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12 CHOICES...

That Lead to Your Success

Author: David Cottrell


Publisher: CornerStone Leadership Institute
Date of Publication: 2005
ISBN : 0 9762528 1 3
No. of Pages: 134 pages

About the Author Wisdom in a Nutshell


Most people view success as being at the right place at the right time, or
mainly because of luck, or something that has been passed on to them by
their ancestors. But in reality, though these may help, success is ultimately
the consequence of making the right choices.
David Cottrell
David Cottrell is a premier authority
The choices that people make can only lead them in either of two directions:
on leadership and an internationally closer to or further from the success they are trying to achieve. Success, in
known speaker, author and business
executive. His 25-plus years of
whatever form, is dependent on the good choices that one makes, and the
professional experience are reflected avoidance of the bad choices.
in more than 20 highly acclaimed
books, in his programs and
presentations, and in the success of There is not much difference between a highly successful individual and a
h i s c o m p a n y, C o r n e r S t o n e
Leadership Institute.
not-so-successful person, except for the choices they decide to makeor not
make. With these choices, one takes control of his or her success.
David knows leadership firsthand.
With a degree in Marketing from the
University of Arkansas, he joined Every single moment of a person's life requires him or her to make a choice,
Xerox Corporation, where he became
at age 24 one of the youngest sales
from the simplest to the most complicated. And for one to make good
managers in the company’s history. choices, it requires his or her utmost attention, until making good choices
After a decade with Xerox, David
spent ten years with FedEx in various
becomes a subconscious habit.
leadership roles. He was named to
the President’s Club each year he was Fortunately, it is never too late to learn or start making good choices.
with the organization and is, to this
day, the only person to have been
selected

District Manager of the Year for two


consecutive years. David’s leadership
achievements were the result of his
focus on training and development
and his belief that he could expect the
best from people by investing in
them.

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12 CHOICES By David Cottrell

Introduction up to the person, whether one will let him or herself


What differentiates successful people from the rest? become a victim, or if he or she will rise up.

It is not being at the right place at the right time, or Once the choice to positively and proactively deal
being born in the right family, or having everything with the unexpected has been made, then it is
come their way. Successful people are willing to important for one to keep on moving forward, one
make choices that other people would rather not step in front of the other.
make.
Not everything that happens is a person's doing.
The twelve different choices presented by David Certain situations may be caused by external factors,
Cottrell can be grouped into three major choices: (1) and are mostly beyond a person's control. What is in
Character choices; (2) Action choices; and (3) one's hands is the way he or she will react to the
Investment choices. situation.

Character choices are those that help make a


successful person but at the same time, these are the
choices that are not seen by other people. These
choices are known only by the person making the
The unexpected almost always happens.
decisions. Under this category fall the No-Victim It is just a matter of knowing how to deal
Choice, the Commitment Choice, the Values Choice,
and the Integrity Choice. with such occurrences.
Action choices are those that help a person actually
move in the direction of success, which include the
To-Do Something Choice, the Persistence Choice, There are three things that one can do in order to
the Attitude Choice, and the Adversity Choice. make the no-victim choice:
! Expect the unexpected.
Investment choices are those choices that help one ! Look for alternatives.
attain the rewards of their success. Included here ! Spend time and energy looking for solutions,
are the Relationship Choice, the Criticism Choice, not excuses.
the Reality Choice, and the Legacy Choice.

It is important to understand each of the twelve


choices individually and collectively, in order to fully Chapter 2: The Commitment Choice
comprehend how all these lead to one's success.
Staying committed to a decision one has made
requires passion, because with a passionate
commitment to achieve something or reach a certain
goal, one will go at great lengths.
Chapter 1: The No-Victim Choice
The unexpected almost always happens. It is just a In order to make more progress, it helps to surround
matter of knowing how to deal with such one's self with people who choose to be passionately
occurrences. Whatever happens to an individual, it committed, as individuals have a tendency to feed off
is much more important to learn how to react in similar people.
certain situations.
Certain, or rather most, people refuse to believe that
Success is not a one-time deal. It is an ongoing one person can make a difference; that as an
process, and most definitely includes ups and individual, a person has enough power in his or her
downs. hands. More than anything, it is important for one to
Everyone will fall into the victim trap. It is a natural give what was previously thought as impossible a
and almost instinctive reaction. But the choice is still

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12 CHOICES By David Cottrell

shot, because one will never really know until one understand why they have become enemies in the
has tried. first place.

