Creating a Safe Haven for Learning thrd\ghout the year. Respect for students is demonstrated through your mdeling of politeness, courtesy, and honesty. Respect is shared between Mudents and teachers when teachers make it a point to ree- for their efforts and talents—and not metely their aca- tative environment, Dy A more traditional view of\y merely choose to cooperate with us. Weatggest that you develop the ‘kind of meaningful connection wi dents to want to cooperate with y6 lishing a mutually respectful, teachers to reach a commati outcome—Sxomfortable and meaningful Spectful community in a S8kool and classroom also includes estgbifshing ground rules for how stud&es treat each other, ide schoo! teachers realize, if you don’t redgll from your own. School years, that students can be unkind by one another ‘hers have a responsibility to assist students in the cNwlenges they face in responding to daily social pressures Communicating Effectively with Students Many teachers consider themselves to be effective communicators with students and colleagues. You might use the words good listener to describe how friends and family members think of you. Would your students, however, similarly describe you! By the time students arrive in middle school, they have been listening to teachers in formal learne ing environments all day long for at least six years. As McCarthy (1999) pointed out, "During adolescence they want and need the chance to share their feelings and ideas... .” (4-5). Developmentally young adolescents experience a social awakening. Their social needs eclipse other interests and are often a priority in their lives. They are 7Witar Every Mippux Scoot Teacrer Suourp Know certainly concemed with interacting with peers, but they also enjoy conversations with adults, Teachers must provide opportunities for students to be heard, both formally through collaborative leon design and informally through Private conversations. Students notice teachers who genuinely letee te them in conversations about something other than school. When Tadson-Billings (1994) asked a group of eighth graders what they liked about their teacher this is how they responded: She listens to us! She respects us! She lets us express our opinions! She looks us in the eye when she talks to us! She smiles at us! ‘ She speaks to us when she sees us in the hall or in the cafeteria! (68) You may not realize that students notice these behaviors in teachers, but obviously they do—and it matters to them. Teachers’ nonverbal actions are even more noticeable to students than what teachers say. Responding verbally to students without s cane spending and congruent nonverbal action sends a messige but perhars not the one intended. We explained in Chapter 3 how young doles, cents’ brain development affects their ability to adequately process ven bal and nonverbal messages sent by others. Teachers tan sends menage offistening through the following actions (as suggested by Brown 2009) + make frequent eye contact * face the student * listen actively * rephrase a student's comments when he or she is finished speaking * listen completely until the student is finished speaking (13) Active listening is @ critical component of mutual respect between teachers and students. Effective educators find and make time for lis- tening every day and all day. 98{ cudeting “Go over and apologize to her for what you sa.” $ moralizing: “Life isn’t supposed to he fais? ® interpreting: “It’s not that big ofa deal.” * reassuring: “You shouldn't be nervous about thar; you always get good grades.” * uestioning: “Why did you act thae way?” (64) young adolescents: “This person isn’t interested in hearing what I think, believe, or feel”” (14). These traditional responses usually indi- Gate that the adults using them are dominating the conversation and (Engle peat Values and solutions to others’ pete (Englander 1986) [he alternative to using roadblocks is “empathetic listening,” or “getting inside the heads” of students than from your frame of reference as adult teacher. This is the stu- dene’ perception of ality. (Charles 2000, 52 ) 99‘Waar Every Miopts Scoot Teacur Suoutp Know Empathetic listening requires listening without judging ot moraliz- ing. Empathetic listeners encourage students to be responsible for their own behavior by having them reflect on and begin to resolve their own problems. Young adolescents are more likely to develop an internal locus of control of their behavior, taking more responsibility for their actions and words, when teachers use empathetic listening, ‘With a conscious effort, teachers can become better listeners and thus create a classroom of mutual respect. Young adolescents are often consumed by emotional energy. Their verbal outbursts that follow emotional situations are often quite inappropriate. The reaction from teachers during these emo- tional situations is key to maintaining a cooperative spirit with stu- dents. It is easy to feel hurt and angry when a fourteen-year-old swears at you, but a teacher's reaction in that situation can cause even more problems if not designed to defuse emotions and demonstrate mutual respect. A teacher’ response to an emotional outburst is also observed by the entire class as evidence of a teacher's professionalism and care for students, Teachers who react calmly despite their own frustration model ways of responding to aggression and can also defuse a problem more quickly. Brown (2005) provided 2 few defusing responses: * “Swearing is a common response to being embarrassed; how- ever, it offends me and possibly others as well. Plus, it’s not acceptable behavior in a public forum such as school. Can you think of something else to say when you're angry that's not so disrespectful?” * “Inoticed you're late again. Is there anything I can do to help you get here on time? It means a lot to me to have you here when class begins.” * “Isee you don't have a pencil again. What can you do to resolve this problem? Do you need my help in getting supplies?” + “How do you think your behavior might affect others!” * “Lsee you're quite upset. Do you want to talk about it?” (14) 100 alldCreating a Safe Haven for Learning Fach response encourages student self-reflection and ultimately alo notifies students of teacher’ feelings and intent to help, The na, {nappropriate response is to use sarcasm or to belittle students in any way when they act emotionally. Teachers cannot afford to take young adolescents’ unpredictable behavior personally Encouraging Positive Student Relations} Ye adolescents must don a strong suit of armor when they interact wee Nae: You can probably recall your own middle school days sad ek you were treated by classmates who were your friends one fad yout\nemies the next. Middle schools social battlefields royce he describtd a8 a place of survival of che fittest, and many selene don have th strong social strategies they need to defend themacine: Adhles who dob regularly see young adolescents together may rox SQy ways that middle school studeytfs can hurt each cords and actions. Every mjdtdle school teacher RE young adolescents caf create socially and Gmotionally for other stuNgnts. Although wafhy teachers may belies that it is not their place tO\ettle stude educators take a mote proactiverole i dents are polite to one another. Yegchers, at least within their class- tooms, have a tesponsibility to prptide a safe and secure environment for social interaction. For most students, midgi€ school plygents an enticely new social sae ia which they see fe oftheir elemSwrary school friends. Young adolescents who ente Ihor sixth graders usually begin to establish rekétior it Ktudents from varying ot learning begins x of the year thar ose of feeling comfortable together. Until students begin to share as) kets of their lives wich others, they will not experience the sense of tussheedea coapétate with one another or with the teacher Safe and secure classrooms are social environments in Yhich achers provide opportunities for students to become acquaint 101