I) Introduction

! “The true language of sex is primarily nonverbal. Our words and images are poor
! imitations of the deep and complicated feelings within us. Unsure of touching as
! a way of sharing with others, we have allowed our fears and discomforts to limit
! the rich possibilities for nonverbal communication. Sexual expression has a
! power most of us are still beginning to explore.” -Ashley Montagu, “Touching...”

! A) Your hands are your most versatile and nimble tool, if you use them right
! ! 1) truly, your hands are your PRIMARY sexual tool
! ! 2) hands can do almost everything your mouth and cock can do
! ! 3) you can use your hands while you’re doing other things
! ! 4) your hands/your touch can create or destroy connection
! ! 5) sex and intimacy begin with touch
! ! ! a) imagine sharing intimate information with somebody who’s never
! ! ! ! touched you or who touched you uncomfortably

! B) This is what women want

! ! 1) I know this based on my experience
! ! ! a) women often were not attracted to me until I touched them
! ! ! ! i) for men attraction is “far,” for women “near”
! ! ! ! ii) this is related directly to men being more “visually”
! ! ! ! ! stimulated and women being more tactilely stimulated
! ! ! b) my other skills with women paled in comparison
! ! 2) women’s response to this course
! ! ! a) “OMG, THANK YOU, men need that.”

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! C) What this course IS and IS NOT
! ! 1) NOT a course that teaches how to manipulate women into having sex
! ! ! with you
! ! ! a) What kind of man do you want to be?
! ! ! ! i) a pathetic man who needs to chase after women and sex
! ! ! ! ! with women just to boost his self-esteem?
! ! ! ! ii) a man who women love because he cares about them and
! ! ! ! ! learns how to please them?
! ! 2) It IS a course that teaches you how to give women what they want
! ! ! a) this is mutually beneficial
! ! ! b) what I want to help you create are win-win interactions

! B) How the course works

! ! 1) a foundation in theory, to promote psychological shifts
! ! ! a) most men’s psychological disposition around sex is not helpful -
! ! ! ! it is harmful - it’s all about “getting” and “winning”
! ! 2) learning skills and practicing them
! ! ! a) solo exercises
! ! 3) learning from visual examples

II) Good Handz Theory

! A) Understanding Touch (and Body Language)

! ! 1) the primary sense

! ! ! a) the first to develop and therefore the most important
! ! ! b) you cannot live without your sense of touch
! ! ! c) babies will die without touch
! ! ! d) developmental disabilities
! ! ! e) touch is related to our “feelings” and our sense of reality

“Touching is defined as "the action, or an act, of feeling some thing with the hand, etc."
The operative word is feeling. Al though touch is not itself an emotion, its sensory
elements induce those neural, glandular, muscular, and mental changes which in

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combination we call an emotion. Hence touch is not experienced as a simple physical
modality, as sensation, but affectively, as emotion. When we speak of being touched,
especially by some act of beauty or sympathy, it is the state of being emotionally moved
that we wish to describe.”

-Ashley Montagu, "Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin"

"...in the final analysis we do not believe in the reality of anything unless we can touch it;
we must have tangible evidence. Even faith rests ultimately upon a belief in the
substance of things to come or of past events experienced. What we perceive through
the other senses as reality we actually take to be nothing more than a good hypothesis,
subject to the confirmation of touch. Observe how often people will respond to a sign
reading "Wet Paint." Quite frequently they will approach and test the surface with their
fingers for themselves. The sign acts upon them as a signal to touch, to verify. Touch
attests to "objective reality" in the sense of something outside that is not myself."

-Ashley Montagu
"Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin"

! ! ! ! - the vocabulary we use related to touch is voluminous

! ! ! ! ! i) “rubbing people the wrong way”
! ! ! ! ! ii) “stroking someone the right way”
! ! ! ! ! iii) “abrasive” or “prickly” personalities
! ! ! ! ! iv) getting “in touch” with somebody, “contacting”
! ! ! ! ! v) “handing” somebody or a task
! ! ! ! ! vi) “thick-skinned,” “thin-skinned,” “under one’s skin...”
! ! ! ! ! vii) something is real if it is “tangible” or “palpable”
! ! ! ! ! viii) people are “touchy,”
! ! ! ! ! ix) “out of touch,” have lost their grip”
! ! ! ! ! x) unfeeling people are “calloused”
! ! ! ! ! xi) “makes one’s skin crawl”
! ! ! ! ! xii) something good and true is “solid”
! ! ! ! ! xiii) “warm” people and “cold” people
! ! !
! ! ! f) touch creates immediate physiological and emotional response

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! ! ! ! ! i) stimulates neurochemicals
! ! ! ! ! ii) stimulates memories
! ! ! ! ! iv) creates unavoidable pleasure or pain
! ! ! !

