CARL POSEY THE WORLD: 'S TOP COMIC ARTISTS PARADOX PRESS NEW YORKDc COMICS JENETTE KAHN PRESIDENT & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF PAUL LEVITZ EXECUTIVE VP & PUBLISHER ANDREW HELFER GROUP EDITOR BRONWYN CARLTON TAGGART EDITOR JIM HIGGINS ASSISTANT EDITOR ROBBIN BROSTERMAN ART DIRECTOR JOE ORLANDO VP—CREATIVE DIRECTOR BRUCE BRISTOW VP—SALES & MARKETING PATRICK CALDON VP—FINANCE & OPERATIONS TERRI CUNNINGHAM MANAGING EDITOR CHANTAL D’AULNIS VP—BUSINESS AFFAIRS LILLIAN LASERSON VP & GENERAL COUNSEL SEYMOUR MILES VP—ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER BOB ROZAKIS EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR—PRODUCTION THE BIG BOOK OF WEIRDOS published by Paradox Press. Compilation Copyright ©1995 Paradox Press. All Rights Reserved, Factoid Books is a trademark of Paradox Press. Paradox Press is an imprint of DC Comics, 1325 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10019. A division of Warner Bros. — A Time Warner Entertainment Company. Printed in CANADA. First Printing. See page 222 for individual story copyright holders. Cover by Tom Taggart Title page illustration by Roger Langridge Interior publication design by Brian Pearce Lettering by Rod Ollerenshaw THE BIG BOOK OF WEIRDOSELAGABALUS Randy DuBurke........... eicis® GAIUS CAESAR- CALIGULA Richard Piers Rayner .... IVAN THE TERRIBLE Ed Hillyer KING LUDWIG II OF BAVARIA Simon Fraser.. ADOLF HITLER James Romberger........-esseeceeceesessesesseee 25 KING FAROUK Mark Badger . -30 eS is a aS MILITARY MEN LT. HIROO ONODA Colin MacNeil... 34 T.E. LAWRENCE (OF ARABIA) Greg RUbfiiessiveissevcvisvvesusevesssovsstcossenvessvacd 36 THE GREAT IMBOSTOR: Chris McLoughlin ....... wre nian IDI AMIN Michael Zeck... a sesecrseversenseneen OS 3 ODDLY Cc as EVANGELISTS AND PHILOSOPHERS RASPUTIN Tony Harris ... CYRUS R. ae Rick Geatyiccsvests siveiessesiecassese 53 AIMEE SEMPLE MCPHERSON Rebecca Gua: GEORGES IVANOVICH GURDJIEFF Joe Staton ..... ALEISTER CROWLEY RODPHBSWAH Srnec ccsessessecscessescnssessersoevees 63 MARCELLO CRETI Steve Lelaloha .i.s..csssisessesseesesvenssoressosess 68 WILHELM REICH Graham Higgins...... saemeveeneecneZO. 4 ieee WEIRD NOVELISTS AND POETS EDGAR ALLAN POE Roger Langridge ......ssscessessessesseeseeseesesvenes TG GUY DE MAUPASSANT Will Simpson......... rer.) FRANZ KAFKA Donald Davida stsaviaiacnsirayesnsrian 82 WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS Dave DeVries c-ncsevsesscsenssessonvsicvissccsassoves 84 AMBROSE GWINNETT BIERCE Leo Durafiona FYODOR MIKHAYLOVICH DOSTOYEVSKY | Jeff Parker CURTAIN-CALL CRACKPOTS PERFORM AND PLAYWRIGHTS SARAH BERNHARDT AL DaVisOtiicorsssucssersssvesseoseovssssssueveensensen 96 EDWARD ASKEW SOTHERN Steven Leiber 100 CHUNG LING SOO Gat YSAMALD.ccocuseteassarsesscussessvseurservareas 102 HARRY HOUDINI Jim Fern... ALFRED HENRI ae Woodrow Phoenix. smosenienen OB THE 81G BOOK OF WEIRDOSISADORA DUNCAN Craig Hamilton ...0scsessssssssssssosseecescesssases 110 VASLAV NIJINSKY Ted Naifeh ENTERTAINERS AND ARTISTS SHIPWRECK KELLY Greg Theakston...... MOONDOG Robert McCallum ........ccccccececeeeseeeeeeeeeee ERICH VON STROHEIM Hunt Emerson .....ceceeeeeeeee CLARA BOW Art Wetherell ......sccssseesessessseseesescerees . ED WOOD JR. Mitch O'Connell .. VINCENT VAN GOGH Russell Braun ........cccessessessavssveseivasvsreses ANDY WARHOL Zina Saunders ......cecceseeeeeeee y SALVADOR DALI Frank Quibely’.s..csssessseessovesssnsseasvarseossnve! INVENTORS AND SCIENTISTS THOMAS EDISON Richard Case NIKOLA TESLA Tayyar Ozkan... 3 HENRY FORD Peter Gross EDWARD LEEDSKALNIN Feliks Dobrin WALTER FREEMAN Rick Parker ........ssseceesseseeeseesessseseeseaeseeee FRANZ ANTON MESMER Joe Phillips... LORD MONBODDO David G. Klein... sesesseseeeseeretseesesterseees GREY OWL Michael Avon Oeming.....c.secsereesssseneseres ‘ TYCOONS AND MILLIONAIRES MAD JACK MYTTON David HiN@ ...ecsocoseseesatssssvessessevsassousstiie STEPHEN TENNANT Nghia Lam........ THE WITCH OF WALL STREET Alec Stevens...... BERNARR MACFADDEN D'Israeli D’Emon Draughtsman......c.sscceseeeed 74 SARAH WINCHESTER Batton Lash... soccer IB WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST Dame TOlAQSON:. sccsesasnnssnssasiovecsiepisevees! 178 THE COLLYER BROTHERS Graham Manley......... 184 HOWARD HUGHES Danny Hellman 184 MISCELLANEOUS WEIRDOS MARQUIS DE SADE Tom Sutton.. SPREE eeeeperaeer eA 8B DR. JAMES, BARRY. Mark Wheatley..ecssscssecssecsssceesseesseeseeess 193 JUNE AND JENNIFER GIBBONS Linda Medley .. veseesee 195: STEWART AND CYRIL | MARCUS Teddy Kristiansen ...... : see 9B WILLIAM JAMES SIDIS Floyd Hughes .. JEREMY BENTHAM Mitch Waxman ...ccccceeseeceeceeceeceeecesceeeeeee 203 NORTON I, EMPEROR OF THE UNITED STATES Kieron Dwyer ...seseeessesssessesreessesneseenes +205 LORD SUTCH Robin Smith............ seeeee2O7 WILLIAM LYON MACKENZIE KING Michael Jantze ........ 208 J. EDGAR HOOVER Peter Kuper 210 ARTISTS’ BIOGRAPHIES 215 BIBLIOGRAPHY sega 219 COPYRIGHTS... peta 222 TNIDEX. sscsscscsesecs 223HAN WILSON Face it — you just did a weird thing I don’t know where you did it — you could have been in a bookstore, or maybe in a friend’s house — but you saw this book and that funny little voice in the back of your head, that voice that sounds like you talking out loud but which only you can hear, that voice that tells you to do things, said: “Pick it up! That book about Weirdos! You know you want to read it!” And you did pick it up, and here it is in your hands Now, you shouldn't be concerned or wonder if this means you're going crazy, because picking up this book and reading it is a perfectly sane and logical action; being interested in Weirdos makes sense. Not being interested in Weirdos is unwise, and can even be dangerous. For example, should you see a tall, heavyset Weirdo clumping toward you on the sidewalk and pulling something glinty and sharp out of a greasy paper bag as he looks at you sidewise and asks God, “Should 12”, if you see all that and you don’t become interested enough in him to at least quickly and quietly cross the street, getting out of his path and clear of his field of vision, then you are very likely to end up as a brief item on that evening's TV news (featuring a badly-lit shot of your pooled blood congealing on the sidewalk). This is not to imply by any means that interest in Weirdos is only negative — if you can spot the right Weirdo you can make a fortune (Henry Ford, page 151), find salvation (Georges Gurdjieff, page 60), or experience the absolute tops in literature (Fyodor Dostoyevsky, page 91), art (Vincent van Gogh, page 131) or theater (Sarah Bernhardt, page 96). Without Weirdos to lead the way, in fact, we all would still be wrapped in the rotting hides of animals, crouching around fires in caves, and dying miserably of old age at around sixteen years old. Actually, we wouldn’t be anywhere near that well off, because the fire wouldn't be there if some Weirdo hadn’t been nutty enough to think of lighting one indoors, and we'd still be shivering in our bare flesh if another Weirdo hadn’t been perverted enough to try to wear an animal instead of just gulping it down! The truth is, you have to be pretty weird to invent a light bulb or create surrealism or put together the FBI, and if you think your totally unweird Uncle Fred could come up with "The Tell- tale Heart” or “Swan Lake” or “Plan Nine from Outer Space,” think again. He's probably never even heard of them. (Come to think of it, do you have any unweird relatives? I don’t think I do.) Of course, the great problem with Weirdos is that they can, and often do, mislead the rest of us in a highly spectacular wrong direction. Adolf Hitler (page 25), for example, was absolutely certain World War II was for our own good (not to