Politeness ‘By Jool Yanofsky 5 soow as my sons bigenough A: Wold tor open ered 0 Iho them open for strangers “és a rice thing to do" Lexplained. Of couse like litle kids everywhere, he asked, “Why?” Teonsidered a couple of answer. For fnstance, I could have cold him that such seal, seemingly insignificant gestures are ‘whackeep the abc of society fiom unravel ling Or sincehe was five tthe time 1 could have simply pointed out, “Isnice tobe nice” Instead, I said, “We do it beceuse vee Canadian” Te was as iT was passing along a family treasure, though perhaps not the one we all dream of inheriting —not the beach house, not the trst fund. Sil, my message was in tended to be uplifting. This is who we ae ‘What we do. ele polite and proud of it. How could webs otherwise? Were mised on studies and surveys that routinely declare Canada the friendliest, most wellmannered county in the world Were sensitive about ourranking, too politely if barely, epressng the ge te demand. recount on those rare oessions ‘when wee edged ost ofthe top spot by New Zealand o apr. “The stuiesand surveys incidetaliy keep coming, Researches at Ontaris McMaster University recently came to the conclusion that Canadian weets are demonstrably nicer than this American counterparts. Outs fe ture keywords like “besutifl” “gent” and “amazing” Thision' simpising; evens ite rnain the kind of thing we ean seem to get enough ofin this cout. Speaking of keywords theone Canadians arebest own for—in addition th —Is “oy? We say itrepeatey often inappope- aay The other day my son. wh seal 18 how bumped into his deskand overheard him apologize —to an inanimate object. T wast sure whether or not to pat myself ‘on the back Did [raise him well? Or was his reflexive “sory” ingrained, part of his Can adian DNA? "As for how we got this way. we can, a8 ‘usual startby blaming the weather: Ourpoite- res, according to fan Ferguson, co-author of “How to Be a Canadian: Even If You Already ‘Are One, is primacily a survival strategy: “It ‘comes from the absolute need totolerete your neighbourbecause they might be the only per son who can rescue you in a blizzard when ‘your car breaks down. And vice versa” Our neighbour to the south may be another reason we'e so often viewed as nice. The comparison —as with those tweets —playsto our advantage “Ifwelived ‘on top of, say, Belgium,” Ferguson added, wel still be amore polite society, but not by enough to, you know, brag about it” ‘Out front-row seat to American brash: ness may also account for our histori iden tity esis — 150 years of wondering “Ifwere not them, who are we?” What more, mind {ng our manners from that front-ov seat has instilled in us an even more complicated kind of personality complex —equal parts superiority and inferiority. We make fun of “Amesicansat the same times we envy them. ‘We're not polite to a fault so much as polite till we cant take it anymore. That's ‘why its worth remembering that our lauded national niceness is, ultimately, a stereotype and, like all stereotypes, it contains a grain fof teuth as well as sand—the kind you cant quite get out of your shoe. ‘We are Canadian, after all. We've seen ut fellow counteywomen and men cut {nto lines, hog seats on buses, alk in movie theatres, We know some of us can be rude sometimes. We know it because we are rude sometimes. Bus, guess what, it really is nice to be nice. Ie makes you feel warm and proud —maybeeven overly proud Politeness has a passive aggressive streak and, on behalf of Canadians everywhere, fm sory about that just not that sony. 1 still hold the door open for strangers every chance I get. But I also secretly watt for my fellow Canadians to walk past me ‘without saying thank you or even nodding “When that happens—and it does, often «enough that someone should doa study —T zo longer refrain from muttering, unapolo- aeticaly, "Youre welcome!" & {THE STORY OF CANADA IN ONE HUNDRED AND FIETY OBJECTS. 17