! ! 2) emotion transfers through touch (and Body Language)

! ! ! a) DePauw University studies
! ! ! b) a baby senses their parent’s anxiety and emotional struggle
! ! ! ! i) Wilhelm Reich discovered that babies pick up and express
! ! ! ! ! their parents’ emotions
! ! ! ! ii) “anxious mothers produce anxious babies” [“Psychosocial
! ! ! ! ! Medicine,” James L. Halliday]
! ! ! c) think of the inferences you can make about somebody through
! ! ! ! their handshake

! ! 3) Body Language
! ! ! a) our body language conveys our true feelings
! ! ! ! i) pay attention to hands and face, especially
! ! ! b) a woman’s boundaries will be conveyed through BL
! ! ! ! i) you particularly want to look for open vs. closed body
! ! ! ! ! language
! !
! ! 4) touch creates or destroys connection
! ! ! a) hands are tools that can create or destroy
! ! ! b) good touch creates connection, stimulating oxytocin
! ! ! ! i) connection, bonding, safety, closeness
! ! ! ! ii) good feelings, turn-on
! ! ! c) bad touch destroys connection, stimulating cortisol
! ! ! ! i) stress, discomfort, anxiety, repulsion
! ! ! ! ii) fight or flight

! ! 5) 4 main types of touch

! ! ! a) many people interpret all touch as sexual
! ! ! ! i) probably due to their early conditioning and lack of
! ! ! ! ! experience with touch

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! ! ! b) 4 types of good touch
! ! ! ! i) comforting
! ! ! ! ii) therapeutic
! ! ! ! iii) sensual
! ! ! ! iv) sexual
! ! ! c) to be comfortable with sexual touch, you must get comfortable, at
! ! ! ! least, with comforting touch - also, sensual touch
! !
! ! 6) sex is an act of touch (and feeling)
! ! ! a) sex is essentially an act of touch
! ! ! ! i) your hands are your primary tools for touching
! ! ! ! ii) sex always begins with the hands
! ! ! a) we all touch ourselves as babies and are taught it’s wrong
! ! ! ! i) this becomes our primary conditioning around sex and our
! ! ! ! ! bodies
! ! ! ! ii) we regard our sexual urges as “bad” and therefore
! ! ! ! ! develop abnormal sexual desires (including all variety
! ! ! ! ! of fantasy)

! ! 7) touch can be profoundly healing (or wounding)

! ! ! a) almost ALL of us have been wounded through (or around) touch
! ! ! ! [deep impact on our consciousness]
! ! ! ! i) physical abuse
! ! ! ! ii) having our sexual urges suppressed
! ! ! ! iii) physical neglect
! ! ! ! iv) we replay these wounds, passing them on to the next
! ! ! ! ! generation
! ! ! a) physically healing
! ! ! ! i) increasing circulation
! ! ! ! ii) increasing nerve function
! ! ! ! iii) increasing energy flow
! ! ! ! iv) relieving tension and stress
! ! ! b) emotionally and psychologically healing
! ! ! ! ! [reversing the damage done in childhood and beyond]
! ! ! ! i) nurturing

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! ! ! ! ii) reassuring
! ! ! ! iii) relieving stress
! ! ! ! iv) providing much-needed pleasure

! ! 8) you must learn to get comfortable with touch (reprogram yourself)

