New outa pote indo fhe ate fhe Sao Ps shies Dine Bey ” room, where Rertunata ha lid ou collestion of amenities... We teak ote of lamps with bronze fermen decorating them, solid sien lables set with gided earthenware cups—and wine being tained Uhrough cloth ight out in the open. "Tmalhio sai, "Friend today lave of ine hadi fit shave— Arn good uy, doesn't waste 3 crumb. So lets throw afew back nd keep the pat going til dan: 574 While he was sill speaking, a cock cowed, Trimalchio was upset and ordered libations poured under the able and unmiaed wine spanked ona lamp. He even move ting to his let hand. "There's Some reason forth” he sid. Is ike the trompet before a battle. There's gonna be a fire or somebody in the neighothod is gonna éronk. The gods pare us! Agha who brings ne that bad-omened it Hebd get a tp Before he could finish, the cock was bought, and Timalchio o ered stewed in wine. Dacdals, that same exert cook wh had made fish and binds out of pork litle while ago, Hacked wp the cock and tose the pices int pot Wile he drained of the boing bth, ox tunata ground pepper in litle Boxwood mil, ‘When we hed consumed this tasty dh, Teimalchio took look tthe ‘contingent of sles around ue. "Hh? You sl have’ ean? Get ot, aid let the thes do ther shift” Another squadron secordingly ame at 4 replacement, shouting, “Greting, Cnt” whereas from those on the nay oul itwas "Farewell, Caius ‘At this point came the is real dsupion of our god times. Among he new batch of waters ass boy priculcly en on the eyes, Tima cio descended on him and ised him rather perstenty, Fortuna, 2 forhight nd principled asertion of height, bps to ake Tina: ‘hio apa, calling him piece offi and» dngrace, with no contol ‘ver his bio. At lat she wed the word "dog Timah, ended launched 2 denking cup into Fotunata’s face. She screamed a if she fad lost an eye, and moved her shaking hands wo her cheek, Seni ‘as upsctand shld her tembling fend in herboxom. An oii slave also applied to her cheek a chilled jg She leaned against weeping and moning “Terrific” sad Trnalehi, “The sats forgotten everything. [took he ff he suction block nd mace a human beng out of her. Bt nom she's al puted up like a fog thinks her Tees ends, Shes got no Imote sense than block of wood, Maybe somebody born in' hut 162 See Carmen 7: Roman Religion 109. See te 58Pat should deam abou manson. So help me, 'm gonna pat he in ier place ses atin’ but s bh in amy Boos Back when 1 was et i ol ef ariel doen io You own Totling And Apt the pesfune defer tok me aside ust the other {oyand Con, dnt let your lly end wth you But ming {She's poy, don't anne ser ie fk ar a ate in tor Teg ou manna sch mein he face Ti ge ou a veaon. Sr oxnn mate you mato find ot how mich damage you've done Joutele Hanns, dst put he statue my tomb at eat ant JGme peace afer Tn dead And wat send, can gv 5 god 61 i shes notallowed tos my core” $98 Ths thunderbolt roused Habioas to plead fran endo Ti tal ange Theron wh nee ne aig ong ‘Were people, not gods” Sela wept and appealed to Thal NSS RSet led the man by hs ft ae, Gal and ‘teed im lent Tralee hielo Tonge el Bock sea °lSnan cimon; bean honest ode, and he gd let ou enoy your ing. FT i anything won, you ean spin my face. Tht boy Pin Sete sine Fe ot and {dK im becuse he ret tut bee hes co deserts He can sy is imesten table he eas Sight of ut by laking atthe words, bought msl lator sit ‘utof ha allevance, pus an archaea So wine dpe. Think a Sethi, yea, bu es carsed But Frama sno way. So gt tho dade forme by yon bith wh spent her ie with et ein thes? You da bua you beter ink about what pe Yu. addon nae me hom teeth svete, You dnt wana be the stay when Teal angry ou know what Fm ike ence decide some Thin ts naled ts theeineh "ote nat eth spol our good ine. Lk short Coon you poe ple-eney youre. ts ie you once, but I goto where La be {Dts fy chutes Gul what makers man what hes Eventing Ges. Bay ow sel high vba ay, bt maybe das just me Bot Tim dingo wel Sal gonna eplode ov crehing He, ate Sous nveling and cing) ge yu something oy about puta Tnasyng ny hater gp me whet | ay When Seto a eae ap ad Ua se Inslfy esr day, And so ato get beard on ry bea ee quicker Taleb Ue lamp aloud vy tout Sil nas Ue mars vont ar oucen yar Is no wong fhe maser makes ou do Teh Seen 8 males Dine Poy so “Anyway, L managed odo okay by the mises swell You know what taking shout Bot I wont talk about ‘aus don ike obra $76 “At any ate, the gods must of ben aay wth, ease gt in charge ofthe whole place, andthe master as crazy about me. To make 2 Tong story shor, he made me his (along with the emperor, of ours, and {gota Senators ote! Bat nobis ver got encigh tf nothing had