mention the Holocaust); Walter Freeman (page 156) was altogether convinced that turning the emotionally troublesome among us into passive vegetables via prefrontal lobotomies was the greatest idea since sliced bread; and it’s an absolute certainty that Ivan the Terrible (page 16) would have been astounded to learn he'd go down in history as Ivan the Terrible. THE BIG BOOK OF WEIRDOSLet a really talented Weirdo make a serious mistake and the rest of us can end up having truly spectacular problems. But what would happen if, because of this potential danger, the Non-Weirdos of the world somehow managed to perfect a society where no Weirdo ever got the chance to do his or her own thing (which is self-contradictory, when you think about it, as the whole scheme is 100% pure Weirdo). Where would that put us? I think it would put us to sleep, and far, far too many of us are already born asleep, live out our whole lives asleep, and, finally, die asleep. Could we possibly stay awake if we knew how the plots of all the movies or television shows would end? What if no book ever surprised us? Suppose every painting you ever saw reminded you of every other painting you'd ever seen? Would you even bother to bite into any more pies or sandwiches if the Contents of every one were totally predictable? Imagine how it would be if everybody always agreed on everything, and you knew exactly how everybody had spent last night because they'd spent it just the same way you'd spent it yourself, and you could tell what would be happening in your life two years from now because your life would be just exactly the same as your two-years-older neighbor. Are you still awake? The fact is that it would be a dreadful mistake to eliminate Weirdos, no matter what the dangers, no matter what the costs. If we did not have Weirdos in our population, we would have to make ‘them up. But not to worry, there is not even the slightest danger of Weirdo scarcity in ourselves or others. Look back over any day you spend and I guarantee you will discover a generous abundance of the Weirdo factor both in others and in yourself. Watch the news, see who runs the country, see who owns it, see who's trying to build it up and who's trying to destroy it, and you will be at ease: There is absolutely no chance of a Weirdo shortage. Be aware, though, that this invaluable Weirdo factor requires intelligent maintenance. And that is another proof that you weren't crazy at all when you picked up this book, because if you study carefully the little stories contained in The Big Book of Weirdos you will discover that they offer endless THE BIG BOOK OF WEIRDOS helpful suggestions and examples that will assist you enormously in succesful Weirdo management, both interior and exterior. You'll learn that some kinds of Weirdo quirks are extremely handy. Being able to make millions by outguessing everybody else on the stock market, or succeeding in showbiz as an escape artist, for instance, are only two examples of Weirdo talents that can be counted as a definite plus. (If you Possess such talents, you may feel free to make use of them as often and as unreservedly as you like.) There are also generous examples of the little pitfalls that now and then present themselves and which you should be on your guard against. Absorb the contents of this book and you will learn that it’s a danger sign if you find yourself indulging in odd peculiarities such as sleeping in a coffin instead of a bed, or if you seem to be losing control over that nagging obsession you have about germ contamination. You will even be made aware of the riskiness lurking behind what may seem benign or even laudable practices, such as mass feeding of city Pigeons, or the possibly overenthusiastic collecting and stacking of moldy old newspapers. Keep this book with you always, consult it carefully (without moving your