Popularity over nothing

It’s funny how the smallest slip or misjudgement can turn into the greatest mistake of one’s life.
I am the victim of such misjudgements that ended with dire consequences. I cannot begin to tell you my
story without a tear popping into my eye, so I hope you won’t mind some crying too much. My
experience involved my best friend, John, and my hunger for popularity.

In highschool, many children tend to wish to be popular, they want the others to talk about how
great they are and about who’s the newest person they took a picture with. I was one of the outcasts,
anonymous in my school. I barely had any friends for as long as I remember, but I was content with that,
because my best friend, John, had been by my side my entire life. He was just like a brother to me, we
were unseparable ever since we had met. Nothing changed in highschool either, we were both lonely
and we only had each other. It’s safe to say that we were both happy with ourselves, until I decided that
I wasn’t.

In chemistry, I used to sit next to one of the most popular girls in my higschool, not to mention
beautiful. Her lifestyle intrigued me, so I started to analyze it a bit. Watching her talking to everyone in
school and seeing all the kids greet her when she entered the hall made me tell myself ‘Man, I wish I was
her..’ . And so, I became her. I started by trying to make conversation with her during chemistry, and
fortunately she was really nice to me. I had completely forgotten about John at that point. In the span of
a few days, she had introduced me to her group of friends and we started going out together more and
more.

I noticed how my follower count was going through the roof, how everyone started to greet me
on the hallways too. I was extremely happy with myself and my newly gained popularity. I thought that I
was made for this, that I was happy with my new self. Unfortunately, I started to realize that my popular
friends were nothing but a bunch of stupid kids who got their notoriety through making fun of everyone
else and considering themselves superior for looking better.

During my realization, I started to notice John hanging out with some new people, some I hadn’t
seen much around the school, they were considered the nerds. I had always appreciated the nerds for
their knowledge and different ways of having fun. Seeing John sit with them made me feel heartbroken
and only then did I completely take in what a mistake I had done. My best friend seemed to pay no more
attention to me, just like I did. I knew that he wouldn’t forgive me, but I had to try and apologize. Just as
I supposed, he completely ignored me. Before apologizing, I told my group of friends that I wanted to
leave because they were too toxic for me to handle, and that I was better off without them. I knew I was
going to be their newest target to make fun of, but I didn’t even care anymore. I had to make it right
with John.

I kept trying to get to him the following days, and one day he did listen. I told him absolutely
everything, but he didn’t seem to care for what I had to say. He told me ‘Oh, that’s too bad, you should
try to make new friends instead of wasting your time here.’. Those words completely broke me, left me
speechless. Since I could never get over the fact that I had lost John, I never made new friends, so I
became one of the kids who would sit alone at lunch and sometimes and cry thinking about their
miserable life. Unfortunately, popularity does ruin people and I learned it the hard way.

Well, that’s my story. I betrayed my best friend. I have regretted it ever since. I can’t stop
thinking about it. John never forgave me. I can never forgive myself either.