hitch ogo into busines. I dat wat fo bore you with the ry, but Tui five ships and gota ergo of wine—like said olathe te and Isenthem of to Rome. You would of oat tpve ode forthe ships wo get wrecked, ‘cue everyone got wrecked, IRs thetath em tlingyo did't make this up Neptune ate up ity mon sesterces in one day. You thik gave up? Ibe darned if did Tid’ givea shit twas ike aioe thing. allt more ships, that was bigger and beter and luckier. You know, bg ships not aid of othinI loaded up more win, pls lard, and beans, and intent, and slaves, Nobody was gonna a that dda have any ball. And For tonata dda rea loyal hing she sal her jewelry anal her clothes and put 3 hundked god coins in my hand. Tht atthe yeast tht Stared my fortune ising “Wel hatte gods want to happen happen ft. On that one ip 1 piled up ten milion etree, Then I got out of hock all the propery thard belonged to ay master. I bul s house, bought myself some ss ome tak Being | cel ew ie bono A Soon as T owned tare than the whole tw pt together, I got ou, Stopped trading, and started loaning money with eedmen a agent \When I was thinking about geting ot, this astrologer comes to town, Greek gy called Sepa who war 0 god he could of given the gs advice, and he told me what fod, Sh, he tld me sta hat Fogo Insel From the ground up, he sid eventing that ws go’ on with ine even in my gus—everything but what I te the dy before, You'd think hed ved wih me my whe ie, 577 "You were these, Habinas, sight Did’ he sy, ‘We all know how you got your lady. Youve been anil your frends, Nobody aratell enough tonad you. You have lage estates Youre sheltering ‘ier under your wing? T probably shoo’ el you this but Ive stl ‘ot tht year, four month, and todays to lve, And Tm going to get {m inheritance veal soon. Tha whats instore forme, according to the soother Buti | get my property to goa ft Apulia then I 16S. See ote 2 ono inbertance with he empeon, The prope if ‘ton Beceng + oman serovar on ese, 16, Instn lyo Pan tae done enough th hi ie of in. But while Mercury ws ath inpover ny bse Tb his howe as sch, ad ow i ttle tt freon fi exting went bees, wo male po corsa uchof omy up th om where sleep, xing oom {orth viet het atcl god doveeer ls, and get hone fo 2 hundred os fo ow yous when Sur eame hee, his a De ‘ace he wanted to stay, ad hs ly aay stayed a ei place by Those, Ther at ter tl to, tat show you jst ow Be icine fs peny al you've gt sal oe wor Yu ave some thine yale repect Yours tly hve wav aog but now hea ing Sct, bing out he gave lates Tanna west any fea. And Beige gb ofthat ngucnsnd some wine om ther Tor dre tae flan oma S78 Schus nthe but boughtintthedningsnom awit winding set ond fogs wih senator ge on = “mahi rcred to fer them to hes the quality ofthe wok Smiling esd Sheu seat he mice st the mos ont get aiihen,orTllbumyou alive. wanna look soaay my Snel oat these own heaps lens on me hen he pened roster, sere aitleon each fs and ssid, "Topett when nde eno thot a mach at when Fn ive? He had win duped nto +B and i, “Olay, pte Bat Jone ny gest the vemenrance ay or the ded “Thing were veachingssclcrng imax: Tinaleio wos weighed owt ths oahome deeokennes He simmoned ance kin fe tcrainment,mpetrs into the dining room and techedhimsll tut on numerous pllows oer hs couch. "Pretend Fm dea.” he id oy somebing ety The mumpter ge te won fren Us all together The loudest ws the sve of the undertaker, io wat the most fpetable qa tee that noe woke tbe nighborbood “Thesetncsbeping watch nth area must have hog hat Tia ‘his howe wa on fate broke down the dao and creed pn montim wth ne ed wate in hr nl way. Tis asa ple pp fr stage Agamemnon the ip, and we ed ot it ‘tne hesitant ad ben 167, Compare the wl ping in $28 16, See, Part 4 Eumolpus 599 We ot he toch ator ec pen pou ane Sy ast othe an ope eh he tlic omcet Ai neve and at om he tes se nuishne ad rol he pg When we a eo {eke hein tay tesco ed bse fen pony we aly aga cu ble teagh osc errs Win eat neh te by hl te ed ‘hg th din tat we wel gt and ad mal ey Sesh nh cha Those re rege che wih ha ghteng glance nove sso wie oe But ne de esp es svete wep ura Te Ten od bending bss he a ree fi wold he ks mdf aint eine wold oe i open hight te tel hadnt nals cos tant come along wah ir whole entourage He cased abe! upo taketh ror dovn sand ltesin. ae Aha sight twas. Ah, gad gies How za te bed! We lng warn a ‘And poured our soins bck a fh, renel ete My dest bop hight {had no reason to congratulate myself Disolved in undted wine, let slip my tipsy hands allowing Acts, the genius behind evely im, tostalthe boy aay from me inthe igh and transfer him fo ie conn bed, Helle about there excessively ely with litle pel who a