t i p s y w i d o w s

t i p s y w i d o w s

by Brian J. Dale
briandale.bd@gmail.com
 3

TABLE OF MALCONTENTS

no more tigers : 6

jericho jones : 7

i keep ragged angels : 8

empty spent & gypsy dry : 9

split the 50 : 11

the open spoken : 12

event horizon : 14

the floydian morrison : 16

carny : 19

simply sitting with it : 20

unthinking matter : 21

simple inch : 22

every show's the same : 24

unlucky shirt : 26

the dangerous canine, backwards : 28

star sky face barnyard : 29

pervert crutches : 31

the sisyphus machine : 32

status cloud : 33

a happier evil : 35

tombstones of venom : 37

eclectic caesars : 38

old me: a reminder : 39

 4

beneath the receiver : 41

mean zinger : 42

prince inert : 43

so you finally found me : 44

trauma moms : 46

you can't bury these whispers : 47

nowadaze : 48

the edge of yesterdaze : 49

speaking south : 50

thunder boots : 51

tunnel logic : 52

may pole : 53

the jester medical : 54

when i was a kid : 55

rabid foxtail jailbait : 56

random gelatin nookie caboose : 58

to me : 59

less than three : 60

this sibilant machine : 61

number one : 62

no-thing : 63

trenchcoat nirvanas : 65

messages to home base : 66

 5

this alley in your car : 67

must : 68

the entire structure is broken : 69

at first, it's dark : 71

we growl like meat : 73

sometimes i : 74

to all you living fuckers : 75

loaded : 77

clobber : 78

you children of loud : 79

tastee knotsense : 81

smash head cider blues : 82

b a l m : 83

no longer will they merely prowl : 84

tv-speed frenzy : 85

!
 6

no more tigers

no more tigers
left at willy's house
all the strange-aroos have gone to bed

grew my cactus
underneath the preacher's chair
snuck a drunk mouse home in my pocket

full of stagger-zines
and will-I-be's
slo-mo calamity
of self-pity

can't close the door

cuz
the windows missing
and
I cannot say why
I don't care no more

lost the se7enth kite

in screaming breezes
of teenanity
or hilarity

roll up window when it's raining

roll down hill without explaining

no more tigers
no more tigers
tyger tyger
burning bright
 7

jericho jones

jericho jones weeps

anticipates, waits

skips razor pebbles

while the
oilcan windchime drips

tries to hide
barks and bites
camouflages
secret disease

...crows!
...damn these crows!

get out deceivers

believers receivers
go go go get gone

ah, shit: broke

bereft
phoneless, limp

mossy mama
phony apron
lunar lawn
of latin labor

wake disease
creek me again

out by the fire again

leper-camped
bottle-bound
still no way out

owlface weary
griteye yearning
dance skin wet
wild step
forget
 8

i keep ragged angels

i keep ragged angels

birdbath naked
by the
barbecue tarp

ladder amped
on shed antics
&
whatever else
the boundary bastards
whisper w/their cash

bug-lip tired &

bullshit chanting
forget
the rent

scarecrow smoke
slow to sizzle
bottled fire
exclaiming flames

break & enter

back porch
pilfer steal
pilfer pilfer

front yard lost

crashed & covered
usual
anthill
 9

empty spent & gypsy dry

can't reload the gun

till
the chamber's empty

empty spent
&
gypsy dry

i need a drink

but the night porter

...that sad motherfucker
won't stop his crying

those stupid salty

sometimes tears

we left lefty's place

& went right to rhonda's

right on
roll on
don't be
left behind

the phone won't stop ringing

&
the wallpaper's peeling off
the ramen-flavored walls

she's cooking another pot of chili

that no one will ever eat

swear they ain't lying

swear they truth-telling
we'll see

she said she slept in your closet

for at least a week

buried in blankets
unanswered

gin-flavored questions
smoke-haunted factory dramas
 10

& nameless purses filled

w/the stale pedestrian
combs, keys & wallets
of happy hour thievery

the guard won't be back around

till after 3am
we'll be safe here
forawhile
 11

split the 50

yeah,
i once split the 50
on 33rd avenue

by the hydrant
junkie's shadow
baking

barking
fake dogs asleep
in some
dream saloon

stained panelling
channeling burroughs

another moreperfect
dismal otherday

raw bones full of jones

lost phones that no one owns
that goddamn fog
& all those voicemails

so i split the 50
w/blood in my mouth
last thing i remember
on 33rd avenue

33rd the avenue

&
split
the 50
 12

the open spoken

i'll engross
the open spoken
waltz matilda
thru power lines

accept the charges

order extra-larges

cram the stanzas with

word bananas if
over-thought it
might become
(well done)

philandering masters
wreak streaks
alabasters

glamouring pastors
detracting from hammers
alone,
the truth stammers...

we open our minds

when they close up shop
they show us the bottom
we show them the top

we say to go
they say to stop
we say to rise
and still they
do drop

how much do
can a do drop drop
if a do drop could drop do?

yammering stanzas
of panda meat cameras

posting on profile
wide mile of smile
straight pile of wile
their child: wild
 13

*sigh*

why of all dynamics

does yours seek that
& it seek for yours?

this accident excuse

is rusty & it squeaks
you need a new one

your daughter is not

in her bed tonite
 14

event horizon

where in this
is
the point of no return?

the event horizon

that happens
& collapses
all maybes
into
for-sure?

like the way dawn will peak her head

playfully, signalling -

"change is coming. here comes the light"

yet it's still night + mighty dark

but then...
w/gradual grace grows
+ starts to illume the space

the deep hazy dark navy

morphs + slides into
portentious puple
a pregnant precursor

then
teases + hints
become
cues + changes
the scene rearranges

the thick royal purple

surrenders her ink again
to the elevating solar orb's
daily wander
 15

but when
exactly

did it become
day?

