Last Name 1

Michelle Campos

Professor Batty

English 28

01 May 2018

Revised Reflection

The first of many corrections I made in my essay were to fix my run-on sentences. I made an

error in the beginning where I mentioned the name of the book and author, later in the same

paragraph I mentioned a quote and restated the authors name when I easily could have just said

the authors last name. I received feedback that my research was not said probably therefore I

went back and did my research again not only on one but all 3 of my topics. I discovered more

information and eliminated the basics of each topic and spoke more in depth about each. As if

the reader has never heard of the topics such as child brides, female castration and female

hygiene globally. I had to remember that my audience might be new or uncomfortable to these

topics, so I removed a few powerful words yet not enough to remove my message. I was not

satisfied with my introduction therefore removed a few words and phrases, I did the same with

my conclusion and took this opportunity to improve. Instead of just summarizing everything I

said. I remembered that I needed to answer the question as to why I think my topics are

important. I wanted to leave the reader wanting more and doing research to learn more. My work

cited page was not formatted correctly so I went back and fix that as well.