lips and speaking aloud in public, if possible) every time you have that funny feeling that things are slipping out of control, and there is an excellent chance that you will avoid a sufficient accumulation of negative Weirdo factor to push you over into outright insanity. It’s worked for me. So far, at least. At least, I think it has. GAHAN WILSON was officially declared “born dead” by the attending physician in Evanston, Illinois, but survived anyway to become a cartoonist published in periodicals as diverse as The New Yorker, Playboy, Gourmet, Punch, and Paris Match. He has written two mystery novels (Eddy Deco’s Last Caper and Everybody's Favorite Duck) and is currently writing The Big Book of Freaks for Paradox Press.UNRULY RULERS It's been said that power corrupts — and that absolute power corrupts absolutely. What isn’t usually mentioned is how darn weird absolute power makes people... or how weirdness often seems to be a prerequisite for obtaining power in the first place. Blame it on inbreeding, doubtless a contributing A U T 0 C RAT Ss factor among dynastic rulers like Elagabalus (page 8) and Caligula A N D (page 11), or poor upbringing (Hitler, 0 R S page 25), or just a sadistic nature (Ivan the Terrible, page 16), but the reasons why are almost beside the point: These rulers, despots all, were really strange. And with absolute power at their disposal, they treated their countrymen and kingdoms as their own personal playthings... as often as not, with disastrous DICTAT consequences.ZR ZS oS "D2 Aoi VERBS, A Pi ABiy TEEN RULED THAD CENTURY ROME WW | 2ren aecose ye accane Rouen Gi. Wi OOM UACANCE, BI BADAE HNMMOE, AD SCANDAL GUS WW | Fcistace, me aor nme Sextia. Bennie. vis MAME F es RY DeaceweD AaDu SYRIAN ROVALT d) We Wis GH PRIEST OF THE yy ace Hi Loved 7 DRESS UPIN SLE ROBES WMD DANCE His CLL © ELABORATE RITUALS. Ss SS SE z (ROME HAD SEEN PLENTY, BUT NOTHING LIKE THIS. | Carm = HE GLIDED WHEN HE WALK A voracious PaaTy se ANIMAL» He SPENT} Dive Fietine Wire MEN AND WOMEN. He FAVORED ORIENTAL COSTUMES AND HEAVY MAKELB WITH TONS OF 4 GOLD ND. PRECIOUE GEMS. LZ % =e Sa , [Af RECKLESS CHARTER, ME STAGED RACES THAT SAVED ON POWER... fees JETER Four = WDULGENT Yeas, HE a MAE Tae EMD Wis pene 6: ANOTHER < ata ETEGHINED THAT 18 PATE Nospapen Setlist te HUIGELE, HE ABSEMBLED 4 Mieeir, He AeseMBeeD. Haw aor OLE eS THe Two FINALLY FOUNDA PLACE WIAA WHEN 71 ‘ar — BO Momeumer Stiotes arom Geel bine BirenTIBERIUS TALGHT THE BOY ALL HE NEEDED TOKNOW ABOUT | | DEGENERACY OF EVERY KINO, CALIGULA, JOIN! IN, JOIN! INT, THE POMAN SENATE GAVE HA THE THRONE, or (7 SEEMED AN INSPIRED IOEA,,, AT FIRSTCALIGULA CUT TAXES, RESTORED THE ARISTOCRACY TWAT TIBEQUS HAD GUTTED, DECLARED A GENERAL AMNESTY “ROMANS LOVED HIM, BUT EVEN THEN, A CERTAIN “SPITEFUL " NATURE BEGAN 72 EMERGE. a—\ FOR WEEKSHE LAY STRAPPED DOWN 70 HS MPEP AL BED, WRITHING AND SCREAMING /N AGONY. SS DELIGHTED (N TOSSING THEN, JUST S/K MONTHS 70 THe GROUNE INTO HIS REIGN, CALIBLLA A HAVE TO. SCRAMBLE TD RETRIEVE THEA. CALCLT AN ILLNESS THAT BROLOAT WITH IT RAGING FEVER AND DELIRNIM, Eaton THEM or THey ROLL AWAY! AY THE CALIGULA THAT ROSE FROM THE SIC BED WAS A S DIFFERENT MAN. x HE DECIDED 75 BEAN ABSOLUTE MONARCH, AFTE DOWN, ALL OF you, Down) How cAN You sTaNo MY GLARING LIGHT Z Z,AND THAT, LIKE THE PHARADHS, HE MARRIED Hl S/STER, DRUSILLA. SOME HISTORIANS SAY THAT HELIONT SEAT (NEITATUS, WE HORSE, As 4 OMANWHEN HE HAD SPENT THE LAST OF TIBERIUS HOARDED MILL IO: HE BEGAN STI2/PPING THE ARISTOCRACY THAT HE HD ONCE REVIVED. Y BUT, MATEST YOU 'RUIN ME SUICIDE cae VE Go your i ae 28S crizens/) : 8 AGASNOAND BoeoeLioneae i} SET LP INTHE PALACE TO RAISE STILL MORE BOLD. il](INCREDIBLY, WITH THE POPULACE TURNING AGAINST HIM, HE STILL CENTURION (N THE PIE TORIAN W GUARD. IT WAS NOWAY TOTREAT A WS BY NOW, CALIGULA HAD BROWN (NTO A BALDING, MIDDLE - AGED MAN =-O2 