& who
or what
can certainly
say?
 16

the floydian morrison

i used to think going crazy

would be fun
some sort of psychic
adventure

a royal disarrangement
that i could surf
to egotastic glory

but fuck, man...

it's not any of that

it's just raw + sad

+ every bit of applause
is just more teeth
for the inner rot
to chew you up with

sanity swallowed
sinks in sadness

i guess
somewhere
down the line
i learned that
being free
+ alive
+ growing
requires a clear mind

(or one occasionally deranged

by baudelaire bongs
or rimbaud's giggling drunk)

i've watched good people

eat their best years whole
w/the gaping maw
of
raging
disorientation
 17

the whole "crazy artist thing"

gets so much play
because it's very *useful*
for

The Organization

to have you believe

you must

lose your minds

or
drown in drugs

to succeed as a
creative force

!absolute fucking hogwash!

it all started one morning

when i thought to look at things
& assume (just for a bit)
that
everything i knew
was untrue
or
yet another ploy

(as an experiment
w/clear bounds &
forethought)

it yielded bushels
of
paranoid nonsense

but that's not *all* it

yielded...

it also opened
new angles
on old myths
that us outlaws
like to call
our own
 18

the Floydian Morrison myth

of the eternal high
(or madness)
- same difference

it opened up
&
showed me it's
inner
clockwork
gyre

another innovation
diseased by corruption
in the hands of
the profane

look...

i'm not saying you shouldn't

get high
or
experiment with
extremely strange
thought pathways

i'm just saying that

within that
lies a tender trap

& the bait is just

everything you want

but you have to

lose yourself
entirely
to get it.
 19

carny

sea monkeys & pollen

gravel-sweat symphony
midway mystery
masters monday

demented decorated
spin-art storms

carnivalesque
bulesque
drama queen drag

cotton candy crazy

ring toss terrible
& rad

rollercoaster tornado
whizzing whirring whimsy

booth-burning, cookie-tossing
tilt-a-whirl fandango

freak show fabulous

top-hat tactics & tricks
- sideshow sin

...ah, the wonders held within....

(You must be THIS tall to ride the ride)

 20

simply sitting with it

i finally pulled back

&
got things into perspective
& priority order
tonite

discovered a few old wounds

that i hadn't realized had started bleeding
again,
they are now bandaged.

remembered my body
& the now
& what a true chameleon
The Next Moment is.

remembered that change is my friend

& that i should keep
a butterfly-view of all this,
not one of caterpillars.

swam a few laps

in the oceans of my self-pity,
then rinsed the salt clean
w/rains of Letting Go
under a moon of light
that keeps whispering
"yes you can"

balanced once again

on the razor-blade of perception,
eyes focused
on the horizon of my intent
& letting action follow action
as action will do.

it's all outta my control anyway

& always has been.

sometimes that fact just scares me

as much as it amazes & uplifts me other times.
 21

unthinking matter

dying
hastily,
poisoned
& numb
w/wipe-outs
& you

satellites
of never
invade
their skulls

north american
habits & dramas
bring panic & shock

some flute shoot

goes haywire

drizzling dozing
from kazoo
damage

cheese-type
tasty dosages

genius makes
sparxxx
of larks

supplanting mortgages
smashing illusions
of their
yesterhaze

swiftness
...bliss
 22

simple inch

you're missing only

that one
simple inch

illusionary cascades
cause
burning eyes

cleaning again
(in secret)
the master's syllabus

vanquishing the eclipse

of collapsing hobos

misdirected by avarice,
& oh-so-moist with want

campfires whisper
of mall tricks:
they are taught
to your sponges
for free

the unknown
is somehow
stuck inside

unamerican dreams lure

w/their enduring
(yet disregarded)
callous complaints
of unknown origin

the undeep depths

of the one-track mind
make
the associative roman candles
of idea-makers
seem too bright

i get it:
you're trampled
 23

you've been w/out signal

in the pornographic cloister
of longish fevers

but
if your zeal tends towards
the prophetic
or
the incendiary

you'll soon find that

underneath our bandit cannons
we're slouching
towards Bethlehem & shit

(it's not preferred

to blindly hitchhike naked
- it's dangerous!)

is your chosen thumb-wisdom

high-caliber?

do you not asphyxiate

in this perforated
& amorphous fence culture?

did you find the shell

I left for you
by the river?

(or just fingerprints?)

