Ramsey 1

David Ramsey

Malcolm Campbell

English 1104-004

April 4, 2018

Two of a Kind, I Think Not: Why Are Siblings Similar or Not

The Olympic Movement was sparked by Pierre de Coubertin, in Paris, on a

winter’s evening in 1892 when he proclaimed the re-establishment of the Olympic Games

(“PyeongChang 2018”). Since then, there have been twenty-eight Summer Olympic Games in

twenty-three cities and twenty-three Winter Olympic Games in twenty cities with the movement

continuing still today (“List of Olympic Games host cities”; “PyeongChang 2018”). According

to the Olympic Organization from their website article “Pyeongchang,” the International

Olympic Committee came into existence on June 23, 1894. The first Olympics took place in

Athens, Greece on April 26, 1896. In 1924 in Chamonix, France, the first winter Olympic sport

began: ice hockey. Overtime, more than fifty-nine events have been added (Cooney; “The

Olympic Games”).

Recently, the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang County, South Korea regarding ice

hockey, birth witness to two sisters playing ice hockey while representing two different countries

(Jacobson). This wonderful story is just one of the many stories that developed at the 2018

Winter Games, but this was the story in which captured my attention the greatest. Hannah, for

Team USA, and older sister, Marissa, for the unified Korean team, are the daughters of an

American couple, Greg and Robin Brandt (Jacobson). Marissa from South Korea was adopted by

the Brandt family when she was just four months old (Jacobson). She has always played the

sport of ice hockey and so has her sister (Jacobson). However, Marissa did wear a jersey that has
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her Korean name, Yoonjung, and hopes that it will trigger her birth mother to come forward

(Jacobson). When asked what she would say to her birth mother, she expressed that she would

just want to thank her for putting her up for adoption (Jacobson). In addition, she is thankful for

the parents she does have (Jacobson). What intrigued me the most about this compelling story

was the fact that Hannah made the comment that her and her sister have been playing on the

same team pretty much every year growing up together as well as Marissa’s comments on what

she would want to say to her birth mother touched me deeply (Jacobson). This heartwarming

story obviously began to make me reflect on my own sibling bonds that I have with my two

sisters, Suzanna and Samantha. With the aid of this story and my own reflections, the simple

question of why siblings are similar or not was conceived. But more importantly to me, was why

are me and my sisters the same in some areas and completely different in other areas. For

example, I love mixed martial arts, but my sister does not.

Oh Suzanna!

On an early, and I do mean early, morning of the sixth, in the hot month of July, in the

year of 1984, I was introduced not only to my mother and father but to the world, it’s a boy.

Conveniently, I was the first addition, that was until 1985, in the month of September, on the

fifteenth day, when I was introduced to my baby sister, Suzanna. Even though I was only a one

year old at that point and definitely did not know the true ramifications of that meeting, I am sure

I understood or soon would have, that the game had changed in the Ramsey household. Growing

up in the Ramsey household was short lived to say the least. My loving parents sadly divorced

when I was four and my sister was three so most of my memories that I have from my younger

years are of having parents living in two different homes. However, my mother remarried a

couple of years later to my stepfather who has to this day, been a father to my sister and I.
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Unfortunately for my father, it would be awhile before he tied the knot again which did not occur

until I was twenty-one. The marriage would unite my sister and I, who were much older, with a

step brother and step sister as well as a half-sister named Samantha. The marriage did not last

though, so I will only be evaluating the sibling bond that exist between Samantha, Suzanna, and

myself. Given the ages of myself and Suzanna, we did not live in a family setting with our step

brother and step sister, thus I would have not established a quantified experience level with them

to develop a true sibling bond to evaluate. From the up and down, good and egregious, calm and

tumultuous, roller-coaster ride we call sibling bonds, I know and still know, that my sisters, just

as I will, will always have each other’s back. Throughout this exploratory essay, I will utilize the

knowledge that I learned to examine my own sibling bonds to determine why siblings are similar

or not.