29. TAM TAKING AWALIC THROUGH THE STABLES. ONE. (7 WAS AS THOUGH ORRING THE ISSAT(SEIED POPULACE TO TRY TO ELIMINATE HIM FINALLY HIS ENEMIES TOOK HIS DARE. A GROUP LED BY 15OLD BOY cb ez, RUSSIA IN (S47 WAS CALLED WAN GROEN AWESOME. BUT HE HAS: oS THROUGH HISTORY a ORPHANED 45.4 BOY, NAN WAS U| ABUSED AND BEATEN BY Pe RELATES WHO HORRDED THE | [| POWER OF RUSEIAS EMPTY THRONE, (NIC CROWDS. nc’ BNO GALLOPED Wis CHARGER |, HE Was REALLY TERRIBLE, BUT ALSO SUART.FORA TIME; HE STOPPED BEING TERRIBLE. HE MARRIED ANASTASIA, FATHERED SX CHILDREN... ‘ Y NS : Sa NS / 2 bit BURY) |. AND FINALLY WON THE CROWN OF RUSSIA» AND WAS A WI6E, BUT IN (555, 2B ORMING AN ILLNESS RULER. 1 AMA DEAD MAN, SWEAR ALLEGIANCE To MY SONs DMITRI. THE RECUPERATING é. | Be BRCODEDIN SECLUSION, 2516 I WAITING FOR FURTHER CALAM be i ANASTASIA «. SHEFMRAGED, HE > FAILURE Te TIP Your Ware STABBED HIS ole Har NSE WAN DIVIDED HS KING ~ DOM, ONE PRET, CALLED THE OPRICHNINA, CAME UNDER WIS ABSOLUTE CONTROLHUNDREL OF SECRET Hi OPRICHNINA,, T MEAN, BE M40 Y 0 THOSE WHo SURVIVED fa 40 0120 oF sraevarior _& S ae lit iam «> Al [sewer tee Ge WHEN HE TIRED OF KILLING SUBTECTS, HE TURNED ON HIS. FOLLOWERS. BYZ, TOYS CREDIT, HE RAID Fok Peaviies Fa2 2 PEW HOORAND OF HIB MANY VIETIMS. He was cwe-werans--rsoerace, W2e20y har ea nee cL heb Hil NibBUT tit REAL DOMAIN, IT TURNED OUT, WAS A KINGOOM OE THE (MABINATION, FILLED WITH OPERA AND GREAT CASTLES. MADNESS RAN IN THE FAMILY. AUNT ALEXANDRA BELIEVED SHE'D SWALLOWED A PIANO... TN WHILE STILL A BOY, LUDWIG HAP LUDWIG HIMSELF HAD BEEN HEARING AND SEEING THINGS Foe veazs. SEEN SOMETHING THAT. CHANGED His LIFE FOREVER. Luup., Vi. OM Lutiuoie..INTHE OPERA, LOHENGRIN, A GERMAN KNIGHT, Is GUIDED'TD A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS BY 4 GEALTIFUL SHAN. 1», BY RICHARD WAGNER, ONEOE 1D EGOS THE GREAT TALENTS --“ANL Day. IN THE MEANTIME, LUOWIC i ORDERED THAT (MAGES OF S1VANS IAT COVER THE ROYAL WALLE j ae ui H " KC SN D> Manes KING CAN ADORE IM ANYTHING HE oie a Wis SUBUELTS ADORED HIM UST AS ZEMLOUSLY. THEY REUOICED WHEN LUDMIG TOOK THE THRONE IN 186%, THEY LIKED THE LO0KS OF Trike TALL, YOUNG, BRILLIANT MAN. HERE YOU CAN COMPLETE Your” GREATEST WORKS, RICHARD, LONG LIVE LUDWIG. LONG LIVE THE KING’ HE OFFERS ME EVERYTHING. I NEED TOLIVE, TOCREATE, To PERFORM MY WORKS. T AM ONLY EXPECTED TOBE His FRIEND.WAGNER IMMEDIATELY EMBARKED ON HIS MONUMENT 7D HIMSELF — fue Cnerowbancs tose AT) BAYREUTH, (20 MLES NORTH MUNICH, THEY AIN” SEEN NOTH! = WG OPERA SETS DEZIEO THE (MAGINATION --WHOLE FORESTS. a! AND CAVERNS DRAPED WITH CAL Acr iris. | a BUT THE CITIZENS. BALKEDAT SEH EXT RaBaCMice, aN SENT WAGNER PACKING BALE Hes THE KING WAS BOMRY 12 SEE Hie HERO GO, BUT NOT FOR LONG. LUDWIG WAS BECOMING VERY BUSY, NOG LE GUCANEE FE ROGER: ABLE CATE WE WSTE/ 1 WHICH WAS. PALACE AT versaules, BUT THESE IMPOSSIBLY EXPENSIVE CASTLES WERE JUST THE T/P OF LLOWIE"S ICEBERE OF STRANGENES: ewe Hapasse BEGIN BUILDING HIEMSEE =A VETLAL DerLIeNTE OF Tema LE ES, STILL NEOMPLETE WHEN THE ROYAL BUILDER DYED, Luuowe... Vilewe. ou, Luuuuwo~ O AH! IT's Yous WHERE HAVE Sou BeEN= 22AT STATE DINNERS, HE SEMRATED COMPAN' ie 1 Ab arene Tigres BET * ea a WHOLE ACTING TROUPES PERFORMED FOR WHAT SEEMED EMPTY HOUSES... 11, WHILE THE KING, SEQTED ALONE, WATCHED PROM BEHIND DRAWN CURTAINS. D THE WINTER GARDEN HEADDED 7O THE MUNICH OVAL PALACE ROOE WASA VIRTUAL TINGLE. Luveuo.. Via, Ons Louuue Migeo. TOARKE SURE He saWas FEW E AS POSSIBLE, LUOWIS (2oa6 af BUC ANDHIENT TO GED AT OAWN, HE LIKED TO TRAVEL — PROVIDED NO ONE SAW HIM. HE ALSO PRETENDED TO TRAVEL, HAVING WIG COACH TAKE Hi/M A CERTAIN DISTANCE (N LAPS AROUND THE ROVAL RIDING STABLE. HE INVENTED PEOPLE--AND LAUGHED AT THEIR JOKES.ZA NR BAVARIANS BEGAN TO WONDER. B WHERE THEIR KINGHAD GONE 4 == THE ORBAN KING BECAME MORE AND MORE T YQANNICAL. HE PORBADE SPEAKING BAVARIAN DIALECT, AND