 24

every show's the same

the mermaid w/antlers

lovingly strokes
the naked dryad
& her hungry wolf head

monks of confusion
fight
monks of delusion

in the center
a stringed instrument
cries melodic tears

hides clocks
in flowers
puts helmets
on infants

the single-shot succubus

sleeps w/the
mechanical bull,
snorting

steam clouds
or incense
or fire smoke
surrounds

the golden key

dipped in honey
fed to brash bears,
ranger-defiant
& full

saccharine sirens
becon from
industry rocks
towards sleep

the slim scroll of yes

avalanched beneath
the shine of glory
 25

a comfy afterlife
of pillows & dreams
& chains of desire

naked once more

before this weird
funeral pyre
of today

i change the channel

but
every show's the same
 26

unlucky shirt

a wall of buddha machines

to play with

painted tepid
as
an unruly backyard

catatonic, sordid
stoked on vigor
& total
& kewl

traffic wheels
cavort
stupid

insipid, slow:
digital ants

heartless so
from
piano
syntax

bedsheets bring delight

professors
unshaven
sneak out of the hospital

illuminati gibberish
&
raw spangled shock

retired & sad

from eyeball
vibrations

dungarees rage
with
electro-magnets
of great size

sinister, yes
-silent too
 27

jazz soup
hidden in your
narco-tobacco

a maze of
lonesomes
& twins

a system
of levers
&
scholars
cowering

crass & electric

original jars
the alarm
 28

the dangerous canine, backwards

the dangerous canine:

backwards & once-trusted,
now flushed & mute

asthmatic temples
become paralyzed

squandering every apple,

acting scarce,
indulging in
scripted tell-a-vision

disciples indignant
distract the
true spartan

blunt force
demotivates,
trumps jokers

our amp chaos

cracks
their unidentified cinder caves

our shadows
thieve mundane
like
sacred cement vixens

their oracles
are flightless & limp:
dim & dumb

we fly into tomorrow

grinning
& shit on their statues
 29

star sky face barnyard

S is for "STAR"
but also
S is for "SKY"
(because stars need skies to be)

F is for "FACE"
the dew-eyed mamajamma of
dairycow madonna shoemagnet angst

B is for "BARNYARD"
leaning postboards
describe agri-hell:
receptacles of yestervegas

articulate boneheads
thrash
threshhold precipitates
glean barely the
wavering bonanza

sleekbananatugboatmotherfuckccers

dandy vines, wines, rhymes

wisdoms & fermenteds

dalliant spasms w/medium anger

closing shrouds unseen
for cabinet makebelieve reasons

every monument has a flaw

- a trigger to make real
or else
virtual

wrong tests
the limits of
digital scale-age

(what is the weight of 1 unit of chaos?)

we're redoing
done tests that failed
 30

but some of us are watching

& might make the next round
really count....

PS:
changing the changing nature of change
will change the changer....
 31

pervert crutches

your birthright rides

on pervert crutches

swallowing the silly slut soup

of rampant cowboy libido

artistic rifles mimic & vamp

beside the masculine tractor

dosage apologies can't excuse

these
lazy nazis
& their
insistent
sniping vectors

chandelier villains traipse

like nympho butchers,
flashbulb caricatures
of sepia indulgence

rush fluid: flash!

gas catastrophes lurk

ultra-lethal
& swollen
 32

the sisyphus machine

rotting
our calendars
from inside

blind like morlocks

we keep cranking
the sisyphus machine

drunk with death

in gasoline tatters

a smiling skull
forgotten

the 3-piece financial

terrorist
sweats poison candy
in his rare bursts of sober

encoding damage
copied into
the lifeline
insidious

rotting
our calendars
from inside

quaint transient trees

fucked by smokestack cocks
belching repetition
+ blame
+ gray rage

blind like morlocks

we keep cranking
the sisyphus machine

drunk with death

in gasoline tatters

a smiling skull
forgotten
forgotten
 33

status cloud

love freedom?

fucking
voices sleep

labor laughing
forth

mouse wink
dreamed

begin nope:
closet feline
rodent taste

you've giant!

pascal prefers;
finally wonders

(chompeth)

..listen alot..

drinking cowmouse:
hidden, 3-headed

described cheetah's universe

- liquid-silver

hell likes ellipses.

paradise...
especially barns
 34

sunset muertos
gentle dexter mind
learned, intelligent
turkey

thine cat-king agrees:

saturday

life : books.

loves : walking, head

 35

a happier evil

anonymous crew-cut intent

crashes wanly before
the afternoon squad:
trouble

sunburn ratios tremble

& measure the accuracy of
photographic metaphors

flint volunteers, alone

skate their tuned kidneys
on stolen junk-mail salad

gutter dialects sadly sigh

into the duplicate cartridges
full of slang symmetry

the squeamish rural jellybeans

seek garish relief
inside risk monuments,
wallpapered with newsprint

their pessimist laughter &

reform pride swims grinning
thru the logo hordes

midget liquors &

blooper afternoons
pimp antibody fractions
made of errors & fogs

hasty cheekbone caskets, numb

- reak of futile administration
& split the unfriendly streets

non-believers record
profane neighbor lust,

dashing simple weather

with terrible triage

:a happier evil
 36

oh, naive relatives

who spiral loudly
past backbone juries
with idyllic numbness

unseemly cliffs shake &

declare chemical combos,
joke w/revenue ammo
like every scared freak

exhausted circuit hoodlums

compile carefully the footfall
of voltage invalids, scarred

these ballpoint agendas

creak with blood underneath
their chorus of concrete

sharp cobra potlucks

feed w/dread funk
& assassinate their dreams

eardrum remedies
make
felony promises:
ignore their employed dangers

intoxication fences
ink our fascination,
spike depositions grimly
with maudlin gauntlets
 37