First, one makes the choice to commit him or The old adage, "Birds of the same feather, flock
herself. Then, one invests his or her time, energy, together" and "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell
money, and everything else needed to achieve his you who you are," are both true in more ways than
or her goal. The keyword here is sacrifice. one. It is important to choose carefully the people in
one's life because they can affect a person
Individuals who are passionately committed do what immensely, whether positively or negatively.
they say they'll do; they walk the talk. They see
themselves achieve their goals, because not only do Just as one should give much thought in choosing his
they just sit down and make plans; but they actually or her friends, it is just as important to choose one's
go about their plans. They do not make grand enemies carefully, because just like the former, a bad
promises and deliver things half-baked. Though choice can be devastatingly crucial to one's success
failure is not in their vocabulary, they are not hard on or failure.
themselves when they fall short; rather, they use
these as stepping stones to make themselves better
individuals that make better choices.

There are three things that one can do in order to Everyone has enemies. And the more
make the commitment choice:
! Stay the course. successful a person becomes, the more
! Surround one's self with people who are
equally passionately committed. enemies he or she will have.
! Clarify one's commitment.

Chapter 3: The Values Choice There are three things that one can do in order to
Everyone has enemies. And the more successful a make the values choice:
person becomes, the more enemies he or she will ! Surround one's self with people of similar
have. And these enemies are in a person's life for values.
whatever reason imaginable. ! Take the time to identify one's enemies and
understand why.
As Abraham Lincoln once said, "You can please all ! Understand that one cannot please all the
of the people some of the time and some of the people all the time.
people all of the time, but you cannot please all the
people all the time."

When enemies come into a person's life, the more Chapter 4: The Integrity Choice
logical and more productive choice is to welcome
them, because they are actually offshoots of Honesty, integrity, and trust are three characteristics
success. This does not mean that one should connected with one another. People of integrity gain
create enemies, because they will surface on their other people's trust.
own. And because you cannot please everyone,
Choosing to be a person of integrity has got to be one
then it is important to choose which individuals you
of the most difficult choices a person will ever have to
are and are not going to please.
make. More than just doing the right thing, doing the
In order to successfully deal with one's enemies, it is right thing when no one else is watching is much more
first important to identify these people and challenging.

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Integrity is not something that one can practice in from other factors, books are what shape an
moderation, or only with a select group of people. It individuals philosophies and values. The knowledge
is something that an individual either possess or that one can learn from other people is endless. It is
does not have at all. More than anything else, the through this unending learning process that one will
presenceor in some cases, lack ofintegrity reveals achieve more success.
an individual's true character.
There are three different kinds of people: (1) those
The integrity choice is one of the most important who make something happen; (2) those who watch
choices a person will ever have to make in his or her things happen; and (3) those who wonder what
lifetime, as this will determine each and every happened. Obviously, successful people belong in
action, including the roads to his or her long-term the first category. These people don't allow life to just
successes. happen in front of them; they take control.

One's integrity will be put to the test in more ways Regardless of one's status, it is important to hone an
than one. And it is important to be able to pass this individual's communication skills, because one can
test with flying colors, as people will never forget never be truly successful if he or she cannot get his or
such mistakes. her point across. Whether it's speaking in front of a
group, or writing a simple e-mail, or effective listening,
communication is a key factor to success.

In order to successfully deal with one's Fear is something that we learn throughout the years.
Notice how younger individuals, particularly children,
enemies, it is first important to identify seem to not have the notion of fear in their minds.
these people and understand why they With this lack of such a concept, they are able to do
more things, or even just think of being able to do
have become enemies in the first place. them. What is important is going past one's fears and
keep on moving forward. Mistakes and failures will
always be part of life; no one is spared. People who
are on the road to success will go past these
There are three things that one can do in order to roadblocks and keep on moving on, until they have
make the integrity choice: (1) Guard one's integrity reached their goal.
as though it is the most important possession; (2)
Realize that there are no "time outs" with one's Just as a person has made the choice to become
integrity; and (3) Do the right thing. successful, it is actually just as important to look
successful. Individuals who have made it to the top
are those that are worthy of much admiration and
respect.
Chapter 5: The Do-Something Choice
Now is the right time to begin on the road to success.
Deciding to do something and actually doing that It is never too late.
something are two completely different things. One
should never remain contented with the status quo. There are three things that one can do in order to
Even if the way things are have been good, there is make the do-something choice:
always room for improvement. Life will always ! Spend more time on action and less on
throw things in people's directions, but it is important thinking.
to know how to shake it all off and do something. ! Study successful people.
! Keep learning. Read every day.
There is actually a direct relationship between the
number and quality of books a person reads and the
level of success he or she attains, because aside