SNEEZING, AND COUEHING... For THAT YOU WILL BE EXECUTED! LWUDOVIER.. NOT VERY NICE, Luwwoviees. THE PUNISH - MENTS WERE NEVER CARRIED OUT, LOWE MIGHT BE CRAZY, BUT HE WAS NEVER CRUEL, UNTIL NOW, ITE BEEN LUOWIG'S MONEY. BUT HES BROKE, NOWHES SPENDING OUI MONE, SoOMegooy GET A SHRINIC, LUDWIG WAS SENT TO BERG PLLACE ON THE SHORES DE LAKE STANLEY, WITH BUODEN, ied 7E PSYCHIATRIST WHO'D LABELED HIM INSANE. I CAN Bear THAT THEY TAKE THE GOVERNMENT FROM ME, BUT NOT THAT THEY DECLARE ME INSANE ae = WHEN Bava cur Him oer, He) SENT MINIONS 70 THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO BORROW, AND Worse. IE YOU cAN’T BORROW, THEN BEC. IF’ YOU CAN'T BES, THEN STEAL! ONE JUNE AETER- NOON, THE DEPOSED KING AND GLDDEN WENT OUT FORA sour HIGHNESS? THE BUREHERS HAD HAD ENOUGH. | GENTLEMEN, Dr. BERNARD Von GUODEN IS A FAMOUS PSYCHIATRIST, HE HAS SOMETHING: TOsay. 00 HELP US, THE KING IS MAD. HOURS LATER, THEY WERE FOUND QROWNEDIN A FEW FEET OF WATER. THE KING HAD EVIDENTLY KILLED HIS DOCTOR, THEN HIMSELF. OW» MY GOD, your’ HiGHNESs!, NO ONEKNOWS WHAT IEALLY WAPPENED-- EXCEPT THAT POOR LUOWIG HAD FINALLY AWAKENED FROM HIS DEANS.THE NAZI DICTATOR WHO TOOK GERMANY 10 EUROPEAN DOMINANEE --AND TOTAL DESTRUCTION iN JUST A DOZEN YEARS BETWEEN HIS RISE TO POWER | “sora. IN 1933 AND pestauction’? WIS DEATH INA EXCUSE ME» BERLIN BUNKER ON APRIL BD, 1945. T MEAN-- DIDNT GERMANY vou cat tuaT BOUNCE Bac AFTERWARD? DESTRUCTION? T HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE Py OON'T T CALL IT DEUTSCHMARK LATELYZ JOTAL VICTORY. WAVE You 2 . AND W--1wiS 5 MAY GREATEST Thie-- RTISTIC TRIUMPHPEOPLE ARE ALWAYS, BLAMING DAD For WHaT T BECAME. “HE DD IT BECAUSE His FATHER WAS A GRUTE, “THEY SAY, ty, “IT (8 NOT BY THE PRINCILE OE MMAMITS THAT MANLIVER BCS ABLE To PRESERVE HAI SELF ABOVE THE ANIMAL WORLD,” LISTEN 72 THIS STRUGGLE 1 THE Fai is THER OF ALL THINGS : BUT I MUST ADMIT 1 FLEW INTO A PEOPLE HAVE MADE MC RAGE WHENEVER HEARING THE OF THATLITTLE TIOGIT ABOUT NAME OF HIS HOVETOWNON WY FATHER. I TELL VOU, MY SUSPICIONS INO WAY” (NELUENCED MY POLICES...1 WERE MY GREATEST ABSETE: we Pannier Sone ere Cehie ee weird coved WE Suey aouenr we Rermcar | iNety LONEST AND Clinemine.” se “I WAS JUST A VERY INTENSE GUY. INFACT, MY INTENEITY... MY HATRED, WY ANGER, WHAT SOME CALL MY, MADNESS..." “BUT THEN, I Was ALWAYS FLYING INTO RAGES... POUNOING I ny A/S7s Ano KicwiNie Wales. (7 WAS JUST MY NATURE. T HAVE NEVER SEEN A HOWARD ; 5 We com ese pee CAPABLE OF GENERATING SUCH ABOUT MY NEVER B CONDENERTION OF SNNs, ; SeoWING UE: UAUPERATIONS AND MALICE. : L WANT SOW WHITE AND THE WE LEARN ABOUT FIGHTING RUSSIANS FROM ZEADING aa MAY NOVELS. A ies nose [aoe Seo keane saose 7 os whe genes sad LITTLE YOUNG Wr ricaers 27SUCH CRUEL Lies: THEY SAY T WASA Lousy aerien int VIENNA ... AND THAT T OooSeD THE AUSTRIAN DRAFT BEFORE WORLD WAR BY MOVING TO GERMANY. SUCH CRUEL LIES. THERE'S HELL NEVER THAT. "50 T WASNT ADMITTED. SO WHAT? I ALREADY KNEW WHAT AY EL TERE Wei BE. “I'D KNOWN SINCE SEEING WAGNER *S OPERA RIENZ! We KAY, SO MAYBE WASNOT EXACTLY ADAPTABLE. MAYBE, I GOT LOCKED INTO THINGS. NO BIG DEAL sh a = WHEN SNOW WHITE (5 OVER TWANT TO. ‘SEE... SNOW WHITE / EVERY Day we waLie DOWN THE SAME PATH, AND, CHASE AFTER THE SAME STICK. 1 NEED SOME VARIETY INMY LIFE!“THEY SAY E KEPT MY DISTANCE FROM WOMEN VABEINE: “DIDN'T I LOVE MY PRETTY N/ECE, ANGEL) RALIBEL—~ WY SWEET GELIF” Twee HEART BROKEN, WHEN SHE. COMMITTED Suicipe ALL RIGHT, SO FIVE OTHER WOMEN ay VB “AT THE END, DIDN'T 5 SAY T| Was READY POR MARRIAGET KILLED THemseLyes Hr AND DIDN'T E MARRY EVA (S THAT MY FALLTZ e BQN F DIDNT LE "BO, OKAY, THE MARRIAGE ONLY LASTED TWO DAYS. THE RUSSIANS WERE CLOSING IN.” MEAN, AMT FAI, OR WHATZ,EOYPT"S KING FAUDL| (N1936, A (6-YeaR- CLD BOY BECAME THE WEXT- 70 CCCURY THE WoRL0's cLDEsT EX/ST/NG THRONE. THEY CALLED HAA... I PROMISE TO DEVOTE MY