tombstones of venom

we shout "fuck you"

at the clouds
like monkeys

spit tombstones of venom

at mountains
like clowns

like a thirsty virgin

who wailing beguiles you

(you will not be ignored)

she told me that

the first step back
into hell
was a hot one

yet even damned feet

gain de-sensing, numbness

and lately hell even

can seem like aces
if you just get used to
being a devil

look up to begin
look back to the first
 38

eclectic caesars

eclectic caesars
bring
raptor raptures

they'll take it
the wrong way
every time

tramp commandos
& their trash battalions
tirade in sign language
& forget their homes

bleak blank zombie toughs

shamble sporadic
w/the crass juice
of self-pity

we see you &

know your perimeters
you won't find us
wailing at your wall

tired scoundrels make

bedspring whimpers
cigarette their way into
empty hearts asleep

the motor mamas

& their diesel daddies
jake brake
like steel yodels

let dusk become a habit

preach silence to mimes
& try to lock
revolving doors

the jester
just snores
 39

old me: a reminder

i will not wheeze

with the gray battalions
as they shuffle
to the store
w/their coupons
& AARP discounts

i will not sleep in a chair

a grandpa snoring
while the world keeps spinning
& trying (as always)
to knock me off my course
or knock me down a peg

i will not

you won't find me

wrinkled & crying
in the sad storm of age
weeping for lost things
& lost people & lost youth

you won't find me

on the porch
waiting for
my time to die

you will not

old me
will still
be me

and if
(i hope not)
you do find me
doing these things

please
(please!)
kill me dead
right there
 40

i don't
care how

because doing those things

would mean i'm already gone
(the real me, that is)

i'm a leaper
not a limper

i'm a laugher
not a crier

i am alive:
all alive
& that way
is death
warmed-over

"when the music's over

turn out the lights"
(or i will, myself)

*click*
 41

beneath the receiver

beneath
the receiver
shouts the
destructive eccentric

an ascending
welfare decays

a superior pub smiles

above the
disconnected birthday

an incompetent prosecutes
the
staring innocence

their cube stalls

on another
provocative
headache

conductive bounces
of daily genetics
overwhelm outcries

your
climbing cleaner
stares
at begonias
with
introspective whim

our modest galaxy

fuses any
stretched rabbits

peanut algebra tactics

are no longer congruent

whip your eyes before

they go bandit-blind
with dimpled dangers
& styrofoam challenges
 42

mean zinger

mean zinger
malinger
looms

like
mandrake
tendrils

cracked
tracked
fervent
& wooden

looms are yes

12 impedes

squelch believe:
sliiiiiiiiiiide

lava templates
pasting
as vacant drivers
forget

bang!

scrape sevens
traipsing as
visions tribal

vamps suffocate +
forget accidents

slade privacy
sharpens briars

college tricks
are lip silence
 43

prince inert

prince inert
not above

just isolated

transient creation
quite intangible
fungus
strangles
striving

frustrates
organism
byzantine

symbol voodoo:
a conduit
over-abundant

love is the
mouth-sound

a pageant
of identity

seeping strangely
broken models limp
- you missed it

feelings connect
thru
wizard canals

telescopes uncanny
are just yours

not dressed
partly

is that
the cavern?
 44

so you finally found me

so you finally
found me...

can you stop

these headaches?

do you know why this thing

that looks like a tail
grows every day?

i'm also puzzled

as to why i can hear
those horrible things
you're thinking about me now

that's OK -
don't apologize,
i'm used to it...

but i'm maybe ready

to go back now

can i return
if i wanted to?

there's no need
for those devices:

i'll go willingly,
i'm worn out
from the effort
of invisibility

was that you probing me?

your static minds
are chaos to me

the way you think:

it aches my inside
+ your psi-team
is novice, at best
 45

[i could've
killed
them all,
but even
pursuers
are company]

if nothing else,
i've been curious
if it would turn out
as the eyes spoke it

by the way...
that agent behind
[trying to sneak]
would be jello
if this
wasn't fun
for me

can you stop these spasms?

do they come from the implant?