! ! ! a) if you’ve been negatively conditioned around touch
! ! ! ! i) we all have been, to some degree
! ! ! ! ii) “The enormous variety of meanings which sex may have
! ! ! ! ! for different individuals, a language which has the
! ! ! ! ! kinds of things to say to the other that can be said in
! ! ! ! ! no other way, an exchange of love, a means of hurting
! ! ! ! ! or exploiting others, a mode of defense, a bargaining
! ! ! ! ! point, a way of self-denial or self-assertion, an
! ! ! ! ! affirmation or a rejection of masculinity or femininity,
! ! ! ! ! and so on, not to mention the abnormal or
! ! ! ! ! pathological expressions which sex may take, all,
! ! ! ! ! more or less, are influenced by early tactile
! ! ! ! ! experience.”
! ! ! a) comfortable with giving touch
! ! ! ! i) practice the exercises in this program
! ! ! ! ii) practice using platonic forms of touch (comforting and
! ! ! ! ! therapeutic)
! ! ! b) comfortable with receiving touch
! ! ! ! i) get a (non-sexual) massage

! ! 9) good touch is part talent and part learned behavior

! ! ! a) “Through repetition, that is by learning, capacities become
! ! ! ! abilities enabling the individual to make the fine
! ! ! ! discriminations that endow the particular sensations with
! ! ! ! particular meanings. An ability is a trained capacity, and
! ! ! ! every human being has to learn how to make such fine
! ! ! ! discriminations. Just as he has to learn the ability of
! ! ! ! stereognosis so, too, he learns to develop the sensitivities
! ! ! ! inherent in his skin, or he does not.” (stereognosis is the
! ! ! ! ability to perceive shape and form through touch)

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! ! 10) there are different elements of touch
! ! ! a) pressure, rhythm, duration, speed, etc.
! ! ! b) don’t worry about these, just play, explore, and be sincere
! ! ! c) focusing too much on technical things will take you out of the
! ! ! ! moment, put you in your head. You want to be in your body,
! ! ! ! immersed in sensation

! B) What Women Want (in a sexual relationship)

! ! 1) to feel safe
! ! ! a) a woman desires to feel safe with a man, period
! ! ! b) she cannot get turned on if she doesn’t feel safe
! ! ! c) you MUST be aware of and respect a woman’s BOUNDARIES
! ! ! ! i) cats and dogs
! ! ! ! ii)women are more vulnerable
! ! ! ! iii) “Tactile stimulation is much more meaningful to females
! ! ! ! than it is to males. As Fritz Kahn says, bodily contact is to a
! ! ! ! woman an act of great intimacy and a far-reaching
! ! ! ! concession. Hence, a woman who refuses intimate
! ! ! ! connection with a man is roused to indignation if he touches
! ! ! ! her against her will, and repulses !him with the withering
! ! ! ! words, "How dare you touch me!"
! ! ! d) a woman is more physically and emotionally vulnerable than a
! ! ! ! man in sexual and romantic interactions
! ! ! ! i) “swept off her feet”
! ! 2) connection and intimacy
! ! ! a) this implies vulnerability or both of you, and communication
! ! ! b) “What men need to understand is that intimacy is a conversation.
! ! ! ! Most of the time, men are either grabbing and groping, or
! ! ! ! unconsciously stroking.” -Anonymous woman
! ! 3) to feel cherished
! ! ! a) paying attention to and enjoying a woman’s company makes her
! ! ! ! feel cherished
! ! 4) to feel nurtured

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! ! ! a) this means you’re taking care of her
! ! ! b) your simple presence (inner quiet) is nurturing to her
! ! ! c) touching her lovingly is nurturing to her
! ! 5) to feel held
! ! ! a) this is actually the primary reason many women have sex
! ! ! ! “Of the group of thirty-nine women patients, twenty-one, or
! ! ! ! slightly more than one-half, had used sex to entice a male to
! ! ! ! hold them. Twenty-six of the women had made direct
! ! ! ! requests to be held.”
! ! ! b) you can hold a woman in every interaction, every touch
! ! ! c) Ashley Montagu writes:
! ! ! ! “To put one's arms around another is communicate love to
! ! ! ! ! the other, for which another word is security.”
! ! 6) to be turned on
! ! ! a) women want sex just as much as men!!!
! ! ! ! i) women’s sexual desires may be a little different, but they
! ! ! ! ! want sex just as much as men
! ! ! ! ii) (just not what’s being offered)
! ! ! b) remember that she can’t be turned on if she doesn’t feel safe
! ! ! c) women usually require ample foreplay in order to be turned on
! ! ! ! i) this is partially psychological
! ! ! ! ii) it is also physiological, as a number of things must happen
! ! ! ! ! for a woman, physiologically, before she is ready to be
! ! ! ! ! penetrated
! ! ! c) the more skill you have with your touch, the more turned on she
! ! ! ! can get
! ! ! d) “At all ages the female is very much more responsive to tactile
! ! ! ! stimuli than the male, and more dependent upon touch for
! ! ! ! erotic arousal than the male, who depends more upon visual
! ! ! ! stimuli. The difference seems to be, at least in part, genetic,
! ! ! ! but cultural differences undoubtedly also play a role in the
! ! ! ! development of tactual responsiveness as between the
! ! ! ! sexes.”
! ! 7) to be handled
! ! ! a) women actually like rough interactions in many cases

