Love Has Everything to Do With Everything

If you’ve raised a child, you know that a baby’s total focus is on its own needs and
comfort. That self-absorbtion is essential to its survival. But as soon as a baby is
able to understand, he or she must be taught to switch from being self-absorbed to
being aware that its needs are no more important than the needs of other members
of his or her immediate family. Eventually, the child must also learn that his or her
needs are no more important than those of everyone and everything else with
whom he or she shares life on Earth.
Every child develops their character based on what they perceive to be acceptable
and unacceptable behavior. This perception is developed by observing the way
people react to the appearance, behavior, manner of speaking and types of words
used by their parents, their siblings and everyone else whose behavior they witness
and/or experience, either first hand or via movies, books, magazines, television and
radio. For example, behavior and styles of clothing worn by anyone perceived to
be a role model tends to be emulated by impressionable individuals who are
seeking to establish their personal identity and to gain the attention of those whose
attention they covet. In other words, everyone is seeking love and/or attention, and
they are willing to do almost anything to obtain the love and/or attention they seek.
Consequently, a child’s parents, siblings, teachers and others who regularly interact
with him or her use the child’s need for love and/or attention to reinforce the
child’s perception of what is acceptable behavior and what is unacceptable
behavior. Therefore, everyone with whom the child interacts on a regular basis
either shows the child “love” or withholds it in order to obtain the desired result.
Of course, this tactic is most effective when all persons who are important to the
child project the same expectations and react in a consistent manner. This
consistency helps the child develop the kind of character he or she will need in
order to become a fully accepted member of their extended family as well as
society as a whole.
The problem is, using “love” to teach children how to behave properly is only one
part of a parent’s responsibility in teaching their children about “love”. Parents
must also teach their children how to love, not only themselves but everyone else
with whom they share Earth and its resources. How does one “love” everyone
else? The Christian Bible talks about “agape” love, that is, the love presented in
the Ten Commandments, but other religions have similar guidelines for how
strangers should “love one another”.
Agape love is love practiced dutifully and without emotion. On the other hand,
there’s another kind of love, the kind the French troubadours of the 13th through
15th called “amore”. Their poetry glorified the powerful emotional response one
has to beauty beheld in another person by describing the passion one person can
evoke in another person, a passion that transcends sexual stimulation and focuses
on the qualities that make that person uniquely attractive.
Since “amore” focuses on the special emotions a person experiences in response to
beauty beheld, its glorification was objectionable to the clergy of the day because
they believed “amore” would influence their followers to behave in ways the
Church found unacceptable. In other words, church leaders believed that the
concept of “amore” would disrupt the practice of “agape love” advocated by the
Church, because “agape love” does not focus on the unique qualities attributed to
one individual or object compared to all others.
Consequently, they tried to stop the troubadours by arresting them and having them
put to death, but the Church was not able to eradicate their ideas or prevent people
from experiencing the emotional impact evoked by experiencing natural beauty
first hand or by experiencing it vicariously through the descriptions provided by
the troubadors in their poetry. Sure enough, people began to accept that the
passionate emotions they experienced when they encountered a special person or a
remarkable landscape were OK, and they also began to realize that similar feelings
could be evoked by reading someone else’s graphic description of the beauty they
had experienced or by viewing someone else’s depiction of the beauty they had
witnessed. Eventually, people began to accept that these kinds of feelings are
normal and good, not abnormal and sinful as the Church would have them believe.
As a result, they began to distrust the impersonal dictates of the Church, and
eventually the Church’s control over the daily lives of the followers began to
erode.
Unfortunately, this trend away from the practice of “agape love” in impersonal
relationships has resulted in increasing selfishness, and selfishness eventually leads
to chaos because people no longer feel compelled to adhere to the dictates of the
Golden Rule, ie “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, and the
Golden Rule is simply a succinct instruction for how to practice “agape love”.
Therefore, having everyone practice “agape love” by adhering to the Golden Rule
is essential to creating a world-wide attitude of inclusiveness that will make it more
likely that the survivablity of the Human species will be prolonged indefinitely.
Without “agape love”, the world is threatened with chaos. Without “amore”, the
world is likely to become an ever more unpleasant place in which to live.
Consequently, both kinds of love are essential and must be kept in balance if
Humanity is going to survive itself and realize its full potential.