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Brian Edwards
Instructor: Malcolm Campbell
UWRT 1104
11/08/2018
The Paradox of Fulfillment: Changing Ourselves to Change the World
There are many complex issues that exist in the world today. When one problem is solved

it is as if there is an even greater one lurking in its shadow. This is something that is also

occurring in all our lives. We each aspire and have a desire for something more. This carries the

burden of having to overcome problems and learn something new about yourself. What if that

journey is the key to solving the greater problems that exist in society and the world at large?

Perhaps if we embraced the hardships and failures as much as the glory and success and faced

the adversity that comes with the lifelong journey of self-actualization, then we would

unknowingly allow the world to shine brighter as well.

Everyone is living a different life. Their minds influenced by past experiences, present

conditions, and future endeavors. In the same manner, there are many ways to achieve self-

actualization. There have been psychological studies based around this phenomenon, one of

which dates back all the way to the 1960s done by Psychotherapist, Everett L. Shostrom and the

Institute of Therapeutic Psychology. They describe the self-actualized person as someone who

can, “tie the past and the future to the present in meaningful continuity.” Often there are people

that argue that they cannot be successful in something they are pursuing or once pursued due to

their circumstances. They believe that they were not born with the right talents or maybe they

have just failed so many times that it just seems like an exercise in futility to even try anymore. It

is very true that all of us have different lives and different ways of going about them, as I stated

earlier. However, the key is not becoming a slave to the events of the past. First and foremost,
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even those that seem to have a high aptitude naturally for their field or fields had to put in a

considerable amount of work to achieve that which they set out to achieve. The deck is stacked

against us all in different ways, and no one has reached success without deep introspection,

dreaming, and calculating. The past is meant as a reflection point and not a dwelling point.

Thinking about what can be done better instead of simply wallowing in that instance of failure

can propel you closer to your desired results.

Psychiatrist, Carl Jung talks about this topic of understanding more about one’s psyche in

his book titled, “The Undiscovered Self”. He pinpoints a different terminology called self-

knowledge that states that the mind and the body behave similarly in that although it is

something that we live in and with it is something that we have very little knowledge of if the

proper research has not been done prior. What this shows is that if the proper precautions are not

taken to assess the situation at hand, people’s perspectives are often based upon a spontaneous

reaction to the things that are presented to them. That is when people begin to take on the futile

exercise of searching for answers outside of themselves instead of facing the truth about

themselves or past events.

The simple difference between people that have reached the point of self-actualization in

their life and those that are still wandering is mindset.

A writer and columnist, Pagan Kennedy, wrote an article for the New York Times

chronicling the life of novelist, William Styron and his battle with depression during a time

where there was a harsh stigma attached to such a mental illness. Styron was labeled by brain

scientist, Alice Flaherty as “the great god of depression” due to his deep level of insight into

depression. His book “Darkness Visible” became required reading in some medical schools and

inspired others to write about their experiences with depressions and other related mental issues
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in a time where people that were diagnosed with depression were seen as “pathetic and even

dangerous”. Before dying of cancer in 2006, he had one final message for everyone,

“Everyone must keep up the struggle, for it is always likely that you will win the battle

and nearly a certainty you will win the war. To all of you, sufferers and nonsufferers alike, I send

my abiding love.”

William Styron is an example of an interesting paradox in fulfillment. That someone who

is depressed can have a high understanding of their purpose. William felt that after writing

extensively on the matter, he felt that it was his duty to take on the role as the “guru of

depression”. This shows that one’s fulfillment and ultimate contribution to the world is

dependent on the way in which they utilize their circumstances and not just their circumstances

alone. In Styron’s case, he has shown the dichotomy between succumbing to the mental and

physical ailments that come with depression and fighting to be more and give more in the face of

one’s problems.

I have suffered from much of the same issue. For a very long time I never really liked

myself. I felt hopeless, spiteful, and worst of all suicidal. I wanted more than anything to do

something impactful and inspire other people but at the same time I had given up because I

always felt that I was not good enough. Until I realized one day that doing something great and

creating an impactful legacy comes from the will to do so and not simply from being good at

something. After all, your talent will take you places your character cannot keep you. Since then,

I have made that effort everyday to be something more than I was before and inspire others to do

the same.
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So what steps should we take to reach a point of self-actualization in each of our lives?

This of course is not going to concern itself with specific career paths or aspirations. Rather, it is

about the basic principles and behaviors that can be used as a guide for the actions that one takes

in any chosen path.

