book highly ro everyone.” Deepak Ch Praise for Kitchen Table Wieds ‘Rachel Naomi Remen is natures pift co usa genius of dat easve and ‘rucial capaci, the haman heart. She has nach wo teach ws aboot ‘baling, Ioving, and fring Daniel Goleman, PRD, auchor of Fran Ill “A book of sunning radiance, authentic, and power aged snd ned my way through st, rom begining wo end...Come shaein this ‘atraorinary outpouring of oman wisdom Jon Kabat-Zinn, PAD, suthoe of Where Yu Eee Ae "Read these gorgeous rom-the-sal coi tthe ssh of bugging omic Gem, Boing hope. lesning a good deal mor about ie and Bving— and having» damned good it Norman Lear ‘Kites Tle Wich will give anyone an intimate nigh to wie getine hing i ll hou. A gree heer and ing an ec Larry Doty M.D. suthor of Haig Md ANNIVERSARY ‘Rachel Remen is one of the most important women of out tims Shes bacalben iid an extraordinary combination of wounded patiene and Mighly sled physician, an inritively compassionate hele, who i alo ied author ‘and dynamic speaker. She has had life-changing impact on ma” Naomi Judd “Llved Kit Tale Wisdom, Tis Beil book” —Jean Shinods Bolen, MD, author of Graydon That Heal ii: mena Il a (N ORNISH, M.D.‘When reinforcements came nd the enemy was pled back it as lear that ead sve ven five, He was decorate for this ation and his pte was o the ‘rent page of our hometown newspaper, the Ne Yr Daly Mi ror Iwas about seven atthe tne, and with real heroin my family, Instantly became the alk ofthe second rade, Best of All he had ben given lave and was coming to vst ws, Twas ly with extement, Secretly, was suprise by hese evens My uncle was shot, balling, nd wore gases. He even hada lit pothelly. Perhaps he would look diferent nw: Bute dd’, Away shy man, he seed uncomfortable with al he fis and uneasy neigh borafter neighbor cme by toshke hie and. Fly ound my ‘moment. Climbing ino sap, Itld hima how brave Thought ‘he wasand that was sree was never df anything Sai ing, he to me that this was far rom the ct, that he nd een more frightened tan ever before a his ie, Severely dnp. ined, Tried out, "But why id they ive you medal then” Gently he explined to me that anyone wh wasn't fad {in stations ke war was fol and they don't give medals to Pople for beng fol Tat being rave doesnot mean being nai Ieften means being ald and doing it anyway Te was the fs ofthe many techings about courage Ihave received in my hfeune and meant great deal tome. At the me, Twas aad of the dark and deepy shamed bout his But ‘my uncle who was aero wa alto fad, then perhaps there ‘rat hope for meas well had been stopped by my fear, milted byt, wounded in my sense of elf By telling me of his fear, my uncle had freed me, Hit herve became a art of my story a well ata part of hi, PROFESSIONALS DON'T CRY Ow» oF tix osx common experiences in the practice of moi the experience of ler and disappointment. Phyl dans ypclly experience many disappointments every week, fom the small nude ofthe lab tet reveling that a medication snot effective othe Bow ofa patient dying Is a ret dea Sar any caring person to handle. Yet mow ofthis loss remains mackxowedged and ungreve ‘teach corse now at ourlcl medial school othe Fist td second. yea students. In ene ofthe evening seminar, we ‘explore ourattudes toward los, uncover some ofthe belie out los we inherited from our files, identify our habitual ‘ategies fo dealing with a, and examin what we do instead of grieving Thisis often arch and deeply moog experience whch allows the stent to know themselves ad each other In liernt waystthe oe af one ofthe evening, woman det ood sd told me that her cae had already heen given twe lectures ‘on grieving bythe department of pyc, Vd not own thie sad Iapologie, saying that tight have been beter to choose smote tpi frthe evening's dacsion, "Oho," he ld “t ‘wat dllerent. They aight ut re theory and how to recognize when ur paints ar ieving lat And be respect of that, “The just didn't sy that ne woul have anything to grieve.” “The expectation tht we canbe immersed in suffering and les dil and not be touched by it a unreal as expecting tobeableto walk hrough water without geting wet. This sort of denis no eal mater The way we del with los shies ‘our capacity to be preset to ie more than anything ele. The way we protect ursles from lousmay be the way which we stance ourselves rome Protecting oureles from oe rather dn giving end lng ou losses sone of he major cases of burnout, Very few ofthe profesional have eated for burnout actly came ssyng that they were burned ou. I dont think mos ofthe new, The ost common hing 'webeen to i “There's ome thing wrong withme. don't eae anymore, Terie things hap penn front of me and fee nothing ™ Yee people who reily don’ care are rarely vulnerable to ‘bumout Peychopaths don'tburm out, There are no barned-ot tyrants or ditatrs. Only people who do care cn gett this pce of mambnest, We bum out not becae we daca bt beste we dont reve. Webum outbecaue we hvealowed ‘our hearts to becomes led with oe that we ave no room, lwo ae 8 “The burnout iteratare tals about the factor which heal burnout et, exercise, ply, the rlesing of wel ex pecans amy experience bumout oly realy begin o hel ‘when people ar how wo give. Geevingisa way ofslf-are, the stidte to profestonalm, Health profesional don't cy. Unfortunatly. “The second day of my nership in psa wen with ry senior resident to tell some young parents that the atomo- tie accident from which they hd excped without scratch elle their only child. Very new to he doctor ting, when they cred, hud erie wit them. Art was over, the senior et ent took me se and old me dha hd behaved very unpro fexonally. “These people were counting on our strength” he si. Ihde them down, took crim very mucho bart By the time myself wassenir resident, Ihadredn year Daring that year ato year-old baby let uatended for ‘only «moment, drowned ina bathtub, We fought to bring i backbat ater an hour we id to concede defeat. Taking the in ‘em with me, I went tell hve parents tat we hid nt been shletosivetheirchld, Overwhelmed they bepntosob. Aer time, the iter looked at me standing thee, trong dent snmy white cot, the shaken ater by my sie. “'m sory, Doe tor," he sil get ahold of myelin a minute. "I remember ‘hima, hs ice wet withafathe’stes and ehnk ofhis ap ‘ogy with shame. Convince then that my grief wat useless, self-indulgent waste of time, bd made myself into the sor of «pert to whom one could spoogie for being in pi. remember a rotation onthe peti sevice of Memor- lal Slon-Ketsering Cancer Centra New York. Daring thisro 8