[it's distracting to be not-one]

i ripped it out once

but it appeared again
within a week:

whole +
stronger

stranger,
full of
danger

i gave up then +
decided to become
your beast

you want data?

you need stats?

count the dead

ten seconds
from now…
 46

trauma moms

amplified
trigger-happy
trauma moms

digging trenches of guilt

with picks of shame

hosing with gas

the smoking grenades
of yesteryears

soaking their
trembling gazebos
with
pasty fog regrets

testifying
with mouthy glee
chasing our future away
w/scarecrows of thunder

their lame flotillas

of you-shoulda
capsize
near the damp shore
of our choices

the fear phone

keeps ringing blood
and all the hideouts
have been incinerated

there has to be a way

back to simple sanity
but it's blocked
by their shadow
& it's trampling envy
 47

you can't bury these whispers

you can't bury

these whispers
in your usual dirt

the empty clothesline

and that
never-answered phone
give them away

like fake flyers

for a concert
of silence
at night,
underground

i've washed your thorns

and
painted them nicely
but
i'm still bleeding
and
somehow
you still laugh

don't tell me
what i'll get over
and when

your hidden doors

and vague slanders
cripple you
with invisible

i'd cry
but i
hardly exist
anymore
 48

nowadaze

always crashing
chasing never

trashing friendlies
droids are smiling

just
keep attacking
keep attacking

make sure to kill

what
you're attracting

waking sandstorms
faking windows

making sick days

rent's past-due

lie tomorrow
fake dilemmas

sleeping angry
always hungry

seldom winning
human strays
yester-never
nowadaze
 49

the edge of yesterdaze

memories:
the edge
of yesterdaze
poking
into tooday

sharp
ones sting
bright
ones laugh

that way they can suck

us back into joys
or terrorble times
or horrible gladmess
sadness madness
(yes, even happiness!)

years
worth of
tears
suddenly
appears

when i remember
i slip the timesteam

i hope it's not a noose

but
a rope ladder
to wholesome thens

...remember when?
 50

speaking south

my southern drawl?
whatever are y'all
talking about?

do you hear cicadas

chirping
in my
slip-slide-slow-speak?

a southern freak
i roll my speak
off my tongue
like it was sung

plantation
mentations
historic
lamentations

the heat
in my throat
voice-fucks
the note

a confederate
quote
that on truth
does dote.....
 51

thunder boots

droplets of prophets
massaging the space-time
the wisdom of rockets

we rhyme
clandestine

they took the hook

so says the book

special pedestrian
a horn-horse equestrian

symptoms are splashing

+
visions are crashing

damage regression
you swallow your fears

sealed w/tears
+ built for years

dropped hard on head

+ slapped w/crisis

we watch for horus

but
we follow isis
 52

tunnel logic

the primacy of perception

the perfection of deception
deny imagination
give in to corporation

this body - this beast - this zoo

so far away from all that's true
our tunnels built of emotional glue
their hugs collapse the things you do

can't see fresh w/yesterday's eyes

the truth of that few realize
don't live a life that you despise
being light is how one flies

truth is true
+ lies are not
don't try to be
what you are not

they taught us this lie

that now makes us cry
our selves they deny
w/that look + that sigh

all of it
a power game
you let them win
when you're the same

deny the wrong

embrace the right
you have to spark
your own true sight
 53

may pole

alabama giraffes
androgynous + drunk

arson cuties
w/their usual
assassin pets

bacon bras
slathered on
breaded weirdos

his languid lurid

beelzebub wristwatch
keeps hiding her
bickering barbecue

someone laughed
+ said:
"big emotions
are not evidence..."

>bump bump<
goes the
cartoon nudity
*giggle*
 54

the jester medical

the evermore staggering trilogy

the always-near
nightmare keepsake

with yeti language

we lodge in complaints
crapped out + done
limp derelict casinos

chewing sandpaper
gypsy sandwiches
swallowing w/spit
the rubber biscuits

all of them w/their

sarcastic chemistry
lying smokers fake
their burdens

the frantic family

fauning frowning
froggy fiction
freaks the follies

sector mummies breed

the jester medical
remedial + ceremonial

we mapped it all out with

these ancient amps
+ we swindled gravity
while the carpet flooded
 55

when i was a kid

uh-oh!
can't make it back
to the ditch-base

gonna have to
meld into
the hedgerow forts
- burrowed out of
boundaries

all the smokes were there

the porn mags
the fireworks

spent one whole summer

beating limbs with sticks
to make our many-year
paradise

i was never forced

to gag on the city

i was white
and only kinda poor

come in at dark
just to get flashlites

"back later, mom"

was all it took

i cry for this

chained generation

how do you find

the ghost
in the graveyard
with mommy
watching?

(you don't)
(you can't)
 56

rabid foxtail jailbait

like rabid
the foxtail
and jailbait
the sister

tramples
pathetic
the
way
to
no

this boardwalk messiah

her floozie batallions
the smiling gymnast
the hidden crack-pipe

i'd laugh
as you sleepwalk
in this snorefest

i'd laugh
at your sleepwalk
..if i could

you
ding-dong
wig-wam
doo-dah
hoo-hah
souls...