LIFE AND MY BEING To Youre GOOD, TO BEND ALL MY EFroRTS TO CREATE YOUR HAPPINESS. WEALTHY BEYOND IMAGINING WITH PALACES YACHTS, PLANES, A HUNDRED CARS, AND THOOSANOS ACRES OF LAND FARO A WANTED MORE, NO KING MAD EVER SPOKEN DRECTLY 70 THE PEALE OF EQYPT BEFORE --02 PROMISED THEM) ANY THAME. T_START MY NEW LIFE WITH A cop HEART AND A STRONG WILL FARCUE MEANT WELL. BUT HIS LPBRINGING HADNT PREPARED WM 72 BE DEVOTED 7D ANYONE BL7 HAISELF.THE (TALIANS} ARE LOSING, ‘SIRE. WE CAN SIMPLY OERT THEIR OLD INTO WHEN THE COBFIN OF THE SHAM OF IRAN'S PATHER PASSED THROLGH, CAIRO, FAROLIC'S MUM/ONS RELIEVED (7 OF B CEREMOVAL SHORD AND Sser ese SS OG) ARLE CLAIMED HED LEARNED TOPIC POCKETS FROM cow ME VET HE'D FREED, i Bl ONT CARE WHA we SO GOOD, IN “ACT, THAT HE (EROBEED. (7 WAS JUST TOO MUCH FoR 4 ROP OF ESPON ALY OFFICERS — NELUDING COLONEL GAMAL ABDEL WAGSER. a cd YW c00n caw: SOMEONE'S PINCHED MY WATCH! Ee rears : $ ~ G WE NEW REGIME AUCTIONED OFE FAROUK LIVED ON IN EXILE @ IN 1952, aN aRaty cour senT Ki | WE Men Recwe aicroven LNT PARE 1985, WHEN THE FAROUK INTO EXILE... ALONG Wad Boul ecriavs OF PRICELESS 280-POLND BOY PHAZAOY DWH A SECRET ORDO ORD. TziW COLLAPSED AND DIED WER A HENS MEAL OF COURSE. ORY ue with nascee, Ya 4 DOWN WITH FAROUK!MILITARY MEN What is it about a man ina uniform? So determined, so forceful, so brave, so... bizarre. Perhaps it’s the pressure of warfare that fragmented these soldiers’ minds and drove them into the kingdom of the weird... or maybe they were born strange and kept their tendencies secret until military service allowed them to blossom. How else to explain Hiroo Onoda (page 34), the Japanese soldier who refused to surrender until thirty years after the conclusion of World War II? Or the legendary Lawrence of Arabia (T.E. Lawrence, page 36), known as a hero to millions of movie fans but remembered as a delusional, battle-crazed warrior by those who knew him. Or Idi Amin (page 44), undoubtedly the weirdest military mind of our time, who waged a paranoid war on his own people while the world watched in disbelief. For these and other military weirdos, war is not just a job... it’s an adventure.LT. ONDA, You WILL Conduct AND, ONCDA,,. Dont WoRey: A WHATever HAPPENS, SOLDIER, You Wilt cagRy ON!Pay AH, ANOTHER @ ciever nse 4 (NTHE!9508, THE JAPANESE GOVERNMENT SENT ENVOYS ANL 4 BANNER BEARING THE S/N ~ HIRO, PLEASE , THE WAR IS OVER. NO ONE WILL Ham EXTREMELY CLEVER. THIS IMPOSTOR Looks: ANO SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY BROTHER. LIKE THEIR RUMORS THAT THE WAR 'S ENDED; AND UAPAN HAS LOST. \F THE WAR WERE REALLY OVER, MY COMMANDER WOULO amas = DON’T KILL Me, OLD BUDDY. I'VE oe eS | SUZUK/ WAS CONVINEINE. || a | SUZ! FOUND A FORME SUPERIOR OFFICER, YOSHIRU TANIGUCH/. FINALLY ORDERED TO SURRENDER, JEUTENANT ONOOM HANDED His WORD TO FILIPINO OFFICER ON MERCH 9, 1974.FIGHTING ON THE DESERT FRINGES OF WORLD WAR TZ, THOMAS EDWARD LAWZENCE HELPED CREATE THE MODERN ARAB NATION AND A LEGEND ~ FIGURE, TO WAVE NOREAL IDENTITY OF HIS OWN. CHER THAN Tea, THEY WERE PROPER VETO RANE. Cn T, Fes - THE “L AWRENCES "WERE NO} REALLY THE LAWRENCES, SINCE THEY NEVER REALLY i MAR THE WASTELANDS O=ARABIA FELT STRANGELY LIKE HOME DRAWN To MILITARY AREMAEOLOEN "Tile STUDY Oe TE. SOON ESCAPED TD THE BNCIENT EORTICIER TIONS Ah WE OACIENT Cesc: WEAPONRY ~-AT OXFORD BE THE ELPHOATES VEa WHEN HE WASN'T EXCAVATING, WE WAS ONG THE DESERT LW Ponte, Lencine THe Ways AND MANY LANGUAGES. a pee i q ZEEE Le WELL LIEUTENANT, HOW suaLL Do THAT? a éj THE ENGLISH IS A td ONE Day, MY FRIENDS, ‘ALLAH WILL EE YOU. HE'D HEARD OX ARAB GUERPILLAS FIGHTING THE TURKS ALONG THE RED SEA, AND LONGED 70 JOIN THEM. AS AN IDEA , (7 WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING. LAWRENCE WOULD JOIN Tile ARAB REBELS, 37 MIDDLE EABT--AND LANE (ENCE FOUND HIMSELF AN INTELLIGENCE OPFICER IN CARO. BuT LocKeD away _P NHS INTELLIGENCE OPEICE, HE COULD OO} LITTLE MORE THAN CONTINUE AIS INTERROGATIONS...1, AND TE. DID LITTLE TO REASSUE THEM, AT FIRST, THE ARABS WERE SKEPTICAL. BY ALLAH. TAKING: ONE OF THE BRITISH INTO OF ‘STIFF PRICE TO PAY FOR ARMS! Ly »..awoaowneeo ss PA Ff cao dicanzaness We Lon ¢ A, Cc? = * y (a 4 WHIEH, COMBINED WITH IS (INTELLIGENCE SKILLS, ANT WANT HIM———————— > IN TULY IBZ THEY TOOK THEKEY CITY O= AQABA LOWELL THOMAS, MR. LAWRENCE, YOu A MAKE WAR ,T MAE & Famous, = | ere re \ \ Sais ras] \ eee IN FACT, HE SEEMED 70 BE & f # eo Be a el 1 FOR LAWRENCE, 1T Wash F HARD REALITY. \ = xh THE BOY'S D2EAM OF A AIGH THIARE FROM ADVENTURE HAD (CM NE! S CLRDOLED WTO 4 SPIRIT NOR HIS BODY MOH TMARE. WOLILD EVER AWAKEN.WN19B5) AGED £6, LAWRENCE WAS RETIRED FROM THERE, eee WHEN THE RAE DROPPED HIM, HE JOINED THE QOL TANK MY WILL, I THING, WE ABANDONED THE DISTINGUISHED SERVICE ORDER, THE ODE OF THE BATH --AND HINIGELF, fl HAO 4 Paral M07 Bey Cycle AcciDew’ FACING, ATLONG LOST; A PAIN HE COLD NOT ENDUZE.ABOGRD THE, May oe aber oF 4 SURGEON LIEUTENANT JOSEPH CYR WORKS FEVERISHLY TO SAVE THE [ee REINFORCED BY DRAFTS OF E20e, CYR OPERATES THROUGH THE NIEHT.| THOSE WHO WERE THERE THAT NEWT TALKED OF AANIRACLE BOCTOR Uta 4 ence THAT THE ‘SURVIVED. ZILLI E CAYUGA. (, DIDN'T Tila WIEN OL TIE NOR THE “DOCTOR” Was REALLY 3D -YEAR OLD FERDINAND WALDO DEMARA OF LAWRENCE, MASS. in WHO'D ALWAYS GoAW “OENTITY PROBE.1 BUT DIDNT FIND WHAT HE SOUGHT, SO HE BEGAN BECOMING OTHER PEOPLE, WITH OTHER CAREERS. z TT Wl WITH NOTHING Bir SiaRTS ANP | DETERMINATION, HE BECAME A FLEW ENGINEER... FT, cy oo Fi 7A Pe iia — 1 ills tencrscen cones. FA 7] CHE AND A CANCER RESEs 7TEACHING SCIENCE WAS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE CAREERS, AND HE EVERY TIME T TAKE ANEW IDENTITY, SOME PART OF ME DIES. TROUBLE WHS, HIS ENTHUSIASM, BROUGHT HIM ATTENTION --AND ATTENTION IWWARIABLY GOT IT DOESN'T METTER HOW Wreee's How r rieure ir. vou TAKE ON NEW IDENTITIES TO GET Seu sto New WosLDS. you ExPecr Lire To Be RcHee THAN Irie. DIEO,THEN, BY THe TIME HE LEFT THE CAYUGA IN (951. THE ENSUING PUBLICITY PIMISHED HIM OFF, FAME FORCED IM INTO. A _GINGLE, REAL IDENTITY. DLL HAVE 1S BE... ME, HIG CRAMPED STYLE DEPRESSED HIM. WHEN HE DIEDAT 60 (N 1982, WAS 4 MINISTER TO PATIENTS 4 CALIPORNA HOSPITAL DURING Hib LAST YEARS, HE'D FINALLY = (NED AS HIMSELF. ALMOST. EEN S JHE USED THE $Me "ace" DEMARA(AWUN WAS BORN N 1925 NEAR SUDAN, AND REARED BY 1115 MOTHER, "A LUBBARA WOMAN WHO PRACTICED WITCHCRAET. {ELLE WHEN THe Beran DemaereDn) \ 1962, THEY HAD HIGH N cones ceuane Medlee Hoe att ay x VN off fe LE MANY 4 PEASANTS SON, Ouey Ke MANY 4 rae AT Sik-2008 ao 220 POUNDS, AMIN FOUND & VOCATION (N THE RING AND WAS UNDEFEATED NATIONAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP FOR WINE YEARS. AS ME OF ONLY THD Or cme (WN UERNOAS AMY, AMIN WAS «| SOREN TEED ARID ADVANCEMENT. WHEN MILTON OB OTE TOOK E POWER AFTER INDEPENDENCE, AMIN BECAME THE ARMY & CHIEF Fi OF STAFF,THE STRONGMAN NEVER TRUSTED AMIN == WITH RERGON, OSOTE Wad SEEN (AMIN BRUTAL , oust BazeLy dl ONT ROLLABLE, ~ 7 =), me WS ee [JN THE MONTHS THAT FOLLOWED, UGANDA THRIVED, MOST PEOPLE THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING WRONG WITH IT? (M1971, 121 AMIN FIKED THAT. GRADE EDUCATION BECAME A REASSURINGLY COMIC FIGURE KAMPALA, THE CAPITAL THEY Att avenen wien He) UUMPED INTO SHIMANE oes AT PARTIES |: (RUMOR HELD THAT AMIN BERATED THE GENEL & HEAD AT DINNER, AND KEPT IT WITH OTHERS N THE FRIDEE AT MIGHT. DAMMIT , HUSSEIN, I TOLO You ANDTile PURGE SWEPT UP THE COUNTRY © CHIEF JUSTICE AND EVEN CABINET MINISTERS. = RE EST NV jeanne> Saco ries Te a ee TARY PEOPLE Sa10 THAT POLITICAL 72 ELUDCEON THEIR FELLOWS -- OPTEN WITH HELP FOM AMIN, BL SHINS LIFE SEEMED CHARMED. HE SURVIVED 22 ATTEMPTS FO KILL HIM. \S (FNALLY HE STUMBLED, HE TACKED WEIBHBORING TANZANIA AND LOST.