z /29/18. Copyright ASCE Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba ot SitenT NEGOTIATIONS: LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES By Judy A, Riggenbach* Apsraact: More than 60% of all communications is non-verbal. The impact of body language during negotiations can be either positive or negative, depend- ing on your awareness of gestures. You can determine the impact of your pre- sentation by observing the non-verbal communication of your opponent. Through the observation of body language you can determine whether your opponent feels superior or concemed, or is holding back, doubting your integrity, ac- cepting your presentation, thinking, negatively but talking, positively, respecting, you, wanting to make all the decisions, domineering, seeking reassurance, or making a decision. The illustrated business gestures will give you insight to the motivation and attitudes of others, and will provide you with skills to make negotiating easier and more successful IntRODUCTION More than 95% of non-verbal gestures are not used during the ne- gotiation process because of lack of awareness. The following informa- tion is not by any means inclusive of all information available concerning body language, and the suggestions pertaining to the adaptation of the gestures are not complete, I emphasize many times in this article that the situation is the key to analyzing any gesture. A little bit of knowl- edge can be harmful in this case, if you take the information out of con- text without first looking at the entire situation and alll of the gestures a person is making. Like any other communication skill, the interpretation of body lan- guage must be practiced to be used effectively. It would be difficult to read this article, walk into a negotiation, and begin analyzing your op- ponent, Practice! Practice! I suggest taking one specific gesture a week and observing just that gesture, The more adept you become at recog- nizing each gesture and responding, the more effective you will become as a negotiator. Keep in mind that negotiations occur everyday with everyone. The information you will be reading not only applies around a conference table, but also with your friends, peers, and families. Use the following information during any type of negotiation. There are several factors to be considered in analyzing any body lan- guage: 1. Body language is learned, and hence varies from country to coun- try, culture to culture. This article describes American body language. 2. Business body language and social body language can vary; the Business aspect of body language during a negotiation will be empha- sized in this article. 'President, Communication Dynamics, P.O. Box 1598, Wheat Ridge, CO 80034. ‘Note.—Discussion open until September 1, 1986. To extend the closing date one month, a written request must be filed with the ASCE Manager of Journals, The manuscript for this paper was submitted for review and possible publication on May 22, 1985, This paper is part of the Journal of Management in Engineering, Vol. 2, No. 2, April, 1986. GASCE, ISSN 0742-597X/86/0002-0091/$01.00. Paper No. 20528. ot J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASCE. For personal use only; all rights reserved. 3. Body language is a sub-conscious reaction and tells more than the spoken word 4. Body language shows the inner feelings and attitudes of a person— actions do speak louder than words! 5, The situation is the key to analyzing any gesture, and one gesture can have several interpretations depending on the circumstances. For example: the gesture of crossing the arms on the chest can mean, de- pending on the situation, “It’s cold in here, and I'm trying to warm up,” or, “I’m feeling fat today so by covering myself with my arms I can hide my body,” or, “I've been sitting for a long time and this just happens to be a comfortable position,” or, “You have said or done something to intimidate me, so I am closing up and protecting myself.” HANDSHAKES Your first contact during a negotiation is generally the handshake. It can tell much about your attitude, as well as your opponent's attitude. You can discern from the handshake many traits: honesty, impatience, decision-making capabilities, nervousness, and much more. Keep in mind that the interpretation of gestures can help you size up your opponent with accuracy and speed. The gestures can also help your opponent size you up. Now for specific types of handshakes: Firm, with Eye to Eye Contact.—This person is self-confident, and ready to do business. This is the best business handshake you can de- liver (Fig. 1). Firm, with Eyes Dropping Toward the Floor.—This person lacks self- confidence, is possibly hiding information, or, perhaps, is shy (more so in a social setting than a business situation) (Fig. 2). FIG. 2.—Firm—Dropping Eyes 92 J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASCE. For personal use only; all rights reserved, FIG. 4.