Yang Sin

The Terrible Tale of (Captain) Toronto Alabama

Barkeep! Get everyone here some drinks, I’ve got a story to tell all these folk. This is the

story of Captain Toronto Alabama! I can tell that everyone sitting in this room is excited about

the great Captain Toronto Alabama! And you better be, there ain’t a better captain out there that

is as righteous, as strong, as handsome, as nice, as handsome especially handsome, because he is

extremely so. “I don’ wanna ‘ear bout Toronto, he owes lotsa money here ya know!” OH but

you do you ridiculous looking man! “wha-” Toronto is a man who single handedly took on the

imperial fleet but, that’ll come at a later time in his life. Right now, at this moment of time,

specifically we’re talking about the origin of the greatest captain you could ever lay your eyes

on. At the beginning he was the absolute most handsome deck swab on his ship it wasn't until a

dreadful meteor storm hit his ship, tore the poor to pieces and through sheer determination and

force of will, he saved half of the ship and came out unscathed with his amazing hair in piece.

Those rumors about him accidentally stumbling into an escape pod drunk and activating it before

the storm started are all false. “What no this is the first time we heard bout that” What this is the

first time you’ve heard them? I mean of course you have, most don’t talk of those rumors since

they’re very very untruthful!

Anyways him and whatever crew left alive which were, by the way all of the crew!

stumbled upon a small planet that could possibly house us for a bit while we tended to our

wounds and found a way off this planet safely and back to civilization. It was a grimy dirty little

world with hardly any grass, it had these rock structures that looked like trees but the “leaves”

were just formations of acid that had crystallized for some reason and on some parts of the planet
the gravity was nonexistent with rocks floating all over the place. I mean at least he had water all

for himself to survive on. On the surface we were to volunteer to see what kind of work we’d do

and he so bravely volunteered to be on the scouting team. Encountering all the dangerous life on

the planet, fighting off natives of the land, testing which food was safe to eat and which wasn’t.

Since the crew were already grateful for his hard work he did, they just had him take a nap.

Later on after he awakens from his nap he hears rumbling and screams of the crew as a

giant lizard looking monster with two-three- no six heads it was like one of those fabled hydra-

thingies it was twenty times larger than he was and was very very hungry. He oh so bravely

started attracting its attention to get it away from the crew which worked magnificently as it

started chasing him and him alone. He realized that the crystallized acid all came from a pool of

oozing acid and tricked the hydra into falling it with some clever trickery. He managed to have

the hydra trip on the rock by carefully maneuvering in front of one while the hydra was running

so it ran into the rock and it fell down.

The crew were extremely grateful for him defeating the lizard that when they found a

ship they could take but could only take one person back they had the captain take it himself.

They thought they could survive alone until he came back for help, alas when captain returned

the crew were dead, but he knew he had to keep strong for them to rest easy. Years later after

working volunteer work for the bank they gracefully donate a couple of million credits to him so

he could go off assemble his own crew and his own ship which he did easily, he was so charming

that no-one would ever ever reject him, hell he even got his ship for free after a bit of haggling

from the gentleman who owned the ship, on that ship him and his crew, had multiple adventures

filled with fun, danger and excitement that would frighten a wild Torcantrope. But his greatest

adventure, yes this is the part with him taking on the imperial armada all alone, was his journey
involving the Pithos of Anesidora. It was some kinda spooky jar, had some spooky effects and

stuff it talked I guess? Really only told us to not open it. it glowed every so often, it was sort of

underwhelming But, I’m getting ahead of myself, while looking for survivors in a shipwreck we

stumbled upon this box which contained this jar thing. It told us that if we wanted to protect the

people and get rich quick we’d have to take it to a place called Oros Belus safely, Captain being

the righteous man he is agreed to and started to look for this Oros Belus. After a few days of

digging around the crew found out that Oros Belus was found in a planet named Helen? No

Hellas! Yes Hellas, but the captain knew the entire time he was just challenging his crew to work

on finding something without his help.

