Flower 1

Emily Flower
Cultural Autobiography

My Autobiography

All of my life, I have been the protector and the “mother hen” of the family. I don’t think

that this was something that was explicitly taught to me; I just inherited the responsibility as my

family experienced trauma and broke apart. I have experienced things that no child should have

to experience and have assumed responsibilities that should not be conceived by a child.

I was born in Santa Fe, New Mexico in the summer of 1996. My parents had moved to

New Mexico from Arizona because my mom’s job relocated. However, a year after my birth, we

moved back to Arizona and have stayed here ever since. At the time, I was the only child but I

would soon have to learn to share the attention with my little sister four years later. We were a

small, four-person Euro-American family consisting of a mother, father, and two daughters. We

only spoke English and were never really introduced to other languages, other than some Italian

since my mom’s side of the family was primarily of Italian descent. I was raised in a strict

Roman Catholic family, but I never really believed what was being preached, so I ultimately

chose to stop participating in church events, classes, and mass (which was not a popular decision

in my family’s eyes). From what I remember, we lived a normal and happy life. However, this

would all start to change as I went into the second grade.

Children in second grade are supposed to be worried about making friends and

completing their homework. Although I was faced with these challenges as well, I was also

forced into the reality of whether or not my dad would survive the cancer in his bladder that he

was diagnosed with. My sister and I did what we could to help out with our dad, but our family

would never be the same after that. Thankfully, my dad did survive after multiple surgeries to

reconstruct his bladder out of his small intestine and chemotherapy treatments. Eventually, the
 Flower 2

hardship of dealing with cancer robbed our family of happiness and my dad turned to alcohol and

my mom was faced with raising my sister and I without help from my dad. My parents divorced

when I was about 10 years old, which ultimately was the best thing for us because my dad had

become physically abusive towards me. I was forced to protect my little sister from these

unfortunate experiences and take the brunt of it all, which I do not regret doing. Overall, this led

us to loose contact with our dad because he stopped putting in any effort to communicate or see

my sister and I after the divorce. Although my dad survived the cancer, in my mind, the cancer

still killed him because I never really saw him after that.

My mom did her absolute best to raise her two daughters without any help from our dad.

She worked all the time but still managed to make it to the majority of our school events and

sports games. My mother always instilled the importance of education in our lives even though

she had only completed high school and was not a very good student. I remember, as I got older,

my homework got more difficult and eventually, my mom was unable to help. It was as if the

assignments were in another language that she could not decipher. Despite losing our mom’s

help, my sister and I were both able to somehow maintain 4.0 GPA’s all through high school and

graduate at the top of our classes.

When I was in the seventh grade, my mom started dating and eventually remarried when

I was in high school. My mom married a racist man who had three children (all younger than my

sister and I), one of which was not yet born when my sister and I first met him and his other

children. I refused to accept my stepdad and refused to let him into my life because I didn’t want

to have a replacement father figure, especially since my dad turned out to be unsupportive. For

the first year and a half of my mom and stepdad’s relationship I stood my ground and battled it

out with my stepdad in an attempt to make his life difficult and eventually leave. However, he
 Flower 3

never did and I was faced with accepting my new reality. I took care of my sister and three little

stepsiblings and became a mother figure to them instead of a sister. My youngest brother was

like my child and I treated him like so from the day he was born until now. He even used to call

me his number one mama. Also, my sister still refers to me as her dad since I took on that role

for her when my dad left. At first, this was of my own choosing, but I was eventually forced to

take care of all four of my siblings when both my mom and stepdad turned to alcohol. My mom

and stepdad seemed to be happy but the alcohol ruined our family once again.

Although my mom and stepdad are still together, they both refuse to admit that they are

alcoholics and seek help to remedy the problem. My stepdad is not physically abusive but is

verbally abusive, despite his understanding of what that means, and I am faced once again with

the obligation of doing my best to shield all my siblings from it. Unfortunately, this is something

that I am still dealing with and probably will deal with for the rest of my life. I hope that this

recurring cycle of pain and suffering ends somewhere and does not carry over to my sister and I.

Overall, one thing I know for sure is that I will always be there for all four of my siblings

regardless of what happens and I will do absolutely anything for any of them. If there was

anything positive that came out of my difficult childhood and upbringing, it is a deep connection

and devotion to my siblings that will never end.

 Flower 4

Emily Flower
Cultural Biography

Cultural Biography Interview Questions

1. What was/is your family like?

2. What is your ethnic background?

3. What language(s) do you speak?

4. Where were you born?

5. How were you raised?

6. What values and beliefs were you taught as a child?

7. Did you have any traumatic experiences growing up?

8. Do you believe in a particular religion?

9. What is your life like today? Are you working, going to school, etc.?

10. Are you a first generation college student?

 Flower 5

Cultural Biography

For the cultural biography, I interviewed a young girl named Selena. Selena was born in

Mexico, but moved to Arizona when she was young when her family immigrated to America “in

the hopes of living a better life.” Although, Selena was born in Mexico and lived there for many

years and still has family there, she considers herself to be Mexican-American because she

recently became a citizen of the United States, which is something that she is very proud of.

