5 Second MBA

Gruzzles
Graphs Puzzles

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 Gruzzles
A Gruzzle is a visual communication device, sometimes
humorous, sometimes insightful and sometimes puzzling.
The trick is to figure out the connection between disparate
elements. There must be a common theme, or idea, or
pun...there must be, or maybe not. The term combines a
graph (these are commonly referred to as venn diagrams or
graphs) and a puzzle, graph+puzzle.

Contact GL Hoffman at glhoffman@mm.com

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 Gruzzles

Makes you Sends a A = I get it

think B message B = Too serious
D C = Memorable
A C
D = Don’t try to
read too many
Humorous in one sitting
Hat Tip: Ron Leaf, reader

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Hidden Success Factors

Confidence Appearance
X X = They don’t
teach this.
Ability
to BS
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Either Or

What you Who you

know X know X = It’s not this?

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Simple

Un-
Comfortable X Comfortable X = Leadership is
knowing which
one to make
your people.
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Management Techniques
Be a Be a
helper boss
X X = Less fancy names
for management
techniques
Be a
dad
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Workload
Do your Don’t do
work your work
X X = Take the road
less traveled...
Do your
work and
more
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Margin Improvement
Lower Increase
costs prices
X X = Daily,
not yearly
Measure
everything
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Performance Review

Constant Yearly
X X = How am I
doing so far?

Never

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Overlooked Courses
Learn to Learn to
write speak in
public
X X = Master these 3

Learn
to sell
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Reading List
Peter Clay
Drucker Christiansen
X X = Read anything
they write
Ayn
Rand
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
3 Good Questions To Ask
What What
would would
Steve Jobs Warren Buffet
do? X do? X = But make your
own way
What would
Vince Lombardi
do?
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Planning 101
Takes Takes
longer more money
X X = Start here.

Plans must
change
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Shiny Pennies
New New
people products
X X = Dance with who
you brought to
the party, first
New
markets
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Triggers To Self Motivation
Understand
what Self-talk
motivates
you X X = High level
performance tricks
Call it up on
demand
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Test Taking @ Work
Test Test and
and roll compare
X X = To remove
bad choices
Test
and verify
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Silent Killers

Nepotism Office
affairs
X X = Performance
always suffers

Addictions

© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: The Hiring Process:
Why You?

Attitude ‘You’
X = Why we
X hired you.

Skills

© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: The Hiring Process:
You Hired Us, Too

Products/ ‘Us’
Services X = Why you
X hired us.

Growth and
Potential
© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: The Hiring Process:
Customers

Products/ ‘Us’
Services X = Why
X customers
hire us.
Problem
Solvers
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Walk Away

Whining Complaining
X X = Easy To Do

Gossiping

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Slow Down, When Things Go Bad
About About
company yourself
X X = Write 10
good things
about each
About your
manager
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Heard These
It’s not It’s not
my job my fault
X X = It’s not how
we do It here.
It’s not
any of your
business
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Feedback
Who Oh
says? yeah?
X X = A tad bit
defensive,
aren’t we?
Up
yours.
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Career Path Discussion
Am I When
on it? do I get
promoted?
X X = If you ask too
much, you’re
not on it.
What
is it?
© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: Give a Ship.
How Problems Get Solved

Sponsorship Leadership
X X = Ownership

Entrepreneurship

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
It’s Not About Telling

Yes, but X Do it X = Boss, but

my way
not a leader

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
What To Wear To Work Today?

Business Casual

Flip flops with black socks © GL Hoffman, 2010

 5 Second MBA:
Business Oxymoron

Corporate Family

We’re out of pens at home. © GL Hoffman, 2010

 5 Second MBA:
Full Time
A = Gen X
8:07 C Whenever
B = Gen Y
D C = Had to get
A B my Starbucks
D = Truth: When
Start Time Boss arrives
for Work
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Things You Hate to Hear
A = Sorry, I was
thinking about
w/ w/ something else
Subordinates B Bosses
B = I ‘fibbed’ on
D my resume.
A C
C = Let me restate what
I think you said.
Disarming
Comments D = How’s that been
working for you?
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Maybe There Should Be a Class

Attitude Motivation
X X = If missing, three
root causes of
unemployment
Ambition

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
New Products
A = Now?
CEO B R&D B = My wife likes
D it in red.
A C C = You can’t invent
on schedule
Timetable for D = 4 x Budget;
New Products 4 x Time
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
At 6:30AM, Every Minute Counts
A = Time Wasters
Cuff B Tie
Links Tacs B = Graduation
D present, 1968
A C C = Business Leaders
w/Logo
Lace Up D = Real Reasons for
Shoes Business Casual
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Listening To Your Employees

Bitch Moan

Groan
Time for a
PMA speech © GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Staff Meeting

Boredom
Level
A B A = Cake Donuts
B = Jelly Rolls

Effectiveness © GL Hoffman, 2010

 5 Second MBA:
If You Have to Ask...
Should I Start
My Own Company?
Yes No
If you have to ask,
I’m leaning ‘NO’
Yes No
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
At the Card Table in Family Room

B A = Mashed Potatoes!
Little Kids HR
B = ‘If you were a tree...’
D
A C C = We have that
Friday off
Thanksgiving D = At the kids’ table
Dinner
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
Never Say Out Loud
I’m for If we get
profit only 10% of
the market...
X X = Silence is
Golden
My wife
thinks...
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
New Product Launch
Ready Aim
X Fire
Ready X Fire
X
Fire

X = 1980’s X = 1990’s X = 2000’s

© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: Who Do Your
Sales People Really Work For

You The
company
X X = Only one: the
CUSTOMER.
Their
family
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
How To Fix a Sales Problem
Product
training, Alignment
not sales issues A = Building lasting
training A B skills adds energy
No B = Easy to jump to
Energy a solution
C D C = Telling is not selling
Not Not
enough asking for D = Always can be more
listening the order
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA: Translation:
Don’t Bother Me With the Details
From From a
40,000 feet... galloping
horse...
X X = How to qualify
your irrelevant
opinion
back of the
envelope...
© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
The Art of Negativity
the
Short opposing
sellers political
X party X = How you view
the world

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA:
The Art of Positive Thinking
It’s a It’s
skill stupidity
X X = Positive
thinking

© GL Hoffman, 2010
 5 Second MBA: “T” Lessons
A = Even good brands
can go south.
Tiger A Toyota B = @TheTiger: Pls. B
D careful. She tweets 2.
B C C = @ToyotaMan:
Remain stoic -
Maybe they won’t
Twitter tell anyone else.
D = Bad news travels fast
© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: Cliche Job Seeker
Advice by Clueless Harvey
When Send
the going $100 to the
gets tough, interviewer’s
the tough get favorite X = Coming soon
going X charity to a book store
near you!
Visit The Ladders
for more
career advice
© GL Hoffman, 2010
5 Second MBA: “It’s you; it’s not me.”
Symptoms of Bad Sales Management
We need We need
to lower more product
our price features
X X = Actually, a better
website would be
awesome too.
We need to
increase sales
commissions
© GL Hoffman, 2010