—Turning the Hand Over Fish Shake.—This limp and unassuming shake can demonstrate ap- athy, lack of enthusiasm, and the lack of decision-making capabilities, provided this person doesn’t have a physical ailment in the hand. The Pumper.—fhe person who continues to shake your hand even after you try to let go. This person is saying he wants control. Often times people are afraid of losing your attention if they let go of your hand. Half Shake.—A very condescending shake, with the shaker giving you only half his hand, and saying through non-verbal communication that you deserve only half the respect from him (Fig. 3). Often a gentlemen is confused because of social tradition whether to shake a lady’s hand or not, and will, consequently, give the “half shake.” The hesitation stems from the social idea that a lady must extend her hand first before the gentleman can shake—not so in business. Godzilla Grip.—The Godzilla grip occurs when the ring on your right hand is indented into all of your fingers! This person is exhibiting power, strength and, frequently, a macho attitude. Sometimes one doesn’t know one’s own strength! Turning the Hand Over.—Someone who turns the hand over (Fig. 4) has a desire to control and dominate. During a negotiation this person will want to have it his way and only his way. If you meet this type of person, casually turn the hand back over; he wili subconsciously turn your hand back over to remain in the domineering position. Hand to Elbow.—This gesture (see Fig. 5) can mean one of two things. It can be a very warm and sincere shake, or an “I’m gonna get you!” type of shake. Frequently people will pull you into their territory or “space” when they feel the need to control. This can be accomplished with the hand to elbow shake, the hand to shoulder shake, or the hand over hand shake. You can tell by the facial expression which shake you are receiving; tight muscles indicate intimidation and “I’m gonna get you!”, whereas the relaxed muscles imply warmth and sincerity. Sweaty Palms.—Sweaty palms often indicate nervousness and anxi- ety. This person doesn’t fee! comfortable in the situation. Perhaps he is not prepared for the negotiation or feels defeated before he has begun. Keep in mind that the situation is the deciding factor. If the temperature is very warm, the palms may be sweaty. 93 J, Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASCE. For personal use only; all rights reserved, Sie eat FIG. 5.—Hand to Elbow; Hand Over Hand Not only do you want to observe the type of handshake at the onset of your negotiation, but you also need to be aware of the image you are projecting through your own handshake. Even though body language is a sub-conscious reaction, you can con- centrate and change your gestures to be more positive. In doing so, an attitude can change—not 100%, but a little. For example, it is very dif- ficult to have a positive attitude when you are closed up (legs and arms crossed, fists clenched); conversely, it’s hard to be angry or closed-minded when your arms are open and your palms are facing upward (indicating, positiveness). So, if you feel that your handshake tends to indicate weaknesses, make a concentrated effort to change it. ‘SUPERIORITY The attitude of superiority during a negotiation can be interpreted through several gestures. The negotiator who feels superior might be adverse to listening, or feel so powerful and secure as to ignore impor- tant evidence. The positive side to feeling superior is that your confi- dence level is such that you can be more aggressive. The triangle or pyramid formed with the arms or by the crossing of the legs demonstrates superiority. The higher the triangle appears, the more superior the person is feeling. Arms Behind Head and/or Ankle to Knee Leg Cross.—This posture indicates extreme self-confidence. This person may be difficult to com- municate with in this position, because he thinks he knows everything. He may listen, but he probably won’t change his mood. One of the best a a) °, FIG, 6.—Hands Pyramided on Face—Superlor Evaluation, Expect Questions 94 J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100.z 2 & = Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Uni FIG. 7.—Superior Superiority (Typical Masculine Gesture) ways to handle this person is to put something such as paper, a folder, pen, or briefcase in front of him on the desk or table. By doing so you will bring him forward out of the superiority position. You have invaded his territory by placing an object in his personal space; to protect this space he will come forward to look at, move, or touch whatever you have placed in front of him. The gesture of superiority illustrated in Fig. 7 is typically masculine. You will very seldom see a woman sitting in this position. Hands on Hips.