Selena’s native language is Spanish, but she learned English upon arriving in the United States

and beginning school. Selena did struggle in school at first because she did not know the

language, but luckily, she was able to pick up the language fairly quickly with help from her

older sister who was also learning English with her. Selena remembered studying with her sister

and having to ask her sister for help with homework instead of her mother because her mom did

not know English yet.

Selena was raised in a Catholic household and still believes in the religion today, but does

not practice as avidly. Selena does not usually attend masses or church ceremonies but feels as

though her faith, belief, and devotion to the religion is enough for her right now. Selena did not

have a father figure in her life until her mother got remarried to her current stepfather, who is

also the father of her younger brother. Aside from not having a father figure growing up,

immigrating to another country at a young age, and being taught in a foreign language, Selena

has not had any other major traumatic events occur in her life that she can remember. For a

while, Selena was living with her mother, stepfather, older sister, and younger brother. However,

she currently is living away from her family because she moved to Tucson in order to attend

college.
 Flower 6

Selena is a senior at the University of Arizona and is studying Psychology with a minor

in Spanish. Selena is considered a first generation college student even though her older sister

recently graduated from a university. Selena also spends time working in a local Tucson school

as an aide to students in low-income areas and are also English Language Learners (ELLs).

Selena takes great pride in her job and is contemplating whether she wants to pursue a career in

education. She is unsure whether to become a teacher or to continue with Psychology and be a

counselor at a school where the majority of the students are experiencing things that she has in

the past.

Selena’s mother instilled in her at a young age the idea of being independent, which has

stuck with Selena to this day. Selena is very family-oriented and is determined to be a positive

role model for her younger brother. Since Selena’s mother does not speak English fluently, she

has had to take the responsibility of helping her little brother in school when he is struggling. Her

brother is fortunate enough to not only know two languages and be proficient in both, but also

have a personal tutor to help him when he is struggling, unlike Selena and her sister. Selena

hopes that her younger brother will follow in her and her sister’s footsteps and go to college and

become a successful individual and defy the stereotypes that they are all forced to face everyday.

Selena does her best to shield and protect her brother from experiencing various

microaggressions, but is also aware that it is unfortunately inevitable in today’s society. Selena

shared that one of the most hurtful microaggressions that she ever experienced was someone

saying that she wasn’t a “real Mexican” because her skin color is lighter and she does not have a

strong accent like ignorant people would expect her to have since she is not a native English

speaker. Selena does her best to not let these malicious comments and ideologies affect her, but

sometimes that is easier said than done.

 Flower 7

Emily Flower
Cross Cultural Reflection

Cross Cultural Reflection

Prior to completing my interview with Selena, I did not suspect that we would have much

in common since we are from different cultures. However, after interviewing her and learning

more about her life, the things she has gone through, and where she is today, I quickly realized

that we do actually have many similarities. Also, I came to the realization that despite our past,

our present and future are similar in the sense that we are both college students trying to make

our way through the world and find our niche.

Although Selena and I do not come from the same or even similar cultures, we have

many similarities in our upbringing and the values that were instilled in us at a young age. I was

born in the United States and was primarily raised by a single mother. Even though, I was not

explicitly told to, I always knew that it was my job to look after my younger sister and to protect

her from anything and everything, no matter what. I think that this is something that Selena

learned to in regards to her younger brother. Selena was born in Mexico, but moved to Arizona

when she was little. At first, her older sister looked over and protected her, which I think

provided a model for how Selena should be with her younger brother once he was born. Selena

was also raised primarily in a single parent household until her mom remarried, similar to my

mom.

Although Selena and I both experienced hardships growing up, they were not similar.

The hardships that Selena experienced were mostly due to being a second language learner in a

foreign country with no support at home to be able to help her in school, other than her sister

who was also learning English. I experienced multiple forms of abuse as a child, which made it

hard to stay positive and interested in school. Even though these difficulties seem unrelated, I
 Flower 8

think that the overall theme is similar. Both Selena and I had to do what we had to do in order to

survive. I had to act and behave in certain ways that prevented my sister and I from being

abused, and Selena had to focus in school and learn English in order to be a productive member

of society one day.

Overall, I believe that both Selena and I have achieved that goal and have “survived.” We

have both escaped our difficult pasts and do our best to not allow it to hold us back from

accomplishing our dreams. We both became first generation college students by overcoming the

stereotype of not going to college just because our parents did not. We did not allow other people

to write our story, but instead grabbed ahold of our lives and took control. We did not stop doing

what we needed to do for us just because someone said we couldn’t or that we shouldn’t. We

took a minute to realize what we needed and wanted in our lives and achieved it. We will both

graduate in May of 2018 ready to dive head first into our careers. I will be a special education

teacher and Selena will potentially become a school counselor or teacher as well. We have both

realized that despite our struggles, we have something to offer the world and feel that we can do

that by helping to educate the future generations.

I do not think that neither Selena nor myself will ever stop breaking down stereotypes

and achieving our goals. I think that although it is unfortunate that we had to experience such

difficulties as young children, they have made us stronger and more equipped to help people. We

understand the struggles that other people are enduring and we have made it our mission to

understand them and help them through their journey, just like we did. We want to see people

accomplish great things even after they have been told time and time again that they won’t or

that they can’t. We will help others realize that they are not so different from one another.