AUDITION

PACKET
Dearly Departed
By David Bottrell and Jessie Jones
Directed by John Hardaway
AUDITIONS: Sunday, April 22 and Monday, April 23 at 7:00 PM (with possible call backs)
**Please note casting may take 1-2 weeks, a cast list will be posted to the Hayswood Theater Facebook page. Those cast will be
notified by text and must confirm their acceptance within 24 hours. Everyone who auditions will receive a cast list by email immediately
after casting is finalized. Feel free to contact the director for further information.

WHAT DO I NEED FOR AUDITIONS?: Auditions will consist of a cold read from the script. Sample pages are
attached. Actors should think about a Southern or Redneck accent. Bring your completed audition form and conflict
sheet found at the back of this packet with you to auditions. If you have not worked for me before, please
bring a photo - anything from a professional 8 x 10 headshot to a “selfie”. I just need something to help put a face
with a name on an audition sheet.

REHEARSAL & PERFORMANCE INFORMATION:
Rehearsals will run from May 7 - May 31 and June 18 - July 12 on Monday, Tuesday & Thursday evenings.
Performances will be held: July 13 - 29

ABOUT THE SHOW:

In the Baptist backwoods of the Bible Belt, the beleaguered Turpin family proves that living and dying in the
South are seldom tidy and always hilarious. Despite their earnest efforts to pull themselves together for their fa-
ther's funeral, the Turpin's other problems keep overshadowing the solemn occasion: Firstborn Ray-Bud drinks
himself silly as the funeral bills mount; Junior, the younger son, is juggling financial ruin, a pack of no-neck
monster kids, and a wife who suspects him of infidelity in the family car; their spinster sister, Delightful, copes
with death as she does life, by devouring junk food; and all the neighbors add more than two cents. As the situa-
tion becomes fraught with mishap, Ray-Bud says to his long-suffering wife, "When I die, don't tell nobody. Just
bury me in the backyard and tell everybody I left you." Amidst the chaos, the Turpins turn for comfort to their
friends and neighbors, an eccentric community of misfits who just manage to pull together and help each other
through their hours of need, and finally, the funeral.
 CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS
(Please note some roles may be combined and or cut)

MEN

BUD TURPIN (Mid 60’s): An elderly man

RAY-BUD (Mid 30’s): He is Bud’s elder son and is married to Lucille. As the only sibling with a paying
job (He’s a mechanic who works for Clyde’s Auto Repair and Body Shop), Ray-Bud is saddled with the
responsibility of paying for his father’s funeral. Needless to say, he’s resentful. He hates funerals, and
while he loves his family, he wishes they would just go away. Nevertheless, he’s determined to get the
job done, even if it means taking a drink or two to get through it all.

JUNIOR (Early 30’s): He is Ray-Bud’s younger brother, and is married to Suzanne. Like her, he is a
dreamer, but he’s a failed entrepreneur, and his dreams have gone sour. He has recently had an affair
(in the Kmart parking lot) and must try to make amends to his angry wife.

ROYCE (Late 20’s): He is Marguerite’s younger son, unmarried, and unemployed. His dream is to live
on welfare and do as little as possible. He must cope with his difficult, judgmental mother, and fights
back as best he can. He’s not the world’s brightest guy, but there’s something likeable about him.

REVEREND HOOKER (Any age): Although he tries to be diplomatic, he feels over-worked and put-
upon by his difficult flock. He’s given to platitudes. He has an embarrassing attack of Montezuma’s
revenge at the funeral!

CLYDE (Mid 30’s): He is Ray-Bud’s boss and owner of Clyde’s Auto Repair and Body Shop. He’s a
loyal good ol’ boy, eager to help Ray-Bud get revenge on Cecil DePew, owner of the funeral parlor.

NORV AL (late 70’s): An ancient man with every illness under the sun who speaks only in grunts

WOMEN

RAYNELLE (Mid 60’s): She is the widow of Bud Turpin and mother of Ray-Bud, Junior and
Delightful. She’s a basically nice woman, religious, diplomatic, and eager to keep the peace with her
difficult family members. She is not at all sorry that her husband has died, since they haven’t gotten
along for 36 of their 39 years of marriage. She is funny in an ironic sort of way.
LUCILLE (Mid 30’s): She is Ray-Bud’s wife. Her one great sorrow is that they are childless, due to her
numerous miscarriages. She is a down-to-earth, no-nonsense woman with a sense of humor who steps up
and takes charge of the funeral arrangements while trying to keep Ray-Bud and the rest of the family on
an even keel.