keep
crashing montana
derailing atlanta

your
jizzbot
geriatric
day-dreams

i knew
it was donewhen
cleanfaced entwhistle dudes
 57

dank with polecat

and reeking of
cougar spittle

got behind
the pulpit

with glee
of sly

their
blank
hearts
made
of
stone

[drones]
 58

random gelatin nookie caboose

keyhole
jazz-bitten
rigamarole
drifts
clam-style
from
humid collapse
of
deciduous lust

apple magnetic
asshole-screen
rotundas
stole
my
willy wonka
dust statues

klepto bootface
jiggled
my
toilet's
voodoo claptrap
into
retort stanzas

clever
trembling brigades
of
spasm memory
eject merrily
the
octopoid refuse
of
never
 59

to me

it's like being lost

on this huge dark ocean

& it keeps tossing

& turning
& you can't find balance
& sometimes
you can't even see shore

then you'll see

a faint tease of light
but you don't
know what it is
or if you can trust it

& you're afraid to hope

& get crushed again
& you're fighting
smothering mouthfuls
of salty water

like tears
that threaten to drown
your dreams in failure
drag you down
to worst pasts

but not even that

it's worse

also foggy
& you're sick

alone
& you can
hardly remember
ever being found
 60

less than three <3

i LOL
u BRB

but IRL
will never B

why can't
i find
the "any" key?

when 2 R 1
that's less than three
<3

less than three <3

OMG
you turn me on
ASAP

WYSIWYG
but all
we have
is internet

i LOL
u BRB

but IRL
will never B

why can't
i find
the "any" key?

when 2 R 1
that's less than three
<3
 61

this sibilant machine

this
sibilant machine
of liquid metal

like
a lizard diamond
a smoke pagoda

i'm not
your robot
now ends
your dynasty

fate descends now

like
tornado seizures

a moist weapon
in the
hidden face
of night

no longer
divine
we must
spill blood

a barbed wire hawk

birthed
this desert

its eyes
of shine
see into you

and you
cannot
hide
anymore
 62

number one

looming clouds
don't always rain
booming louds
increase the pain

explosive errors
scorch our smiles
extensive terrors
wreck our styles

looking out
for number one
you win the race
but have no fun

grooming shrouds
ignoring wife
dooming crowds
to after-life

expensive eager
hard to please
depressive beavers
chewing trees

i am fine
with number two
i get to finish
then i'm through
 63

no-thing

* POINT

The nonexistent IS NOT. Period. That is all we can say of

it. Say anything else & it is "existent". It is a *purely*
negative non-concept. Forget everything you know & that you
ever knew anything & that is....almost....NOthing. It is
NOT whatever you think it is - always.

The Tibetans call it the "Not That".

"Is it that?"
"Not That"

"How about this other thing?"

"Not That"

(Also strongly akin to the Japanese Zen concept of "Mu",

neither yes nor no, nor non-yes nor non-no)

* ANOTHER POINT

Sometimes it helps me (intellectually) to use the term VOID

instead of NOthing. That helps remove some mathematical
reflexes that can be unhelpful & gives more a sense of the
pregnant & vast nature of the nonexistent NOthing.

* NEXT POINT

Our very nervous systems & computers operate in binary,

essentially NOTHING/SOMETHING

The "essentially" in that sentence is paramount & the fact

that you noticed & mentioned it makes me think we're
catching wind of each other's gusts now.

Actually, even binary is THREE-valued. There is "yes",

there is "no" & there is "that question was never asked,
makes no sense, assumes the inactual - aka there is no
answer".
 64

We just don't store or acknowledge the state of the 3rd

value because it is the answer to the impossible question
that no one will ever ask.

For instance:
does Jenni have 3 apples?
Yes - she has 3 apples.

OK, but how many

dog-faced electric
rainbow spastic
nipple daemons does she have?
(for example)

What the fuck?

What does that mean?

The answer isn't ZERO, zero would dignify the question's

nonsensical assumptions.

That non-answer is NOthing.

NOthing is not zero; NOthing is "the machine that measures

zeros & ones is not turned on right now - please try again
later".

Nothing is not zero;

Nothing is NULL (mathematical),
NULL (programming),
NULL (computer filesystems, hierarchical organizations).

I have waxed poetic

but
NOthing is not prosaic

it's primacy
lets it dodge
all category
(by definition)
 65

trenchcoat nirvanas

dank dappled
+ damp romantic

the sweet untrampled

sap of the atlantic

tragic + comic
drink pina coladas

fight alien invasion

w/video bravados

dramas
+ traumas
w/out semi-commas

dreams
w/out seems
nor trenchcoat nirvanas

monitor madness
trumps
salvador gladness

let mad hatters dance

+ let rabbits
watch alice

i understand sarcasm
doesn't mean malice
 66

messages to home base

i send messages back to home base

but nobody replies
- ever

somebody keeps slipping

pictures
of spiders
in my grand-daughter's
emails

some sort of
cloaking device
in the arcane shields

they cannot build

a translator
universal enough
to let me
clearly hear
what this
droning somebody
keeps whispering in
my mind's
near ear

don't report me, sir

i'm just tired & worried
...sir

don't report me, sir

i'm just -
i'll go home immediately if you'll -

thank you
 67

this alley in your car

this alley in your car

so full of smoke & trash
you're sleeping in the past
& you've spent up all your cash

this bandaid on your scar

to hide your bloody shame
you're sleeping as you're walking
& who will take the blame

this picture of our smile

before the roof caved in
just makes me think again
some things should not begin

that ashtray in your soul

used to make me scream
because of what you did
you strangled your own dream

that closing door you heard

was my final word
i thought i was the fisherman
but i was the lured

my leaving has occurred

your memory obscured
of you-sick i am cured
your face is slowly blurred
 68

must

grabbing grasping
choking hope
squeezing clinging
cannot cope

chasing racing
nowhere fast
you can't escape
the past you thrashed

screaming crying
rant & rave
with all you've spent
what's left to save?