The Landscape

Unfortunately, sibling bonds have not adequately been researched due to the wide

accepted point of view from early scientists that siblings are fungible meaning a genetic

commodity (“Science Looks At The Sibling Effect”). In simpler words, everyone has one mother

and one father but can have more than one sibling suggesting that the parent to child bond is

more important to the development of a child than the applicability of their sibling bond (Kluger

7). Because of the neglected area of sibling bonds, it was not taken serious by scientists until

approximately fifteen years ago (“The sibling bond”). Naturally, psychologists, sociologists,

anthropologists, biologists, and even zoologists began to study the dynamic bond between

siblings from a genetic, sociological, and psychological point of views (Kluger 12). For example,

after a sand tiger shark mates, a mother shark will release the fertilized eggs into her womb

where they will hatch (Kluger 17). Once the babies have teeth, the strongest baby will feed on
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the others until there is only one baby remaining in the womb which the mother will continue to

release eggs to feed that one baby until the baby is born (Kluger 18). Lucky for us, humans are

different in that aspect because we as babies come into this world very helpless and open for

attack. If our mothers and fathers acted like that of the animal kingdom, the humankind may very

well not be here.

According to Jeffrey Kluger, there are a myriad of environmental factors that complicate

researching the dynamic sibling bonds such as age differences, geography, culture, birth order,

education and a plethora of more (Kluger 8). To efficiently evaluate my own sibling bonds, I will

be utilizing only four environmental factors which are age difference, gender difference, income,

and birth order. These four environmental factors I have chosen represents the greatest

differences in how my sisters and I were raised. In addition, I will be utilizing four theoretical

psychologically oriented perspectives as lenses in which to view the environmental factors that

impact my sibling bonds which are psychoanalytic-evolutionary, social psychological, social

learning, and family-ecological systems.

Environmental Factors

To begin my tedious, yet exciting journey, I first had to establish exactly what the sibling

bond is, which turns out is a sibling dyad constellation (Whiteman et al. 132). A dyad simply

defines a relationship between two people such as a brother and sister (Whiteman et al. 132). To

get an idea of just how many dyads can exist within a family, let’s look at the famous Kennedy

family who had nine children which resulted in fifty-five different dyads (“The sibling bond”).

Since I understood what my sibling bond could be defined as, I started investigating

environmental factors which are those factors from your surroundings such as a sibling or where

you live that effects an individual in any way (Whiteman et al. 135). Given the complexity and
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the almost unsurmountable number of factors that contribute to a child as they navigate through

this world, it is understandable that I chose only four. Most of these environmental factors are

self-explanatory, such as age and gender difference, however, I will define birth order which

means the order in which you were born in relation to your siblings. Birth order is so profound

that twenty-one of the first twenty-three astronauts were either firstborns or only children

(“Science Looks At The Sibling Effect”). Typically, firstborns display the characteristic traits of

being reliable, conscientious, structured, cautious, controlling, and achievers (Voo). A middle

child is prone to have the characteristic traits of being people-pleasers, somewhat rebellious,

thrives on friendships, has a large social circle, and peacemaker (Voo). The last born will usually

exhibit the characteristics of being fun-loving, uncomplicated, manipulative, outgoing, attention-

seeker, and self-centered (Voo). Finally, an only child will encompass the characteristic traits of

being mature for their age, perfectionists, conscientious, diligent, and leaders (Voo). There is an

exception to these rules which is in the case of twins due to them operating as a family within a

family and are often perceived as a single unit (Voo). After reviewing these characteristics, I can

see that I, as being the firstborn, do posses a lot of those firstborn traits as well as my sisters

displaying the characteristic traits for their perspective birth order. For me, my baby sister,

Samantha, fits almost perfectly with the last-born characteristics, however, Suzanna does not fit

into the mold of the middle child but acts more like a firstborn.