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12 CHOICES By David Cottrell

Chapter 6: The Persistence Choice cynical. This positivism is actually a more important
factor to success than the way a person looks or how
Success never happens overnight. The road is
much a person has achieved.
long, winding. The only way to be able to go down
this path is to persevere. Just like integrity, enthusiasm is not something that
one can just switch on or off; rather, it is a way of life. It
There are individuals who have great talents and
is important to learn how to get rid of negativism in
abilities, only for others to see them go to waste.
one's life in order to achieve the success one is
And there are those who seem like average people,
striving for.
and yet these individuals surpass the former group.
The difference between these two is their choice to The good thing is that optimism is something that can
persist, to stick it out until the end. be learned and developed. These people, more
often than not, always see opportunities in whatever
Failure will always be part of life. It is almost often
situation, and make the most out of them. This
the precedent to success. The road to success will
optimism will give one the strength that one will need
always have roadblocks and speed bumps.
in order to keep on moving toward his or her goals.
Successful people are those who persevere despite
these, overcoming these obstacles, and not
stopping until they reach their goal.

What is more important is learning from past Honesty, integrity, and trust are three
mistakes and failures in order to make more
informed and better choices. What separates characteristics connected with one
successful individuals from the others is their ability another. People of integrity gain
to turn failures into successes.
other people's trust.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the persistence choice:
! When one reaches roadblocks, don't give up.
! Failure is a learning tool.
! If one wants to win, one has to stay in the There are three things that one can do in order to
game.
make the attitude choice:
· Consciously choose one's attitude.
· Keep one's eyes open to new opportunities.
· Be easy on one's self and on everyone else.
Chapter 7: The Attitude Choice
A person's attitude affects those around him or her,
both in a positive and negative way, and every
aspect of his or her life. It is not something that is Chapter 8: The Adversity Choice
just a reaction, an automatic response to the outside
world. In each successful person's life, being able to
overcome any kind of adversity has been a crucial
Attitude is something that is internally controlled by turning point. Just like everyone else, these people
the person. One can never completely control what experience problems that are, more often than not,
is going on around him or her, but he or she can beyond their control. However, regardless of the
choose how he or she will react in certain situations. situation, what defines successful people is their
ability to go past these adversities, attacking the
A positive attitude aids a person who is on the road problem itself and moving forward.
to success, because there is not one successful
person who has been described as negative or When a person is faced with an adversity, his or her

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true character comes out. Once a person is faced is important that both people have open
with this kind of situation, there are only two choices: communication lines, are interested in how the other
to either become immobilized and stuck in self-pity, person feels, know that a relationship is more than
or overcome the adversity and move on with life. what is in it for them, and that the other person may
Adversity can either grind a person down or polish bring some negative excess baggage from previous
him or her up, depending on how he or she deals relationships.
with the circumstance.
There are five helpful steps in order to cement one's
According to Chris Novak, the author of Conquering relationships:
Adversity, they are six steps to follow in order to ! One's relationships reflect the relationship one
successfully overcome any kind of adversity that a has with his or herself.
person may encounter in his or her life: ! Everyone wants to know that they are cared
! Acknowledge what is and what is not lost. about.
! Pull one's self up and avoid the "why" trap, ! Despite busy schedules, it is important to
moving forward with positive expectations. always make time to make contact.
! Allow other people to help. ! Conflicts will occur so it is important that both
! Keep on moving forward. parties are willing to compromise.
! Do not attempt to face adversity alone. ! Practice forgiveness when the relationship is
! Celebrate with positive energy, as it will tested.
nourish one's spirit and refresh one's attitude,
giving a person enough strength to overcome There are always opportunities wherein new
his or her own obstacles. relationships can be developed. They are key
interactions in one's life and crucial to one's success.
There are three things that one can do in order to
make the adversity choice: There are three things that one can do in order to
! Realize that adversity is short-term. make the relationship choice:
! Don't panic, freeze, and stop because the ! Be willing to focus on building positive
adversity presented is perceived to be relationships.
insurmountable. ! Become a mentor for others.
! Don't waste energy on looking for someone to ! Don't travel with friends that desert at the first
blame. sign of danger.