—As illustrated in Fig. 8, the person will stand with his weight on his forward foot—stubborn superiority. This person does not want to budge from the stance or the ideas. The foot, as well as the thoughts are firmly implanted! Hand this person something to open them up. Communication will be easier. A closed body indicates a closed mind. This is a typical feminine posture. FIG. 8.—Stubborn Superiority (Typical Feminine Posture) 95 J. Manage. Eng,, 1986, 2(2): 91-100Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18, Copyright ASCE. For personal use only; all rights reserved, Posiriveness/NEGATIVENESS An accurate suggestion of positiveness or negativeness can be seen in the palms of the hands. When the palms are up, you are seeing positive attitudes and honesty, whereas palms down display the negative. Dur- ing your negotiation, when your opponent says (with palms down), that he agrees with you, forget it! Remember: actions speak louder than words. Another sign of positiveness is the open position: arms and legs re- main uncrossed and open. Leaning forward denotes interest and en- thusiasm, as well as a positive attitude—"I like what you are saying.” The smile and pleasant facial expression is an obvious sign of affirm- ative attitudes. Conversely, the frown and taut facial muscles reveal neg- ative attitudes. ‘CONCERN The concerned negotiator will concentrate primarily on his own thoughts, and ignore the immediate proceedings. When you see the hand go to the forehead or the fingers pinch the bridge of the nose (Fig. 9), you are seeing concern. The person is saying, “This isn’t going as I ex- pected,” or, “What should I do now?” or, “Help!” You can respond by backtracking to make the issues clearer, or by asking questions to de- termine the specific concerns. Doust An expression of doubt during your presentation can weaken your position. An indication of doubt from the other party during your pre- sentation can be a clue as to where your emphasis during summation should be. Doubt is expressed in many ways (Fig. 10), but usually on or near the face. The gestures can exhibit self doubt or doubt of anoth- er’s words or actions. Hand on Mouth.—This person is holding something back, not telling all. Oftentimes, he feels self-doubt. This gesture is quick—hand to the FIG. 9—Concern 96 J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100rights reserved, z jeral da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASC Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade F 7 = a wr — a ay a FIG. 10.—Rubbing Eye—Doubt; Rubbing Nose—Doubt D> we he FIG. 11.—Doubt—Holding Back mouth and off. If the hand stays on the mouth, you are seeing evalu- ation. Hand on Mouth, Thumb Locked Under Chin.—The gesture shown in Fig. 11 indicates strong resistance. ‘This individual does not agree with your ideas and is resisting your presentation, Note that he will not easily be swayed. Now is the time to find out what his ideas are! EVALUATION I would be remiss if I didn’t include the gesture of evaluation in this article dealing with negotiation. Perhaps one of the most important signs that a person is listening and interested is that of evaluation, When someone is thinking about what you are presenting, your chances of agreement increase. ‘When you see the hand move to the lower part of the face, evaluation is taking place. Notice the gestures when questions are asked; if the listener is evaluating, he will have pertinent questions. If he is not eval- uating chances are he has a closed mind. The tilt of the head is another indication of evaluation. In addition, when a man rubs his earlobe, he is saying, “I heard what you said, and I’m thinking about it.” SEEKING REASSURANCE We all want to know that our decisions are good ones. We need sup- port, especially during stressed times. A negotiator will seek reassurance 97 J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100a 3 2 g & 5 é 3s by UFPB brary.org Downloaded from aseé § & 8 ay FIG. 12—Seeking Reassurance prior to decision making and immediately thereafter. When you see the gesture, reinforce the decision; support the decision. The gestures to watch for are: pinching the fleshy part of the hand and rubbing the neck, or playing with a button on a jacket and pulling on the cuff. ConcLusion Communication, at best, is difficult. You can be a more effective com- municator by being aware of all the processes involved, especially the silent signals you give and receive. We have only scratched the surface of body language. There is not enough space to delve into seated positions, arm movements, space and territory, eye and facial expressions, let alone go into an in-depth view of standing postures or power gestures. Remember that gestures reflect an inner attitude, and with the knowl- edge of body language you can read the most minute of gestures and use this knowledge to negotiate effectively. APPENDIX.