They were about to set sail when some imperial officers and a couple troops numbering

in the hundred confronted us and demanded the Jar as it was an artifact the imperials deemed

“extremely dangerous in the hands of others” or something dumb like that half of what they said

was lost on me so we just started shooting them and through some careful strategy and skill we

completely decimated the army they brought and escaped to the ship where we were greeted by

their entire fleet of warships, Captain knew this would be a tough one so ordered us to be on

standby on the lower deck ready to leave in small transports with the Jar and the entire crew. All

the cannons firing from their ships was deafening but yet there was no shocks from being hit, the

captain all up in the bridge was controlling the ship well enough to dodge every single shot the

Imperials fired and with every thirty or so shots from their one hundred ship strong fleet the

captain would return one dead on target that would destroy it instantly, the captain was like a

Olympic Ice skater, graceful and untouchable throughout that entire battle the captain just kept

dodging and dodging but I think the captain knew he’d be hit eventually and had us get going as

we had a job to do. As the transports left we saw our beautiful ship explode and crumble to
pieces but at the same time, the four hundred strong fleet was now reduced to 50 ships. Like

some kinda space miracle however we saw the captain had escaped on his personal pod!

Unfortunately while he was perfect in every other way, steering escape pods was not his forte

and we impacted falling downwards into the planet of Hellas. Luckily the Captain was amazing

and we landed close to where we had to go to deliver the pithos-jar thing don't ask me how the

captain is just that amazing. On the ground the found out the Imperials had landed beforehand, so

we had to shoot our way through the the highest peak of the mountain area we landed on. Let me

tell you this, it was beautiful it was green and filled with earth like plants with sparkling water

surrounding the mountain area, the core of the planet got messed up through the years I think

though so the gravity was off in the area. The captain with all his intelligence remembered his

time on the deserted planet and used the gravity wells to get us up higher on the mountain to

reach the peak by this moment we realized the jar was glowing a mighty bright green until we

reached the peak where this smarmy official type man started talking to us talking about his

plans or whatever.

I didn't care much for it so I just shot him and killed the rest of his 20 or so men in one

swift strike. As we approach the highest part I realized that something extended past the

mountain range and it kept going up like a sort of escalator as we went up this escalator to the

heavens I think, we saw a large structure with many pillars all dressed in gold and magnificent

statues decorated through its courtyard. We entered this structure which I really thought was

some sort of temple and was greeted by a large disembodied voice whose name I didn’t catch it

too well it was either Zeus, Odin, Indra, Thor, Jupiter or Perun, or maybe it wasn't anything

relating to those names at all like Corn?

 As he bellowed my name and congratulated me, something didn't feel right, I always feel

wrong at the worst of times and I knew in me that if this Jar made it to him we’d all suffer for it.

One thing I realized that we were instructed to never open the Jar and that the Imperials never

once tried to shoot it and never a reason why. As if the voice read my mind it started giving

shape to a large very handsome, but not as handsome as me man and attempted to grab it. I felt a

chill down my spine and at that moment I made the decision to open the jar. When I opened it,

there was a bright flash of light and the man was erased from view, his presence gone and the

surrounding area beginning to be erased along with him. As we escaped I saw wisps of light in

the air it was as if they were dancing in happiness and I heard a faint “we always knew you’d

save us, Captain” I was confused but for once in my life, I knew I did the right thing. I wasn't

lucky in my cowardice, it wasn't my bravado fueling my actions, not my want for recognition. It

was me a man, who all his life has wanted to do good, but only had luck in cowardice or as “the

bad guys” Sorry im getting reflective here what's going on, what’re you looking at? “So that is

you Alabama, you owe 20’000 credits here” Oh barkeep, I know I have an outstanding debt here,

and I know I owe some of you money but that will have to another day for you see, A great man

once said a man or woman it doesn't really matter isn't judged by the debt they have on their

name but! By the actions they do lacking in Bravado only in pure instinct! If i didn't act on

instinct that day we could’ve all been enslaved or dead or worse! Broke! I did what was needed,

so if you could do what is needed and clear me of my debt, the Great Captain, Toronto Alabama

will accept the debt clear graciously and with honor! I take it with you all raising your weapons

means no- wait is that an imperial warship in the distance? “What where! Start clearing up- wait

no there isn't, and where did Alabama go!?” HAH, you should know better than to trust me,
because now I’ll escape and there's nothing you can do about it! Why?! Because I'M THE

GREAT AND TERRIBLE CAPTAIN TORONTO ALABAMA!