your word is shit

the outlook shady
far from a girl
not quite a lady

where you'll end up

no one knows

another jane doe

tag on toes
 69

the entire structure is broken

if we all chase money & advantage

even to the point of damage
to our human brothers,
we are animals

i can only clear the ground

and try to preserve the fruitful lines
as best as i can

all the malls will go down

but that's for those after me
all the malls will go down

serial killers can be the next revolutionaries

i challenge you fucking psychotics
to actually *DO* something about it
i'm tired of hearing it

expect to feel alone

be alone, die alone
but be human first

cause damage
leave statements to politicians
and
trust is gold
if you'll be fucking quiet
for just one moment

i'm so sorry to everyone i know

for the personal pain
i'll probably cause them
for historical purposes

i love us & our time

but also know that
this is not everything

can a million random mosquito bites

kill a large predator who threatens to kill us all?
we may find out
 70

the messiah told me

to attack the money
& to never kill
but he wasn't my messiah
so....

everything else
has been tried
& has failed

what has been missed?

what have we not done yet?
that's what we need to do

they let us say what we want

on the internet & the tv
because they know we've lost
the ability & the will
to do anything about it

they know we'll just

talktalktalk & feel better
& we won't do anything
about it

i'd like to prove them wrong

anybody wanna join me?

we'll meet at midnite.

 71

at first, it's dark

at first, it's dark

then grey, then

all i see is a figure

on a hill to my left
who appears to be
hanging
from the tangled tree

i hear distress
& run closer to help

she's female
& young
& struggling to escape furiously

but then i notice

it's her own hand
at her neck
her other hand
holding the rope

"just let go!"

i scream, confused

"it hurts!"
she cries
& resumes struggling

i try to pry
her fingers loose

but this girl is strong

& has herself
gripped tightly
white-knuckled

she looks at me
and sighs, drained

"i guess i'll just give up"

"it's stronger than me"

 72

i point again
to her own hand
holding the rope
holding her neck
holding herself ransom

i say
"you're doing it to yourself"
"and you can stop"

she laughs & says

"i wish it was that easy..."
 73

we growl like meat

we growl like meat

in this wet world
of flesh & fuck

the truth of bones

bleeding & bludgeons
mired deep in the muck

tortures, traps
& sacrificial lambs
gritty greasy squirming

all mouth & rage

this skin-cast cage
ragged dying churning
 74

sometimes i

with a switchblade for a mouth

& a timebomb in my name
i wander ever closer to
some sort of fucked-up fame

i never seem to feel the things

that others seem to know
but even if it's not my boat
they still will make me row

sometimes i whisper quietly

& sometimes i just shout
& sometimes i just shut right up
before they find me out

some people like to think aloud

that everything is fine
but their hair's on fire again
for the seventh time

all these things i sing about

& all the things i don't
some are things i really do
& some are things i won't

sometimes i just run around

sometimes i run amok
sometimes i run right out of gas
& right into bad luck

loaded like a six-shooter

& aiming for your head
i say that you should go to sleep
& then i steal your bed

don't think that i'm a meanie

or that i'm violent
it's just the way i tend to talk
when all the money's spent
 75

to all you living fuckers

well, alright
i'm dead
and i fucking did the wrong thing

didn't save when you said i should

some stupid fucking grasshopper corpse
in an anthill universe

so smug are you

in body live
w/flowing blood
and beating heart

if you only knew

who i was
and what i
WOULD HAVE DONE

if only
1
of you

soulless motherfuckers

had asked
sincerely

but OK
we made this deal
long ago

problem is
you didn't know what you traded
for nothing & hatred

you pretended to deny me

while my lack crippled you

why movies violent?

books of smut
of anger
of drugs & fear?
 76

because you have shunned your artists

ALL of them, all the REAL ones

and because they are REAL

even their smallest gesture resounds
regardless

in the culture denied

they resonate
from common source
their rebel springs
and sings

abhor the different

yet crave a crisis
& yield
disatisfaction
putrefaction
distraction

ideas keep it alive &

if even 1 of us live
you cannot win
you cannot win
 77

loaded

i don't even want to enter

the secret caverns
of this world's body

i'm too hungry to ever lose

these eyes again

where can i go
w/out the ugly price of blindness?