—BIBLIOGRAPHY Argyle, M., Bodily Communication, London, England, Methuen Co., 1975. Argyle, M., and Cook, M., Gaze and Mutual Gaze, Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, England, 1976. 98 J, Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100rights reserved, Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASCE. For personal use only; “Assessments of Nonverbal Behavior,” Wester Journal of Speech, Vol. 43, No. 2, Spring, 1979. Birdwhistell, R. L., Kinesies and Context, University of Pennsylvania Press, Phil- adelphia, PA, 1970. Blondis, M. N., and Jackson, B. E., Nonverbal Commmication with Patients: Back to the Human Touch, 2nd ed., John Wiley and Sons, New York, NY, 1982. Bosmajian, H. A., The Rhetoric of Nonverbal Communication, Scott, Foresman & Co., Glenview, IL, 1971 Burgoon, J. K., and Saine, T., The Unspoken Dialogue: An Introduction to Nonverbal Communication, Houghton Mifflin, New York, NY, 1978. Dance, F. E. X., and Larson, C. E., Speech Communication: Concepts and Behavior, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York, NY, 1972. Davis, B., Inside Intuition, Signet, New York, NY, 1971 Dittmann, A. T., “The Relationship between Body Movements and Moods in Interviews,” Journal of Consulting Psychology, 1962, 26, p. 480. Efron, D., Gesture, Race and Culture, Mouton, The Hague, 1972. Eisenberg, A. M., and Smith, R. R., Nonverbal Communication, Bobbs-Merrill, In- dianapolis, IN, 1971 Ekman, P., Ed., Darwin and Facial Expression, Academic Press, New York, NY, 1973. Ekman, P., and Friesen, W. V., Unmasking the Face, Prentice-Hall, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, 1975. Feldman, S. S., Mannerisms of Speech and Gestures in Everyday Life, International Universities Press, New York, NY, 1959. Hall, E., The Hidden’ Dimension, Doubleday, Garden City, NJ, 1966. Harper, R., Wiens, A. N., and Matarazzo, J. D., Nonverbal Communication: The State of the Art, John Wiley and Sons, New York, NY, 1978. Hinde, R. A., Ed., Nonverbal Communication, Cambridge University Press, Cam- bridge, England, 1972. lard, C. E., Human Emotions, Plenum Press, New York, NY, 1977. Journal of Communication, 1972, 22, pp. 338-559. Katz, A. M., and Katz, V. T., Foundations of Nonverbal Communication: Readings, Exercises, and Commentary, Southern Illinois University Press, Carbondale, IL, 1983, Kendon, A., Studies in Behavior of Social Interaction, Humanities Press, Atlantic Highlands, NJ, 1977. Keyes, R., The Height of Your Life, Little, Brown and Company, Boston, MA, 1980. Knapp, M. L., Essentials of Nonverbal Communication, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York, NY, 1980. Knapp, M. L., Nonverbal Communication in Human Interaction 2nd ed., Holt, Rine- hart and Winston, New York, NY, 1978. Knapp, M. L., Social Intercourse: From Greeting to Goodbye, Allyn and Bacon, Bos- ton, MA, 1978. Kurtz, R., and Prestera, H., The Body Reveals, Harper & Row /Quicksilver Books, New York, NY, 1976. Leathers, D. G., Nonverbal Communication Systems, Allyn and Bacon, Boston, MA, 1976. Lurie, A., The Language of Clothes, Random House, New York, NY, 1981. Mahl, G. F., “Gestures and Body Movements in Interviews,”"J. M. Shlien, Ed., Research in Psychotherapy, Vol. 3, American Psychological Association, Wash- ington, DC, 1968. Mehrabian, A., Silent Messages, Wadsworth Publishing, Belmont, 1971. Mehrabian, A., Nonverbal Communication, Aldine-Atherton, Chicago, IL, 1972 Molloy, J. T., Dress for Success, Warner Books, New York, NY, 1975. Morris, D., Manwatching, New York: Abrams, 1977. Mortis, D., Collett, P., Marsh, P., and O'Shaughnessy, M., Gestures: Their Origins and Distribution, Stein and Day, Briarcliff Manor, NY, 1979. Polhemus, T., The Body Reader: Social Aspects of the Human Body, Pantheon, New York, NY, 1978. 99 J. Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100§ a = Downloaded from ascelibrary.org by UFPB - Universidade Federal da Paraiba on 01/29/18. Copyright ASCE. For personal use on! Riggenbach, J., Up Your Effectiveness, Kendall/Hunt, 1984. Rosenfeld, L. B., and Civikly, J. M., With Words Unspoken: The Nonverbal Expe- rience, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York, NY, 1976. Ruesch, J., and Kees, W., Nonverbal Communication, University of California Press, Berkeley, CA, 1956. Scherer, K. R., and Ekman, P., Eds., Handbook of Methods in Nonverbal Behavior Research, Maison des Sciences de Homme and Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, England, 1982. Schrank, J., Deception Detection, Beacon Press, Boston, MA, 1975. Sommer, R., Tight Spaces, Prentice-Hall, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, 1974. Speer, D. C., Ed., Nonverbal Communication, Sage Publications, Beverly Hills, CA, 1972, Toffler, A., Future Shock, Random House, New York, NY, 1977. Viscott, D., The Language of Feelings, Arbor House, New York, NY, 1976. Weitz, $., Ed., Nonverbal Communication, Oxford University Press, New York, NY, 1974. 100 J, Manage. Eng., 1986, 2(2): 91-100