Chapter 9: The Relationship Choice Chapter 10: The Criticism Choice


Relationships, both personal and professional, add Just as an individual gains more enemies as he or she
color to a person's life, making it important to not becomes more successful, the same holds true with
only build new relationships but to develop existing criticism. Everyone has critics, because there will
ones. However, there is no such thing as a universal always be someone who will disagree with how a
criteria for relationships, as each individual has person looks, talks, or behaves. In order to become a
different needs and wants. successful individual, it is important to learn how to
deal with these critics and their criticisms.
Relationships, which are an important requirement
for success, just don't happen. Healthy There are actually critics and criticisms that can help
relationships take time and energy from both an individual advance; but there are those who
individuals, with a similar goal of making their obviously just want to pull a person down. Find out
relationship grow over time. which ones can help and which ones are just wastes
of time.
The most important basis for a healthy relationship
is trust between both individuals. Other than that, it However, no matter what, do not overreact to

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criticism. Everyone needs criticism, because it is


There are three things that one can do in order to
actually a form of feedback. It can actually be viewed
make the reality choice:
as a learning tool because it will teach us some of the ! A key element of success is discovering and
more difficult lessons in life. Pay attention to these facing reality.
criticisms and listen intently in order to really ! Look for truth in every situation, every
understand what the person is trying to convey. relationship, every crisis, and every success.
! Understand that choosing reality may not
Avoid being psychosclerotic, thinking that one's own always be the easiest path.
idea is the best and the only plan that will work. It is
important to keep one's mind open to other people's
suggestions.

Criticism, whether constructive or otherwise, can Just as a person has made the choice
either be a hindrance or a help. But more often than to become successful, it is actually
not, criticism helps a person grow, as long as the
individual welcomes the criticism and refuses to be just as important to look successful.
negatively affected by such feedback.

There are three things that one can do in order to


make the criticism choice:
! Be aware that criticism comes with success.
! Accept constructive criticism as a gift.
! Acknowledge that criticism is a learning tool.
Chapter 12: The Legacy Choice
More than anything, the choice of legacy is a
necessary decision that has to be made in order to
Chapter 11: The Reality Choice achieve success. If people have not chosen this, then
When individuals are forced to face reality, more individuals at present would not have any sort of role
often than not, it is not something that they are willing models nor examples. People would then be learning
to accept. That is why the truth hurts, because reality things on their own, through their own experience,
is the truth. And it can really sting when people are without anyone else to guide them.
not ready to accept things as they really are.
Successful individuals will choose to leave behind a
However, discovering and facing reality is an legacy that will be passed on from generation to
extremely important factor to one's success. Before generation; something that will live on even after they
one can determine where he or she wants to go, one have long been gone. Leaving something behind is
must first and foremost find out where he or she is at an unselfish act, helping other people achieve their
the moment. success in the best way possible, without expecting
anything in return.
Reality also helps one figure out how to get to where
he or she is going as well, identifying a person's own There is no such thing as not knowing what to give,
limits. More often than not, reality means change-- because every individual can help in his or her own
whether in a person's plans or a change in direction simple way. Time and wisdom are the two things that
or approach. one will need in order to leave a legacy.

Coming face to face with reality does not necessarily Giving should always come from the heart, regardless
mean abandonment of one's dreams. On the of what a person is sharing, because this kind of
contrary, it helps a person identify the best way to go unselfish act is repaid tremendously without our
about things, helping a person learn more about him asking for it.
or herself.

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Mentoring other people, especially those that seem to


be in a similar situation as one has experienced
before, will help other people move forward and avoid
certain roadblocks.

Legacies are left by choice, because no one is


required to do so.

There are three things that one can do in order to


make the legacy choice:
! Be willing to share one's knowledge and
mentor those looking for the pathway to success.
! The greatest gift one can give is knowledge and
experiences.
! Begin one's legacy where one is at present.

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