The first thing would be to embrace the serendipity that life offers.

Life is essentially random. However, this is to our advantage. That means that all it takes

is one moment, one person, one idea to change the course of your entire life. There is a story told

in the self-improvement book, “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill that talks about how a

mining company had sold off all their equipment for a few hundred dollars after tirelessly

working to mine for gold during the gold rush. The person that purchased the equipment got a

mining engineer to do some research and found out that the only problem was that the owners

were unfamiliar with fault lines and that just mining three feet from where they stopped would

open the vein of gold. This is a common problem that stems from a person’s lack of trust in the

serendipitous nature of the world and even more so, a lack of belief in the thing that they are

doing.

As the book explains, too often people quit due to being “overtaken by temporary

defeat”. Truly believing in what you are doing is what prevents that. I have come to realize in my

own life and other people’s lives, that quitting shows that you never really bought into the idea in

the first place. Again, pointing back to the importance of mindset and perspective. Those that

understand their mission, do not have the ubiquitous, “believe it when I see it” mentality. It goes

beyond confidence, and into the realm of simply understanding the law. Just as not feeling the

earth’s rotation is not enough evidence to say that it is not happening, the absence of

overwhelmingly vast changes and improvements is not enough to say that improvements are not
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being made. Those with a goal that satisfies their long-term fulfillment are always able to see this

progress from even the most minute of occurrences. They also are aware of another important

piece of the puzzle when following your dreams.

Know your opportunities. Don’t shy away from them. It is important to not let the fear

and self-doubt blur your situational awareness. I never wanted to accept offers from others

mainly because I felt that I was not worth it. However, I learned later that the biggest mistake

that you can make is feeling like you are not worth it. You should always grab hold of the

opportunities that align with your goal, especially when someone is willing to take a chance on

you. The more you actively try to better yourself and others through your goals, the more you

realize that people do not always need the best. Sometimes they might not even want that. They

just need someone that is willing to help and learn and be better than before. If you reject

opportunities because you think you “are not ready” then you will never be ready.

Enjoy the process of strengthening yourself. Clinical Psychologist and Professor at the

University of Toronto, Jordan Peterson, uses sports as an example of something that clearly

represents the one thing that we all crave in an interview with Lewis Howes on the School of

Greatness Podcast. He says that the popularity of sports stems from its dramatization of the “idea

of aim” and on top of that “the pursuit of excellence in pursuit of that aim”. In other words, it is

common sense to know that if you do not have something you need, your job at that moment is

to get it in whatever way you deem possible. That same thinking should be applied to your goals

and the knowledge necessary to achieve them. Therefore, in order to be skilled and

knowledgeable at something or a variety of things, it requires that you be willing to go through

the process of being woefully ignorant first. Moreover, knowing that that condition is one that

changes as naturally as day turns to night.

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Life is a never-ending gauntlet of problems. That is something that should be

exemplified. Because this suffering can be justified, as you come out the other end as someone

with newfound knowledge and integrity. Ready to bear the burden of the next challenge that

awaits you. I still have many experiences left in my life. And as a result, have many failures and

pitfalls left as well and they still hurt in spite of my anticipation of them. But, in the end I know

that as long as I stay true to my mission of helping others see the good in themselves, my

suffering is worthwhile. It is as Jordan Peterson says, “…it’s not naive optimism. It’s a very

different thing…things aren’t terrible: they’re brutal, and you are so damn tough you can’t

believe it.”
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Works Cited

Hill, Napoleon, Think and Grow Rich the Complete Classic Text, Tarcher/Penguin deluxe

edition, 2008

Howes, Lewis, Responsibility and Meaning, School of Greatness Podcast, Jordan Peterson 8

Jul 2018, jordanbpeterson.com/transcripts/lewis-howes/, Accessed 18 Oct 2018

Jung, Carl, The Undiscovered Self, Little, Brown and Company, 1957

Kennedy, Pagan, The Great God of Depression, 3 Aug 2018. New York Times,

www.nytimes.com/2018/08/03/opinion/sunday/depression-william-styron.html,

Accessed 18 Oct 2018.

Shostrom, L., Everett, An Inventory for the Measurement of Self-Actualization, Education and

Psychological Measurement, Vol.24, No.2, Institute of Therapeutic Psychology 1 Jul

1964, Institute of Therapeutic Psychology,

journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/001316446402400203, Accessed 18 Oct 2018.