SUZANNE (Early 30’s): She is married to Junior and mother to a bunch of impossible children. She
imagines herself to be a wonderful singer (but isn’t). She imagined her life with Junior would be wildly
romantic, but it has turned out to be deeply disappointing, and she never lets Junior forget it. She is
highly emotional, nervous, and given to headaches. She loves being the center of attention. Although
he’s been unfaithful, deep down, she loves her husband. (MUST SING)

MARGUERITE (50’s): She is Bud’s younger sister and mother of Royce (and another son who is in
jail). She is very worried about Royce’s lack of motivation and his Godless ways. She is also very
religious, judgmental, and a holier-than-thou, bossy nag, but she actually means well. (MUST SING)

DELIGHTFUL (Early 20’s): She is Raynelle’s and Bud’s youngest child (She was a “surprise” baby!).
Obese (or played as high metabolism) and virtually silent, she deals with her sorrows by eating
constantly. She is probably not too bright. Although she has little to say, she’s very funny!

NADINE (Late 20’s): She shows up for the viewing and funeral. She has been married multiple times,
has eight children, all of whom are named for celebrities, and is very pregnant with number nine. She
may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but she’s a tremendous talker!

JUANITA (early 30’s): She is a cousin-by-marriage to the Turpins. Stylish, sophisticated, and catty,
she has made the only “good” marriage of the bunch, a fact she never fails to rub the other women’s
noses in, but secretly, her marriage is crumbling.

VEDA (70’s): Another family friend, Veda is married to Norval and is his primary caregiver. Despite
having to care for her husband’s many needs, she is cheerful, upbeat, and a great talker.

THE JOY OF LIFE SINGERS: This mixed chorus appears in two scenes and must be able to sing
without accompaniment. Need at least three, but will double as other parts. (OBVIOUSLY, MUST
SING)
 Part Offered:_______________________ Accepted: Y N Audition No. _____________

HAYSWOOD THEATRE
Audition Form

No roles have been pre-cast. You must be available for all rehearsals & performances unless
prior arrangements have been made with and approved by the director.

NEATNESS COUNTS! I must be able to read this!

Date: _______________________________________ E-mail: _____________________________________

Name: ______________________________________ Home Phone: (___) __________________________

Address:____________________________________ Work Phone: (___) __________________________

City: ________________________ Zip __________ Cell Phone: (___) ____________________________

Age: _______________ Gender: ____________ Height (without shoes): _________________

Part(s) you would like to be considered for: __________________________________________________
Part(s) you will not accept: _________________________________________________________________
Are you involved in another show at this time? ______________
Hayswood is always looking for volunteers for technical crew, ushering, set construction,
painting, etc. Can we call on you to volunteer in the future? Yes No

Previous Performance Experience

(Complete or attach a resume)

Part Play Director Theatre Group Year

-------------------- DO NOT WRITE BELOW THIS LINE --------------------

 Conflict Sheet
BRING TO AUDITIONS!

IMPORTANT! Draw an “X” through any date that you can not attend rehearsal or write your
time of arrival if you will be late. Rehearsals will be Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings
from 7:00 to about 9:30. The first rehearsal, cast meeting and read-through is scheduled for
Monday, May 7, 2018.
PERFORMANCE TIMES: Fridays & Saturdays; July 13, 14, 20, 21, 27 & 28 at 8 PM
Sundays; May 15, 22 & 29 at 2 PM

You must keep these dates available!

YOU MUST BE AVAILABLE FOR READ-THROUGH, ALL PERFORMANCES

AND TECH./DRESS REHEARSALS!

SUN MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT

May 7 May 8 May 9 May 10 May 11 May 12

May 13 May 14 May 15 May 16 May 17 May 18 May 19

May 20 May 21 May 22 May 23 May 24 May 25 May 26

May 27 May 28 May 29 May 30 May 31 June 1 June 2

June 3 June 4 June 5 June 6 June 7 June 8 June 9

June 10 June 11 June 12 June 13 June 14 June 15 June 16

June 17 June 18 June 19 June 20 June 21 June 22 June 23

June 24 June 25 June 26 June 27 June 28 June 29 June 30

July 1 July 2 July 3 July 4 July 5 July 6 July 7

July 8 July 9 July 10 July 11 July 12 July 13 July 14
TECH TECH DRESS T.B.A. DRESS SHOW SHOW
July 15 July 19 July 20 July 21
July 16 July 17 July 18
SHOW Brush-up SHOW SHOW
July 22 July 27 July 28
July 23 July 24 July 25 July 26
SHOW SHOW SHOW
July 29
SHOW
No rehearsals are scheduled for the shaded dates. Do not be concerned about these.
SIGNATURE: ____________________________________ DATE: ___________________
PRINTED NAME: ________________________________________