Elias Condakes

1 August 2018
Choral Lab Ensemble
Sara Carson

Choral Lab Reflection - 8/1

Today was a day. Sarah broke down and started crying out of the stress of the concert, and it
had absolutely nothing to do with my section. It was completely unpreventable and had very
little to do with anything the choir did, and all I wanted to do was give her a hug, which I
eventually did. In truth, she is a fabulous conductor, and we could all tell that it was a very
internal problem. This one action, while it was something that nobody dwelled upon, was
something that really got me personally thinking about what will happen when I get that way in
my class? What if it is something that is totally beyond my control?
I think Sarah handled herself with grace and did the absolute best she could with what
she had at the time, and there isn’t a bone in her body that isn’t good enough for her to do what
she’s doing. Dr. Barber’s feedback wasn’t harsh, and nothing about the circumstances we were
singing under would have caused for anyone else to cry. It was more that Sarah felt bad having
to go over and over and over the ending as she had just re-worked how she was going to cue
the ending of John Saw Duh Numbuh. In a sense, I feel as though this moment is an invaluable
learning experience not just for me as an observer, but for Sarah as a student. She knew that
there was nothing in particular to be done in terms of how the rehearsal was run and moved on,
she was just really hard on herself.
I really shouldn’t harp on this, but I am genuinely afraid of something like this happening
to me, if only because I know myself really well. I wish to channel both the energies of Sarah
and Dr. Barber. I believe wholeheartedly that I have the ability to overcome that kind of a
pressure-cooker situation, but I also want to get it over with sooner rather than later.