Lyndsie Valdez

Period 3
2/1/16
Evanescent Connection
Hello you hear me?
Right now, through the chord, our hearts sync as one. ​Dun- dun, dun- dun, dun- dun
Chord. You provided the umbilical cord, and he helped play the guitar chord.
Played along three notes, C E and G in perfect harmony.
It represented you, dad and “kuya” (an older brother).
The definition of my “perfect” family.

At the age of 5, you brought me to elementary school

Did your best and made me look good.
I stood in front of the mirror, as you did my hair.
Tamed the thick luscious maine, into two semi-dainty locks, tied with ribbons of hello kitty.
More like... hello kindergarten.

Out of the bathroom, into the classroom

My soft round puppy dog eyes bawled out Niagra Falls, for it was my first day being all alone.
For it was the first day I discovered the word… f….fat.
For it was the first day, someone poked my belly and asked if I was still hungry.
It was the first time, that I felt insecure about my my weight, and I would be lying if I said it was
my last.
As soon as the 2 pm bell rung, I sprinted as fast as my little legs could carry the bouncing blob
of fried chicken and brownies.
I couldn’t out run the teasing and taunts from day one,
I found myself running to you… my “Happy meal” and a side of fries.

At the age of 12 I guess one could say I changed.

I no longer wanted these cinnamon rolls, to roll out of control
Or muffin.. tops… and lumps... on my belly.
Maybe I wanted just a boy to... “love” me.

Let me cut back on fat

Just like that,
Get on track, not feeling like the damn door mat.
I wanted to be “somebody”, and simply fit in.
I was growing up and growing wide in a small world, much smaller than I am. And I wish I could
just stop.
How could you expect an elephant to fit into society’s dog kennel?

I locked myself up within 1, 2, 3, 4 walls.

The self made jail was the place I laid my head, every night.
Isolation was my best friend, and my cell mate.
Although he wasn’t a tangible being, I let him linger with me in the dark corner.
He and I blocked out the lights from the outside.
Created artificial deafening silence and a barricade from my own parents.
I couldn’t make out the words that they shouted from across the bridge. They wanted to help
me, somewhere, somehow, some way…
Because of me, I could no longer hear the chord the same way again. C E and G, became C E
flat and G.
The C major, took a quick turn to the left because nothing went right
and sadly sounded like a shitty c minor.

I came down from dinner

There I saw Aphrodite's descendant before me. Who could she be?

The fine lines, made me realize I’ve been absent minded for a long time.
Dark eye circles, resembled the struggle of waking up at buttcrack of dark and dawn.
The sacrifices you made, just to make sure I was okay.
From the little things, such as breakfast, and the “good night”s. I took them all for granted.
Your smile, was the same smile you held as you tolerated my behavior.
Mom, you are beautiful.

Look, I’m sorry for changing and blocking you out.

I wished to grow up faster, and I was too consumed with my thoughts...
to see you were also getting older.
Our time together is limited, and i would hate to see it go to waste.

Look I'm sorry. I'm sorry for this distant relationship that has been hanging on a piece of thread.
We were like a vacuum, creating an overwhelming sense of emptiness
I'm sorry for biting my tongue, and being so mute.
I'll try again later to fix this blunt and detached connection.

Mommy I love you, as you had loved me.

I promised to be with you, FOREVER… like how it's supposed to be.