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! ! ! ! i) but they ALWAYS need to feel safe to enjoy it
! ! ! b) you can handle a woman using Gentle Firmness*
! ! ! c) handling a woman basically means
! ! ! ! i) restraining her
! ! ! ! ii) picking her up
! ! ! ! iii) grabbing her
! ! ! ! iv) turning her over
! ! ! ! v) etc.
! ! ! d) some women, when turned on, desire intense tactile stimulation
! ! ! ! that would be painful if they were not turned on.
! ! ! ! “In sexual arousal the whole sensory character of the skin is
! ! ! ! ! heightened. Sensations that under ordinary
! ! ! ! ! circumstances would be painful, often become
! ! ! ! ! intensely pleasurable. Some women in the midst of
! ! ! ! ! orgasm will cry out to be hurt and will enjoy the pain
! ! ! ! ! inflicted upon them, a pain always directed at and
! ! ! ! ! experienced through the skin”
! ! 8) a ‘confident’ man
! ! ! a) the difference between confident and aggressive
! ! ! ! i) confidence is gained through experience and mastery
! ! ! ! ii) aggression is a product of insecurity
! ! ! ! ! -it’s obvious when a guy is trying to act confident
! ! ! ! ! ! that he’s obviously insecure
! ! ! b) “You touched me like you owned me.” -ex-girlfriend
! ! 9) presence
! ! ! a) let go of strategizing and actually be with the woman
! ! ! b) presence is just basic focused attention
! ! ! c) having clear, calm presence is enough to melt a woman
! ! 10) skilllzzz
! ! ! a) women are impressed by many skills - these are the top 3
! ! ! ! i) conversation
! ! ! ! ii) style and grooming
! ! ! ! iii) bedroom skills
! ! ! ! ! -bedroom skills are 80% HANDZ

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! ! ! [NOTICE that ALL THREE of these skills have a DIRECT effect on
! ! ! ! them.]

! C) What’s Stopping You From Giving Women What They Want

! ! 1) negative examples of relating to women
! ! ! a) porn is male-pleasure focused fantasy
! ! ! ! i) drilling and controlling a woman
! ! ! ! ii) degrading her
! ! ! ! iii) lack of adequate foreplay
! ! ! b) most media shows bad examples of sex
! ! ! ! i)
! ! 2) lack of experience and education (in relating and with touch)
! ! ! a) nobody taught you
! ! ! b) women don’t give helpful feedback
! ! ! c) you weren’t paying attention
! ! ! d) “Women have always in great numbers complained of the
! ! ! ! male's lack of tenderness sexually and in general.”

“The oft-heard complaint directed by women at the clumsiness, crassness, and

incompetence of men in their sexual approaches and in sexual intercourse itself, men's
lack of skill in foreplay and their failure to understand its meaning, almost certainly
substantially reflects the lack of tactile experience that such males have suffered in
childhood. The roughness with which many men will handle women and children
constitutes yet another evidence of their having been failed in early tactile experience,
for it is difficult to conceive of anyone who had been tenderly loved and caressed in
infancy not learning to approach a woman or a child with especial tenderness. The very
word tenderness implies softness, delicacy of touch, caring for. The gorilla, that gentle
creature, is the most frequently slandered animal when women wish to describe the
sexual approaches of the average male. Sex seems to be regarded as a tension
releaser rather than as a profoundly meaningful act of communication in a deeply
involving human relationship.” - “Touching...”