some days i feel like i'm talking to myself

...in from inside of nowhere

memory fails- it skips

a wheelbeat on the consious gear

i remember observing
but some vague slice
of the core
jumps behind me
before i get too close

if i really try
i can see my back
on the horizon

don't freeze with fear

when shadows are traced back
to the rising sun

how can i fire the shot

heard 'round the world?
 78

clobber

striving to clobber
or hear at last
the words of tuneless song
in surfaces, seeds & globes

inside this auditorium i am

endeavoring in it's heat
to purchase some agreement
or contract or handshake
something

bland can hide inside

your mindful watching
like dogs in trees
will capture their attention
and tomorrow
they vote

somber grinding ooze

from inside
that fleshy window

moments track the knowing

in mazes of world-world-world.....
 79

you children of loud

tarot all-stars & the smash of triumph

all that harem glitter & stars instead

respect enshrined in sandy dalliance

as street-kissers fuck images of lead

i'm tired of having to carry this head

these legs of iron that stumble askew

whipcrack messiahs & their pithy kin

exploding like myths in the dead of knight

sparking like neitzsche in full dresden mourning

clock-faced twits w/imbecile shoes

spry gloss madonnas cavort in babylon

with scamp tramp scarves for guillotine thongs

this lip murder shoeshine exposes mirth

busts vegetable glass golems into lunar shards

this time shows last time it's ass

by turning up the volume w/out notice
and toilet-papers your ideas w/revolution
and shining stiletto ideas that stab the dull

last show went critical - no way out

everyone died, but they wanna do it in chicago too

no way that blood gristle feast of fuckery

could hoodwink these black mariahs & all our views

ambivalent & half-drunk the hero consumes himself

with relish & leaves a tip of words, stories
vague arrows in the forests of this night
all fright hides insight
 80

there are places i walk daily

that you have never seen
things i think daily
that your ideas never glean

my secret is only truth

& i laugh at your grasping

you children of loud

screaming your questions
that send rainbows
even to die
 81

tastee kn0tsense

take 5 shots 0f chuck's n0rris

p0ur them in your ears
1isten f0r the s0und 0f
r0undh0use wizdumb

chase d0wn bigf00t>>

sm0ther him w\kittens
at dawn
in plaid si1ence

KICK - yes,
kick + kick again
the g00ey heads
0f ketchup a1iens
their infant n0ggins
swaying
in the tree'z
breeze

this ain't nebraska: dimwit

d0n't try n0 medu11a 0b10ngata here!

we scurry then + g1isten 10ud1y

pr0c1aiming g10ry
s1anting weird1y

amb1e then,
numb1y + amp1y
then,
d0ne!
 82

smash head cider blues

coasting neverstill in hard-on leather

repeating in borrowed clipped speech his sister

breaks walls, boasting cigarettes in pockets w/names

scribbled, postmarked in blood w/union

asking for their story, groovy that we drink

all the stores full of kroger pizza

hunched in tiny cars dank w/magic

as the radio blurts the terms we recite in passing

...yeah, the breeze w/cans a-rattled since kennedy...

scrunch over that way if boss-man's real, or failing

ask for a rate real reasonable like buddha got for free

& broken down from training all the stamp mines we reflect
"it's sad", he said congealed all to hell & silly

common to taste the electric - and washington wept

in three-hundred three separate colors of black

gotta get ahold of my wife, her titmouse-type head w/spokes

move faster where even einstein flipped out on it
w/nowhere to go too close

retiring with minimum mushroom watchword hoedown

setup window wise towards him, watching sadly
dim glass tricks reflecting serenity
 83

b a l m

cheap stem of an airplane duped riding convalescent

mother-of-all-trades slamming st.peter with the nasty
artichoke whip & all their salad

bee-bopping like satin gluttons headfirst into squadcar

nirvana with the nicotine underwear racing through the
middle of church during midnite mass

we sure tried & then did hop with Jehosaphat bleating his
napalm abandon about wrenches that gleam with the crusty,
the ones left outside for the neighborhood squirrels to
build their armada

they wheel around & search like limp for the catchpan & the
sequoia ballglove, but of these their sheriff could only
wanna piss like junior & always in that tone of smell

so she had thought it bad & after nevermind was repeated

one thousand trembling times afterward, the loop caught the
back of her once-round head in ghost potatoes with eyes of
halloween ice

oh shit! i screamed with puppy eloquence & whine dripping,

it was all the stairs & then door & then turn on the candle
like ma used to with her armpit messiah cantrips & the
fabulous ambulance radiance

can't walk straight so naked is my drunk sweating in grass

& spinning

i taste her collapse in my ragged sweater's ripping so

real, then silent with the gaze of thieves

why these fingers that twist in the wind with grips of

manilla holding folders as sailboat rudders that could
outsail me, me with my caramel host in this, the final
hallway?
 84

no longer will they merely prowl

these thoughts-
no longer will they
merely prowl
like ragged jaguars

skulk and pout

'neath willows weeping

try to slice
the meat of meaning
in two
for mute history's page

pain dreams of nerves

babies seeking mothers

-explosions!
-exclamations!

fate's sick bleating

pricking these conclusions
into existence

just slither inside here

hang out - not up

visions visions everywhere

yet none that thought
can think
 85

tv-speed frenzy

i'm gearing up
for a tv-speed frenzy

my limping life's
gonna rip through the finish line
at the numbing speed of media hype

i'll crash - yes

but my mortal meat will scream loud
into earlobe, microphone, tv @ home

slashing all predicted frequencies

with raw wattage
a volcanic solution
of blood & semen & tears

i'm more than just revved up

for the howl of quicksilver wind
whipping though the bulletproof windows
of this frame

i'm hyped
i'm worldly-wise
and famous
...
i'm dead
.
 86

Death
always gets
the last word
.