That curiosity as to why Suzanna did not lead me to my next environmental factor which

is gender differences. Gender difference plays an important role to sibling bonds as well and

breaks into mixed gender dyads or same gender dyads (Whiteman et al. 127). I share a mixed

dyad with my sisters which explains why Suzanna did not have all those characteristic traits from

the middle or last born because she is the first girl born in our family. For example, if my sister
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would have been another boy than that potential infinitesimal difference would have changed

how we interacted because she would have exhibited the characteristic traits of the middle born

or last born. In general boys tend to be more pugilistic than girls (“Science Looks At The Sibling

Effect”).

Next, I wanted to know how the age difference affected my sibling bonds due to Suzanna

and I only being a little over a year a part and Samantha and I having a more significant age

difference of twenty-one years. Age difference dictates that the less amount of a gap results in

more of a rivalry between siblings and if there is a large amount of a gap the older sibling will

take on the role of an aunt or uncle (Voo; Kluger). According to Kluger, studies have found that

over ninety percent of small children fight over somebody touching, playing with, and looking at

the other person’s stuff (“The sibling bond”). In my case, that explains why growing up with

Suzanna, we always fought over who was the best at whatever the task was and why I act more

like an uncle to Samantha.

The next environmental factor that I will discuss is income, more importantly, the income

of a two-parent family and a single parent home and the effects it has on the children. According

to Berlin, about a third of all children born in the United States each year are born out of wedlock

and about half of all first marriages end in divorce (2). Those staggering numbers leave a

multitude of children living in a single-parent household which tends to be poor (Berlin 2). Not

to say that a child will necessarily be better off living in a two-parent household but on average

they will be better on a wide range of social indicators (Berlin 2). The reason I chose income as

an environmental factor is due to my parents divorcing when my sister and I were very young.

On a couple of occasions, I prompted to live with my father and from those experiences I can

truly say I understand the struggle of a single-parent. Additionally, low-income families such as
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a single-parent family has less resources to deal with life’s challenge (Berlin 6). I saw the

difference in how I lived versus how my sister lived. Suzanna did not have to worry about

clothing, food, and responsibilities as much as I did. For example, I made sure I was up in the

morning to catch the bus as well as make myself some food when I got home but I would not

change anything about the way I grew up. Those circumstances created the man that I see

reflecting in the mirror back at me.

Before moving onto the four theoretical psychologically oriented perspectives that I will

be utilizing to solve the rest of the mystery that is my sibling bonds, I want to address why the

deidentification process and favoritism was not mentioned. The deidentification process is the

process in which siblings develop different qualities and select different niches as a way of

maximizing resources from parents thus, reducing the level of competition (McHale et al. 915).

Favoritism needs not to be define, we all know it well. However, Kluger cites a study that found

seventy percent of fathers and sixty-five percent of mothers exhibit a preference for at least one

child (“The sibling bond”). The reason for their exclusion was due to the overlapping area

between a sibling dyad constellation and the dyadic relationship with a parent. Additionally, it

will insure that my message is received as to what my purpose was which is to find the answer to

why siblings are similar or not.

Theoretical Perspectives

Upon learning the wide array of environmental factors, my question became how these

factors operate, coexist, and how may I implement the concepts into my world. The four

theoretical psychologically oriented perspectives that I will be utilizing are psychoanalytic-

evolutionary, social psychological, social learning, and family-ecological systems. I will utilize

the theoretical perspectives as a lens to examine the environmental factors discussed earlier.
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Psychoanalytic-evolutionary perspective focus on species-typical patterns of behavior due to

attachment and the survival function of social behavior (Whiteman et al. 125). Under this

perspective there will be two theories that I will discuss which are the attachment theory and