! ! 3) not understanding/feeling women

! ! ! a) the best way to learn about women is to pay attention to them, to
! ! ! ! listen to them

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! ! ! b) though, the fact is that you will never really understand women
! ! ! ! i) “Women are meant to be loved, not understood.”
! ! ! ! ! -Oscar Wilde
! ! ! c) you should pay more attention to wanting to “feel” a woman than
! ! ! ! understanding her
! ! ! d) men want to be understood, women want to be felt
! ! 4) lack of self-control (being too aggressive)
! ! ! a) studies have shown that women’s biggest complaint about men
! ! ! ! is that they are too sexually aggressive
! ! ! ! i) one reason women interpret men as being sexually
! ! ! ! ! aggressive is simply because they have not eased a
! ! ! ! ! woman into sexual interaction
! ! ! ! ! ! - the first kiss
! ! ! ! ! ! - moving too fast
! ! ! b) primarily, what differentiates a boy and a man is self-control
! ! ! ! i) a child is insecure, doesn’t know that his needs will be met
! ! ! ! ii) a man is secure and knows that he will get what he wants
! ! ! ! ! if he is patient and works for his reward
! ! 5) neediness
! ! ! a) NEEDY: Nobody Ever Even Desires You
! ! ! b) nothing kills any relationship more than neediness
! ! ! c) women will FEEL your neediness when you touch them
! ! ! d) aggression actually comes from neediness
! ! 6) you’re nervous and lack confidence
! ! ! a) pay attention
! ! ! b) practice
! ! ! c) forget yourself
! ! 7) you may be uncomfortable with touch, in general
! ! ! a) practice using comforting and therapeutic touch more
! ! 8) you don’t know how your own touch feels
! ! ! a) must start touching yourself to gain sensory awareness
! ! ! b) pay closer attention to a woman’s responses
! ! ! ! i) remember that intimacy is a conversation; you have to not
! ! ! ! ! only do, but pay attention to the response
! ! 8) sex-negative culture (mixed messages about pleasure)

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! ! ! a) we are taught to devalue our simple, pure, sexual expression
! ! ! ! and desire
! ! ! b) yet we are immersed in sexual imagery and are told that we are
! ! ! ! not men if we are not getting sex
! ! ! c) this all results in a great deal of anxiety (and lack of confidence)

! D) How to Give Women What They Want

! ! 1) slow down
! ! 2) be present (aware)
! ! 3) have self-control
! ! ! “There’s nothing hotter than a man who knows how to withhold his
! ! ! ! sexual energy.” -anonymous woman
! ! 3) hold them
! ! ! a) remember women want to be held just as much as they want sex
! ! ! b) holding a woman helps her feel safe with you
! ! ! c) ABH (Always be holding)
! ! 4) tease them
! ! ! a) this is part of going slow and it drives them crazy
! ! ! b) teasing is done mostly WITH YOUR HANDS
! ! 5) enjoy foreplay
! ! ! a) teasing is part of foreplay
! ! ! b) learn to enjoy giving her pleasure
! ! ! c) many women find foreplay MORE pleasurable than intercourse!
! ! ! d) foreplay is NOT just giving her head
! ! ! ! i) it is mostly HANDS
! ! 5) take control (when they feel safe)
! ! 6) touch them everywhere
! ! ! a) every part of a woman’s body is an erogenous zone
! ! ! b) “The tactual-cutaneous sensitivity of the genitals at puberty
! ! ! ! becomes more acute and in the male becomes the major
! ! ! ! focus of his sexuality, while the female seems to retain more
! ! ! ! of the larger overall tactuality of infancy while exhibiting
! ! ! ! especial sensitivity in breasts, labiae and clitoris.”
! ! 7) stop strategizing and worrying about doing everything right

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! ! ! a) technique is good, but caring is best
! ! ! b) so long as you are aware, present, and caring, you’ll do alright

! E) Primary Principles of the Program

! ! 1) Givingness
! ! ! a) the most important principle of this program
! ! ! b) give to give, not to get (you get what you give)
! ! ! c) focus on her pleasure, not what you’re getting
! ! ! d) the more you truly give, the more you will usually get

