Ramirez 1

Luis Ramirez

Ms. Batty

English 102

12 December 2018

Blackbird Reflection

In the new draft, I further explained my observation that girl and bird are synonymous in

Liverpool. By clearly stating how bird and girl have the same meaning in England, it is clearer

what my message is. I also explained how it related to my thesis by saying that the play on words

it proof that the song is directed towards African American women. I added transitions between

each of the paragraphs. I deleted sentences that were repetitive in the introduction and conclusion

so that the flow of the essay was better. I also further explained and provided evidence as to how

repetition is used in the song as a literary device. I did this by explaining how repetition is used

as a literary device in general to highlight an important theme. I also further explained how the

repetition used in the song is similar to the repeated insults and expectations many Americans

gave to African Americans at the time. They were repeatedly being told to get on with life just as

the blackbird in the song is repeatedly told to fly. The similarity between these two things is

clearly a way of the author highlighting what is overall message is. I also improved the

conclusion by making it more of a summary of what my ideas in the essay were. I used it to

summarize the overall theme of the song and explain why studying these types of things are

important even today. The old conclusion did not do a good job of summarizing what my points

were.