Adler’s theory. Attachment theory which is rooted in the writings of John Bowlby attempts to

explain developmental changes, mainly individual differences, in social relationships (Whiteman

et al. 125). Over the period of an infants first year, an attachment relationship forms with a

caregiver (Whiteman et al. 125). Then in the second year uses that caregiver and other members

such as a sibling, as a secure base to return to in their time of need (Whiteman et al. 125). Due to

the fragile condition a dyad is, children’s relationships good or egregious with the caregiver sets

the stage for the qualities of their sibling relationships (Whiteman et al. 125). Adler’s theory

focuses on the important role of external social influences on personality development

(Whiteman et al. 128). One of the key concepts in Adler’s theory was the inferiority complex

which put social comparisons and power dynamics in families at the central of defining one’s

self (Whiteman et al. 128). Social psychological perspective looks at how others influence one

another and their motives (Whiteman et al. 130). Of special interest in this perspective, is the

social comparison theory which was proposed by Leon Festinger in the 1950s (Whiteman et al.

130). The social comparison theory stats that individuals are motivated to evaluate themselves

based on how they measure up against others, especially with those that are viewed as like

themselves (Whiteman et al. 130). Social learning theories suggest a gained behavior through

observing others (Whitman et al. 130). The principles of observational learning propose that

family members are important models for social learning if they are warm and nurturing

(Whiteman et al. 132). Through the act of observing the interactional styles of other family

members a child learns social concepts (Whiteman et al. 132). Finally, family-ecological systems
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view families as independent elements that are always in flux with each other, extended families,

and their surroundings (Whiteman et al. 134). The principles of family system theory hold that

families must be studied as complete systems (Whiteman et al. 134). Within this theory, families

are separated into a hierarchy, then separated into different dyads, and then viewed as

interdependent, reciprocating influential subsystems (Whiteman et al. 134).

Bringing It All Together

After gathering the information about the theoretical perspectives, a vivid picture began

to materialize and with that picture came a level of understanding. The environmental factors are

heavily embedded into the theoretical perspectives as much as the theoretical perspectives give

almost a value to the environmental factors. The two elements dancing in a circle in constant

motion as they overlap and flux upon each other. By utilizing the environmental factors and

theoretical perspectives that I have discussed, it becomes clear why the two-aforementioned

sisters that played ice hockey in the 2018 Winter Olympics have the sibling dyad constellation

that they do as well as my own. However, I would like to add some points of my own to the

conversation such as there should be greater attention and research dedicated towards the sibling

dyad constellation. In addition, that research should represent a greater representation of ethnic

groups in their studies. According to McHale et al., much less is known about the ways siblings

contribute to each other in a positive development in ethnic minority families (919). Moreover,

there needs to be a logical and ethical approach to get solid data on the full spectrum of sibling

bonds.

Reflection

Reflecting upon the ponderous quantity of information that I was able to find on the

sibling dyad constellation I can efficiently answer the question why my sisters and I have the
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bond that we have. For example, due to the small age difference between Suzanna and myself,

lead to a sibling rivalry which displays the key concept of the Adler’s theory which is inferiority

complex. Another example, is one that involves the overlapping areas of two environmental

factors which are gender difference and birth order regarding myself and Suzanna. Birth order

would suggest that I have certain characteristic traits as the firstborn, but she has some of those

same traits, but gender difference explains why we share some of those same traits. If the gender

of my sister was different than my childhood would have been extremely different. Who would

have thought that something so small as gender would have had a ripple effect that would have

not only changed our lives but also changed the countless lives that make up our world. For

example, our younger sister, mother, father, stepfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and the people of

the world that we have directly or indirectly met. From this research I have gained a much deeper

understanding and a greater appreciation for the siblings that I have and would not change them

in any way. In addition, through this analyzing process I will be able to repair any bumps that

may arise in the future and in the further future, my own children. To conclude in the words of

Jeffrey Kluger, “There may be no relationship that effects us more profoundly, that’s closer,

finer, harder, sweeter, happier, sadder, more filled with joy or fraught with woe than the

relationship we have with our brothers and sisters” (“The sibling bond”).
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