! ! 2) Lovingness
! ! ! a) you have to recognize her as a human being, not an object
! ! ! ! i) care for her like you would care for a baby or a child
! ! ! b) all human beings desire to be loved (sex and intimacy are
! ! ! ! opportunities to love each other)
! ! ! c) the more loving your intention is, the better your touch will feel
! ! ! ! and the more love you’ll get in return

! ! 3) Awareness
! ! ! a) everything is learned through awareness, by ‘paying attention’
! ! ! b) if you’re not using awareness, you are acting mechanically, and
! ! ! ! mechanical relating, mechanical touching, is a poor
! ! ! ! substitute for the real thing
! ! ! c) the more aware you are, the better your touch will feel
! ! 4) Feeling and Sensitivity
! ! ! a) the ability to feel acutely, to feel all the differences (every woman
! ! ! ! is different in !every moment)
! ! ! b) sensitivity to a woman’s boundaries, needs, and desires
! ! ! ! sensitivity with your touch/hands
! ! ! c) touch to feel, not just to affect
! ! 5) Slow Down (go at her pace)
! ! ! a) female arousal rate
! ! ! b) women need to feel safe

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! ! ! c) sexual tension builds as you move slowly
! ! ! d) must pay attention to her signals
! ! “There is nothing hotter than a man who knows how to withhold his sexual
! ! ! energy.” -anonymous woman

! ! 6) The Woman is In Charge

! ! ! a) for harmony, the person who is more vulnerable must have the
! ! ! ! first and final say
! ! ! b) women invite advances, without invitation, the advance is shut
! ! ! ! down or she is violated
! ! 7) Holding (and “holding space”)
! ! ! a) a safe space where nothing is required
! ! ! b) the man should hold a woman like a wine glass holds wine (Mike
! ! ! ! Lousada)
! ! ! c) when you hold a woman, let yourself, all your anxiety and desires
! ! ! ! fall away (just be the container)
! ! 8) Connection and Intimacy
! ! ! a) women usually desire more connection and intimacy in order to
! ! ! ! allow sex
! ! ! b) connection requires presence, really being there
! ! ! c)intimacy implies vulnerability, really being seen, as you are (this
! ! ! ! is powerful)
! ! 9) Playfulness
! ! ! a) we all learn through play, through exploration
! ! ! b) play is joyful, simple and innocent
! ! ! c) give-give, not give-take
! ! ! d) play is a push-pull interaction
! ! ! e) sex is best when playful, not serious (though, sincere)
! ! 10) Gentle Firmness
! ! ! a) an animal picking up its baby
! ! ! b) a handshake
! ! ! c) a gentleman
! ! ! d) the wind
! ! 11) Microcosmic Touch
! ! ! a) every part affects the whole

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! ! ! b) when you touch one part, touch it as if you are touching her
! ! ! ! whole being
! ! ! c) every part of a woman’s body is an erogenous zone

! F) Some Other Things

! ! 1) chemistry
! ! 2) variability of women’s desires and preferences
! ! 3) Some women you’ll be able to feel more than others (this may be due
! ! ! to chemistry and it may be due to her own type of energy)
! ! ! i) the more turned on a woman is, the more you can feel her
! ! ! ! energy. This is because she is radiating more energy
! ! 3) confidence and dominance
! ! 4) being vulnerable
! ! !

! G) What NOT To Do
! ! a) touch mechanically - without awareness
! ! ! i) this is usually touching with too much force or too lightly
! ! ! ii) touching should always be deliberate (whether light or firm)
! ! ! iii) do not touch tentatively
! ! b) never restrain a woman unless she is already VERY comfortable w/ you
! ! c) usually avoid touching a woman’s belly unless she’s very comfortable
! ! d) don’t reach for a woman’s face or neck (or head) unless she’s already
! ! ! very comfortable with you
! ! e) reach for a woman’s ass or breasts (in early interactions)

III) Solo Exercises

! A) Hand Strength Exercises [see ‘Solo Exercises’ Document]

