Lopez 1

Ashly Lopez

Professor Batty

English 101

4 June 2018

Ethnographic Reflection

This Ethnographic Essay is about explaining what Los Angeles means to us. And to me,

it means diversity. So my essay is about how much multiculturalism exists in this city. In my

original essay I did not include a counter-argument so that’s something that I fixed when

working on my revised essay. I stated that some people may not see diversity as something good

because of the amount of hate that exists and how people look down upon these cultures that

have immigrated from other countries to this one. Also, I deleted and added some new

paragraphs because some ideas got too repetitive. So I added new ideas that would back up my

thesis statement. In my original essay I had a quote but I didn’t really explain it that much so for

my revised essay I tried to. I also fixed the title of this essay because the original one didn’t make

sense. “La La Land of Diversity” gives the reader a sense that this essay is going to be about

diversity. I had to expand my conclusion as well. So in a few sentences I paraphrased my thesis

statement again. In my original essay I didn’t have 4 full pages so with adding and deleting some

paragraphs my revised essay is six full pages. Some of my ideas of the movie didn’t connect to

how L.A shows diversity because those ideas were irrelevant. So I kept the ideas of how the film

expressed diversity and some of the flaws the film had. Lastly, I revised my sentences so they

wouldn’t come out to be run on sentences.