! B) Hand Sensitivity Exercises [see ‘Solo Exercises’ Document]
! C) Feeling Your Own Touch [see ‘Solo Exercises’ Document]
! D) Self-Pleasuring Exercise [see ‘Solo Exercises’ Document]

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IV) Model Demo
! A) Initial Touches
! ! [to communicate more sensuality and sexual interest, hold touches longer]
! ! 1) hug
! ! ! a) brush arms down side variations (also with hands/pinkies)
! ! 2) handshake
! ! ! a) two-handed variation
! ! 3) cheek-kiss greeting
! ! ! a) variations with hands
! ! 4) touch in neutral touch zone
! ! ! a)

! B) Prep for making out

! ! 1) keep your nails trimmed and clean
! ! 2) wash your hands
! ! 3) are your hands cold?
! C) A little massage
! ! ! [this is a kind thing to do for a woman, as well as a possible lead-in
! ! ! to a make-out. Just don’t be a creep and expect it to move into a
! ! ! make-out.]
! ! 1) so long as you are paying attention, you’ll do pretty well
! ! 2) starting with shoulders, moving to neck
! ! 3) ask if you can massage scalp
! ! 4) move to temples
! ! 5) light micro-brushes up nape of neck
! ! 6) bindu point
! ! 7) ears
! !
! D) Basic Make-Out
! ! 1) most guys go wrong at the first kiss
! ! ! a) not enough touch leading up to it
! ! ! b) not reading body language / bad timing
! ! ! c) grabbing inappropriately during kiss
! ! ! d) going in too forcefully with the lips and/or tongue
! ! 2) start with more touching, ideally

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! ! ! a) start with comforting touch > therapeutic/sensual > sexual
! ! ! b) the “sexual touch” begins when you are cued!
! ! ! ! i) sexual touch has more of a push-pull feel to it
! E) Erogenous Zones and Specific Strokes
! ! 1) Remember - it’s EZ - every zone is an erogenous zone

! ! 2) generally, you will move from the least erogenous zones to the most
! ! ! erogenous zones (coolest to hottest)

! ! 3) generally, strokes that move toward a woman’s primary erogenous

! ! ! zones will turn her on more
! F) Restraining
! ! 1) restraining is ‘hot,’ but cannot be employed if the woman is not already
! ! ! comfortable
! ! 2) the best kind of restraining, initially, is just hinting at restraining, not
! ! ! actually restraining (It is PLAY)
! G) Moving from Sensual touch to Sexual Touch
! ! 1) sensual strokes are more smooth, pushing with gentle pressure
! ! 2) sexual strokes are more clutching, more gripping, pulling, pushing
! H) Holding
! I) Cuddling

V. CONCLUSION
A. A few other things:
1. spontaneity and intuition
a) you want to be feeling more than thinking
b) you want to “listen” to the woman’s body
c) you can ask yourself “how would she want to be touched?” and “how
would this part of her body want to be touched?”
2. caveats and exceptions
a) sometimes women are just really hot and horny and want to move fast
(1) sometimes this is actually what they want and you should go for it
(2) sometimes, it’s what they think they’ll want and they’ll regret it later
(3) best to err on the side of moving slowly
b) some women want to play the more dominant role and to take charge

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 (1) you don’t always have to be in the dominant role
(2) if you are accustomed to playing the dominant role, sometimes it’s
good to relax and surrender
3. Alcohol inhibits awareness
a) can make you move too fast
b) can make your touch very sloppy
c) can make you less attractive
d) people use alcohol not to “feel” fear or anxiety, but it can also inhibit things
that are really good to feel, sensitivity
B. Ethics and a story about ethics (and alcohol)
1. if you follow what I’m telling you in this program, you will have far more power
with women
a) more power makes sex more available
b) makes it easier to hurt women
c) more require requires more responsibility
2. “Great power, when it befalls a man, is a true test of his characters. All of his
actions have significant influence on others. What he says is heard, what he
thinks is felt. He has the wherewithal to bring enlightenment and progress to
his world, or to lead it into chaos and evil. He can greatly further his inner
development or completely exhaust himself. Therefore the man possessing
Great Power is mostly concerned with correctness.” -”I Ching Workbook,”
R.L. Wing
3. story about me and a friend in a hot-tub

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